S11.E07: The Honeymoon is Over

[princelina]

12 hours ago, Cancun said:

I don’t recall the experts doing home visits (at least not being shown them) since the early seasons. I wish they would, as those scenes were always fun!

I'm pretty sure we were shown some this season (I remember Karen for some reason - I think because I was checking out her cool headwrap 😄 ) but I don't remember the others.

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

No, this is the best cast this show has ever had. The sad part will be that they are such a fun city but will have to stay in due to quarantine.

But would we have gotten to see them do fun things in a fun city, or just watched them sitting around talking about their communication? 😄 

[DrewPaul2010]

The over all point Woody was making wasn't about hair it was at the forest level that by and large they need to work on consensus especially on the big ticket items. The point is as a couple, a unit a team can no longer act autonomously as when single. The issue Woody did bring up a topic we don't talk about or acknowledge that his ex partner aborted their child without a word to him. The biological donor has no say so in the abortion puzzle. Of course we don't consult with the baby either. Interestingly is that Amani agreed with him even though carrying a child nine months is much more significant than a hair-do. As for balding naturally its a far cry from shaving off hair or if going through chemo...

[gladitsover]

1 hour ago, Porkchop said:

I can't believe that the producers would pick someone with as flat a personality as Henry to be on this show. There's no way he was charming, warm and witty in the interviews. ChristinA is a downer, but Henry does not have what it takes to be half of any relationship.

 

I think he was pushed into it by Reality show friend and his other friends, because they figure this may be the only way for him to get married. He has no game, nor interest, it seems. I think the friends thought they were doing him a favor. But why did the experts or producers pick him?? Rhetorical question, but now that I think of it, the producers like to "fix" people - i.e. pair them with someone to fix their issues, rather than pair them with someone compatible. So they want XtinA to push HennyPenny out of his comfort zone (or down a set of stairs...), which is not fair to her - he should not be her project. 

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, TheMediumBopper said:

In terms of the Brett vs. Olivia Finance Debate, I'm absolutely Team Brett. His financial practicality actually makes him a lot more attractive than he seemed before. And honestly, I didn't think his place looked too bad. He could have reined in the comment about Olivia's pink bathroom, but on the whole he is making a much better showing than pissy Olivia up to this point.

I'm still squarely in the middle disliking both of them. Brett's practicality can be a great attribute, until one is sitting around all the time because he can't spring a dime on a bit of entertainment now & then. No jumping on me please because I'm not saying he's that rigid though - right now the edits are making them both seem stuck in their ways & needing some balance in their lives, but I don't see them working this out together.

On a superficial note I don't think either of them are physically attractive, but Brett's sarcastic sneer & Olivia's stink face aren't helping this either IMO.

[gladitsover]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

Henry is getting a weird edit & I think he & ChristinA have talked more than we know, & he knows things about her he doesn't like. Previews say he's concerned about a "pattern of dishonesty", & with her previous living arrangements being unclear I'm curious as to what he will have to say. This could've started early (like even at the wedding when she told him where she was supposedly living), but we don't know what he's picking up on yet. Whether from nerves or something particular, I feel badly for him when they zoom in on his tics - shithead editors as usual.

I think Miles is getting a bit of a weird edit - they keep showing him looking sad, to emphasize that he might be depressed RIGHT NOW! but really he's just listening or thinking. Someone who deals with depression isn't always sad or depressed (which is more of being numb to feeling) - the producers are playing in to a stereotype.

[gonecrackers]

1 minute ago, gladitsover said:

I think Miles is getting a bit of a weird edit - they keep showing him looking sad, to emphasize that he might be depressed RIGHT NOW! but really he's just listening or thinking. Someone who deals with depression isn't always sad or depressed (which is more of being numb to feeling) - the producers are playing in to a stereotype.

I really hope they aren't going in that direction as that's douchy of them too.

[gladitsover]

12 hours ago, Soup333 said:

I think Karen is making their age difference a bigger deal than it needs to be. She’s looking, hard, for the other shoe to drop and for Miles to disappoint in some way. I kinda think she might be okay with time but *shrug* could go either way.

 

With all their combined shoes, the shoe dropping could be dangerous!

[seacliffsal]

I think Olivia really wants her money to be her money and that her husband would pay for everything else.  I was getting a lot of Jasmine vibes from her (I think that's the name of the woman who wanted her husband to pay for everything while she spent her own money [and he was having none of that]).  It's very telling that when Pastor Cal was there Olivia said that she told them what she wanted-someone with money.  Not someone who was caring, intelligent, funny, etc., but someone who made at least what she made (although she also earlier stated that she didn't care if her husband made less than she did).  She cares a lot about the income level of her husband.  I have come across many people who spend what they think they make and never really account for all of the deductions taken out of one's paycheck.  She knows what her salary is and may expect to be able to spend that amount, but what with various types of taxes and other deductions she may way overspend.  However, what shocked me the most about her statements what that she equates entertainment with living life.  She mentioned more than once that she didn't want to miss out on living life and having life experiences while connecting that with travel, etc.  What she doesn't understand is that living life means dealing with broken appliances, compromising with others, dealing with day-in/day-out routines and chores, etc.  She seems to think that travel and expensive meals are the only way of living life.  She actually seems quite immature to me (well, and selfish as she wants what she wants without consideration of her husband's ability to take on those expenses).  Move over on that bench for Team Brett...

Am I the only one who was bothered when everyone looked out their windows by widening the individual blinds rather than just pulling up the blinds?  That's how one gets bent blinds.

