Fundy Weddings: All of the Cringe, None of the Booze

[Tikichick]

17 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think Anna was the main offender here. I know her family didn’t have much money, but a friend couldn’t do her hair for free? I know how vain young women can be about their hair. What’s up with that choice? Anyone’s guess?

For Anna I not only think money was a controlling factor in what she decided, I think maybe there was an attempt to be seen as not trying to be showy so as to be properly pious so as to meet the standards of the overtly pious family she was marrying into.   No doubt Anna was never allowed to forget she was very definitely marrying up, and to the prince of the kingdom no less.   

[Scarlett45]

3 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

For Anna I not only think money was a controlling factor in what she decided, I think maybe there was an attempt to be seen as not trying to be showy so as to be properly pious so as to meet the standards of the overtly pious family she was marrying into.   No doubt Anna was never allowed to forget she was very definitely marrying up, and to the prince of the kingdom no less.   

But don’t men want their wives to look attractive? Given the pompous asshole Josh was known to be even then, I would think he would want Anna to look nice as a credit to him. 

[Tikichick]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

But don’t men want their wives to look attractive? Given the pompous asshole Josh was known to be even then, I would think he would want Anna to look nice as a credit to him. 

But he or someone in the family would have had to convey that to Anna and/or her family.  IMO Anna's family is much more sincere in their beliefs, so the Duggars would have had to reveal themselves.   Also Anna's family probably was doing what they could afford, so JB would have had to open his wallet -- at a time when he actually was routinely dressing his brood in all secondhand.  

[Scarlett45]

5 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

But he or someone in the family would have had to convey that to Anna and/or her family.  IMO Anna's family is much more sincere in their beliefs, so the Duggars would have had to reveal themselves.   Also Anna's family probably was doing what they could afford, so JB would have had to open his wallet -- at a time when he actually was routinely dressing his brood in all secondhand.  

Ah I see. Thanks for explaining. 

[madpsych78]

11 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Michelle and JimBob:

I liked Michelle's first wedding dress. Similar in some respects to Jinger's dress.

Michelle's vow removal dress was an atrocity, however...

[GeeGolly]

Please excuse me for posting pictures all the time, but it helps me put everyone's post in better context.

[Tikichick]

11 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Michelle and JimBob:

Couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was that seemed so off in this picture.  Finally figured it out.  JB's expression.   It's not about youth versus middle age.   There's a total change in demeanor, expression, light in the eyes.   At this point he hadn't become the braying donkey with an overdeveloped sense of control.   There's actually a sense of humanity behind the eyes.  

[beckie]

11 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Please excuse me for posting pictures all the time, but it helps me put everyone's post in better context.

You forgot Jinger.

[GeeGolly]

Just now, beckie said:

You forgot Jinger.

Oops, I guess I did!

[Tikichick]

12 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Please excuse me for posting pictures all the time, but it helps me put everyone's post in better context.

Your pictures just said a lot to me.   The first six images really draw a redline around just how controlling this cult is.   Six brides all part of or marrying into a family all chose the same hairstyle?   Because of course that's to be expected.  Ugh.

Anna's reveals a very timid girl who just married someone she's not quite sure she has the right to stand next to, much less pose for picture with and touch.  

[Scarlett45]

25 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Please excuse me for posting pictures all the time, but it helps me put everyone's post in better context.

No no I love that you post photos- it helps refresh everyone’s memory. Is the first girl Katey?

 

[Scarlett45]

On 5/19/2021 at 8:45 AM, Tikichick said:

Your pictures just said a lot to me.   The first six images really draw a redline around just how controlling this cult is.   Six brides all part of or marrying into a family all chose the same hairstyle?   Because of course that's to be expected.  Ugh.

To slightly defend the brides here- they are all women around the same age, in about the same decade, a part of the same ethnic/cultural group with similar hair textures (Abbie is the only one with a very distinct hair texture compared to the others). Even if they weren’t Fundy I would expect them to have similar hairstyles just based on the trends of the day, the way mainstream girls often wear similar hairstyles to prom (non pandemic times). 
 

I just think the styles were executed poorly. 

[IndianPaintbrush]

25 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Speaking the hair at these Duggar weddings- I’ve never seen brides look like they are just headed to the mall with their hair. Jinger, Kendra, Abbie, Claire (even Jessa) all looked very beautiful in their hair choices, but the rest of the brides, if there was no veil I thought they would’ve just been heading out on a random Saturday!  I think Anna was the main offender here. I know her family didn’t have much money, but a friend couldn’t do her hair for free? I know how vain young women can be about their hair. What’s up with that choice? Anyone’s guess?

The Duggars don't seem to be as hair-conscious as the Bates. They want to show off their long hair, but in many cases their hair doesn't hold curls well and there's no one around with real hairstyling skills to make sure it doesn't get scraggly after five minutes.

