S14.E09: Miracle At Miravel

[LibertarianSlut]

This entire episode left me with my jaw on the floor, that, by the time Braunwynn pulled out a lactating breast at the dinner table and Kelly milked it, I wasn't even fazed.  It was like the Milgram Experiment--proving that people will accept horrific things as normal if they're exposed to it enough.  Holy shit.

There was one point at which my TV actually shut itself off, which it's never done before, I swear to God--it was during the Vicki/Kelly make up when Kelly was saying that Vicki ruined Jolie, and they were clasped around each other like they'd been rescued at sea, and someone else's hand was in there clutching for support and I was like WTF, and my TV shut off, so I missed anything that happened after that and before the commercial, but still, so much to say...

Gina--she, somehow, by default, managed to be the voice of reason for the back half of the episode.  If we learned from RHNYC that life is not a caberet, can we please learn from RHOC that not every dwelling is a damn casita?  They're villas, bitch!  Live it, learn it.  I thought it was funny that by the end of the episode, even the chyron people just gave up and started labeling the villas as casitas.

Vicki--ugh, you heard gossip about Kelly at the hair salon?  Real Housewives of New Jersey season one called, and it wants its storyline back.  She did not hear shit at a salon.  Just shut it.  

Emily--she really was running around like a bone collector with the Vicki info, and it reflects poorly on her.  As soon as Kelly walked in, Emily is like, "you want to hear what she said about you?  You want to hear what she said about you??"  Like, it's not a good look to be an obvious stirrer like that.  Just take her aside and say, "as your friend, I think you should know Vicki said x,y and z."  Be a little bit more subtle with that shit, is all I'm saying.  I agreed with Emily that the knives were "not a good liability."  I really thought someone was going to stab themselves at some point.  I just thought it was strange phrasing coming from a lawyer.  In the law, a liability is a bad thing, so it's redundant to say something is not a good liability.  Emily has said quite a few things now that have seemed strange coming from a lawyer.  

Kelly--what hasn't been said about her insanity already?  I will just add that it's really not healthy as a mother to go around labeling women as farm animals.  Her daughter will pick up on that.  Stop attacking Vicki for looking like a pig (I would say, don't respond at all; that's about the worst thing you can do to her), but if you must attack, go off of her character.  When I was much younger than Jolie, my mom was looking at pictures and said a family friend looked like "a big, fat horse" apropos of nothing, and I still remember it, so go easy on the looks hun.

Tamra--why does everyone keep demanding Tamra take a side?  Have they met Tamra?  She is on the side of evil and confusion and feuds and jabs.  She's never going to be on any human person's side.  She's not capable of it, so give up on the dream already.  And, girl, that scene with the beekeeper was really uncomfortable.  It's actually workplace harassment, and uncomfortable for Shannon with the way Tamra kept at it.  Really disgusting.

Braunwynn--for reasons people have put so much more eloquently than I ever could, she may, in fact, be the trashiest Housewife.  It's a trashiness that sneaks up on you.  And I noticed Tamra noticing too.  I could see the wheels turning in her rodent brain that she may have competition in being a slob for camera time, and I'm not sure she liked it.  This could get interesting.

Shannon was well-behaved this episode.  Maybe she should get that 'level of concussion' more often?

Random aside:  When did "Dr Reagan" become "Brian"?  Was it right after we were saturated with info about Dr Reagan and his practice and its location in the first few episodes?  Is it ethical for Bravo to air this in addition to commercials?  Talk about redundancy...

I love how Gina keeps explaining to Emily why she is suddenly hanging with Tamra and Shannon right now, and instead of saying the truth, which is "money and status," she says, "I can tawk to them.  We, like, have things in common."  Every single time, I can tell she wants to say "they have also experienced divorce," and she always stops herself just in time to remember that Emily too has been divorced.  How selfish of Emily--First she goes to Vegas for three whole days, and now she is also a divorcee?  Doesn't she know this is something Gina wants to share exclusively with Tamra and Shannon??  The nerve of some people!

[Mar]

14 hours ago, 65mickey said:

Shannon need to stop with that high pitched screaming. She thinks it's funny. It's not. 

True.  And Tamra needs to stop with her vulgar mouth and behavior. She thinks it’s funny. It’s not. And Vicky needs to stop with her mannerisms. She thinks it’s funny. It’s not. And Gina needs to stop with her not – witty remarks in her talking  heads. She thinks it’s funny. It’s not. 

The only ones I can even tolerate are Emily, with whom I don’t have any issues, and for some odd reason, Kelly. She is often out of control, but I really feel like she at least is being real. Her behavior can be atrocious and she is unaware of how her on-air antics affect her daughter, but  have a soft spot for her...it is a very small soft spot. 