I think Bennett and Amelia are very aware of the cameras.  There was a look Amelia had when she first entered Bennett's detached bedroom (thanks previous poster for that insightful description of where he lived) which quickly changed to "I looooooove this..."  

I continue to really like Amani and am glad that Pastor Cal helped them work through their communication.  I'm also glad that he tried to help Amelia and Bennett understand that there may be future disagreements.  

I think that both Christina and Henry are showing their negative attributes because neither one of them is happy with the match.  

Overall, I thought Pastor Cal did well with the couples.

[Neurochick]

I still don't like Brett.  He made a nasty comment about renting.  He might be one of those people who were raised that ONLY if you OWN a home are you successful.  Still, I think he puts all of the money in his home, while Olivia likes to go on vacations, nothing wrong with either thing.  But they might be at an impasse.  

 

Quote

However, what shocked me the most about her statements what that she equates entertainment with living life.  She mentioned more than once that she didn't want to miss out on living life and having life experiences while connecting that with travel, etc.  What she doesn't understand is that living life means dealing with broken appliances, compromising with others, dealing with day-in/day-out routines and chores, etc.  She seems to think that travel and expensive meals are the only way of living life.  She actually seems quite immature to me (well, and selfish as she wants what she wants without consideration of her husband's ability to take on those expenses).  Move over on that bench for Team Brett...

But, entertainment is PART of living life, so are having experiences.  Life isn't 100% dealing with day to day issues.  If all Brett wants to do is deal with day to day issues, that would be a problem for me.  Life isn't supposed to be 100% a veil of tears.

Edited August 27, 2020 by Neurochick

[Spectator]

I kind of love that Amelia woke up wearing a full-on bear onesie, complete with face and ears AND later that day Bennett was sporting a full-face white mask on the back of his head under his hat, and there was absolutely no mention of either on the show. Those two provide production with so much TV worthy material the show doesn’t even need to mention most of their oddities (I’m SO glad they aired the footage of them building a fort then sleeping in it, though...that was awesome).
 

Contrast that to Henry and Christina, where the producers have to dig so so so deep to find even just 30 seconds of footage worth airing. The chick(en) with the crown made it into two of their segments. 

[Starlight925]

Henry may have Tourette's.  His tics remind me of the tics that Loren from 90-Day Fiance has (she's been very vocal about her Tourette's).

I'm glad he finally spoke up about Christina being impatient, etc.  She with her snarled-up face walking through his home, while a visit to her home would have had to involve a drive around the block in the car-house she inhabits.

Bennett and Amelia could compromise:  Live in City X for 3 years during her residency, then settle back to New Orleans.  Plus, she'll be working insane hours, so Bennett could keep his production company warm via solo visits home to NO.  Not sure why a compromise hasn't been discussed.

Edited August 27, 2020 by Starlight925

[Linarina]

What did Miles wipe off the end of the lighter?  Weed...residue...?  lol, I know nothing about drugs, so I'm not sure that's a thing.  But it was definitely something he didn't want the cameras catching, and Karen then realized what had happened, and both of them got wide-eyed and giggly before Miles abruptly changed the subject! 

[cinsays]

48 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I still don't like Brett.  He made a nasty comment about renting.  He might be one of those people who were raised that ONLY if you OWN a home are you successful.  Still, I think he puts all of the money in his home, while Olivia likes to go on vacations, nothing wrong with either thing.  But they might be at an impasse.  

 

But, entertainment is PART of living life, so are having experiences.  Life isn't 100% dealing with day to day issues.  If all Brett wants to do is deal with day to day issues, that would be a problem for me.  Life isn't supposed to be 100% a veil of tears.

And Brett never said he doesn't like/want experiences, just not the super expensive ones that Olivia does.  He just has interests that don't line up with hers.

[Neurochick]

2 minutes ago, cinsays said:

And Brett never said he doesn't like/want experiences, just not the super expensive ones that Olivia does.  He just has interests that don't line up with hers.

But what are his interests?  

[cinsays]

1 minute ago, Neurochick said:

But what are his interests?  

Don't think they have gone into that very deeply, what with all the showing of some stuff over and over, taking up time.  He likes to work out, cook, use tools for something, drink with his buddies. We really haven't seen what most of these people like to do.

[Retired at last]

I think Brett has expressed interest in working out, wasn't he one with gaming set-ups, maintaining his yard, playing with his cat, etc. And I am sure he would love to go on a vacation - one that has been saved for and not put on a credit card.

[DrewPaul2010]

52 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I still don't like Brett.  He made a nasty comment about renting.  He might be one of those people who were raised that ONLY if you OWN a home are you successful.  Still, I think he puts all of the money in his home, while Olivia likes to go on vacations, nothing wrong with either thing.  But they might be at an impasse.  

 

But, entertainment is PART of living life, so are having experiences.  Life isn't 100% dealing with day to day issues.  If all Brett wants to do is deal with day to day issues, that would be a problem for me.  Life isn't supposed to be 100% a veil of tears.

Entertainment and socializing is definitely a big part of what makes us human. I often have far more fun socializing with other couples at a BBQ then going to some formal restaurant. I've been to NFL football games and its fun but I've had just a riotous time with family and friends in front of TV with tons of food and drink. Is she ever planning to have kids? If having children doesn't impact your free lifestyle...there is something wrong with you. A spouse and children are designed to get your mind off yourself and on to those people and you might find the deepest satisfaction and happiness in life when you are focused on others...

 

[Starlight925]

Re:  Brett's interests.  He's into his tools/work area (not sure what he makes/builds, but it takes up a lot of his room), working out, gaming, and hanging with his family (they do seem close).  Olivia's interests simply cost more money:  One Saints game for 2 can cost $300+, when you factor in tickets, parking, food.  One trip, say a domestic location like Napa, can cost several thousand $.

