S03.E13: Against All Odds/S03.E14: Tell All

[b2H]

On 10/29/2019 at 7:42 AM, ava111 said:

Jesse as always can't disappoint with his bulshit. Full of himself telling us how he gives speeches on big stages while talking to handful of his "fans" in retirement home that are "barely there"... Such a grand life he lives. Avery and Tim were correct asking: why was he there? If he was not there to be on stage with Tom and Darcy what was the point of all this? Oh to tell us about his grand life. 

What I wanted to know is:

Who the hell is paying him for that tripe?  I have my degree in Psychology too, but I wouldn't think of going out there, on the basis of the degree, and make myself into a relationship expert.  Good Lord!!!!!

And yes, TLC decided this would be a good idea and then found out, the hard way, that it was an awful idea and got some religion or common sense or something and decided to change the program up a bit.  Poor Jesse had to make his attack on an empty chair/sofa.

[Drogo]

8 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

After all the BS in the Maria segment, Caesar finally gets to ask Maria a question and he asks her "are you seeing somebody else?"...WTF?

[b2H]

On 10/29/2019 at 8:39 AM, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Also, Angela absolutely made a swing and made physical contact with Avery’s finger and slapped it away. That isn’t okay at all. TLC should have shut her down immediately and TERMINATED her contract forever. The moment TLC did nothing it emboldened Angela to keep going with their approval. That’s the worst I have ever seen on this franchise. Not cool TLC. 

I mean where is the line drawn when assault is committed freely? I would own TLC if I were Avery. 

You notice that she was escorted off the stage and out of the building after all of that.  There's no more Angela after that and that poor excuse for a human should never be allowed back in the franchise.  She's so full of herself that she doesn't realize she just lost her income supplement.  If she does come back next season, a lot of letters need to be written to get her out of there.

[Frozendiva]

4 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Not - what did you do with the money I sent to you? Why did you always bail on us meeting? Your mother’s birthday is on the same day every year?  How many more grandmas do you have? How many more men are you bilking?

[Drogo]

Just now, Frozendiva said:

Not - what did you do with the money I sent to you? Why did you always bail on us meeting? Your mother’s birthday is on the same day every year?  How many more grandmas do you have? How many more men are you bilking?

You can only ask me one question, so make it a good one. 

ex:  "What's your favorite seasonal Frappuccino?"

[Normades]

2 minutes ago, Drogo said:

You can only ask me one question, so make it a good one. 

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

psst...Teri & Avery, next time grab a cake

[Mu Shu]

On 10/28/2019 at 7:29 PM, RealReality said:

LOL.  Darcy's face when she realized that the only person who understood her bathroom ho bath was big Ange.  Priceless.  

Big Ange probably used just as much of whatever angel knockoff body fantasies fragrance she has.  

Ug, Darcy must have stank like an old school French hooker.  She aimed at least 8 angel spray pumps at her unwashed cooch.  

Let’s be fair. She wasn’t using the little angry star Eau de Parfum version. She was using the “daytime Angel”. The Eau de Toilette. That’s restraint! And I’m pretty sure our Darcey had some of those Summers Eve in Angel scent wipes to freshen up the LBs. 

i went out to publix last night for wine for the Real Housewives viewing . There was a woman in the wine aisle teetering towards me in 5 inch heels (swear I saw a red sole) some cooch length dress/romper combo with her giant boobs strapped up and quivering under her chin. Tons of drag makeup and false eyelashes. I almost called her Darcey. Left me in a cloud of Angel. Too bad that shit is so funk. I love the little angry star bottle. It’s so pugnacious. 

[RealReality]

41 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

After all the BS in the Maria segment, Caesar finally gets to ask Maria a question and he asks her "are you seeing somebody else?"...WTF?

Technically the answer is "no" right? 

She doesn't actually SEE any of these guys since she just sends them generic stock videos.  

[b2H]

23 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

Emma is awful, I agree. So two-faced. Pretending to care about Darcey at the salsa club and speaking supportively of her brother throughout. And dragging Darcey AND her brother on the tell all. Bellowing repeatedly on the tell all that they don't even know each other's favorite colors. All the obnoxious laughter and sanctimony. The peurile floral print clothing! 

I find her to be refreshing.  She's calling a spade a shovel and she's smacking both of them over the head with it.  It's true - neither one of them really have a deep relationship.  Tom is definitely self-involved, but he's dealing with another self-involved person in Darcy.  When dealing with this type of person, only one can be the self-involved one - the other has to accommodate.  This isn't gonna work, no way, no how.