 Shannon, who I used to like, and Tamra and Vicky are clearly faking it in ways that they think will help them keep their oranges. I can’t fathom why Tamra or Shannon would have ever forgiven Vicky and it makes me dislike them all the more. 

 And all of this makes me dislike the show more and more and more and more. 

[LibertarianSlut]

Did we talk about their outfits at dinner yet?  Pretty hideous.

Tamra looked good in the champagne-colored shirt and jeans.  It's without the clothes that, Houston, we have a problem.

Peter, Paul and...Braunwynn?

Emily--the crochet look where I can literally see your ass--not just the outline, but the ass itself--is maybe not the best look?  Also, since her midsection is not at its tightest right now, maybe a less clingy dress would be a solid choice

Vicki--what cruise ship were you gearing up to captain in a white blazer with brass buttons??

Shannon--I think her weight loss is awesome, and I liked the skinny jean, but for the moment a super form-fitting top is not as flattering as a shirt like Tamra's might be

Kelly didn't look bad (loved that color on her), just cheap, as usual.  Does she own anything that is not a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen?

Gina--I have seen you in thigh-high boots and a pencil skirt with a turtle neck approximately 34,000 times already.  You're the youngest one in the group, and you dress like early 90s Madonna emerging from the NYC subway on laundry day.

I thought these people had high budgets?  Kelly has a $30k AmEx bill?  And this is how they turn out?  The leggings were better!

[ghoulina]

13 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Just bees?

Well, I'm not really into tequila or meditation. 

4 hours ago, nytonc said:

She explained it was “the  schematics”? More WTF?!?

Why hasn’t Kelly sued Vicki for spreading  these malicious rumors? Is it because truth is a defense?

so many questions...

I think she meant to say, "symantecs". She was asked WHO she heard it from. And Vicki just waved it off, as if that part didn't matter. 

2 hours ago, Jel said:

What is Brawnwyn's deal anyway? Desperate to be noticed or desperate to be included? 

Both?

The threesomes in marriage thing always reeks of some kind of desperation to me. If it works for you, cool, but I'm never really convinced it actually does. B seems like someone who paints an overly rosy picture. Color me skeptical.

I agree. It's odd. It's one thing if you're polyamorous. But the whole, "We just pick a girl to join us every few years" is bizarre. And it's often the wife trying to act so "Cool Girl" about it, but I have to wonder if she's super insecure deep down. 

Brownwind just comes off as trying too hard. In every respect. At first I thought she might be really authentic and refreshing, but I'm finding her quite the opposite. 

[kicksave]

This resort is boring...no horseback trail rides? No spa treatments? Beehive lessons? Really? No wonder why they're drinking so much...

Kelly is unhinged. She is acting like a fourteen year old brat. Yes, Vicki spread some vicious rumors that hurt both you and Jolie so fight like any mature adult woman would...hit her with a cease and desist. That would shut her up...legal problems that fuel public opinions of her would really hurt her insurance business. I'm actually shocked that she is still in business after all these years on this show. Her behavior and crooked cancer scam scheme with Brooks should have made people think twice about trusting her as a businesswoman. But Kelly acts with her emotions not with logic or a long game...bites the bait every time.

And her nude swimming while talking to her adolescent daughter was just vile. Really Kelly? It isn't bad enough that you brag about getting "pounded" by your boyfriend on camera that you have to continue the trashiness by swimming nude while telling your daughter on the phone that you are doing so? Jolie should be living with her Dad so Kelly can bang her boyfriends in private and not involve her teenage daughter in her sex life and adult problems that she has with other adults...she could also use some psychotherapy for her anger issues and bully behavior.

[Natalie68]

16 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Showing lactation at the dinner table...NOOOOOOOO

WTF was that all about?  Come on people.  I am so tired of Tamra showing those boobs.  Are they a tax write off if they are part of her 'job'?  They look horrible and we have seen them every.fucking.season.  Brown wind, I don't want to hear your sexcapades.  Neither do your 1000 kids.  Tamra may ON CAMERA tell Vicki to stop telling the Kelly rumors she hasn't seen herself but I think this was totally planned.  Good cop/Bad Cop.  I realized last night the only series I like anyone anymore is NY.  I loathe everyone on all the other cities.  So why AM I watching???

[Mindthinkr]

2 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

So why AM I watching???

Habit and to snark with us. 

[Hiyo]

Quote

hit her with a cease and desist

That never works, you need a cyst and deceased.

Edited October 2, 2019 by Hiyo

[MaggieG]

Oh Icky. She had another great face when Emily and Tamra were asking where she heard the Kelly not being allowed at Jolie's school rumor. The only way I can describe it is she was blubbering.

