S11.E09: This Land is Your Land...or Hers?

[waterytart]

I was wondering how Robin sleeps till noon with kids - I didn't realize she still has a nanny. Do we know who it is?

[Tabbygirl521]

15 minutes ago, dreadfulLeigh said:

“I’m tired of trying to make someone happy who can’t be made happy”

 

...theme of the episode. 

No kidding. I wonder if “the wives” will ever conclude that about indulging Kody’s every whim 

4 minutes ago, waterytart said:

I was wondering how Robin sleeps till noon with kids - I didn't realize she still has a nanny. Do we know who it is?

I don’t know that she sleeps till noon - Janelle said she sleeps in but I don’t recall anyone saying noon.

my husband is a morning person and I am a night person. He took the “early” kid shift and I would take the later. Robyn may have some similar situation going on where the older kids help out in the morning. She may stay up late to take care of housework etc after the kids go to bed. Who knows?

[Kyanight]

24 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

No kidding. I wonder if “the wives” will ever conclude that about indulging Kody’s every whim 

I don’t know that she sleeps till noon - Janelle said she sleeps in but I don’t recall anyone saying noon.

my husband is a morning person and I am a night person. He took the “early” kid shift and I would take the later. Robyn may have some similar situation going on where the older kids help out in the morning. She may stay up late to take care of housework etc after the kids go to bed. Who knows?

She was always a lazy and entitled kid and teenager - I doubt she changed now.

[Meowwww]

I hate mornings. HATE .  But if I had young kids, that wouldn’t matter.  I read somewhere that Areola is up till 1 or 2 am.  Whose fault is that?  Gah.  
Robyn and her “quality of life”.  Spoken by someone with no financial skills who found themselves suddenly getting taken care of with show money.  If she was on her own, she’d be in low income housing.  She needs to remember her roots. 

[aimlessbird]

Ysabel was the one that said Robyn slept till noon.  She said this while explaining why her family shouldn't live in one big house with Robyn's family.

 

Makes it difficult for the wive's 9 a.m. family prayer also.

[endure]

5 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

 

That's Robyn and Janelle. Meri might feel differently about divorce and their religion.

She  was willing to fall in love with someone else when she was catfished

 

Edited March 5, 2020 by endure

[65mickey]

How did I miss that Dayton graduated with honors. Did Robyn or Dayton post his transcript somewhere? 

[VedaPierce]

On 3/2/2020 at 5:26 PM, TurtlePower said:

 

Has Meri ever apologized for anything she's done? 

Yes. She once said, "I'm sorry you think I took something that you thought was yours, JANELLE." In the most bitchiest way.

[DakotaJustice]

3 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

Yes. She once said, "I'm sorry you think I took something that you thought was yours, JANELLE." In the most bitchiest way.

You just reminded me of this...

 

[Sandy W]

44 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

How did I miss that Dayton graduated with honors. Did Robyn or Dayton post his transcript somewhere? 

I missed that too.  First I heard about it was here this week.

[Kyanight]

19 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

I missed that too.  First I heard about it was here this week.

Same here.  So maybe it isn't even true?  Not that it matters, I guess.

[crimson23]

9 hours ago, Onceafan said:

Kody is wrong to acknowledge Robyn as the only one apologizing and the only one being okay to be put anywhere on the land. As I discussed in my previous post Robyn is doing this for "secondary gains." She claims  she is not the victim and can't be a baby in her talking head, and yet, Robyn is the one crying, Robyn is the one who walked away from the situation, only to come back, once Meri was gone to complain to the rest of the family. Robyn freely blames Meri for getting her leftovers, and even in her apology she blames Meri. Make no mistake, Robyn was playing the victim as well as Meri, and yet was the only wife Kody gave a shout out to in the family discussion for being the most willing to live anywhere and for apologizing. This is secondary gains folks.

 

ty Onceafan for the analysis.  I love it and brings a lot into perspective.

I believe the there is a lot of resentment between Meri and Robyn stemming from when Meri bailed on the SWC jewelry business.   Even tho, Robyn wanted the whole family involved, it really was M/R doing most of the work and when Meri decided to end that and go back to school, thats when things changed in their friendship.  Did Meri even go back to school? no and after that came the catfishing, I believe. Now SWC is defunct and Meri has her 'successful' Lularoe  thing going on and leaving Robyn in the dirt. 

[Yeah No]

On 3/2/2020 at 4:46 PM, Onceafan said:

We literally saw, two women fighting over which one of the two got to claim a victim role over the division of the land. Both women wanted to claim that they were not given the choice and "just" had to take what was left.

Meri: She absolutely displays all of the characteristics of a victim mentality. Last night during the picnic she started the discussion about the division of the land with this,

"Kody told me where all of you are going to be and I'm just going to be back there."

This first statement is very agressive using words such as "just" and "back there" to show that the other three got what they wanted, and she's just being put out of the way with no consideration to her wants.

What is funny about Meri is duing her talking head, she called out Robyn for saying, she just has to settle for what's left, and that Robyn shouldn't say that, and act like she doesn't have a choice or that she is the low man on the totem pole because that isn't true.

What Meri really is saying, Robyn can't say that, because that is what I am claiming, and I am the low man on the totem pole, and I am the victim here, not her.

Robyn: She really does play the martyr well, but she plays it with what we call "secondary gains." When talking to Meri she states, "Yeah, I'll just take what's left. I did it before, I'll just do it again."

When talking with Kody she states, "No I don't have a choice I'm taking what she doesn't want."