They simply don't have interests that line up, it seems.  Heck, this would be such an easy compromise:  one Saints game a year to attend, plus have Saints viewing parties/sports bars for the others.  Travel to drivable destinations, except maybe one flying trip every other year.  Stuff like that.

Each has their heels dug in so far, it hurts.

Brett thinks he's better than Olivia because he owns, and she thinks she's better than Brett because she lives in a "cute bungalow" filled with ancient tchotzkes.  For the record, I don't think either is better than the other, but they are sitting on opposite sides of the fence, heels dug in like toddlers who are being made to eat asparagus.

[Kiss my mutt]

Olivia and Brett make Karen and Miles look like a match made in heaven. I won’t even mention Olivia and Henry because I think they are just done if the previews are any indication and isn’t one of those bait and switch producer moves. 

[spunky]

I loved Pastor Cal calling both Christina and Karen out. I wish he didn’t let Olivia slide, maybe he got sidetracked by their escalating argument. 

Yes Christina you are most definitely a diva, now wear your crown with pride. Henry in a round about way said he was attracted to Christina physically but her personality is unattractive. I think he was turned off at the reception when she kept going on about her missing earring while he was trying to have a conversation with her.

You heard it live Karen, you are no longer strangers you’re married. I get her being guarded,  because for some reason she’s been attracted to scrubs in the past. I also think she grew up in a household where keeping up appearances was a must. I got that from her mom’s reaction to her getting married at first sight. She definitely gave off “what would the neighbors think” vibes. I do appreciate both Karen and Pastor Cal encouraging Miles to vocalize his needs.
 

Why is Olivia down playing Brett having a house? That is a huge accomplishment,especially for a single man in his thirties. I also agree that if you’re in debt expensive vacations and season tickets to the Saints games should not be a priority. I get what Brett was trying to say, he would rather save now and be able to enjoy his retirement later rather than spend unnecessary money and be in debt until he retires. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to travel, however you can enjoy nice things while on a budget. I hate that I’m agreeing with Brett. Pastor Cal did not seem to try very hard when they were arguing. It was like he washed his hands of that mess the minute the other two experts decided that putting them together would be “a challenge” but they’re still a good match.

 

Woody should know better than to ever try and tell a black woman what to do with her hair. We don’t play those games Woody. I understand wanting to have a discussion about things because of what his ex did, but he was comparing apples and oranges. 

Edited August 28, 2020 by spunky

[humbleopinion]

20 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Bennett could keep his production company warm via solo visits home to NO.  Not sure why a compromise hasn't been discussed.

Covid will make what they filmed in February seems outdated and the virus  have been the tipping point since All types of live entertainment  in front of an audience shut down in March....No pedi cab since the tourist Industry shut down also.

Match Day is 3/20/2020 so we will find out their fate in the course of the show...

He can do his financial writing for hire, his writing plays, song writing anywhere.
He may decide tagging along with Amelia, having Spouse sponsored health and dental insurance is worth a change of location since he can’t perform and the theater is closed....if she doesn’t get matched in NO.

[Neurochick]

5 minutes ago, spunky said:

Woody should know better than to ever try and tell a black woman what to do with her hair. We don’t play those games Woody. I understand wanting to have a discussion about things because of what his ex did, but he was comparing apples and oranges. 

If you're in a relationship with another human being, you can't just decide all by yourself to make a drastic change to your person without at least discussing it with your partner.  It's being kind.  If you want to do whatever you want to do, then stay single.

As far as Amani being a black woman, I'm a black woman and that doesn't give me the right to think "you can't tell ME what to do with MY hair."  And after watching "To Catch a Beautician" sometimes you should talk to someone before just getting your hair done.

[DrewPaul2010]

16 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Henry may have Tourette's.  His tics remind me of the tics that Loren from 90-Day Fiance has (she's been very vocal about her Tourette's).

I'm glad he finally spoke up about Christina being impatient, etc.  She with her snarled-up face walking through his home, while a visit to her home would have had to involve a drive around the block in the car-house she inhabits.

Bennett and Amelia could compromise:  Live in City X for 3 years during her residency, then settle back to New Orleans.  Plus, she'll be working insane hours, so Bennett could keep his production company warm via solo visits home to NO.  Not sure why a compromise hasn't been discussed.

From a website...

Motor tics involve movement. They include:

Arm or head jerking

Blinking

Making a face

Mouth twitching

Shoulder shrugging

I read there are effective medicines that can diminish the motor tics. For a man conscience about his hair you would think he'd take them. I assume it is involuntary and tense situations seem to bring it out. The editing may exaggerate or even hide how often it occurs.

Do they actually sleep together in the same bed? I'm trying to place myself in this situation where I agreed to let someone pick a spouse for me. If it started as a lark but I got indications they were going through with it I would have to be serious about it. If someone picked out a woman for me and that night I meet someone for the first time my voice would be raw for days because I would want to know everything about them. I would hope they would want to know everything about me. I'd start with childhood, up bringing, school days, high school. I probably couldn't sleep much the day before or the night after getting hitched to a stranger. I'm not sure they're even in a friendship zone. 

[Starlight925]

11 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

From a website...

Motor tics involve movement. They include:

Arm or head jerking

Blinking

Making a face

Mouth twitching

Shoulder shrugging

I read there are effective medicines that can diminish the motor tics. For a man conscience about his hair you would think he'd take them. I assume it is involuntary and tense situations seem to bring it out. The editing may exaggerate or even hide how often it occurs.

