S12.E07: How Do You Know If You're In Love?

[Ilovepie]

I just keep wondering - if Jake makes 20 comments that have nothing to do with being an 80’s fan and 1 comment about the 80’s, which do you think we see? Because obviously the show has decided this is his storyline.....he might be a completely normal person but he is being portrayed as this weirdo. Maybe they were hoping he would take Amelia and Bennett’s place this season....

[LennieBriscoe]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Nothing wrong with Jake and his obsession with his “things”.  My gorgeous divorced college educated 50 year old Son is now as we speak, at Disney World at the Star Wars exhibition with his Cousin the same age.  Besides Star Wars things, he loves everything Disney, rides and all.  In fact, my whole family are Disney finatics.  Some people don’t get it, but it’s what we love no matter the age. My husband could care less, but hr goes too and plays golf there.  Different strokes for different folks.  Haley’s world seems to be the only world she thinks.  My sons room is filled with Star Wars spaceships, action figures and everything Star Wars from years ago since he was a kid.  It’s his thing, just like Jakes.  Haley is very close minded.   I said gorgeous, as my Son has a perfect nose, unlike Jake, who can’t help it.  I think it turns Haley off from Day one, unfortunately.

Yep, like I said: "harmless vices." One person's "that's weird" is another person's "hurts no one and makes me happy."

The 80s---however Jake chooses to enjoy them---make Jake happy. Haley does not.

"The love of a good woman" might have had a fighting chance of getting Jake to expand his horizons and life to include her idiosyncrasies and maybe tone down his somewhat (personally, I'd focus on the "beach"! Maybe show him how an herb garden might enhance his steak and eggs!).

But that love is not what Haley offers Jake. So right now he can see no reason to give up anything, to be less "Jake."

Like, when he showed her his MO jacket, her response was basically a recoil. Sooo many other options! "I'll bet you look good in it, too!" "My favorite jacket is (fill in the blank)." "I'm not really familiar with that brand. What can you tell me about it?" 

I'm just trying to understand this guy who tried, albeit awkwardly and with some tone-deafness, to show who he is, what he finds humorous or comforting, and what he desires. I don't recall him ridiculing another.

Nobody says Haley has to love, like, or even accept Jake in the long run. But in the short run she at least owes him kindness.

Kindness for taking a chance on love, on hope.....and on her.

You know, like in those vows. 

 

 

 

[nutella fitzgerald]

16 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I've noticed that they tend to pair the African-Americans based on their skin tone, so I wonder what is the criteria for Caucasians.  On the Philly season, a lot of viewers felt that Will was jealous that Keith was the one who was paired with Kristina.  Which brings me to Hayley.  I can't help but believe she is miffed, because Virginia got the handsome Pilot and she got the ordinary looking guy with the 80's obsession.

How did I never notice the matches based on skin tone before?! Will I ever unsee this?

[humbleopinion]

These are the 2 reasons given for Haley and Jake to be matched..

 Jake’s self imposed timeline to be married by 40 years old.

Haley inability to stop making snap, first impression judgements of eligible men she meets.

Apples meet oranges...Pretzel logic. 

No wonder these 2 are flailing, there is nothing to superficially make them compatible enough to last through a coffee date.

Both Jake and Haley have gone beyond the call of duty to last  a week filming this show...

Stop the madness...

Jake’s the kind of guy who if met a woman who “got him” she would get a good guy.

Haley is the kind of woman who met a guy that her friends group loved then she would make it work because she has the Philosophy for the better of the greater good...she loves her friends maybe more than she loves herself...who else would be a bridesmaid 14 times with 3 more coming soon....

 

Edited February 28, 2021 by humbleopinion

[Hangin Out]

7 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Yep, like I said: "harmless vices." One person's "that's weird" is another person's "hurts no one and makes me happy."

The 80s---however Jake chooses to enjoy them---make Jake happy. Haley does not.

"The love of a good woman" might have had a fighting chance of getting Jake to expand his horizons and life to include her idiosyncrasies and maybe tone down his somewhat (personally, I'd focus on the "beach"! Maybe show him how an herb garden might enhance his steak and eggs!).

But that love is not what Haley offers Jake. So right now he can see no reason to give up anything, to be less "Jake."

Like, when he showed her his MO jacket, her response was basically a recoil. Sooo many other options! "I'll bet you look good in it, too!" "My favorite jacket is (fill in the blank)." "I'm not really familiar with that brand. What can you tell me about it?" 

I'm just trying to understand this guy who tried, albeit awkwardly and with some tone-deafness, to show who he is, what he finds humorous or comforting, and what he desires. I don't recall him ridiculing another.

Nobody says Haley has to love, like, or even accept Jake in the long run. But in the short run she at least owes him kindness.

Kindness for taking a chance on love, on hope.....and on her.

You know, like in those vows. 

 

 

 

Looks like she made up her mind on Day one.  No room for improvement either.  Like Molly, seasons ago.

[LuvMyShows]

15 hours ago, Blissfool said:

While we're talking about looks...I don't watch The Bachelor or any of its spinoffs, but this guy that the media is saying will take over as host looks a lot like MAFS Chris. 

