S13.E10: Locked Out

[Jax7917]

What’s with this talk of Ryan wanting models ? Has he seen himself ? He’s creepy looking .

He seemed into her at first but I think all the guys this season are extreme commitment phobes. The guys are the issue this season . 

Jose is a narcissistic asshole. I’d run for the hills too . 
 

 

[greeneyedscorpio]

6 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

What’s with this talk of Ryan wanting models ? Has he seen himself ? He’s creepy looking .

He seemed into her at first but I think all the guys this season are extreme commitment phobes. The guys are the issue this season . 

Jose is a narcissistic asshole. I’d run for the hills too . 
 

 

I don't think Gil is a problem.  He's been a gem to put up with Myrla.  Yeah, he teases her, but that seems to be the dynamic in their relationship.  

Zach is immature and needs time to grow up, but I don't see him as a commitment phobe.  He just doesn't want a commitment with Hurricane Kay

[kristen111]

7 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

It does. I've been Brett a number of times and it sucks.

Also hypocritical. He's all about taking care of his family; he walks around wearing a giant cross around his neck. I don't remember Jesus locking anyone out of the house for calling him Joseph. Zack and Ryan totally called him out on Unfiltered though - where Jose was still trying to wriggle out of his bad behavior.

Jose is toast with everyone.  He’s branded.

[Blissfool]

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I'm not so sure.   I'm with @Blissfool, who thinks they're becoming a cute couple.  Maybe it's just editing, but they have very nice moments together.  Like when she was looking at pictures of her shoes on her phone and she asked his opinion on a pair and he said they were okay or whatever, and she said something like, "Come on.  They're fire." 

I liked the part where they were with Viviana. Gil has his arm on the backrest behind Myrla and she was touching his hand, massaging his fingers.

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Oh, I can see the benefit of taking a sledgehammer to a bunch of shit (I feel like I need a cigarette after watching the scene with the copier in Office Space).  And when they said Michaela wasn't there, I thought, "Michaela's the one who needs to be there."

Michaela doesn't need a producer-assigned activity to smash things. 

 

 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I think he was aware, but having her not come home until 3:00 a.m. made him sound better than having her come home not long after she went out with the producer (presumably at about 1:00 a.m.)   

I thought he was also trying to make it sound like Rachel could possibly have been out with another man or partying...

Quote

I can see the benefit of taking a sledgehammer to a bunch of shit

I do too. 

I have spent a bunch of time lately navigating strategies for teen mental health issues and one of the suggestions for kids to work out their anger is to throw water balloons on the ground or at a tree. Breaking something is actually a good stress releaser as long as you do it safely. We thought about buying a bunch of cheap dishes from Goodwill and throwing them on the back patio but were afraid we wouldn't clean up the sharp pieces enough that our dogs would be safe out there. But it was tempting...

Also - Bao went to town! I'll bet they were all sore the next day except Myrla - that sledgehammer was heavy!

Edited September 23, 2021 by Elizzikra

[glitterpussy]

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Ah, but watching Michaela's facial expressions is telling me that she is FOS and putting on her best possible behavior to reel him back in.  Only it's not working because Zach is perceptive enough and has enough experience with women like this to know this and know that it's an act.  That's why he won't let it go.

I think this is the correct take. We've already seen how good she is at manipulating situations to make herself look good (lying to the other wives, faking it at the housewarming, etc.). I think she did/said a lot worse that what we saw too.

I think it would be better for Zach to say this though, instead of trying to be  the "nice guy" and holding it in so much that he made himself have a freaking breakdown!

Jose is absolutely disgusting and the guys taking him down was A +++++! He's not even a good liar! What a loser. He's so ready to fly off the handle. Repressed anger at not being able to express his sexuality, probably.

Bao has a lot of childhood trauma issues.

Ryan is a committmentphobe who has convinced himself he isn't. Nothing and no one will be perfect enough for him. I will give him the tiniest credit for not just telling Brett that she isn't pretty or thin enough.

