S05.E18: A Real Handful

[OnceSane]

Quote

Tom becomes incensed over a provisioning mishap, while Malia and Bugsy struggle to manage the fallout; Rob and Alex find themselves ogled by the final charter guests of the season; a group photo with Rob and Aesha sends Jess over the edge.

Airs September 28, 2020.

[pieinmyeye]

I hope Milaria gets caught in the galley. Tom, you are nothing but a petulant little bitch. No one put a gun to your head and made you stay on the boat.

Edited September 29, 2020 by pieinmyeye

[65mickey]

So Sandy calls a meeting to get the crew ready for the last charter and Tom sits there seething with anger and Malia pouts. Sandy tells Melia to stay out of the galley and she hightails it down there as soon as Sandy's back is turned.  It seems that Tom needs  both Malia and Bugs in the galley to do his job. He is a complete little bitch and Melia is enabling him. 

[Shauna]

Malia is so far up Tom's ass.  It's pissing me off that she is coddling him so much.  Cringey and extremely embarrassing. 

God, he's such a baby.

 

 

 

Poultry on a mega yacht?   I'd throw it overboard and demand lobster.

[nytonc]

I think Tom might be even worse than Leon. What a prissy little bitch!  I think Malia is used to running interference for him. She acts like a domestic violence victim, making excuses for her abuser.  If he was so concerned about the crappy provisions, why didn’t he meet the provisioner on the dock?  He could have refused everything right there and tried to find replacements.  
 

Sandy put on quite the heartfelt performance during her team talk.  I think I might have seen a tear. No one is buying it, Sandy! 

[Kiss my mutt]

Insubordinate much, Tom? Good lord, Sandy should have brought the hammer down instead of crying. This tool needs to be jollied along every step of the way and I hope Malia’s eyes are opened just how unhealthy this codependency is. 

[tabloidlover]

I guess Tom  doesn’t have big boy britches to pull up? 

[esco1822]

Aw, the irony of the definition of insanity is so completely lost on DD-Jess. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Yeah, Malia is going to have to change his diapers as long as they’re together. 

[pieinmyeye]

Jess and Tom both need to grow up. Her jealousy is so high school. In addition to Rob not doing anything inappropriate, he’s helping to ensure you get a good tip. Idiot.

Edited October 4, 2020 by pieinmyeye

[nytonc]

1 minute ago, pieinmyeye said:

Jess and Tom both need to grow up. Her jealousy is so high school. In addition to not doing anything inappropriate, he’s helping to ensure you get a good tip. Idiot.

Proof of my theory that breast implants are made out of brain cells.

[PaperTree]

Hey Tom!  If you want respect, stop acting like a petulant 4 year old.

It's fun watching pissed-off Sandy.  I actually agree with her for once.  Suck it up, yachties!  Tom continues his whining followed by a full meltdown.  

That stuff will thaw by dinner.  Wrap it in plastic, put it in cold water and check it every half hour or so.  The guests loved lunch and he's complaining.  I wouldn't want him in my kitchen.

Mal-ia deserves this loser.  The "lead deckhand" thing is silly.  You have one charter left and it can only sow dissension.  Lots of Pete sightings!

Jess needs to grow up and get over her jealousy issues.

Cat-fighting guests!!!

[pieinmyeye]

1 minute ago, esco1822 said:

Aw, the irony of the definition of insanity is so completely lost on DD-Jess. 

I thought the exact same thing!

[Pop Tart]

Malia just said on WWHL that Tom cheated on her with someone on another boat and she’s now single. All of which happened since the reunion when they were all over each other according to Andy.

Oh and loved how Malia seems to pick and choose when to follow orders. Sandy gave her a direct order to stay out of the galley and she completely ignored that. 

[Jack Sampson]

4 minutes ago, Pop Tart said:

Malia just said on WWHL that Tom cheated on her with someone on another boat and she’s now single. All of which happened since the reunion when they were all over each other according to Andy.

And Sandy feels a rush of excitement, thinking she has a shot.

[esco1822]

It may just be the edible I ate but it didn’t look like Aesha “grabbed” Rob’s ass. There is far too much insecurity in this 3 week relationship.

[Pop Tart]

2 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

It may just be the edible I ate but it didn’t look like Aesha “grabbed” Rob’s ass. There is far too much insecurity in this 3 week relationship.

Jess is certainly over the top with her jealousy, but I’m equally turned off by Rob’s oh so emo ways.

[Lassus]

OH MY GOD SANDY NOW YOUR ENTIRE CREW HATES YOU.

 

It would be hilarious if one of the guests fell off the boat while Sandy was being a weirdo.

[esco1822]

Malia on WWHL “I think Jess is insane.” 😂

[Lassus]

Tom has gone insane.

[PaperTree]

They keep pushing the "party line" on Hannah's very legal "drugs" incident. 

