S10.E04: One Night Spouse

[endure]

3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Like others have said, she started out more gingerly, but then got frustrated.  And I was cheering her on, the same way I yell at the host "Make him answer yes or no!" on tell-alls.

 

I'm always on the lookout for editing high jinks--like watching the time on the giant wristwatch one of the guys was wearing.  Or the levels of liquid in glasses during a conversation.  Or Mindy's hallway walking in footage that was positioned in a way to make us think it happened that first night in Panama, while it appears from her makeup that that's not the case.

With people's looks, unless the editing team has put in an enormous amount of work to always use footage only if the person looks horrible, for example, at least we can have some confidence that what we're seeing as people looks is relatively real.  So at least we can have confidence that it's knowledgeable snark.

 

Yes i get that, I should have been more clear in saying regarding snarking about peoples looks ie the size of their teeth, nose etc, the things a person can’t change about their looks.  

 

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

48 minutes ago, seasick said:

I can't think of who they are. Can you refresh my memory? I'm losing track of all these couples. Thanks. I'm assuming they were USA couples. I don't know shows in other countries.

Dave and Amber, in Dallas.  She was a brunette during the casting, but bleached her hair before the wedding, and was always insecure because Dave had expressed a preference for brunettes. 

It turned out they went to the same gym, and she had dated someone Dave knew from there, and he never got over it (hence the "sloppy seconds").  When asked by the "experts" to rate her on a scale of 1-10 as a wife, he rated her a "5", which he thought meant okay but she took it as horrible, and never got over it.

I can't believe I know this.

 

3 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Honestly, how cute is this outfit?

Super cute.  But that one outfit costs more than I spent on clothes in the last year, including replacement tennis shoes and expensive bras.

That would be one good thing about getting MAFS--you don't have to buy a new outfit, because he's never seen any of the old ones.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

5 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Super cute.  But that one outfit costs more than I spent on clothes in the last year, including replacement tennis shoes and expensive bras.

That would be one good thing about getting MAFS--you don't have to buy a new outfit, because he's never seen any of the old ones.

I get that -- a lot of these pieces go on major sale (50-70% off by the end of the season; some are 30% off right now) or could be duped elsewhere. It seems like most of the people on this show have some disposable income. I'm not a fancy-fashion person so I can't spot designer clothes, though. 

On this topic, I wonder what exactly MAFS screens for financially or how deep they dig. We've heard some things about debt and spending, like Danielle (Dallas, but actually Fort Worth -- I'm too Texan to not specify) and her credit cards, but offhand I don't remember whether any couples have had big issues with one spouse's debt after the wedding. It seems like they choose people who have either a decent amount of expendable income, or at least present themselves as such. Statistically, more than one has to have been living on credit cards and loans. If I'm remembering correctly, at least two of the current people (contestants? characters? victims?) are in graduate school, which is usually not the peak of a person's economic journey. 

[Alexander Pope]

On 1/22/2020 at 8:24 PM, valdawn said:

Was coming here to say the same. There are very few nights I ever get in bed without at least a quick shower. 
 I would have probably been more insistent than he was but maybe he was after the cameras were off which led to the not building attraction comment. 

When I'm exhausted before bed, I take a bath--but they made that much harder to do for people in this awkward situation by putting the tub in the bedroom!

[GettingGray]

I've watched every season and the most annoying thing each year is showing the couples brushing their teeth.  I really hate it!

Another random point; I don't believe the experts try real hard to find perfect matches.  The purpose of most TV shows is to be entertaining enough to get advertising dollars.  If all the couple were matched correctly, the show would have all Bobbys and Daniels and the viewership would go way down, then the show would be canceled.

 

[ShowFan]

On 1/23/2020 at 8:38 PM, Delta Blow said:

All I ever wanted was the straight hair everyone else had.

Oh the irony! I have perfectly straight hair by birth and I go out of my way keeping it in a bun so that it gets some curls!

[ShowFan]

Alright so I finally saw the rest of this week’s episode:

- Not showering after travel is absolutely gross. Sorry, Mindy, I like you but that was terrible 

- The rooms layout is super weird. I’ve traveled all over the world to many hotels and resorts and the only time I had a bath tub in the bedroom was in a mountain cabin. And it was weird 

- Zach is a jackass. Too bad I’m happily married or I’d love to find him and put him in his place

- The wearing headphones thing (Michael and Brandon) in a social setting is annoying. 

