S04.E09: Should've Known Better

[Kangatush]

1 minute ago, Chalby said:

Men and women who are THIS persistent about a fantasy date scare the heck out of me... I hope he doesn't run into her (or whoever is playing her) because his behaviour is unpredictable.

The only reason I'm totally fine with it is that I can almost guarantee that the person behind the door is in no way connected to the girl in the pics or whomever has been chatting with David.  

[humbleopinion]

7 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Last season I watched Pillow Talk to see the escalation of what Annie would cook in her bed.  This season I'm wondering if there are enough episodes left for Yolanda to progress to wearing full hubcaps as earrings.

My faves were the fly paper strips.

[Lizzing]

So we're pretty deep in the season, and it looks like Yolanda isn't going to the UK.  So this means that her story is basically an episode of Catfish, except it's taken us 18 hours of TV to essentially get through the first 15 minutes of a Catfish episode.  We're not even up to the reverse image search yet!  Yolanda is on the wrong show and it's a shame Sharp cast her here.  Hell, at least with Caesar we got to see some nice beaches and with David we get to see some off the beaten path Ukranian locales, as well as a stellar restaurant manager.  All we get with Yolanda is damn juice bars and an AirBnB---again, things that are regularly on Catfish.

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, Chloe Dog said:

We have a new contender for Creep of the Season!  What the hell was that, David??  Lana left you no other alternative than to stalk her?  What's it gonna take to get the message?  I've known guys like this and this attitude NEVER turns out ok.

Right?  That line sent shivers down my spine because the "look what terrible thing you made me do to you" is right out of a lifetime movie of the week about a crazy ass stalker.  

He wasn't showing up to her apartment for answers.  He has the answer, and he admits that she will "probably be mad" that he is there, so he knows she doesn't want him there. He wants to ambush her to collect what he feels he is owed.  

If Lana was a real human being who lived there alone, there is a high probability that she would end up kidnapped and/or raped.  Because you know, she told him to get lost....and really, after that.....what other alternative did she leave him? 

[Chalby]

On 4/17/2020 at 10:09 PM, Meowwww said:

He mentioned he had an address for her. 

He also said he got the address from some group cruise or event that he had sign up with. That would freak me out if I was a woman - knowing that any loser could phone the company who brings single men to the Ukraine, and get womens' addresses. No Bueno!

[Chalby]

On 4/14/2020 at 10:35 PM, RealReality said:

Men who cannot take no for an answer aren't cute, they aren't pitiful they are scary and creepy. 

All of this, plus the creepy stalking are further topped off by his purchase of a cheap zirconia engagement ring. What woman is going to happily accept a relationship with him? And now I question if he really even spent $100,000? Something about this guy reminds me of a Forensic Files' villain.

[Kangatush]

24 minutes ago, Chalby said:

He also said he got the address from some group cruise or event that he had sign up with. That would freak me out if I was a woman - knowing that any loser could phone the company who brings single men to the Ukraine, and get womens' addresses. No Bueno!

From what I remember a few episodes back when he Told Anya his plans...  During one of the previous visits they were supposed to go on a cruise and she had given him an address as part of the booking.  Not that some random company had shared the info with him.  Not like that makes it cool, but you know.

Oh, I remember a story.  Like 20 years ago (so this century, not like the 80s or anything) my mom had just gotten out of the shower and was going in her towel to her room.  The bathroom was at the top of some stairs with a door at the bottom of the stairs to the outside.  It was a nice day, so the door was open leaving just the screen door, but the house was set far back from the street so random passersby wouldn't have seen anything.  Suddenly a man appears at the door, catching her in her towel.  It turns out that he was some guy she knew in high school (many states away) who found himself in town, remembered it as where she now lived, but didn't know our address.  So he went to the local POLICE STATION who cheerfully gave him directions to our place!  That was so messed up, and it was the cops who did it so who do you complain to?

[Kangatush]

8 minutes ago, Chalby said:

All of this, plus the creepy stalking are further topped off by his purchase of a cheap zirconia engagement ring. What woman is going to happily accept a relationship with him? And now I question if he really even spent $100,000? Something about this guy reminds me of a Forensic Files' villain.

I guarantee he spent the money since she kept him exclusively on the pay to chat site for 7 years,  It's not like he's saying he spent it on sending gifts like Big Ed or Cesar.

[Chalby]

On 4/13/2020 at 8:07 PM, Kyanight said:

 Steph has arrested development.  Probably some boy in middle school or high school did her wrong and now everyone she's interested in romantically is going to do the same thing in her eyes.  She barely gives them a chance.  She certainly hasn't given Erika a chance.

Good observation! The "hurt" she perseverates on from some past 'boyfriend' may be the whole reason why she considered becoming a lesbian. But clearly, she is NOT interested in a same-sex relationship. Stephanie needs to 'fess up and leave Erika so she may pursue someone else.

[bravofan27]

Ash is really trying hard to play Avery, and Avery is really trying hard to catch him at it. It's a total cat and mouse game. He has a lot to lose if he says he's in a relationship. He'll be less interesting to the female clients, who pay his salary, and it will probably put a wrench in his player game with other women. In the first episodes he bragged, delightedly, about how good he was with women. The flower guy even said that Ash was there all the time buying flowers for women. I can't believe I'm saying this about a single mom who makes her living cooking pot, but I think she's too good for him.