Hadn't known they'd selected someone (so far, I think it's just to host the After The Final Rose show), but OMG, you're right!  Unfortunately, it looks like he does not actually watch the show, so I really wonder how that will affect the way it goes.

[scruffy73]

On 2/25/2021 at 10:33 PM, princelina said:

That was the late 70s! 😄   1980s was Molly Ringwald, Boy George, adult Michael Jackson and Wham!

 

That's why you buy the box! 😄 

I agree if he didn't know or found it offensive to bring it up.  My problem with him was the sulking, making her beg to know what she did, and the storming out.

Ha ha I'm the exact opposite - I'll leave stuff piled on my dining room table for weeks, or clean laundry stacked all over the guest room beds, until I can put things neatly away in their proper places 😄   I have hopes for them too, and Clara is probably - of all MAFS people ever - the one I am surprised each week to find myself liking more and more!

Tricky girl - usually they're so astute 😂😂😂

She wasn't talking to him - she was talking about him.  She said something like "I'm going to talk to Pastor Cal and expose all of his shit and everything he's done!"

Pepper continued, "But does a lot of it break my heart, as much of it has broken yours? Do I understand your disgust? Of course I do. We must take responsibility for this match -- but I assure you the Chris we all see now, is not the Chris we met and married to Paige."

^^Pepper from that article.  Pepper!  The Chris you met and married to Paige was engaged to someone else a few months ago!  Didn't you think that mattered at all?  It wasn't a red flag to any of you who market yourself as experts?  Unless an "expert" publicly says that Chris lied to them about being engaged earlier in the year, they can STFU with their excuses about him.

I think what Virginia thinks of as rules and asking permission, he thinks of as courtesy amongst husband and wife.  If a spouse asks you to let them know you got somewhere safely, or to text when you're leaving so they know you're on your way home, why is that offensive?  Even if it makes you roll your eyes because you think you're fine, is it that hard to make the other feel better?  And based on their discussion, I felt that what she thought was "asking permission" was in his mind being courteous.  Several years ago I went to a friend's bachelorette party - it was a little farther home than I'm used to going, it was going to be a small town walking pub crawl, and I didn't want to have to police myself so I decided I was going to spend the night at my friend's house on the sofa and have fun drinking up that night.  To Mr P I said, "Hey, here's what I want to do - do you mind?"  I wasn't asking permission, just being courteous and considering his feelings.  Another thing about being married - one of us might be invited to an event without the other, and one says "Hey, I was going to do ____ this Saturday" and the other says, "You can't because we're already doing _____".  And I think Eric would be happy with that.  (Once in a while of course, not every single Thursday, Friday and Saturday that he's not working 😄 )

Ha!  You're nicer than me - if it were me the airport cops in Las Vegas would be trying to figure out who owned the unattended luggage! 😄 

See, you and I can sit together bc I said the same thing. I’m either calling security or opening his luggage and leaving it at baggage claim. You know it happens sometimes when those baggage handlers are rough.

[Adeejay]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Looks like she made up her mind on Day one.  No room for improvement either.  Like Molly, seasons ago.

I politely disagree. Hayley seemed to have had a change of heart after she actually slept with Jake.  Molly  and Jon didn't consummate their marriage.  He wasn't even allowed to touch her.  She told him he made her skin crawl.  Hayley on the other hand, is being tight lipped about what happened with Jake.   

[TH on Prime]

At the beginning, I thought that the two couple who had a chance at succeeding were Ryan and Clara and Brianna and Vincent.  Now that Vincent has allowed us to see his deep seated insecurities, I think now it's 1 out of 5 which is typical for this show's miserable success rate.

Some mentions that have already made:

Chris is a dirt bag but the one thing that he got right is that Virginia is a drunkard.  Her perfect MAFS partner would have been a party boy drunk. Erik is delusional if he thinks that she is wife material.  Probably good sex until the novelty wears off.

Someone needs to take Paige's shovel away.  Her self esteem couldn't get any lower. Stop digging!

Jake is the kind of guy you'd find amusing at a party.  In terms of human evolution, the 80's thing is a facade that gets him invited.  Haley might be a nice person but wife material?  She's just marking time until decision day, if she gets that far.

It bothers me to see Paige and Chris use their religiousness as a shield for their severe shortcomings.  Sheer hypocrisy.

I think that Clara is great.  What you see is what you get.  Fun, aware, compassionate, and even a bit rough around the edges at times.  All good (so far). No agenda.  Ryan is going to have to loosen up and meet her part way if they are going to succeed.

And a constant annoyance to me every season is how inept these experts are.  I don't know the current count but some seasons have drawn 50-60-70 thousand applicants and this crew is the pick of the litter???

FWIW, I think that MAFS Australia is far, far better.  Can anyone suggest an easy way to view previous seasons?  TIA.
 

