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S03.E12: A Stomach Ache, a Heartbreak and a Grave Mistake


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Yeah, definitely not the wisest way to deal with a ghosting boyfriend. I did like them interacting in and of itself, though, and I do like Becky encouraging Harris to demand better of the guys she's interested in, 'cause that is a good message in and of itself. Hopefully Harris will keep that lesson in mind, just...without the vandalism aspect next time. 

(I did laugh at Becky commenting on how well-built the mailbox was, though: "Next tornado I'm putting Beverly Rose in this thing.")

Good story with Mark and Darlene tonight. I can understand both sides of that debate. I too tend to get anxious very easy and I've had to limit some of what I read online in terms of news as a result in recent times as well. But I also agree with Darlene that information is good, too. The best way is to figure out what sites and individuals are trustworthy and who can be honest and realistic without the alarmist headlines. And balancing one's online and offline news content is key, too. 

I also liked how they tied Darlene's anxiety into this as well, and how they connected it to Mark's. 

Also liked Jackie trying to sort out the gravestone thing. Loved how that part of things ended :p. 

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Darlene’s approach to mothering is anxiety ridden and intellectually cold.  What happened to the confident teenage Darlene?  Who in their right mind wants to scare their pre-teen daily for months with Covid details?  How can she really think it’s a great idea?

the mailbox scene was stupid.   Just send the guy a text telling him he’s a jerk. 

So Roseanne’s been gone ‘almost two years’, yet the show is in season 3.

I am not one to go to family’s graves very often, but I would think Dan is still going at least every few months.  His character strikes me as the kind of person to be there often taking to ‘Rosie’.  Sort of how Rocky visits Adrians grave.  Jackie is the first person to see the headstone?  

 

 

 

 

 

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I was worried in the beginning about where all the COVID talk was going, but I thought they handled the stuff with Darlene and Mark very well. The end redeemed it all to me.

And THANK GOD Becky finally mentioned that vandalizing a mailbox is a federal offense, I was saying this the entire time and was wondering when they would let that shit GO! -_-

Finally, Patton Oswalt was GREAT! :) 

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Insert weekly grumbling about the utter stupidity of their mask use here.

"Tomato, potato, she was a wonderful person."  The headstone story was rather silly, but that was funny, and even better was the reveal Jackie had agreed to put Bev there when the time comes.

Rushing Mark off to urgent care for a stomach ache that had lasted a whopping 60 seconds pushed me from Darlene's side of the argument to Dan's.  But Mark's "instead, you gave me cramps and diarrhea" twist on "The Gift of the Magi" cracked me up, as did Darlene's murder hornet joke.  Ultimately, it was a nice talk between Darlene and Mark, that they were each trying to protect the other but actually making things worse.  It is a hard balance to find.

Becky wanting to teach Harris not to accept disrespectful treatment from romantic partners was great, but telling her to do it by acting like the world's stupidest vandal (seriously, hitting the stone surrounding that mailbox the first time was dumb, but the next several strikes rendered them too stupid to live) was not.  But it came back around, with Becky's pride in Harris having her say.

Overall, though, I found this a weak episode.

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Was I the only one thinking Mark's issue might be his appendix like Darlene when she was a kid? 

Instead of it being anxiety over Covid, it would've been an interesting twist and a nice call back to the original series. 

Speaking of the original series can they even show clips from it? 

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I want to watch this because I used to like many of the characters, but the scarf “joke” and the bow legged “joke” were not funny. 
It really annoys me when the adults encourage the younger characters to commit crimes.

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1 hour ago, Arcadiasw said:

Was I the only one thinking Mark's issue might be his appendix  

 

No, my mom thought the exact same thing.

I had forgotten that happened to Darlene, though--good catch! 

 

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11 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

And Jackie doesn’t have the right to just move Roseanne!

Not to mention, they have no money, so how does Jackie come up with the funds for re-interring Roseanne, moving her headstone (assuming she has one), buying a new plot, etc.  Did she just sweet-talk to cemetery manager into doing it gratis?  Kind of mean but funny that she's arranged for Bev to be buried there, though.