Emma is shining the bright light on the relationship and she is the bellweather trying to protect her brother who, (with two previous engagements, both of which bailed on him) doesn't have a great record.  Not sure Emma has any better one, but she's certainly looking at things with a clearer eye and he respects her for that.

[Pepper Mostly]

3 hours ago, Normades said:

I just don't understand the whole "it's not your business" thing.  They are on NATIONAL TV showing their asses.  It's EVERYONE'S business.  

Still I think Avery and Tim were just starting drama to get air time, but crazy Angela took it to another level. 

I agree. I'm sure they're encouraged to "air their feelings" and "don't hold back". And the boredom must be staggering. Anything to lighten the tedium.

And Angela is full of shit. Its not her business either. The way she swanned in with Jesse, introducing him around like she was Queen Hostess. I bet she invited him to visit her in Georgia. Maybe she could fix him up with Skylar.

1 hour ago, BallisticNikki said:

That's 100% not ok. Makes me feel Angela isn't just a loud attn whore, stunting for ratings, but actually, a crazy, violent asshole w serious issues. Like there was no cause things to go that far.

Yes, this. She is not funny and she's not the one you love to hate. She's meaner than catshit, as my dad used to say. She's a very angry and violent person, ugly inside and out.

24 minutes ago, Normades said:

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Is that the African swallow or the European swallow?

[MajorNelson]

3 hours ago, ohcomeon said:

She'll say nice things to your face because she wants to appear like a nice person, and then makes all sorts of terrible comments about the person.

3 hours ago, ohcomeon said:

in Darcey world, Tom's life really didn't begin until she came into it.

3 hours ago, ohcomeon said:

Emma stepping away from her fun night of dancing to deal with Darcey, a person she didn't have responsibility for, shows true compassion.

Good post, and these are really good.

[Spike]

1 hour ago, Bugfrey Von said:

Gah, gas lighting Jesse sucks so fucking hard.  I'm sure Darcy is a pill, but fuck off already. Take your Osh Gosh B'gosh vest with you.  

I giggle to think about how grossed out Jesse was by Angela.  Before anything even happened, he visibly cringed when she hugged him.  Not who he wanted at his defense, FOR SURE.  Angela is so freaking gross, my god.  Seeing as her entire life is a Jerry Springer show, someone should have thrown a chair at that shit-head.  She made my blood boil.  She's a huge (metaphorical and physical) bully.  

Aww shit, I just saw the clip with him and the old folks.  I cannot.  I am laughing so hard.  I love old people, I work with them myself, but they looked bored as shit.  Also, him at dinner with those "friends" (actors)....he really needs to work on their acting skills because they could barely control their eye-rolls.  

The thing is if any other cast member kicked Angela’s ass she would then use her age as an excuse.  “They was pickin on the elderlies!”

[pdlinda]

3 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Hi, Neighbor!  We live in Mesa!!!

LOLOL.....I live in north central phx but had to travel to mesa many times when I was working for the County!!

[magemaud]

I'm wondering if the original plan had been to have Jesse, Darcey and Tom on stage together but the drama with Angela in the Green Room made for better TV, so they went with that instead. Jesse still got to come out, claim that it was Darcey who constantly initiated contact with him and promote his new business (complete with shower scene) but any plan for interaction with Darcey was scrapped. 

I was also disappointed that there were no follow up questions regarding Tom's being engaged twice before but "both fiancees bailed on him." That was just glossed over in favor of Darcey's reaction and the subject was quickly dropped. 

[KateHearts]

I found it amusing that Jesse and Darcey both refer to "moving on" and love to wax on about how great their lives are and how they don't need each other- only to talk to a group of rando "clients" (paid actors?) at some Dutch restaurant about how "my ex is stalking me" (Jesse) or displaying how "my ex is stalking me in the middle of the night" complete with text messages (did you read closely? most of them were HER messages, saying "I miss you") on TV when your supposed "new British man Tom" is sitting next to her (Darcey). 