[DrewPaul2010]

On 2/27/2021 at 6:12 AM, Yeah No said:

Jake is the guy in the IT department whose cube is decorated in all manner of kitschy toys he's collected over the years.  In his case, it's probably full of '80s action figures and neon everywhere.  He's the guy that the sales reps. like Haley side eye in second hand embarrassment when they walk past his desk.  I think matching him with Haley might have been deliberate sabotage.  In the old days we used to say that a woman like Haley was "out of his league", and actually she is.  I prefer to say she's in a different league, not better or worse.  Anyone with any knowledge of complementary personality types would know that a sales rep. matched with a quirky IT or science nerd only works on "The Big Bang Theory", which means in the real world pretty much never.  Leonard and Penny are an unlikely couple so that's why it's comedy gold.  This show and their "opposites attract" theory is most often proven wrong, and that's probably no accident.  They want it to fail.  They are yet another obvious mismatch.  Jake needed to find an Amy from "Big Bang Theory" that could go there with the "out there" aspects of his interests and personality.  Haley is not that woman.  Nothing wrong with her.  Nothing wrong with him either.

I can't say its impossible for it to work or that seemingly worlds apart couples don't find true love. I have to put Haley in the Married upon approval not first sight category. She's probably not honest with her self what she wanted and put looks far down the list because she doesn't want to appear shallow.  Now she is acting like getting married at first sight was someone else's idea and she just went along with it. Uh huh.

[Crashcourse]

I'd still like to know why the men scattered away when Jake showed up.   Even if Haley told the group something bad about Jake, I still think at least one of the guys would have wanted to discuss it with him.   I'll be curious to see how they act around him in future episodes.   

I still think he's creepy AF and Haley doesn't want to disclose whatever happened between them on their wedding night.  

[DrewPaul2010]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Looks like she made up her mind on Day one.  No room for improvement either.  Like Molly, seasons ago.

Molly was worse. She led him by the nose the entire season and claimed she's 98% there. I'm sure many of the individuals say to themselves if I don't like my spouse I'll divorce them. Paige hasn't gotten that memo. On MAFS marriage is for eight weeks, not life. If its good enough it gets an extension.

 

 

[ECM1231]

11 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

basically a recoil. Sooo many other options! "I'll bet you look good in it, too!" "My favorite jacket is (fill in the blank)." "I'm not really familiar with that brand. What can you tell me about it?" 

I'm just trying to understand this guy who tried, albeit awkwardly and with some tone-deafness, to show who he is, what he finds humorous or comforting, and what he desires. I don't recall him ridiculing another.

Nobody says Haley has to love, like, or even accept Jake in the long run. But in the short run she at least owes him kindness.

Kindness for taking a chance on love, on hope.....and on her.

You know, like in those vows. 

 

Lovely. We snark so much that we often forget that these are real people with real feelings/emotions. 

A little kindness will do ya.

[Hangin Out]

13 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I just keep wondering - if Jake makes 20 comments that have nothing to do with being an 80’s fan and 1 comment about the 80’s, which do you think we see? Because obviously the show has decided this is his storyline.....he might be a completely normal person but he is being portrayed as this weirdo. Maybe they were hoping he would take Amelia and Bennett’s place this season....

I believe you are right.  Besides we actually never saw a normal conversation except on Unfiltered, where he was charming and spoke very well, and dressed well.  That was the ONLY decent conversation he was allowed.  I’m not mad, as I think this show will give him many girls to choose from.  He will come out the winner in the end.  Nothing lost.  

[gladitsover]

On 2/25/2021 at 12:21 PM, gonecrackers said:

-Haley's dog moves away from her & snuggles up to Jake... trying to get out of the cold, maybe.

Or maybe the dog just smelled the steak reeking out of his pores... 😝😅

[Chatty Cake]

The dogs were my favorite this episode. 
I feel bad for Paige. What a jerk her husband is. How could he sign up for the show while sleeping with his ex?

[qtpye]

Okay, I have some questions...sorry for being dense:

1.  Is Paige claiming that the show forced her to stay in this marriage because we just saw Pastor Cal say this marriage should not continue? Is she claiming that the producers were forcing her to stay behind the scenes even though the show is saying something else on camera?
2. Did Paige initiate the honeymoon intercourse? I am not asking this to slut shame her but I took it that Chris initiated it...twice and she just went along. Even if she initiated, it was still awful for Chris to go along with it, knowing even at that time that he was not going to stay in this marriage. However, if she initiated then it goes along more with " I decided to try it to see If it would make me like her better" story.
3. What the Hell happened with the story of Hailey pretending to be on a girls night out and then Jacob seeing all the couples run out of the lobby when they saw him? Is this something he made up in his head because he is always the side dick and never the main boyfriend or did this really happen? I am confused because he was apologizing to Hailey. Also, why the Hell did he think she had a boyfriend? Was this just to save his ego because anyone can see, wrongly or rightly, she does not like him?

[Lindz]

What's up with Paige? WHY is she so subdued around Hypochris? She flips out on the phone with the producer, but stays calm with Pastor Cal & Hypochris. She sounded like she realized she'd been stupid & figured out she'd been played. So why did she still act receptive to him at the meet? Seems so disingenuous. Is she trying to "keep sweet" or denying him the satisfaction of seeing her freak out to the max?