Her "apology" she stated she was sorry for leaving in a huff. But listen to the rest of the apology.  "I felt like I didn't have a choice the first time you brought me out there and I felt like Meri was changing her mind and I was left again with no choice."

Then Robyn in her talking head states that if the family doesn't talk it out, then "Meri will continue to feel hurt, and Kody will still be frustrated."

This was an excellent post.  I'm late to this party but the way I see it is that Meri, as hard as it is to feel sympathy for her, is right about her being low man on the totem pole (at least in this case).  All the women are ultimately not given any real choice.  Kody is the one calling all the shots.  He hears her say something about liking trees so he goes ahead an puts her in the trees.  Without first double checking with her?  I get it that these two probably have very little contact with each other anymore, but on something this important him not checking with her before just going ahead with it in his plans is not right. 

Plus why is this all his decision anyway?  The wives are acting like they're falling on their swords trying to be the biggest martyr because that's their "role" to be such in a patriarchal situation.  The husband gets to give them what he wants to give them and the rest of them try to "one up" each other on who's taking the backseat for the team (in this case mostly Robyn).  Only Meri doesn't want to be forced into that crappy situation and probably never did, so she ends up looking like the most selfish one copping victim all the time when she really does have a beef with this arrangement, in my opinion.  Just don't stay in that situation and then keep playing that victim card over and over again.  She doesn't know how to confront Kody with how she REALLY feels because she's conflicted and still vacillates between wanting to acquiesce to his decisions on everything so as maybe to please him and indirectly herself, and wanting everything her own way even if it risks alienating him even further.  She knows that she is not offered any real say or compromise in the decision making and that ultimately no matter which way she goes she gets screwed.  If she goes her way she alienates both him and the other wives and looks selfish and bad.  If she acquiesces she gets stuck with something she doesn't want and wallows in how unfair that is.  So she ends up never really taking a stand and vacillating all over the place.  That's a position that ultimately Kody has put her in and is not fair in my opinion.

Kody thinks he is doing the "just" and "fair" thing by "trying to listen to what his wives want" before basically making their decisions for them, but that's not really fair or equitable either because in the end it's all about what he decides despite his attempts to look like he's giving in to what they want.  So the wives are left to squabble with each other and vacillate between what they really want and what he wants for them, and there's never going to be any real compromise on that.  Ultimately they either end up giving in to him or look bad, risk falling out of favor with him, and end up in conflict with each other. 

Meri has been looking bad for the entire duration of the series.  Some of that is her fault but some is because it's a crappy situation that isn't fair to any woman much less her.  She is so pissed about this status that she ends up saying "screw it", digging her heels in and demanding more and more because she doesn't get to make her own decisions, or at least have an equal say in the big decisions.  None of the wives have an equal say - at times each of them may get more favor from Kody and/or are more OK with him making their decisions for them regardless of how they feel about it, so they seem more agreeable as a result, while others may not get more favor and get railroaded into things they really don't want and aren't happy about feeling forced to accept.  Then they just put on the happy face and act like martyrs.  They're not really in control of any of the decisions, they are just left to either accept his way or bitch, whine and play victim about what decisions Kody ultimately makes for them.  And THAT's the REAL issue here.  The only thing these women have done wrong, even Meri, is accept this unequal arrangement.  It's obvious that it's not what any of them really wants and is not making any of them happy despite what they want the public to believe.

Edited March 5, 2020 by Yeah No

[ginger90]

8 hours ago, 65mickey said:

How did I miss that Dayton graduated with honors. Did Robyn or Dayton post his transcript somewhere? 

 

 

[65mickey]

That means nothing. Schools  try to make everyone feel special and say they are in advanced classes.  He may be a smart kid but this blue stole around his neck was probably handed out like candy. When my daughter graduated from college she told me that people were buying those colorful stoles if they did not earn one for cum laude or higher. I remember when Kara on the real housewives of OC graduated from high school she had on a stole that said valedictorian. It turned out that everyone in the class was given this recognition if they had a certain grade point average. 

[Kyanight]

7 hours ago, crimson23 said:

ty Onceafan for the analysis.  I love it and brings a lot into perspective.

I believe the there is a lot of resentment between Meri and Robyn stemming from when Meri bailed on the SWC jewelry business.   Even tho, Robyn wanted the whole family involved, it really was M/R doing most of the work and when Meri decided to end that and go back to school, thats when things changed in their friendship.  Did Meri even go back to school? no and after that came the catfishing, I believe. Now SWC is defunct and Meri has her 'successful' Lularoe  thing going on and leaving Robyn in the dirt. 

Well... technically she's not in the dirt.  She gets to sleep all morning like a princess and everything she wants is GIVEN to her - doesn't even HAVE to work because Kody will make sure this poor woman who gets the dredges and scraps and crumbs of the family will have the VERY BEST!!  So it's ALL GOOD!  😄 

Although I agree with you that she blames Meri for ruining her jewelry HOBBY.

[Kohola3]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

All the women are ultimately not given any real choice.  Kody is the one calling all the shots.

Because polygamy.  God speaks to him.  He's the head of this little gang of misfits.  He's the prophet on earth. It's his celestial planet they are all heading for.  Polygamy.

[KateHearts]

20 hours ago, Adiba said:

However, I have to see some side of the story from her point of view. In my opinion, KODY is a large part of the problem regarding the communication in that family.

He changes plans mid-stream and then acts as if everything must be done NOW. And if one of his wives disagrees,  she is accused of not having an open mind. If the plan goes sideways, he blames the wives. If the wives get along, he is not happy and thinks they are "ganging up" on him. If the wives disagree, he is not happy and "stressed" out it. 