Anna probably regrets her unfortunate straight sideswept bangs, which were very in style at the time, but Joy probably looks at her photos and thinks she looks just fine.

[BigBingerBro]

Anna'a bridal hair looks much better than this look:

[MargeGunderson]

Anna’s hair was similar to the badly permed crunchy hair all the Duggar girls were sporting at the time, so in their circles it probably seemed fine. 

[Lurk]

I recently read through every.single.post on the 19 Things I Hate thread to see if 1 of the biggest things I cannot stand had been mentioned. I didn't see it there, but I am happy that others have posted it here.....

 

The Massacre March song that they play at the Duggar weddings.

 

ps - Honey Boo Boo's Mama June had orange in her wedding. So it's not a widely used wedding color. Just used by the best of the best!

[lascuba]

The problem with Anna's hair is that its thin and fine, and at the time she was trying to style it like every other gothardite by perming it and growing  it long. That style doesn't look good on anyone, but if you have thick hair you won't look completely awful. Anna's hair is thin and scraggly with broken ends...no way to make their preferred style look good on her without some fake hair put in. 

I don't like Jill or Jessa's wedding hair on principle, but they both have thick, healthy hair and outside of wearing a gown, it looks good. Jinger's hair is is thin and damaged, which is likely why she had her hair up.  If Anna had worn it up, she would have looked a lot better.

Edited May 19, 2021 by lascuba

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

To slightly defend the brides here- they are all women around the same age, in about the same decade, a part of the same ethnic/cultural group with similar hair textures (Abbie is the only one with a very distinct hair texture companies to the others). Even if they weren’t Fundy I would expect them to have similar hairstyles just based on the trends of the day, the way mainstream girls often wear similar hairstyles to prom (non pandemic times). 
 

I just think the styles were executed poorly. 

This is so true. I took a college course as an older adult. Half the class were young women under 20. Every single one of them had some variation of long straight hair, fleece jackets (usually North Face), sweats, leggings or jeans and shearling boots (usually Uggs). 

This was at a state college, and likely not a Fundy among them. Even Fundy girls at Fundy weddings follow trends - both mainstream and Fundy.

[sheshark]

Just my vote as Jinger as best overall bridal look.  I like Jessa's dress a bit more, but bad hair and nothing veil keeps it in second place.  Jinger's hair was an attempt at style, and the veil made the look.

 

[libgirl2]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Please excuse me for posting pictures all the time, but it helps me put everyone's post in better context.

JD and Abbie look giddy! I do believe they have a real love match. 

[Tikichick]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

To slightly defend the brides here- they are all women around the same age, in about the same decade, a part of the same ethnic/cultural group with similar hair textures (Abbie is the only one with a very distinct hair texture companies to the others). Even if they weren’t Fundy I would expect them to have similar hairstyles just based on the trends of the day, the way mainstream girls often wear similar hairstyles to prom (non pandemic times). 
 

I just think the styles were executed poorly. 

 

44 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

This is so true. I took a college course as an older adult. Half the class were young women under 20. Every single one of them had some variation of long straight hair, fleece jackets (usually North Face), sweats, leggings or jeans and shearling boots (usually Uggs). 

This was at a state college, and likely not a Fundy among them. Even Fundy girls at Fundy weddings follow trends - both mainstream and Fundy.

The basic white college girl look, sure.  Just need the requisite PSL in hand and, voila.    But when it's their wedding day, or even prom looks in my experience with my own daughters and their friends, they want to stand out, they want to be the star or even a princess and I'd definitely expect to see quite a few different updos in the bunch.

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

The basic white college girl look, sure.  Just need the requisite PSL in hand and, voila.    But when it's their wedding day, or even prom looks in my experience with my own daughters and their friends, they want to stand out, they want to be the star or even a princess and I'd definitely expect to see quite a few different updos in the bunch.

I agree, but its often fairly easy to identify the era of a wedding or prom by the attire and hairstyles.

[Tikichick]

1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:

I agree, but its often fairly easy to identify the era of a wedding or prom by the attire and hairstyles.

Sure.   The seventies was marked by powder blue tuxes with white shoes and frilly white shirts.  Prom looks for girls even sometimes included plaid and/or olive green and mustard!

My daughters both went through the prom phase in the same era as most of the Duggar brides after Anna.   Updos were very much of the time -- loose beachy styles, braided styles, sleek chignons, bejeweled looks, etc.  

[drafan]

12 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

 Josh/Anna was not great either, but as I understood it Josh had bigger plans which he had to scrap because of weather.

Do you mean like shagging a hooker in the back of a pick-up truck?

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, sheshark said:

Just my vote as Jinger as best overall bridal look.  I like Jessa's dress a bit more, but bad hair and nothing veil keeps it in second place.  Jinger's hair was an attempt at style, and the veil made the look.