While yes, there are therapies etc., to help with Tourette's symptoms (not saying that's what Henry has, but it sure looks like it), it appears that it's not 100% helpful.  Watching Loren & Alexei's story on 90-Day Fiance, she still has some of the tics, after all the medical treatment she's gone for.

Henry's tics are almost identical to Loren's, which is what drove me to think that may be a possibility for him.  Loren said that while filming 90-Day Fiance, she spent much of the 1st season "hiding" it from the cameras, sort of turning her head away, or looking away every time she felt a tic coming on.  She finally leaned into it, and she spoke at a Tourette's symposium, speaking to people like her, and basically letting them know they're not alone.  These days, she does little to hide it, and her husband is very aware and supportive.

While I realize that this is NOT the 90-Day Fiance board, I think that Henry could be suffering from something similar.

I'm using a Spoiler tag here, but only because this video is not episode-related:

Spoiler

 

 

Edited August 27, 2020 by Starlight925

[Cancun]

3 hours ago, princelina said:

16 hours ago, Cancun said:

I don’t recall the experts doing home visits (at least not being shown them) since the early seasons. I wish they would, as those scenes were always fun!

I'm pretty sure we were shown some this season (I remember Karen for some reason - I think because I was checking out her cool headwrap 😄 ) but I don't remember the others.

I just rewatched the Matchmaking special. You are correct, the highlights of selected individuals were shown in their homes - and yes, Karen’s headwrap rocked!  But what I was recalling were the early seasons where the experts went to their homes and looked in the fridge, drawers, etc. to “learn who they really are.” Maybe I am dreaming that used to happen??

EDITED:  oops, I wrote the above before fully finishing the Matchmaking special. Yep, Dr. Pepper looked in the fridge and drawers this season. Whew!

I also closely watched the home in which ChristinA was shown during the Matchmaking segment. She and her mom were there, it seemed to be in NOLA, but it looked very impersonal (I looked for pictures, mementos, clothes, anything) and it could have easily been an Air BnB.

Edited August 27, 2020 by Cancun

[humbleopinion]

I was Totally missing the Strong undercurrent of meaning that Woody was expressing in the hair conversation.....

Then abortion and bald headedness enters the room and I was...Wot is going on?

Woody is bringing a sledgehammer to his defend his side that he has a say what happens to Amani’s body and appearance because he had no say about his baby and his girlfriend’s decision to abort.

Amani is so good listening and actively listening, giving him respectful attention until Woody was able to articulate why he needs to be Told that she will be making a change to the length of her hair because he felt powerless and so hurt in the past situation.
She told him that she understood.
That was the highlight  of the show and so riveting.....the editors, for once didn’t Slice and dice it into gibberish so it played out organically...

3 minutes ago, Cancun said:

But what I was recalling were the early seasons where the experts went to their homes and looked in the fridge, drawers, etc. to “learn who they really are.” Maybe I am dreaming that used to happen??

You are correct, Remember Dr. Pepper pulled out the dead ducks From the fridge that Bobby had shot the day before on a hunting trip....

[Adeejay]

3 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

Woody kept going back to what if Amani came home bald. He wasn't  arguing that Amani should consult with him before every trip to her stylist. Just that he'd like to know when she's about to make a drastic, long-lasting or permanent change.

I understand where Woody is coming from.  He would rather they have a discussion before hand.  Case in point. On "90 Day Fiance - The Other Way", Ariela fell in love with a muscular, dreadlocked Ethiopian name Bini.  When pregnant Ari returned to Ethiopia, she was met by a much slimmer Bini without the dreadlocks. She didn't recognize him. Now, she is freaking out, because this isn't the guy she fell in love with.  

[Kiss my mutt]

Hair grows back, so I don’t get the big deal and some women prefer to have close cropped hair if they want to wear wigs or just want a break from the upkeep, it doesn’t matter.  I can understand discussing it but that wasn’t what he was doing. I’m still weirded out by the turn that conversation took and i thought it was a low blow to compare her hair to that. It seemed manipulative because he doesn’t want her to be bald. Getting a neck tattoo is harder to undo so I can understand more of a pro cons discussion about that. 
Maybe it’s symbolic of the need for open discussion and compromise but that wasn’t what I was getting from the way woody handled it. 
I still like them as a couple though, even more than Amelia and Bennett who I’m not quite as sold on as most people are.  

 

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

But what are his interests?  

Home ownership, frugality, retirement funding, getting drunk (with subsequent "Irish goodbyes"), & petting pussies (preferably by the 3rd date).

[Guest]

Karen is really living up to her name. I’m sorry she was cheated on and that her ex had a baby with somebody else, but if you’re going to constantly have that in the back of your head and punish your current partner for it, you need therapy. Miles is not responsible for her baggage. It is not his job to atone for the sins of fuckboys past. You have a partner, not a psychologist or an emotional support animal. Act like it. I’m getting tired of her snarky put downs. “He’s just out of high school!” He RUNS a school! It’s obvious she’s just finding fault with any tiny thing to give herself a false sense of superiority like Katie. You’re 4 years apart, not 20, and Miles is certainly not the one acting like a child in this situation. Grow the fuck up. Karen will make him beg for any scrap of affection. Everything always goes back to her and her past and her comfort level and her judgments. She’s really riding this man’s ass for vague things she assumes he might do, all while asserting she’s the better catch here...because why? You’re older? You’re hard to impress? You’ve done nothing, you’ve contributed nothing, you’ve put zero effort into getting to know him, you’ve made everything about yourself, and to top it all off you’re an emotionally unavailable, highly judgmental asshole. I don’t believe her for a second when she told Miles not to put his needs on the back burner - she just wanted to look good in front of Pastor Cal. In reality, she would probably bully him for bringing up any issue and accuse him of being over emotional to shut down the discussion. She bothers me so much!!!!