I had a little realization dawn on me this morning (because I have too much time to think about it; and also because I've been watching the whole series from Season 1 so I'm getting a good perspective on how things have evolved with them over time).

Kody DOES set the tone for this entire family. They are taught in their "culture" that the man runs the family and what he says, goes. His theme, over and over and over, has been that they are driven by their beliefs, that God tells them to live the way that they do, and because others don't agree (or the law says differently) that they are victims.  There is an investigation into their living arrangement in Utah so they must flee in the night to escape persecution. They are met with stares in public; no one understands. Zoning won't allow for a giant multifamily home in Vegas. Poor them! It's ALWAYS about how maligned they are; how people frown on their beliefs, their culture, their beliefs, their lifestyle, etc. So as a result, they justify all of their stupid moves and blame everyone else- those of us who don't choose their way, who have legit jobs, aren't on TV, pay our taxes and our mortgage payments on time. We don't understand them. We are unkind, judgmental, narrow-minded people

In the microcosm of their family, they operate the same way. Kody facilitates the wives  opposing each other, no matter what he spouts about togetherness and unity (which he did in earlier seasons, but sure doesn't now). In this episode, Robyn was a victim ("I will take the leftover lot..." sigh...); Meri is a victim ("whatever; you are giving me mean looks and I'm uncomfortable.") Someone always has to be hurt, left out, villified.  

I can't totally blame Meri for being indecisive and manipulative because she has lived her  entire adult life thinking that the victim reaction is a way to cope and deflect from real issues. She can't face things head on because the Browns as a whole don't. They run away.  Over and over again. And this also explains why Robyn entered the family as a fresh-faced, smiling, sweet young woman and who now presents with a perpetual scowl, downturned face, and is complaining and even SWEARING on tv.  It's a remarkable transformation, and not in a good way. She has adapted the Brown way of facing life- they take no responsibility for their own stupid decisions.

As an aside, on the old episodes, the women all watched Kody raptly as he spoke on the couch, and they all openly kissed and hugged.  Interestingly, too, they dressed more conservatively (I just watched an episode where the ladies all went to a gym together and all wore long-sleeved bodysuits underneath their gym tanks) and drove really shitty beater vehicles.  Janelle had an old hoopdie Toyota with missing hubcaps and Christine's minivan was dented in the back. They are surely riding out the TLC check as long as they can at this point.

[Roslyn]

1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

As an aside, on the old episodes, the women all watched Kody raptly as he spoke on the couch, and they all openly kissed and hugged.  Interestingly, too, they dressed more conservatively (I just watched an episode where the ladies all went to a gym together and all wore long-sleeved bodysuits underneath their gym tanks) and drove really shitty beater vehicles.  Janelle had an old hoopdie Toyota with missing hubcaps and Christine's minivan was dented in the back. They are surely riding out the TLC check as long as they can at this point.

Once they left the fold of their church, and the hive mentality, it is harder and harder to keep to the strict rules.  You don't have neighbors and fellow church members to openly judge you and your children when you step out of line.  Christine could hardly hide her discomfort when she had to sit next to a Presbyterian minister inside of his church walls and then she calls his congregation "sharks". But jump ahead several years (living in Las Vegas) and Christine is explaining that she is aware she was raised in a bubble of fear and her eyes have been opened when she met other Christians that weren't only close to their God, but she believed they might be closer to their God than she was to hers.

Kody sees Maddie in her strapless wedding dress and declares her the most beautiful bride ever.  He sees Mykelti in her strapless wedding dress and says...yea...the dress was nice, wish it were more modest tho. He picks and chooses modesty based on his connection to the person. Go back to the beginning and Meri was jumping at Mykelti about her modesty for showing a touch of cleavage, then jump forward to Gwen in a tank top and a whole lot more than just cleavage.

People follow their beliefs and when they don't line up with a congregation they go off on their own.  Kody goes back and forth with his these days, following some and dismissing others. There is nothing wrong with growth, but I do find it amusing when he thinks that he will move to Las Vegas and thanks to reality show income he buys big houses and no one he knows will follow him.  Lather, rinse and repeat with Flagstaff and he wants everyone to look at how "yummy" it is and follow him, as if he is a person to follow.  Yet we know from posters here that Flagstaff does have polygamists, they just aren't worthy of Kody Brown's fellowship, or they see him as the 'make it up as he goes along' show boat that he is.

[xwordfanatik]

Is Mr. Wife Beater going to be Kootie's only plyg pal he deems worthy enough to be a neighbor?  That alone says a lot about his so-called 'religion' and his picking/choosing whatever he fills like doing at any time.  He's a complete showboat, and full of shit as well.

[texasbluebonnets]

There is a reason why polygamy is banned from Utah for centuries now.  Who in their right minds would be okay with sharing their husband sexually with three other women?  Even one other woman?  I don't care if they call it a spiritual union, it's openly cheating and Kody's been doing it for years now.  You can see how their lifestyle has affected every one of them, and it's been going on for years now.  They used to be seen praying together every night in Lehi.  Now they can't even stand to be in the same room with each other.  How does their lifestyle make them a better, stronger person?  In Janelle's opening line, "there's room for everyone" is a complete joke.  If they are in this lifestyle because of their faith, then they need to come back together as a family and NOT be divided like they are now.  I blame most of this on Robyn.  The minute she came into the picture is the minute this family was torn apart.  Shame on her, and shame on what she has done, and what she's still doing to this family.  I'd be sleeping until noon every day too, as I'd be scared to look at myself in the mirror knowing that I ruined the adults as well as all their kids.  I wish they would have caught Kody and put him in jail for life.  

