S14.E02: (Not So Happy) Housewarming

[Starlight925]

8 hours ago, sasha206 said:

He has always pinged my gaydar and his parents are Mormon right?  I think Emily is his beard (not sure if she knows it).  Maybe he's tired of the charade of a marriage?

1 hour ago, HelloOutThere said:

- As a gay man, Shane 10000% pings my gaydar.  

In sort of related news, the Mormon father of kidnap survivor Elizabeth Smart has come out:

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ed-smart-father-kidnapping-survivor-142218423.html

Relevant in light of Shane's possible charade.  I hate rumors like this, and I hate even more that one feels such a need to hide one's true self, but I can see this in Shane.

[Shellbell59]

3 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

I can date myself even MORE -- I washed my face with pHisohex every night and used Noxzema as a night cream AND a moisturizer.  

Dr. Don Rose. 

Matthews TV and Stereo!  

Haha pHisohex and Noxzema

(recently purchased a smal Noxzema just because I wanted to “Smell” it again!!! 😉

Yes!!!! Dr Donald D. Rose!!!! 🎼kay EFF arrr CEEE!  Top of the hill… Daly City 🎼!!! Hahaha 

Then came FM (and Steely Dan)

Ooh...on Sunday afternoon didn’t they have the Dr. Dimento Show....?

”I’m my own Grampa”... “Dead Puppies Aren’t Much Fun”.....so bizarre 😆

thanks again for the memories 😉

[Carolina Girl]

2 minutes ago, Shellbell59 said:

Then came FM (and Steely Dan)

They had me with "Reelin' in the Years!"

[Sew Sumi]

18 minutes ago, Shellbell59 said:

Haha pHisohex and Noxzema

(recently purchased a smal Noxzema just because I wanted to “Smell” it again!!! 😉

Yes!!!! Dr Donald D. Rose!!!! 🎼kay EFF arrr CEEE!  Top of the hill… Daly City 🎼!!! Hahaha 

Then came FM (and Steely Dan)

Ooh...on Sunday afternoon didn’t they have the Dr. Dimento Show....?

”I’m my own Grampa”... “Dead Puppies Aren’t Much Fun”.....so bizarre 😆

thanks again for the memories 😉

Dr. Demento was on KFOG.

[LibertarianSlut]

4 minutes ago, Sterling said:

But were you rude and dismissive of your family during your time studying?  Did you act like a complete a-hole?

I have many family members and friends who have taken (and passed) the bar.  Yes, they all require complete solitude, but no, not one of them ever treated anyone as disgracefully as Shane did.

They would excuse themselves early from gatherings, or decline altogether, but politely.  

Why was it so bad that they tried to FaceTime him?  Couldn't he have just not answered, and texted that he'd call them later?  Or couldn't he have answered, and politely said, "Hi, Happy Birthday, love you all, see you soon!"  There are alternatives to the way in which he responded.

Every. Single. Friend/Family member who took the bar (or medical exams, similar stress) behaved with dignity and politeness.  Not ONE behaved as Shane did.

My mother went back to college when I was 12.  She studied relentlessly, graduating with a 4.0 and going on to write a book.  Not once did she dismiss us in such a rude manner.  Not once.

I find Shane's behavior despicable.

I thought about whether Shane should have just shut his phone off altogether after I posted (slow day, what can I say?).  And, it really depends what Shane said to his family.  If he told them, "I will not be attending this party you're filming.  I will not be available.  Please don't contact me unless there's an emergency," I can see him being very, very annoyed about the distraction.

I was single for both bars, so I could just shut off my phone, but Shane has children, so he may have put his phone on silent for everyone except Emily for family-related emergencies, and if she violated that just because she was being thoughless, yes, I would understand why Shane would react that way.  Didn't he just say, basically, "stop calling me; this is annoying?"  I mean, it's not like he said, "bitch, lose my number!"

I was in a stressful situation on Wednesday (not as stressful as the bar!) and i was on the phone with my husband, and he popped off, saying he was going to react stupidly to a person giving me problems and I said, "calm down!"  And he said, "you calm down!  Goodbye" and we hung up and I just texted him that was hurtful and he texted me back that he was sorry.  I don't think spouses being short with each other on the phone makes someone a demon or an asshole.

I think people have to draw boundaries, and if I told someone not to call me during a party and they did anyway, I would not be the bigger person and break down to wish my parents a happy birthday, because indulging someone when they cross your boundaries incentivizes them to continue to do it.  If I'm Shane, they're my parents, and I'm not going to be emotionally blackmailed into wishing them happy birthday by my wife who has questionable motives (trying to portray an intact marriage for the cameras) in that moment.  He can honor and respect them at a time mutually agreed-upon by all. 

The reason I'm assuming Shane set out these boundaries in advance and Emily breached them is just from a totality of the circumstances--Shane seems logical, and like a planner (to a fault) and Emily seems...silly.  So that's why I'm giving Shane the benefit of the doubt.

Because I was single when I took the FL and NY bars, I can't really compare myself to Shane.  Everyone who wasn't studying with me or teaching me completely left me alone because they knew how important it was.  Everyone in my life who was annoying actually stopped being annoying for those two sets of two months, so I never had to be an asshole.  (My mom--who is not exactly a peach; she told me off on the morning of my wedding because I wouldn't repeat info I'd already given my sister--gave me complete space.  Hey, maybe I should take another bar!). Would I have theoretically been an asshole to my family if they were not respecting my boundaries?  Definitely.  They drew first blood.  

I think he's studying, because he's got to be humiliated--his wife passed and he failed several times?!?!  God, that sucks.  I freaked out when all of my friends except me passed the driver's license test!  I just really hope that a man with an ex-wife, a wife and five kids really thought this over and had open discussions and communication prior to undertaking this endeavor.  Why do I have the feeling, though, that if Shane said to Emily, "babe, I've failed a bunch of times.  I don't think it's worth the sacrifice.  Why don't we move back to Utah where we can both practice law?  Why don't I refrain from trying to become a lawyer in the state of California for the good of our families?"  I feel like the little weasel would have been slapped into next Tuesday if he'd said either of these things, but now everyone's giving him a hard time because he's trying to do what everyone wants?  

Even if Shane isn't studying, you still have to respect your partners' boundaries IMO.  Sometimes my husband has long bi-coastal telephone conversations, and he'll tell me in advance when he's going to have one, and I would never think to call or text him during that time, even if I'm bored.  It's just freaking disrespectful.

Sorry I stand alone on this.  And I don't want to exaggerate how hard the bar is.  You definitely have downtime.  You can still go to parties in the beginning, and have a few cocktails at night toward the end.  But you have got to be selfish and plan your time.  And your family needs to support you, or the situation is going to be toxic.  JMO.