I don't deny for a moment that Jesse is the biggest tool ever. And any normal person, if invited to participate in a TV show about what a shitty couple you made with a supposedly in-the-past ex, would say no thanks. But he did try to keep his composure as Avery jumped all over him, standing on her high horse about how unsavory a human being he is without any provocation at all. She really could have been much less melodramatic. And now she and Darcey are best friends? "Darcey is such a good person!!!" Based on- your watching her on TV? I expect that kind of emotion from a 19 year old; still, it wasn't called for and Tim didn't need to get all into it too. He spent most of the show being judgy. He needs to open his eyes when he talks. That closed/half-mast thing drives me nuts.  

Oh, and while I'm talking about Avery's superior attitude about life and relationships? Caesar "deserves better"? Please.

[SabineElisabeth]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

You can only ask me one question, so make it a good one. 

1 hour ago, Normades said:

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

51 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Is that the African swallow or the European swallow?

🤣🤣🤣  This show has become "meh." But I live for the snark....  And I say this often, but I absolutely must quit peeking at your posts while I'm at work, as I've received 3 emails in the last 5 minutes from coworkers asking me if I'm okay.... and that's with my office door closed.

Deep breaths... focus.... I CAN stop laughing hysterically. . I CAN stop laughing hysterically. . I CAN stop laughing hysterically.....

[Spike]

14 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Tim didn't need to get all into it too. He spent most of the show being judgy. He needs to open his eyes when he talks. That closed/half-mast thing drives me nuts.  

He should be Garfield for Halloween.

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

You can only ask me one question, so make it a good one. 

Do you prefer your chocolate underwear before or after Hammer Time?

[magemaud]

10 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Do you prefer your chocolate underwear before or after Hammer Time?

or during?

[calpurnia99]

4 hours ago, Normades said:

I just don't understand the whole "it's not your business" thing.  They are on NATIONAL TV showing their asses.  It's EVERYONE'S business.  

Still I think Avery and Tim were just starting drama to get air time, but crazy Angela took it to another level. 

I agree about them being on National TV and it's all of our business. It's fine to discuss with others in a forum and to our friends. But in person, I don't think it's too nice to tell one of them off if I were to meet one. 

  I  think Avery was wrong in laying into him, in the sense that in that circumstance you should act cordial.  If I were in a room with one of these Reality Stahs that I dislike, I'd say hello and keep my hatred to myself.  My best friend HATES her ex-husband for many good reasons. If I found myself alone with him, I wouldn't buddy up but I would not tell him off. either. I'd be a cordial human being. 

Avery being on reality TV herself should know it's hard and it's often edited a certain way.  She said it was hypocritical to be nice to Darcy and then act all friendly to Jesse. No one was asking her to be all friendly- she could have sat there and ignored him. Had she shut her judgmental trap and behaved like a polite human being none of this would have "happened to her".  I'm not saying she deserved Angie's insane behavior, but she started this ball rolling and then the oh Poor poor me. 

[lovesnark]

Let's pretend for a minute that Darcey finally finds a guy dumb enough marry her. He buys her a giant, vulgar engagement ring so she can brandish it like a weapon at Stacey every day. She spends a ridiculous sum on an utterly hideous Pnina Tornai stripper style wedding gown that barely covers her nipples (I wonder if Pnina ever uses pleather in her designs??) and she'll wear some insanely overpriced  6 inch, rhinestone studded shoes. Of course, she'll want Stacey to be her matron of honor. She'll say she chose Stacey because she's her twin and she loves her more than anyone and will drunkenly slur words to that effect to anyone within earshot. But, truthfully it's  because she'll be able to lord every aspect of her engagement and wedding over her 24/7. 

Everything about her wedding will be garish and over the top. She'll stagger/totter her way down the aisle being supported and pretty much held up by her dad or whatever poor schlub she ropes into doing it.  C'mon. We know she'll be hammered by the time she's to make her grand entrance. Her guests will need gas masks to keep from passing out after exposure to enough Angel to cause respiratory arrest (I love that perfume, by the way. But, it's so damn strong I stopped wearing it. Even if you do a tiny spray into the air and walk under it, it's still way too strong. Works great to cover old dog smell in my truck, though😂).  After she's ugly cried/slurred her vows, she'll make a nasty passive aggressive dig at Stacey and her new husband can half carry her into their you'll need sunglasses to shield your eyes from all the rhinestones reception. Stacey will give an insincere, passive aggressive speech, Darcey's daughters will bail at the first opportunity and Darcey will be a lipstick smeared, eyelashes falling off mess before the night is over. Bonus if the photographer snaps one of her painfully overinflated boobs hanging out of her gown.