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43 minutes ago, zoey1996 said:

Not to mention, they have no money, so how does Jackie come up with the funds for re-interring Roseanne, moving her headstone (assuming she has one), buying a new plot, etc.  Did she just sweet-talk to cemetery manager into doing it gratis?  Kind of mean but funny that she's arranged for Bev to be buried there, though.

Maybe she didn't buy another plot. I remember Bev saying in Wait Till Your Father Gets Home that she wanted to sell Joan her plot so she could "lie next to the man". Jackie could have switched Roseanne over to Bev's paid for plot and left Roseanne's for Bev to use later. But it still would have been expensive and I don't think Jackie had the legal right to do it.

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This made me wonder if a cemetery would actually allow the tombstone to say what Jackie said it did. Plus, if the family had enough money for a tombstone, why did they pick that spot in the first place? There are clearly other spots the neighbor could have been buried in. The whole thing didn't made much sense. And Dan was oddly absent from the entire issue.

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1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

This made me wonder if a cemetery would actually allow the tombstone to say what Jackie said it did. Plus, if the family had enough money for a tombstone, why did they pick that spot in the first place? There are clearly other spots the neighbor could have been buried in. The whole thing didn't made much sense. And Dan was oddly absent from the entire issue.

I think they said it was the neighbor's final revenge. I guess he and Rosanne were in a feud and now he's got the last word.

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I think it's very Jackie to get all riled up about avenging a grievance nobody actually cares about.  Like, if Roseanne could see that headstone, she'd probably laugh.  What she'd have wanted Jackie to do was have a great zinger added to her headstone in response -- she loved having the last word.

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It was nice to see that Harris wasn't super torn up about her break-up. She was hurt and disappointed, and angry at the shabby treatment she got, but not emotionally crushed. Ya know, like a normal person would be after the end of a short relationship. It was a nice contrast to all the creepy hand-wringing Darlene and Becky have done, worrying that Harris would be irrevocably devastated if this simple teenage romance ever went wrong.

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19 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I am not one to go to family’s graves very often, but I would think Dan is still going at least every few months.  His character strikes me as the kind of person to be there often taking to ‘Rosie’.  Sort of how Rocky visits Adrians grave.  Jackie is the first person to see the headstone?

The headstone could have just recently been put up.  I liked the way they resolved it, moving Roseanne seemed like a logical solution.  I find it hard to believe a cemetery would allow that to happen, however, seems more than a little unprofessional.  

Time for the weekly mask gripe:  Jackie is alone in the restaurant so she's wearing a mask.  Oh look, somebody came in, I better take it off.

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(edited)

A tired, lifeless episode.

Anybody else hoping that Roseanne's grave is found empty? Roseanne coming back to the show would make about as much sense as anything else it's done.

Has Roseanne Barr been gone long enough for her to make a comeback? Never mind, I think she's still crazy.

Edited by DB in CMH
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21 minutes ago, DB in CMH said:

A tired, lifeless episode.

Anybody else hoping that Roseanne's grave is found empty? Roseanne coming back to the show would make about as much sense as anything else it's done.

Has Roseanne Barr been gone long enough for her to make a comeback? Never mind, I think she's still crazy.

I doubt ABC or the cast would have her back at this point.

Personally  I need Jackie to move across the country to live with Andy, or join Roseanne. She serves no purpose. Becky needs to move to Mexico with her husband  and baby.

The original show worked because it concentrated on the Conners. Everyone else Was just to bounce jokes off of and we need to trim this group and fast before the show loses even more viewers,

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27 minutes ago, DB in CMH said:

A tired, lifeless episode.

Anybody else hoping that Roseanne's grave is found empty? Roseanne coming back to the show would make about as much sense as anything else it's done.

Has Roseanne Barr been gone long enough for her to make a comeback? Never mind, I think she's still crazy.