Can Stephanie and Ericka just break up already? They have nothing in common and seem to hate each other. Ericka was over her as soon as she ran to sanitize her hands after petting the kangaroo. Ericka's friends seem fun (and a lot more interesting and fun than Ericka).

Vayra's mom looks just like her and is adorable. But I'm ready for this fake relationship to be over. I don't believe that Vayra or Geoffrey are a real couple. As aspiring actors, they maybe were hooked up by their agents or something, but their relationship just doesn't seem remotely authentic. My guess is they will "break up" and never go through the VISA process. I don't get why Vayra is always pursing her lips into a half smile or grimace. She does it constantly. Does she think it makes her look cute? It doesn't.

Usman's mom is adorable and I love her. I like how she just broke it down without a beat. Lisa's too old. She knows Lisa won't be able to birth a baby, and she wants Usman to have a family. I'm actually wondering if Usman would become a servant in the US. I feel like Lisa would definitely put him to work doing something.

 

 

[Chalby]

On 4/15/2020 at 6:06 PM, itsadryheat said:

Ash looked like he wanted to jump overboard rather than continue with the grilling Avery was giving him. Quite the facial expressions.

As soon as he rolled his eyes, that would have been me gone. Rolling one's eyes is condescending...

Buh bye

[InternetToughGuy]

Damn I don’t want to watch this. I thought it was the season finale for some reason.

***

David’s crossed arms in the still image look truly criminal, especially since he’s so muscular it looks like he lifts weights all day long….or injects steroids and eats whatever he wants. I prefer to go with the second option, as it prevents me from making any lifestyle choices that may actually bring me some benefit and a sense of work ethic.

Somehow I never really thought of none of them acknowledging the camera, since Varya’s request to talk may or may not have included “will this be filmed?” - I assume not, since I go on the basis of everything I say and do being recorded and seen by the government, which is why I duct tape earmuffs and other sensory blockers to my basketcase head whenever I leave the house, lest I have a non compliant thought that may land me in a gulag. Geoffrey’s prison stint was like 20 years ago, right?

I’d say since it was so long ago, all should be forgiven, unless we’re dealing with a woman’s past - even a harmless story about a friendly beep from a male coworker’s pager from 1995 would hurl me to the floor, maniacally turning myself in a clockwork motion with my legs, while screaming.

Geoffrey and Varya hope to be happy, which seems like it won’t pan out at all, since this season has probably comprised of 20 minutes of total screen time between them and they’ve already had more “wow” moments than a year of Days Of Our Lives - a show I have to point out that Ed has probably never heard of due to it being a “soap” opera.

***

That pic of Stephanie and Erika in what looks like the outback - will Erika’s bright colors make her an easy target for animals or scare them away as well? Stephanie wanting to have sex but also not wanting to…quite the dyke-chotomy - whether or not I have the SJW street cred to be able to use that word, I don’t know, but feel free to scream into a pillow rather than at me, since I’d probably piss myself over internet conflict.

Flowers have to be the worst gift ever, due to how quickly they wilt. I do have to admit they last longer than most relationships I have, since I often peer through the window of the house I was just kicked out of to see their vibrant colors on the coffee table. I don’t know how intimate some of Erika’s relationships were, since I’m assuming a few of them were just her getting licked by mistake due to her bullfrog like appearance.

Since Stephanie wants to be more trusting, I hope she won’t notice that I falsely stated my height as 5’7 on my dating account - when 5’7 is a LIE, you know Mother Nature has a sense of humor (a sick one when also factoring in the disgusting horse teeth jutting 2 inches out of my lips).

***

Usman living in the streets where fecal canals line the roads has prepared him to deal with Lisa’s stink - certainly if Lisa is a real nurse, she would recognize the symptoms of the severe flu. It’s stupid, but anytime someone sarcastically says the word “Mommy”, it’s always gotten me depressed; I’d clarify, but I don’t think it would help me express it any better. Wait a minute….Lisa is an old woman?

I thought she was a cadaver being maneuvered around with puppet strings. The only reason I can think of Usman liking this relationship is if he is in the extremely small percentage of men who fetishized being nagged by their angry mother….to which he is trying to relive through a great grandmother figure.

***

Something tells me the photo of just David will remain through the whole season, unless the editor wants to make fun of him by crudely editing “Lana” into the photo. I was about to laugh at David’s patheticness before seeing his arms are as wide as my abdomen - this further reminds me of how stupid it was to only eat on nights with a full moon when I was growing up.

David would probably walk away from this with more pride if he just found a tombstone in the graveyard with the same name to throw those flowers on. That translation app really makes things easy - since my Mom was Russian, due to the language barrier, my Dad finally convinced her to go out with him by frantically pointing at his crotch until he was understood.

David wants to be with her for the rest of his life; as I’m sure Ed can attest, that won’t be very long if sex is involved, as he may die of embarrassment once he has to take his shirt off, though I wouldn’t be surprised if a large percentage of the audience started clapping, since a mere 200 pounds of fat is beginning to be recognized as athletic in the American consciousness.

It’s quite possible Lana poked her head in the restaurant and saw David’s appearance wasn’t in fact a giant burlap sack filled with money and she ran away. Is there a reason for men David’s age to keep living? It’s certainly the mindset of a squeaky voiced teen obsessed with porn, but if young women don’t want you, why go on?

