S07.E12: I Do and I Don't Know

[Mrs. Hanson]

50 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

First off, nobody carries a checkbook anymore.

In a small voice:  I do!  I carry two!  One is mine and one is a joint w/ hubby.  I must admit, I clearly do not know why I do this as I write about one check per month from each!  I am old school?  Habit?  Comfort?  Security?  I am turning into cranky old lady who will never change?

 

23 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

She always has that slightly stunned look.

Well now we know where Babat Daveed gets it from.  I really did NOT need to see Sasha in his underwear!

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I think where Mike lives in Washington State is known for lavender farms, do we know what Mike grows on his farm?

When we first “met” Mike, they said it was a tree farm. 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Tania likes to think she’s so unconventional and free-spirited and the object of envy for all of us oppressed, traditional women with our “jobs” and “bras that fit properly.” But she’s actually quite rigid and miserable; she’s just chosen a different set of rules. She’s not open or warm or dynamic. She also needs bangs. 
 

None of these couples seem like a good match to me. They range from questionable (Mike and Juliana) to “enjoy your 2-4 years of relative happiness before inevitable crash and burn” (Angela and Michael) to DANGER WARNING MISTAKE MISTAKE (Emily and Sasha, Blake and Jasmin, sweet Syngin and his succubus). 

[libgirl2]

51 minutes ago, politichick said:

Well, you've all said it all. 

Sarah did look like a slop, while Juliana was beautiful. Her dress was exquisite, the hair perfect. She can look at the photos 50 years froim now and pat herself on the back. Thank goodness she can help CeCe as she explores fashion and makeup because clearly the mother is a dud. I think both CeCe and Max are adorably precocious and it is likely they make up their own lines.

The girl marrying the Russian, however, looked like a fucking ghost with that hideous grey hair and the white dress. She will look back at her wedding photos and shriek.

While she is tearing them up after Sasha dumps her for baby momma #4. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

13 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Jasmin may need to figure out how to get to some Hollywood type parties to meet wealthier

If she can find any at which alcohol isn’t being served.

[blubld43]

7 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Well now we know where Babat Daveed gets it from.  I really did NOT need to see Sasha in his underwear!

He really thinks he's all that. I don't see it at all, but maybe my scorn for his non parenting is skewing my vision.

Someone upthread said all these people think way too much of themselves, and I couldn't agree more. Natalie, Tania, Sasha, Jasmine, they all seem to think they're ever so special.

 

[MajorNelson]

5 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I had to laugh at the Anny shoe-buying scene.  She's standing in front of a wall of orthopedic Grandma shoes and there is a lone red pump which she grabs and says, "I like these."  They need to stage these scenes a little better.  

 

I love the construction boots she was sitting next to.  😄

[Auntie Anxiety]

10 hours ago, Jade Foxx said:

What is it with Michael’s ex-wife’s determination to look so disheveled and haggard on national television? No makeup, wonky eyebrows, sad sundresses. She always looks a hot ass bedraggled MESS. 

 

Sarah didn’t want to take any of the attention off Juliana, thus she showed up looking like the cleaning staff.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, FrancescaFiore said:

First off, nobody carries a checkbook anymore.

At least it was a “Louie” checkbook or knockoff. Actually it looked like a checkbook/wallet clutch which I think people still carry. 

Edited January 27, 2020 by magemaud

[greekmom]

4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Oh gawd! Anna's kids are going to have some things to talk to a therapist about!

I swear, TLC is prepping for their new spin off in a few years: "My Parent(s) Were On a Reality TV show and it messed me up!"  They can start off with the Gosslin kids when they turn of age and move from there.  Eventually they will get to the kids featured on 90 days.

4 hours ago, OFDgal said:

I yelled at the TV, "You are his mother!" when she said that.  What an awful thing to say.  She is a horrible mother because that is obviously what she thinks and feels.

I swear I think partially this is all TLC contrived.  For example, at the last minute you'll see Joey attend the wedding and hug his mother.  Extra props if TLC promised Joe a new xbox or whatever and he hugs Mursel and calls him Papa.  😂

 

Edited January 27, 2020 by greekmom
spelling of Turkish hubba hubba's name

[LGGirl]

Emily is an idiot.  

Angela needs to stay in Africa.  

Michael’s ex is a famewhore and needs to keep her kids off TV. 

Juliana was stunning. 

Anna has no business getting married.  

Don’t buy what Bryson’s grandparents were selling.  Robert was right, if they wanted to help out their grandson then pay for college.  They are full of shit. 

Syngin needs to hightail it back to South Africa.  He is too good for Tanya. 

