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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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I'm a Cancer, born in Massachusetts in the Summer on the Cape [Cod not Ann], now living in upstate New York, along the southern shore of Lake Ontario - definitely a Water Sign. And I think astrology is another of the many theories that mankind just hasn't been able to prove - yet. Today we all accept the fact that the world is round, that the Earth rotates around the Sun, that blood circulates throughout our bodies. And once these concepts were scoffed at too. So I'll keep an open mind until things are proven scientifically, no matter on which side of the fence the facts end up falling.

Wellfleet, I always suspected you were from Mass based on your username.

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I'm a Cancer, born in Massachusetts in the Summer on the Cape [Cod not Ann], now living in upstate New York, along the southern shore of Lake Ontario - definitely a Water Sign. And I think astrology is another of the many theories that mankind just hasn't been able to prove - yet. Today we all accept the fact that the world is round, that the Earth rotates around the Sun, that blood circulates throughout our bodies. And once these concepts were scoffed at too. So I'll keep an open mind until things are proven scientifically, no matter on which side of the fence the facts end up falling.

I can offer the following article which does a good job of referencing many studies on astrology:

http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/living/the-scientific-case-against-astrology  

 

There was also an important study a few years ago that showed it is much harder to shake someone's belief than to change their knowledge.  So, once someone believes something, they tend to look for things that support that belief and disregard things that would contradict it.  Whereas when we learn something, we may have a fact  wrong.  If we are given corrected facts, we tend to be accepting of them.  Knowledge is not as strongly rooted in our sense of self as our beliefs are.

 

I don't care what people want to believe in as long as they do no harm to others and do not try to force others into their belief system. The Duggars beliefs infuriate me because I feel they have hurt their children.  However, other than a few requirements, they are allowed to raise their children as they see fit.  But I do feel sorry for the kids.  

 

As for astrology, usually, who cares?  Believe, don't believe, or be like a friend of mine who says she doesn't believe except that she thinks all Scorpio men are jerks (that's the PG version).  However, when another friend of mine was living off of disability, many astrologers and psychics helped take her last dollars.  We learned too late that she was living without heat because she couldn't afford it and she had been barely eating.  When she died at 58, malnutrition was a major contributing factor.  So they used their beliefs and hers to hasten her death.  Failed on the do no harm part.  That is when I get concerned.   

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The good thoughts, hugs, and advice must have worked. I got a phone call from the Cardiology Department about ten minutes ago. I have an appointment next Monday at 4:30 p.m.

Wonderful news Bigskygirl. Now maybe you can get the answers you need. Hugs and wishes for healing advice.

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I can offer the following article which does a good job of referencing many studies on astrology:

http://www.openthemagazine.com/article/living/the-scientific-case-against-astrology  

 

There was also an important study a few years ago that showed it is much harder to shake someone's belief than to change their knowledge.  So, once someone believes something, they tend to look for things that support that belief and disregard things that would contradict it.  Whereas when we learn something, we may have a fact  wrong.  If we are given corrected facts, we tend to be accepting of them.  Knowledge is not as strongly rooted in our sense of self as our beliefs are.

 

I don't care what people want to believe in as long as they do no harm to others and do not try to force others into their belief system. The Duggars beliefs infuriate me because I feel they have hurt their children.  However, other than a few requirements, they are allowed to raise their children as they see fit.  But I do feel sorry for the kids.  

 

As for astrology, usually, who cares?  Believe, don't believe, or be like a friend of mine who says she doesn't believe except that she thinks all Scorpio men are jerks (that's the PG version).  However, when another friend of mine was living off of disability, many astrologers and psychics helped take her last dollars.  We learned too late that she was living without heat because she couldn't afford it and she had been barely eating.  When she died at 58, malnutrition was a major contributing factor.  So they used their beliefs and hers to hasten her death.  Failed on the do no harm part.  That is when I get concerned.   

 

Totally agree. As long as people don't try to force others to live their way, or follow their beliefs, I'm fine too. I just don't like to see anyone, especially the uneducated, completely blow off things that no one can as of yet prove as right, or wrong. But's that's terrible about your friend. If I had had your experience, I wouldn't exactly have any warm and fuzzy for astrologers either. I've never spent a penny except for books - from actual bookstores, not the local zodiac tearoom. And from what I've read, genuine astrologers do not use it to predict future events and help people plan their lives. They use it as a tool to understanding relationships and behaviors.