Of all the women in this group to have a threesome with, Tamra would not be my first choice. 

[nightmeri]

Have not read everyone’s clever and compelling posts yet   Just came on to say that Brainwin’s (autocorrect and leaving it) thirst was palpable 

[MrsPatrickBateman]

I honestly don't believe Braunwynn and her husband have threesomes.

Unless the third is a guy and Braunwynn is not involved.

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

The best thing about this episode? That Kelly is astute enough to realize that Tamra is playing both sides of the fence like the slithering demon snake that she is. Let's see how this plays out. If Kelly can focus her crazy and finally, finally be the one to take on and down Tamra, as far as I am concerned she will not only be the Queen of all Housewives but also 

The One

and The Prince that was Promised

I have no idea what Vicki meant by repeatedly saying "I surrender." Where does that come from and what does it mean?

I saw somewhere else them being referred to as the 'tres brujas' (witches) and I LOLed!

OMG a Jesus Barbie sighting! I bet that means Emily will be back to being Tamra's mortal enemy. 
 

These bitches are getting real scary.  I’m used to a normal life.  I don’t know who’s the worst.  It’s a toss up between Kelly and Brownstone.

[thesupremediva1]

I always liked Alexis, but she's looking like a Virgin Mary sighting in previews after the past two weeks. She seems classy, sophisticated, and downright regal compared to these nitwits. It's really bad when Alexis is the only reason you're thinking of tuning in next week.

[KungFuBunny]

5 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Little Brownstone is just chock full of surprises, isn’t she?  Who knew?  What’s next ?  Her parents must be very proud.

I think both Braunwyn and Dr Deb need a beat down from Betsey Johnson.

First Dr Deb steals her hair and then Braunwyn steals her signature cartwheel.

As for Braunwyn discussing having threesomes for momentous occasions, was I the only one expecting her to say ...and you can read more in my upcoming book available for release on (insert date)?

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

And, girl, that scene with the beekeeper was really uncomfortable.  It's actually workplace harassment, and uncomfortable for Shannon with the way Tamra kept at it.  Really disgusting.

I will never get the love Shannon has for Tamra. Tamra is repulsive. Heather really liked Tamra, too. These two women are extremely wealthy and both came from wealth, didn't just marry in to it. They are educated women and have class so why they took such a liking to little wrong side of the tracks tacky Tamra I just don't understand.  

[dmeets]

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

Tamra may ON CAMERA tell Vicki to stop telling the Kelly rumors she hasn't seen herself but I think this was totally planned.  Good cop/Bad Cop. 

Absolutely. Tamra's the puppet, and eeeeeveryone else is the schematics.

... Or something like that.

Edited October 2, 2019 by dmeets

[Jel]

Kelly has two gears: regular and batshit crazy enraged. She's alright when she's regular, but her message gets lost when she's screaming and sweating and salivating and calling people cunts. 

She does make a lot of sense when she's not sweatily yelling. And she really does have Tamra's number.

I'm with you, Islandgal, in hoping she is The One.

[Natalie68]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

Habit and to snark with us. 

True dat!

[islandgal140]

1 hour ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Vicki--what cruise ship were you gearing up to captain in a white blazer with brass buttons??

I actually like when Vicki goes more business like in attire as opposed to dressing like a Kelly or Gina. It suits her figure and is age appropriate. The brass buttons were a bit much but overall I like the black pant and blouse with white jacket look on her. 

1 hour ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Gina--I have seen you in thigh-high boots and a pencil skirt with a turtle neck approximately 34,000 times already.  You're the youngest one in the group, and you dress like early 90s Madonna emerging from the NYC subway on laundry day.

Gina is so bridge and tunnel it hurts. Laundry day 90s Madonna is too good for her. More like she belongs in the SNL Night at the Roxbury sketch

Milf gets milked at dinner table by fellow HW has got to be a new milestone. My mouth was literally agape!

[Shellbell59]

18 hours ago, KungFuBunny said:

The ones I feel sorry for are the camera/sound crew.

I can forgive Braunwyn for her showing her lactating breast - this is the first time for her

What I can't forgive is Tamra and her fake boobs multiple appearances.

Same here...

old news...all of her...so 1990s girls gone wild...

sick of her making sure she mentions anal...kisses a girl...or talks about a girl crush...but most of all....

im sick of her making sure she’s facing cameras...whenever she has the chance to bare her many times worked over Frankenboobs!

Edited October 2, 2019 by Shellbell59

[IKnowRight]

22 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

I will never get the love Shannon has for Tamra. Tamra is repulsive. Heather really liked Tamra, too. These two women are extremely wealthy and both came from wealth, didn't just marry in to it. They are educated women and have class so why they took such a liking to little wrong side of the tracks tacky Tamra I just don't understand.  