Mike needs to find a nice girl here in the US. 

[Gobi]

3 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I think where Mike lives in Washington State is known for lavender farms, do we know what Mike grows on his farm?

Meth and weed.

[MajorNelson]

36 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

she’s just chosen a different set of rules.

Wow, great comment and I'm serious.  Whether Left, Right, woke or caveman, we are following "our" rules.

Edited January 27, 2020 by MajorNelson

[magemaud]

4 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Meth and weed.

Oh, THOSE kind of "trees"! And Bojangles can cook the meth in his he shed. 

[FrancescaFiore]

43 minutes ago, magemaud said:

When we first “met” Mike, they said it was a tree farm. 

Sure, that's the cover story, but we all know what's really going on there. They're growing an army of Bojangles...es.

[magemaud]

After Murcel said a "chock"* tearful goodbye at the airport, Anna said, "The boys are SO upset that Murcel is leaving..." At the time I thought, "Yeah, right! If anything, they're relieved he's gone!" Now they're supposedly upset he's coming back? Which is it? 

* From now on I am replacing the word "very" with "chock" in a nod to my new Turkish vocabulary. 

Edited January 27, 2020 by magemaud

[FrancescaFiore]

Just now, magemaud said:

* From now on I am replacing the word "very" with "chock" in a nod to my new Turkish vocabulary. 

It always makes me giggle when I hear Morsel say "chock" because it reminds me of that little caveman guy from the old Land of the Lost series, Chaka. He and his whole caveman family's whole rudimentary language was built around the word 'chock.' Hence, the character's name. LOL!

[AZChristian]

25 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Meth and weed.

That's what Beau grows.  Mike grows trees.  LOL.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

14 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

*Spit take*

Silent but deadly (sbd) fart?

[Baltimore Betty]

If Porno Granny can write a check for $15,000 then why can't she help Robert out a bit, like subsidize his income so he can get a two bedroom apartment and some decent furniture, her grandson is affected so I would think the grandparents would help out.

What is the deal with Anna's make up?  How is she so off the mark everytime?

[FrancescaFiore]

11 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

What is the deal with Anna's make up?  How is she so off the mark everytime?

Right?? It's like she has a face-sized makeup stamp that she uses and never seems to get it centered correctly before stamping her face with it. 

[BallisticNikki]

5 hours ago, Blo Town said:

Mike is an impressively ethical and calm man. Yes, Natalie is phenomenally beautiful. But Mike deserves so much better. I am not sure how old he is, seems pretty young especially to have purchased a  whole farm...I bet he will mature a bit and figure it out. 

He's 34 and divorced. Bought the farm from his father.

4 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Judgment on what is legit love from porn stars who fuck strangers outside their relationship for a living  ? Sit down.

And what is legit parenting from someone who raised a piece of crap deadbeat. Take several seats. They are so vile!!! Or at least the edit they're getting is. I hope it's shenanigans. It has to be. 

***

I now realize who Jasmin reminds me of, thanks to the cosmetic procedures.

 

Edited January 27, 2020 by BallisticNikki

[Guest]

This episode was incredibly staged and fake, from Mursel magically deciding to "come back" on a no return visa to porn granny whipping out a check, but I did thoroughly enjoy how unimpressed Tania's own friends were with her fake woke bullshit and total lack of self-awareness.

Everyone's cracking on Sarah for looking homely, but she just looks normal to me. Not everyone feels the need to have 7 beauty appointments or a full face of makeup for an event. Why even bother when Juliana is next to you? She's not conventionally attractive, but most people aren't. I just think she's very lowkey about appearance. And Michael looked like a cartoon character on his way home from a bender and Juliana couldn't keep her hands off him, so beauty is clearly in the eye of the beholder.

[FrancescaFiore]

[BallisticNikki]

2 hours ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

Everyone's cracking on Sarah for looking homely, but she just looks normal to me. Not everyone feels the need to have 7 beauty appointments or a full face of makeup for an event. Why even bother when Juliana is next to you? She's not conventionally attractive, but most people aren't. I just think she's very lowkey about appearance. And Michael looked like a cartoon character on his way home from a bender and Juliana couldn't keep her hands off him, so beauty is clearly in the eye of the beholder.

No, I think it's like she goes out of her way to look childish and bedraggled. Like vibing Ramona Quimby, age 8. It's a very curious anti-woman statement imo.

 

Edited January 27, 2020 by BallisticNikki

[sasha206]

So many hilarious comments on this thread.  I love you all so much!