Wellfleet, I always suspected you were from Mass based on your username.

 

Not to mention, those Wellfleet oysters which are, hands down, the best on the planet! 

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I posted once or twice on TWOP and got chastised for something I didn't understand so never posted again.

 

I got in trouble for "boards on boards," whatever the hell that is.  Still don't know.

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I think "boards on the boards" was talking about stuff that was happing in the forums on the forums. Like if I came over here and was all "can you believe the discussion people are having over in Michelle and JB thread!"

I was a twopper as well, but only ever posted in the thread with the pictures made to look like motivational posters.

 

editing to add: Astrology stuff - I'm a Sagittarius by just a few hours, would have been a Scorpio if my mother's labour hadn't stopped for 11 hours before starting up again, and if I'd been born on my due date, I would have been a Capricorn. But when I read all those "people with this star sign are like this" things, none of those seem to match me.

 

And while I'm not a believer in palmistry, I do find it weird that all my main lines - heart, life, whatever the third one is, all join up and meander off around the side of my hand.

Edited by kalamac
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I think boards on boards was meant to cover things like "I know some stupid people who have been hating since the crime-fighting neurosurgeon from 1843 took a job on a space freighter and started dating an immortal mighty warrior in the body of an actress who recently turned thirteen probably will probably whine about the animated pony episode, but I think they should just quit watching, because..." (the problem is, of course, the ellipses). IOW, have your say about the show, not what's wrong with the way somebody's watching it.

There were definitely mods who used it to make it look like they were working, though, and on some very tenuous grounds. Whoever thought not having any form of appeal wasn't going to turn into a very quiet case study on the irresponsible use of arbitrary power in closed communities probably should have given that some more thought.

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Maybe that was it. I think I thanked another poster for a link or something like that.

 

What?! That's crazy! I was sad when TWOP shut down, but upon remembering some of those stupid rules, good riddance TWOP!

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I live in North Texas

I used my coworkers as Guinea pigs for cake recipes.   Rum cake was the favorite.   I still mail a couple of cakes to the office as a holiday treat. 

 

Fruitcake is now my specialty.    I am liberal with the brandy. 

 

Mmmmm fruitcake!

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Growing up in Dallas, during the holidays I'd always accompany my aunts to the Collin Street Bakery for fruitcake.  I love it as well.  A very small slice with a cup of black coffee is perfect!

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I think "boards on the boards" was talking about stuff that was happing in the forums on the forums. Like if I came over here and was all "can you believe the discussion people are having over in Michelle and JB thread!"

I was a twopper as well, but only ever posted in the thread with the pictures made to look like motivational posters.

 

editing to add: Astrology stuff - I'm a Sagittarius by just a few hours, would have been a Scorpio if my mother's labour hadn't stopped for 11 hours before starting up again, and if I'd been born on my due date, I would have been a Capricorn. But when I read all those "people with this star sign are like this" things, none of those seem to match me.

 

And while I'm not a believer in palmistry, I do find it weird that all my main lines - heart, life, whatever the third one is, all join up and meander off around the side of my hand.

I've felt the same way, mostly. I wondered if I should've been whatever comes after Capricorn, because I was so premature I was born 2 lbs 8 oz. I do have some characteristics, such as loyalty, but ambitious(maybe), conservative(yes) determined(yes) practical(yes) helpful(double yes!) you know what? never mind, I guess I'm good. LOL!

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Ugh, not to pile on the medical issues bandwagon, but I just discovered a weird lump above my thyroid surgery scar. It's totally new and not normal and I have no idea how long it's been there (it wasn't there last week). I'm counting the hours until my ENT surgeon's office opens in the morning. I had my thyroid surgery almost two years ago and everything has been fine since then, so this kind of freaks me out.

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Ugh, not to pile on the medical issues bandwagon, but I just discovered a weird lump above my thyroid surgery scar. It's totally new and not normal and I have no idea how long it's been there (it wasn't there last week). I'm counting the hours until my ENT surgeon's office opens in the morning. I had my thyroid surgery almost two years ago and everything has been fine since then, so this kind of freaks me out.