[Shellbell59]

5 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Dr. Demento was on KFOG.

👍THANK YOU! 

[Starlight925]

4 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Sorry I stand alone on this.  And I don't want to exaggerate how hard the bar is.  You definitely have downtime.  You can still go to parties in the beginning, and have a few cocktails at night toward the end.  But you have got to be selfish and plan your time.  And your family needs to support you, or the situation is going to be toxic.  JMO.

We will have to agree to disagree.  There is no excuse, IMHO, to be flat-out rude and disrespectful.  

I get how hard the bar is.  When my brother took it, his wife left him completely as alone as he needed to be, but not once did he pop off or act rude.  

Shane was no different than the Shane of seasons past, dismissive and rude to his wife.  Why Emily puts up with it is another matter entirely.  I wouldn't.

[Stats Queen]

5 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I am going to go a little left on the Emily topic, and feel free to chuck oranges at my head, but...I'm on Shane's side.  I took two bars (passed both), and I only say this because it's relevant--you need complete fucking solitude in order to study and pass.  You need whatever you need. 

I concur. Studying for my doctoral comps was just like this. I would study all day and when my husband got home from work I couldn’t make a complete sentence because my brain was fried. 

One Saturday I had been studying personality all day (I’m an Organizational Psychologist) and took a break. My husband and I were watching the Brady Bunch, The E! True Hollywood story. They were showing the Wesson Oil commercial the Florence Henderson did (For those of you who are old enough to remember).

She sang a song that said do you have Wessonality. I said, “did they test that as a latent construct?” My husband thought I was making a deliberate joke, looked at me and realized that I was serious and said “I will be so glad when these comps are over”. 

[JKL845]

58 minutes ago, KungFuBunny said:

Bunny observation:

At the dinner for the in-laws, Emily tries Facetiming Shane and he doesn't pick up. Was I the only one who thought it was strange for Emily's friend, the cake maker, who obviously has never met Perry goes off and calls Shane and reaches him when Emily had just called him and he didn't pick up?

I could be remembering it wrong but I thought Shane was calling Emily's phone back and she had left it on the table. Her friend saw that it was Shane and picked it up to give it to Emily. 

[biakbiak]

36 minutes ago, JKL845 said:

I could be remembering it wrong but I thought Shane was calling Emily's phone back and she had left it on the table. Her friend saw that it was Shane and picked it up to give it to Emily. 

Yes it was Emily’s phone.

[Gem 10]

13 hours ago, chlban said:

I am 64. My "mom" had "lost" my birth certificate and had died before I sent to the state for a copy. Which was not on file. Long, long story shot, I was looking under the wrong last name. My much older "half sister" was actually my biological mother, my "mom" was my grandmother. And yes, I learned this type of deception was not rare.

I am so sorry, but the greatest thing was that you were born and loved by both.  It was not rare.

Edited August 17, 2019 by Gem 10

[KungFuBunny]

On 8/16/2019 at 7:21 PM, JKL845 said:

I could be remembering it wrong but I thought Shane was calling Emily's phone back and she had left it on the table. Her friend saw that it was Shane and picked it up to give it to Emily. 

On 8/16/2019 at 7:58 PM, biakbiak said:

Yes it was Emily’s phone.

Oops my bad... apology to Emily's cake maker friend.

So who was Shane complaining about being hounded and harassed from all sides? We only see the one call from Emily.

I wonder how "devout" "observant" Shane is in his religion. Does he take time off from studying to go to church services? I'm picturing him yelling at the priest, stop harassing me about the sacrament, I'm studying. Okay, BYE!

Edited August 18, 2019 by KungFuBunny

[Gem 10]

21 hours ago, biakbiak said:

She said the nanny was on her way, given that we didn’t even see the kids I don’t know why she would have mentioned it if it wasn’t true.

What? They couldn’t even wait until the sitter came? The party was more important than knowing the sitter there?  A lot of things could of happened in the few minutes the grown up wasn’t there.  Besides, at 14, a boy is less mature than a girl.  I would not have left until the sitter was there.  Screw the party.

[Keywestclubkid]

46 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

What? They couldn’t even wait until the sitter came? The party was more important than knowing the sitter there?  A lot of things could of happened in the few minutes the grown up wasn’t there.  Besides, at 14, a boy is less mature than a girl.  I would not have left until the sitter was there.  Screw the party.

this is a woman that has both those nannies and her kids watching her other kids and still needs "ME" time AND a separate house with NO kids at all... these are not children to this woman they are accessories to be pulled out to show off like look what I have... 

[AuntieDiane6]

Quote

I think people have to draw boundaries, and if I told someone not to call me during a party and they did anyway, I would not be the bigger person and break down to wish my parents a happy birthday, because indulging someone when they cross your boundaries incentivizes them to continue to do it.  If I'm Shane, they're my parents, and I'm not going to be emotionally blackmailed into wishing them happy birthday by my wife who has questionable motives (trying to portray an intact marriage for the cameras) in that moment.  He can honor and respect them at a time mutually agreed-upon by all. 

Well, if that is Shane's reasoning .... he is an idiot.  He and his wife are on a high-paying REALITY TV SHOW and he's coming off as a dick.  How can that possibly benefit his legal career?  The OC is filled with a lot of seniors--if that is how he treats HIS OWN PARENTS, how is he going to treat his clients?  

[Chit Chat]

On 8/15/2019 at 11:26 AM, Shellbell59 said:

At any rate...since I’m relatively close...I went down to Dubrow...

That's a pretty cool story, Shellbell59!  You got to meet the man himself!  I'm sorry that it was under those circumstances though.  Hopefully all is well now.  I've wondered how their skin care line was any different from the rest.  It's kind of funny seeing a woman (Heather) hawking skin care products when she's got a plastic surgeon at her finger tips.  I tend to take those claims of "have the best skin ever with our product" with a grain of salt.  Unless that jar of facial cream has some botox in it, I don't think I'm going to get the same result!

I deleted this franchise from my DVR, but I do confess to tuning in midway through to see what shenanigans were going on.  I kind of missed what Kelly's issue with Vicki is.  Is it solely about Vicki claiming that Kelly did cocaine (which is a horrible thing to put out there), or was there more to it?  

Tamra's house is beautiful.  I noticed that she stressed that her house is behind 2 gates now.  It irks me when people like her talk about being inclusive while they sit securely behind gates in their little neighborhood bubble.  😉

[SweetieDarling]

44 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said:

this is a woman that has both those nannies and her kids watching her other kids and still needs "ME" time AND a separate house with NO kids at all... these are not children to this woman they are accessories to be pulled out to show off like look what I have... 

