S10.E02: Here Comes The Stranger

[Haute Messe]

6 hours ago, kerrieway said:

I'm a BIG Austin fan so far. He's giving me Bobby vibes and I think he's in it for the right reasons but like Bobby he needs some style help. 

Austin needs to cut his hair like it was before or go to the hair salon and get a stylish short cut. Austin should hit the gym and lift a little, he doesn't have to overdo it but he looked better before with more muscle conditioning. 

You can see the differences below between how he looks now and how he looked about a year or more ago. 

In the top picture, I think he could pass for a member of the Trump family.

[Jax7917]

I thought Bobby was the biggest catch this shows ever had . He treated the wife .. Danielle ? Like a queen , was very genuine and he was adorable . Can’t figure out why he needed this show but it worked out for him 

[ramble]

12 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

To quote from While You Were Sleeping...

"Leaning involves wanting and accepting..."

One of my all time favorite movies! “These potatoes are so creamy.” 

There’s something in my jaded heart that wants to have hope for these couples yet experience has taught me not to, but still...

I like Derek for some reason I can’t put my finger on why. I’m willing to give Katie a chance if we’re past the the ex crap. They seemed like they had some chemistry. 

Jessica and Austin seemed weirdly like a fit in their dorky quirky silliness. Will that transfer into romantic feelings? Idk. Like many of y’all I wonder about mama and grandma and their seeming belief that’s he golden. 

Brandon completely lost me with, well, himself. I’ve been trying to place his voice and I think it reminds me a little of the actor Manny Montana who I just binge watched on Good Girls. Brandon seems to have anti-charm to me. He speaks and I’m turned off. I think Taylor is pretty but the bigger factor to me is that she seems to be much more ambitious than he is. That can either be no big deal or a deal breaker. I think Grandma Brandon is gorgeous but I do think she’s had some work done. Not that I begrudge her that, maybe I’d consider it if I had the moola.  

The majority of the bridesmaids dresses either fit like trash or were butt ugly. Whoever comped those did a poor job representing their brand. 

[Blissfool]

 

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

 

The pastor looked unimpressed with Brandon's speech as well.

 

The pastor said, "With the power INVESTED in me..." so he has no room to judge.

(But, yes, Brandon vows were terrible.)

[bichonblitz]

I love Derek! He seems perfect in looks, personality, career, everything. Why is he on this show? Tall, dark and handsome and only 26. I don't get it.  While they were dancing he held Katie close and told her she was beautiful. Swoon...... Either he is a really good player or he is a sweetheart. Time will tell. 

I still am not totally sold on Katie. I hope she doesn't turn Derek off by talking about her ex wanting her back. I'm really rooting for these two and that's saying alot because just last week I wanted her gone. 

Taylor was trying to bring out some conversation with Brandon, being interested in him and asking questions to try to get to know him. I thought she was so sweet. He was a stone cold dud. I do think she is beautiful and he is intimidated. He's used to being the pretty one. Just a vibe I get from him. 

Austin and what's her name. When she asked him at the photo shoot "So do you like wearing your hair long like that" he was not happy. Then he came back at her with Do you like your hair long like that? He got over it, though. I think he's not gonna take her crap and she likes to give crap. Another vibe I'm getting. 

[Ohwell]

I know it's an opportunity for them to make a little cash, but I'm not at all interested in watching that Couple's Couch show. 

[TzuShih]

On 1/8/2020 at 9:02 PM, Booger666 said:

I hope Brandon’s awkwardness is because he is nervous because he isn’t coming across well.

Interesting how when we were first introduced to Brandon, he came across as genuinely comfortable with himself, humorous and possessing a healthy sense-of-self.  I truly hope that that IS the Brandon that Taylor married.  I credit him for being very honest about his nerves, panic attacks, embarrassment about taking the dance floor, etc.  It's promising that he's willing to open up to Taylor on these and other personal issues.  Taylor is SO bright and fun, and I hope that they can both continue to be open and honest and appreciate the real humor that I sense they both possess!  (And, yes, of course I hope that his beautiful and droll Grandma will give them a gentle & positive push towards a genuine, caring and joy-filled relationship.)

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m kind of feeling Amber vibes with Diabetic Katie as well though she is certainly less effusive and he seems smitten with her but then I remember she was hung up on a two week tinder booty call so it seems she attaches herself quite quickly and feels like a sexual relationship has been her basis for feeling “loved”. She reads very immature to me. They had some truly tender moments though that melted my heart and Derek was a Prince Charming to her. I’m curious as to his upbringing overseas and why his mom lives in Uruguay. I must have missed that during the introductions. 
 

Brandon is not going to like not being top dog in the relationship. I think Taylor has way more earning potential and ambition, looks and poise than he does. He went from Mr. Personality to charmless as soon as he got to the altar. Meka looked like she was miserable and I think if asked at that moment she’d probably back out  I was telling her on the tv, honey, you don’t have to do this! But maybe it was just nerves along with the dress not fitting right on top.  Maybe a different bra would help fill it out better.  She deserves to feel pretty on her wedding day  

I would love to see how a Taylor Michael pairing would go. Too bad she couldn’t get a do over if Meka backs out. Hopefully this painful version of Brandon is just nerves and he is back on track next week. 
 

Austin and Jessica look like brother and sister and I don’t know if the initial spark will last and they will go I to friend zone mode. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ShowFan]

Katie and Derek are adorable! She is cute as a button. I love her dress and I love the bare middle. It suits her. I hope she keeps it up and doesn’t get all bratty. 

I like Jessica and Austin too - I like the energy and the sense of humor.  Very cute together! I happen to really love her shoulders! I’m an aerialist and have appreciation for this kind of thing! I do feel they may friend zone each other. I would 100% friend zone a guy like him  

Poor Taylor! She is so beautiful and smart and ambitious and she got matched with a shmuck, if that’s even a word. Quite painful to watch. Brandon seemed disappointed, annoyed, anxious....one of of the worst I’ve seen on MAFS and I’ve watched all seasons except the first. Just Puke from last season tops him up, of course. 
 