Sandy just said Captain Lee agreed with her.  Is that true?

[Pop Tart]

4 minutes ago, Lassus said:

 

It would be hilarious if one of the guests fell off the boat while Sandy was being a weirdo.

 

Yeah I kept wishing something like that had happened (with everyone all right of course) while Malia was babysitting Tom.

[esco1822]

2 minutes ago, PaperTree said:

Sandy just said Captain Lee agreed with her.  Is that true?

I don’t think he actively agreed or disagreed. I think he said he wasn’t there and didn’t have all the information so he can’t judge the situation. If he did agree, he’s a hypocrite because that’s not at all how he handled a similar situation with Kat.

[Pop Tart]

3 minutes ago, PaperTree said:

 

They keep pushing the "party line" on Hannah's very legal "drugs" incident. 

Sandy just said Captain Lee agreed with her.  Is that true?

 

Pretty sure he had a tweet or retweet at the time that suggested he did not agree, but I could be misremembering.

I could almost, maybe, kind of accept that Malia did what she thought was best. Almost. But she’s so smug and when asked to say something nice about Hannah she can’t think of anything. 

[PaperTree]

I think I remember that too.

Malia didn't have to snitch on Hannah right away.  The prescription was right on the box and Hannah said she hadn't taken any, which could easily be checked. 

eta:  she was mad about the cabin situation and saw a shot she could take.

Edited September 29, 2020 by PaperTree

[Marley]

God Tom is such a fucking baby. I think there might be something wrong with him.

[njbchlover]

This is just nuts.  Tom is a raving maniac and Jess is scary crazy jealous.  I wouldn't want to go anywhere near that yacht!  

Tom's behavior and comments proved my theory that he really had no interest in being on the show and he did it for Malia (gee - that worked out well, didn't it?)  

Jess is very scary - Aesha should watch her back, especially when they are both in the galley together with all those knives and kitchen utensils.

[Lassus]

45 minutes ago, Pop Tart said:

Yeah I kept wishing something like that had happened (with everyone all right of course) while Malia was babysitting Tom.

But people already got upset because she dove in the water once to help someone.  😉

[mbaywife123]

Oh for cripes sake Tom, it's food,fresh or frozen you are a chef and should be able to make it delicious, shut the hell up you whiney ass and cook some damn food!

No surpise that Malia and Tiny Tom are no longer together, same goes for bunny boiler Jess and shallow Rob.

I really have to give Bugs credit, she hung in there like a true interior leader and treated the guests with upbeat service and didn't let the crew drama push her off her game or her expected standards.

Capt. Sandy still irks me but at least this episode she seems to have finally put the entire crew on notice about service, standards and attitudes, about damn time!

[Kiki777]

Yay Alex for getting the lead deckhand title.  Too bad Malia immediately ordered him to go help Tom after Sandy told her to stay out of the galley.

Bugsy is actually kinda cute when she lays off the accessories.  She bears a slight resemblance to Sara Michelle Geller (I think I’m spelling at least one of those names wrong but whatever lol)

[Caseysgirl]

I am once again NOT team Sandy - why did she talk the guests into seating for dinner before the the planned time; why did she call a staff meeting when they were already behind because the clients were coming early. Why did she insist that nobody give Tom extra help but most of all, why did she fire Kiko when he didn’t meet “ big yacht” standards but basically told the crew “ do the minimum of you have to”.  Meanwhile, Tom learned a lot from Gordon Ramsey - mostly how to throw pots and pans around.

[TexasGal]

All the time Tom spent whining and bitching he could have spent planning fixes with what he did have or, I dunno, thawing fish?  Damn you Tom for making me agree with Sandy!

[endure]

I could be wrong here but I thought Sandy actually came down hysterically wrong on Tom over the frozen halibut, she had a hissy fit herself. It wasn’t Tom that said the halibut was frozen, it was Bugsy.  I actually think Sandy was no better than Tom.  And don’t take this that I am defending Tom because I don’t like him, he is very high strung and needy. If others saw it differently please say.  I also don’t think Aeysha meant anything with her hand position.

[endure]

3 hours ago, PaperTree said:

They keep pushing the "party line" on Hannah's very legal "drugs" incident. 

Sandy just said Captain Lee agreed with her.  Is that true?

Why on earth would she even bring this up, wow, I guess she didn’t grow any over this horror story of hers.  I now hate her even more.

[lcarolynl]

Tom is the WORST!!!

Sandy is a poor leader. She has always criticized individuals in front of the whole crew. Praise in public, punish in private. 

Tom has the whole crew dancing around his lack of emotional control. I get that most chefs are unreasonably emotional sometimes but with Tom, it's ALL THE TIME!! When is he in control and not having a hissy fit? Surely there was a moment but none comes to mind.