And her husband makes them breakfast before he goes off to work!  Maybe, she was zoned out that morning from being up with the baby during the night, but it came across as their usual morning routine, so, who knows.

I don't understand why someone would want to be a SAHM with that large of a family, only to delegate their care to someone else (a non family member). I don't think I'd be able to rationalize or justify the hiring of a nanny, at least not on my budget. I'd be hearing my parents in my head: "Well, you shouldn't have had so many kids, if you couldn't take care of them. In my day,..."

[ghoulina]

4 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

What? They couldn’t even wait until the sitter came? The party was more important than knowing the sitter there?  A lot of things could of happened in the few minutes the grown up wasn’t there.  Besides, at 14, a boy is less mature than a girl.  I would not have left until the sitter was there.  Screw the party.

Eh, I don't see it as that big of a deal. I think a 14-year-old is more than mature enough to babysit, let alone hang out with their siblings until the nanny arrives. Obviously every teenager is different; but from the little we saw of her kids, they seemed pretty level-headed. 

I left my 9 and 7 year old home alone for a five minutes the other day. I was taking my oldest to our therapy appointment and my husband got stuck in traffic on the way home. We missed each other by a matter of moments. But they were fine. 

I was babysitting for the neighbours when I was ten. So maybe I just have a weird bias, but I don't think it's a big deal. 

[langford peel]

I think it is ridiculous that the only time Kelly seems like a decent human being is when she films with her daughter. That is why there are so many scenes of them together. It is just weird and off putting and way to much to dump normalizing a sociopath on a kid.

Edited August 17, 2019 by langford peel

[FozzyBear]

The thing about Shane is his sense of entitlement seems so off the chain, I kind of doubt that any of this is really tied to the Bar. Maybe the bar is making it slightly worse (slightly) but I doubt it’s by much. I’m in the middle of writing my doctoral thesis. Work and family and friends know I’m scaling back on some stuff until I’m done, but I, in no way, have the privilege of locking myself in a hole until it’s over. I still have responsibilities that are mine (not my coworker’s or my partner’s or my parent’s or my friend’s) alone. And all the people in my life have shit going on that is just as important as my shit. I still need to go to work and clean my apartment and do the dishes and return text messages and, oh yeah, not treat people like complete shit and expect them to be there when I’m done. It’s called grown up life. Sometimes you have more then one important thing on your plate. I think Shane isn’t passing because he’s never really had to buckle down and do something for himself. He comes across as a spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

[BckpckFullaNinjas]

On 8/14/2019 at 9:40 PM, howiveaddict said:

Braunwyn's husband looks like he has had too much work done to his face. I also get a gay vibe from him for some reason.

I thought the same from my viewing of the first episode. This morning when I heard that Ed Smart (Father of Elizabeth) had come out and left the LDS Church, I though of Brauny’s husband.  Fathers of many can indeed turn out to be gay.

Editing: I added this after reading somewhere back on page 3 or so. As others mention above, there’s no real cause to suppose anyone’s orientation. I’m just feeling both relieved and sad for the Smart Family. But they’ve been thru lots, lots worse. 

Edited August 17, 2019 by BckpckFullaNinjas

[langford peel]

I think they are already on the fast track to divorce just like Gina last year. Emily is as trying to force him on camera and he wasn’t having it. Maybe he has a modicum of self awareness and figured out how bad he came off and wanted to avoid the cameras. I don’t think he knew he was on camera in the phone call. I think his appearances will be sparse this year. That ought to make a lot of people happy and let’s Emily play the martyr which is the preferred role of all Housewives.

[KungFuBunny]

47 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

The thing about Shane is his sense of entitlement seems so off the chain, I kind of doubt that any of this is really tied to the Bar. Maybe the bar is making it slightly worse (slightly) but I doubt it’s by much. I’m in the middle of writing my doctoral thesis. Work and family and friends know I’m scaling back on some stuff until I’m done, but I, in no way, have the privilege of locking myself in a hole until it’s over. I still have responsibilities that are mine (not my coworker’s or my partner’s or my parent’s or my friend’s) alone. And all the people in my life have shit going on that is just as important as my shit. I still need to go to work and clean my apartment and do the dishes and return text messages and, oh yeah, not treat people like complete shit and expect them to be there when I’m done. It’s called grown up life. Sometimes you have more then one important thing on your plate. I think Shane isn’t passing because he’s never really had to buckle down and do something for himself. He comes across as a spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

I think it is his "normal" and the way he treats Emily is the way he has treated her from the beginning. He may have been slightly less of an asshole when they first married but once he had to shell out money for IVF his El Doucho started rearing its little bitch head.

Think back to season 1 - how he was when Emily was crying over the baby footprints, how he was at the therapists office.

On his first season it did at least seem he had a relationship with his kids. I thought it was kind of sad that when Emily Facetimed him this season - the kids didn't jump up at down to try to talk to daddy or ask when he was going to be home - I think this has been their new normal for some time - and it's not the "Bar Exam"

[chlban]

6 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

this is a woman that has both those nannies and her kids watching her other kids and still needs "ME" time AND a separate house with NO kids at all... these are not children to this woman they are accessories to be pulled out to show off like look what I have... 

You may have just hit on why I didn't share in all the baby machine love. I couldn't really place why I didn't think I was going to like her, but this is spot on. It's not like she is some earth mother type. I rarely agree with trashy Tamara on  anything, but her response of "why"? when  told she had 7 kids was pretty much the same as mine. Attention seeker and, what the heck, it's not like she has to actually be bothered to parent.

[biakbiak]

9 minutes ago, chlban said:

You may have just hit on why I didn't share in all the baby machine love. I couldn't really place why I didn't think I was going to like her, but this is spot on. It's not like she is some earth mother type. I rarely agree with trashy Tamara on  anything, but her response of "why"? when  told she had 7 kids was pretty much the same as mine. Attention seeker and, what the heck, it's not like she has to actually be bothered to parent.

I don’t know if it answers why 7 but they had the youngest kid after they lost a baby, the second youngest was a twin.

[lcarolynl]

I don't think having a nanny (or two) to help out when you have seven kids is unreasonable at all! The more help she has with the drudgery of being a housewife and mom, the more she can take them to the beach, do art projects, snuggle in with a story or song at night, etc. 
If they can afford it I think it's money well spent!

My mom worked through my childhood and we always had a babysitter during the day and we rented a bedroom to a college student who's duty was to watch us when mom was cooking dinner and then cleaning up from dinner. 

I remember having a lovely childhood.

My grandmother did something similar when my mom was a child, there were always tenants living and contributing to the household.