The Mika couple I find boring to watch

 

 

34 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Austin and Jessica look like brother and sister and I don’t know if the initial spark will last and they will go I to friend zone mode. 

Agreed. They’d make great friends though!

Edited January 10, 2020 by ShowFan

[ShowFan]

41 minutes ago, TzuShih said:

Interesting how when we were first introduced to Brandon, he came across as genuinely comfortable with himself, humorous and possessing a healthy sense-of-self.

Yes! He was one of the guys I liked the most originally and now I can’t stand watching him. I feel like a group of producers manipulating us are reading these comments and laughing 

Austin doesn’t know how to hold a champagne glass. That made me cringe. Come on, dude!

[OnTime]

7 hours ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

My overall take away from this episode was that five couples is probably too many. I had totally forgotten about the other two by the end and neither of them really seem that interesting to me so far.

I'd be fine with the first three couples. Even four couples was too much.

I really have no interest in the other two but I do like Michael, the yoga guy.

 

[dirtypop90]

6 hours ago, Cammi said:

It's odd you say this, my best friend's hubby said the same thing when he watched that segment with us. We were ooh-ing over the gorgeous Taylor and wondered why her groom seemed unimpressed. He goes "Probably wanted a white girl". He said he bets if we looked at his dating history it would reveal his suspicions. 

I wouldn’t have gone there if this wasn’t an issue on this show. Remember trey didn’t care for Vanessa. He preferred white woman. Remember jephte saying he was hoping for someone racially ambiguous and was mean to shawneice. Will and jasmine, will said his preference was more meagan Goode, another heavily mixed black woman. I know we follow the one drop rule in America, but being attracted to Halle berry isn’t the same as being attractive to Black women generally.

I think some of these black men come on and aren’t honest. They might tolerate black women and only be attracted to those that look like Alicia keys. Tristan was and his wife turned out to be a scammer but I’m glad they didn’t pair him with a woman that looks like Meka.

[kerrieway]

11 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

I wouldn’t have gone there if this wasn’t an issue on this show. Remember trey didn’t care for Vanessa. He preferred white woman. Remember jephte saying he was hoping for someone racially ambiguous and was mean to shawneice. Will and jasmine, will said his preference was more meagan Goode, another heavily mixed black woman. I know we follow the one drop rule in America, but being attracted to Halle berry isn’t the same as being attractive to Black women generally.

I think some of these black men come on and aren’t honest. They might tolerate black women and only be attracted to those that look like Alicia keys. Tristan was and his wife turned out to be a scammer but I’m glad they didn’t pair him with a woman that looks like Meka.

I agree with you but want to make a distinction: Colorism, featurism, and a preference for non-black/racially ambiguous/mixed women are three different things that can overlap with self-hating black men. 

Meagan Goode is black (2 black parents) and doesn't look mixed but she is lighter browned skinned, I wouldn't say exactly light skinned but close. However she is pretty, with a nose that isn't overtly afro-centric. Everything else,: cheekbones and full lips are pretty afo-centric IMO. 

However, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, and Alicia Keys are MIXED, not black--they all have white mothers. A light skinned black woman would be someone with two black parents. However, looks can vary because most black Americans are 70% - 85% African descent so some black people can and will look like mixed people. Loni Love and Tamar Braxton on the Real are both black but Loni is 83% black and is dark skinned and Tamar is 84% black and is medium brown skinned. You can see this on their DNA video on youtube. 

Light-skinned black people who look mixed would be actress Bianca Lawson and Steph Curry and his wife. These people may be 70% black or more but their non-black genes are dominant in their appearance.

I don't follow the one-drop rule but a lot of uninformed people do. Thankfully, more and more black women are waking up to this nonsense and mixed women like Meghan Markle (who has a black mom/white father) will honestly relay that they are mixed because they are self-aware enough not to pretend to be black because it's not an accurate or fair comparison to black women.

Trey was mixed so I can make an allowance for him wanting a mixed or non-black woman. Jephte's cheating self is trash. Tristan is trash and is newly engaged again to a lighter/prettier version of Meagan Goode. I knew Will didn't like dark girls with Jasmine's features (wide nose, kinkier hair etc) ---basically the female version of himself. 

It's like layers of a self-hating preference onion. When a guy wants a lighter brown-skinned woman he may just want a girl with less dominant black features but still black, i.e. Megan Goode or Ciara.

Then we go down to more features. Maybe Rihanna who'd look very black if she had very dark skin but has a feature, i.e. light eyes and a darker caramel color that would maybe make you question whether she was "completely black". 

Then a step down, perhaps Bianca Lawson because she has light skin and probably 3c hair, more neutral features but would also look black with darker skin.

The inner layer of the onion would be mixed people. Meghan Markle. 

Then finally non-black women who tan, Kim Ks and Jennifer Lopez. 

Check out Chrissie's youtube vids if you want more examples. 

Edited January 10, 2020 by kerrieway

[Lusterleaf]

Taylor and Brandon were super awkward, I think Jess and Austin were awkward too (Jess constantly laughing kinda got on my nerves). Katie forgot about her ex as soon as she saw what Derek looked like.

[qtpye]

18 minutes ago, kerrieway said:

I agree with you but want to make a distinction: Colorism, featurism, and a preference for non-black/racially ambiguous/mixed women are three different things that can overlap with self-hating black men. 

Meagan Goode is black (2 black parents) and doesn't look mixed but she is lighter browned skinned, I wouldn't say exactly light skinned but close. However she is pretty, with a nose that isn't overtly afro-centric. Everything else,: cheekbones and full lips are pretty afo-centric IMO. 

However, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, and Alicia Keys are MIXED, not black--they all have a white mothers. A light skinned black woman would be someone with two black parents. However, looks can vary because most black Americans are 70% - 85% African descent so some black people can and will look like mixed people. Loni Love and Tamar Braxton on the Real are both black but Loni is 83% black and is dark skinned and Tamar is 84% black and is lighter brown skinned. You can see this on their DNA video on youtube. 

Light-skinned black people who look mixed would be actress Bianca Lawson and Steph Curry and his wife. These peple may be 70% black or more but their non-black genes are just dominant.

I don't follow the one-drop rule but a lot of uninformed people do. Thankfully, more and more black women are waking up to this nonsense and mixed women like Meghan Markle (who has a black mom) are self-aware enough not to pretend to be black because it's not a accurate or fair comparison to black women and will honestly relay that they are mixed. 

Trey was mixed so I can make an allowance for him wanting a mixed or non-black woman. Jephte's cheating self is trash. Tristan is trash and is newly engaged again to a lighter/prettier version of Meagan Goode. I knew Will didn't like dark girls with Jasmine's features (wide nose, kinkier hair etc) ---basically the female version of himself. 

Check out Chrissie's youtube vids if you want more examples. 

I just do not understand why Pastor Cal ( who like me, should be well aware of these issues) would set these women up to fail. Heck, the one mixed woman that he set up with Tristan turned out to be total trash.

It is not hard to figure out what a man likes physically....most men are more than happy to tell you.

 

[kerrieway]

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

I just do not understand why Pastor Cal ( who like me, should be well aware of these issues) would set these women up to fail. Heck, the one mixed woman that he set up with Tristan turned out to be total trash.

It is not hard to figure out what a man likes physically....most men are more than happy to tell you.

 

Pastor Cal himself is not a self-hater and though I think is aware of the issue doesn't see it as a deal-breaker. I don't think he wanted Tristan on the show but was overruled, but I do also think Pastor Cal hopes (foolishly) that the men who aren't as blunt and honest as Tristan was about his prejudice preference will be open enough once they see that the girl is attractive.  But these men aren't looking at attractiveness, they are looking for features and complexions that black women don't have. 

I think sadly it boils down to the fact that finding Black men who date their own, meet the eligible bachelor criteria, and would be willing to be on TV would really be way more work for whoever is doing the casting for this show. They would need to be casting a year or more in advance just for the black male candidates alone.

We are the minority (what 13% of US pop?) in a given city the number of childless, non-married black men who look decent enough to be cast on TV are already making out well with black women. Also black men get married at a lower rate than any other race in the US, so we are also talking about marriage averse men.

Then let's tie in the ages: Katie is 25, Derek is 26, Meka is 25, Michael is 31, Mindy is 34 and Zach is 32, Brandon is 33 (and still picky and smug) and Taylor is 27, both Jessica and Austin are 31. A 6 YEAR age gap? They would have had a hard time finding the black version of Derek (tall and good-looking) willing to take himself off the market and get married at his age. Heck, none of the black girls got anyone with less than a 6 year age gap. The only decent black men on this show have been Greg, Keith from season 8, and maybe (still not sure about him) Keith from season 9.

Edited January 10, 2020 by kerrieway
edited because the age gap is 6 YEARS and to add Zach and Mindy's ages, 5 people is too many and I forgot about them

[qtpye]

9 minutes ago, kerrieway said:

Pastor Cal himself is not a self-hater and though I think is aware of the issue doesn't see it a deal-breaker. I don't think he wanted Tristan on the show but was overruled, but I do also think Pastor Cal hopes (foolishly) that the men who aren't as blunt and honest as Tristan was about his prejudice preference will be open enough once they see that the girl is attractive.  But these men aren't looking at attractiveness, they are looking for features and complexion that black women don't have. 

I think, sadly it boils down to the fact that finding Black men who date their own, meet the eligible bachelor criteria, and would be willing to be on TV would really be way more work for whoever is doing the casting for this show. They would need to be casting a year or more in advance just for the black male candidates alone. We are the minority (what 13% of US pop?) in a given city the number of childless, non-married men Black who look decent enough to be cast on TV are already making out well with Black women. Also Black men get married at a lower rate than any other race in the US, so we are also talking about marriage averse men. Then let's tie in the ages: Katie is 25, Derek is 26, Meka is 25, Michael is 31, Brandon is 33 (and still picky and smug) and Taylor is 27, both Jessica and Austin are 31. They would have had a hard time finding the black version of Derek (tall and good-looking) willing to take himself off the market and get married at his age. Heck, none of the black girls got anyone with less than a 4 year age gap (though 4 years isn't a huge age difference to be honest).  The only decent black men on this show have been Greg, Keith from season 8, and maybe (still not sure about him) Keith from season 9).

In all honesty, as a woman of color, I wish they would just skip matching African American people, if the matches have to be half-assed.

It is hard to see the other grooms treat their new brides so nicely and than have Brandon be almost a total ass to his (the man was fixing to walk off before the pastor let them go).

I know some people have said that Brandon is awkward, but that does not gel with what we have been presented. He was plenty charismatic and if he really is a beer salesman...that is a job that requires some social savvy.

We all picked up on that he was not happy when he saw his lovely bride.

I hope I am wrong about him and it was just his nerves. I remember he said he dated all races, including black.

I hope his idea of "black" is not just someone like Vanessa Williams (who I think has two black parents).

[Starlight925]

I thought that Brandon looked super uncomfortable when he first saw Taylor for the opposite reason of him not being attracted.  I felt like he thought she was super beautiful and hot, and that his anxiety caused him to fear that someone that hot wouldn't be attracted to him.

And when he found out she's also super intelligent, appears to be a happy type of gal, with a lot of close friends & family, and his anxiety was like....whoa....this great girl might not want me.