[kicotan]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

She doesn't know how to confront Kody with how she REALLY feels because she's conflicted and still vacillates between wanting to acquiesce to his decisions on everything so as maybe to please him and indirectly herself, and wanting everything her own way even if it risks alienating him even further. 

I think that she’s spent enough time being immersed in and living her religious faith so that she knows exactly which part of their dogma to follow when it comes to appropriate and effective communication between wife/husband.  She’s also been to enough secular counseling sessions (individual, couple, family, etc.) to have a basic understanding of what some others in the world outside of her religious sect regard as appropriate and effective communication between married couples.

She’s doing exactly what she wants to do-for her poly fambly and ultimately for herself, no more, no less.  I’m sure she learned that meek routine she plays out in front of Kody/saywhatyouwillbehindhisback as a wee one at one of her mothers’ knees ~ plus it gives the scriptwriters plenty of material.  I am Meri’s Perpetual Angst.

[Roslyn]

14 minutes ago, kicotan said:

I think that she’s spent enough time being immersed in and living her religious faith so that she knows exactly which part of their dogma to follow when it comes to appropriate and effective communication between wife/husband.  She’s also been to enough secular counseling sessions (individual, couple, family, etc.) to have a basic understanding of what some others in the world outside of her religious sect regard as appropriate and effective communication between married couples.

And at the end of the day they are all emotionally enmeshed to Kody.  Both Meri and Christine have stated that the greatest torture is when they are on Kody's undesirable side and get to watch while he is sweet and kind to others and they are served a plate of cold indifference.

When conflict arises, instead of turning to the source of the miscommunication (Kody) they turn on each other instead. If they let Kody have it then they pay for it later (and their children pay as well). Its easier to bicker among the wives than to fight with the person they want positive attention from.

You see it in siblings as well.  One child gets abused and they are powerless to fight back so they turn and abuse the next in the pecking order.

[Kyanight]

7 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

And at the end of the day they are all emotionally enmeshed to Kody.  Both Meri and Christine have stated that the greatest torture is when they are on Kody's undesirable side and get to watch while he is sweet and kind to others and they are served a plate of cold indifference.

When conflict arises, instead of turning to the source of the miscommunication (Kody) they turn on each other instead. If they let Kody have it then they pay for it later (and their children pay as well). Its easier to bicker among the wives than to fight with the person they want positive attention from.

You see it in siblings as well.  One child gets abused and they are powerless to fight back so they turn and abuse the next in the pecking order.

In most families, the husband doesn't want to be in the middle of a quarrel between his wives.  It is the WIVE'S problem and they are expected to work it out between themselves and NOT bring the husband into it.  He doesn't want to hear it unless it can't be worked out and even then he is usually a mediator who expects you to talk it out in front of him and everyone prays about it and goes on their not-so-merry way.  It's hard for women to live together, go through life together and raise children together without conflict, and let's face it - none of these women chose the others to live with - they were BROUGHT together and have to make the best of it. 

 Look at the Brown wives and their personalities - they are all very different, and if they really HAD interests I doubt they would be shared by the other wives.  It doesn't really matter because they are a really estranged family at this point.  They will never live together again, the kids are almost all grown except for Robyn's, and they will rarely have to see each other, except on major holidays.  Robyn is living with her husband and probably pretends it's monogamous and maybe it IS these days, who knows.  

[Pickleinthemiddle]

17 hours ago, Kyanight said:

She was always a lazy and entitled kid and teenager - I doubt she changed now.

I used to be on another Sister Wives message board ( can't remember the name ).  Another poster used to work with someone from Robyn's family who used to dish on her.  Basically she was a mean girl growing up and is not as sweet and innocent as she portrayed herself to be.  The family member had to stop giving out information, because someone started complaining.

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I used to be on another Sister Wives message board ( can't remember the name ).  Another poster used to work with someone from Robyn's family who used to dish on her.  Basically she was a mean girl growing up and is not as sweet and innocent as she portrayed herself to be.  The family member had to stop giving out information, because someone started complaining.

Robyn WAS mean.  And always entitled.  And has always cried if she didn't get what she wanted.  She should have stayed a monogamist.

I wonder who complained.  Most likely Robyn.  Or Kody.  Who else would care enough about it to complain, lol.

[Teri313]

On 3/1/2020 at 7:57 PM, Pickleinthemiddle said:

Wow.  He ain't taking her crap no more.  Can't blame him.  When he said Meri has done that from day one I believe it.  I think she took advantage of being 1st wife for years and they all just caved into her most of the time because it would shut her up.  

Then again this could all be for the show.  The next big thing to keep the show going, is taking on another wife.  Yes it's going to have to happen if they want to keep the money coming in.

I don't think so with this one. And once Meri sees the footage of what took place after she left, I can't imagine she will forgive him for doing that for the world to see. If she even stays on the show in the family, I suspect we'll see a lot of Meri talking heads with her making cryptic remarks about it and not letting it go. I wish she would just leave already.

[Fig Newton]

I am here to solve the problem.

I will marry Kody. I will move "in the trees".

Robin, Meri and Kody are the most entitled pieces of shit I have ever witnessed. Not one ounce of humility or appreciation can be found in any of them. Mind boggling. Give me that land, and I will happily build a house that can accommodate me . I will live within my means and not need stupid shit like a wet bar or football field, just because.