Due to that, I’ve been talked down off the ledge many times by female counselors lifting their shirts for me - fat and saggy is better than nothing. I believe this is the least I’ve talked about what’s on screen so far, since nothing has happened. This show is like a 2 hour constipation, since I want this shit to be over.

***

Avery looks real fine - since she likes Ash, I have interpreted that as needing to darken my skin tone to just a shade below skin cancer. Luckily I don’t have to spend money on a tanning bed, since I refuted my Father’s demand for me to work with a harsh tone and I was kicked out to boil in the sun 23 hours a day. I’ve never understood why women are so afraid of spiders, at least the ones the size of fingernails. She’s such a fly girl, despite not being named Aviary *boo boop.

Why did Ash have to take his shirt off? I’ll assume what appears to be muscles is actually fatty plaque buildup….I’m really running out of excuses. Why does he have a backwards hat on? I’d make a connection to Ash Ketchum doing that, but I doubt anyone here would get it, unless there are other adults whose brains didn’t mature past 6 years old in here. As soon as Ash said he was single, I dove headfirst into the TV, somehow thinking it would propel me into Avery’s loving arms - guess I’ll have to watch the rest of the episode through the neighbor’s window.

***

I’m probably alone in thinking Las Vegas looks cool during the day because it looks weird; I apply that backwards logic to a lot of things that don’t make a lot of sense. One does have to wonder if Yolanda’s reference of “private” pictures was literal or not - women who get short haircuts usually balance it out by growing a gigantic bush (a theory admittedly based on nothing).

In case anyone didn’t watch the previous episodes, to sum up these characters briefly: Karra is hot, Yolanda is stupid. Of course a woman can be both and one can override the other, but to only be stupid is a bad lot in life. I wouldn’t be surprised if Nevada officials kick Yolanda out just so the state’s average IQ doesn’t plummet.

***

Darcey’s still image was her frozen in the forest with people walking in motion in the background - don’t tell me Darcey got botox on her soul and can’t move anything. Even if she did, I’m sure she’d find a way to reject my advances. Since women who are afraid of aging get so many implants and injections, what is the male equivalent? I think men are more willing to just let themselves go rather than put in any effort, even if the effort is just trying to fool everyone.

There are some extremely fat rappers who wear shirts that are (somehow) too big for them because they think it hides their shape somehow, it’s pretty funny. Darcey’s sister being named “Stay-See” is a hidden plea for her to not inject anything into her eyes. I know twins think similarly (because I am one, for real) but why/how would they both want all the procedures?

I’ve always thought people venting in that overt way is really awkward and embarrassing, not to mention pointless, since if the person who is sitting there can muster a reply at all, it will just be a bunch of cliche lines (which is what Stacey ended up saying while I typed that out).

***

This halfway mark is always torture. How can Erika be called beautiful when you’re complimenting a Lisa Frank catalog? Some of that makeup is caked on so hard, you’d probably need a firehose of acetone. The very fact that that guy is named “Add him” must mean that that dating app was reinstalled when Stephanie wasn’t looking. Is he supposed to be like 23?

He looks like a 35 year old who could never climb higher than used car salesman (I may have said something like that last week). I get Stephanie’s reservations about the past and all that, but she needs to save her emotions for an angry video rant. I find this embarrassing, which says a lot coming from someone who sleeps in a crib, so normally my opinion shouldn’t equate to anything.

***

Are all these still images taken at once or do they have to pause their screaming match to take a passive aggressive photo with their arms crossed? I do have to give Ash credit for (assumedly) juggling several women at once, especially since this fling with Avery probably isn’t going to last. I actually do spend a decent amount of time looking for people’s opinions as to if one woman is enough and none of the opinions are really that insightful.

Personally, if I were being yelled at by a woman, I would instantly bring to mind the imagery of an 18 year old jumping up and down in an ill fitting shirt to dissociate from any real world problems - such addictions to dopamine will likely lead to me being found unresponsive in a ditch before age 30.

***

I’d be afraid of any woman who has a brother unless they had Filipeno origins, due to the very likely fact of my nose coming up to their navel. Varya’s brother looks like his strength would multiply exponentially after a few drinks….like all Russians. Her Mom saying angry things right in front of Geoffrey is odd; it’s not like he’d start swinging or anything, but I wouldn’t say those things just assuming I had the invisible forcefield around me.

With a name like “Geoff Re:” perhaps he should sum up his thoughts in an email. I’m pretty sure men who have never done anything slightly illegal would resemble Urkel, which I don’t imagine anyone would find attractive.

***

I think Stephanie and Erika’s relationship takes the cake (sorry Lisa, I know you love sugar) for the worst couple. Of course this footage is irrelevant, since Stephanie has probably had 50 partners since this was filmed and 200 partners beforehand. I’d love to help Steph take her mind off her problems by expressing my distaste for her past - even her shaking hands with the male cameraman would make me cross my arms defiantly in silence for the entire taxi ride.

How can Erika cool off when she was never hot to begin with? With how promiscuous Erika seems, it makes me want to date someone from the 1800s, since even showing an ankle would be seen as risque - too bad anyone from that era who is still alive looks like a decomposed mummy.

***

Why does it seem like there’s no such thing as a car in Africa that was made after 2001? More use of the word “Mommy” - damn, that gets me every time :(. I have a hard time comprehending these religious activities, as I even mistook the gestures done in the Christian church as Backstreet Boys choreography.