I also think that, once her hair is down and she's back to looking like her "normal", it will even highlight her beauty.  I'm not sure if she wears a wig or not (doesn't seem like it, since her hair seemed to be put up behind her veil), but dang, that girl is hot.  She's one of those girls that a girl like me sees and feels like I'd never be close to being that hot.  Like, when she's at home hanging in her yoga pants and old t-shirt, she's even more beautiful than on her wedding day.  Add in her drive, intelligence, and education, and wow....total package.

I, too, was a bit worried about Taylor's level of attraction for Brandon, not just physically, but she might want someone with her level of education and drive.

 I think Brandon is adorable, and yes, a beer rep who spends his time in front of restaurant/bar owners, has to have a level of charisma and personality, which may have just been hidden by his fear that Taylor might not think he's hot enough, etc.

I think this is Brandon's issue alone, in that he says he suffers from panic/anxiety, and that can come across as insecurity, which can be an unattractive quality.

I personally think they seem well matched, and I loved that their families were so involved.  I adored his hot grandma dancing with him, and I loved her cousin walking her down the aisle.  I think, and hope, that this family involvement, will help give this couple a fighting chance.

Edited January 10, 2020 by Sterling

[kerrieway]

14 minutes ago, qtpye said:

In all honesty, as a woman of color, I wish they would just skip matching African American people, if the matches have to be half-assed.

It is hard to see the other grooms treat their new brides so nicely and than have Brandon be almost a total ass to his (the man was fixing to walk off before the pastor let them go).

I know some people have said that Brandon is awkward, but that does not gel with what we have been presented. He was plenty charismatic and if he really is a beer salesman...that is a job that requires some social savvy.

We all picked up on that he was not happy when he saw his lovely bride.

I hope I am wrong about him and it was just his nerves. I remember he said he dated all races, including black.

I hope his idea of "black" is not just someone like Vanessa Williams (who I think has two black parents).

 

Vanessa Williams is black with two black parents but is multi-generational mixed just like Steph Curry so may have percentages of non-black DNA close to a mixed person. 

You and I agree, Brandon is not awkward, he does not like Taylor. People are just being naive or uniformed because they see two attractive people and hope for love and don't know the underlying issues. 

Well I am not a woman of color, I am black and would like them to either pick black guys who like black women or just get some other cultures in the mix if they can't do that i.e. Indians/Asians/etc. 

I won't beat this topic further on this particular episode discussion, I'm sure it will come up later anyway. 

Randomly, I think Katie looks a lot like Derek's mother (who has a marked Spanish from Spain accent). This IMO slightly improves Katies' chances, though I'm not sold that they will make it. 

Edited January 10, 2020 by kerrieway

[gonecrackers]

Did Brandon actually say he has an anxiety/panic disorder/issue? Or was it just that joke he did at the wedding that is making everyone assume he does? Because many people make lame jokes about anxiety & panic attacks, but don't really struggle with it as a condition, & would not understand what it is to have it negatively impact your life -for real.

I may have missed a comment by him so just wondering.

[kerrieway]

39 minutes ago, Sterling said:

I thought that Brandon looked super uncomfortable when he first saw Taylor for the opposite reason of him not being attracted.  I felt like he thought she was super beautiful and hot, and that his anxiety caused him to fear that someone that hot wouldn't be attracted to him.

And when he found out she's also super intelligent, appears to be a happy type of gal, with a lot of close friends & family, and his anxiety was like....whoa....this great girl might not want me.

I also think that, once her hair is down and she's back to looking like her "normal", it will even highlight her beauty.  I'm not sure if she wears a wig or not (doesn't seem like it, since her hair seemed to be put up behind her veil), but dang, that girl is hot.  She's one of those girls that a girl like me sees and feels like I'd never be close to being that hot.  Like, when she's at home hanging in her yoga pants and old t-shirt, she's even more beautiful than on her wedding day.  Add in her drive, intelligence, and education, and wow....total package.

I, too, was a bit worried about Taylor's level of attraction for Brandon, not just physically, but she might want someone with her level of education and drive.

 I think Brandon is adorable, and yes, a beer rep who spends his time in front of restaurant/bar owners, has to have a level of charisma and personality, which may have just been hidden by his fear that Taylor might not think he's hot enough, etc.

I think this is Brandon's issue alone, in that he says he suffers from panic/anxiety, and that can come across as insecurity, which can be an unattractive quality.

I personally think they seem well matched, and I loved that their families were so involved.  I adored his hot grandma dancing with him, and I loved her cousin walking her down the aisle.  I think, and hope, that this family involvement, will help give this couple a fighting chance.

I like your commentary and would love to be wrong, time will tell!

[Koalagirl]

On 1/8/2020 at 10:33 PM, OnTime said:

In other news, "Couples Couch" is back...…..ugh.

Kristine and Keith got replaced by Jep and Shawnice. All the others are back.

I would give it a chance if AJ was on! But  it still needs to be cancelled.

Did you even watch Couples couch?  Kristine and Keith did not get replaced by Jephte and Shawniece.  They’re there as are Bobby and Danielle, Ashley and Anthony.  They switched out Doug and Jamie.   Production would never put AJ on because of their problems with him during filming that season.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

I hope his idea of "black" is not just someone like Vanessa Williams (who I think has two black parents).

Yes, Vanessa Williams has two black parents.  Just like a lot of light skinned black people do, it's not such a strange thing.

 

This was the case that started not only the one drop rule, but Jim Crow.  The idea was that no matter how much "white blood" a person may have, if you were even one drop black, you were subjected to Jim Crow.  That rule has never been overturned.  That is why people of all shades will simply say, "I'm black."  This seems to be more of an issue today than it was decades ago.

Edited January 10, 2020 by Neurochick

[qtpye]

1 minute ago, Neurochick said:

Yes, Vanessa Williams has two black parents.  Just like a lot of light skinned black people do, it's not such a strange thing.