10 minutes ago, GettingGray said:

If all the couple were matched correctly, the show would have all Bobbys and Daniels and the viewership would go way down, then the show would be canceled.

Yep, for starters I wouldn’t watch

[Hangin Out]

19 minutes ago, GettingGray said:

I've watched every season and the most annoying thing each year is showing the couples brushing their teeth.  I really hate it!

Another random point; I don't believe the experts try real hard to find perfect matches.  The purpose of most TV shows is to be entertaining enough to get advertising dollars.  If all the couple were matched correctly, the show would have all Bobbys and Daniels and the viewership would go way down, then the show would be canceled.

 

You’re right.  If every match was perfect in every way, there would be no Primetimer to snark on, lol.  It really would be boring.

[Kiss my mutt]

And poor Amber missed out on the joy of brushing her teeth for Matt. She seems like the kind of girl that would find going to the bathroom in front of her partner bonding. 

[princelina]

41 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

And poor Amber missed out on the joy of brushing her teeth for Matt. She seems like the kind of girl that would find going to the bathroom in front of her partner bonding. 

I thought she demanded that he share a bathroom with her and leave the spare bathroom to be spare?

[Meowwww]

See, about shower-gate:

I shower after flying.  I even put my shoes that I wore on the plane far away from my others lol.  My husband is the same way.  Suitcases do not go on the bed.  I used to work for an airline...those planes are awfully dirty. I’ve heard so many behind-the-scenes stories.  
The idea of, say, hubby for example...getting sweaty on a plane and not showering before bed, after being around all the dirt and germs in a plane...well thank goodness he feels like I do.  
What if she had been extra sweaty, or complaining about being oily.  Or didn’t shower that morning?  Yuck.  
He could have handled it differently, though, instead of being a jerk. 

[MajorNelson]

9 hours ago, qtpye said:

10 hours ago, Sterling said:

But Jephte cheated on Shawniece before the 8 weeks was even over.

Wouldn't surprise me one bit if the drama we see in the previews between Mindy & Zach is due to texting others, or worse.

The sad thing is they are still married with a very cute baby.

Jephte and whoever is on the Couples Couch review of the episode (the 2 hour show gets a 2 hour review).

[LennieBriscoe]

On 1/23/2020 at 4:06 PM, Ilovepie said:

I can only imagine how horrible the comments would be for people who are less than attractive after reading the comments on these folks who are at least decent to attractive looking.

I didn't watch last night- got stuck down a rabbit hole looking at Disney World hotel reviews on You Tube with my kids. It got too late with the stupid 2 hour run time. Now I'm debating skipping this episode since so many here said it was boring. Is there any reason I should watch it tonight? Or is it enough to know Meka and Michael are already imploding and Zach has proved himself to be the phony asshole we all assumed he was......

Snark: It's not just for Grangela* anymore.

(*90 DF)

[MajorNelson]

Michael and Meka have a disagreement (she calls him on out on some off-camera words) and he denies her version and then says neither of them wanted to start off the honeymoon this way and he thinks it's better if he gives her space, and then...leaves the room to her and bunks elsewhere.

Isn't his backstory that he is the first person in his family to get married?

He also was squeamish about unzipping his wife's dress.  😮

He clearly isn't prepared for this life adventure.

[Ilovepie]

Oh the questions I have......I did not realize there were so many people who shower after flying - if you are one of those people, how short does the flight have to be to forgo the shower, or is it a shower regardless of how long the flight is? Like, if I shower, then get on the plane in California and fly for less than two hours to, let’s say Phoenix, would I need a shower?!? Or how about if I leave Fresno where I live and fly to San Diego - a 45 minute flight?!? I swear, between this and all the people who agreed with Iris’s “no street clothes on the bed rule” last season, I feel like I must be some kind of gross pig because neither of these things have ever occurred to me before watching this show and reading this forum!
I was not too surprised by the tub next to the bed - it looked pretty similar to the setup I had at an all inclusive resort in Puerto Vallarta a couple years ago. It is weird. My husband and I used it for hanging wet swim suits to dry out....😋

[Meowwww]