As lifeless as Roseanne's body safely ensconced in her grave.  For the story to make sense, the neighbor whose last name started with an "R" must've been a recent addition to the cemetery.

In serious answer to your returning Roseanne question, crazy or not, I think the real-life animosity and legal settlements and contracts would prevent that.  But, it sure would be a hoot if when they throw in the towel, Roseanne is back and The Conners is all a dream.  Like the lottery season of Roseanne.

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1 hour ago, bobalina said:

Personally  I need Jackie to move across the country to live with Andy, or join Roseanne. She serves no purpose. Becky needs to move to Mexico with her husband  and baby.

I actually think Becky may be my favorite character now.  I don't want Jackie gone, but I'd like them to write her a little less crazy.

 

1 hour ago, CrystalBlue said:

In serious answer to your returning Roseanne question, crazy or not, I think the real-life animosity and legal settlements and contracts would prevent that.  But, it sure would be a hoot if when they throw in the towel, Roseanne is back and The Conners is all a dream.  Like the lottery season of Roseanne.

I prefer the faking her death method.  I'd like to see them explain that.  Maybe she won the lottery and faked her death so she wouldn't have to share the money with all the people that now live in her house.

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(edited)
13 hours ago, Arcadiasw said:

Speaking of the original series can they even show clips from it? 

Yes, they've shown two so far: One of David & Darlene during their original relationship (reflecting why they finally broke up once and for all), and one of Dan, Becky, Darlene and DJ taking care of Little Ed as a baby when Crystal and Roseanne were at bingo (when they became reconnected with Little Ed again...despite the fact that they should have been in each other's lives the whole time, but if I think about that for more than a second I'll start screaming, so yeah). 

Also: I guess I'm in the minority because while I was worried that this might be a weak episode in the beginning, the end of it actually saved it for me. Mainly Darlene and Mark's part, but not JUST that. *shrug* 

Edited by UYI
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1 hour ago, bobalina said:

 

Personally  I need Jackie to move across the country to live with Andy, or join Roseanne. She serves no purpose. Becky needs to move to Mexico with her husband  and baby.

 

I know this subject has been beaten to death and back here by now, but when Becky and Jackie were talking about what kids were like growing up, it hit me that it STILL bugs me that the show basically acts like Andy never existed. I'm glad we didn't get a line about Jackie never having kids, but fucked up timeline/continuity issues or not, that is one thing that SHOULD have stayed the same! Sigh. 

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1 hour ago, UYI said:

Yes, they've shown two so far: One of David & Darlene during their original relationship (reflecting why they finally broke up once and for all), and one of Dan, Becky, Darlene and DJ taking care of Little Ed as a baby when Crystal and Roseanne were at bingo (when they became reconnected with Little Ed again...despite the fact that they should have been in each other's lives the whole time, but if I think about that for more than a second I'll start screaming, so yeah). 

Also: I guess I'm in the minority because while I was worried that this might be a weak episode in the beginning, the end of it actually saved it for me. Mainly Darlene and Mark's part, but not JUST that. *shrug* 

I enjoyed Darlene and Mark. That felt real and character based. And earned, considering that Mark has been the COVID obsessed character all season long.

I even liked the Jackie stuff. That felt emotionally grounded.

Becky and Harris was awful.

It felt like the writers thought up a joke (hitting the mail box), and then figured out how to write a scenes around that joke. 

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Getting your kid to talk about his anxieties is healthy. Feeding his anxieties by encouraging him to read tons of stuff on the thing that is making him anxious is not. (Ask me how I know.)

