S03.E03: Pack Your Bags

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

I honestly thought his reaction was more "How the HELL am I supposed to know what an "African" wedding reception looks like?  I run a mini golf course in Georgia!"  Most people come in and say "I want this type of food, this décor, and these services."  Angela just came in and said "I want fireworks and an African reception."  I don't think it had anything to do with her marrying a Nigerian, I think he was just reacting to her cluelessness.

I, for one, look forward to the broke down, bootleg, USA network Up All Night, B rated, low budget version of the wedding scene in Coming To America because I'm assuming that's the only "African wedding" any of these people have seen 

Edited August 12, 2019 by RealReality

[BluBrd47]

Would the big screen TV’s showing Ang and Mike’s big romantic moments include the scene of Angela humping him in the hotel room in Nigeria? Last year my 75 year old stepfather walked in during that scene, collapsed in laughter and asked me if “that poor fellow” was OK.

[Frozendiva]

16 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Wow, I had no idea that the "strong reluctance" to talk on the phone was a general theme.  I assumed it was just me.

I won't meet anyone who can't talk to me on the phone. 

I will simply tell them that I wish them the best of luck, but they are far too busy leading an exciting life for us to be a good match if they can't be bothered to have a ten minute phone conversation.  

Some guy kept on telling me that I was being weird and I was like "even if it's weird, the fact that you can't sacrifice like 10 minutes for a phone call that would make me feel more comfortable lets me know that we are not a good fit.  Good luck"

A lot of people really do not like talking on the phone these days. They prefer texting or email. Having an actual conversation is rare.

[100Proof]

On 8/7/2019 at 8:19 PM, Mrs. Hanson said:

But the best part is Big Angela:  You will never regret the meeting with DJ Brad (I think that was his name) the event coordinator

On 8/7/2019 at 8:46 PM, Spike said:

Wedding planner was baked out of his mind.

Going past the usual Angela idiocy,  I'm perplexed as to why...and if that was a real event hosting place.... that that DJ Doug guy could, in any kind of universe, be a company's actual sales rep. Unless of course, the highest class of clientele they get around there are inbred shaggers and pig fu**ers

16 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Darcey, I too love British men, but this one is a bit off. 

Has anyone dug into this guys life? Can't imagine that if he does happen to have a lot of money, and especially if its from any business(es) he's built, doubt he'd be the type of person who'd put up with such a clingy immature whining basketcase like Darcy

Edited August 12, 2019 by 100Proof

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, Frozendiva said:

A lot of people really do not like talking on the phone these days. They prefer texting or email. Having an actual conversation is rare.

That's cool.  To me, it's not an off the wall request, and so, were I in the same position and someone asked me to do something relatively painless to put them at ease....I'd do it. 

And if someone really can't do a 10 minute phone call to make me feel more comfortable, then yeah, we aren't a good match and I think they would feel better with someone more modern and contemporary than me.

[Frozendiva]

It's also changed in business. Not so long ago, my phone would ring X times per week. Except for some anonymous caller, I am lucky that I get a real phone call a handful of times per week.

[RealReality]

3 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

It's also changed in business. Not so long ago, my phone would ring X times per week. Except for some anonymous caller, I am lucky that I get a real phone call a handful of times per week.

Interesting.  In my line of work I'd be shocked to get a call.  It happens every now and again and it's cool.  I think it's a better way to convey tone....I can't use emojis when messaging a judge so the phone call can be a better way of making suggestions not sound confrontational.

One day, well all just have a device that transmits our thoughts without having to type or speak.  Obviously the robots will have killed me before that time. 

[MajorNelson]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Yes, they do look very nice,  but he only paid $200 so I'm going with CZ, don't care what the sales lady said. Manufactured diamonds cost much more than that. For example, a $5,000 diamond ring would be equal to $1,000 manufactured ring. Still pricey if you are flat ass broke like Ceasar. 

Well yes you may be right, $200 IS super inexpensive, and manufactured should have cost more.  I hope the saleslady wasn't hoodwinking him!   I figured maybe he was getting a big discount for whatever reasons.  

[Mercolleen]

3 hours ago, Azanscrazyhair said:

Now I'm off the bang my head on my desk

Love your handle!

[gotta watch]

Quote

Here is how I imagine the phone call Angie's daughter made in the car after the lunch.