Every season has proven, that those on the wrong side of Tamrat have a short shelf life on the show.  Ask Jeanna Keogh, Lynn, Alexis, Gretchen, Lizzie and other not ready for prime time women that were on that one season that were Lizzie’s friends.  (The brunette “udder ones”) 

Heather wouldn’t stand for Tamrat’s tricks.  Shannon was treated like dirt by Tamra her first season (the mental breakdown plot Tamra & Heather cooked up) and once Heather was gone, Shannon and Tamra started to have problems with Vicki.

It is all about survival and hanging onto the orange.  I think BW is trying to replace Tamra.

[bichonblitz]

4 minutes ago, IKnowRight said:

It is all about survival and hanging onto the orange.  I think BW is trying to replace Tamra.

Well, that will be interesting. Especially since both Tam and Shan said on WWHL how much they like BW and they think she is a great addition to the show. This was when the season first started airing. At the time, I thought BRAVO told them to say that on air. I'm curious to see if they still like her after the season is over. 

[Natalie68]

6 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Running out of ideas.  They’ve exhausted every storyline.  Time to call it a day.  Andy, are you there?

The only one they have not done yet is a scene like Bridesmaids food poisoning incident.  I am even hesitant to put it out there in case Tamra is reading here.

[Shellbell59]

I’d give my left boob (a big deal because to me cuz it’s my Dubrow reconstruction tit 😂)...

I would give it up for a RHOC scenario where Tamra is once again hammered by the cast and she scurries away from the poolside saying “I’m never going to speak to any of you again!”. Booo fucking hooo

 Please… Reality gods don’t forsake me!! Bwahaha 

Edited October 2, 2019 by Shellbell59

[LibertarianSlut]

48 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

I will never get the love Shannon has for Tamra. Tamra is repulsive. Heather really liked Tamra, too. These two women are extremely wealthy and both came from wealth, didn't just marry in to it. They are educated women and have class so why they took such a liking to little wrong side of the tracks tacky Tamra I just don't understand.  

Everyone comes on this show and loves Tamra.  It is uncanny.  Fourth season she and Vicki professed they would be "best friends forever" in Havasu.  Alexis came on and played tennis with her and they got along well initially in season five.  Season six, Peggy comes on, and though she gels with Vicki and Tamra, she says at the reunion that she is closer with Tamra.  Season six, Tamra and Gretchen pledged their love for each other, complete with friendship bracelets to seal the deal.  Season seven, Heather loves Tamra.  Laurie and Tamra are bosom buddies season eight.  Lizzie started off in Tamra's camp in season nine.  Shannon came around by season 10.  Meghan liked her.  Lizzie was the last one to have an open problem with her, IIRC, five seasons ago.

I think it's a combination of a lot of factors.  Tamra initially comes off unassuming, open, fun, funny and come-as-you-are.  She pretends to be a hail fellow well met.  Then she goes to phase two, where she starts talking mad shit to you about a third party, but it's said out of concern, and she drops it immediately.  By then you are in phase three with her where you realize you have said some pretty hair-raising shit to her yourself and maybe it's best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Suddenly--and she always knows when it's the right moment--the super levelheaded Tamra is at war with someone, someone who talked behind your back, and you jump on Tamra's side against the other person out of instinct.  Phase four.  Once you're at phase four, it's hard to get out.  You're so wrapped up in Tamra's lies and bullshit that you succumb, and you're at phase five--her prey.  

That's why people stay friends with Tamra--she's like the boyfriend from the Lifetime Movie who says "you'll never get out of this alive," when you try to break up with him.  People like Shannon and Heather just take it.  People like Meghan just keep their distance and kiss ass when it's necessary.  

No one has made it out alive so far (just ask Lizzie, as someone said).  But yet, I dream.  Last season I thought Gina was going to make a fourth quarter go at it.  Right now my hopes are pinned on Kelly.  It is at the point where I don't even want Tamra off the show--I want her there so I can see her get her comeuppance.  I will back anyone who takes her down.  I mean, this is Nene Leakes territory here.

She will probably wind up part of a Sociology 101 cirriculum and future college students will study her cult of personality.  Can you imagine?  "I failed Statistics, but I got an A in Tamra Barney Judge!"

[albarino]

My WTF moment of this episode was when Tamra was asking Vicki who told her Kelly wasn't allowed to step foot on her daughter's school and at one point Vicki said, "I don't spread rumors."   What?  I looked at my daughter who said the editors must really hate Vicki.  

All of the other stuff is just plain weird.  I shudder to think what Brown Wind's kids must be thinking.  She complains of not having a "normal" childhood; perhaps she should try to model one for her children?