4 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Oh the questions I have......I did not realize there were so many people who shower after flying - if you are one of those people, how short does the flight have to be to forgo the shower, or is it a shower regardless of how long the flight is? Like, if I shower, then get on the plane in California and fly for less than two hours to, let’s say Phoenix, would I need a shower?!? Or how about if I leave Fresno where I live and fly to San Diego - a 45 minute flight?!? I swear, between this and all the people who agreed with Iris’s “no street clothes on the bed rule” last season, I feel like I must be some kind of gross pig because neither of these things have ever occurred to me before watching this show and reading this forum!
I was not too surprised by the tub next to the bed - it looked pretty similar to the setup I had at an all inclusive resort in Puerto Vallarta a couple years ago. It is weird. My husband and I used it for hanging wet swim suits to dry out....😋

So for me, it’s all of them.   Not necessarily right away, but before bed.  How soon I shower depends on how gross I feel.  We usually go from airport to our hotel, drop off bags, and hit the town.  
Typically I will shower after getting back to the hotel that evening, before I sit on the bed to watch tv. 

[humbleopinion]

 Designated plane pants not unlike Sheldon Cooper's bus pants

They double duty as movie theater pants

Yes, the full nine yards get hosed down even when taking a puddle jumping flight

No, am not Howard Hughes crazy... do not pick things up with Kleenex (yet) ...just not willfully ignorant of the lack of cleanliness of plane seats and trays...the head rest smells like the thousand oily scalps before yours...Safe travels!

Edited January 25, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Lindz]

Go Brandon & Taylor! Yay for a good episode! They seem to be getting along much better! 😄

[Lindz]

RUHHHH ROHHHH!! 😨😨 Did gross beard Mike REALLY say that ish???? Then DENY it?? Ask the man WHAT he said!! #PRESSPLAY!! 😂😂 Speaking of NOT shutting down... Thier moods were bad around the other couples?? #FORSHAME! NO bad attitudes around the other couples! Did she SERIOUSLY wait THAT LONG, til they were alone on camera, to discuss it?? That's stupid. If he said that nonsense, what a way to make someone feel uncomfortable with having sex in .00001 seconds! SHOCKING!! It coming from Mr. #MeToo. There's a way to be direct & SMART! Guess he doesn't know it. 😒😂

 

Edited January 25, 2020 by Lindz

[Lindz]

So happy for Katie & Derek getting to know each other SO WELL.... on a physical level. Yup. That's a solid foundation! They're totally gunna make it! 😉

[Neurochick]

17 hours ago, Captain Asshat said:

That's what I thought as well, but he didn't have to be a jerk about it. How hard is it to say something like, "Please hold that thought for a second until I'm done and can hear you," or to simply hold off on washing his face until she was through with her thought?

I didn't see that as being a jerk, it's not like he said, "bitch, wait until I wash my face first, alright?"

This show will always have issues because even in 2020, there is still more societal pressure for women to marry than it is for men.  This means that more women might sign up for this show and men will have to be recruited.  And to me, that means the men will have different reasons for being on the show than the women. 

I loved how Mindy's friend grilled Zach.  She didn't pretend that this is some experiment.  She was like, "what's the real reason you're on this show?"  I would say to Zach, point blank, "you're a good looking guy who could have loads of girlfriends.  Why are you here?"  I too think Mindy is WAY too into Zach, too early.  Maybe it's good that now she knows he's not Prince Charming and she can see him as a real person. 

I also wonder about Jessica and Austin.  Is she there because she's feeling the pressure?  Her sister is married with a child, does she feel she has to do the same?  What if her sister gets divorced and Jessica's still married?  What then?

And I have no idea what Michael's problem is, but I don't think he's into Meka at all.  To me, it wasn't just what he said but that he left the room.  Years ago, in the 90's, I heard Marianne Williamson say that marriage is, "no matter what happens nobody leaves the room," meaning you don't just break up when stuff doesn't work out. 

[qtpye]

8 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I didn't see that as being a jerk, it's not like he said, "bitch, wait until I wash my face first, alright?"

This show will always have issues because even in 2020, there is still more societal pressure for women to marry than it is for men.  This means that more women might sign up for this show and men will have to be recruited.  And to me, that means the men will have different reasons for being on the show than the women. 

I loved how Mindy's friend grilled Zach.  She didn't pretend that this is some experiment.  She was like, "what's the real reason you're on this show?"  I would say to Zach, point blank, "you're a good looking guy who could have loads of girlfriends.  Why are you here?"  I too think Mindy is WAY too into Zach, too early.  Maybe it's good that now she knows he's not Prince Charming and she can see him as a real person. 