[Kdawg82]

On 2/27/2021 at 10:21 PM, Silver Bells said:

Haley’s world seems to be the only world she thinks.  My sons room is filled with Star Wars spaceships, action figures and everything Star Wars from years ago since he was a kid.  It’s his thing, just like Jakes.  Haley is very close minded.   I said gorgeous, as my Son has a perfect nose, unlike Jake, who can’t help it.  I think it turns Haley off from Day one, unfortunately.  His “ hobby” wasn’t the reason for divorce .. they were high school sweethearts that just fizzled after awhile.

This is what I'm saying! Like, at least with someone like your son or Jake, anyone would have a sense of what to buy them for a gift if we had to. They'd likely graciously accept it even if it weren't their favorite star wars hero or 80's brand/music, etc.

Haley??? Umm...what is she even into? I have a feeling that you'd get her a pricey contemporary item of clothing or decor & she would find a way to eyeroll that too because it's "not her style" or not her brand etc.  I know I'll get heat for my assumptions about her but...I can't stand an obvious eye-roller. Seen her do that sarcastic face & some eyerolls that helped me form my opinion on what type of person she really is.

[gingerandcloves]

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

Okay, I have some questions...sorry for being dense:

1.  Is Paige claiming that the show forced her to stay in this marriage because we just saw Pastor Cal say this marriage should not continue? Is she claiming that the producers were forcing her to stay behind the scenes even though the show is saying something else on camera?
2. Did Paige initiate the honeymoon intercourse? I am not asking this to slut shame her but I took it that Chris initiated it...twice and she just went along. Even if she initiated, it was still awful for Chris to go along with it, knowing even at that time that he was not going to stay in this marriage. However, if she initiated then it goes along more with " I decided to try it to see If it would make me like her better" story.
3. What the Hell happened with the story of Hailey pretending to be on a girls night out and then Jacob seeing all the couples run out of the lobby when they saw him? Is this something he made up in his head because he is always the side dick and never the main boyfriend or did this really happen? I am confused because he was apologizing to Hailey. Also, why the Hell did he think she had a boyfriend? Was this just to save his ego because anyone can see, wrongly or rightly, she does not like him?

1. No, it appears that Paige opted to stay married against the advice of the experts. There is a large penalty for quitting the show, but the participants aren't penalized for separating mid season as long as they agree to continue to be filmed. I have not seen Paige claiming anywhere that she was coerced by the experts to stay in the marriage, in fact it seems to be the opposite.

2. I think that was all on Chris. Paige seemed to be doing her "wifely duty", but I don't think she objected too hard *shrug*

3. Apparently, it was supposed to be a girls' night, but then some or all of the husbands came along as well, and Haley didn't bother to invite Jake. We just have his word that they all ran off when they saw him coming. He apologized for yelling at her and calling her a liar. We did not see any apology from her. We don't know why he thought she had a guy on the side, possibly from past experience coupled with her always being on the phone and avoiding hanging out with him. She doesn't communicate well. If they had sex, he has the right to wonder why all of a sudden she's being cold and standoffish. 

[Lindz]

On 2/27/2021 at 5:25 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

Anybody else notice that Erik always seems to have his shoulders pulled up around his ears?  Some people have shoulders like coat hangers, but his don't seem to naturally do that.

YES!! Terribly unattractive posture with an undefined body & boring clothes!! He needs so much work, but shoulders back & chest out is the quickest & easiest thing to fix! I liked his sleek living room. The fire place was pretty cool.

Edited March 2, 2021 by Lindz

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I think Virginia said she was in a sorority; that life is pretty different from trying to find an adult relationship.

I don't understand this. Half the girls in my sorority married the guys they were dating in college. Most of them are still together over 25 years later. I don't think being in a sorority in college really has anything to do with someone's view of marriage or desire for an adult relationship.

[qtpye]

9 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

1. No, it appears that Paige opted to stay married against the advice of the experts. There is a large penalty for quitting the show, but the participants aren't penalized for separating mid season as long as they agree to continue to be filmed. I have not seen Paige claiming anywhere that she was coerced by the experts to stay in the marriage, in fact it seems to be the opposite.

2. I think that was all on Chris. Paige seemed to be doing her "wifely duty", but I don't think she objected too hard *shrug*

3. Apparently, it was supposed to be a girls' night, but then some or all of the husbands came along as well, and Haley didn't bother to invite Jake. We just have his word that they all ran off when they saw him coming. He apologized for yelling at her and calling her a liar. We did not see any apology from her. We don't know why he thought she had a guy on the side, possibly from past experience coupled with her always being on the phone and avoiding hanging out with him. She doesn't communicate well. If they had sex, he has the right to wonder why all of a sudden she's being cold and standoffish. 

Thank you for answering my questions.

I just wanted to make sure that I was understanding what I was seeing. I am horrified that Paige still seem so enthralled with Chris even though he has constantly disrespected her at every turn. I just wanted to make sure I did not miss any show shenanigans. 