Okay, because yes, I am that kind of nerd: According to the first site I clicked in the google results, it would cost around $8,000 – $20,000 to move a grave. "If the body is recently buried in a vault or metal coffin," $3,000 – $5,000 for the exhumation (more if the body is in a less ideal scenario), plus $1,000 or more if the state requires a funeral director to be present, plus possibly a permit (varies by state). (Plus transportation costs, but we're staying in the same cemetery here so we'll leave that out.) Then the reinterment: "You’ll have to buy a new plot, new headstone and (probably) new casket [in which case, add in disposal of the old casket]. The only way to avoid the new casket is if the remains were buried in a vault and the exhumation company was able to extract it in one piece. Then the entire vault could be re-buried at the new location if state regulations allow." (Though I would think they would just move her headstone as well, assuming it doesn't get damaged in the process.) Another grand or more for the funeral director at the burial, if required. Jackie said Bev would end up next the jerk neighbor, so maybe she already has a plot reserved, so buying another plot and headstone might not apply. But just digging her up is gonna cost a few thousand dollars, plus the labor to rebury her even if they already own the new plot. So who's paying to move Roseanne, because I doubt the cemetery is doing it for free.

Did I miss her telling him about the neighboring headstone or is Jackie planning to move her without telling Dan? She doesn't think he'll notice? Also, Jackie is not the next of kin. She wouldn't be able to have her exhumed and moved without Dan (and possibly the kids) agreeing. According to this page,  "In general, before a grave can be moved, all living heirs of the deceased must be located and consulted. If one of them objects, the move cannot happen legally." Wouldn't her living heirs be Dan, then the kids, then the grandkids? Don't know if Jackie even would have a say (but I am not a lawyer).

Also, "I don't want Dan to hear so I'm going to stand three feet from the wide doorway to the room where he is sitting on the couch approximately ten feet away and tell you all about it."

 

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(edited)
9 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

Also, "I don't want Dan to hear so I'm going to stand three feet from the wide doorway to the room where he is sitting on the couch approximately ten feet away and tell you all about it."

That kind of thing always makes me roll my eyes, but last week's episode was about how Dan can't hear the back-up beep of construction equipment on a job site, so I'll go ahead and accept that Dan wouldn't hear her, especially when he wasn't trying to listen (he was probably watching TV, but regardless, he wasn't paying attention to what was going on in the kitchen).

Edited by Bastet
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8 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

Getting your kid to talk about his anxieties is healthy. Feeding his anxieties by encouraging him to read tons of stuff on the thing that is making him anxious is not. (Ask me how I know.)

Okay, because yes, I am that kind of nerd: According to the first site I clicked in the google results, it would cost around $8,000 – $20,000 to move a grave. "If the body is recently buried in a vault or metal coffin," $3,000 – $5,000 for the exhumation (more if the body is in a less ideal scenario), plus $1,000 or more if the state requires a funeral director to be present, plus possibly a permit (varies by state). (Plus transportation costs, but we're staying in the same cemetery here so we'll leave that out.) Then the reinterment: "You’ll have to buy a new plot, new headstone and (probably) new casket. The only way to avoid the new casket is if the remains were buried in a vault and the exhumation company was able to extract it in one piece. Then the entire vault could be re-buried at the new location if state regulations allow." (Though I would think they would just move her headstone as well, assuming it doesn't get damaged in the process.) Another grand or more for the funeral director at the burial, if required. Jackie said Bev would end up next the jerk neighbor, so maybe she already has a plot reserved, so buying another plot and headstone might not apply. But just digging her up is gonna cost a few thousand dollars, plus the labor to rebury her even if they already own the new plot. So who's paying to move Roseanne, because I doubt the cemetery is doing it for free.

Did I miss her telling him about the neighboring headstone or is Jackie planning to move her without telling Dan? She doesn't think he'll notice? Also, Jackie is not the next of kin. She wouldn't be able to have her exhumed and moved without Dan (and possibly the kids) agreeing. According to this page,  "In general, before a grave can be moved, all living heirs of the deceased must be located and consulted. If one of them objects, the move cannot happen legally." Wouldn't her living heirs be Dan, then the kids, then the grandkids? Don't know if Jackie even would have a say (but I am not a lawyer).

Also, "I don't want Dan to hear so I'm going to stand three feet from the wide doorway to the room where he is sitting on the couch approximately ten feet away and tell you all about it."