[Gem 10]

On 8/15/2019 at 7:37 PM, RedheadZombie said:

Braunwyn and hubbie left their son (14 y/0) in charge of five children, including himself, and at least one toddler and a baby?  Oh but the nanny will be there “soon”.  

Meanwhile, the nanny could be 15 minutes late, and a fire can start in 1 minute, God forbid.   These parents have rocks in their head.  Now, I don’t like her.  At all.  Dumbass.

Edited August 17, 2019 by Gem 10

[LibertarianSlut]

6 hours ago, AuntieDiane6 said:

Well, if that is Shane's reasoning .... he is an idiot.  He and his wife are on a high-paying REALITY TV SHOW and he's coming off as a dick.  How can that possibly benefit his legal career?  The OC is filled with a lot of seniors--if that is how he treats HIS OWN PARENTS, how is he going to treat his clients?  

Wow, how did I become bedfellows with Shane?!? 😱 I'll take one last sally at it.  First, I have to issue a discaimer:

I don't even like Shane!  There was some truth there when Kelly yelled at him that he was a bitch.  He seems dismissive.  Although I think the editing was wonky last season, it seemed really inappropriate for him to yell at Gina that his kids were sleeping when she was drunk at their house when she was invited over to drink.  I just don't get the hostility about this particular instance.  There are times people are not going to want to or be able to talk to their spouses.  If it's cleared in advance, and it's not an ongoing thing, I don't see the problem.

I don't remember Shane being mean to his parents.  I thought Emily asked if they should "FaceTime Daddy," which I thought was manipulative (for reasons I pointed out upthread), he didn't answer, and he called back and Emily took the call in a different room when Shane was basically like, "damn, you're harassing me."  

Since I don't think all people over 65 think alike or identify with each other, any more than I think people under 65 think alike or identify with each other, I don't think that the people of Orange County of a certain age are all going to think in lockstep about Shane not entertaining a telephone call from his wife when his parents were present--without any other information, such as whether he spent the morning with them--as a condemnation of seniors to the point where they will decide as a group to decline legal representation from him, regardless of his rates, reputation as an attorney, or level of competency.

I really think this is between Shane and Emily.  I don't really think there's an argument to be made that he treated his kids or parents poorly. 

If this episode had not taken place in February (mid-February, cause of Valentie's Day) and the dude was allegedly studying this hard in December?  I'd say Shane needs to get the fuck out of here with that shit.  That is not normal.  Studying however hard he's studying in mid-February is normal.  It's all about timing.

2 hours ago, FozzyBear said:

I’m in the middle of writing my doctoral thesis. Work and family and friends know I’m scaling back on some stuff until I’m done, but I, in no way, have the privilege of locking myself in a hole until it’s over. I still have responsibilities that are mine (not my coworker’s or my partner’s or my parent’s or my friend’s) alone. 

I dunno.  I guess when it comes to these huge tests and papers, it's the way you structure your life.  Your life is your own, and I chose to make my life more like Shane's when I took the bars. My personal "responsibilities" that were mine alone were limited to keeping my condo clean because I shared it with a roommate (and I'm also not a slob).  I didn't have a job when I studied.  It wouldn't have entered my mind.  Working and studying for the bar is like working out two hours a day and stuffing your face the rest of the time--you're undoing what you've done. It doesn't make sense IMO.   I would have been available to people in a bone fide emergency that involved a hospital, and like I stated up thread, I was the maid of honor for my sister's wedding, but she didn't ask me for more than half a day.  

As far as returning text messages, it depends on what people are texting you.  If it's "hey, what's up?" And you know I'm taking the bar, I'll respond on my time.  And everyone in my world knew I was taking the bar.  I know I'm dating myself, but this was when Facebook was big.  So for someone to text me in an non-emergency situation, and expect a response?  That's for their conscience, not mine.

All these standards I'm setting out?  It's exactly how everyone I know lived.  Hell, a lot of people I knew lived this way during law school, even though I didn't (and it showed in my GPA).  So, I guess Shane's behavior seems very normal to me for that reason, and thats why I'm defending him here.

People who loved me and respected me gave me enough space to do what I had to do.  My boyfriend at the time was studying right along beside me for the first bar, and we had a long distance relationship at the time of the second one.  While I had to limit my phone calls with him to a few minutes a night toward the end, I hopped a flight to see him the next day and there was never a conflict or confusion.

I never heard anyone say there was anything abnormal about what I was doing.  People only commended me.  And I passed.  Then I was free to do things for people, and I had more earning potential, so everyone was happier.  If I had taken time to diddle around and have long talks with people when I should have been studying, everyone would have been worse off, cause I just would have had to take more months to take the bar again (any maybe again).  My parents were crystal clear on this and supported me fully, much as I suspect (hope) Shane's parents are supporting him.  I don't remember Shane's parents calling him or pressuring him.  

I look at the bar sort of the way I look at an emergency situation--if there is, say, a building collapse, people are going to be barking instructions at each other, acting impolite, not saying "please," just "do this, go there, duck, run," etc.  Once it's over, everyone can smoke cigars and pat each other on the back, and say "we had a rough time there, didn't we?  Thank God everyone got out alright."  With a bar, it's like a two month long low-grade emergency.  The was I see it, you do have a right to sort of go into a little hole and study at least 10-12 hours a day as long as that's what's your family agreed upon, if you have one.  If not, you probably shouldn't be taking a bar, because all of the work and money will go to waste.  

 I said in my last post that I hope that Shane cleared the decision to take and study for the California bar yet again with his wife, his kids, and his ex-wife, because studying takes up a ton of your time.  I also said that I highly suspect that if Shane had proposed moving back to Utah--where he can practice law, which I think is a fine idea--Emily would be appalled at giving up the OC lifestyle, so it's not like this is simply Shane's Selfish Adventure. 

And what's worse is that Emily has got to know this, because she took and passed the CA bar (I'm sure prior to marriage and children).  She had to put these kind of hours in, so she has to know what he's going through.  Unless she's literally a genius......

And I guess that's all I have to say about the bar for this episode at least.  Man, I feel like going to a bar right now after thinking about it.

34 minutes ago, chlban said:

I rarely agree with trashy Tamara on  anything, but her response of "why"? when  told she had 7 kids was pretty much the same as mine. Attention seeker and, what the heck, it's not like she has to actually be bothered to parent.

I found this disingenous of Tamra to say, because not only does she have four kids, which is much closer to seven than most people come, but because she changes like the weather in her positions.  Tamra doesn't trust new women, so she made that remark just to be catty.  I suspect this because...