Mr & Mrs Overthetop leave the next day for their honeymoon. Which will consist of Darcey drinking 24/7 and slurring 'isn't this romantic, baby?' all day, every day.

Honeymoon's over. Now what? Travel the world together? Darcey isn't interested in seeing the world. She wasted trips to Amsterdam and London and only showed interest in something if it pertained to an engagement or wedding. Talk about things? Only if the conversations are about Darcey, Stacey being jealous of their perfect love, designer clothing, designer handbags, designer shoes, ugly fake hair and cosmetic procedures. If her new husband is rich, he can give her a sketch book and some colored pencils so she can scribble some new ideas for pleather against humanity and bankroll her 'designs'. 

All snark aside, I don't believe Darcey has given any thought to, you know,  marriage. All she wants is an engagement and a wedding. After that, she's got nuthin' and I honestly don't see her as being able to be a real partner to someone. She's fucked up emotionally, has a huge problem with alcohol and doesn't seem to even be aware of what a mess she is.  Not the best partner material.

[Mr. Miner]

46 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I was also disappointed that there were no follow up questions regarding Tom's being engaged twice

That would require, you know, a host that does more than just say WOW! all night. My vote is for Tarik and Dean, they would kill it! 

[b2H]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

Jesse still got to come out, claim that it was Darcey who constantly initiated contact with him and promote his new business (complete with shower scene) but any plan for interaction with Darcey was scrapped. 

Phone records are readily available to the most discerning eyes.  I notice no one did that research and display.

[Normades]

28 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

Everything about her wedding will be garish and over the top. She'll stagger/totter her way down the aisle being supported and pretty much held up by her dad or whatever poor schlub she ropes into doing it.

You forgot the horse drawn Cinderella carriage.  Other than that you're spot on (as Tom would say).

[Bej]

I think that tim needs to worry more about his E.D. rather then attack Jessie for showing up to a place he was clearly invited too. At least Jessie could get it up lol.

[BallisticNikki]

2 hours ago, b2H said:

I find her to be refreshing.  She's calling a spade a shovel and she's smacking both of them over the head with it. ....

Emma is shining the bright light on the relationship and she is the bellweather trying to protect her brother who, (with two previous engagements, both of which bailed on him) doesn't have a great record. 

Ok, but is that fun and entertaining? That sounds like therapy. Or one of those Dr. Drew drug Intervention programs. I'm here for the LOLs and foolishness.😂

1 hour ago, Spike said:

The thing is if any other cast member kicked Angela’s ass she would then use her age as an excuse.  “They was pickin on the elderlies!”

Or that she's a White woman in America!😂 Or any ridiculous excuse

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

I was also disappointed that there were no follow up questions regarding Tom's being engaged twice before but "both fiancees bailed on him." That was just glossed over in favor of Darcey's reaction and the subject was quickly dropped. 

No, Shaun asked! Remember, he told her the first one ended bc they were too young. And the second one ended bc....some convoluted explanation about two ppl just wanting a good time or some crap. And then Emma interjected her own theory why it ended. 

Mehhh, I wish she hadn't asked bc all we got was Tom's side and even then, it was just a lot of ....words and phrases.

[b2H]

1 minute ago, BallisticNikki said:

I'm here for the LOLs and foolishness.😂

When we can point and laugh at the delusions of these knuckleheads in the privacy of our homes (or in my case, a hotel room), I think it works.

[BallisticNikki]

Speaking of Jesse's TOTALLY GRATUITOUS BARE ASSED shower scene.....🤔

Was that footage from a previous episode when he was with Darcey or something? Or was that clip shot just to show on the tell all and not from any episode of the show? I'm so confused by this. Or was it from the cut out scenes when he and Darcy supposedly began filming together this season? Same w/ the footage of his motivational speeches? Shot just for a montage on the tell all? Or from actual scenes that did or did not make into episodes?

[Gobi]

6 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

Speaking of Jesse's TOTALLY GRATUITOUS BARE ASSED shower scene.....🤔

Was that footage from a previous episode when he was with Darcey or something? Or was that clip shot just to show on the tell all and not from any episode of the show? I'm so confused by this. Or was it from the cut out scenes when he and Darcy supposedly began filming together this season? Same w/ the footage of his motivational speeches? Shot just for a montage on the tell all? Or from actual scenes that did or did not make into episodes?

Putting this in a spoiler, just in case.