I also wonder about Jessica and Austin.  Is she there because she's feeling the pressure?  Her sister is married with a child, does she feel she has to do the same?  What if her sister gets divorced and Jessica's still married?  What then?

And I have no idea what Michael's problem is, but I don't think he's into Meka at all.  To me, it wasn't just what he said but that he left the room.  Years ago, in the 90's, I heard Marianne Williamson say that marriage is, "no matter what happens nobody leaves the room," meaning you don't just break up when stuff doesn't work out. 

I think what Mindy’s friend was trying to say, though the show would not let her is “Why in the Hell would a guy like you have any problems finding a girl to marry in the real world and have to resort to a shitty reality show to find a spouse?” In other words, she knows Zack is on the show for publicity/exposure and is very likely to break Mindy’s heart.

[Lindz]

I suspected Zach was giving Mindy a 'dream wedding day' and was pulling a 'fake it til you make it'. Disregarding that his actions are setting standards of behavior. If I was her friend, I woulda told her NOT to get caught up in the fairytale, to wait to see what truth time reveals. It was stupid to compare them to the other couples & acting insecure about it. There was a better way to discuss that cuz WHAT did she WANT & what did she GET?? 😂😂 I guess that was the warning sign & she should've just asked him, "WHY?" Maybe she was afraid to know the truth & decided she was friendzoned & reacted to that. That commentary seems like it was taken after he said, "I'm not developing any attraction toward you, what do you want me to do about that?" WTF is WRONG WITH PEOPLE??!! Way to semi-blindside!! That is SO LOW!! I HATE that FAKE S#%T!! Can people seriously NOT talk?? For real!! It doesn't make sense! WHAT did he EXPECT?? SERIOUSLY!! HOW would he respond to someone saying that to him?? I can't take all this off-camera shenanigans, then running & telling a camera!! 😥😅

[Hangin Out]

10 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

And poor Amber missed out on the joy of brushing her teeth for Matt. She seems like the kind of girl that would find going to the bathroom in front of her partner bonding. 

OMG, call me crazy but that’s one thing I’ve never done and I’m married a long time.  To me, bathroom time is private, lol.  I remember when Shannon Bedor made her husband David go up her rear end to get something out.  I was floored.  Maybe I’m wrong .. I don’t know.

[Hangin Out]

7 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Snark: It's not just for Grangela* anymore.

(*90 DF)

You missed nothing.  Watch Disney.  I love Disney.  My daughter just bought a timeshare at Wilderness Lodge.  Hope she invites us. Lol.

[Neurochick]

5 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Oh the questions I have......I did not realize there were so many people who shower after flying - if you are one of those people, how short does the flight have to be to forgo the shower, or is it a shower regardless of how long the flight is? Like, if I shower, then get on the plane in California and fly for less than two hours to, let’s say Phoenix, would I need a shower?!? Or how about if I leave Fresno where I live and fly to San Diego - a 45 minute flight?!? I swear, between this and all the people who agreed with Iris’s “no street clothes on the bed rule” last season, I feel like I must be some kind of gross pig because neither of these things have ever occurred to me before watching this show and reading this forum!

I'm with you 100%.

Years ago I saw the Michael Moore movie "Bowling for Columbine."  There's one part of the movie where he brings up fear, that in the US the news media is hell bent on scaring the shit out of us, screaming DANGER at every corner.  That awareness could make a person feel more sensitive to things. 

Another reason I think, is that unless you live in a major city, you probably don't come in contact with a whole lot of people on a daily basis, so the thought of being on an airplane or on mass transit could fill people with anxiety, just because they're not used to it. 

I live in NYC, years ago when I took the subway to and from work, in the summer I might take a shower when I got home, especially if it was humid.  I don't know what the weather was like in Panama that day, I remember when I was there about 14 years ago, in January it was pretty hot and humid.

I think Zach might be one of those people who gets a pass because of his looks.  He can be rude, he can say things in not a nice way, and he'll get excused because of his looks. 

 

 

[Neurochick]

22 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

OMG, call me crazy but that’s one thing I’ve never done and I’m married a long time.  To me, bathroom time is private, lol.  I remember when Shannon Bedor made her husband David go up her rear end to get something out.  I was floored.  Maybe I’m wrong .. I don’t know.

I don't think you're wrong.  To me it all has to do with boundaries.  People just have different boundaries.