There was a time when Heather was contemplating having another baby and Tamra, who was usually spending her time trying to get up Heather's ass (and vice versa) screeched, "we both already have four kids.  What's five?  What's six?!?"  So there's a double standard with Tamra.  If she likes you, then you can have six children.  If she doesn't really know you, but feels competitive with you cause her buddy Shannon took a liking to you, then you're a loco bird for having seven.

I'm not sure Tamra should have procreated at all (and that's not a comment on her children; it's a comment on the idea of Tamra passing her DNA onto another generation).

[Anne Thrax]

On 8/13/2019 at 11:41 PM, AntAnn said:

I’m late to the party, but I’ll give kudos to Kelly trying to walk away from icky. Plus, why is Icky wearing fur in the OC? And I am not a fan officially anymore ...bye Kyle!

Vicki is the only person in the whole of 21st Century Orange County to think a fur garment is a stylish choice. 

I think I remember that ratty-looking vest from a previous season and it was hideous and inappropriate then too.  Honest to Pete, Vicki burn that goddamn thing.

Edited August 18, 2019 by Anne Thrax

[Anne Thrax]

On 8/14/2019 at 5:40 AM, Gem 10 said:

All was quiet until Big Mouth came back last night.  What a fiasco.  She rolls in and starts the apology tour with Kelly.  Of course she doesn’t mean it.  She kept following her around and irritating everyone around her.  STFU already.  I hope this episode was a test from Andy, and I hope she failed.  Her apologies and “ I love you s” are bullshit.  She’s still vile with her attacks, and I hope Kelly holds her ground.  She just thinks she’s the Queen of Bravo still.  I only hope she doesn’t go on that trip.  Also, she should put on another half dozen spanks and stuff her mouth with that damn fur coat.

Another Vicki habit -- she starts out trying to act contrite and pretending to admit her wrong, but when that doesn't produce the desired result immediately, she goes straight to screaming and threats, which exposes the utter disingenuousness of her 2-minutes-ago apology. 

I think she's done on this show.  Vicki has succeeded in alienating everyone.  Except maybe Steve (did he even speak to Vicki this episode?), but then we already know his relationship with Vicki is fair-weather at best.

[biakbiak]

2 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Meanwhile, the nanny could be 15 minutes late, and a fire can start in 1 minute, God forbid.   These parents have rocks in their head.  Now, I don’t like her.  At all.  Dumbass.

He’s 14 kids that age look after their siblings all the time.

[ladle]

How wrong is it that I keep coming back here in the hopes that somebody has cracked the mystery of whether Shane passed the bar?

[Anne Thrax]

On 8/14/2019 at 10:20 AM, Shellbell59 said:

Responding to clothing choice...Vicki...but if you check again you’ll see many jackets coats...

Coastal communities in SoCal average 71-73 degrees daily...with chilly Pacific onshore breezes/winds in morning and evening..

So depending on how a person tolerates hot/cold determines their wardrobe. An example...my place 5 houses from shore in Vta ...foggy mornings that burn off around noon.  Especially after the month of April...we have May grey...Jun gloom...etc...

That is why around house I wear uggs with shorts T-shirt and sweatshirt in AM..and peel off layers throughout the day...and replace in evening...

Coto is inland...but the topography of the OC allows to ocean breeze to penetrate further inland.

That said... Vicki is bat shit crazy EXTRA...hot or cold..the fur (faux or not) was literally “overkill” 

I don't know why they showed surfers at Huntington Beach and then cut to Tamra in her new digs in Coto, which is about a half-hour drive inland.  They're nowhere near the ocean, so it's significantly warmer there than the coast.  This week the daily high temps were in the upper 80s and low 90s.  At the beach, mid-70s all week.

Edited August 18, 2019 by Anne Thrax

[biakbiak]

1 minute ago, ladle said:

How wrong is it that I keep coming back here in the hopes that somebody has cracked the mystery of whether Shane passed the bar?

He didn’t.

[FozzyBear]

2 hours ago, biakbiak said:

He didn’t.

Is he licensed to practice law in Utah? Someone else brought that up, but I didn’t remember it being mentioned.   

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, Anne Thrax said:

Another Vicki habit -- she starts out trying to act contrite and pretending to admit her wrong, but when that doesn't produce the desired result immediately, she goes straight to screaming and threats, which exposes the utter disingenuousness of her 2-minutes-ago apology. 

I think she's done on this show.  Vicki has succeeded in alienating everyone.  Except maybe Steve (did he even speak to Vicki this episode?), but then we already know his relationship with Vicki is fair-weather at best.

Well, according to Andy, who was on the Jerry O’Connell show Friday, Andy said Vikie was the first housewife and will stay.  She’s probably like a fixture already and will be around out of respect, or something like that.

[biakbiak]

3 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

Is he licensed to practice law in Utah? Someone else brought that up, but I didn’t remember it being mentioned.   

I don’t know if it’s current but yes he had. 

[SimonSeymour]

On 8/15/2019 at 10:20 AM, MaggieG said:

It's always a shock to see Vickie's old faces.

When Braunwyn was talking about her mom and she said "And then she went to Burning Man." The way she said it cracked me up.

Is Shane really that much of a dick that he can't take an hour out of his "study" time to spend with his parents on their birthday in his own house? That cake that Emily's friend made did look good.

Yeah, he is that much of a dick. He’s not cramming for an exam the next day, like he’s in college. 🙄. I took the bar exam 19 years ago when I was 26 (Jesus! I can’t believe it’s been that long). I studied for maybe five hours a day? Longer after July 4th (which is the official freak out date for the July bar). I still remember feeling guilty for going to see The Perfect Storm on Connecticut in D.C. the night it came out instead of staying home to study. Lol. And going to a Dave Matthew’s concert even later in July. Lol. 

My point is: Shane certainly could have spared an hour to have cake for his parents’ birthdays. 

Edited August 18, 2019 by SimonSeymour

[Lizzing]

4 hours ago, FozzyBear said:

Is he licensed to practice law in Utah? Someone else brought that up, but I didn’t remember it being mentioned.   

Just to put all this who-passed-what-bar business in clear form:

Emily Simpson graduated from Thomas Jefferson School of Law, was admitted in CA on 12/1/05 and UT on 10/31/11, and is "active" (i.e., able to practice, current on dues, CLE, etc.) in both jurisdictions.

Shane Simpson graduated from Whittier College School of Law, was admitted in UT on 10/31/11,  and is active in UT.  He is not listed as a CA attorney, so he did not pass the February, 2019 exam, as those results are out.  If he took the July, 2019 exam, those results are pending and will be released sometime after October (I can't say for certain when, as I'm not, nor ever was, a CA attorney).