I understand your nervousness, I would be too. But, hopefully it is something simple that can be taken care of without much fuss. I'll keep you in my prayers, sending positive thoughts your way :-)

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Growing up in Dallas, during the holidays I'd always accompany my aunts to the Collin Street Bakery for fruitcake.  I love it as well.  A very small slice with a cup of black coffee is perfect!

 

Oooh, I learned about that famous Collin Street Bakery through Martha Stewart's Weddings book in the late 80s. One of the grooms in the book is/was an owner of the bakery. Now we order one of their "Texas Blonde Pecan Cakes" every year for New Year's Day and it is absolutely in-credible. I want to try their fruitcake and cheesecake too. I've heard that even people who don't like fruitcake - at all - LOVE theirs...

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Ugh, not to pile on the medical issues bandwagon, but I just discovered a weird lump above my thyroid surgery scar. It's totally new and not normal and I have no idea how long it's been there (it wasn't there last week). I'm counting the hours until my ENT surgeon's office opens in the morning. I had my thyroid surgery almost two years ago and everything has been fine since then, so this kind of freaks me out.

. (((Hugs))) I hope the night goes fast and they tell you it's nothing serious.
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Aries, Twin Cities, but I have a kid in school in Western Mass, does that count?

 

Scorpio here.  Texas, but I've always WANTED to go Massachusetts.  Really.  In the fall preferably.  (Of course, as a fan of Wings I'd like to visit Nantucket and run into Joe, Brian, Helen and the rest of the gang! I like to believe they exist in the world.)

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Thanks, everyone! I had a restless night but I have an appointment with my ENT surgeon next Tuesday (and I'm on the cancellation list). I'm pretty sure it's not scar tissue as it popped out quite suddenly and now I have slight pressure in my neck like I have a lump in my throat. It's an acorn sized lump right in the hollow of my throat and it's visible now on the outside of my neck. I'm hoping it's something like a cyst or hematoma that can be drained, but I have a feeling I'm in for another ultrasound and needle biopsy. Nothing I haven't done before though!

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I am really struggling here today. Where I live, two days ago they sent out an Amber alert for a two year old girl.

That in itself, was bad enough, until that news was followed by the fact her father was found dead in the home she was taken from.

Then, last night, they found her remains and shared that the suspect arrested, was a boyfriend of the mother's.

This has honestly torn the wind from my lungs.

I know a lot of you are close in age to me...is this an aging thing?

This feeling everything so deeply now?

Is it hormonal?

Or is it simply that the older I get, the less I understand?

Apologies, if this is too depressing a topic. I need to get it out.

Edited by MarysWetBar
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Emma, I hope with all my heart (and praying too!) that it's nothing. But...if you're wearing a lump that doesn't belong there, it's SOMETHING until it's declared nothing!

BY THE WAY: I like to think my screen name is self explanatory. (Snort!). On my private email (the one I'd have a heart attack if a piece of spam ever slipped into), I use "fbg" and my birthdate backwards for my user name. Fbg is for the queen song Fat Bottomed Girls. I definitely have a fanny pack!!!

ETA: Maryswetbar, yes, it must be age related. I'm mid 50's and THINGS get stuck in my heart/heart and I stew over them for DAYS. Or maybe it's because we lived through 9/11. I've pretty much been easily horrified ever since being glued to the TV for days and days after that. I'm basically a take-charge person in my bones (can't help it), and I always want to scream "SOMEBODY, ANYBODY...DOOOOOOO SOMETHING!!!!". Remember when that dad blew up his kids with the social worker trying to get in a few years back? That drove me crazy!! I do believe we feel things much differently as we get aging experience under our belts.

Edited by Happyfatchick
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Assorted items:

 

Aww, am I the only one who found Howard sort of amusing? I had a very clear mental image of "him" (tall, gangly, dark, messy hair, nerd glasses) and was quite discombobulated when I found out he was a she. I never had a warning, largely because I don't post very much, so maybe that's why I was so entertained by "his" anal retentive husbandry of the boards. I mean, she would edit a post to add a freaking period! It was awesome. And she loved to edit for "tone". You keep your snark POLITE, you damned dirty apes. I wonder where Howard ended up.