[glitterpussy]

7 hours ago, ByTor said:

7 hours ago, Lindz said:

Zack: There have been no mess ups. There have been no mistakes. You did nothing wrong.

Also Zack: You are your bad behavior.

WHAAAAT THE EFF IS HE SAYING?!! Make it make sense!!!

He's saying her behavior isn't a mistake, it's who she is. If it were a mistake or having done something wrong, it can be fixed; he's saying it's ingrained in her and cannot be fixed.

Yes--my interpretation of this tortured convo was that Zach thinks this is who she is and it will never change, and he was trying SO HARD to avoid saying that "who she is" is "wrong."

Whereas Micheala and Viv were saying that it's  just a behavior she does and yes it's wrong, but it can be changed. He's not falling for all that. He's just scared to say so😂

[TzuShih]

20 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

20 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

'Ryan is funny.  "She called you Johnny."

Yes, Ryan!  Your dead-pan humor always nails it! 😆 I'd be howling 24/7.

Alas, I never aimed for that "Dallas Cowgirl's look," (is that your 'type??'), so I'd probably have been discarded on a first blind date.  Brett is such a lovely, classy, intelligent lady.   Your loss, Ryan, if your "type" rules out unique women like Brett.  🤔 You two remind me of the '80s song:  Friends and Lovers.  Thoughtful lyrics...

 

 

[Kira53]

18 hours ago, Racj82 said:

We've already heard the issue many times. He's dated a bunch of hot tempered women before. Once she showed her temper early on  he was done. He just won't say it. He may be a little bit too hysterical about it but if he is indeed identifying behavior he is not comfortable with, I respect him wanting none of it. 

He already had experienced so of it.   Maybe production sent her home risking the entire airplane that she was on because she had already shown herself to be a potential problem on sat if they were trying to keep her separate from her new husband who she would feel entitled to do whatever she wanted to. A lot of people have questioned why they sent her home maybe she showed a lot of crazy and irrational behavior about Covid restrictions at the hotel.

15 hours ago, shok said:

Seems to me like Zack wants to rewatch it over and over and over again. He just won't let it go. Michaela has sincerely discussed it and apologized to him repeatedly but he's going to make her pay for it for the rest of her life. Yes, she behaved badly but at some point he has to let it go and get on with life. Zack is the guy with the obvious problem, not her.

I think we don’t know what the interaction was between them over the phone during the time of separation from Covid.  I get the  feeling that Michaela showed a bit more of her irrational self and borderline self during those phone conversations. He was Probably pretty wary by the time they got together again physically. The nondisclosure agreement will probably never give us the full information about those conversations.

[buttersister]

Quote

He was honest ( but incoherent) about it in front of and after talking to the ‘expert’.  

'Expert' indeed. Also, I'm late to the Jamie Otis wrap party (didn't see her season and haven't watched much of Unfiltered), but damn, she's awful.

Zack--it's a shame he isn't more articulate, but on this show, not sure if it would help. He's got history with the unbalanced, so he's got Mikaela's number and wants it deleted from his life. He's also a bit of a case, what with the urgent urgency to being married by a certain age. But from her inappropriate reaction to his COVID to her M-Fing to her hypocrisy (I'd never leave/bye), he's out. 

[Jax7917]

2 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I don't think Gil is a problem.  He's been a gem to put up with Myrla.  Yeah, he teases her, but that seems to be the dynamic in their relationship.  

Zach is immature and needs time to grow up, but I don't see him as a commitment phobe.  He just doesn't want a commitment with Hurricane Kay

Gil is the only guy who is actually making an effort and is trying to find reasons to stay rather than reasons to run . 
 

Disagree about Zack . I think he thinks he’s perfect and that all the girls are the problem ( as he’s stated ,) .. and I’m sure he gets a lot of girls , but he can’t handle commitment . Yes , Michaela was wrong in the first fight but Zack is harping on it and he’s playing the game pretending to try to make things work  , but he’s as good as gone . I didn’t like how he told her they were gonna have a movie night then just decided he wasn’t gonna show up . I don’t think he’s ready for commitment and I think he’d find an issue with anyone and then run . 