 

Jinger’s veil was really pretty. Let me find a photo. 

[emmawoodhouse]

8 hours ago, Quof said:

But it wasn't a wedding, since they were already married.  

I know. I'm just repeating what THEY said. Fundie logic and whatnot. 😁

[ehall1052]

I tried to attach a picture, but it said my file was too big. I believe Alyssa chose those bold colors was because those were the colors Kelly Jo had at her wedding. I didn’t see bridesmaids dresses from Kelly Jo’s wedding, but I saw decorative bows and church flowers and they were the same bold colors as Alyssa picked.

[3 is enough]

People keep saying Anna's family had no money.  As I recall, back in the day one of the brothers-in-law, I think it was Rebekah's husband (they have since divorced), came on to one of the sites and answered some questions.  I distinctly remember him saying that yes, they lived in a mobile home (a big one), but they had land, a tennis court, possibly a pool, and other outdoor activities.  He maintained that they were not poor, they just had a simpler lifestyle.

[Ohiopirate02]

17 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

People keep saying Anna's family had no money.  As I recall, back in the day one of the brothers-in-law, I think it was Rebekah's husband (they have since divorced), came on to one of the sites and answered some questions.  I distinctly remember him saying that yes, they lived in a mobile home (a big one), but they had land, a tennis court, possibly a pool, and other outdoor activities.  He maintained that they were not poor, they just had a simpler lifestyle.

Leaving out the tennis court, that is pretty common for upper middle class southerners.  Outside of the big cities, Southern rich don't appear to be rich.  They live in modest homes on acres of land and don't dress flashy, but spend thousands on their trucks and toys.  That being said, most of them spring for an actual house and not a doublewide.  A doublewide is still a trailer, and trailers will always be trashy.  Things may differ in Florida.  

[Lady Whistleup]

Cousin Amy's wedding:

I hate to say it but I actually prefer the "modest" styles to Amy's dress. That strapless style doesn't really flatter Amy.

[Gigi43]

Jessa and Jinger had nicer dresses than Amy. The top isn't a good fit and it's such a standard look today it does nothing for me.

 

Do we think Jeremy picked out his own suit? I say he had help since it wasn't ugly. 

 

 

[CouchTater]

I like Amy's dress (simple, elegant, with a pop of color), and love her bouquet.

Does anyone know if the maid of honor/bridesmaids dresses matched Amy's sash?  Were in Duggars in the wedding party?

Ok, her attendants' dresses certainly weren't modest enough for her cousins!

Edited May 19, 2021 by CouchTater

[GeeGolly]

Nothing wrong with living in a mobile home, but I don't believe the Kellers were well off. The mom didn't work and the dad did prison ministry, which isn't a high paying job. I'm fairly certain their land is in a non-residential area and barely developed. Here's a picture of their tennis court.

[lascuba]

3 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Cousin Amy's wedding:

I hate to say it but I actually prefer the "modest" styles to Amy's dress. That strapless style doesn't really flatter Amy.

Somewhere, Amy is sobbing because it took this long for anyone to remember her.

I think the strapless A-line/ballgown is super overdone so I'm not even sure if I think it's unflattering or I'm just tired of seeing it. And I dislike sweetheart necklines in any form. The loose hair as got to be a cultural thing because never in my life have I been to a wedding where the bride wears her her down. I come from an overdressed and overall *extra* people.

[floridamom]

My opinion is that a woman should be a very small cup size to be able to wear a strapless gown properly. I have seen all too many well-endowed brides try to pull it off and they look so uncomfortable in those strapless gowns; like the gown want to 'give up' any second or they're about to pour right out of them. A bride should shop for a silhouette that is right for her body type.....there I go, now I sound like  Randy from SYTTD!

[GeeGolly]

 Alyssa Bates: 

Amy:

[Lady Whistleup]

Carlin:

[IndianPaintbrush]

Actually I think Tori had one of the prettiest dresses of all. It's not a style I would choose for myself, but it looks fantastic on her.

[3 is enough]

Alyssa's dress wasn't too bad- I think it was strapless and they added some straps. But it didn't seem to be as obviously altered as Erin's.  I did like that she wore pink shoes with it.

Of all the Bates sisters I liked Tori's dress and hair the best.  Kind of funny since she really didn't seem to care about the details.  Josie comes in second, then Carlin, Michaela, and Erin.  

My daughter got married in 2016, and she did not want a strapless dress, but after trying on a large number of dresses it ended up being the style that was most flattering on her.  She is not small busted, but the dress was altered perfectly and she was never in danger of popping out .  The back was laced like a corset and she switched the white ribbon for red, and wore red shoes.

[lascuba]

Oh, I love Carlin's dress. It somehow manages to be dramatic without being too much.