Here is where last week’s strict “NO” is reversed, due to a bag of money being handed to her off camera. I am nodding my head in agreement about the age gap being too much, although that will go out the window when I am 50 years old and am enthusiastically cheering during the girls university swim meets.

***

Is David’s friend Jim 25 years old? That may be my own refusal to acknowledge that men also age, but he looks sharp. What would you do if David was standing at your front door? Personally, I’d feign a woman’s voice despite the clear facial stubble to see if he wrote me a check.

///

How fitting when Ash mentioned women are more emotional, Avery immediately reacts emotionally. I don’t get the reasoning behind that, especially since anti psychotic medication completely fried my emotional spectrum - communicating exclusively through nods and grunts is no way to live. The man’s role is to bring home money? Since my business of intentionally slipping on icy walkways and trying to sue the shop owners failed, I guess I’m worthless.

The investment I have in Varya and Geoffrey’s relationship has the emotional tension of the ending of a movie you’ve seen ten times. Stephanie and Erika are kind enough to re-enact the previous episode repeatedly for anyone who missed the last one, since each screaming match is identical. I hate how every episode alternates couples, since Ed obviously has enough drama to be featured every time.

To any medical professionals out there, would a kiss from Lisa show up on Usman’s toxicology report? David has the mental stability of a homeless bum who yells on the subway, albeit a more subdued one. I’d give him a quarter, despite him already being rich, since one can only assume his net worth has been squandered in talking to a fake image.

Due to also being from Bridgeport, I naively tried to fool myself into thinking all references of Tom were about Tom Thumb, since that would suggest dwarves like me had a chance with Darcey - we imps get the short end of the stick; ironically another body part of mine that is well below average size.

(I thought of Tom Thumb and had no idea how I'd connect it to the show, but he actually is from the same town as Darcey - it's weird how some jokes come together like that)

Edited April 20, 2020 by InternetToughGuy

[Takitaki]

5 hours ago, Spike said:

It was likely the friend from the tennis court in Yonkers.

Probably the only friend she has in addition to her mom.

Edited April 20, 2020 by Takitaki

[Auntie Anxiety]

8 hours ago, ALittleShelfish said:

But at the very least - we deserve a host who has ACTUALLY WATCHED THE SHOW.  (She admitted she doesn't.). Can't ask a good follow-up if you have no idea what actually happened. 

I’d always thought this and even commented here numerous times that it’s hard to follow up a question when the host has no understanding of the context to begin with. Seemed so clear that Shaun just reads whatever questions are written on her index cards by some producer. Having Shaun admit it makes me even more confident to trust my instincts.

[humbleopinion]

TLC, Enough of Yolanda’s segments.

YoLa cannot be as stupid and pathetic as she is portrayed.

She is earning her TLC paycheck you dangle in front of her but her story line bums us out.

At the eating french fries with chopsticks meal at the AirBnB every one of her kids could have put their cellphones on the table and reversed image The Williams and identified the stock photos stolen by the Nigerian who has been romancing YoLa for 7 months.

We have come to rely on 90 Day continuously portraying Darcy as the weepy loser at love but YoLa Is no Darcy.

Enough is enough.

Find  host willing to watch the season to at least be able to follow up with a decent question...seriously, TLC.

Edited April 20, 2020 by humbleopinion

[gotta watch]

I'd love to know how much it cost David just to send that brief message to "Lana" about meeting for lunch. $50-100?

If I give Steph the benefit of the doubt about having actual questions for Erica's friends, WHY IN THE WORLD was she shouting?! Way to make yourself look like an asshole to Erica, all her friends, and anyone who watches this show, including your followers on SM.

[blubld43]

InternetToughGuy

I really enjoy your weekly take on this shitshow, I do wish you would join the live chat.  

David is never going to meet Lana, and his insistence on confronting her in person is setting off all my red flags.  His comment last night that even 5 minutes would be "more than I ever did before!" was the epitome of desperation, we haven't really seen him get angry but I feel it's right below the surface.

And please TLC, no more shots of him, or Big Egg in the shower, or anything where they need to remove any clothing.  What's next, Bibby Girl Lisa in a state of undress?!

[humbleopinion]

David...as you slowly drank that room temperature bottle of cheap champagne did you reflect that this is the end of the road for you and “Lana”?
Did you think about how you spent at $20 /minute the sum total of 100K To romance a woman who was never going to board your RV because she was “in love.”

Did you have an epiphany on why would a 20 something want to travel From KOA to KOA with a liver spotted old man,...dreading each time you popped a Viagra like a Tic Tac?

 

[DEL901]

My ultimate wish is that it IS Lana behind the green door and David finds that the photos were taken fifteen years, eight kids and one drinking problem ago.  

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

On 4/18/2020 at 12:40 PM, RealReality said:

 

He is just hoping to ambush her and guilt her into a relationship.  That's creepy stalker.  

When he is driving to the apartment he says something to the effect of "she is going TO UNDERSTAND that I deserve a face to face explanation". He should be arrested, that's just fucked up- he's gonna make her give him what he wants. Creepy as F.

Also, it was either just before 6 or after 6 on the clock in the cafe when he left and she took the flowers. He allegedly left at 4 right? 

9 hours ago, ALittleShelfish said:

That's what Shaun has indicated on the twitter when she responded to my cries for a new host.  lol

But at the very least - we deserve a host who has ACTUALLY WATCHED THE SHOW.  (She admitted she doesn't.). Can't ask a good follow-up if you have no idea what actually happened.  