If you watch House Hunters on HGTV, there are couples that might want their own bathrooms, at least their own sinks. 

[configdotsys]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

OMG, call me crazy but that’s one thing I’ve never done and I’m married a long time.  To me, bathroom time is private, lol.  I remember when Shannon Bedor made her husband David go up her rear end to get something out.  I was floored.  Maybe I’m wrong .. I don’t know.

Come sit with me. I agree with you. Bathroom time is 100% private. If you have to go and I'm in the shower, you wait. If I have to go, I wait. I just cannot see myself ever brushing teeth next to someone or worse, watching my spouse on the toilet. The thought makes me wince. I'm sure there are plenty who are fine with that and that's cool. Just not me. I'm thankful my spouse was the same way. 

[KateHearts]

12 hours ago, ShowFan said:

- Not showering after travel is absolutely gross. Sorry, Mindy, I like you but that was terrible 

 

7 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

....I did not realize there were so many people who shower after flying - if you are one of those people, how short does the flight have to be to forgo the shower, or is it a shower regardless of how long the flight is? Like, if I shower, then get on the plane in California and fly for less than two hours to, let’s say Phoenix, would I need a shower?!? Or how about if I leave Fresno where I live and fly to San Diego - a 45 minute flight?!? I swear, between this and all the people who agreed with Iris’s “no street clothes on the bed rule” last season, I feel like I must be some kind of gross pig because neither of these things have ever occurred to me before watching this show and reading this forum!

I am the first to admit that planes are dirty. I would never eat food directly off of the tray, walk around without shoes/wear open shoes or not wash my hands after deplaning.  HOWEVER, to patently call Mindy "gross" is unfair without a lot more information. Did she shower that morning? How long was the flight? I don't rush to jump in the shower after a 4 hour flight.

Zach's comment about "oil" was uncalled for- but she also asked for it by prefacing her leap into bed with something like "I'm going to go to bed without showering because I can't be bothered..." and implying that she was dirty.  On top of the fact that she is in the first few DAYS of being with a guy she wants to impress... yeah, probably not the best way to handle it.  At a minimum, wash up, make yourself smell nice and change into sleep clothes.

[Lindz]

On 1/23/2020 at 7:53 AM, Ohwell said:

Even though he's not attracted to her, he still should be nice and act like a gentleman until decision day.  That goes for anyone on this show.

Absolutely NOT!! MISLEADING  a spouse & faking until the end is NOT "nice"!!!! 😧 If they're not going to actually try at the marriage, they can get the hell on IMMEDIATELY!! We DON'T want to see that FAKE s#%t!!

Y'all KNOW I'm NOT saying to be rude. Sure. Be respectful. HONESTY is respectful. What I'm addressing is EFFORT. I interpreted the comment as saying, "play nice until decision day," instead of just ending it if they're not going to try. That is all.

Edited January 25, 2020 by Lindz

[Lindz]

On 1/23/2020 at 9:33 AM, gonecrackers said:

I've also considered it possible Michael was 'kidding'

NOPE! Freudian slip!! They usually try to play it off if it doesn't go over well, but it's the TRUTH! 😂 They could say it better, but choose to be stupid instead. Oh well.

[KateHearts]

1 minute ago, Lindz said:

Absolutely NOT!! MISLEADING  a spouse & faking until the end is NOT "nice"!!!! 😧 If they're not going to actually try at the marriage, they can get the hell on IMEDDIATELY!! We DON'T want to see that FAKE s#%t!!

FAKE is different than common manners. I get being polite and putting your best foot forward at the wedding. I get that some people don't feel an attraction or may have their doubts.  But to be rude? Especially to a relative stranger? No way.  These people went into this eyes wide open; they knew they would be scrutinized and on display; they had no idea what they would see at the altar. They need to give it time and get to know the person. There is no excuse, ever, to treat a new acquaintance with rudeness and alienate them, especially in this situation.  If for no other reason that it makes them look very, very bad.

[Neurochick]

14 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Absolutely NOT!! MISLEADING  a spouse & faking until the end is NOT "nice"!!!! 😧 If they're not going to actually try at the marriage, they can get the hell on IMMEDIATELY!! We DON'T want to see that FAKE s#%t!!

I don't think it's about being fake.  A lot of people confuse "keeping it real" with being rude.  A lot of people think that common courtesy is being fake. 