 

My username has been around since TWoP and refers to a nickname for one of my kids. We go through a lot of nicknames in our family but "Squid" stuck around for a long time.

 

My mom used to make a huge batch of fruitcake every Christmas and distribute it among various branches of the family. I could take it or leave it. She insisted on baking fruitcake for our wedding and having it professionally decorated. We kept it in the freezer for years and eventually threw it out. I wonder if anyone actually ate any of it at the wedding. I don't think I did.

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I know a lot of you are close in age to me...is this an aging thing?

This feeling everything so deeply now?

Is it hormonal?

Or is it simply that the older I get, the less I understand?

Apologies, if this is too depressing a topic. I need to get it out.

 

HFC - that tragedy with the little boys happened in the next subdivision over from where my son and his family live. Talk about long lasting shock.

As I age, more things bother me on a gut level than they used to.

 

I think it sounds like you're having a perfectly appropriate reaction to something like that, fwiw.

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Scorpio here. Texas, but I've always WANTED to go Massachusetts. Really. In the fall preferably. (Of course, as a fan of Wings I'd like to visit Nantucket and run into Joe, Brian, Helen and the rest of the gang! I like to believe they exist in the world.)

You should visit Mass. in the Fall. It's a very magical time of the year. Apple picking, apple cider, pumpkin picking, pumpkin-spice flavored everything, hayrides, etc. So much fun.

I was actually born in Texas but as a child, I moved to Mass. because my parents divorced and my Mom is a native of Mass and all of her extended family lives here. I've had the experience of living in both worlds (South vs. North) and I love New England.

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I think as we get older we become more in tune with our sense of mortality. So it sticks more in our heads when we hear about the death of someone so young who hadn't even had a chance to live yet. Especially when the death is so violent or horrible.

 

I remember hearing about the murder of Nick Markowitz when it happened. Nick was my age and back then I thought, "Oh, that's horrible, poor guy." But now I read about it again and I'm struck by just how young he was. He was only fifteen! And I think about how we were once the same age, born the same year, but I was allowed to get older and he wasn't. It's just depressing.

 

I'm also at that point in my life where a lot of my friends' parents are dying and it makes me terrified about losing my own. 

Edited by galax-arena
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Even my husband knows of TWOP Howard from my bitching to him about her. DH thought I should pen an expletive ridden posting to TWOP Howard before my final sign off from TWOP. That's not my typical style, but I notice a few of our fellow posters were comfortable doing so. I lived vicariously through them! I wonder where she's at now. Hellooo! TWOP Howard, you out there?

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Even my husband knows of TWOP Howard from my bitching to him about her. DH thought I should pen an expletive ridden posting to TWOP Howard before my final sign off from TWOP. That's not my typical style, but I notice a few of our fellow posters were comfortable doing so. I lived vicariously through them! I wonder where she's at now. Hellooo! TWOP Howard, you out there?

TWOP Howard was a man. I found his picture on a website. His former screen name was Orion (?) before he became a modertor. His real name is Gary. All I remember from him is that he graduated WITH DISTINCTION. Yes, he seems like every bit of the blow hard he is.

Edited by Joe Jitsu913
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TWOP Howard was a man. I found his picture on website. His former screen name was Orion (?) before he became a modertor. His real name is Gary. All I remember from him is that he graduated WITH DISTINCTION. Yes, he seems like every bit of the blow hard he is.

Well, that's interesting! I'm pretty sure he/she claimed to be female towards the end of TWoP. Maybe he just liked to mess with us.

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TWOP Howard was a man. I found his picture on website. His former screen name was Orion (?) before he became a modertor. His real name is Gary. All I remember from him is that he graduated WITH DISTINCTION. Yes, he seems like every bit of the blow hard he is.

 

Really? Wow! I don't know how I got the impression he was a she! Interesting. 

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I know a lot of you are close in age to me...is this an aging thing?

This feeling everything so deeply now?

Is it hormonal?

Or is it simply that the older I get, the less I understand?

Apologies, if this is too depressing a topic. I need to get it out.

I think if more people felt like this, the world would be in a much better place because we wouldn't tolerate the horrible things that seem commonplace now. I hardly watch the news on tv anymore, it's just overwhelming and negative and depressing. 