Meri is just a lifeless blob as far as I am concerned. Her demeanor and hideous expressions while on the couch are so pathetic. That woman needs intense therapy. She is so totally disengaged from the family and sees her needs as the only needs with any level of importance. I can't with her!

Put four fucking numbers in a hat, pick a number. THAT IS YOUR LOT number. Now go build a damn house. Fair. Simple. Non-competetive.

While you head on out to your new house, Meri. Please, stop at Walmart and get some pressed powder for that shine...............

 

[Granny58]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

In most families, the husband doesn't want to be in the middle of a quarrel between his wives.  It is the WIVE'S problem and they are expected to work it out between themselves and NOT bring the husband into it. 

I suppose that applies when the conflict is between the wives, but when the conflict is with the husband it falls apart because the wife has to dill with it on her own while he can go off to the next sweet wife.  Shitty situation.    

 

were you in a plig family?

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

I suppose that applies when the conflict is between the wives, but when the conflict is with the husband it falls apart because the wife has to dill with it on her own while he can go off to the next sweet wife.  Shitty situation.    

 

were you in a plig family?

Many many moons ago.  

[xwordfanatik]

17 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Many many moons ago.  

I am sorry you had to go through that, especially if it was anything like the dysfunctional Brown Clowns.

I am also glad you are here now to share your perspective on things.  You've looked at life from both sides.  

Off topic:  do you have sheep?  My hairstylist's daughter raises dairy goats.  They're both such mellow animals.  With cute babies!

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, xwordfanatik said:

I am sorry you had to go through that, especially if it was anything like the dysfunctional Brown Clowns.

I am also glad you are here now to share your perspective on things.  You've looked at life from both sides.  

Off topic:  do you have sheep?  My hairstylist's daughter raises dairy goats.  They're both such mellow animals.  With cute babies!

LOL!   No, the sheep icon is just to show that I can laugh at myself and not take life too seriously.  Sister wives are called "Sheep", because most of them meekly follow their husband and his whims.  It's meant to be a real insult if you are called that.... but .. meh.   Shaun the sheep is the cutest sheep I know - so it's been my icon for as long as I can remember. (Not just on this site!)  I think there are much worse things in life to be called, than a sheep.  They are kind of wooly.. and cute.  (I'm no longer cute, though. ha ha!) 😄

 

[LibertarianSlut]

19 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

my husband is a morning person and I am a night person. He took the “early” kid shift and I would take the later. Robyn may have some similar situation going on where the older kids help out in the morning.

This!  This is the problem with their lifestyle.  Y’all know I love Robyn about as much as a pack of skunks, but it is so unfair that if she wanted to sleep until noon, there would be no husband to take the early shift, because he has three other fucking families.  

This is the reason I think they should all live together and have regular and layered communication.  I think the fact that they don’t want to live together is a symptom of this problem called polygamy.  And if your husband has—or you have reason to believe he is going to have—18 children, you have to be willing to put his kids first, even kids that are from a different mom, so there should be almost no private time for any of the couples before the kids are grown, which also breeds a ton of resentment.  

A marriage is a partnership.  Anyone who’s married knows it’s not an equal partnership—from my experience, it’s more like you’re each giving and getting 100%, not 50-50.  The structure of these polygamous relationships makes it so that is completely impossible.  How can Kody give 100% to four women and 18 kids simultaneously??  

I used to try to be open-minded and say “well, whatever works for them” and “who am I to say?”  But why should a woman share her husband?  Why would any woman want to?  Not to be too crass, but why would a man want this instead of banging a bunch of women aka regular cheating?  (I am completely against cheating, but I’m realizing I’m completely against this too).  It’s not holy for a man’s kids to only have one quarter of a father.  

And it’s really unfair to the wives.  I dunno.  This just dawned on me.  It got me angry.  Robyn is most definitely the one he spends the most time with, and Robyn still has to bring in outside help in the form of her niece and her older kids (who probably just want to live and be kids) because her damn husband is out running around being completely selfish, living out his whims, and he never has to take any blame or responsibility.  

Fuck him.  

[xwordfanatik]

20 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

LOL!   No, the sheep icon is just to show that I can laugh at myself and not take life too seriously.  Sister wives are called "Sheep", because most of them meekly follow their husband and his whims.  It's meant to be a real insult if you are called that.... but .. meh.   Shaun the sheep is the cutest sheep I know - so it's been my icon for as long as I can remember. (Not just on this site!)  I think there are much worse things in life to be called, than a sheep.  They are kind of wooly.. and cute.  (I'm no longer cute, though. ha ha!) 😄

 

All of us COL's are cute 🙂  And so is Shaun!

[Kyanight]

32 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

And it’s really unfair to the wives.  I dunno.  This just dawned on me.  It got me angry.  Robyn is most definitely the one he spends the most time with, and Robyn still has to bring in outside help in the form of her niece and her older kids (who probably just want to live and be kids) because her damn husband is out running around being completely selfish, living out his whims, and he never has to take any blame or responsibility.  