[Hip-to-be-Square]

I hate how Hailey rolls her eyes and makes exaggerated faces at Jacob for his eccentric hobbies.  At least Jacob is memorable and unabashedly himself- I don't know anything about Hailey after watching this show for weeks, partly because she seems to be tightly wound, devoid of hobbies and pretty basic in personality and interests.  I'd get along perfectly with Jacob, as my hobby is collecting and exercising exclusively to 80's exercise VHS tapes.  It is a harmless hobby that brings me a lot of joy, fitness and health.  I think that Jacob is better suited for dating apps or meet up events where some of his photos can showcase his hobbies or likeminded ladies at an 80's party can dance with him. 

[Crashcourse]

On 2/28/2021 at 2:49 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

Yep, like I said: "harmless vices." One person's "that's weird" is another person's "hurts no one and makes me happy."

The 80s---however Jake chooses to enjoy them---make Jake happy. Haley does not.

"The love of a good woman" might have had a fighting chance of getting Jake to expand his horizons and life to include her idiosyncrasies and maybe tone down his somewhat (personally, I'd focus on the "beach"! Maybe show him how an herb garden might enhance his steak and eggs!).

But that love is not what Haley offers Jake. So right now he can see no reason to give up anything, to be less "Jake."

Like, when he showed her his MO jacket, her response was basically a recoil. Sooo many other options! "I'll bet you look good in it, too!" "My favorite jacket is (fill in the blank)." "I'm not really familiar with that brand. What can you tell me about it?" 

I'm just trying to understand this guy who tried, albeit awkwardly and with some tone-deafness, to show who he is, what he finds humorous or comforting, and what he desires. I don't recall him ridiculing another.

Nobody says Haley has to love, like, or even accept Jake in the long run. But in the short run she at least owes him kindness.

Kindness for taking a chance on love, on hope.....and on her.

You know, like in those vows. 

 

 

 

I'm not so sure Haley's apparent dislike of Jake has anything to do with his 80s fetish.  I think she could handwave that, but maybe there's something else about him that's not appealing to her, and, thus far, she's not disclosing her real issue(s) with him on national tv.  I think she doesn't want to embarrass him or herself.

That's what I'd call kindness.

[spunky]

On 2/26/2021 at 10:47 PM, Kira53 said:

But she was mean.  She needs to be more self-aware. She only knows Vincent 7 to 10 days she shouldn't be teasing him like that so raven. And I never even saw the show but I don't like the idea of someone saying something negative is sound like them. It's a very straight forward put down and not easily disguised.

We may have to agree to disagree. I genuinely think she was being playful in that moment. She wasn't calling him stupid or any of the things he accused her of. Some people use teasing as a sign of affection.  She went along with him teasing her about her TV and making little comments about her shoes, so she probably thought that playful banter was okay with him.

I guess in that respect I'm  like Brianna.  I always tell people, if I'm not lovingly teasing you , it's a sign that I don't like you.

[Crashcourse]

3 minutes ago, spunky said:

We may have to agree to disagree. I genuinely think she was being playful in that moment. She wasn't calling him stupid or any of the things he accused her of. Some people use teasing as a sign of affection.  She went along with him teasing her about her TV and making little comments about her shoes, so she probably thought that playful banter was okay with him.

I guess in that respect I'm  like Brianna.  I always tell people, if I'm not lovingly teasing you , it's a sign that I don't like you.

I wonder if Vincent overreacted because he's intimidated by her job as and engineer and him being an auto broker, and he sees every little tease as a slight?   I have a feeling that in the past, some of the women he dated might have put down his job, and he feels Brianna could do the same.  I don't see her doing that though, and they both need to learn to communicate better.  I'm pulling for these two.  

[spunky]

2 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I wonder if Vincent overreacted because he's intimidated by her job as and engineer and him being an auto broker, and he sees every little tease as a slight?   I have a feeling that in the past, some of the women he dated might have put down his job, and he feels Brianna could do the same.  I don't see her doing that though, and they both need to learn to communicate better.  I'm pulling for these two.  

You read my mind. I think he has some insecurities from previous relationships and he's bringing them into his marriage.  They're my only hope this season. 

[Hangin Out]

On 2/28/2021 at 2:49 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

Yep, like I said: "harmless vices." One person's "that's weird" is another person's "hurts no one and makes me happy."

The 80s---however Jake chooses to enjoy them---make Jake happy. Haley does not.

"The love of a good woman" might have had a fighting chance of getting Jake to expand his horizons and life to include her idiosyncrasies and maybe tone down his somewhat (personally, I'd focus on the "beach"! Maybe show him how an herb garden might enhance his steak and eggs!).

But that love is not what Haley offers Jake. So right now he can see no reason to give up anything, to be less "Jake."

Like, when he showed her his MO jacket, her response was basically a recoil. Sooo many other options! "I'll bet you look good in it, too!" "My favorite jacket is (fill in the blank)." "I'm not really familiar with that brand. What can you tell me about it?" 

I'm just trying to understand this guy who tried, albeit awkwardly and with some tone-deafness, to show who he is, what he finds humorous or comforting, and what he desires. I don't recall him ridiculing another.

Nobody says Haley has to love, like, or even accept Jake in the long run. But in the short run she at least owes him kindness.