[LennieBriscoe]

9 hours ago, ByTor said:

He's saying her behavior isn't a mistake, it's who she is. If it were a mistake or having done something wrong, it can be fixed; he's saying it's ingrained in her and cannot be fixed.

And there go the entire fields of psychology, psychiatry, behavioral therapy,.....

[Lindz]

Did Rachel seriously call him Johnny?!!?!!! That's HILARIOUS!!! 😂😂😂😂 Now I'm wondering if it was an accident or a joke. Either way, it didn't warrant his response to it. Totally inappropriate. & for him to think that was okay is deeply unsettling. I'm glad he made it easy for her to quit by not apologizing. That truly was a GIFT. I hope she never looks back.

[Blissfool]

27 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

Disagree about Zack . I think he thinks he’s perfect and that all the girls are the problem 

Well that's what his momma always told him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lol...just speculation 😉

Edited September 24, 2021 by Blissfool

[TheBride]

I watched Jose's explosion in the club house and the subsequent exchanges. He's most definitely a controlling, emotional abuser. I hope they keep an eye on him and stop him from that abusive behavior. Yuck, I hope she rejects him and asks for a divorce.

[CSunshine76]

F you Jose. And your whiteboard budget, and your controlling, no vacationing self. Enjoy single life in suburban Houston, asshole!

Edited September 24, 2021 by CSunshine76

[Elizzikra]

44 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

And there go the entire fields of psychology, psychiatry, behavioral therapy,.....

Except that Michaela hasn't had any of that. She is claiming that she can learn to react in a way that Zach is comfortable with just by getting to know him and learning to behave in a way he prefers. I don't think she can and actually, I don't think she should. I think she has a terrible temper but she needs to work on it in therapy before she embarks on a serious relationship with anyone. The situation wasn't a breakdown in her communication style; it was an example of her hair trigger temper, her insecurity and her impulsiveness.

[Alexander Pope]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I am convinced now that José was looking for a reason to sabotage their relationship.  If those two things didn't happen he would latch onto some other perceived fault.  This "other man" stuff sets him off because it feeds into his insecurity.  Nothing she could say or do afterward would help.  He is making mountains out of molehills, something Johnny was doing but seems to have stopped.  He is scared to death that this might work out and he has to find some reason to bail.  He woke up after the honeymoon and thought to himself that things were too perfect, that she must be some kind of monster deep down.  So he was just waiting for something to "prove" it.  Then he could reject her before he thinks she is going to reject him.  I mean, he's that insecure that he's convinced that she is going to reject him.  So he MAKES it happen!

Meanwhile it doesn't even matter to him that the cheating thing was a long time ago.  If it meant anything she never would have admitted it so casually.  Her honesty should have shown him that it was not who she is today.  But I am sure that nothing she could say to convince him of that would work because he's holding a hammer and looking for a nail.

Same thing for Rachel saying "Johnny".  First of all, she could have been thinking of Johnny from the show.  Does José even know if she ever had any relationship with a guy with that name?  I could see being a little curious and quizzical about it but to fly off in such an ugly, abusive manner shows that he's hiding a lot of anger and insecurity that is not about Rachel at all.  And to get upset with her for not bringing up how she finds him controlling (which he is) is another tactic to try to make this all about her and not him.  He is not willing to take any responsibility for any of this.  What a total asshole he has turned out to be!  And I'm sorry but if he suddenly wakes up I would be very skeptical about accepting any sort of apology if I were Rachel.  Again, leopards don't change their spots that easily.

This times 1000!  I also found it very significant that the whole time she was trying to talk to him, he was not just smirking but also cooking himself and then eating a delicious and extremely luxurious dinner with the obvious purpose of not sharing!! I doubt he eats steak and lobster every day! he did that to taunt her.  What a douche. 

Edited September 24, 2021 by Alexander Pope
edited upon further thought

[Lindz]

On 9/22/2021 at 6:59 PM, Jax7917 said:

He gets turned off by the girl at the first sign of an argument and just uses it as an excuse to run.