Shireen Burgan, Shane's sister and Emily's party planner partner, graduated from Whittier College School of Law, was admitted in CA on 12/2/08, and is active in CA.

I have no idea how Shane was Emily's boss in Utah, since she had six more years of practice and they were licensed in UT at the same time.  I also don't know why Shane didn't take the CA bar after graduating (maybe he did, failed, and just moved on to UT?) since he went to law school in CA.

And this is waaaay too much bar talk for me, as I'm having flashback dreams about studying for it, and it was better than 2 decades ago that I took the damn test.  😆 But I have to laugh at @SimonSeymour's comment about seeing a movie during studying.  Back in bar prep (which was live and in person as this was the nascent days of the Internet and I don't live in a multi-jurisdiction test state), the guy teaching the last subject had been teaching and bar exam grading for longer than I've been alive today.  He said to knock off early on the night before the exam, go see a movie, and don't crack a book until you sit down to take the test.  Worked like a charm for me!

On a completely different topic, it strikes me that Emily and Vicki both dress in the same wrong manner.  They go for tight clothes and tops with extra crap on them that makes their shoulders look super-wide, which in turn, strikes a silhouette much larger than they actually are.  We saw that especially with Emily last year when she was in her swimsuit on vacation--when she was down to that suit, she was actually quite lovely in proportion  She needs a stylist more than anything, because, unlike Vicki who will NEVER learn not to buy her clothes two sizes too small and always have an affinity for dead muppet vests, I think there's hope for Emily.  Someone needs to get her some of the Joan Holloway-Harris style wiggle dresses and steer her the hell away from ruffles and weird cut-outs.

[chlban]

9 hours ago, SimonSeymour said:

Yeah, he is that much of a dick. He’s not cramming for an exam the next day, like he’s in college. 🙄. I took the bar exam 19 years ago when I was 26 (Jesus! I can’t believe it’s been that long). I studied for maybe five hours a day? Longer after July 4th (which is the official freak out date for the July bar). I still remember feeling guilty for going to see The Perfect Storm on Connecticut in D.C. the night it came out instead of staying home to study. Lol. And going to a Dave Matthew’s concert even later in July. Lol. 

My point is: Shane certainly could have spared an hour to have cake for his parents’ birthdays. 

I think the point has been made how intense it is to study for the bar. I certainly get that you aren't going to be focused on social events But this was a family birthday dinner and cake. He has to eat, so maybe he normally orders in and eats while he studies, but we are talking about taking maybe an hour to an hour and a half to spend with his family, and have a meal. The bar wasn't the next day. Any way you cut this, it is a total dick move, and his total disrespect to his family is disgraceful. God forbid, it could be his parents last birthday, something you think about after parents reach a certain age.The man is a jerk. Full stop. He has shown if more than once. I hate it when any woman, especially a capable one with resources, puts up with that kind of abuse. And it is abuse, even if it isn't physical.

1 minute ago, chlban said:

Edited August 18, 2019 by chlban

[albarino]

37 minutes ago, chlban said:

The bar wasn't the next day. Any way you cut this, it is a total dick move, and his total disrespect to his family is disgraceful.

YES.  I've enjoyed reading this thread and seeing feedback from lawyers who have studied and passed the bar (and bravo to all of you) but dude has three kids.  His wife asks for help and he doesn't come running?  How about this?  How about you don't practice law?  If you're that smart, do something else. Jeez, he is a complete piece of special work; the beauty is that it is all caught on film.  I can't abide him.

[RedheadZombie]

1 hour ago, chlban said:

I think the point has been made how intense it is to study for the bar. I certainly get that you aren't going to be focused on social events But this was a family birthday dinner and cake. He has to eat, so maybe he normally orders in and eats while he studies, but we are talking about taking maybe an hour to an hour and a half to spend with his family, and have a meal. The bar wasn't the next day. Any way you cut this, it is a total dick move, and his total disrespect to his family is disgraceful. God forbid, it could be his parents last birthday, something you think about after parents reach a certain age.The man is a jerk. Full stop. He has shown if more than once. I hate it when any woman, especially a capable one with resources, puts up with that kind of abuse. And it is abuse, even if it isn't physical.

And doesn’t he stay with his parents who live a couple of houses away?  

36 minutes ago, albarino said:

YES.  I've enjoyed reading this thread and seeing feedback from lawyers who have studied and passed the bar (and bravo to all of you) but dude has three kids.  His wife asks for help and he doesn't come running?  How about this?  How about you don't practice law?  If you're that smart, do something else. Jeez, he is a complete piece of special work; the beauty is that it is all caught on film.  I can't abide him.

Who would even hire this dude after he’s failed multiple times and shown he’s a total asshole. Good luck. 

[Shellbell59]

15 hours ago, Anne Thrax said:

I don't know why they showed surfers at Huntington Beach and then cut to Tamra in her new digs in Coto, which is about a half-hour drive inland.  They're nowhere near the ocean, so it's significantly warmer there than the coast.  This week the daily high temps were in the upper 80s and low 90s.  At the beach, mid-70s all week.

You’re correct here in CA...we are VERY spread out...and a county can stretch miles and miles in any direction....

maybe inland shots less “SoCal like”?

That said...I believe the shots we see of surfers at beach....overheads of coast...etc are “stock images/video”...  in other words not necessarily filmed the same day they filmed inland....and yes it’s been exceptionally warm...(although we usually warm up coming up here soon anyway as Santana wind season (more commonly known as Santa Ana Winds)is coming...ugh more fires....😧 (corner of my garage roof burnt Dec from Thomas Aquinas fire in Vta)

Here in Ventura...11 miles inland is Ojai...where my family is from originally...and yes...easily 100 degrees there on occasion and I drive back down to Ventura to a wall of fog...being a few houses off beach...one summer we went more than 90 days without sun...but counld literally drive up Seaward Ave less than 1/4-1/2 mile and be in sunshine...this happens when our Cemtral Valley is extremely hot.

like is said..it depends on local topography...OC lends toward more avenues for onshore breezes to reach further inland...

scary..reminds me heard on news ...this last month was hottest ever recorded...WORLD WIDE!