Agree w/both of you. But also, whenever anyone says anything mildly off color (WAY less strong that what we see on the show) Shaun looks shocked goes 'wooooo' and fans herself w/her card. Maybe they control the questions but that is her natural reaction. She doesn't have the bitchassslutasswhore fortitude necessary to roll w/these clowns.

9 hours ago, mamadrama said:

In reality, production would be putting David and their own crew in an incredible amount of danger having him chase this mystery woman to her apartment in a war zone. 

I thought same, I had flashbacks in the stairway to when Gwyneth Paltrow goes in the barrio apartment to see if they key works in the movie A Perfect Murder.  Hey Blondie! (en espanol)

8 hours ago, nb360 said:

I love how Varya's dog starts growling right after Geoffrey says he has something to tell the family. A dog can sense evil!

That was GREAT when the dog side eyed him just before that. Animals know.

[Kyanight]

7 hours ago, RealReality said:

Right?  That line sent shivers down my spine because the "look what terrible thing you made me do to you" is right out of a lifetime movie of the week about a crazy ass stalker.  

He wasn't showing up to her apartment for answers.  He has the answer, and he admits that she will "probably be mad" that he is there, so he knows she doesn't want him there. He wants to ambush her to collect what he feels he is owed.  

If Lana was a real human being who lived there alone, there is a high probability that she would end up kidnapped and/or raped.  Because you know, she told him to get lost....and really, after that.....what other alternative did she leave him? 

I get what you ladies are saying... but if Lana were real and she made this joker fly across the world FOUR times SAYING she would meet him - she is already playing with fire.  I don't think David is a mass murderer (yet who knows!) but a woman COULD screw the wrong man over.   That's totally wrong to do to a person.  If you don't want a relationship with the dipstick, don't say you will meet him in your country. 

Edited April 20, 2020 by Kyanight

[AZChristian]

9 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Darcey and Tom: The Silva gals need to stop with the fillers and plastic surgery procedures. Darcey, you can make those booties look sexy, but they come across as cheap. And Loubie booties are well over $1000.  

Lots of faux Loubies available online for under $160.  Maybe she orders them from the same place she orders her Louis Vuitton fake purse and luggage.

Makes me wonder if D&S also go to have their botox and fillers done at a "faux" place.  They show people on botched who have had their faces and lips "filled" with things like tire cement.  Those people look a lot like D&S are starting to look.  

Edited April 20, 2020 by AZChristian
Typo

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

8 hours ago, mamadrama said:

In reality, production would be putting David and their own crew in an incredible amount of danger having him chase this mystery woman to her apartment in a war zone. The Ukrainian mafia is a big deal and behind a lot of the various money making scams. When Rough Guides used to send us there we had a long list of dos and don'ts, as well as a lengthy list of red flags. I had an accidental run in with the mafia in a cafe I didn't know they owned and it still gives me shivers. No way would Sharp put their own crew in danger.

The Ukrainian Mafia is real, but dealing with them on a professional level likely wouldn't be too tough. It would be a matter of contacting, via intermediaries, the local mafia boss and forking over some $$$ in exchange for their safety, usually in the form of No-Show or No-Work jobs (i.e. they pay the Ukrainian version of the Teamsters X amount for a bunch of sound guys, security staff, etc. who either don't show up or do show up but sit around on the periphery and don't actually work). TLC no doubt considers it a cost of doing business in that town.

 

8 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Stephanie continues to manipulate by using her illness, her being uncomfortable. Seems to be trying very hard to get Erika to dump her and be a victim.

That's what this entire trip has been about: Poor Erika bending over backwards to accommodate a hypocritical harridan who so obviously wants Erika to dump her. But Erika, who must have a heart of gold, keeps giving Stephanie chance after chance after chance. I hope Erika sends Stephanie packing then has a fling with someone (male or female) who rocks her world. She deserves it after everything she's been put through.

 

7 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Her level of stupidity is irritating, pathetic and made me eat the last piece of tiramisu...

Dr. Now wants you to know that you could easily have lost 30 pounds this month...

 

7 hours ago, Chalby said:

I can never feel sorry for a man who willingly gives an unknown woman's BOSS's site $100,000. There are more sad-sack cases in his country of residence that he could have given that money to, AND received a tax write-off.

If David admits to having spent $100K, the real total is probably closer to a quarter of a million bucks or so.

 

7 hours ago, Chalby said:

 I am shocked it's real. I thought it was a wig/hairpiece from the get go, but judging by everyone's reaction, I assume it is real?

It's either a toupee or a hair transplant. Notice the weird, wavy hairstyle? Transplants covering large areas usually leave your scalp with fairly thin hair (there's only so much that can be transplanted), so you grow your hair long and use tons of conditioner to thicken it up.

 

7 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Last season I watched Pillow Talk to see the escalation of what Annie would cook in her bed.  This season I'm wondering if there are enough episodes left for Yolanda to progress to wearing full hubcaps as earrings.

Mrs. RaiderDuck has taken to referring to Yolanda as "A Series of Unfortunate Earrings."

Meanwhile, what was the point of the Darcey interlude? She's supposedly cut Tom out of her life and has no plans to reconnect with him. She literally has no reason to still be on the show.