Nah. It's the crazy behavior. Rightfully so. If she handled it in a reasonable, calm manner, he'd be fine. Although, he's shown he doesn't stay calm & yells so he needs to correct that. No one said he's perfect. He didn't claim to be perfect, in fact, he was trying too hard to be diplomatic & say neither is right or wrong, which is false. Her outrageous behavior is WRONG. His yelling is wrong. He said she is handling issues better so far. He's just waiting for her to overreact again & he can't deal with that.

[Rambunctiouscurls]

6 hours ago, Blissfool said:

Michaela doesn't need a producer-assigned activity to smash things. 

 

 

😂 Too Right. She definitely needs different coping methods. 
 

Regarding José and Rachel, I had assumed she called him Jesus as that is what I have been calling him. Such an easy name to get wrong because it’s so common.

I thought Mikaela was unhinged but then Jose said “Hold my beer” 

Edited September 24, 2021 by Rambunctiouscurls

[Lindz]

20 hours ago, ByTor said:

I think that had a lot to do with what got him so emotional, not only frustration with her behavior but frustration with some people believing the incidents are his fault.

His actions "hurt" her. They were honest mistakes, nbd. Her reactions were wholly inappropriate and he's too scared to say he's done because of it. He's upset because he's torn between wanting to be married & knowing he can't have that with someone who reacts crazily. That breakdown was him basically saying he can't be married to her because her craziness is a dealbreaker.

[Lindz]

12 hours ago, ByTor said:

Ridiculously dumb, I had no idea what the hell he was talking about there.

It sounded like the rest of what he was saying is he didn't want to apologize & say it wouldn't happen again because that'd be lying, he'd keep doing that ish. 😬

[LennieBriscoe]

14 hours ago, Lindz said:

 Bahaha. Myrla thinks a kiss will keep Gil from requesting a divorce. Watch him say, "I meant more than a peck." 😂😂

To which Myrla will reply, "You'll always have Hype."

[Lindz]

10 hours ago, suzeecat said:

I feel bad for Rachel if she goes back to him.

Let's hope she doesn't go back & actually meant it when she said she couldn't be his wife. I'm doubtful since she went back, due to producer shenanigans, to continue the convo after saying that.

[LennieBriscoe]

12 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Ryan is trying to be as kind as he can.  I think it's less about the physical attraction though and more about how she annoys him. She's not on the screen that much and I find her annoying -- I think she's the type that always wants to talk about feelings to the point she gets the "You're a great girl, but..."  It's easier to say "not my type" than "her personality grates."  You can become physically attracted to someone after you get to know them, but if the personality is irritating to you, you're not likely to grow with that person.

On Zack, if I had COVID-19 and my new bride was pissed b/c I quarantined, then lost her fucking mind when I texted about where I went, I'd be one and done too.  He may be emotionally stunted, but her nickname is Hurricane and she's shown that if she is earned her nickname, is still living up to it and therefore, she is not learning.  He should be out.  

 

The entire show, from application to D-Day, is about "feelings" and discussions of same. Maybe "annoying" Brett is simply trying to fill in the silence emanating from Dead Man Walking Ryan.

Brett "annoys" you? Well, Ryan has p****d  me off ever since he decided he would make his just-met bride feel uncomfortable by pushing her to try some stupid Country dance at their reception instead of the....wait for it.....traditional slow First Dance. 

He was turned off by her fear of flying? Too bad about him. It's not exactly a minor phobia (it's why, e.g., Aretha Franklin never toured Europe). 

These men really think they're something, don't they? Affectless Ryan. Jittery, inarticulate Zack. Napoleon Complex, rigid Jose. Hentai-brained skinny Johnny. And Gil, who, I suspect, thinks he's a better catch than he is. 

Five husbands. Two left to "take a break" from their wives. A third man kicked and locked out his spouse. Another won't look at, converse at length with (including paddling in separate kayaks), or compliment his bride. That leaves Gil.