[Lady Whistleup]

Carlin also has the kind of thick hair that allows her to pull off that wavy long look.

[GeeGolly]

Josie Bates gets the award for biggest bouquet - ever.

[CountryGirl]

39 minutes ago, floridamom said:

My opinion is that a woman should be a very small cup size to be able to wear a strapless gown properly. I have seen all too many well-endowed brides try to pull it off and they look so uncomfortable in those strapless gowns; like the gown want to 'give up' any second or they're about to pour right out of them. A bride should shop for a silhouette that is right for her body type.....there I go, now I sound like  Randy from SYTTD!

I agree that it shouldn't be boob-a-palooza, but that's less a style of dress/silhouette issue and more ordering a smaller size than they should. 

I'm a DD and wore a strapless dress and my boobs were quite contained with the tiniest hint of cleavage. But I wore the size recommended to me, so much so that the only alterations needed were to make bustle hooks.

A good friend was the same cup size and ordered two sizes down, thinking she'd lose enough weight and her boobs were a good sneeze away from joining the party. 

It also matters how structured the gown is. We both had built-in corsets (so I didn't even need to wear a bra), but again, having the right size, appropriate structure, including good alterations if needed, is key.

Topic?

I liked Jessa's dress the best as I'm a sucker for pink/blush. Her hair actually looked better in the trying-on scene than the wedding but since we're specifically talking about the dress, hers is just stunning.

If we're talking best hair, then that's Jinger.

She also gets points for having the prettiest bridesmaids dresses - I loved the array of colors. But I didn't care for her gargantuan doily tablecloth train. it should have ended with the first layer of lace. 

[Lady Whistleup]

16 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

I agree that it shouldn't be boob-a-palooza, but that's less a style of dress/silhouette issue and more ordering a smaller size than they should. 

I'm a DD and wore a strapless dress and my boobs were quite contained with the tiniest hint of cleavage. But I wore the size recommended to me, so much so that the only alterations needed were to make bustle hooks.

A good friend was the same cup size and ordered two sizes down, thinking she'd lose enough weight and her boobs were a good sneeze away from joining the party. 

Omg. I do not get why women do this. So many women do this -- buy three sizes down in a "goal weight" and then don't lose enough weight. To me that's like buying a house with no down payment.

I do like Susanna Keller's strapless gown. And I hate Anna but she does keep in touch with Susanna despite Josh's disapproval so bonus point for that.

Edited May 19, 2021 by Lady Whistleup

[CountryGirl]

I did try to talk her out of it, tactfully of course. Telling her not to put that kind of pressure on herself, she could have it altered etc. She also had tons of beading on the bodice and it rubbed her underarms and arms RAW. 

[libgirl2]

4 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

I did try to talk her out of it, tactfully of course. Telling her not to put that kind of pressure on herself, she could have it altered etc. She also had tons of beading on the bodice and it rubbed her underarms and arms RAW. 

I remember one of my bridesmaid's dress was too small as she had gained some weight. They let it out as much as possible and told her to be careful! She didn't live nearby and hadn't been at a fitting until the last possible minute. 

Edited May 19, 2021 by libgirl2

[GeeGolly]

The strapless 'hardtop' dresses are tricky - to small results in spillage, too large results in a dress that doesn't move in sync with the body and leaves a little peek-a-boo space. 

Kate Middleton pulled off a strapless dress that wasn't strapless, but even her boob area was a bit strange.

[Heathen]

30 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

 

Suzannah looks like Nathan, minus the acne and scarring (or hers is hidden under makeup). Rebekah is wearing a frigging iceberg on her ring finger. Priscilla looks good in that color. Anna looks like she's wearing a burqa without the head covering. 

Edited May 19, 2021 by Heathen

[jcbrown]

1 hour ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Cousin Amy's wedding:

I hate to say it but I actually prefer the "modest" styles to Amy's dress. That strapless style doesn't really flatter Amy.

I think Amy's dress is wearing her. She looks fairly petite and that ball gown is swallowing her, plus the sash makes her look very short-waisted. The proportions of the gown are just not right for her body. But good for her if she liked it.

[BitterApple]

39 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Suzannah looks like Nathan, minus the acne and scarring (or hers is hidden under makeup). Rebekah is wearing a frigging iceberg on her ring finger. Priscilla looks good in that color. Anna looks like she's wearing a burqa without the head covering. 

Rebekah's boulder is the first thing I noticed! Homegirl scored a major upgrade for Round #2, and I ain't mad at her. I've always wondered how Anna really feels about her and Suze. It has to grind her gears that they did things "wrong" but ended up happy, while she followed the Fundie playbook to the letter and her life is a disaster.

It's also crazy how the Keller girls are so pretty while the younger two sons are so....not. How does that even happen?

Edited May 19, 2021 by BitterApple