[Hangin Out]

As soon as Vikie came back on, there was big trouble again.  I absolutely loathe her, sad to say.  She’s a habitual liar and troublemaker.    That scene of Kelly walking into the pool was porn.  That definitely was staged to see almost everything.  She was flipping the hair and posing.  I would never ask to use someone’s lipstick or let them use mine.  

Edited October 2, 2019 by Silver Bells

[IKnowRight]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Well, that will be interesting. Especially since both Tam and Shan said on WWHL how much they like BW and they think she is a great addition to the show. This was when the season first started airing. At the time, I thought BRAVO told them to say that on air. I'm curious to see if they still like her after the season is over. 

I dunno...Just a theory!  

Remember, BW was getting dirt from ex OC housewives before she came on the show?  Tamra called her out on that during the Los Angeles shopping trip. She was doing her homework. Now, she’s trying to win away the MILF trophy, so called sexiest mom of the OC Tamra.  I think she would like to steal the crown from Tamrat.  (Tamrat self proclaimed title her first season)

She’s definitely not the sweet stay at home mom she tried to portray herself as in the first few episodes.Ridiculing family pics with the matching white shirts, the traditional family thing as of late, then going all black and see thru, barely there bottoms?  That reminded me of Carlton.

Tamra will always be the divide and conquer Queen.  Which leads me to express how disappointed I am in Kelly.  If she could control her temper, she is the best candidate to take Tamrat out.  She should never have ticked off Shannon, and kept her on her side. When she pushes Shannon away, it makes the tres amigas a stronger unit. Kelly, watch your mouth, chill your crazy and call Tamra out.

Edited October 2, 2019 by IKnowRight

[IKnowRight]

4 minutes ago, IKnowRight said:

Edited October 2, 2019 by IKnowRight
Double post

[bichonblitz]

So is "I surrender" Vickie's new way of saying I'm Sorry? 

I had to laugh when Kelly (crying, of course) told Vicki she didn't mean what she said about calling her a pig. "I didn't mean it, I think you're pretty". Then Vicki to Kelly: " I think you're pretty,too." WTF with these women, are they in the 5th grade? With all the slander, hate and vitriol these two have been slinging at each other, when you get down to it all that matters is that they think each other is pretty? I can't with the OC.

[Shellbell59]

9 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Also Brianna’s children would be in an elementary school and Jolie would be in middle school by now if not a freshman in HS. Big age differences. 

I laughed when I saw Vicki’s mouth trying to form a word, but she couldn’t get her brain behind what to say. Stumbling. 

Hah! Love this...Victims Mouth always seems to have the appearance as if “stumbling”...not knowing how to respond....as in...

Reunion show:

V “shut your fat mouth Kelly!”

K “shut my fat mouth? Turn around and look in the mirror (fat ass)!”

V “I don’t do cocaine”

WTF

As for me? I Don’t do cocaine! But I can still turn around and see my fat ass in the mirror!

Stumbling mouth agape...catching flies...it might be better than her non sequitur retorts

just sayin...

oh...and Emily told Kelly the truth and what she heard you say...Icki!!! You repeat hearsay (if you’re not making it up)...

fuck all the desperate howives of OC!

now Buttwind has had threesomes? 

Omg...Tammy Sue only talks about anal to be cool (in her mind)!

Shannon was right “Tamara you have competition ... you have competition Tamra!”

Tamra is shitting twinkies and anal bead!!! 😖

...lawd knows what she’s going to pull out of her ass next to be “current” (aka 90s girls gone wild...so old).

Oh...OT...but Jolie I think is middle schooler...but it reminded me...

when Dubrow fixed my crushed boob...I stayed near Jamboree and had to go to CVS near Corona Del Mar high school...

i was in line and looked up...to se MICHAEL!!! Hahaha 😂 I knew the face but couldn’t place it and blurted out “I KNOW YOU”...then it was my time at cashier and I left to go to a Ralph’s next door where I put 2 and 2 together....couldn’t believe it...

when I walked out....there he was walking in with Jolie...so I said

“Hey!!! I figured it out! You have a doppelgänger in Northern California...my brother in law George!”

He said...”Ohhh...wow!”... as I scooted on by...phew! 🥴

I didn’t want to further embarrass Jolie...ya know?...and recognize them from the show...poor girl has had enough of what her parents signed on for...

and he always did remind me of George!

😂

Edited October 2, 2019 by Shellbell59

[Mar]

https://allaboutthetea.com/2019/10/02/kelly-dodd-banned-from-daughters-school-over-fight/

yikes

[Chit Chat]

For Braunwynn.  Sung to a condensed version of  'Memories from Cats.'