To me, common courtesy is being open, not shutting the door because you're not turned on in the first fifteen minutes. 

[gonecrackers]

50 minutes ago, Lindz said:

NOPE! Freudian slip!! They usually try to play it off if it doesn't go over well, but it's the TRUTH! 😂 They could say it better, but choose to be stupid instead. Oh well.

Commented on one sentence of my post- If you look at all of my post & my other posts about Michael you will see I do not believe he was kidding. Right now I'm seeing him as a toxic, gaslighting, liar, until he somehow proves otherwise.

[Lisa418722]

As far as the bathtub in the rooms.  A few years ago I was on a trip to Costa Rica and in one of the hotels there was a bathtub in between the bedroom and the bathroom. But there were doors above the tub so if a person wanted to take a bath in private without anyone in the bedroom seeing it, you could. 

Now to get on topic, not sure about Michael and Meka.  In a situation like this you shouldn't feel like you have to have sex during your honeymoon because you are getting to know each other.  Hopefully by the end of the honeymoon you feel comfortable enough with each other that you want to have sex, but it shouldn't be expected.  It seems to me Michael (if he said that since we didn't hear it for ourselves), just wanted to get married to be able to have sex. Which seems like a 1950's (or Duggars) reason to get married. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

14 hours ago, ShowFan said:

- The rooms layout is super weird. I’ve traveled all over the world to many hotels and resorts and the only time I had a bath tub in the bedroom was in a mountain cabin. And it was weird

About 20 years ago, Mr. Outlier and I found ourselves needing a motel room in Denton, Texas, right by the Texas Motor Speedway on race weekend.  Slim pickings.

We passed by several that were too scary to even consider, and even went into one (but the nonsmoking room turned out to be a smoking room where the desk clerk took us with him to watch him spray air freshener all around), and we were getting desperate.  Then we saw the Fantasy Suites.  Do we dare?

I send Mr. O in and he strides back to the car brandishing a key and announcing, "I have secured fantasy suite number fifteen." 

I've blocked all of it from my mind, except--the big bathtub in the middle of the room.

 

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I also wonder about Jessica and Austin.  Is she there because she's feeling the pressure?  Her sister is married with a child, does she feel she has to do the same? 

Yes.  She actually said that.  Maybe at brunch with his family?  Anyway, she said her twin sister is hitting "milestones" and she feels left behind.  

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

What if her sister gets divorced and Jessica's still married?  What then?

She didn't cover that.

 

15 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

On this topic, I wonder what exactly MAFS screens for financially or how deep they dig. We've heard some things about debt and spending, like Danielle (Dallas, but actually Fort Worth -- I'm too Texan to not specify) and her credit cards, but offhand I don't remember whether any couples have had big issues with one spouse's debt after the wedding.

I've always been curious about Bobby and Danielle and her debt.  He seemed super careful about his spending, and if I were in his shoes I would have been terrified not only by her debt, but by whatever part of her personality got her to take it on, because you know that's deep-seated.

And having children is an expensive proposition, but she got pregnant quick.  I'd love to know how they resolved any conflict about her debt.

I think Amber actually from Dallas had some spending issues, too.  Although I got the impression hers were just that she was single and spending money like a single person who likes buying stuff does, which can be incompatible with a married person building a future and I think wasn't in line with how Dave approached money.

Anyway, I'm always fascinated by how any couple navigates financial waters (even more than how they navigate bathroom logistics), and they barely even mention it on the show even though it can be a massive source of conflict.   

 

 

 

[Lindz]

On 1/23/2020 at 11:52 AM, Ohwell said:

Like I said though, she just carried it on for too long, especially when she knew she wasn't going to get Michael to fall down on both knees and admit he was lying.  She just fed into the "angry black woman" trope.   

And so what if he actually said that?  It shouldn't be an issue for her because she'd know that he wasn't the right person for her and she could bail on decision day.  I'd much prefer a guy to show his ass sooner rather than later. 

Nah. She wasn't acting like a mad black woman, more like a moody girl that was holding it in til the "right time" to see if he would correct it. That's a problem most of us have. We don't know what we want the other person to say. We don't know what will make us feel better. We just hope what they try works. She's processing a lot: Did he really mean that? If so, he just LIED to EVERYONE. Now what the hell does she do? She's not a quitter, but she can't work with a liar. How does she get out? What does she tell everyone? It's an effed up situation.