Spoiler

The rumour is that originally, Jesse and Darcey were to be featured again this season. For some reason, Tom was substituted for Jesse some time after filming started. If so, than the footage we saw on the Tell All was probably filmed while Jesse was still part of the show.

[Spike]

21 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

Speaking of Jesse's TOTALLY GRATUITOUS BARE ASSED shower scene.....🤔

Was that footage from a previous episode when he was with Darcey or something? Or was that clip shot just to show on the tell all and not from any episode of the show? I'm so confused by this. Or was it from the cut out scenes when he and Darcy supposedly began filming together this season? Same w/ the footage of his motivational speeches? Shot just for a montage on the tell all? Or from actual scenes that did or did not make into episodes?

In fairness, they also showed Ben showering so it’s not necessarily an excuse to show beefcake.

[BallisticNikki]

11 minutes ago, Spike said:

In fairness, they also showed Ben showering so it’s not necessarily an excuse to show beefcake.

True! But that scene was actually featured in an episode and was maybe...possibly...tangentially relevent, as in "a-day-in-the-life" in his intimidating Kenyan brother-in-law's house?

Edited October 30, 2019 by BallisticNikki

[Spike]

1 minute ago, BallisticNikki said:

True! But that scene was actually featured in an episode and was maybe...possibly...tangentially relevent, as in "a-day-in-the-life" in his intimidating Kenyan brother-in-law's house candid grounding sequence. LOL

They always have shower footage on The Bachelor, so I guess it’s becoming a reality tv trope.

[Adeejay]

6 hours ago, doyouevengohere said:

Avery said on her IG that Angela and Skylar physically attacked her mom and TLC didn't show it.  

I don’t believe her. Why is she posting it on IG, instead of filing charges? I thought Avery was just as obnoxious as Angela.  I couldn’t believe my ears when she told her mom, who was trying to comfort her, “Don’t touch me.”

Edited October 30, 2019 by Adeejay

[b2H]

31 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I don’t believe her. Why is she posting it on IG, instead of filing charges? I thought Avery was just as obnoxious as Angela.  I couldn’t believe my ears she she told her mom, who was trying to comfort her, “Don’t touch me.”

I could suggest that TLC has asked her not to, in order to continue on the show.  There might even be something in the contract between Avery (and the others) and TLC that they can't sue for something like that.  The Bachelor franchise contracts have similar language.

[Scofflaw]

On 10/29/2019 at 5:03 AM, Callaphera said:

Oh, Caesar. Caesar, Caesar, Caesar. You're a fucking creep and thanks for letting everyone know it. YKINMK and that's okay but it sure was nice of you to slip in the, "I brought a whip," along with the mention of the Chocolate Panties*. But he would have gone slowly on the first meeting, y'all, and he would have waited one whole day before it was Hammer Time. No word on how long he would wait for Whippin' Time. Maria should be thanking her lucky stars that her ticket was cancelled and she got to avoid that mess. What. The. Fuck. 

Also, I cracked the hell up when at the end of the show, Maria said something, let the pause afterwards go on for so long it almost edged into uncomfortable territory and then dropped that, "Okay," with the slight dismissive shrug. Could she be any more ESL Ukrainian? It was like being at one of those weddings where all my family that never sees or talks to each other shows up because there's free booze and food and I'm trying to stumble my way through a half-Ukrainian/half-English conversation with my cousins (we're all cousins even if we're not) because Great Uncle Dmytro can smell that kubasa from halfway across the world. Or maybe it's Great Uncle Dmytro that smells like kubasa - it's been a long time since we had one of those weddings and my Ukrainian is still shit but I know all the food words!

Anywho. I'm hashtag Team Maria. (But my favourite pairing of the season is still Akinyi/Margarita. Still a better love story than Twilight.)

*I feel like Chocolate Panties deserve a fully capitalized title at this point. They were practically a character on their own this season. I hope they got a nice stipend. 

This times a thousand. He's trying to portray himself as some kind of romantic hero, but these three "slips" say that he just wanted to buy himself a sexy girl toy that would "owe" him whatever he wanted from her in bed. He's gross. 

[Normades]

1 hour ago, Spike said:

In fairness, they also showed Ben showering so it’s not necessarily an excuse to show beefcake.

I certainly enjoy watching Jesse in the shower a lot more than Ben!!

[Cherrio]

1 minute ago, Normades said:

I certainly enjoy watching Jesse in the shower a lot more than Ben!!