😦

Edited August 18, 2019 by Shellbell59
Forgot something

[ghoulina]

22 hours ago, FozzyBear said:

The thing about Shane is his sense of entitlement seems so off the chain, I kind of doubt that any of this is really tied to the Bar. Maybe the bar is making it slightly worse (slightly) but I doubt it’s by much. I’m in the middle of writing my doctoral thesis. Work and family and friends know I’m scaling back on some stuff until I’m done, but I, in no way, have the privilege of locking myself in a hole until it’s over. I still have responsibilities that are mine (not my coworker’s or my partner’s or my parent’s or my friend’s) alone. And all the people in my life have shit going on that is just as important as my shit. I still need to go to work and clean my apartment and do the dishes and return text messages and, oh yeah, not treat people like complete shit and expect them to be there when I’m done. It’s called grown up life. Sometimes you have more then one important thing on your plate. I think Shane isn’t passing because he’s never really had to buckle down and do something for himself. He comes across as a spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

Exactly. He seems very spoiled. He has a wife. He has kids. He can study. But I don't think it's fair to COMPLETELY shirk his duties as a husband and father to study for this test. It's his choice to do this now, at this point in his life; so he needs to make it work around his family. 

[lcarolynl]

21 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Wow, how did I become bedfellows with Shane?!? 😱 I'll take one last sally at it.  First, I have to issue a discaimer:

I don't even like Shane!  There was some truth there when Kelly yelled at him that he was a bitch.  He seems dismissive.  Although I think the editing was wonky last season, it seemed really inappropriate for him to yell at Gina that his kids were sleeping when she was drunk at their house when she was invited over to drink.  I just don't get the hostility about this particular instance.  There are times people are not going to want to or be able to talk to their spouses.  If it's cleared in advance, and it's not an ongoing thing, I don't see the problem.

I don't remember Shane being mean to his parents.  I thought Emily asked if they should "FaceTime Daddy," which I thought was manipulative (for reasons I pointed out upthread), he didn't answer, and he called back and Emily took the call in a different room when Shane was basically like, "damn, you're harassing me."  

Since I don't think all people over 65 think alike or identify with each other, any more than I think people under 65 think alike or identify with each other, I don't think that the people of Orange County of a certain age are all going to think in lockstep about Shane not entertaining a telephone call from his wife when his parents were present--without any other information, such as whether he spent the morning with them--as a condemnation of seniors to the point where they will decide as a group to decline legal representation from him, regardless of his rates, reputation as an attorney, or level of competency.

I really think this is between Shane and Emily.  I don't really think there's an argument to be made that he treated his kids or parents poorly. 

If this episode had not taken place in February (mid-February, cause of Valentie's Day) and the dude was allegedly studying this hard in December?  I'd say Shane needs to get the fuck out of here with that shit.  That is not normal.  Studying however hard he's studying in mid-February is normal.  It's all about timing.

I dunno.  I guess when it comes to these huge tests and papers, it's the way you structure your life.  Your life is your own, and I chose to make my life more like Shane's when I took the bars. My personal "responsibilities" that were mine alone were limited to keeping my condo clean because I shared it with a roommate (and I'm also not a slob).  I didn't have a job when I studied.  It wouldn't have entered my mind.  Working and studying for the bar is like working out two hours a day and stuffing your face the rest of the time--you're undoing what you've done. It doesn't make sense IMO.   I would have been available to people in a bone fide emergency that involved a hospital, and like I stated up thread, I was the maid of honor for my sister's wedding, but she didn't ask me for more than half a day.  

As far as returning text messages, it depends on what people are texting you.  If it's "hey, what's up?" And you know I'm taking the bar, I'll respond on my time.  And everyone in my world knew I was taking the bar.  I know I'm dating myself, but this was when Facebook was big.  So for someone to text me in an non-emergency situation, and expect a response?  That's for their conscience, not mine.

All these standards I'm setting out?  It's exactly how everyone I know lived.  Hell, a lot of people I knew lived this way during law school, even though I didn't (and it showed in my GPA).  So, I guess Shane's behavior seems very normal to me for that reason, and thats why I'm defending him here.

People who loved me and respected me gave me enough space to do what I had to do.  My boyfriend at the time was studying right along beside me for the first bar, and we had a long distance relationship at the time of the second one.  While I had to limit my phone calls with him to a few minutes a night toward the end, I hopped a flight to see him the next day and there was never a conflict or confusion.

I never heard anyone say there was anything abnormal about what I was doing.  People only commended me.  And I passed.  Then I was free to do things for people, and I had more earning potential, so everyone was happier.  If I had taken time to diddle around and have long talks with people when I should have been studying, everyone would have been worse off, cause I just would have had to take more months to take the bar again (any maybe again).  My parents were crystal clear on this and supported me fully, much as I suspect (hope) Shane's parents are supporting him.  I don't remember Shane's parents calling him or pressuring him.  

I look at the bar sort of the way I look at an emergency situation--if there is, say, a building collapse, people are going to be barking instructions at each other, acting impolite, not saying "please," just "do this, go there, duck, run," etc.  Once it's over, everyone can smoke cigars and pat each other on the back, and say "we had a rough time there, didn't we?  Thank God everyone got out alright."  With a bar, it's like a two month long low-grade emergency.  The was I see it, you do have a right to sort of go into a little hole and study at least 10-12 hours a day as long as that's what's your family agreed upon, if you have one.  If not, you probably shouldn't be taking a bar, because all of the work and money will go to waste.  

 I said in my last post that I hope that Shane cleared the decision to take and study for the California bar yet again with his wife, his kids, and his ex-wife, because studying takes up a ton of your time.  I also said that I highly suspect that if Shane had proposed moving back to Utah--where he can practice law, which I think is a fine idea--Emily would be appalled at giving up the OC lifestyle, so it's not like this is simply Shane's Selfish Adventure. 

And what's worse is that Emily has got to know this, because she took and passed the CA bar (I'm sure prior to marriage and children).  She had to put these kind of hours in, so she has to know what he's going through.  Unless she's literally a genius......

And I guess that's all I have to say about the bar for this episode at least.  Man, I feel like going to a bar right now after thinking about it.

I found this disingenous of Tamra to say, because not only does she have four kids, which is much closer to seven than most people come, but because she changes like the weather in her positions.  Tamra doesn't trust new women, so she made that remark just to be catty.  I suspect this because...

There was a time when Heather was contemplating having another baby and Tamra, who was usually spending her time trying to get up Heather's ass (and vice versa) screeched, "we both already have four kids.  What's five?  What's six?!?"  So there's a double standard with Tamra.  If she likes you, then you can have six children.  If she doesn't really know you, but feels competitive with you cause her buddy Shannon took a liking to you, then you're a loco bird for having seven.

I'm not sure Tamra should have procreated at all (and that's not a comment on her children; it's a comment on the idea of Tamra passing her DNA onto another generation).

I can't believe I'm quoting your entire long-assed post but I'm chiming in to say that I agree entire with you on this. Shane is a dick.
The bar requires complete dedication.

I took and passed one bar and my day went like this:
7:00 get up, eat breakfast (two eggs and one piece of toast).