Mammaries all afloat in the hot tub
I can smile at my titties
They're a beautiful sight
I remember
The time I could milk them both dry
Let the mammaries flow again

Mammaries I must put them on display
So the girls will caress them
And they'll never sag down
When the dawn comes
We will laugh at the fondling
And a new day will begin

Touch me it's so easy to feel me
As we sit at the table
And we stare at my chest
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
As my boobies start flowing again. 

[Hangin Out]

15 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

Well I got the gal wrong from last episode of who was topless in the pool besides Tamra, it was not prude Gina but racy lactating threesome Braunwynne.  My mistake.

Me too.  I was busy posting and missed a lot of parts.  I watched again today and was horrified with the whole episode.  I can’t stand all of them actually. Shannon’s ex must be thankful he’s done with her big mouth.  The dinner scene with Brownstone and Kelly was awful.  How many more episodes left?   To boot, I loved when Kelly said she had a water jet on her virgina.  Very classy.  I’m pretty sure she was still talking with her daughter.

Edited October 2, 2019 by Silver Bells

[Shellbell59]

6 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

That’s why I love these boards.  You learn a lot, can ask what you want, discuss things you can’t otherwise, and nobody knows your name.  It’s great and very informative.  

Right?...I agree...

i also used same line as a retort to having a threesome inquiry ...”if I can choose the guy”... true...shut it down REAL QUICK.

I also said...”if you ever fuck around ...remember this...I don’t get mad...I get even..and I think I’d have a pretty easy shot at doing so...don’t forget that”

Both worked btw...quite sure of it...😉

[Shellbell59]

6 hours ago, Juliegirlj said:

Tamra kind of looks like a naked Barbie doll when she’s naked- not remotely human or feminine at all. 

Hah! Barbie...trying to be Skipper (Gina...”how did I become Skipper...I’m BARBIE!”..after being called ‘little sister’ by Buttwind)

love your post!

[Marley]

Not that it matters but I feel like the 3rd in Braunwyns’ threesome is a guy at times. I have pretty good gaydar and her husband seems gay. Nice for her kids to know all about their parents sex life just because their mom is a fake white. She’s too try hard for me.

Vicki is the worst. There’s nothing even remotely entertaining about her. Atleast she used to fall or get hit with things lol. She just makes shit up.

Kelly in the pool naked FaceTiming her daughter was gross tho. Like wtf she can’t wait til she’s out and has a robe on?

Shannon’s yelling is not funny or cute anymore and stop trying to make tres amigas happen it’s stupid.

[Shellbell59]

5 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

This entire episode left me with my jaw on the floor, that, by the time Braunwynn pulled out a lactating breast at the dinner table and Kelly milked it, I wasn't even fazed.  It was like the Milgram Experiment--proving that people will accept horrific things as normal if they're exposed to it enough.  Holy shit.

There was one point at which my TV actually shut itself off, which it's never done before, I swear to God--it was during the Vicki/Kelly make up when Kelly was saying that Vicki ruined Jolie, and they were clasped around each other like they'd been rescued at sea, and someone else's hand was in there clutching for support and I was like WTF, and my TV shut off, so I missed anything that happened after that and before the commercial, but still, so much to say...

Gina--she, somehow, by default, managed to be the voice of reason for the back half of the episode.  If we learned from RHNYC that life is not a caberet, can we please learn from RHOC that not every dwelling is a damn casita?  They're villas, bitch!  Live it, learn it.  I thought it was funny that by the end of the episode, even the chyron people just gave up and started labeling the villas as casitas.

Vicki--ugh, you heard gossip about Kelly at the hair salon?  Real Housewives of New Jersey season one called, and it wants its storyline back.  She did not hear shit at a salon.  Just shut it.  

Emily--she really was running around like a bone collector with the Vicki info, and it reflects poorly on her.  As soon as Kelly walked in, Emily is like, "you want to hear what she said about you?  You want to hear what she said about you??"  Like, it's not a good look to be an obvious stirrer like that.  Just take her aside and say, "as your friend, I think you should know Vicki said x,y and z."  Be a little bit more subtle with that shit, is all I'm saying.  I agreed with Emily that the knives were "not a good liability."  I really thought someone was going to stab themselves at some point.  I just thought it was strange phrasing coming from a lawyer.  In the law, a liability is a bad thing, so it's redundant to say something is not a good liability.  Emily has said quite a few things now that have seemed strange coming from a lawyer.  

Kelly--what hasn't been said about her insanity already?  I will just add that it's really not healthy as a mother to go around labeling women as farm animals.  Her daughter will pick up on that.  Stop attacking Vicki for looking like a pig (I would say, don't respond at all; that's about the worst thing you can do to her), but if you must attack, go off of her character.  When I was much younger than Jolie, my mom was looking at pictures and said a family friend looked like "a big, fat horse" apropos of nothing, and I still remember it, so go easy on the looks hun.