While we’re on the subject, Pastor Cal is bad at his job and basically started fights after every couple said they were fine, lol. 

Woody - The cracks are starting to show. I know lots of men have hair preferences, but his level of obsession with Aman'si hair is very bizarre. It is a gigantic and nonsensical leap to connect a partner impulsively shaving their head to your ex-girlfriend aborting your baby after you thought you had agreed to raise it together. Again, so much therapy needs to happen from just that one sentence alone. The entire exchange was very controlling and weird (“I might never be attracted to you again because you changed one superficial thing about yourself that will change again in six weeks but wah wah, you needed to ask me!”). I guess that’s proof that chemistry doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re not willing to let go of your trust issues. He definitely needs to go back to counseling because he needs much more. 

Christina and Henry - does Henry even have a pulse? I get that the producers have been known to match shitty couples for the sake of TV, but the man is barely awake. Everyone keeps talking about how they should’ve matched Olivia and Henry because Henry is nicer than Brett, but they should’ve matched Henry with Karen because they’re both boring as hell with as much affection as robots. I’ve never seen someone who just sits in silence in every conversation just as their default mode. It was interesting to hear him admit that he wasn’t attracted to Christina. I think it’s because she is impatient and she has been rude to production, but I feel like he would be better off bringing up specific instances to her right after they happen or talking about why it makes him uncomfortable rather than just abstract personal criticisms like “you’re impatient.” Then again, he probably doesn’t bring it up because he doesn’t care about staying with her. 

Olivia and Brett - she is materialistic and he’s a cheapskate and both of them refuse to budge or consider they might be overvaluing their respective viewpoints. Olivia, your marriage isn’t going to die because you can’t take biannual trips to Mexico or Greece. I don’t think she’s actually worried about “making memories,” she’s concerned about her lifestyle being threatened. God help her during quarantine. Taking her side though, I would never want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who guilt tripped me about their retirement and pennypinching every time I wanted to buy something or take a vacation. 

I also thought Olivia was incredibly rude visiting Brett’s home. His description of her acting like a bored kid on a field trip was spot on. He obviously took a ton of pride in his home and she was deadpan the entire time because she decided his hobbies and decor were stupid. Says the woman who lives in what looks like a 90-year-old kleptomaniac’s home in 1973. 

Amelia and Bennett continue to define wholesome. I love when he said he will be perfectly happy to raise kids all day because he’d also have the flexibility to pursue his passion projects (just as I thought!) and she whispered “he’s perfect!” She literally did find her Ideal husband. Again, the relocating and biological child issue are manufactured storylines because they basically said this episode that they’ve already talked through them both. They’re both just really lovely people and I wish them nothing but the best. Even though I doubt they would be interested in making money or trying to carve out a social media presence, I hope we see them in future franchises because they are just delightful. 

Edited August 27, 2020 by Guest

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Starlight925 said:

 

Brett thinks he's better than Olivia because he owns, and she thinks she's better than Brett because she lives in a "cute bungalow" filled with ancient tchotzkes.  For the record, I don't think either is better than the other, but they are sitting on opposite sides of the fence, heels dug in like toddlers who are being made to eat asparagus.

There’s  room on the Brett Bench for you.

I used the hand sander from his work bench and it is a smooth as a baby’s butt....

[brilliantbreakfast]

OK, I have to weigh in on this bunch.

1)  Karen and Miles:  Flashback to the wedding and Karen's mother talking about how Miles has to treat Karen the way she "deserves to be treated."  Karen is a woman who was raised to think she's a friggin' princess, but for some reason has low self-esteem anyway (father was mean to Mom perhaps?).  She has a history of being with cheating men, which means that either she's so haughty and mighty that men seek what they need elsewhere but want her as arm candy, or that is what feels comfortable to her.  Miles is clearly not the most exciting guy in the world, but at least on camera, he seems like the kind of good, solid man that you want to marry if you want kids.  He won't rock your world in any aspect of marriage, but he'll be good to you and be faithful. She needs to get some good therapy and find out why she repeats the pattern and can't get behind just a nice, solid guy.

2) Christina and Henry:  I despise them both.  Christina has a ridiculous idea of what relationships and marriage are, she thinks she's far more attractive than she is (though she ROCKED that red top, I must admit), and she's another one who thinks she's all that.  I don't think Henry bought into this whole concept at all.  I think his friend-zoners were sick of him mooning over them and decided to bully him into doing it. He's hopeless. He's not an introvert, he's passive-aggressive on steroids.  One or the other should give up the paycheck from the show and put each other out of their misery.  (Christina, you're a freakin' flight attendant.  You mean there are NO men who have ever wanted to get to know you better? Maybe it's you.)

3)  Woody and Amani:  I LIKE her voice.  I think she's sassy and funny and delightful. I think "Pastor" Cal was just looking to stir stuff up with those two.  I will admit, though, that as someone dealing with hair loss, the idea that someone who loved me would find me unattractive if I was bald was disconcerting.  But then I am a 65-year-old widow for whom that is not an issue except for me.  I think they have a good chance to make it if the so-called "experts" stay out of it.

4) Olivia and Brett:  I don't know why Brett is in this, but it's not because he wants to be married for life.  I get a "walking open wound" vibe out of him from the relentless kidding around and sarcasm from his family.  Imagine being a child in that family before you learn what sarcasm is?  There's a place for it, but when it's relentless it's cruelty.  And of course he passes it along.  If he has issues with someone making a lot more than he does, and if she has issues with someone making less, this should have come up in matching.  Another couple I don't see even making it to the end of the show.