They had to construct a special extra large shower so he could fit his forehead in it.

[calpurnia99]

I'm rewatching some of this. In the hallway Avery says Oh I'm going to say something to Maria, she used Ceasar and that's just wrong.  Ok Avery you know everything! This was after telling Jesse her thoughts on him almost got her beaten by a crazy woman. 

During the tell-all, Maria could hear the other cast taking Cesar's side, things like "you dodged a bullet" and the like, which made her think that "everyone hates me and loves you Cesar". I think her point was he knew DAMN well what he was and was not paying for. Then trying to make it look like he is a victim. When he said "I'm done" it was so funny when she said "done with what?" Cause he is NEVER done. As long as this tool is going to keep sending her money, she'll take it. This isn't her problem that he isn't getting the message. Poor, poor Ceasar.

Edited October 30, 2019 by calpurnia99

[Eme]

Avery confronting Jesse is consistent with everything we’ve seen from her.  She’s stubborn and doesn’t listen to anyone.  She has strong opinions, which is fine, but she sure shuts down her Mom when she has contrary opinions.  She just bit off more than she could chew with Big Ange.  
Clearly she was taken aback by Big Ange and wasn’t able to respond in kind because There Are No Rules Where Big Ange is concerned.  Avery should have learned a lesson.

Have been confused as to WHY Teri insisted they get married Right Away?  Why did she turn over every stone to facilitate it?  My only guess is she thought they could go home and immediately petition for Omar and at least they’d be in the US asap?  She jumped the gun.  Teri was so frantic about it all, she did zero research, but if she did she could have put the kibash on all of it....

[Spike]

16 minutes ago, Eme said:

Avery confronting Jesse is consistent with everything we’ve seen from her.  She’s stubborn and doesn’t listen to anyone.  She has strong opinions, which is fine, but she sure shuts down her Mom when she has contrary opinions.  She just bit off more than she could chew with Big Ange.  
Clearly she was taken aback by Big Ange and wasn’t able to respond in kind because There Are No Rules Where Big Ange is concerned.  Avery should have learned a lesson.

Have been confused as to WHY Teri insisted they get married Right Away?  Why did she turn over every stone to facilitate it?  My only guess is she thought they could go home and immediately petition for Omar and at least they’d be in the US asap?  She jumped the gun.  Teri was so frantic about it all, she did zero research, but if she did she could have put the kibash on all of it....

Teri kept repeating that she wasn’t going to miss her daughter’s wedding.  So I assume she thought it would happen after she left even in her absence and wanted to avoid that.  The funny part is there was nothing to miss as Avery wasn’t allowed to participate in the ceremony. 

[mochamajesty]

22 hours ago, blubld43 said:

And those dresses! Stacey was centimeters from double nip slips, and Darcey's dress was so heavily beaded I don't know how she was managing to sit down in it.  Not to mention the 6 inch heels on those S&M inspired shoes.

Not to mention the too high slit on Stacy’s dress. I held my breath when she sat down I thought she was gonna flash us.

Darcy, Alexis Carrington wants her dress back.

[FrancescaFiore]

I'm going to have to section this out by the couple in order to do justice to this bevy of messy drama.

Angela & Michael

Doomed from the jump. She's a hulking, pushy, loud bully who steamrolls over everyone in her path and he seems wholly uninterested in being in a real relationship. But I have to laugh every time she refers to her one shriveled-up, non-viable, dusty old egg as if it's her last hope. She doesn't even want to have another kid at 53+ & it really doesn't seem like Michael does, either. Only his mother seems to insist on being "given a grandchild." Newsflash, parents: your offspring's sole purpose on Earth is not to be an incubator for grandchildren you want. 

Avery & Omar

She strikes me as far too easily influenced by whoever she's in a relationship with. I got the impression that she's watched every season of this show and has some strong opinions about other people, which she's determined to express. I'm not sure how well that meshes with being the subservient, compliant Muslim wife she's expected to be. And for her to be even CONSIDERING going to Syria until Omar gets his Visa is beyond nuts. Especially now that the US has abandoned the Kurds and there's so much anger and resentment toward Americans there. 