 

In all honesty, if the Connors are as broke as this show would like us to believe, there is no way they could had afforded a plot, coffin, vault and headstone, even at the most basic price point.  They maybe could have managed to have her cremated and got a basic urn for her ashes.

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10 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

In all honesty, if the Connors are as broke as this show would like us to believe, there is no way they could had afforded a plot, coffin, vault and headstone, even at the most basic price point.  They maybe could have managed to have her cremated and got a basic urn for her ashes.

I hand wave it as Bev having been the one to pay for it.  They're really inconsistent with her finances, but she seems to be sitting on money she wants to spend/dole out on her own terms; if I go ahead and assume that, burying her daughter is the kind of thing she'd shell out for.

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1 hour ago, DB in CMH said:

Becky and Harris was awful.

Agree with that.  I hope it doesn't send a message to teenagers that vandalism is the way to handle breakups.  I wouldn't mind them having to face some consequences for their behavior, but I suppose there's not much reason to drag the story out.  Under the circumstances, maybe Josh's wealthy family just decided to swallow the cost of fixing the mailbox.  

 

24 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

Did I miss her telling him about the neighboring headstone or is Jackie planning to move her without telling Dan? She doesn't think he'll notice?

I was kind of curious as to what kind of response Dan would have had to that, but he can't exactly go punch out a dead man.  He might have threated the cemetery guy, I guess.

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8 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I hand wave it as Bev having been the one to pay for it.  They're really inconsistent with her finances, but she seems to be sitting on money she wants to spend/dole out on her own terms; if I go ahead and assume that, burying her daughter is the kind of thing she'd shell out for.

I can go with that.

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1 hour ago, DB in CMH said:

I enjoyed Darlene and Mark. That felt real and character based. And earned, considering that Mark has been the COVID obsessed character all season long.

I even liked the Jackie stuff. That felt emotionally grounded.

Becky and Harris was awful.

It felt like the writers thought up a joke (hitting the mail box), and then figured out how to write a scenes around that joke. 

This. I guess the former stuff largely made me forget the latter stuff. :)

(Although as a Becky stan I have to hope she doesn't act this stupid in the future!)

 

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29 minutes ago, rmontro said:

I hope it doesn't send a message to teenagers that vandalism is the way to handle breakups.  

If they didn't learn that from this song, nothing else is going to reach them about it! :P

 

 

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29 minutes ago, UYI said:

This. I guess the former stuff largely made me forget the latter stuff. 🙂

(Although as a Becky stan I have to hope she doesn't act this stupid in the future!)

 

I sincerely doubt teens watch this show.

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(edited)
21 minutes ago, bobalina said:

I sincerely doubt teens watch this show.

I don't know--you never know who might have grown up with Roseanne reruns back in the day and stuck with this show once it came back and evolved. I saw the original show when I was VERY young in the 90's on ABC, then followed it to the reruns on TBS/Nick at Nite/TV Land/Oxygen in the 2000s/2010s. 

Of course, some teens hesitate at the thought of watching a show more than even ten years old, let alone twenty/thirty years old (with some weird exceptions like The Golden Girls), so your point still stands. I just like to think that some teens appreciate classic TV like I did as a teen, and therefore would be interested in following the Conner family to this show, too. Hope springs eternal and all that. ;) 

Edited by UYI
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I just don't believe that Roseanne would have such an intense feud with a neighbor, especially over something as stupid as trash cans. The few neighbors we saw on the show quickly stopped interacting with the Connors as soon as possible and it's not like Roseanne had much inclination to talk with them in the later years.

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1 hour ago, UYI said:

If they didn't learn that from this song, nothing else is going to reach them about it! 😛

Ha, I was thinking about that song when I wrote my post.

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I'm glad that have not forgotten about Darlene's anxiety and Mark's plot was both relevant and well handled. The same can't be said of the two sub-plots. The idea of Becky trying to encourage Harris to stand up for herself and demand respect was good, the execution was horrible. Jackie's plot was random and a painful waste of Patton Oswalt.

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7 hours ago, MissLucas said:

Jackie's plot was random and a painful waste of Patton Oswalt.