5)  Amelia and Bennett.  How I love these two.  How I want to BE these two.  Yes, both of them.  I was quirky without their courage, and I think they're adorable.  I can't help but have a sense that these two are already a couple anyway and decided to do this as a fun adventure.  Maybe they were planning to marry anyway and this way they got a free wedding, free amazing honeymoon (this was the first resort on MAFS that I'd love to go to), and a bit of a paycheck. I'm not sure how kids raised by Bennett would turn out, though. He's super attractive (in a way that gets more so the more you look at him) and I think she is going to be a pediatrician and I think her bedside manner must be amazing. Just good, sweet, quirky people with a surprisingly lack of emotional baggage compared to most of the others. I'm Team A&B for the win.

[OnTime]

Does this season seem boring? I don't find much excitement to it. 

At least there was entertainment last season, but this season it feels like nothing happens in two hours!

[gonecrackers]

14 minutes ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

While we’re on the subject, Pastor Cal is bad at his job and basically started fights after every couple said they were fine, lol. 

But that means he is good at his job... as a teevee 'counselor'.  They always send someone in to stir the pot & lately it's been him.

14 minutes ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

I love when he said he will be perfectly happy to raise kids all day because he’d also have the flexibility to pursue his passion projects

Bennett seems to think being a SAHD will be soooooooooo easy peasy he'll be able to pursue all his passions while Amelia brings home the bacon. What Bennett doesn't realize is someone has to cook up the bacon, among other things that will actually keep him quite busy with kids around, while she's working. Sometimes full-time-stay-at-home-parenthood can drain the shit out of creativity. Oh, but wait, the kids will ask to go to someone's house & Mr. Free Ranger will wonder why they're even asking & not playing with strangers (who they shouldn't be afraid of-no 'stranger danger' in their household) in the middle of a busy intersection for all he knows- so maybe the kids won't keep him too busy.

Ducking the tomatoes 'cuz these two irk me sometimes.

Edited August 27, 2020 by gonecrackers

[humbleopinion]

Don’t forget that Bennett will be selling Amelia’s jewelry at the Farmer’s Market on the weekends while the kids wander around Barefoot, wild hair, runny noses being watched over by the other vendors.....

[Kiss my mutt]

35 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I understand where Woody is coming from.  He would rather they have a discussion before hand.  Case in point. On "90 Day Fiance - The Other Way", Ariela fell in love with a muscular, dreadlocked Ethiopian name Bini.  When pregnant Ari returned to Ethiopia, she was met by a much slimmer Bini without the dreadlocks. She didn't recognize him. Now, she is freaking out, because this isn't the guy she fell in love with.  

Well, yeah, and she’s getting raked over the coals for it and someone that self centered and entitled should. She fell in love with an “image” not Bini and the reality is sinking in that it isn’t love she felt for him. 

[princelina]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I still don't like Brett.  He made a nasty comment about renting.  He might be one of those people who were raised that ONLY if you OWN a home are you successful.  Still, I think he puts all of the money in his home, while Olivia likes to go on vacations, nothing wrong with either thing.  But they might be at an impasse.  

As a person who has learned that I hate home ownership, I have this argument with people a lot - it's not that they think that you aren't successful, but that you are "throwing money down the drain" without the "equity" of home ownership.  I learned too late that I prefer a landlord 😄   But it seems to me that - in general - if you go on this show as a renter, you should be somewhat prepared that if you fall in love with an owner you'd be moving into their house or buying a new one.  It seems unrealistic to me to think someone would sell the house they worked to purchase just to live in your apartment because it's cozy.

2 hours ago, Spectator said:

I kind of love that Amelia woke up wearing a full-on bear onesie, complete with face and ears AND later that day Bennett was sporting a full-face white mask on the back of his head under his hat, 

Haha I hated that.  Sometimes their quirkiness is exhausting to me.

1 hour ago, Starlight925 said:

Bennett and Amelia could compromise:  Live in City X for 3 years during her residency, then settle back to New Orleans.  Plus, she'll be working insane hours, so Bennett could keep his production company warm via solo visits home to NO.  Not sure why a compromise hasn't been discussed.

It is not the job of the "experts" to discuss compromise.  It is their job to get the happy couples fighting for the camera!  I want to know why Cal didn't ask A&B if they had sex!

I'll stick up for Woody here - I think he was speaking in general terms about he prefers warnings to surprises, and thought that hair would be a non-controversial example.  Boy was he wrong 😄 

 

[Ilovepie]

20 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I just can't get enough of these commercials for feel good Lifetime TV movies... geez. 😒

My husband and I guffawed at "Pool Boy Nightmare"!

[Ilovepie]

8 hours ago, cinsays said:

You're either a saver or a spender and it just doesn't make a good match. 

 

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

My husband is a self-described (and proud!) cheapskate. He earns a great salary. I earn an ok salary and I'm a spender. We get along great but it's mostly because I realized I'm not as responsible with money as I'd like to be and he motivates me to be more responsible and save. At the same time, I motivate him to sometimes splurge a little on himself and not feel guilty about it.

I was just going to say this - sometimes a spender/saver couple help each other! My husband & I make equivalent money - he is in sales so sometimes he makes more, and sometimes I do. We both make good money though either way. I love to shop and travel, and he would rather save the money (for what I don't know). At different times we compromise though, and this enriches both of of our lives because he lives in a nicer house than it would be on his own, and we have traveled to places he would never have visited on his own. I, on the other hand, would have finances like Olivia left to my own devices (which is terrible to admit - I'm an accountant for shit's sake, but my interest in financial matters kind of dies when I leave my office, sadly). It is possible to compromise if you are invested in the relationship! Which, unfortunately, neither of these people are.........