Tamra--why does everyone keep demanding Tamra take a side?  Have they met Tamra?  She is on the side of evil and confusion and feuds and jabs.  She's never going to be on any human person's side.  She's not capable of it, so give up on the dream already.  And, girl, that scene with the beekeeper was really uncomfortable.  It's actually workplace harassment, and uncomfortable for Shannon with the way Tamra kept at it.  Really disgusting.

Braunwynn--for reasons people have put so much more eloquently than I ever could, she may, in fact, be the trashiest Housewife.  It's a trashiness that sneaks up on you.  And I noticed Tamra noticing too.  I could see the wheels turning in her rodent brain that she may have competition in being a slob for camera time, and I'm not sure she liked it.  This could get interesting.

Shannon was well-behaved this episode.  Maybe she should get that 'level of concussion' more often?

Random aside:  When did "Dr Reagan" become "Brian"?  Was it right after we were saturated with info about Dr Reagan and his practice and its location in the first few episodes?  Is it ethical for Bravo to air this in addition to commercials?  Talk about redundancy...

I love how Gina keeps explaining to Emily why she is suddenly hanging with Tamra and Shannon right now, and instead of saying the truth, which is "money and status," she says, "I can tawk to them.  We, like, have things in common."  Every single time, I can tell she wants to say "they have also experienced divorce," and she always stops herself just in time to remember that Emily too has been divorced.  How selfish of Emily--First she goes to Vegas for three whole days, and now she is also a divorcee?  Doesn't she know this is something Gina wants to share exclusively with Tamra and Shannon??  The nerve of some people!

Omg...PREACH!

and BTW...you should send this to Vulture...you’d become there newest best recap correspondent...

 But I’m sure you have better things going for you… LOL 

Well said

Edited October 2, 2019 by Shellbell59

[LibertarianSlut]

 I don't know it for a fact, I just know it's true:  Somewhere, in a county to the north, Lisa Rinna is racking her brain as to how she can capitalize on Vicki's storyline that she heard a rumor from her hairdresser. 

[FancyNancy]

19 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Was Borewind the one with the huge tatt on her lower back? I thought that was Tams getting in to the pool. Ugly AF who ever it was. 

Why is Tams so infatuated with her own boobies? It only took her like 4 sugeries to get them right. 

Shannon, give up the Tres Amiga's screeching. Nobody cares. Not even your besties. That ship has sailed. 

Those are right?!?!

[endure]

22 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Why is Kelly telling her daughter about her adult problems? Kids have their own problems Kelly shouldn’t be dumping her problems on this poor kid.

Not to mention putting it out there in tv land, such horrible parenting 

[Mu Shu]

1 hour ago, Mar said:

https://allaboutthetea.com/2019/10/02/kelly-dodd-banned-from-daughters-school-over-fight/

yikes

I’m sorry, but if Kelly really left her with internal injuries there is no way this thirsty Heidi wouldn’t have sued and won.

[ladypoodle]

Imagine being Bronwyns 19 year old kid and watching that episode and *VISUALISING* what your mother just said and did. Mortified for those kids. Low self esteem from her mother's failings probably means she thinks she needs to entertain and spice things up with her husband or he'll leave, and he's a jerk for going along with it. I don't get any sense that she's doing that stuff for herself at all. She wants to please and be loved.

I think if you're going to be ultra sporty like Tamra and bronwyn you need to accept your fake bewbs will look terrible. Minimal fat and they just look like rockmelon halves.

Unpopular opinion but i actually think kelly pulls off a sexy and womanly look. Her clothes are revealing but she looks good and polished.

[endure]

21 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Showing lactation at the dinner table...NOOOOOOOO

She also used someone else's lipstick, just no common sense but I guess nothing should come as a surprise, she brought herself up 😳

[Shellbell59]

4 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I will never get the love Shannon has for Tamra. Tamra is repulsive. Heather really liked Tamra, too. These two women are extremely wealthy and both came from wealth, didn't just marry in to it. They are educated women and have class so why they took such a liking to little wrong side of the tracks tacky Tamra I just don't understand.  

I agree...and as somebody posted earlier (sorry not sure who...) Tamra hits on guys all the time “on Shannon’s behalf”.

as for me? I believe Tamra has no core feeling for anything other than her sacred Orange 🍊.

she does the flirting for the sake of flirting...bringing attention to herself...feeding her ego...and it never has anything to do with Shannon.

Edited October 2, 2019 by Shellbell59

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

So is "I surrender" Vickie's new way of saying I'm Sorry? 