I did not say that it was strange. I was just qualifying because some people think a light skinned person must always be mixed with their immediate parents.

I was just trying to include @kerrieway's excellent post that there much more complexity to black culture than being mixed, light skinned, black etc.

Anyway, not the place to really do a deep dive on race. I hope all the couple's make it but doubt it given the show's past history.

[Racj82]

Again I feel like a lot of assumptions are being put on a guy we barely know. Brandon is not every black man, he just a black guy. 

I agree about what has been said about the constant yearning for black/black love on the show via Pastor Cal. It's being forced and/or causing the show to choose people who aren't necessarily the best choices just because they want to marry black. There are a lot of black men that love white or light skinned.

But, Brandon got himself a dime. All the facts one can try say about what black man predominantly want don't matter because she's gorgeous. No way he's sitting there thinking damn she's not white. I mean he could be but the thought that this is what he was wishing and that's why he's awkward is such a leap to me. And if he knows about the show at all, he knows that wasn't happening. I could see a black man being disappointed by the other black bride. Not saying that he should be. Just that I could see it. Not Taylor though.

Brandon could turn out to be a lot of things but I'm just like damn. Let the man live. The way he's acting, in general, is more normal that some magic chemistry and giving each other the lovey dovey eyes right off the bat. It's far more likely to be feeling each out or being nervous. This is a first date on a wedding. Being nervous or awkward in itself means nothing. It's normal for it to come with the territory. 

I always judge at least through the honeymoon. By that point they've had plenty of time to talk. They've spent personal time together. They had time to have fun and enjoy each other's company. If you are stiff and haven't let your walls down by then, that's a problem. You are getting ready to live with someone you can't feel comfortable around for whatever reason.

[Neurochick]

7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I did not say that it was strange. I was just qualifying because some people think a light skinned person must always be mixed with their immediate parents.

I was just trying to include @kerrieway's excellent post that there much more complexity to black culture than being mixed, light skinned, black etc.

Anyway, not the place to really do a deep dive on race. I hope all the couple's make it but doubt it given the show's past history.

Very true.

The reason why this show has a bad past history is because it's a show.  No matter what they want to call themselves, this is a show and a show means serious drama and drama, especially what reality shows have, cheap drama isn't about people getting along and moving through life, it's Luke and Kate, the Virgin Iris and that red headed woman from last season.  

Maybe if the ratings go down, they'll change.

[kerrieway]

Ok, on to the fun stuff! Who's going to make it? I think Austin and Jessica for sure!

[Racj82]

27 minutes ago, kerrieway said:

Ok, on to the fun stuff! Who's going to make it? I think Austin and Jessica for sure!

I can't call it anymore. I think those two have the best chance. But, much like with actual dating, I feel like in some cases we are getting the representative and not the whole person so it's hard to call upfront.

[OnTime]

2 hours ago, Koalagirl said:

On ‎1‎/‎8‎/‎2020 at 10:33 PM, OnTime said:

In other news, "Couples Couch" is back...…..ugh.

Kristine and Keith got replaced by Jep and Shawnice. All the others are back.

I would give it a chance if AJ was on! But  it still needs to be cancelled.

Did you even watch Couples couch?  Kristine and Keith did not get replaced by Jephte and Shawniece.  They’re there as are Bobby and Danielle, Ashley and Anthony.  They switched out Doug and Jamie.   Production would never put AJ on because of their problems with him during filming that season.

I didn't watch it. The promo had Jamie/Doug and not Kristine and Keith.  I can't imagine Jamie letting this pass her by. Maybe she will be on later episodes.

[configdotsys]

I think the skater that was paired with the bodybuilder is not attractive at all. It's very difficult to believe that the guy won't be disappointed.

Austin and the swimmer seemed to get along but she seems the type that everything he says needs some kind of comeback joke line. That would drive me up the wall. Maybe it's nervousness. We'll see.

I thought Brandon was disappointed on sight with Taylor and because it was such an immediate reaction, I thought perhaps he was hoping for a white woman. I don't know anything about beer ambassadors but read that they earn between $16 and $28 an hour and their responsibilities are: Beer Ambassadors work as brand representatives at various events and retailers where Golden Road beer is served or promoted- such as beer and wine festivals, charity fundraisers, and Costco stores. The Ambassador will be responsible for setting up equipment, table display, pouring beer, and educating consumers on our beers and brand identity.

Sounds like a schmoozy type gig in which you hawk product in social environments or travel around. With her promoting whiskey at events, you'd think that was something good in common because someone unfamiliar with the social, possibly flirty, friendly requirements while doing your job might get jealous or whatever. Taylor comes across as a fun type person but not a fun-fun-fun type wild gal. Maybe that is what he was hoping for. It's so hard to tell. This will be very interesting.

I don't really know much about the other couple except the whining she was doing in her wedding dress, her hairy underarms, and the miserable look the guy has in the wedding picture. I wonder if they did 5 couples because one or two will implode not too long into the season.

Edited to add: I love Derek so far. I think Katie is immature to the point that she may eventually make me pull out my hair. I anticipate that the happier she is, the more her fuck buddy will torment her and try to sabotage her relationship. As soon as he hears that Katie's been in touch with the guy, Derek should hit the road. He deserves none of that. 

Edited January 10, 2020 by configdotsys

[Empress1]

8 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

her hairy underarms, 

I didn't think Meka's underarms were hairy; I just thought they were darker than the rest of her. Not uncommon with dark skin.

9 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

 I don't know anything about beer ambassadors but read that they earn between $16 and $28 an hour and their responsibilities are: Beer Ambassadors work as brand representatives at various events and retailers where Golden Road beer is served or promoted- such as beer and wine festivals, charity fundraisers, and Costco stores. The Ambassador will be responsible for setting up equipment, table display, pouring beer, and educating consumers on our beers and brand identity.