[Boo Boo]

21 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Olivia a made it crystal clear that her money is exactly that and she isn't going to pay any part of her husband's way. What she needs is a travel partner, not a spouse. She's not here for becoming one unit. 

That's what struck me.  Her money is her money.  And she ain't paying for her husband to enjoy all the activities.  Imagine if the roles were reversed. 

But of course, she got what she didn't want as if she's never seen an episode of MAFS despite her fan girling Pastor Cal. 

I wonder if Brett is really that cheap that a vacation is not happening or he just doesn't like Olivia and so he's really digging in his heels because of it.  And maybe she's doing the same thing -- not willing to pay b/c she just doesn't like him.

Whatever the case, horribly matched. 

Edited August 27, 2020 by Boo Boo

[spunky]

4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

If you're in a relationship with another human being, you can't just decide all by yourself to make a drastic change to your person without at least discussing it with your partner.  It's being kind.  If you want to do whatever you want to do, then stay single.

As far as Amani being a black woman, I'm a black woman and that doesn't give me the right to think "you can't tell ME what to do with MY hair."  And after watching "To Catch a Beautician" sometimes you should talk to someone before just getting your hair done.

I'm black too and yes I would discuss it with my husband.  It was the way he was coming across during their discussion.  He was making it seem like her cutting all her hair off would be a deal breaker.  Pastor Cal interpreted it that way as well which is why he asked about alopecia. 

1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

That's what struck me.  Her money is her money.  And she ain't paying for her husband to enjoy all the activities.  Imagine if the roles were reversed. 

But of course, she got what she didn't want as if she's never seen an episode of MAFS despite her fan girling Pastor Cal.  

Well he was against matching them for various reasons including her not wanting children and him wanting.  The other two said it "would be a challenge". Well they got their challenge .

Edited August 28, 2020 by spunky

[Neurochick]

2 hours ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

Karen is really living up to her name. I’m sorry she was cheated on and that her ex had a baby with somebody else, but if you’re going to constantly have that in the back of your head and punish your current partner for it, you need therapy.

Totally agree.  Someone needs to explain to me how the name "Karen" became a thing.  I mean did someone just pick that name at random?  I really don't get it.

Quote

My husband and I guffawed at "Pool Boy Nightmare"!

I think Lifetime has run out of ideas.

Edited August 28, 2020 by Neurochick

[humbleopinion]

21 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

 Someone needs to explain to me how the name "Karen" became a thing.  I mean did someone just pick that name at random?  I really don't get it.

Wiki to the rescue....

Origins in Black Twitter. Brought forth to white people through a SNL skit... Karen's bland potato salad, no thank you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_(pejorative)

 

[dirtypop90]

I continue to not understand why Karen and Miles were paired. I thought Karen was nice to Miles. But ultimately they’re just not compatible, have no romantic chemistry, and she’s flat out not sexually attracted to him. And to be fair I think the only thing Miles likes about her is her looks. It’s the only reason he says he’s into her. And he likes her looks so much he’s willing to overlook their lack of compatibility. So he’s shallow too. I’ve noticed that Karen AND Miles comment on the age difference. He’s called her a cougar several times. Their feels to be a large age gap between them. He needs a younger woman and she needs an older man. She might settle for him but she’s never going to be THAT into him. Their marriage will always be lukewarm.

Woody took a nose dive this week. I knew it would come eventually but didn’t expect this. Though he’s always come off as shallow so can’t be too surprised. Amani can do better and they wont make it.

OLIVIA. Ok, I actually relate to her. I do well, financially, and don’t react well to men telling me how to spend my money or that “I’m throwing it away.”  They are both rude and stubborn and emotional so I can see why they were paired. But finances will be an issue and not just for Olivia.  Lifestyle differences matter, MUCH.

Henry finally stated his truth. But it’s funny how men on the show have no ISSUE stating their spouse isn’t their type to their spouses faces but the women always beat around the bush i.e. Karen and still get slammed for not wanting their spouses. As a woman there’s no way to be on this show and not be into your spouse if he’s a “nice guy.”

 

 

[Neurochick]

33 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Wiki to the rescue....

Origins in Black Twitter. Brought forth to white people through a SNL skit... Karen's bland potato salad, no thank you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_(pejorative)

 

Interesting.  Though I know a LOT of black women named Karen so WTF?

[LuvMyShows]

 

11 hours ago, Cammi said:

Also forgot to add that Bennett and Amelia are what the show was probably trying to go for with Neil and Sam. Only Sam was slightly unbalanced mentally. 

Yep, I think the show drastically overestimated what Sam's appeal would be.  The major difference I find between Sam and Amelia, aside from Amelia actually being a nice person, is that Sam loved referring to herself, and thinking of herself, as quirky, but she wasn't, although she aspired to be and had an unusual pet.  Whereas I think Amelia is genuinely unconventional, and aside from the idiocy of the bridesmaid and the unicycle, I really haven't seen her ostentatiously reveling in her quirky-ness, but rather just living it.

22 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Aww, Karen sitting on Miles lap and giving him a smooch. 

I had to look twice at that preview, because I couldn't even tell it was her in the preview.  Her hair was so much looser, and clearly so was her demeanor by even just sitting on Miles' lap, let alone giving him a kiss.