Even Meatloaf might concede that 1 out of 5 is bad. 

[LennieBriscoe]

4 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Except that Michaela hasn't had any of that. She is claiming that she can learn to react in a way that Zach is comfortable with just by getting to know him and learning to behave in a way he prefers. I don't think she can and actually, I don't think she should. I think she has a terrible temper but she needs to work on it in therapy before she embarks on a serious relationship with anyone. The situation wasn't a breakdown in her communication style; it was an example of her hair trigger temper, her insecurity and her impulsiveness.

I was responding to a comment that Zack thinks "in-grained behavior" "cannot be fixed." Still using his perspective. 

[Lindz]

WHAT was Zack and Michaela's activity? Were they excluded because they're so far behind? 🤔They're probably having sex again.

Bao & Johnny did TOO MUCH on camera & the producers showed TOO MUCH!! BLEH! 😬😵 

[Lindz]

Here's what José said:

Well you didn't (apologize) well enough, clearly. (When Rachel asked if she apologized for calling him the wrong name)

When Rachel said NOBODY talks to her like that (his profanity-laced rant about them being married), he responded, "Then F you! Get the F out! Get the F out! Pack your bags, bounce! Alright, effin go. Do you want me to pull (my ring) off & just throw it at you now?" & Rachel asks who she's married to & he responds he has stuff to do tomorrow & doesn't have time to sit there & effin talk or whatever & tells her to get out & go. 

Truly sickening. Throw his ring AT HER?!?!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FVCK?! Whenever she questions his response he deflects or curses her out. The punk! She should've left & never spoke to him again. Did she really intend on sleeping in the same bed as him that night??WHY does he think that stuff's okay to say?!!! Same for Michaela. WHY do they think that's okay? WTF is WRONG with these people??!! OUTRAGEOUS! (in my Judge Judy voice)

Edited September 24, 2021 by Lindz

[endure]

On 9/22/2021 at 5:47 PM, kristen111 said:

Zack doesn’t want the marriage or her.  He feels trapped.  Ryan isn’t feeling it with Brett and won’t.  I don’t believe in this.  There has to be love before marriage.  The ones that did make it are a fluke.  Getting married before knowing each other is going backwards, IMO.

I kind of think so too, the ones that do make it on MAFS are like placebo effect….but maybe it’s OK….. I do get how difficult it is nowadays to meet, fall in love and actually make that marriage commitment for many.

Zack needs to grow up he acts like he’s two.  And Brett thinks he’s a way better catch than he is IMHO.

[ByTor]

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

The situation wasn't a breakdown in her communication style; it was an example of her hair trigger temper, her insecurity and her impulsiveness.

Exactly, which is why her reaction, per Zack, wasn't a "mistake," it was intentional.

5 hours ago, Lindz said:

It sounded like the rest of what he was saying is he didn't want to apologize & say it wouldn't happen again because that'd be lying, he'd keep doing that ish. 😬

Well, at least he's honest about his jackassery 😂

2 hours ago, Lindz said:

When Rachel said NOBODY talks to her like that (his profanity-laced rant about them being married), he responded, "Then F you! Get the F out! Get the F out! Pack your bags, bounce! Alright, effin go. Do you want me to pull (my ring) off & just throw it at you now?" & Rachel asks who she's married to & he responds he has stuff to do tomorrow & doesn't have time to sit there & effin talk or whatever & tells her to get out & go.

And then golfing the next day...she called me the wrong name & just left. 😡

[b2H]

On 9/22/2021 at 9:51 PM, mythoughtis said:

He spoke to her that way in front of a producer too.  According to his own comments, Rachel called him the wrong name while they  were at the clubhouse relaxing… which implies a public place and not during sex. It’s not great that it happened…. But these two have known each other 4 weeks… she dated her ex 8 years.  
as a mom …. I’ve called my  children by another child’s name.    It’s not the end of the world.  

Heck, I have been known to go through every name in the household before getting to the one I need.  It is hereditary- my mom and grandmother always did this.