Kindness for taking a chance on love, on hope.....and on her.

You know, like in those vows. 

 

 

 

HOLY SMOKES!  What a ditz I am.  I just found out Lenny Briscoe was a Lawyer on Law n Order.  I never watched the show.  Her I thought he was just a guy on the threads, lol.    In that case, I’m Lt. Colombo.  Lol.

[Nancybeth]

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't understand this. Half the girls in my sorority married the guys they were dating in college. Most of them are still together over 25 years later. I don't think being in a sorority in college really has anything to do with someone's view of marriage or desire for an adult relationship.

THIS. I'm tired of the cliche that sorority girl = party girl. It's antiquated. Some party girls are sorority girls. But there are women who don't drink that join sororities. Sorority women who marry their college boyfriend and sorority women (like me) who are over the age of 40 and haven't married (horror!)  Even LGBTQ sorority women!

Virginia's issues and personality have nothing to do with the fact that she chose to join a sorority in college.

[Retired at last]

55 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I have a feeling that in the past, some of the women he dated might have put down his job, and he feels Brianna could do the same.

He has already stated that and that they didn't have his back.

[humbleopinion]

13 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

He has already stated that and that they didn't have his back.

Vincent is especially sensitive to the last ex complaining that he doesn't have a college degree.

Whether Brianna's impressive engineering degree starts to gnaw at his fragile ego is to be seen.

How much he earns during the pandemic will be a big factor...if he can still earn more than she makes or whatever earning income he sets for himself will determine their future.

Too bad for Brianna that Vincent has turned out to be a petulant, thin skinned, testy, peevish. snappish, and cranky baby man who can't take some joking and playful banter....

What a disappointment after a nice honeymoon...

[LennieBriscoe]

4 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I'm not so sure Haley's apparent dislike of Jake has anything to do with his 80s fetish.  I think she could handwave that, but maybe there's something else about him that's not appealing to her, and, thus far, she's not disclosing her real issue(s) with him on national tv.  I think she doesn't want to embarrass him or herself.

That's what I'd call kindness.

Then I hope she spills those beans after the divorce!

[scruffy73]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

HOLY SMOKES!  What a ditz I am.  I just found out Lenny Briscoe was a Lawyer on Law n Order.  I never watched the show.  Her I thought he was just a guy on the threads, lol.    In that case, I’m Lt. Colombo.  Lol.

Lennie Briscoe was my favorite homicide detective ever on Law and Order, original recipe. Jerry Orbach left the show bc he got sick with cancer. I legit CRIED when he died in real life like he was my uncle. My daddy called to check on me when he heard.

[LennieBriscoe]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

HOLY SMOKES!  What a ditz I am.  I just found out Lenny Briscoe was a Lawyer on Law n Order.  I never watched the show.  Her I thought he was just a guy on the threads, lol.    In that case, I’m Lt. Colombo.  Lol.

Actually, though the late and awesome Jerry Orbach once played a lawyer on "L&O," he is best known for being Detective Lennie Briscoe! (Digression: Orbach was originally a Tony-winning Broadway star!)

7 minutes ago, scruffy73 said:

Lennie Briscoe was my favorite homicide detective ever on Law and Order, original recipe. Jerry Orbach left the show bc he got sick with cancer. I legit CRIED when he died in real life like he was my uncle. My daddy called to check on me when he heard.

This is for you, scruffy73:

https://books.google.com/books/about/Remember_How_I_Love_You.html?id=D-0KuWUO9qMC&source=kp_book_description

Edited March 1, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[LennieBriscoe]

Brianna spoke spontaneously. I can hear my brain instantly converting "That's so Raven!" into "That's so Vinny!" For a JOKE!

Maybe after his reaction, Brianna should have come back with, "Lighten up, Vincent." 😉

[Elizzikra]

11 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Actually, though the late and awesome Jerry Orbach once played a lawyer on "L&O," he is best known for being Detective Lennie Briscoe! (Digression: Orbach was originally a Tony-winning Broadway star!)

This is for you, scruffy73:

https://books.google.com/books/about/Remember_How_I_Love_You.html?id=D-0KuWUO9qMC&source=kp_book_description

He was also Baby’s Daddy in Dirty Dancing! I loved him. He was receiving cancer treatment during his last season of L&O and in one of the final scenes he filmed, he could barely speak above a whisper - so they wrote the scene so all the actors whispered (it was part of the storyline). He was one of the greats.

Apologies in advance mods - I know it’s off topic but I can’t let a chance to pay homage to the late, great Jerry Orbach pass eme by...

[Crashcourse]

Taking the Jerry Orbach discussion to small talk...

[pdlinda]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

How much he earns during the pandemic will be a big factor...if he can still earn more than she makes or whatever earning income he sets for himself will determine their future.

Too bad for Brianna that Vincent has turned out to be a petulant, thin skinned, testy, peevish. snappish, and cranky baby man who can't take some joking and playful banter....

I completely agree with you.  I've always maintained that if Vincent's income is "sporadic" and his career fizzles and she makes guarded (maybe not so guarded) suggestions that he seek "regular" employment (as she's stuck paying all (or most of their bills every month). he will respond very poorly and become defensive and mean.