[MajorNelson]

Meka attacking Michael's credibility..on camera..I think gives us a clue about how insecure she is.  Why bother if you are secure and aware the 1) the other may have worded something poorly or 2)able to disagree with his statement or position that he'd like to find out if they are sexually compatible by the end of the honeymoon.

 

[Lindz]

On 1/23/2020 at 1:25 PM, Neurochick said:

I hate to say it but that type of show probably wouldn't stay on the air for very long.  People want to see good looking people on TV, if they didn't there would be less good looking people on TV.  If I want to see regular schlubs, I'll look out the window.

These are "good-looking" people?? HIGHLY disagree! They're mostly average, some have been below, almost in "look-away" territory. Even this season: Katie & her chin tuck, gummy look & Mindy & her HUGE teeth! Zach is the only "above average" looking one. 😂

[Ilovepie]

5 hours ago, Meowwww said:

So for me, it’s all of them.   Not necessarily right away, but before bed.  How soon I shower depends on how gross I feel.  We usually go from airport to our hotel, drop off bags, and hit the town.  
Typically I will shower after getting back to the hotel that evening, before I sit on the bed to watch tv. 

Interesting! Admittedly,  I am just not a germaphobe. I am aware things have germs, and I do shower every day, but I like to shower in the morning and it just feels wasteful to shower at night for no reason other than “germs” when I am going to get up in the morning and shower anyway. I do wash my face and moisturize nightly without fail though. It’s amazing to me that so many people are so fearful of germs. Maybe all my exposure and lack of concern has helped my immunity though because I am never sick. 😋

Obviously, Zach falls on the side of post flight showering, and seeing him fastidiously washing his face, it’s no wonder he was grossed out by Mindy’s hygiene.

[Empress1]

30 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

She actually said that.  Maybe at brunch with his family?  Anyway, she said her twin sister is hitting "milestones" and she feels left behind. 

She's said it a few times. She said it in her intro episode too. She reminds me of Philly Stephanie in that Stephanie said straight up, all through her season, that she wanted to be married because all her friends and her sisters were married and she "didn't want to be alone anymore."

31 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I've always been curious about Bobby and Danielle and her debt.  He seemed super careful about his spending, and if I were in his shoes I would have been terrified not only by her debt, but by whatever part of her personality got her to take it on, because you know that's deep-seated.

What bothered me was not that Danielle had credit card debt but that she was completely nonchalant about it. Bobby was like "Yikes, this is a lot [I think it was like $20K or something, which is really a lot]," and Danielle was like "I guess I should maybe try to pay it," but then also said that she loves to travel and didn't plan to stop (though I would guess travel slowed down with the baby). Like she takes a vacation every year no matter what and if she doesn't have the cash on hand, she puts it on her card and so be it. She lived beyond her means.That's an attitude toward debt I wouldn't be comfortable with.

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

Zach's comment about "oil" was uncalled for- but she also asked for it by prefacing her leap into bed with something like "I'm going to go to bed without showering because I can't be bothered..." and implying that she was dirty. 

I think she even said something like "I know it's gross but I'm so tired, I'm just going to go to sleep." I wonder if less of a big deal would have been made if she'd just said she was going to sleep. She drew attention to the grossness of it herself - like, SHE thought it was gross but she did it anyway.

[Lindz]

On 1/24/2020 at 8:42 AM, gonecrackers said:

the track record for men 'not attracted' to their wives is none were so disgusted they didn't have sex at least a few times.

Because they're SELFISH, DISGUSTING HOES that take (advantage of) any opportunity they get, regardless!! 😂😂

[Lindz]

On 1/24/2020 at 9:48 AM, Mrs. Button said:

I can't help but laugh at how quickly all the lofty platitudes & promises of the wedding vows disappear the moment life isn't perfect. For seasons now, I've expected someone to say, "But you said in your vows you would always listen to my point of view and talk it out, why are you splitting?"