[Mr. Miner]

15 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

agree with the poster upthread who mentioned that a tantric sex class for someone who isn't feeling attraction to his partner may not be the best move. 

There's that, and that little problem with, you know, the instructor's nut sack hanging out.

[Gator Stud]

On 9/23/2021 at 1:32 AM, shok said:

Seems to me like Zack wants to rewatch it over and over and over again. He just won't let it go. Michaela has sincerely discussed it and apologized to him repeatedly but he's going to make her pay for it for the rest of her life. Yes, she behaved badly but at some point he has to let it go and get on with life. Zack is the guy with the obvious problem, not her.

Zack DOESNT have to let it go. She should be happy that she didnt have the booger in her nose while she was with Zack.  Most men would be done just because of that.  The producers should have edited that out.  Why should Zack put up with a crossfire hurricane.  I wouldnt.  The first time she called me a godamn  motherfucking liar, I would be out.  I dont tolerate being treated that way.  Nobody should.  She needs to see a shrink to show her how to control her emotions.

[Lindz]

Michaela calling mistakes, misunderstandings, or miscommunication "infractions" is problematic. No wonder they're hard to overcome, calling them that. 😅 Term & attitude adjustment needed, along with therapy. 😂

Edited September 24, 2021 by Lindz

[Lindz]

Rachel's letter was pretty lame. WHAT was she waiting for? Sounds like she was saving it for when she was going to ask for a divorce. 😅 She should've known he'd use it as a deflection. WHY do they make themselves the bad one with their ridiculous reactions? The crazy club has 2 members, let's hope no more join. 😅 I want the 2 crazies to meet up and try to out crazy each other. 😂😂

[Lindz]

Brett is classic over-investment CLASSIC! That jenga tower of compliments was way too much for a guy who is barely into her. She needs to pull wayyyy back & play it cool. I think her high anxiety turned him off.

[Gator Stud]

17 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Maybe now he can tell his family:  "I tried to be married, it doesn't work so now I'm going to be a confirmed bachelor all my life..."  

This 100%. What an asshole.  He is deeply insecure.  Thats why he shows people his stupid fucking whiteboard.  Aint nobody impressed by that.   Nobody is impressed with him owning two housed in Pearland either. 

Brett has got to stop this pity party thing. Its not attractive.  It made me forget about her breasts. Ryan seem repulsed and dead inside.  I think he wanted a workout girl.  I think if Brett worked out with him she might have a chance.  Her voice is very scratchy and semi-masculine. She is attractive though. Not with her hair up.

[Boo Boo]

2 hours ago, Lindz said:

Brett is classic over-investment CLASSIC! That jenga tower of compliments was way too much for a guy who is barely into her. She needs to pull wayyyy back & play it cool. I think her high anxiety turned him off.

RIGHT!

I did wonder if this is producer-driven TV but why wouldn't they make him do that as well?  Unless it's to create the desperate woman reads everything into take it or leave it spouse?  

2 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Zack DOESNT have to let it go. She should be happy that she didnt have the booger in her nose while she was with Zack.  Most men would be done just because of that.  The producers should have edited that out.  Why should Zack put up with a crossfire hurricane.  I wouldnt.  The first time she called me a godamn  motherfucking liar, I would be out.  I dont tolerate being treated that way.  Nobody should.  She needs to see a shrink to show her how to control her emotions.

YES.

I don't understand the sympathy towards Michaela here and other forums.

My God she's so volatile that her maid of honor called her "hurricane."  You don't get a name like that unless you live up to it.

If what, a week into the marriage she's exploding, there's an issue WITH HER.

I would imagine that if the gender roles were reversed, no one would be blaming the victim here.

[Auntie Anxiety]

 

3 hours ago, Lindz said:

Michaela calling mistakes, misunderstandings, or miscommunication "infractions" is problematic. No wonder they're hard to overcome, calling them that. 😅 Term & attitude adjustment needed, along with therapy. 😂

Michaela is paying lip service to Zack and the”experts” (who should know better). That girl will never change. In her mind, her actions and behavior are justified. 