Malia deserves all that she is getting and more. She wanted Tom on board and she wanted Tom in her room. Now there's no escaping him. All day and all night, he's bitching and moaning about everything.
Try making Tom happy Malia. Try harder!  <insert evil laugh>

[biakbiak]

Sandy should be studied in management classes for how to make the wrong decision at every turn, it’s almost remarkable. I would find it amusing if Sandy didn’t genuinely believe that she was an awesome leader and good at her job. Her conversation with Bugsy who clearly has a relationship with the provisioner and it’s clearly part of her job was not only a waste of time it undermined everyone involved.

Also, she has worked with Malia for about 12 weeks telling her she is her “pride and joy” is so odd just like everything else about her.

Edited September 29, 2020 by biakbiak

[PaperTree]

30 minutes ago, endure said:

Why on earth would she even bring this up, wow, I guess she didn’t grow any over this horror story of hers.  I now hate her even more.

Andy brought it up on WWHL regarding the social media venom directed at her and Mal-ia.

They're sticking hard to their stories.

[PaperTree]

Sandy keeps invoking this nebulous "Maritime Law".

As a poster nicely wrote a few episodes back, there really is no such universal thing.  Each country sets its own rules.  I don't think they ever left Spanish waters, and we have no idea what Spanish law is.

Just realized each season they seem to stay in one country.

Then Sandy has the nerve to claim she really did Hannah a favor because she wanted to get married and have babies.  Not sure if Sandy realized Hannah was probably done after this season, anyway, but that's a bit much.   She wanted Hannah gone and whined to the owner.

Finally, Sandy makes up a lie on the fly when asked why she didn't slice the damn cucumber.

She said there's a rule that only the chef can touch the food.  Since when?  The others are always (especially now with Chef Whiney) helping prepare food.  Just tonight Mal-ia unwrapped some meat and put it on a plate.

[Jack Sampson]

6 hours ago, njbchlover said:

Tom's behavior and comments proved my theory that he really had no interest in being on the show and he did it for Malia (gee - that worked out well, didn't it?) 

Tom VERY MUCH wanted to be on TV.  He probably thought this would catapult him to being the next celebrity chef.  Instead, he looks like an incompetent, petulant child and he knows it's hurting his career.

Or...he's just upset about his dying uncle who he never mentions.  Oops, he mentioned him once.

Edited September 29, 2020 by Jack Sampson

[ihartcoffee]

I don't know who made me cringe more,  Jess and Rob sucking face with sound..... or Tom throwing a huge hissy fit with Malia chasing him around.  

Tom has serious issues. Being a chef is no pass.  

 

[Lassus]

The thing about Tom going on and on about his reputation constantly is that he's on a goddamned vacation boat.  No one at Food & Wine gives a single shit that you couldn't serve fresh halibut one day on ONE STUPID BOAT.  You aren't at The French Laundry or Le Bernadin, you nitwit.

I mean, I honestly hated the tantrums that everyone's favorite Chef Ben threw and was always forgiven for, but he still made it work.  This from Tom is just another level of stupidity.  Part of me has to wonder if he wasn't vetted for this temper and tantrum level by some utterly brilliant intern at BRAVO just for this purpose.  If so, they deserve a raise.

[JennyMominFL]

3 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Tom VERY MUCH wanted to be on TV.  He probably thought this would catapult him to being the next celebrity chef.  Instead, he looks like an incompetent, petulant child and he knows it's hurting his career.

Or...he's just upset about his dying uncle who he never mentions.  Oops, he mentioned him once.

Yeah, I think he thought he could pretend to be Gordon Ramsay and viewers would love him

[laprin]

Tom’s temper makes me think he can get physically abusive. We know for a fact he can be verbally abusive. I think Sandy tipped around him. Instead of confronting him directly and in private about the way he spoke to her, she seemed to want the safety of confronting him in a group setting. Every decision she made was poor - allowing the guests on an hour early without consulting the crew, letting guests seat themselves early for dinner, getting on Bugsy who was correctly assisting Tom and correcting Tom in public. She is an awful leader.

[njbchlover]

I don't understand how Tom seems to be so worried about his reputation because the provisions are not sent correctly and he has to make it work, but doesn't seem to be at all worried about his reputation as a short tempered, pan throwing tyrant that has everyone tip-toeing around him.  The guests, thus far, seem to be very happy with the dishes he is putting out - I don't get the issue with his "reputation".

[ihartcoffee]

24 minutes ago, Lassus said:

The thing about Tom going on and on about his reputation constantly is that he's on a goddamned vacation boat.  No one at Food & Wine gives a single shit that you couldn't serve fresh halibut one day on ONE STUPID BOAT.  You aren't at The French Laundry or Le Bernadin, you nitwit.