As for BabyGirlVisa: Methinks the mom respected Lisa going into the mosque with her. Notice how she went from a flat "No" to at least explaining her No. That is a step, no matter how small. Her instincts are still correct, though: Lisa is way too old for Usman and commands him like he's her servant. Even though MommyUsman can't understand English, she can definitely hear Lisa barking one-word commands at him.

[iwasish]

On 4/15/2020 at 8:15 PM, AZChristian said:

I was watching to see whether the guy on the other side of the cafe was trying to send messages that would - coincidentally - cause David's phone to beep.  But then David mentioned he didn't have internet coverage in the cafe, so it became a moot point.

But - really - some guy sits there watching David out of the corner of his eye for TWO HOURS with nothing more obvious than a glass of water on his table????

What if he was also waiting for Lana?  Imagine if she showed and both guys jumped up  “Lana!!!Baby!!”

I wonder if Lana works for a big company that employs many “Lanas”, all stringing along horny foreign guys? Do they have incentive bonus programs? Has Lana gotten recognized for her ability to stand up her marks MULTIPLE times and still keep them on the string? 

 

 

[Baltimore Betty]

19 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

It's either a toupee or a hair transplant. Notice the weird, wavy hairstyle? Transplants covering large areas usually leave your scalp with fairly thin hair (there's only so much that can be transplanted), so you grow your hair long and use tons of conditioner to thicken it up.

Hair Club for Men who are easily scammed.  Did you notice when he was taking the whores/Darcey style public bathroom bath he only fluffed it a bit on top, not running a brush thru it completely.  

I think the shirt he changed out of was the one he woke up wearing, we saw him in bed wearing it.

I bet that waitress has seen a lot of men sitting in her cafe looking dejected leaving behind flowers and unopened champagne.

 

 

[RealReality]

56 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I get what you ladies are saying... but if Lana were real and she made this joker fly across the world FOUR times SAYING she would meet him - she is already playing with fire.  I don't think David is a mass murderer (yet who knows!) but a woman COULD screw the wrong man over.   That's totally wrong to do to a person.  If you don't want a relationship with the dipstick, don't say you will meet him in your country. 

I don't think "Lana" has made David do anything.  I highly suspect that Lana has just said okay, or sure to keep him on the chat line and paying $2.99 a minute.  

Realistically, it's very clear she has no intention of meeting him, right?  And that she gets paid to talk to him on a chat line.  

If all that is true, then she has no reason to be the driver behind these multiple trips that David has taken.  She isn't getting paid by the Ukrainian tourism board, she isn't getting a cut of the cost of the plane tickets.  She only gets paid if David uses the chat service.  So it makes sense that HE pushes for a meeting and she just says yes.  

Her interests are much better served if he uses that money for plane tickets and sends her a dozen roses off the website or chocolates.  

So I don't think she made him or even really asked him to plan any of these trips, because it doesn't serve her interest.  

[PamelaMaeSnap]

8 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

My faves were the fly paper strips.

She can compete in a "who wore it better" with Erika's watermelon slices. 

Also? Shaun Cassidy's hair today followed the same path as that of his late half-brother David ... VERY receded hairline with a little fringe across the top. Not totally bald but not something one would choose to buy from Hair Club For Men. (And yes, it's spelled "Shaun" just like our beloved Tell-All host). 

Edited April 20, 2020 by PamelaMaeSnap

[jumper sage]

6 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

It’s quite possible Lana poked her head in the restaurant and saw David’s appearance wasn’t in fact a giant burlap sack filled with money and she ran away.

I was thinking the guy near the door was scoping out for the scam crew called Lana.

[Kyanight]

17 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I don't think "Lana" has made David do anything.  I highly suspect that Lana has just said okay, or sure to keep him on the chat line and paying $2.99 a minute.  

Realistically, it's very clear she has no intention of meeting him, right?  And that she gets paid to talk to him on a chat line.  

If all that is true, then she has no reason to be the driver behind these multiple trips that David has taken.  She isn't getting paid by the Ukrainian tourism board, she isn't getting a cut of the cost of the plane tickets.  She only gets paid if David uses the chat service.  So it makes sense that HE pushes for a meeting and she just says yes.  

Her interests are much better served if he uses that money for plane tickets and sends her a dozen roses off the website or chocolates.  

So I don't think she made him or even really asked him to plan any of these trips, because it doesn't serve her interest.  

She told him she wanted to get pictures taken of them together to get a Visa so that they could married and she could come to the U.S.   She told him that repeatedly, according to David.  I don't know if he would have gone over there so many times if she weren't leading him on.   (But I don't believe "Lana" is the model in the photos.)

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

12 minutes ago, jumper sage said:

I was thinking the guy near the door was scoping out for the scam crew called Lana.

He could be the guy who, if David had showed up alone without a camera crew, says he's Lana's brother and Lana is in trouble and you need to come with me right away. As soon as he gets in the car, David gets a bag over his head and a gun to his ribcage. Then it's off to an apartment where they begin ripping David's fingernails out until he gives over all his account numbers. After that, it's just a question of dumping his body where it won't be found.

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

Dr. Now wants you to know that you could easily have lost 30 pounds this month... 

I was under the impression that calories eaten while actively snarking do not count....

Guess it is time to pull on my sneaks and face mask and go jogging....
Hate jogging with the hot shame of a thousand TITiTOOS......