2 hours ago, Lindz said:

Brett is classic over-investment CLASSIC! That jenga tower of compliments was way too much for a guy who is barely into her. She needs to pull wayyyy back & play it cool. I think her high anxiety turned him off.

He made it sounds like she is too much work and he doesn’t want to have to constantly be the adult to her child in anxiety-ridden situations. I get that.

[Yeah No]

24 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Michaela is paying lip service to Zack and the”experts” (who should know better). That girl will never change. In her mind, her actions and behavior are justified. 

Michaela thinks her apologies are a get out of jail free card.  She thinks she can put on her best behavior to "convince" everyone that she is able to get over her OTT reactions.  Zach knows better but the "experts" who are sometimes as dumb as a box of rocks do not.  They think he is not giving her enough of a chance to show him that she is not identified with those behaviors.  But we all know she is, and is very unlikely to change them, unlike them.  It is only a matter of time before "Hurricane Michaela" strikes again.  And this time it might be a category 5!!!

[Yeah No]

28 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

3 hours ago, Lindz said:

Brett is classic over-investment CLASSIC! That jenga tower of compliments was way too much for a guy who is barely into her. She needs to pull wayyyy back & play it cool. I think her high anxiety turned him off.

He made it sounds like she is too much work and he doesn’t want to have to constantly be the adult to her child in anxiety-ridden situations. I get that.

Ryan would zero in on and think any woman's imperfections were too much work.  He only wants what he can't have or what doesn't exist, a perfect flawless 10 with no issues.  He is another true commitmentphobe like this show is famous for picking.   I agree with Lindz, though that Brett does herself no favors by throwing herself at him.  I learned young that when a man is not into you play a little hard to get and don't go crazy for him unless you really think it's being reciprocated.  It sounds like game playing but at least you won't overinvest yourself in someone that doesn't give a crap about you and never will.  At Brett's age she really should know better.  Myrla knows better!  I know I am a broken record but so many of these people in this show from the younger generation are very emotionally immature about relationships.  That's why so many of them are still single, IMHO.

[cinsays]

19 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I think Gil and Rachel would have made a great match.

Myrla and Ryan maybe. 

Bao and Johnny remains to be seen. 

Jose, Zack and Michaela no match with anybody ever. They have too much work yet to do on themselves. 

Brett deserves better than any of them. She's a sweetie. Wears her heart on her sleeve. Doesn't know how to be anybody but herself. She can't pretend. That's a beautiful quality to have. I hope she finds a great guy but Ryan isn't it. 

 

agreed on Gil and Rachel or maybe Gil and Brett

i think zack will be fine down the road but this "experiment" was a big mistake

jose, machaela and myrla would be hard to match with anybody

[Boo Boo]

How much do you want to bet that Johnny, hearing that Rachel called Jose Johnny, is now convinced that she wants him because he's just such a ladies' man?  Instead of realizing that it's just a case of two J's and a flub.

Edited September 27, 2021 by Boo Boo

[cinsays]

15 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

And there go the entire fields of psychology, psychiatry, behavioral therapy,.....

yeah, but why should he have to deal with her the way she is now, before she's had any of this therapeutic help, if she even would agree to get it? 

[seacliffsal]

I think that Jose and Michaela are mirror-images of each other in terms of their tempers even though we have seen more of Michaela's.  However, Rachel seems to receive more support on the boards than does Zach even though I think Zach could be in the more dangerous situation in that Michaela seems like she could be violent (based on her reaction after Zach wasn't home that morning when he took his dog to day care).  Unlike Zach, Rachel did tell Jose that she could not be married to him so she totally blocked any restoration of that relationship while many posters are telling Zach to give Michaela more chances (and, of course, Dr. Viv could not believe that Zach wasn't giving Michaela more chances...).

In my opinion, both Jose and Michaela have shown their spouses and I don't think Rachel or Zach owe them additional opportunites to berate them.  Maybe Rachel and Zach should start hanging out...