Sounds like a schmoozy type gig in which you hawk product in social environments or travel around. With her promoting whiskey at events, you'd think that was something good in common because someone unfamiliar with the social, possibly flirty, friendly requirements while doing your job might get jealous or whatever.

The beer ambassador job description is what Taylor does except with whiskey (I think it's whiskey), and you're right that it requires flirting/schmoozing. I'd also bet that Taylor's good looks are part of why she was hired for that work, as is common in the hospitality industry. And I think it's a good point to note that someone who works in a similar space like Brandon does is a good match because he should understand that hawking booze (or anything, really) requires schmoozing - I'm sure Brandon turns up the charm to make a sale.

3 hours ago, Racj82 said:

I always judge at least through the honeymoon. By that point they've had plenty of time to talk. They've spent personal time together. They had time to have fun and enjoy each other's company. If you are stiff and haven't let your walls down by then, that's a problem. You are getting ready to live with someone you can't feel comfortable around for whatever reason.

I agree - and I'm not even talking about sex. If people look like they're not having any fun together by the end of the free vacation, they might be in trouble.

I did not like Boston Molly but she was right when she said that if she wasn't attracted to Jon by a certain point (I think they were three weeks or a month in), she wasn't going to get there. I think that's pretty universally true. Attraction can grow, but there's definitely a point of no return.

[psychoticstate]

First, the Couples Couch needs to go away.  Bravo's The People's Couch can come back though.

I am in love with Derek.  He seems very sincere, fun, and has a good relationship with his parents.  Don't let me down, Derek.  

Katie turned around very quickly, which makes me think that maybe she transferred her feelings (or whatever) about her ex (or whatever he was) immediately onto Derek, which isn't good.   I hope this ex (or whatever he was) doesn't show up during the season and throw a wrench into their relationship.  

They do look cute together though and seem to have a good bit in common.  I am pulling for them.

I didn't feel one way or the other towards Austin last week but after watching this epi and hearing his vows (which were gold), I am absolutely Team Austin.  I loved that he told Jess they should just have fun and get to know each other and their families at the reception.  (I did notice that he first said he couldn't wait for the evening, caught her look, and then quickly corrected to mention the reception.  That bodes well since Jess was one that said she wouldn't be having sex on her wedding night.) They apparently share the same geeky sense of humor.  Out of the three couples shown so far, I think they have the greatest chance of going the distance. 

Brandon's vows were a disaster.  And I didn't understand why he unbuttoned his jacket on the way down the aisle.  No, Brandon.  Taylor seems too busy to be married.  Maybe she should have gotten a second dog instead?  I don't feel these two will make it, at least not yet.  Being awkward with a stranger you just married is understandable (although that awkwardness really stood out after seeing how well the two other couples were getting along post-nuptials).  I was surprised though.  Brandon mentioned being social and going places by himself so I figured he would be able to chat up people easily.  

At two hours long, I figured we'd see all the couples marrying.  Way to drag it out, MAFS.  

Any idea when they actually married?  Taylor and Brandon married in exactly the same place that Katie and Derek did.  

Wonder if all the couples will honeymoon together like last season? 

[qtpye]

30 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I didn't think Meka's underarms were hairy; I just thought they were darker than the rest of her. Not uncommon with dark skin.

The beer ambassador job description is what Taylor does except with whiskey (I think it's whiskey), and you're right that it requires flirting/schmoozing. I'd also bet that Taylor's good looks are part of why she was hired for that work, as is common in the hospitality industry. And I think it's a good point to note that someone who works in a similar space like Brandon does is a good match because he should understand that hawking booze (or anything, really) requires schmoozing - I'm sure Brandon turns up the charm to make a sale.

I agree - and I'm not even talking about sex. If people look like they're not having any fun together by the end of the free vacation, they might be in trouble.

I did not like Boston Molly but she was right when she said that if she wasn't attracted to Jon by a certain point (I think they were three weeks or a month in), she wasn't going to get there. I think that's pretty universally true. Attraction can grow, but there's definitely a point of no return.

I think Molly is a prime example of beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Many women thought Jon was definitely one the most attractive men to ever come on the show. Heck, the previous sex therapist lost her cushy gig on this show just to be with him.

Molly was not into him from the start and would never be into him. Sometimes the chemistry is just not there for one of the partners. I also think that the contestants that are recruited are less likely to try to give someone they are not attracted to a chance when compared to someone who applies organically and really wants to be married.  I would not be surprised if Molly was recruited.

 

[psychoticstate]

36 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

 

I agree - and I'm not even talking about sex. If people look like they're not having any fun together by the end of the free vacation, they might be in trouble.

I did not like Boston Molly but she was right when she said that if she wasn't attracted to Jon by a certain point (I think they were three weeks or a month in), she wasn't going to get there. I think that's pretty universally true. Attraction can grow, but there's definitely a point of no return.

I agree with your first point about the honeymoons.  If a couple can't even have a good time in a fun location, they're likely doomed.  And if they're already fighting or having issues, it's pretty much a done deal.  (Speaking of, are Elizabeth and Jamie from last season still together?) 

I do think three weeks or a month in isn't really that long.  I mean, Jamie was still on the fence about Doug at that point, wasn't she?  I'm not sure that Molly went into it with an open mind and honest intentions.  She seemed to have marked Jon out pretty quickly.  Not as quickly as Heather and Derek but still pretty quickly. 

On another topic, I wish the show and the "experts" would quit calling this an experiment.  They are so quick to remind us a thousand times each show that these are real marriages.  Okay, then call them that and not an experiment.  An experiment does not make it sound lasting and certainly doesn't call for the repeated reminders that the couples will need to actually divorce if it doesn't work.  JMO. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

20 hours ago, Blissfool said:

The pastor said, "With the power INVESTED in me..." so he has no room to judge.

One of the grooms referred to "the brevity of the situation," according to my ears and the captions. 

I try not to judge too harshly because I fear what malapropism I might come up with if I were under enough stress AND being recorded.  But still.