[Hangin Out]

3 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Actually, though the late and awesome Jerry Orbach once played a lawyer on "L&O," he is best known for being Detective Lennie Briscoe! (Digression: Orbach was originally a Tony-winning Broadway star!)

This is for you, scruffy73:

https://books.google.com/books/about/Remember_How_I_Love_You.html?id=D-0KuWUO9qMC&source=kp_book_description

I like detective and cop stories also.  There must have been something I watched on another channel at the time.  Before DVR.  I loved Jerry Orbach too.  I’ll find the series somewhere.  

 

[ECM1231]

8 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I wonder if Vincent overreacted because he's intimidated by her job as and engineer and him being an auto broker, and he sees every little tease as a slight?   I have a feeling that in the past, some of the women he dated might have put down his job, and he feels Brianna could do the same.  

 

BINGO, WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

Deep down Vincent isn't all that self- confident. His last girlfriend wasn't supportive of his career choice and disliked that he wasn't a college graduate. Despite her annoying baby talk, Briana must be fairly intelligent to be working as an engineer. Intellectually I don't think they are well-matched at all and this has nothing to do with his lack of a degree. One doesn't need a degree to be intelligent. I think he eventually will feel intimidated by her.

 

ETA: I really should read through all the posts before posting as I see many of you have expressed more or less the same thing I have written.

Edited March 2, 2021 by ECM1231

[LennieBriscoe]

To give Jake his dietary due:

https://nspnutrition.com/blogs/nutrition/the-steak-and-eggs-diet-and-why-it-works

💪 If you read/scroll far enough.....😉 😈

Edited March 2, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Crashcourse]

That "After" guy looks hideous.  I hope that's not what Jake wants to look like. 😱

[Hip-to-be-Square]

I think that Jacob took on a keto steak/egg diet to burn residual fat and increase vascularity and muscle definition in his body building competition days and now it has stuck out of habit.  I wrestled in high school 15 years ago and we were encouraged to eat as much protein as possible with minimal or no carbs to make weight during weigh ins and maintain maximum muscle strength for matches.  I'm a meat lover so Jacob's diet wouldn't phase me very much, but I could see someone who is into salads and lighter meals not being into the monotony of steak and eggs over and over. 

[qtpye]

11 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I wonder if Vincent overreacted because he's intimidated by her job as and engineer and him being an auto broker, and he sees every little tease as a slight?   I have a feeling that in the past, some of the women he dated might have put down his job, and he feels Brianna could do the same.  I don't see her doing that though, and they both need to learn to communicate better.  I'm pulling for these two.  

 

11 hours ago, spunky said:

You read my mind. I think he has some insecurities from previous relationships and he's bringing them into his marriage.  They're my only hope this season. 

 

2 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

BINGO, WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

Deep down Vincent isn't all that self- confident. His last girlfriend wasn't supportive of his career choice and disliked that he wasn't a college graduate. Despite her annoying baby talk, Briana must be fairly intelligent to be working as an engineer. Intellectually I don't think they are well-matched at all and this has nothing to do with his lack of a degree. One doesn't need a degree to be intelligent. I think he eventually will feel intimidated by her.

 

ETA: I really should read through all the posts before posting as I see many of you have expressed more or less the same thing I have written.

Way back in the day I briefly dated a guy who had less education and had a job that was not considered as ambitious as my job. I had no problem with it but his friends kept bringing it up constantly and talking about how he was "dating up". He could not handle it and became overly sensitive. We did not date for long. 

I actually had to rewind because it did not even register with me when she said things like "That's so Vinny". Now, I can understand his frustration if that was the 10th time she said that day...

He needs to be secure in himself if he is going to be married to a woman who by society's standards is considered better educated and more successful than himself. There are some men that can not handle this (think Bobby Brown and Whitney  Houston).

[Kiss my mutt]

Wait, Virginia went to college?

[JocelynCavanaugh]

On 2/25/2021 at 10:21 AM, seacliffsal said:

she thinks she is the extroverted life of the party girl while we are starting to see her inability to stop drinking at one point and going home to care for her pets and other responsibilities.

This is an interesting observation, especially contrasted with her need for alone time. If someone told her she's actually an introvert, she'd probably refuse to hear them, but bringing up regular time to herself, unprompted, in a discussion of must-haves, is Intro to Introverts behavior. She loves to party and loves attention and being a "cool girl," but deep down, she's society's most maligned of all types. (I say this as an unapologetic introvert.)

What Brianna said to Vincent was actually pretty mean, but I can believe that she didn't think of it that way. If he had clearly communicated at that moment, she probably could've seen his perspective and made a point to do better. Instead, he went to the dark place, sulked, and forced her to drag it out of him -- and even then, really wasn't explicit about the statement and why it bothered him. 