[FrancescaFiore]

Oh, shit! I forgot to mention the first thing that made me GUFFAW in this episode! When Emptily & Sasha were bickering in the car about his crazy driving (road/roid-rage) and Betsy turned to baby David and said, "Tomorrow's the HAPPY day!" OMG, that was funny.

[Mr. Miner]

If groundhog looking Tania is so fucking "woke", I don't want to be woke, so don't wake me up.

[brillia79]

9 hours ago, magemaud said:

I thought it was funny how they didn’t show the outside of the shoe store that Robert took Anny to but it was obviously a discount outlet. Then Robert acted all generous telling her she could get the red shoes and that the price didn’t matter.  

Why pay more when you can Payless?

(but really, I wonder which store that was?)

[essexjan]

Juliana looked absolutely gorgeous but Michael couldn't even buy dress shoes to wear for the wedding. And Sarah opened the wedding by talking about herself for ten minutes. Really?

 

[magemaud]

27 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

I now realize who Jasmin reminds me of, thanks to the cosmetic procedures.

 

This was the "Twilight Zone" I was referring to in the Live Chat. There were also these people in another episode:  

[magemaud]

This is what I thought of when I saw Michael in his tux: 

[Gobi]

18 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

So many hilarious comments on this thread.  I love you all so much!

Liar! You never loved us!

[Colfrmb2]

somebody start a go fund me page and we can buy Robert’s kid a bed, Sasha 2-3 nice, size appropriate tshirts, Tania a bra, just one, Mursel, a box of tissue so he doesn’t need to wipe his crocodile tears on the furniture, Big Ang gets a fanny pack.  What else?  Maybe we step up Juliana’s bicycle to a scooter?

I feel duped, but who am I kidding, finding out that Angela has been on Maury not once but twice showcasing her dirty laundry (pun intended) and she finally found another TV show that would pay for her abusive behavior.

[Callaphera]

Shoutout to Emily for being completely unflappable in the face of Bitchy Betsy trying to needle her into a reaction about the dress Betsy chose (Emily: *shrug* "Okay.") and then further pointing out that it's not in the colours that Emily wanted for her wedding (Emily: *shrug* "I like it."). She was surprisingly chill and for a moment, it was hard to remember that she was the same one who developed a case of the vapours whenever a meeting with one of Sasha's 90 ex-wives didn't go well. 

Is weed legal in Oregon? That might explain it. No way a single mimosa in a plastic glass got her that relaxed. 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

34 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Liar! You never loved us!

She's just using us for a Primetimer green card.

23 minutes ago, Callaphera said:

Shoutout to Emily for being completely unflappable in the face of Bitchy Betsy trying to needle her into a reaction about the dress Betsy chose (Emily: *shrug* "Okay.") and then further pointing out that it's not in the colours that Emily wanted for her wedding (Emily: *shrug* "I like it."). She was surprisingly chill and for a moment, it was hard to remember that she was the same one who developed a case of the vapours whenever a meeting with one of Sasha's 90 ex-wives didn't go well. 

Is weed legal in Oregon? That might explain it. No way a single mimosa in a plastic glass got her that relaxed. 

Betsy was definitely trolling with that dress choice. She and Sarah both went shopping at the Passive-Aggressive Wedding Guest boutique. Motto: "We guarantee you won't look good."

Lightweight Cheap Date checking in: a single mimosa in a plastic glass would, indeed, have that effect on me. Maybe Emily is a lightweight since she's been pregnant and nursing for the past year, and her tolerance is somewhere between mine and that big ol' baby of hers'.

[cinsays]

53 minutes ago, essexjan said:

Juliana looked absolutely gorgeous but Michael couldn't even buy dress shoes to wear for the wedding. And Sarah opened the wedding by talking about herself for ten minutes. Really?

 

the sneakers? …..that's to make him look young, like his child-bride

[Frozendiva]

I can understand wearing sneakers if he was doing a lot of setting up for the wedding. If it had rained and the ground was wet, good shoes with leather soles could be soaked and damaged. Maybe he had his shoes ready to change for the ceremony. High heeled shoes for women can also sink in grass. Hence the need for some sort of rug or something

[cinsays]

4 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

I can understand wearing sneakers if he was doing a lot of setting up for the wedding. If it had rained and the ground was wet, good shoes with leather soles could be soaked and damaged. Maybe he had his shoes ready to change for the ceremony. High heeled shoes for women can also sink in grass. Hence the need for some sort of rug or something

I would not imagine that this fool would have any desire to help set things up for the wedding, but, guess stranger things have happened.  still think he thinks it makes him young and cool.