 

[qtpye]

8 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

One of the grooms referred to "the brevity of the situation," according to my ears and the captions. 

I try not to judge too harshly because I fear what malapropism I might come up with if I were under enough stress AND being recorded.  But still.

 

This almost feels Freudian. 

[Empress1]

27 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

I do think three weeks or a month in isn't really that long.  I mean, Jamie was still on the fence about Doug at that point, wasn't she? 

No idea as I didn't watch that season. I don't think three weeks or a month is long in a regular dating relationship - you might only go out on three dates with someone in a month. And I don't think a month is long to wait to have sex. But if you've married a person, you've been on a vacation with them, and you're sharing a living space and after a month of that you don't want to kiss them with tongue, I'm not too confident that that will change. There are exceptions, of course - I can think of a few couples I know that were friends first, so there was no thought of attraction until they decided to look at each other That Way. (I think the best romantic relationships are also friendships - you need to love your person and want a sexual relationship with them, but you also need to like them.)

[sara416]

Gripe from an ACTUAL therapist that specializes in children:
"Children's Therapist" is a job title at a place of employment. You are NOT a therapist if you are not master's level and licensed. You just aren't. And when you get your degree, it will likely be in social work or counseling. And your license will be and LPC (or some variation) or an LCSW. You aren't a children's therapist. That is not your profession. Stop calling yourself that. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

[PityFree]

On 1/9/2020 at 4:52 PM, Jaclyn88 said:

I thought Bobby was the biggest catch this shows ever had . He treated the wife .. Danielle ? Like a queen , was very genuine and he was adorable . Can’t figure out why he needed this show but it worked out for him 

 I remember the first few episodes with him when I thought he might be a secret serial killer. Good times. 

[PityFree]

4 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I didn't think Meka's underarms were hairy; I just thought they were darker than the rest of her. Not uncommon with dark skin.be in trouble.

I thought it was just skin discoloration, too. But, right after that scene my mom called to ask if the bride had hairy armpits.  I explained to my mom* that armpit skin can get irritated because of shaving or other things and look darker. It can happen on women with all skin tones. It’s common enough that they even make women’s antiperspirants that lighten underarm skin. Dove makes one! 

(I had to explain this to my mom because she has some kind of genetic quirk that means she’s never had armpit hair. Two of my sisters got that gene, too. I wasn’t that lucky.)

[seasick]

First of all I think matching a beer ambassador for whatever that means with a scientist has to be the worst matchup. And I can't stand Brandon. I'm sure he uses his good looks to talk a good sales game but that's probably about as deep as he goes. He admits to his anxiety and insecurities but he tries too hard to be smooth and cool to cover it up. He has no depth and has no idea what to talk to a woman about. He's a simpleton Point Blank.

And by the way what does "owning your mistakes " mean? Is that like " yeah okay so I lied! " " okay so yeah I was texting my ex.." sounds like he's had practice owning his bullshut. Strange thing to put up front in your wedding vows. Made me suspicious.

I love Jess and Austin and he got more attractive and more manly as time went on. I hope they don't friend zone but I see what others are seeing there.

I hope Katie goes all in with Derek and doesn't just use him to try and turn up the heat on the ex. I hope she gives it a sincere try for the entire 8 weeks. He didn't come across as the sexiest guy alive but I think he'll make a great husband.

[dirtypop90]

11 hours ago, kerrieway said:

I agree with you but want to make a distinction: Colorism, featurism, and a preference for non-black/racially ambiguous/mixed women are three different things that can overlap with self-hating black men. 

Meagan Goode is black (2 black parents) and doesn't look mixed but she is lighter browned skinned, I wouldn't say exactly light skinned but close. However she is pretty, with a nose that isn't overtly afro-centric. Everything else,: cheekbones and full lips are pretty afo-centric IMO. 

However, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, and Alicia Keys are MIXED, not black--they all have white mothers. A light skinned black woman would be someone with two black parents. However, looks can vary because most black Americans are 70% - 85% African descent so some black people can and will look like mixed people. Loni Love and Tamar Braxton on the Real are both black but Loni is 83% black and is dark skinned and Tamar is 84% black and is medium brown skinned. You can see this on their DNA video on youtube. 

Light-skinned black people who look mixed would be actress Bianca Lawson and Steph Curry and his wife. These people may be 70% black or more but their non-black genes are dominant in their appearance.

I don't follow the one-drop rule but a lot of uninformed people do. Thankfully, more and more black women are waking up to this nonsense and mixed women like Meghan Markle (who has a black mom/white father) will honestly relay that they are mixed because they are self-aware enough not to pretend to be black because it's not an accurate or fair comparison to black women.

Trey was mixed so I can make an allowance for him wanting a mixed or non-black woman. Jephte's cheating self is trash. Tristan is trash and is newly engaged again to a lighter/prettier version of Meagan Goode. I knew Will didn't like dark girls with Jasmine's features (wide nose, kinkier hair etc) ---basically the female version of himself. 

It's like layers of a self-hating preference onion. When a guy wants a lighter brown-skinned woman he may just want a girl with less dominant black features but still black, i.e. Megan Goode or Ciara.

Then we go down to more features. Maybe Rihanna who'd look very black if she had very dark skin but has a feature, i.e. light eyes and a darker caramel color that would maybe make you question whether she was "completely black". 

Then a step down, perhaps Bianca Lawson because she has light skin and probably 3c hair, more neutral features but would also look black with darker skin.

The inner layer of the onion would be mixed people. Meghan Markle. 

Then finally non-black women who tan, Kim Ks and Jennifer Lopez. 

Check out Chrissie's youtube vids if you want more examples. 

Didn’t mean to offend with the meagan Goode comment. I was watching an interview where she discussed her background and she called herself mixed and listed a long list of things.