Rebecca & Zied

Zied doesn't really seem emotionally invested to me. It's hard to tell if it's just a cultural difference, his personality or an emotional disconnect, but when he found out Rebecca was still married, he barely registered anger or hurt. He just said he was angry, but there was no sign of that in his actions. He calmly said, "I don't accept this." That struck me as odd, as did how quickly he forgave her. Sadly, I suspect this is another Mohamed/Danielle situation in the making. 

Tom & Darcey

This has been bugging me all season and I've gotta get it off my chest. Darcey is a dead ringer for the Janice Muppet.

On a more serious note, Darcey is an energy-suck, a bottomless pit of need. The amount of value she places on being a wife is borderline pathological. She appears to view marriage as just another thing she wants, like it's a handbag or a pair of boots. She seems to crave the STATUS more than the work and compromise required for any relationship to work, much more, a long-distance relationship. She's managing to suffocate Tom from across an ocean, and I think he's going to end up fleeing. And don't get me started about the sibling rivalry - those two are going to make a couple of psychotherapists very wealthy.

Tim & Whatsherface

I forget her name, but girl RUN! YOU IN DANGER! Tim. Is. Not. Into. Women. Being 39 is a feeble, laughable excuse. You don't travel halfway across the world NOT to get busy with a woman that beautiful.

Caesar

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. Maria was never for real. She lives off of men like it's her job BECAUSE IT IS.

That said, Caes, baby, bubbalah... STOP WITH THE PORN SHOP SEX TOYS! I dunno, maybe he and Maria had an off-camera discussion about her wanting him to bring edible underwear, but I'm going out on a limb and guessing that's not her style. I haven't seen that kind of stuff since I was in my early 20s, gettin' it on with my first real boyfriend. Neither Caesar nor Maria should be bringing novelties from Spencer Gifts into a mature relationship. Kink is great, but that's not kink. It's just gauche and unsophisticated. 

Benjamin & Akinyi

I was all about Ben until the margarita scene. She was having a great time and he had to crap on it. I think she's too funny and irreverent for him. She deserves someone who is less uptight. He seems to want to keep her under his thumb.

Jesse

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(gasp)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That scene with him talking about himself at a convalescent home, as if he's something for the octogenarians to aspire to. Just freaking pure comedy. I swear, I could hear the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme starting to play during that scene, when he was like, "I'll have handouts and there'll be a Q & A later," and the entire room looked baffled. 

Edited October 30, 2019 by FrancescaFiore

[nytonc]

10 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Oh she can, they are usually skin tight (think sausage casing), with ripped up slits in inappropriate places which pairs nicely with sky high knock off Loubitans...nothing about her says comfort, ever.

Wasn't this the first time they spoke live? Caesar said he has never face timed with Maria, only spoke on the phone or she pre recorded a video to send him a message?

I picture her backstage with a can of red spray paint. Instant Louboutins!

[nytonc]

6 hours ago, b2H said:

I have a church member who's currently living in UAE and teaching in the local school system.  She's in her second year there, went on a teachers' program, and while her family is still in the Twin Cities area, she seems very happy there and is doing very well.  Avery could very easily manage this.

BwaaaHahaha!!!!!!

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, b2H said:

Phone records are readily available to the most discerning eyes.  I notice no one did that research and display.

Like on Judge Judy, "You didn't bring them? Where did you think you were coming today, the beach?" 

4 hours ago, lovesnark said:

All snark aside, I don't believe Darcey has given any thought to, you know,  marriage.

Remember, both Darcey and Stacey have been down the aisle before. 

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

They always have shower footage on The Bachelor, so I guess it’s becoming a reality tv trope.

They also have it on "My 600 Pound Life"

[nytonc]

2 hours ago, b2H said:

I could suggest that TLC has asked her not to, in order to continue on the show.  There might even be something in the contract between Avery (and the others) and TLC that they can't sue for something like that.  The Bachelor franchise contracts have similar language.

I agree. There would have to be an assumed risk of assault, especially with the she-beast Huge Ange in the cast. Didn’t she assault Mahkul last season?

[nytonc]

Poor Darcy does not have a body for clothing of any type. She needs to lose some weight, ditch the DDD implants and cut her hair. Then maybe she could look half-way decent in simple tasteful clothing.

Who am I kidding?

[Cherrio]

1 hour ago, FrancescaFiore said:

I haven't seen that kind of stuff since I was in my early 20s, gettin' it on with my first real boyfriend. Neither Caesar nor Maria should be bringing novelties from Spencer Gifts into a mature relationship

I bet the expiration date on that stuff is 1995.