Haley is clearly not into Jake at all. She tried to fake it, but couldn't make it. Unless the editing is more deceptive than usual, the point of no return was when they had sex. Something about it didn't work for her, but she's trying not to say anything to humiliate him on camera. She's in a bad position; no matter how she handles this, she'll be criticized. "She should be nice and make herself love him because he's such a Nice Guy!" "She should be honest and quit stringing him along like that hag* Molly!" "Why didn't she just tell millions of viewers that he likes to role-play Cousin Larry and Balki during intimacy? Dr. Pepper could've talked them through it!"

The problem is not that Jake likes the '80s. Sure, it was a hideous, tacky decade full of stupid movies that everyone needs to stop quoting, but people are entitled to like it. It's the substituting of a heavy-handed quirk for a personality, and the glee with which he makes those around him uncomfortable by turning all conversations back to it. He reminds me of the kind of person who would eat a huge slice of raw onion while maintaining unblinking eye contact with someone who doesn't like onions: fuckin' weird. Random comparison, I know.

Related, but not totally correlated, is that Jake emits a frequency that some of us pick up on and others don't. It's like how some people like cilantro, but a few of us know it to be the Weed of Satan. We can't expect others to understand, because we're working with different equipment. But my radar, and a few others' here, are detecting the cruel potential lurking under Jacob's calm demeanor. I already sensed it, but when he went from zero to "you have a boyfriend," it was confirmed. He's scary. I think Haley is trying not to set him off, but she's unfortunately not very good at that. I hope they can part amicably and soon.

Ryan, sweetie, come here and let Auntie Joce shave your head. Time for a fresh start, hon. That skunk tail stuck to your noggin ain't it.

*beautiful, thin blonde, AKA, she who must be destroyed 

[lh25]

9 hours ago, qtpye said:

Way back in the day I briefly dated a guy who had less education and had a job that was not considered as ambitious as my job. I had no problem with it but his friends kept bringing it up constantly and talking about how he was "dating up". He could not handle it and became overly sensitive. We did not date for long. 

Hubby is less educated them I am, and same situation with our jobs.  We always knew I'd make a lot more money, and we had some serious conversations about that.  We were lucky in that our friends and family for the most part were very supportive.  That helped.  We will celebrate our 28th anniversary this summer.

But both parties have to be OK with it, sounds like the guy you dated wasn't, and Vincent may not be.  

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, qtpye said:

Way back in the day I briefly dated a guy who had less education and had a job that was not considered as ambitious as my job. I had no problem with it but his friends kept bringing it up constantly and talking about how he was "dating up". He could not handle it and became overly sensitive. We did not date for long. 

I had a situation-ship with a man who was doing less well than I professionally and he was actually pretty cruel about it. When I got a promotion and raise and moved into a place without roommates, he made a "joke" about how I didn't deserve the place. I said "Fuck you, I absolutely deserve it," and I was not kidding, and I made that clear to him. He didn't make that joke again (he was trash in other ways, though).

I have a friend who is married to a man with less education (she went to college, he did not) and a blue-collar job and who comes from a less affluent background than she does, and her parents don't like him pretty much solely because of that, but she and he are one of the happiest couples I know. However, I also have a friend who dated a man with less education and job stability than she did, and he was very insecure. He was constantly talking about how he wasn't good enough for her - which he was not, but not because of that (he was horrible). It's a conversation Vincent and Brianna have to have. If Vincent's income fluctuates, Brianna needs to be the financial backbone of the two of them, which she may not mind - but it gives her less flexibility to change jobs, pursue different and possibly lower-paying career paths, pursue entrepreneurship of her own, etc. I have a friend who is the breadwinner and has more education than her husband, and she hates her job but finding a new one is harder than it could otherwise be because she has to make a certain amount of money for their household to run. Brianna may not mind; they just have to talk about it.

11 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

I'm a meat lover so Jacob's diet wouldn't phase me very much, but I could see someone who is into salads and lighter meals not being into the monotony of steak and eggs over and over. 

As someone for whom cooking is a hobby, I just think it's boring to eat the same thing every day. It would mean we eat different meals, which is fine - there are people who have different dietary restrictions so don't eat the same stuff (e.g. my friend is vegan and her husband is not, so they don't eat the same meals). Jake can eat all the steak and eggs he wants, but I would not be joining him.

9 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Ryan, sweetie, come here and let Auntie Joce shave your head. Time for a fresh start, hon. That skunk tail stuck to your noggin ain't it.

It's bad. Also is he flat-ironing it? His brother has curly hair.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

24 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

 

As someone for whom cooking is a hobby, I just think it's boring to eat the same thing every day. It would mean we eat different meals, which is fine - there are people who have different dietary restrictions so don't eat the same stuff (e.g. my friend is vegan and her husband is not, so they don't eat the same meals). Jake can eat all the steak and eggs he wants, but I would not be joining him.

 

I totally agree on separate meals or maybe expanding upon a date's meal to suit my tastes.  I could not eat steak and eggs exclusively for every meal every day like Jake, but I do eat various cuts of meat, some eggs, fruit, vegetables and bread daily.  I love to cook too and everyday I'm excited to cook myself fun and well balanced meals and I definitely give into my sweet tooth with dessert or candy.  Jacob could benefit from varying his protein with elk, buffalo, chicken, ground beef, goat, lamb etc and incorporating more vegetables in his diet.