I guess I disagree with this last part.  Robyn came to the marriage LAST and knew EXACTLY what she was getting into - 3 other wives and eleventy-eleven other kids!  She already had three kids... so she knew exactly how much work kids can be - but if you are going to give birth to them you sure as heck need to raise them.  Having sister wives isn't an excuse to pawn off your little ones for someone else to raise while you snooze until noon and do whatever the hell it is you like to do with your days.  (I honestly have no clue what Robyn does with her days.)  Solomon was FOUR years old when Arielle was born - certainly already having had three children, Robyn could have been able to parent one infant and one child who was turning five years old that year?  How hard is it??  She certainly did NOT need to bring in outside help, (Janelle and Christine were married to that same lame-ass Kody and THEY managed to take care of a lot more kids than that without nannies) and her teens did not need to parent her younger children FOR her.  It's a total cop out to excuse ROBYN'S selfishness because Kody should have been home 24/7 to take care of their kids.  TONS and TONS of kids have dads who are deployed and aren't there... divorced families who have absentee fathers.... families where the father died young leaving the mother to raise the kids herself.  25% father is a lot more than any of those families get - although I think the ONLY kids that Kody fathers 25% of the time are ROBYN'S kids - the rest get nada/zero, vilch. (As Kody would say.)

Edited March 5, 2020 by Kyanight

[aimlessbird]

But Kody was so pleased that he could name all of his children the other day on that podcast.  What a dad!  😉

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, aimlessbird said:

But Kody was so pleased that he could name all of his children the other day on that podcast.  What a dad!  😉

I can almost guarantee you that he's been getting so much flak online for not knowing his kids that one of his wives (OTHER than Robyn who doesn't care) handed him a list of his kid's names to memorize so that he could name them.

[oceanview]

On 3/3/2020 at 8:39 PM, AryasMum said:

How they couldn’t figure out to put Janelle and Christine in the connecting apartments, knowing that Christine would have Janelle’s kids every day, is beyond me.  They really can’t grasp the fundamentals - even Janelle. 

Well Meri could not possibly be regulated to the BASEMENT apartment, with her one kid to make it easier for the one woman who took care of the entire tribe.    Also, she would have to listen to the stomping and banging of the one apartment over her head.        Poor thing, my great Aunt Fanny (that's an old  slogan, comparable to "Bless her heart").

[texasbluebonnets]

On 3/3/2020 at 5:01 PM, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

I remember my 1st apartment, I had to make sure that in alot of the 1 bedrooms I was in the market for- you didn't have to walk through my bedroom to get to the bathroom - that was a peeve of mine.  But it would drive me crazy that someone just can't make up their mind. She goes back and forth, I am surprised Robyn didn't blurt out that Meri was giving her whiplash as well.  Not even sure why they were fighting about what plots, its been like 2 years and shitill aint happening. Got all their panties in a wad for nothingk.  

Because without talking about the damn plot of land, they would not have anything to complain and argue about.  All of their lives are so boring now, that even TLC can't figure out what to tape anymore.  End it already

[oceanview]

On 3/3/2020 at 11:11 PM, Adeejay said:

I believe it's because it comes on between "90 Day Fiance" and "Pillow Talk".  Some viewers are either too lazy or can't be bothered to change the channel.  

Could it be because we are all sick of the news, weather traumas for the whole nation and politics?  And now a virus?

[AZChristian]

16 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I can almost guarantee you that he's been getting so much flak online for not knowing his kids that one of his wives (OTHER than Robyn who doesn't care) handed him a list of his kid's names to memorize so that he could name them.

Knowing how hard it is for Kody to remember stuff, Janelle (the "smart" one) probably came up with a mnemonic to help him remember.  The first letter of each kid's name would be represented in a sentence thusly:

Less

Audacious

Mormon

Men

Might

Have

Guessed;

Poisoned

DNA

Gives

Goofy

And

Young

Bachelors

Some

Truly

Stupid

Assumptions

[Kohola3]

Well done!  You should write for the "reality" show.

[LibertarianSlut]

18 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I guess I disagree with this last part.  Robyn came to the marriage LAST and knew EXACTLY what she was getting into - 3 other wives and eleventy-eleven other kids!  She already had three kids... so she knew exactly how much work kids can be - but if you are going to give birth to them you sure as heck need to raise them.  Having sister wives isn't an excuse to pawn off your little ones for someone else to raise while you snooze until noon and do whatever the hell it is you like to do with your days.  (I honestly have no clue what Robyn does with her days.)  Solomon was FOUR years old when Arielle was born - certainly already having had three children, Robyn could have been able to parent one infant and one child who was turning five years old that year?  How hard is it??  She certainly did NOT need to bring in outside help, (Janelle and Christine were married to that same lame-ass Kody and THEY managed to take care of a lot more kids than that without nannies) and her teens did not need to parent her younger children FOR her.  It's a total cop out to excuse ROBYN'S selfishness because Kody should have been home 24/7 to take care of their kids.  TONS and TONS of kids have dads who are deployed and aren't there... divorced families who have absentee fathers.... families where the father died young leaving the mother to raise the kids herself.  25% father is a lot more than any of those families get - although I think the ONLY kids that Kody fathers 25% of the time are ROBYN'S kids - the rest get nada/zero, vilch. (As Kody would say.)

I see what you’re saying.  But I was responding to a specific poster’s contention that she would take the late shift and her husband would take the early shift with the kids, and that was their mutually beneficial relationship.  I think it’s really unfair that Kody is not there to take any shift, because he has three other families.  I’m not saying he should be there 24-7.  I’m just saying she should be able to rely on him as a full-time husband.

Yes, divorce happens, but it’s not presented as an ideal.  For the vast majority of the population, I think divorce is a far cry from the ideal, so if it happens, of course you make do, but no one is making a TV show about divorce and how wonderful it is the way they are making a TV show about how wonderful polygamy is.