I mean, I honestly hated the tantrums that everyone's favorite Chef Ben threw and was always forgiven for, but he still made it work.  This from Tom is just another level of stupidity.  Part of me has to wonder if he wasn't vetted for this temper and tantrum level by some utterly brilliant intern at BRAVO just for this purpose.  If so, they deserve a raise.

Exactly,  Ben and even Adam could be real jerks.  And I get that the chef role has to be highly stressful.  They seem to cook all day long.  But Tom was punching walls and storming between his cabin and the galley.  This is next level hysterics. 

It was uncomfortable to watch a grown man do that.  

[Baltimore Betty]

5 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Her conversation with Bugsy who clearly has a relationship with the provisioner and it’s clearly part of her job was not only a waste of time it undermined everyone involved.

We have never seen Capt. Lee call the provisioner about anything, he let everyone do their job.  It is easier for the provisioner to deal with one person for an order,  why did Sandy need to step in at all, it was being handled and only went sideways when she stuck her nose in it.  Also, frozen fish fillets do not take much time to defrost in time for dinner prep, you can put it in a sink in the plastic vacuum seal package it arrived in and run the faucet over it, if it was a thick steak then it would not be ready but thin cuts of fish, easy.

As soon as we learned the charter would be all women I knew there would be some conflict about meals and preference sheets, flirting with crew members and dissention among the women. 

I just want to know if Chef Tom will share his boiled bunny recipe with Jess 'cause Aesha needs to be taught a lesson, lol.

Chef Tom is acting no different than any other chef that has ever worked in any sort of kitchen.

[RoxiP]

When did Malia become responsible for every single thing that happened on the boat?  The last time I heard I thought the kitchen was part of the interior (Bugsy) responsibility - why wasn't Bugsy in there making sure that Tom got the assistance he needed?  You would have thought the weight of the whole yacht weighed on Malia's tiny little shoulders!  

Sandy and Malia continued to be reprehensible on WWHL.  Obviously they have been told to blame Hannah for everything - I'm sure she has even caused natural disasters at this point.  What is up with Captain Sandy's huge teeth?  Have they always been that big?

Jess needs to chill out - too bad she can't borrow some of Hannah's legal drugs.

I don't get to check into a cheap motel before the check-in time - why the heck did these women get to check into the yacht early?  That caused a great deal of inconvenience for the crew and was unnecessary.

Not only Pete sightings but they even said his name!  If we were playing a drinking game that would have been a double shot!

Edited September 29, 2020 by RoxiP

[Pop Tart]

Tom the baby, Malia the enabler, Sandy the chaos queen. It's all been mentioned.

But I think my favorite moment of the show was Aesha answering the question in her talking head if she had groped Rob during the photo. She gave a kind of horrified no and then said that she wasn't attracted to him and how aggressive his face is right up close. Not that he's aggressive, but that all those angles coming at you! Made me laugh and she hit it on the head for me. I haven't found him attractive either even though he was a model.

He has that thing that many female models have, where they look kind of sharp, angular and strange in person, but in photos? They look phenomenally different. Someone linked on another episode to the Taylor Swift photo shoot that Rob did and he did look handsome (which for me could be 90% due to the tuxedo he was wearing). But on the show he's just too aggressively angular (thank you Aesha).

[Milan]

I do not understand what it is with these cry baby chefs onboard the Below deck yachts. It must be that the production chooses the weirdest ones to keep it interesting. And off course, the production makes sure the groceries come in late or incomplete.

For a real chef, working on a yacht with 6-10 guests , not even "a la carte" is a joke. You have 24h only to cook for 6-10 people, and you have a list of what they do and do not like. How hard can it be. 

A normal chef will kick out at least 100 - 200 dishes out per lunch, and the same amount for a dinner (in a restaurant). 

And then Tom ALWAYS has somebody helping him. It must be a set up, because for a normal chef this would be a piece of cake.

As far as the behaviour of Tom, ALL chefs do behave like this, they are human too, and sometimes people can get on your nerves.

 

Malia is still pissing me off, every time I see her. By the way, she is not really in command of the deck. You have a Captain and a chief officer who commands the bosun. On the series the chief officer and the engine room engineers are not in the picture because they probably need to have at least a few persons onboard that are not cry babies ad weirdos. 

I wonder if these guys also get a part of the tip?

[TexasGal]

6 minutes ago, Milan said:

Malia is still pissing me off, every time I see her. By the way, she is not really in command of the deck. You have a Captain and a chief officer who commands the bosun. On the series the chief officer and the engine room engineers are not in the picture because they probably need to have at least a few persons onboard that are not cry babies ad weirdos. 

I wonder if these guys also get a part of the tip?

I think Captain Lee has confirmed in the past that yes, the crew members we don't see share in the tip as well.  The ones that actually know what they're doing.  🙂

Did the one co-primary have a special kind of cast on her arm?  I was surprised to see her in the water with that thing on.