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I am really struggling here today. Where I live, two days ago they sent out an Amber alert for a two year old girl.

That in itself, was bad enough, until that news was followed by the fact her father was found dead in the home she was taken from.

Then, last night, they found her remains and shared that the suspect arrested, was a boyfriend of the mother's.

This has honestly torn the wind from my lungs.

I know a lot of you are close in age to me...is this an aging thing?

This feeling everything so deeply now?

Is it hormonal?

Or is it simply that the older I get, the less I understand?

Apologies, if this is too depressing a topic. I need to get it out.

We got the same alert in Montana Monday afternoon. I was watching Murder She Wrote last night when it was announced the alert was canceled. I checked a local television website last night to see what happened. I almost started crying when I read they found her body. I become sad when I read the news. I have to stop myself from crying when I see a dead animal in or near the road, or I see ads for missing pets. I also get mad or angry when I read or hear certain stories. I do like to tell the newspaper or television what I think on certain things.

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Really? Wow! I don't know how I got the impression he was a she! Interesting.

He allegedly posted under the screen name of Orion7. There is an old web page by some guy that also used the name Orion7. I actually have a link, but I'm not sure if I would be allowed to post it here. Some posters made the link between this page and TWOP Howard.

Anyway, he posted as Orion7 but then changed to TWOP Howard when he became a mod. I think a lot of people assumed Howard was a female based on his avatar. If you do some digging, you'll find some info on him.

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Even my husband knows of TWOP Howard from my bitching to him about her. DH thought I should pen an expletive ridden posting to TWOP Howard before my final sign off from TWOP.

 

I don't  think any of the other TWOP moderators were as mean and nasty as Miss Alli.  I hated her with a passion.  She temporarily banned me twice.  The first for starting a post with "Duh" and the second time for telling a poster, "We heard you the first six times."  I was so happy when she left that I went out and got drunk and I don't ordinarily drink. 

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This has nothing to do with the price of tea in China but just a general observation. I've lived several reincarnations in my own short life. I was the good irish Catholic girl, the crazy college student, the young professional, the fiancée converting to Judism , the ex fiancé dabbling in .buddhism, the grad student, the girlfriend of the much older man, ex girlfriend of much older man, the Yankee, etc. I have had so many experiences ( some amazing and some down traumatizing) and been so many different people over the course of my 50 years it makes me so sad that the Duggar kids are pigeon holed by the time they are 17. Then add a bunch of young children to the mix and any chance for a different life is pretty much over. I did not adopt my daughter until I was 39 years old. I had done everything I wanted to do seen everything I wanted to see and could focus on my daughter 100 percent. It pains me to see these young kids pushed into the adult world so soon. Eventually the adult world catches up with all of us ( hello mortgage payments and 401ks) but live a little first. When .i was diagnosed with breast cancer my only worry was that I couldn't leave my daughter. I felt like loosing two mothers was just more than she should have to bare but other than that I had no regrets I felt like I had really lived a full and interesting life.

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Ok.  I'm at work and bored so I googled "TWOP Howard".   The third selection was "TWOP Howard douche"!!!  LOL!  Poor TWOP Howard!  Imagine being having "douche" associated with your name on google!  And I don't even think the TWOP moderators got paid, did they?  He/she volunteered to be a douche.  Who does that on purpose?  Anyway, I got warned at the old TWOP on the Duggar Boards.  People were posting that perhaps Jim Bob was a pedophile, I questioned "why someone would accuse someone of that from just watching a tv show".....  I guess my tone was accusatory, against the rules and I was sternly warned.  But, excuse me, I implied that some posters were being cruel and got banned.  People were saying JB was a pedophile and that's ok?  But, you couldn't argue and for all I know they had warned the others as well.  I enjoyed reading the posts more than the stress of writing them (and rereading them, and wondering if it was board on boards, and did I state an opinion or imply it was my opinion, and maybe infer that I was an expert, and use a semi colon instead of a colon............) so I just stopped posting.

 

The mods here do a great job.  They keep everyone in line, but allow discussions.  I haven't been warned yet............I hope not to ever be......