Deployment is trickier, I agree.  I give those families a lot of credit for sacrificing for their country, and I an in awe of them.  

There is no unselfish end to a man who “marries” four women at once, I guess is all I’m trying to say.  Good point that Robyn came into this arrangement with three, but once Kody adopted them, they became as much his responsibility as Kody’s other kids.  Which is why I don’t think Robyn should have wanted to join this family, nor should she have been allowed in.  

I think it was harder for the others, and they did a better job.  I agree there.  

I dunno.  I think Robyn is a manipulative bitch, but everyone suffers when there are not mature responsible adults minding the kids, and I can’t see how that can be effectuated properly if the two-parent model is discarded.  I completely understand that some people have no choice—sometimes a spouse dies, and then what the hell do you do?  I get it.  I just don’t think they should set out on this path, accepting it as the norm, and then saying, “oh, what the hell happened?  I’ve functionally become a single mom, because my husband is following the plan, thus he’s absent 3/4 of the time.”

Robyn is no victim, because she did go into this with eyes wide open.  The kids are the ones that suffer the most.  And their moms don’t protect them nearly enough IMO.  That lame trip he took with the girls to the beach in California was too little, too late embodied to the fullest, but the blame goes around.  

[aimlessbird]

3 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I see what you’re saying.  But I was responding to a specific poster’s contention that she would take the late shift and her husband would take the early shift with the kids, and that was their mutually beneficial relationship.  I think it’s really unfair that Kody is not there to take any shift, because he has three other families.  I’m not saying he should be there 24-7.  I’m just saying she should be able to rely on him as a full-time husband.

Yes, divorce happens, but it’s not presented as an ideal.  For the vast majority of the population, I think divorce is a far cry from the ideal, so if it happens, of course you make do, but no one is making a TV show about divorce and how wonderful it is the way they are making a TV show about how wonderful polygamy is.

Deployment is trickier, I agree.  I give those families a lot of credit for sacrificing for their country, and I an in awe of them.  

There is no unselfish end to a man who “marries” four women at once, I guess is all I’m trying to say.  Good point that Robyn came into this arrangement with three, but once Kody adopted them, they became as much his responsibility as Kody’s other kids.  Which is why I don’t think Robyn should have wanted to join this family, nor should she have been allowed in.  

I think it was harder for the others, and they did a better job.  I agree there.  

I dunno.  I think Robyn is a manipulative bitch, but everyone suffers when there are not mature responsible adults minding the kids, and I can’t see how that can be effectuated properly if the two-parent model is discarded.  I completely understand that some people have no choice—sometimes a spouse dies, and then what the hell do you do?  I get it.  I just don’t think they should set out on this path, accepting it as the norm, and then saying, “oh, what the hell happened?  I’ve functionally become a single mom, because my husband is following the plan, thus he’s absent 3/4 of the time.”

Robyn is no victim, because she did go into this with eyes wide open.  The kids are the ones that suffer the most.  And their moms don’t protect them nearly enough IMO.  That lame trip he took with the girls to the beach in California was too little, too late embodied to the fullest, but the blame goes around.  

Robyn also knew about the 3 other wives before becoming pregnant with her last 2 children.  She's crying over spilled milk. It's called life choices.   It's also rather heartless of her to expect Kody to give up time from his other children just to placate and nurture her brood.  The manipulation in this family makes me sick.

[texasbluebonnets]

3 minutes ago, aimlessbird said:

Robyn also knew about the 3 other wives before becoming pregnant with her last 2 children.  She's crying over spilled milk. It's called life choices.   It's also rather heartless of her to expect Kody to give up time from his other children just to placate and nurture her brood.  The manipulation in this family makes me sick.

Didn't I hear Robyn say that the minute her kids are up in the morning, they are wanting their dad, like right away?  

That's what normal kids want...their dad.  How can Kody not only see his kids daily, but know what is going on in their daily lives?  

[Kyanight]

13 minutes ago, texasbluebonnets said:

Didn't I hear Robyn say that the minute her kids are up in the morning, they are wanting their dad, like right away?  

That's what normal kids want...their dad.  How can Kody not only see his kids daily, but know what is going on in their daily lives?  

My kids didn't want their dad.   I wonder if Kody's kids by his other wives wanted him right away when they woke up?  My guess is no.  Robyn raises her kids to be VERY dependent.  I mean, when you are spoon feeding them up to the age of 3-4 and have LONG rituals for bed time and they have to sleep with you, etc. etc. etc. - of course they are going to need the parent every step of the way.  But our job as parents is to help our children be independent and have little successes every step of the way.

 

**** I should probably clarify.  Robyn's younger kids were born into polygamy - by Robyn's choice.  All children of polygamists know that their father has other kids from a very young age - from the time they are older infants they hear/recognize other kids calling their dad, "dad".  They also are raised knowing that other kids also get Dad's attention.  I had 8 kids - they all knew that sometimes another child needed my time and attention, and if they were patient I would take care of whatever they wanted, or their oldest sister would.  Right or wrong - welcome to polygamy.

So why are Robyn's children unique and more deserving than any of the rest of Kody's kids?  Because ROBYN believes they are.

 

P.S.  I want to like my own post because of that last sentence.  lol

Edited March 5, 2020 by Kyanight

[aimlessbird]

1 minute ago, Kyanight said:

My kids didn't want their dad.   I wonder if Kody's kids by his other wives wanted him right away when they woke up?  My guess is no.  Robyn raises her kids to be VERY dependent.  I mean, when you are spoon feeding them up to the age of 3-4 and have LONG rituals for bed time and they have to sleep with you, etc. etc. etc. - of course they are going to need the parent every step of the way.  But our job as parents is to help our children be independent and have little successes every step of the way.