[sasha206]

Somehow on first viewing I missed the parking lot by the sea wedding ceremony.  And the confusion that Sasha has on what he's supposed to do despite this being his 3rd marriage.  Emily with her, 'He's not used to an American wedding..."  BWAHAHAHAHAHA.  Sasha is so checked out.

[Baltimore Betty]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

This is what I thought of when I saw Michael in his tux: 

Michael's clip on bow tie made me laugh but this...this is hilarious!

[Colfrmb2]

i bet Sasha announces that he’s not wearing a wedding ring because it bothers him when he works out...  how conveeeeenient.

[EastCoast4Life]

7 hours ago, Blo Town said:

But WTF Syngin? How did such a nice and attractive guy with the best hair genes ever get roped into this hell?

He is blessed in the hair department, but unfortunately, he has attached his wagon to the worst person EVER. Tania has no redeeming qualities. NONE.

4 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Anna's son:  "What are we doing here?"  Anna:  "I am about to crush your spirit for the eighth time.  Drink up, buddy boy!!!"

Yes, they had already gone through the emotional roller coaster of his departure, but surprise! He's coming back and we're getting married. Are you kidding me? 

[BallisticNikki]

2 hours ago, essexjan said:

Juliana looked absolutely gorgeous but Michael couldn't even buy dress shoes to wear for the wedding. And Sarah opened the wedding by talking about herself for ten minutes. Really?

 

eww is he taking a leak? 

I can't believe anyone has sex w/ him...

[the-grey-lady]

Anna: How do you feel about Mursel coming back?

Son: I don't care.

Anna: So you like Mursel?

Son: Kinda.

Anna: I'm so GLAD they're so HAPPY for ME!

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, Colfrmb2 said:

somebody start a go fund me page and we can buy Robert’s kid a bed, Sasha 2-3 nice, size appropriate tshirts, Tania a bra, just one, Mursel, a box of tissue so he doesn’t need to wipe his crocodile tears on the furniture, Big Ang gets a fanny pack.  What else?  Maybe we step up Juliana’s bicycle to a scooter?

I feel duped, but who am I kidding, finding out that Angela has been on Maury not once but twice showcasing her dirty laundry (pun intended) and she finally found another TV show that would pay for her abusive behavior.

Big Angela needs a bra as well plus clothes that cover her ta-ta's.  Michael needed to rent/buy DRESS SHOES for his wedding.  

Back to my checkbooks:  At least Porn Gramma had a combo wallet deal that looked to be designer.  Mine are plastic, free from the bank!!!  DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!  She really should have used that money, as someone said to buy Robert out of his lease, get a two bedroom apartment and get Bryson a bed.  Husband of Porn Granny was way speculative!!!!  "I think they really want this......"  "They say this but I bet they are thinking that......"  Shut your Dorito Hole.  Towards the end of what was a highly scripted scene, I am sure, I wanted someone to say, "So I guess brunch is off??"

Sarah did not have to be super made up but she looked dishevelled!  

[BallisticNikki]

So in the coming attraction for next week, Sarah revisits the "pre-nut" situation and continues badgering Michael about it. 

I wonder how she'd feel about him having more kids. Or maybe she knows he can't have any more? I wouldn't get involved if my exhusband got remarried but secretly I would hope he wouldn't have any more kids. 

[iwasish]

2 hours ago, brillia79 said:

Why pay more when you can Payless?

(but really, I wonder which store that was?)

No BOGO at Payless? 
Red heels at a wedding?

[Frozendiva]

A lot of brides forked out for the blue Manolo Blahnik Hangisi pumps to use as their wedding shoes - like Carrie in Sex and the City. Or the knockoff.

Red shoes may work for a certain look but you would think Anny would want some sparkly sandal.

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, magemaud said:

At least it was a “Louie” checkbook or knockoff. Actually it looked like a checkbook/wallet clutch which I think people still carry. 

I never use checks, but I have a few for online payments.  My checks are like 100 years old and don't have my current address......THATS how often I writer personal checks. 

Anyways I've decided that PSG is full of shit.  If she REALLY wanted to pay anny off she could have brought cold, hard cash and laid out fifteen grand in front of anny.  She would have been on the next flight out. 

Barring that, anny should have called PSGs bluff and demanded 2 million dollars. 

11 minutes ago, iwasish said:

No BOGO at Payless? 
Red heels at a wedding?

Payless is closing a massive number of stores.  He probably got those shoes for a song....or 75% off a song.  either that or they travelled back 5-10 years ago when that shoe was stylish.  

Edited January 27, 2020 by RealReality