Edited April 20, 2020 by humbleopinion

[GoGamecox]

2 hours ago, gotta watch said:

I'd love to know how much it cost David just to send that brief message to "Lana" about meeting for lunch. $50-100?

I had the same thoughts. I wondered how much "Lana" (whoever they really are) made off that one interaction and how much they made off of his $100,000 overall investment. Half? You know the management keeps a good portion for running the site. Does anyone out there know more about these sites work for the employees? 

[bravofan27]

1 hour ago, iwasish said:

What if he was also waiting for Lana?  Imagine if she showed and both guys jumped up  “Lana!!!Baby!!”

I wonder if Lana works for a big company that employs many “Lanas”, all stringing along horny foreign guys? Do they have incentive bonus programs? Has Lana gotten recognized for her ability to stand up her marks MULTIPLE times and still keep them on the string? 

 

 

I read on a couple of gossip sites that "lana" has profiles on at least 5 different sites. Same pics, same bio, but I think her job is different on each one. Personally, I think "Lana" is a fictional character, and these chat sites/ companies purchase the photos and bio from somewhere.

Edited April 20, 2020 by bravofan27

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

Just now, bravofan27 said:

Personally, I think "Lana" is a fictional character, and these chat sites/ companies purchase the photos and bio from somewhere.

They probably pay some model for the occasional photo shoot. Same thing with "Williams." In both cases, their photos looked really good and well-composed for supposedly being selfies or shot by friends with phone cameras.

[bravofan27]

2 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

They probably pay some model for the occasional photo shoot. Same thing with "Williams." In both cases, their photos looked really good and well-composed for supposedly being selfies or shot by friends with phone cameras.

Williams is a true scam in every sense of the word. He's trying to milk money out of Yolanda one way or another. When she wouldn't give him money, he's now threatening her get paid. David's paying up front to have chat message sex with (probably an automated computer) someone that he thinks is real. Whoever is managing the "Lana" account is, IMO, just trying to keep him returning to the site. But he's paying for chat message sex, and that's what he is getting, where Yolanda didn't even get her flowers.

I read that the site that David uses is one of many, where you pay to chat. You buy a certain amount of tokens, and then each feature on the site costs a certain number of tokens. The more tokens, the better the deal, so it might cost 5 for 5 tokens, but you can get 100 tokens for 50 dollars, and so on. You use tokens to look at the girls, tokens to text message, you can send gifts to the girl with tokens-- like flowers, a pizza, weird stuff. So the guy can have text message sex, then buy the girl a pizza and some flowers for about 100 bucks.

[Spike]

23 minutes ago, GoGamecox said:

I had the same thoughts. I wondered how much "Lana" (whoever they really are) made off that one interaction and how much they made off of his $100,000 overall investment. Half? You know the management keeps a good portion for running the site. Does anyone out there know more about these sites work for the employees? 

It’s not a cam site but may be similar.  On one of the major ones, customers buy tokens.  Say 100 for eleven bucks.  The model gets a nickel for each token, so a little less than half.  Some charge like 90 tokens per minute for private shows, so for a ten minute one they would make $45.  I think Lana’s chat price was 3 bucks per minute, so she probably keeps between a dollar and $1.50.  But she may get a lesser cut because she is not on cam, disrobing, or performing sexual acts like cam models.

[sasha206]

I think Erika knows that Stephanie really isn't jealous.  She's not upset over her past lovers that are now friends.  It's just an excuse for Stephanie to avoid any intimacy and have Erika be the one to dump her -- after the show is over, of course.  

 

[gotta watch]

It would be really funny if the waitress in the cafe was Lana.

[magemaud]

10 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

My faves were the fly paper strips.

I thought they were graham crackers 

[magemaud]

9 hours ago, Kangatush said:

From what I remember a few episodes back when he Told Anya his plans...  During one of the previous visits they were supposed to go on a cruise and she had given him an address as part of the booking. 

Since she had no intention of ever going on the cruise, I think “Lana” is savvy enough to just give him a fake address. Both Anya and the Ukrainian wife of his US “friend” (in parenthesis because I’m  always wary of these too convenient 90 Day friendships) had warned him that he was involved in a common scam. 

[humbleopinion]

13 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I thought they were graham crackers 

Maybe Honey Graham Crackers...or yellow warning cards in soccer

Etsy graham cracker stud earrings is a thing....

YoLa's door knocker earrings last night are passe....

[magemaud]

I’m still shaking my head about how Lisa has done absolutely nothing to win over Usman’s Mom except bring her a goat. Lisa sat there scowling at the first meeting and barked orders at Soja Boy, then at the mosque she made no effort to greet her or even smile. She just sat on her fat ass, not even standing up to show respect. Afterwards she ordered Usman to again hound his mother for her blessing and when it was denied Lisa scolded him for blowing the opportunity. 

Come to think of it, she hasn’t made any allies in Nigeria to help her cause. She argued with Usman’s friends, his record producer, and the other rapper. 

[AZChristian]

10 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Come to think of it, she hasn’t made any allies in Nigeria to help her cause. She argued with Usman’s friends, his record producer, and the other rapper. 

Every time Usman's mother just says "No" or indicates it with a simple shake of the head, I am reminded of Lisa sitting in the back seat of the car with Usman, telling his two friends in the front, "I don't care if she gives us her blessing or not.  We ARE getting married."  They appeared to be shocked at her attitude.

She's at least smart enough to realize when someone else outranks her in Usman's opinion.