[Mrs. Button]

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And its not just a butterfly feeling or  an I can’t wait to talk to her that he wants.  He wants a feeling that the bedroom is too far away to wait.  I loved the therapist telling  him that’s a fantasy found  in movies or alcohol. It’s the truth.   Especially for couples in their30s.  Wait until they are kids Ryan.  See what intimacy is like then. 

I am 52, I have as many years as a deck has cards (minus Jokers). I have been married for 15 years (my 2nd marriage, 1st was a train wreck), with a 14 year old who, like all teenagers, pushes our buttons as much as possible. I guess it's crazy, but my husband and I are deeply in love, much more so than when we married in fact. We can't wait to see each other after a long day and definitely carry on like teenagers in private (you can only imagine how disgusting our daughter finds our romance lol). We're not alcoholics or living in fantasy worlds, we're just still very attracted to each other and yes, while it is an "in love" feeling, it is deeper than that as we have been together for some time and know each other pretty well. If I didn't have this type of marriage, I don't know that I'd want to be married. (We both suspect many of our married couple friends somewhat despise each other; with homes and mortgages and kids and college, those responsibilities can turn a marriage into more of a business.) So, I had a real problem with the way Dr. V told Ryan he was going to end up single if he held out for that type of romantic feeling.  I guess in that case I would be alone too!  Not that he's doing anything else right necessarily, but if that's important to him in a marriage, he should have it. Then the only reason he came back to the apartment was because he didn't want to go back to serial dating. So romantic :) I think Viviana would just say whatever she could to guilt/convince him to stick around for filming. Who cares about the psychology behind it all?

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I also loved how each of them in their confessional said that separately. They all said there must be more to the story because it doesn't make sense to hear Jose tell it. I just love it when someone is lying, yet the truth is all on tape! Jose must have forgotten he was being filmed. Busted!!

I really, really like that Lifetime made a concerted point of making sure that all the grooms had their say in disapproving of his actions. Guess after Chris they realized they needed to draw a line somewhere! This is supposed to be Television for Women, after all. JFKFC.

Edited September 24, 2021 by Mrs. Button

[Kiss my mutt]

Can you imagine being Jose’s coworker? Or worse being a female coworker?

He should just marry himself and call it a day. 

[Elizzikra]

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I agree with Lindz, though that Brett does herself no favors by throwing herself at him.  I learned young that when a man is not into you play a little hard to get and don't go crazy for him unless you really think it's being reciprocated.  It sounds like game playing but at least you won't overinvest yourself in someone that doesn't give a crap about you and never will.  At Brett's age she really should know better.  Myrla knows better!  I know I am a broken record but so many of these people in this show from the younger generation are very emotionally immature about relationships.  That's why so many of them are still single, IMHO.

I don't play games; I never have. Maybe that's why I didn't get married until I was 45. I don't think I ever threw myself at anyone and I don't think Brett is doing that. I think she is being honest and straightforward. She likes Ryan. What's the point of playing games? How is it "emotionally mature" to play hard to get? If Ryan isn't into Brett and never will be, then why bother to play at anything. I think the best thing to do in this show is to just be honest, give it your best shot and see what happens. I think the whole point of the show it to get people out of the game playing mindset of dating.

[ECM1231]

6 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

He made it sounds like she is too much work and he doesn’t want to have to constantly be the adult to her child in anxiety-ridden situations. I get that.

I wish we had seen some of this, though. She seems fairly normal to me, although as others have said, a bit too quick to lay her cards on the table. Also, we only have Ryan's word about her freak out on the plane. What exactly was she doing? Many people have a phobia about flying. Mr. Moneybags traveling on private jets should show a little compassion. He's no stud muffin so I don't know why he's feeling so entitled to an Instagram model wife 

[Auntie Anxiety]

21 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I wish we had seen some of this, though.

She had a freak out when they were kayaking because there was a manatee close by. She was too afraid to look at it and carried on/overreacted like it was a great white shark.

That being said, I do like Brett. She seems very genuine and self-aware.

Edited September 24, 2021 by Auntie Anxiety