7:30 start studying

Noon iced coffee and lunch

12:30 Study

3:00 Go for run, shower

5:00  eat dinner (salad bar at nearby pizza joint)

6:00-9:00 bar review class

9:00 review notes and have a drink (every night!)

In bed by 11:00 every night.No movies, no parties, I did attend one wedding but was gone before they cut the cake and I still remember the feeling of stress at the time it took. My cousin also took the same bar and we were both wondering why this wedding had to take place during our bar season. Couldn't they wait until next month? Just kidding, but we were living in our own worlds at that time. 

Weekends were almost entirely the same only without the bar classes. I continued to study into the evening in the place of the bar review classes.

I can't imagine anyone expecting me to come to a family dinner and giving me shit if I didn't show up. I didn't have two hours for dinner and I was usually going over my notes while I ate.

I think that to successfully prepare for the bar, one has to put it above everyone and everything else and Emily didn't respect that. 

I don't like Shane and I think he's a dick but this is a poor example to prove that point. Emily was in the wrong and she got about what she deserved. LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

Now I think there is a very good argument to be made that a husband with several small children at home is being selfish to dedicate so much family time to this endeavor. 
He's failed what, three CA bar exams? Sometimes perfectly great and successful law students just can't pass the bar. I've seen it several times. Time to refocus and change the long term plans in my opinion. 

[LibertarianSlut]

14 minutes ago, lcarolynl said:

I can't believe I'm quoting your entire long-assed post but I'm chiming in to say that I agree entire with you on this. Shane is a dick.
The bar requires complete dedication.

I took and passed one bar and my day went like this:
7:00 get up, eat breakfast (two eggs and one piece of toast).

7:30 start studying

Noon iced coffee and lunch

12:30 Study

3:00 Go for run, shower

5:00  eat dinner (salad bar at nearby pizza joint)

6:00-9:00 bar review class

9:00 review notes and have a drink (every night!)

In bed by 11:00 every night.No movies, no parties, I did attend one wedding but was gone before they cut the cake and I still remember the feeling of stress at the time it took. My cousin also took the same bar and we were both wondering why this wedding had to take place during our bar season. Couldn't they wait until next month? Just kidding, but we were living in our own worlds at that time. 

Weekends were almost entirely the same only without the bar classes. I continued to study into the evening in the place of the bar review classes.

I can't imagine anyone expecting me to come to a family dinner and giving me shit if I didn't show up. I didn't have two hours for dinner and I was usually going over my notes while I ate.

I think that to successfully prepare for the bar, one has to put it above everyone and everything else and Emily didn't respect that. 

I don't like Shane and I think he's a dick but this is a poor example to prove that point. Emily was in the wrong and she got about what she deserved. LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

Now I think there is a very good argument to be made that a husband with several small children at home is being selfish to dedicate so much family time to this endeavor. 
He's failed what, three CA bar exams? Sometimes perfectly great and successful law students just can't pass the bar. I've seen it several times. Time to refocus and change the long term plans in my opinion. 

I love you!  Until this post, I was actually doubting myself, wondering if I was making the bar more of a thing than it was in restrospect, to the point where I was like:

[howiveaddict]

I thought last season Emily was introduced as a party planner and a lawyer. How come then it's so hard to plan a little party for her inlaws?  Especially since she didn't have to cook.  

Not interestered in Braunwyn's mother either.  Not in to the so so quirky types.  Here in Indiana, she would stand out like a sore thumb.  Of course, that is what she's aiming for.

[SimonSeymour]

9 hours ago, chlban said:

I think the point has been made how intense it is to study for the bar. I certainly get that you aren't going to be focused on social events But this was a family birthday dinner and cake. He has to eat, so maybe he normally orders in and eats while he studies, but we are talking about taking maybe an hour to an hour and a half to spend with his family, and have a meal. The bar wasn't the next day. Any way you cut this, it is a total dick move, and his total disrespect to his family is disgraceful. God forbid, it could be his parents last birthday, something you think about after parents reach a certain age.The man is a jerk. Full stop. He has shown if more than once. I hate it when any woman, especially a capable one with resources, puts up with that kind of abuse. And it is abuse, even if it isn't physical.

That’s exactly the point I was trying to make. Even the NIGHT BEFORE the bar exam, I had time to go out for dinner with my parents. 

[SweetieDarling]

It seems there is more to Shane not showing up for the birthday dinner than just the bar exam. I think, like most of them in the same situation (trouble in paradise), Emily is trying to put on a happy front for the cameras, but Shane doesn't want to play. It will be interesting to see if he moves back into the house after the exam.

[Natalie68]

14 hours ago, lcarolynl said:

I can't believe I'm quoting your entire long-assed post but I'm chiming in to say that I agree entire with you on this. Shane is a dick.
The bar requires complete dedication.

I took and passed one bar and my day went like this:
7:00 get up, eat breakfast (two eggs and one piece of toast).

7:30 start studying

Noon iced coffee and lunch

12:30 Study

3:00 Go for run, shower

5:00  eat dinner (salad bar at nearby pizza joint)

6:00-9:00 bar review class

9:00 review notes and have a drink (every night!)

In bed by 11:00 every night.No movies, no parties, I did attend one wedding but was gone before they cut the cake and I still remember the feeling of stress at the time it took. My cousin also took the same bar and we were both wondering why this wedding had to take place during our bar season. Couldn't they wait until next month? Just kidding, but we were living in our own worlds at that time. 

Weekends were almost entirely the same only without the bar classes. I continued to study into the evening in the place of the bar review classes.

I can't imagine anyone expecting me to come to a family dinner and giving me shit if I didn't show up. I didn't have two hours for dinner and I was usually going over my notes while I ate.

I think that to successfully prepare for the bar, one has to put it above everyone and everything else and Emily didn't respect that. 

I don't like Shane and I think he's a dick but this is a poor example to prove that point. Emily was in the wrong and she got about what she deserved. LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

Now I think there is a very good argument to be made that a husband with several small children at home is being selfish to dedicate so much family time to this endeavor. 
He's failed what, three CA bar exams? Sometimes perfectly great and successful law students just can't pass the bar. I've seen it several times. Time to refocus and change the long term plans in my opinion. 

I haven’t seen this ep yet but I think what one can surmise is everyone has a different way of studying and dealing w the stress it causes. He’s failed it several times and I can see how that would make one bitey. The show is her deal. If this were my household and I had kids and mr Natalie had a test like this I’d take over all kid duties and leave him the eff alone except bringing him food occasionally.  It’s called teamwork. Maybe I’ll feel differently once I see it but I doubt it.  Once I was an adult I didn’t care what day my bday as celebrated. As long as it was remembered.