 

[sasha206]

On 4/15/2020 at 10:54 PM, mamadrama said:

I'm starting to doubt a single thing about David's story is true. 

It's funny, though, that TLC blurs our Lana'a "real" name on the chat site that he uses. At one point you can clearly see that her name is "Svetlana", which is what "Lana" is short for anyway. That's like blurring out "Johnathon" for a guy people call "John."

I can't even comment on him and Yolanda.  I don't believe either one of them are THAT stupid.  I feel like David's probably a small town community theater actor/failed stand-up comedian and Yolanda just wanted to be on TV.

[sasha206]

On 4/18/2020 at 6:59 PM, charmed1 said:

Usman’s brother, Muhammad is handsome. Looks like Dominique Wilkins in his prime. 

Conversely...sigh...watching David’s bloated, sweaty, doughy body immersed in a Darcey shower is a memory I could’ve done without. I laughed to myself thinking what if the grocery store clerk, flower shop lady, and restaurant owner were all the same person.

 

 

OMG, I loved DW. In his prime, he was so handsome.

[Baltimore Betty]

Lisa said she would follow Usman to anywhere in Europe to be with him, she has got to know she is not in Europe, right?

David is scamming us, how in the world did he pick the right building to go in to, all the Soviet block buildings looked the same in that cluster...it seemed a bit to easy.  The producer was careful enough to specifically enough to ask what the GPS said for an ETA, I think David knew exactly how far he was without the GPS.

Has Stephanie never heard of ancient history, clearly Erika and Adam were old news as were the others in the group but Stephanie could not let it go which is odd considering she is not and does not want a physical relationship with Erika.

 

[Spike]

4 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

 

Lisa said she would follow Usman to anywhere in Europe to be with him, she has got to know she is not in Europe, right?

 

I think she said the world but her diction is garbled.

[RealReality]

50 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

The Ukrainian Mafia is real, but dealing with them on a professional level likely wouldn't be too tough. It would be a matter of contacting, via intermediaries, the local mafia boss and forking over some $$$ in exchange for their safety, usually in the form of No-Show or No-Work jobs (i.e. they pay the Ukrainian version of the Teamsters X amount for a bunch of sound guys, security staff, etc. who either don't show up or do show up but sit around on the periphery and don't actually work). TLC no doubt considers it a cost of doing business in that town.

 

That's what this entire trip has been about: Poor Erika bending over backwards to accommodate a hypocritical harridan who so obviously wants Erika to dump her. But Erika, who must have a heart of gold, keeps giving Stephanie chance after chance after chance. I hope Erika sends Stephanie packing then has a fling with someone (male or female) who rocks her world. She deserves it after everything she's been put through.

 

Dr. Now wants you to know that you could easily have lost 30 pounds this month...

 

If David admits to having spent $100K, the real total is probably closer to a quarter of a million bucks or so.

 

It's either a toupee or a hair transplant. Notice the weird, wavy hairstyle? Transplants covering large areas usually leave your scalp with fairly thin hair (there's only so much that can be transplanted), so you grow your hair long and use tons of conditioner to thicken it up.

 

Mrs. RaiderDuck has taken to referring to Yolanda as "A Series of Unfortunate Earrings."

Meanwhile, what was the point of the Darcey interlude? She's supposedly cut Tom out of her life and has no plans to reconnect with him. She literally has no reason to still be on the show.

As for BabyGirlVisa: Methinks the mom respected Lisa going into the mosque with her. Notice how she went from a flat "No" to at least explaining her No. That is a step, no matter how small. Her instincts are still correct, though: Lisa is way too old for Usman and commands him like he's her servant. Even though MommyUsman can't understand English, she can definitely hear Lisa barking one-word commands at him.

Did she explain her no to Lisa?  

 

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

She told him she wanted to get pictures taken of them together to get a Visa so that they could married and she could come to the U.S.   She told him that repeatedly, according to David.  I don't know if he would have gone over there so many times if she weren't leading him on.   (But I don't believe "Lana" is the model in the photos.)

I think he, like ceasar, believes that if he just spends enough money, he is owed a relationship.  I don't think Lana has to lead David on any more than to say yes and he figures if he is spending this much money he is getting a hot young sex indentured servant who just wants to get to America.  

I don't believe what David says and not because I think he is lying per se.  I just think he has misrepresented Lana saying "sure, okay" as her encouraging all this.  

"Do you want to meet for pictures and get visa and get married" is such a bizarre and joyless reaction that it makes me think that guy in the corner may have been casing the situation to see if there was anything worth robbing David of.  

No normal human who didn't ask you to come over, who never gave you an email address, phone number, or even Facebook account is going to be okay with you showing up in their town without invitation.  

If I went out with a guy and made some offhand comment about us meeting up again I'd be super weirded out if he just showed up in my city and started going to my favorite places to try to find me.  That goes double if he spent eight hours driving to my city.  And that goes triple if I had ghosted the guy.  

 

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

Something else I remembered from last night: Usman was talking about convincing his mother to let him marry Lisa and said "This is my best chance to get to America" or somesuch. Nothing about his chance to be with his love or have kids or whatever else. He's doing this to come here, period.

[Spike]

I had the impression Erika had sex with Adam but now she claims they just kissed.  She was using the term hooking up which apparently means different things to different people.  Even “talking to someone” can now mean sex lol.