I'm going to agree with you, but I always find it interesting when they bring up Roseanne, and how they handle it.  I'm a little surprised that she is portrayed as being remembered fondly and respectfully, I would have almost expected them to throw some shade on her (beyond getting into petty battles with the neighbors).  But all the family members speak well of her.

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42 minutes ago, rmontro said:

I'm going to agree with you, but I always find it interesting when they bring up Roseanne, and how they handle it.  I'm a little surprised that she is portrayed as being remembered fondly and respectfully, I would have almost expected them to throw some shade on her (beyond getting into petty battles with the neighbors).  But all the family members speak well of her.

My mom and I had our differences and god knows I used to complain about her but since her death in 2017, I speak respectfully of her always. I loved her, she was my mom.

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2 hours ago, rmontro said:

But all the family members speak well of her.

Well, they're talking about Roseanne Conner, not Roseanne Barr, so that makes sense.  They loved her and they miss her. 

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20 hours ago, Wizardpatch said:

I just don't believe that Roseanne would have such an intense feud with a neighbor, especially over something as stupid as trash cans. The few neighbors we saw on the show quickly stopped interacting with the Connors as soon as possible and it's not like Roseanne had much inclination to talk with them in the later years.

Except for the guy with 2 daughters Roseanne was always fighting with neighbors. 

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For whatever reason the canned laughter really got to me in this episode. It was like I couldn't not hear it, this noise, after almost every line of dialogue whether it was earned or not and more often it was not. It's a product of the times I realize that, but it's a contrivance that does a disservice to a show that in some moments already seems like it's trying too hard to be funny.

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Yes, they've shown two so far: One of David & Darlene during their original relationship (reflecting why they finally broke up once and for all), and one of Dan, Becky, Darlene and DJ taking care of Little Ed as a baby when Crystal and Roseanne were at bingo (when they became reconnected with Little Ed again...despite the fact that they should have been in each other's lives the whole time, but if I think about that for more than a second I'll start screaming, so yeah). 

There also was the clip of Jackie with Booker a few episodes ago. 

Sorry, but Darlene needs to suck it up a little bit as a mother. She needs to be reassuring with Mark instead of being all about "honesty" (this coming from an anxious mother with an anxious kid who told me this years ago).  She needs to show him that even though she is having difficulties, she can work through them, rather that enmeshing her kid in her own problems.

I wonder how well Dan can hear with those pawn-shop hearing aids. I know they had advertised some fairly cheap hearing aids (actually amplifiers) on TV a while back and you could even buy them at Walmart. And Costco even sells "real" hearing aids at a very reduced rate.  But hearing loss does affect people emotionally and maybe Dan saw this as a doable solution. 

Funny that we have never heard of Roseanne's trash-can neighbor on the original show. It's not like KATHY was buried next to her! 

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

There also was the clip of Jackie with Booker a few episodes ago. 

Funny that we have never heard of Roseanne's trash-can neighbor on the original show. It's not like KATHY was buried next to her! 

 

Maybe it was one of the annoyed neighbors who had to look at her tacky holiday decorations. 

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Another thing that doesn't ring true is your kid has a tummy ache and you immediately dash off to Urgent Care?  Even though Darlene supposedly has health care bennies from Wellman's, there's got to be a deductible.

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11 minutes ago, CrystalBlue said:

Another thing that doesn't ring true is your kid has a tummy ache and you immediately dash off to Urgent Care?  Even though Darlene supposedly has health care bennies from Wellman's, there's got to be a deductible.

Yeah, between this episode and the last one with her anxiety attacks, even with avoiding an ambulance, she's going to have bills.

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4 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

Yeah, between this episode and the last one with her anxiety attacks, even with avoiding an ambulance, she's going to have bills.

Becky is going to have a bill when Mr. and Mrs. Josh find out what happened to their stone mailbox.  Josh will tell his parents some psycho bitch he was dating and her mom damaged it with a baseball bat.  Lawsuit ensues.

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