I know Rihanna has a white grandparent and she looks it to me

to me, they have a different look than brown skinned women you described like Ciara or the actresses Sanaa Lathan and Regina king. Just listing names off the top of my head...

Im from Florida where mixed women call themselves mixed when asked and not just “black” and if you asked what they were mixed with they’d say Puerto Rican and black or whatever. Possibly because we have a lot of Latinos and interracial pairings? There are a lot of darker skinned mixed people in Florida and they would still say they are mixed. I was more than a little confused when I moved to another part of the country.

[dirtypop90]

9 hours ago, qtpye said:

I did not say that it was strange. I was just qualifying because some people think a light skinned person must always be mixed with their immediate parents.

I was just trying to include @kerrieway's excellent post that there much more complexity to black culture than being mixed, light skinned, black etc.

Anyway, not the place to really do a deep dive on race. I hope all the couple's make it but doubt it given the show's past history.

She still has mostly European blood and you can tell. I just don’t think a man being attracted to her  says much about his attraction to black women. But I realize the expert can’t do anything about this issue except ask for skin tone preferences? But that would be a little weird. Idk I’m just tired of seeing this issue. 
 

I will just hope that’s not Brandon’s issue

[ladle]

The main lingering question here is whether Katie’s dad looks more like a young Bruce Willis or a young Michael Keaton. 

[nutella fitzgerald]

I just watched 1,000-Lb. Sisters, and I swear the shot of the one sister squirting whipped cream into a dish went on for longer than Austin’s best man speech. 

[ShowFan]

12 hours ago, kerrieway said:

I agree with you but want to make a distinction: Colorism, featurism, and a preference for non-black/racially ambiguous/mixed women are three different things that can overlap with self-hating black men. 

Interesting post and I literally had to google every name you called out except Rihanna! Had no idea who the others were or what they looked like. Honestly, if it wasn’t for this show, I’d probably have gone through life never knowing that black men have interest in light skinned women who don’t have African features! I must live under a rock. I find this quite fascinating so I’m reading all these posts with a lot of interest

[Blissfool]

5 hours ago, qtpye said:

This almost feels Freudian. 

Funny you should say that. I thought it was very telling when the Pastor teased Brandon for kissing the bride prematurely and walking away. Brandon responded, "Its what I do." I added, "in bed?"

[Ginger]

On 1/9/2020 at 12:09 PM, calpurnia99 said:

why did they match a super smart scientist with a kind of dumb beer distributor?

I said this exact thing to my daughter after the first episode. Physical beauty can only go so far and matching someone so intelligent with a beer salesman (let's face, that's what he is) with no higher education is just not going to work. Eventually she will feel that she has married down and he will feel intimidated and take it out on her. Just my $0.02.

[peaceknit]

On 1/9/2020 at 12:16 AM, silverspoons said:

Jessica saying she wanted a man with dark hair and a beard and not blond hair as the switch over to Austin...now if they had something else in common, both wanted to start a free medical clinic  or both were vegans that want to live in a tiny house but I see nothing in common and now she describes wanting a different physical type.  If the matchmakers really wanted to match her, could they not have at least found her a guy with dark hair? I was happy to see them at least having a laugh after the wedding ceremony. 

Yeah, I didn't think she was that attracted to him. She was giggly, but it was more of a nervous giggle. In the high of the moment. But physically, he's not her type. That long, greasy hair has to go.

[kerrieway]

4 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

Didn’t mean to offend with the meagan Goode comment. I was watching an interview where she discussed her background and she called herself mixed and listed a long list of things.

I know Rihanna has a white grandparent and she looks it to me

to me, they have a different look than brown skinned women you described like Ciara or the actresses Sanaa Lathan and Regina king. Just listing names off the top of my head...

Im from Florida where mixed women call themselves mixed when asked and not just “black” and if you asked what they were mixed with they’d say Puerto Rican and black or whatever. Possibly because we have a lot of Latinos and interracial pairings? There are a lot of darker skinned mixed people in Florida and they would still say they are mixed. I was more than a little confused when I moved to another part of the country.

You didn't offend me, I found your comment refreshingly honest actually. I too was listing names off the top of my head but had no idea about Rihanna's white grandparent. As far as Meagan Good, yeah she's black even if she wishes to delude herself otherwise, I've seen her parents (her mom looks like should could be mixed but both her parents could be any black Americans). In Meagan Good's statement about her race she seems as misinformed as the average person.

She said, "my mother's mother is Jewish and African, so i guess that would be considered Creole

(No Meagan that is not Creole, Creole is French, Spanish, Native American and African usually found in Louisiana/Mississippi and the Southern US. So her grandmother is part Jewish?).

My father was Cherokee Indian and something else

(another Black person claiming to be Cherokee...OMG it's like the only tribe any of us have heard of and statistically it's not true at all for 99% of black people. The Cherokee everyone thinks they are is used to explain away non-black features people unknowingly inherited from white ancestors they never knew. Also, what is this "something else" she's talking about being mixed with? Mixed people usually know what they're mixed with and personally know or their parents knew the non-black ancestors they are discussing).

My dad's mother's Puerto Rican (Puerto Rico is an island not a race, this Puerto Rican grandparent could be black or a mixture of black, Indian, Iberian/Spanish etc...anything for all we know) and black, and his father was from Barbados (again another entire country, this does not mean she is of a different race.)

Meagan is uninformed and looks about as mixed as Ciara IMO.

Yes, I'm from South Florida and understand you perfectly. I know we all understand Latino is not a race but an ethnicity, there are black, white, and mixed latinos but yes you make an excellent point, mixed people in Dade and Broward and Orange County can and will tell you what they are mixed with because usually they know the parents and grandparents that they are telling others about.

Again, I appreciate and thank you for your comments, this continues to be an interesting and educational convo for many of us, I suspect even the lurkers, though it could be considered a little off topic.  

Edited January 11, 2020 by kerrieway