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editing to add: Astrology stuff - I'm a Sagittarius by just a few hours, would have been a Scorpio if my mother's labour hadn't stopped for 11 hours before starting up again, and if I'd been born on my due date, I would have been a Capricorn. But when I read all those "people with this star sign are like this" things, none of those seem to match me.

 

Kalamac, that means like me you were born on the cusp. I missed Scorpio by 10 mins.   :)  My horoscope never matches up either. 

 

Cyber hugs again to everyone who needs healing. 

 

At TWOP I was lucky I never got warned by the mods, but like here, I never posted much.

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We're so glad that you all love this forum and created this lovely and supportive community, but can we move past the TWOPHoward/bad TWoP mods stuff? It's starting to get a little...uncomfortable in here. And, no, none of us is TWoP Howard. It's just...it happened, it's in the past, let's not dwell on it? Thanks!

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Bah, you're all hitting me in the feels today. And honestly I think it is the peri-menopause in my case that has me more emotional than usual, but it might just be age. I keep hoping that when it finally settles, I will too. (I'm so ready to be done. I had my kids in my very late twenties, and now they're entering their twenties. Really, I don't need to have any more periods.)

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Emma, I hope with all my heart (and praying too!) that it's nothing. But...if you're wearing a lump that doesn't belong there, it's SOMETHING until it's declared nothing!

BY THE WAY: I like to think my screen name is self explanatory. (Snort!). On my private email (the one I'd have a heart attack if a piece of spam ever slipped into), I use "fbg" and my birthdate backwards for my user name. Fbg is for the queen song Fat Bottomed Girls. I definitely have a fanny pack!!!

ETA: Maryswetbar, yes, it must be age related. I'm mid 50's and THINGS get stuck in my heart/heart and I stew over them for DAYS. Or maybe it's because we lived through 9/11. I've pretty much been easily horrified ever since being glued to the TV for days and days after that. I'm basically a take-charge person in my bones (can't help it), and I always want to scream "SOMEBODY, ANYBODY...DOOOOOOO SOMETHING!!!!". Remember when that dad blew up his kids with the social worker trying to get in a few years back? That drove me crazy!! I do believe we feel things much differently as we get aging experience under our belts.

I absolutely feel the same as you. When i heard similar news in the car i fought hard to regain my emotions. I couldnt see for my tears and i didnt want to cause an accident.

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Amber alerts are the worst.  When they rarely come across my phone I freeze.

 

Last week locally, a family of five was found dead in their multi-million dollar home.  School started on Tuesday and the kids hadn't shown up so the police were sent out on Thursday to do a welfare check and they found the grisly scene.  It really shook me up, the high school they attended was my daughter's boyfriend's alma mater - too close.  Clearly, money doesn't buy happiness.  It was a multiple murder suicide. :(

Edited by NextIteration
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This is he last post we've seen (FB) from my SIL. Posted Tuesday:

"Being in the middle of God's will for your life doesn't mean you will have everything you think you need or that you will do what others think you will do, but the beauty of complete surrender to Christ is so overwhelming that everything around you seems to fade away".

That was Tuesday. Complete and utter dead silence since then.

I'm desperately trying to be a big girl, and accept that these are two adults... But J.H.C!!!! the longer the silence goes, the higher my anxiety. My nerves are pinging off the walls. What is probably a totally innocuous benign message seems more ominous every day.

We were passing around a bottle of Xanax the other day. Who's got that? Can I have some???

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HFC, got xanax.  I'll toss some from the road on my next trip by. Maybe he just means wifi, tv, etc. and that there are expectations for him there.  Maybe a process.  Let's hope it is just him being cryptic.  Your daughter knows how to reach you, right?  And no authorities have been in touch.  So that's good.

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HFC- this has got to be so hard for you. Besides the virtual pharmaceuticals, think positive & don't forget about the new baby coming in your family. I know, easier said than done but we're here for you.

On a lighter note, I love the Fat Bottom Girls song. Maybe cuz i have the "fanny pack" to go along with it, too.

Whoever mentioned Nantucket in their posts - I've been reading Elin Hilderbrand's books which are set in Nantucket. I've read just about all of them & have switched to Nancy Thayer's books, some of which are set in Nantucket. Sometimes I wish I could jump on the ferry & stay for a visit. They are nice Beach reads type of books & let me escape for a while.

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