We must remember that Robyn was shown on camera in season one coaching her 3 children to call Kody Dad or Daddy even before they had their spiritual marriage ceremony.  Robyn knows what she is doing.

 

[Sofa Sloth]

44 minutes ago, oceanview said:

Well Meri could not possibly be regulated to the BASEMENT apartment, with her one kid to make it easier for the one woman who took care of the entire tribe.    Also, she would have to listen to the stomping and banging of the one apartment over her head.        Poor thing, my great Aunt Fanny (that's an old  slogan, comparable to "Bless her heart").

I imagine if we could go back and watch a televised version of them moving into the Lehi house that Janelle purchased, it would be the same deal as all the other houses with ol’ Mare holding everyone to ransom, so she can have her first choice of the supreme top floor apartment, practicalities be damned!  It’s the same formula every house move; I want the sunlight for queen More-riah, wet bar, French doors, 8 bedrooms, trees, insert-other-stupid-demand here... I feel like she’s not satisfied until she can feel like top dog with her material things, by lording them over the other wives - an attitude like ‘well you have all the kids, but look at all my stuff you can’t have because you have them.’  
 

The worst thing is she takes from the other wives (therefore their kids) to get what she wants, like when Christine was asked for some of her budget to fund the Vegas wet bar and french doors, or when she took way more funds (from Janelle’s 401k) to have an unnecessary 5 bedroom rental (then had the audacity to sarcastically tell Janelle ‘I’m sooorrry I took something you thought was yours Janelle’ when questioned on that decision). 

She really is an awful selfish person, completely not cut out for polygamy. Isn’t the whole point of having sister wives in their religion, to learn to sacrifice for the greater good of the family? Meri wouldn’t understand that concept if it smacked her over the head with a big ol’ box of her moldy Lularoe leggings. 

Edited March 5, 2020 by Sofa Sloth

[texasbluebonnets]

12 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

My kids didn't want their dad.   I wonder if Kody's kids by his other wives wanted him right away when they woke up?  My guess is no.  Robyn raises her kids to be VERY dependent.  I mean, when you are spoon feeding them up to the age of 3-4 and have LONG rituals for bed time and they have to sleep with you, etc. etc. etc. - of course they are going to need the parent every step of the way.  But our job as parents is to help our children be independent and have little successes every step of the way.

 

**** I should probably clarify.  Robyn's younger kids were born into polygamy - by Robyn's choice.  All children of polygamists know that their father has other kids from a very young age - from the time they are older infants they hear/recognize other kids calling their dad, "dad".  They also are raised knowing that other kids also get Dad's attention.  I had 8 kids - they all knew that sometimes another child needed my time and attention, and if they were patient I would take care of whatever they wanted, or their oldest sister would.  Right or wrong - welcome to polygamy.

So why are Robyn's children unique and more deserving than any of the rest of Kody's kids?  Because ROBYN believes they are.

 

P.S.  I want to like my own post because of that last sentence.  lol

very well written, thank you for sharing your life experiences.

[xwordfanatik]

14 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

I imagine if we could go back and watch a televised version of them moving into the Lehi house that Janelle purchased, it would be the same deal as all the other houses with ol’ Mare holding everyone to ransom, so she can have her first choice of the supreme top floor apartment, practicalities be damned!  It’s the same formula every house move; I want the sunlight for queen More-riah, wet bar, French doors, 8 bedrooms, trees, insert-other-stupid-demand here... I feel like she’s not satisfied until she can feel like top dog with her material things, by lording them over the other wives - an attitude like ‘well you have all the kids, but look at all my stuff you can’t have because you have them.’  
 

The worst thing is she takes from the other wives (therefore their kids) to get what she wants, like when Christine was asked for some of her budget to fund the Vegas wet bar and french doors, or when she took way more funds (from Janelle’s 401k) to have an unnecessary 5 bedroom rental (then had the audacity to sarcastically tell Janelle ‘I’m sooorrry I took something you thought was yours Janelle’ when questioned on that decision). 

She really is an awful selfish person, completely not cut out for polygamy. Isn’t the whole point of having sister wives in their religion, to learn to sacrifice for the greater good of the family? Meri wouldn’t understand that concept if it smacked her over the head with a big ol’ box of her moldy Lularoe leggings. 

Meri ruled the Lehi house with an iron fist.  Witness:  LEGAL! marriage certificate on her bedroom wall.  Getting a full THIRD of total income, even though More-iah (thank you to whomever/whoever came up with name, it's perfect) was her only child.  Meri demanded and got as much money (most of which she didn't work for and earn) as Janelle and Christine, each with 6 times as many kids!  On what fucking planet could that EVER be considered 'fair?'

And then to secure a TV show (and easy money especially for that asshat sperm donor Kootie,) in waltzes skinny youngish number 4th wife Robyn.  I can see how HBIC Meri was completely fooled by this interloper.  After all, Meri is so delusional that she convinced herself that a younger, hot-looking stud with millions of dollars was in love with her!  Was anyone else fooled by the recordings of the female catfisher, thinking THAT VOICE, was a MAN'S voice?  Not I.

Robyn played Meri like a virtuoso musician plays an instrument.  That little comedy where Kootie claims his now-legal wife gets "table scraps?"  Even the most devoted sycophants of this fucked-up 'family' HAD to see right through that bullshit!