I had to laugh when Kelly (crying, of course) told Vicki she didn't mean what she said about calling her a pig. "I didn't mean it, I think you're pretty". Then Vicki to Kelly: " I think you're pretty,too." WTF with these women, are they in the 5th grade? With all the slander, hate and vitriol these two have been slinging at each other, when you get down to it all that matters is that they think each other is pretty? I can't with the OC.

In that scene, Vikie’s face looked old.  Maybe it was the lighting, but her cheeks looked like they were falling down.  And she just had the full face lift?  She better get her money back.

[IKnowRight]

12 minutes ago, endure said:

She also used someone else's lipstick, just no common sense but I guess nothing should come as a surprise, she brought herself up 😳

Kelly commenting earlier on her massive American Express bill...then talks about why is lipstick so expensive...Kelly, you don’t HAVE to buy Tom Ford for $50 a pop!  I endulge on the high end make up, but not every single lipstick has to be TF or Chanel.  Lots of lower priced designer brands if she wants, Charlotte Tilbury, MAC, NARS, etc. She better have invested most of her divorce settlement, beyond the gluten free water product, or she will be bankrupt by the time she’s 55!

[SweetieDarling]

3 hours ago, albarino said:

My WTF moment of this episode was when Tamra was asking Vicki who told her Kelly wasn't allowed to step foot on her daughter's school and at one point Vicki said, "I don't spread rumors."   What?  I looked at my daughter who said the editors must really hate Vicki.  

All of the other stuff is just plain weird.  I shudder to think what Brown Wind's kids must be thinking.  She complains of not having a "normal" childhood; perhaps she should try to model one for her children?

Right? You'd think, what with her having 7 kids, that she'd want to be around to parent them, and give them what she was missing from her own childhood. Well, I'd think that, but I'm weird. Instead she hires a nanny and lives almost as selfish a life as her mother. Baby steps,... I guess?

[Hangin Out]

4 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

True dat!

Well, I’ve learned a lot from this crew ... how to drink alcohol all day long, Botox and fillers, fake boobs, threesomes, dress like sluts, bj’s and boning.  That’s about all a woman needs to know.  Poor Eddy.

[Shellbell59]

4 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Everyone comes on this show and loves Tamra.  It is uncanny.  Fourth season she and Vicki professed they would be "best friends forever" in Havasu.  Alexis came on and played tennis with her and they got along well initially in season five.  Season six, Peggy comes on, and though she gels with Vicki and Tamra, she says at the reunion that she is closer with Tamra.  Season six, Tamra and Gretchen pledged their love for each other, complete with friendship bracelets to seal the deal.  Season seven, Heather loves Tamra.  Laurie and Tamra are bosom buddies season eight.  Lizzie started off in Tamra's camp in season nine.  Shannon came around by season 10.  Meghan liked her.  Lizzie was the last one to have an open problem with her, IIRC, five seasons ago.

I think it's a combination of a lot of factors.  Tamra initially comes off unassuming, open, fun, funny and come-as-you-are.  She pretends to be a hail fellow well met.  Then she goes to phase two, where she starts talking mad shit to you about a third party, but it's said out of concern, and she drops it immediately.  By then you are in phase three with her where you realize you have said some pretty hair-raising shit to her yourself and maybe it's best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Suddenly--and she always knows when it's the right moment--the super levelheaded Tamra is at war with someone, someone who talked behind your back, and you jump on Tamra's side against the other person out of instinct.  Phase four.  Once you're at phase four, it's hard to get out.  You're so wrapped up in Tamra's lies and bullshit that you succumb, and you're at phase five--her prey.  

That's why people stay friends with Tamra--she's like the boyfriend from the Lifetime Movie who says "you'll never get out of this alive," when you try to break up with him.  People like Shannon and Heather just take it.  People like Meghan just keep their distance and kiss ass when it's necessary.  

No one has made it out alive so far (just ask Lizzie, as someone said).  But yet, I dream.  Last season I thought Gina was going to make a fourth quarter go at it.  Right now my hopes are pinned on Kelly.  It is at the point where I don't even want Tamra off the show--I want her there so I can see her get her comeuppance.  I will back anyone who takes her down.  I mean, this is Nene Leakes territory here.

She will probably wind up part of a Sociology 101 cirriculum and future college students will study her cult of personality.  Can you imagine?  "I failed Statistics, but I got an A in Tamra Barney Judge!"

Spot on...again...

Tamra Judge=Psych class..

or her whole persona is basically COS in a nutshell.

i don’t want to be deleted (been deleted for less)...but

Churcho 

fScient

ology

Edited October 3, 2019 by Shellbell59