8 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Thank you pastor call for getting that happy wife/happy life bullshit out of here. You and your spouse are partners. Teammates. Neither person will win every argument. Neither persons wants and desires are more important than the others. I'm not folding on every disagreement or decision because happy wife/happy life.

I really liked that saying "Happy spouse, happy house."  I've never heard it before, and it is so much healthier of an outlook for a couple than the happy wife/happy life that can ironically be detrimental to the couple as a whole.

7 hours ago, TheMediumBopper said:

When Pastor Cal was saying that Henry needed a diva like Christina to balance out his 'quiet side,' I was cringing over here. That's a dynamic that almost never works except in the movies.

Yeah, WTAF?  A diva-like personality can be exhausting to even someone with an outgoing personality.  I can imagine it just decimating a quiet person.

22 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I can’t believe guys go on about how gorgeous she is that leads to five years romances yet no one has given her flowers but grandpa. 

Maybe I'm a skeptic, but if I met a guy who from the start was going on and on about how gorgeous I was, I would wonder what his ulterior motive was.

23 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

That conversation between Amani and Woody went from nice to say what!? Pastor Cal stirring the pot

21 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Why does Pastor Cal ask the couples if they are going to have kids when most of them haven’t even had sex yet? 

I completely disagreed with Pastor Cal's premise that even though the couples have only been married 7 days, they really need to face the tough questions now or they may not make it.  Bullshit!  What they need to be doing now is getting to know each other better and build a foundation, as well as build some chemistry, so that there is a "them" that exists.  Otherwise, the tough questions are just potential red flags that serve no purpose other than to stir the pot.  There are so many useful things that he could be asking them, if assisting the couple for the long run was the real purpose...but, well, this is a reality show, so...not so much.

22 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Well, it looked like that bubble burst when Bennett said it was a question of priorities whether he would want to move or not. 

I actually was very proud of how Bennett handled that line of questioning.  At this point, he has known his wife for 7 days.  By the time the residency match day comes (or whatever it is called), they will have been together for months.  And at that point, he will have a better feel for what his priorities are.  Sorry Pastor Cal, it looks like they didn't take the bait.

[ShowFan]

I understand where Olivia is coming from but she isn’t handling it well. My husband and i started together in college at the same min wage jobs. We always shared expenses and kept separate finances. Over time my income grew faster than his. We both like “nice things.” For a while we kept splitting the cost of those nice things in half until we reached a point where I was being held back from progressing the nice things. I chose to progressively foot larger and larger part of the bill because for me it was the experience and being together that mattered. We work equally hard (he actually works even harder than me) but I now make about 4 times more. Of course I pay for all nice things and he shares half of the basic things. And it works great!
 

Since Olivia and Brett don’t have the foundation, they need to start small to where he can pay his half. If she wants more nice things she can get them for herself but she should not pressure him to forego his own financial goals (house, retirement, savings). Over time they can increase slowly with her paying a larger and larger portion if she feels comfortable. Sounds like he is working on certifications and he is financially responsible. Longer term they can align finances and goals. But whining and bitching about it now is no resolution at all. She is just destroying her chances of having this relationship. They just have very different values and goals at this time and neither should be forced to give up on theirs. 
 

And with Covid, she won’t be traveling for quite a while, and she won’t be eating out. So..there...problem solved 

Edited August 28, 2020 by ShowFan

[ShowFan]

13 hours ago, Cancun said:

My comment was total sarcasm, and a reference back to ChristinA bragging earlier about how fabulous it is to grab a first class seat when dead heading. It was part of her travel shaming Henry, and she said she doesn’t like to travel any other way now. 

Oh, sorry I missed that! I have been reading so many comments from people who truly think that being a flight attendant is glamorous that I’ve stopped to notice the under tones. When I was a kid I told my mom that I want to be a flight attendant when I grow up to see the world! Wouldn’t you rather be the first class passenger? And that was the end of my childhood dream to be a flight attendant. Not in any way saying their job is not important. They are heroes in many situations. Just that it’s highly uncomfortable and painful 

[ShowFan]

When I watch the show knowing that Covid lockdown is approaching I can’t help but adore their pure childish innocence! Olivia with her “I want to go to football games and travel”...no honey, you don’t. You’ll be working your tail off and there will be no games and travel. 
 

And Bennett with his “but I have a theater company” yeah good luck with that

Someone said here they wish there was a Covid countdown at the bottom of the screen. Such a great idea!

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I completely disagreed with Pastor Cal's premise that even though the couples have only been married 7 days, they really need to face the tough questions now or they may not make it.  Bullshit!  What they need to be doing now is getting to know each other better and build a foundation, as well as build some chemistry, so that there is a "them" that exists.  Otherwise, the tough questions are just potential red flags that serve no purpose other than to stir the pot.  There are so many useful things that he could be asking them, if assisting the couple for the long run was the real purpose...but, well, this is a reality show, so...not so much.

I disagree. I absolutely think they need to hit the big things like wanting to have kids or not; finances and approach to savings/spending; impending move; etc. I say this largely because I don't trust the experts to have done the basic work they would need to do to identify any showstoppers. Amani and Woody should talking about whether or not they have kids - if he does and she doesn't (or vice versa), figure that out now because it's likely a showstopper for one or both of them. The experts should have figured this out beforehand but I don't think they do and even if so, it's a conversation they need to have together.

Quote

When I was a kid I told my mom that I want to be a flight attendant when I grow up to see the world! Wouldn’t you rather be the first class passenger? And that was the end of my childhood dream to be a flight attendant. 

When my mom was a kid, she wanted to be a flight attendant but could not. She only grew to barely 5 feet tall so they wouldn't hire her. Ironically, she never flew until she was about 55 years old.