HAHAHA!! Vows go out the window right after they're said & the spouses fall right back into their stupid dating mind: looking for reasons to leave. They probably never call out vow breaking because they're guilty too! 😂😂

[Lindz]

22 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

you would think the psychological screening would weed out these matches

BAHAHA!! NOOOOOOOO! That makes them "quality" candidates! Trainwrecks make for adequate entertainment, apparently. 😂

[Lindz]

Meka's approach was wrong, but you really can't get anywhere when they deny ever saying it. 😞 If he would've admitted it, they could've proceeded from there to find WHAT in his STUPID mind thought that was okay to say & HOW he thought that would AFFECT her (guaranteed, if he said it, this wasn't a thought AT ALL) & how it conflicts with everything he told everyone else. But. Nope. He saw it going all bad & ran. 😂

Edited January 25, 2020 by Lindz

[Lindz]

Do you mind if I pour you coffee while shirtless & wearing a towel?? Please compliment my hot bod, my ego needs a boost having you for a bride. 😂 What woulda been dope is if she DIDN'T play into the superficial & said, "I can't wait to see what's in there & placed her hand over his heart." Mind you, this was BEFORE he showed his true colors in 3 days flat! 😅

Edited January 25, 2020 by Lindz

[seasick]

4 hours ago, Lindz said:

Absolutely NOT!! MISLEADING  a spouse & faking until the end is NOT "nice"!!!! 😧 If they're not going to actually try at the marriage, they can get the hell on IMMEDIATELY!! We DON'T want to see that FAKE s#%t!!

I have to agree that the way you treat people has little to do with others. Some exceptions do apply.

This business of being shitty to someone because you're not attracted to them and you want to put them off is just passive aggressive. Especially when you signed up to take a chance. No one put a gun to your head.

However I am trying to think how I would handle a situation where there was no attraction.

I'm much more of a personality person as far as what attracts me. So I would give it a few days. But it is awkward when the other person is attracted or at least wants to have sex and you can tell that you don't.

I think off camera I would tell them that we are in the friend zone. I would ask them if they wanted to continue for the sake of the experiment and perhaps the perks of the show or not,  but also emphasize that time would not change anything.

Would I allow doctor cal or the sexpert get involved? Oh hell no. The way they handled Matt and Amber was a disgrace. They saw that he was a complete POS and that she was shamelessly desperate yet they encouraged them (Amber nost cruelly) to continue this humiliation for Show ratings.    But I digress...

 if my partner was totally cool with it then we could play along but that is rarely the case. If my spouse continued to pressure me I would bow out rather than decide to act like an ass to run them off.

If the opposite were true and I could see there was no attraction to me... I honestly don't think I would ask.( like I assume Mindy did). If there was no attempt at romance, that would tell the story and I wouldn't assume he's just shy around women or some such excuse in my head. I would bow out. Hard to accept but harder to stick around for it.

And if my spouse tried to pull the same stunt like wax melt girl or like Zach is doing, being rude, disdainful, and antagonistic I would bow out but hopefully not before my East Coast sarcasm and snark shut him up and illuminated his assholism for the world to see.

(But Neil did get the last word which was soooooo delicious!!)

Edited January 25, 2020 by seasick
Typo

[Lindz]

 

17 hours ago, GettingGray said:

Another random point; I don't believe the experts try real hard to find perfect matches.  The purpose of most TV shows is to be entertaining enough to get advertising dollars.  If all the couple were matched correctly, the show would have all Bobbys and Daniels and the viewership would go way down, then the show would be canceled.

BAHAHA! Nah! They weren't perfect. Their issues were weird & nothing they deemed argument worthy, so no fireworks. It's difficult to watch both spouses struggle to address/communicate their issues & just quit trying & making it okay. We don't expect PERFECT couples, we know perfect DOES NOT EXIST. We want to see healthy conflict resolution, NOT stupid bs that we know means the marriage will fail!! 😂😂 "EXPERTS": Please help these fools communicate EFFECTIVELY with each other!! That's all!

Edited January 25, 2020 by Lindz

[Ilovepie]

5 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

OMG, call me crazy but that’s one thing I’ve never done and I’m married a long time.  To me, bathroom time is private, lol.

You would hate my house then. There is no door to the on suite bathroom in the master bedroom. It’s a doorway to double sinks, the tub and a clear shower. Only the toilet has a door. I guess double sinks are a waste to people who need privacy for ALL of their bathroom stuff?

That being said, I do wonder at this show’s love of people brushing their teeth. I don’t care if my husband is brushing his teeth beside me, but if I was on this show, I would be telling the camera crew to get the hell out of my bathroom!

[Lindz]

If gross beard Mike said that, on one hand, I applaud the warning/honesty. On the other, that's stupidly premature & immature to say & "checking out" of the marriage VIOLATES the spirit of the experiment & he can catch the next flight home! 😂