Hello, loony bin?  My old ass mother wants me to donate an egg and tote the baby for her.  How old is she?  My best guess is sixty something.  Her NIGERIAN boyfriend is around 30.  You'll send someone right away? Great.  You better bring an extra, extra large net when you come.

Full disclosure.  I'm 62 so I can say old ass with complete confidence.  

@toodles thank you! I literally giggled til I cried!!

[MajorNelson]

1 hour ago, BluBrd47 said:

I’m hoping I’ll have better luck next time but so long as the guy isn’t into “chivalry”, asks me to flash my boobs, etc. I’m good.

Don't forget, with the example of this show, you may be okay.  If you start dating, the guy can ask your friends to flash him for you. 😄

Edited August 12, 2019 by MajorNelson

[configdotsys]

Can’t wait to read the snark. One of these days I’ll remember the damn Live Chat!

I am still working on names on this show. 

The guy with the ex with the kid seriously pings my gaydar.

The guy with the Ukrainian girlfriend is just a serious fool. It’s absolutely embarrassing how gullible he is. I can’t watch his segments.

The filter lady is another one that I’m putting out to pasture on my DVR.

Avery seems troubled to me and must have been a serious wild child. It will be interesting to see how this goes.

Michael of the beegee and Georgia Ass Face are of zero interest to me.

Someone may have mentioned this already but, Darcy’s missed call from Jessie was on January 16th. On her phone screen, right above that missed call, you can see she was texting with Jessie on New Year’s Eve.  Darcy says to Jessie in those texts: “I gave you my heart and you hurt me.” “there is nobody” “?” “What do you mean?” This was between 2 and almost five a.m. There are texts from Jessie between 1 and 2 a.m. saying the same: You broke my heart…. so what is the time frame with this new guy and why is she telling Jessie two weeks earlier that “there is nobody”? 

I’m practically only watching this season to see Darcy’s cry face and hear some more classic one liners a la, “GET OUT OF MY LIFE!” 

I’m getting so bored with all the filler conversations in stores and whatever that just rehash and say the same thing over and over. 

[Horrified]

16 hours ago, magemaud said:

God I hate the way Darcey and Stacy talk in bursts

OMG - I was just composing a post in my head about the way.....they....youknow...um......havearapidfiretorrentofdrivel......come....youknow.....truelovetwinflame...outoftheirmouths..

Their entire conversations are like spoken-word performances of vapid text messages.

[Persnickety1]

16 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I’m practically only watching this season to see Darcy’s cry face and hear some more classic one liners a la, “GET OUT OF MY LIFE!” 

Come sit by me, @configdotsys, because her ridiculously humiliating antics are what draw me in, too.

Hell, TLC could give her her own series, "The Globetrotting Manhunt with Darcy Silva," and I'd tune in.  Her total and complete lack of any self-awareness makes her so snarkworthy.  They could give her a new "conquest" every season and we could watch the hilarity ensue.  

Of course, I'm very easily entertained by imbeciles.  I used to swear if WeTV would install cameras in the Todd/Rumsey house (another bunch with zero self-awareness), I'd watch that shit 24/7 with popcorn.  

Edited August 12, 2019 by Persnickety1

[iwasish]

6 hours ago, suzeecat said:

Did anyone happen to catch Avery pretending to wash her face by splashing some water around (careful not to smear the eye makeup), then proceed to dry her face by smearing her jean jacket over her face?  I did a double take at that. 

About as long as Kylie Jenner washed her face. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

6 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

I don't think they are talking about anything. My gut is telling me that this relationship, like the one with Jesse, is fake and made for TV in an effort to keep her on the show. I wouldn't be surprised if we find out that she trolled dating sites looking for someone to be on the show with her. So what is motivating him? Who knows, 

Well, true love, of course. 

[Jennifersdc]

8 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

While Angela is certainly a trainwreck, I don't care to see her OR Darcy again.  Enough already!  I just want to avoid their scenes.  

I wonder if Ceasar really is suffering from a delusion.  

I saw an independent film once entitled The Syrian Bride. Avery should watch it.  Of course it was made in 2004, but, it gives a glimpse of what you might have dealt with BEFORE things got as they are now. It definitely has a 90 Day Fiance flare to it.  lol

I have no sympathy for Avery. There’s something called Google now. Even without ISIS, current Assad is probably as big a murderous asshole like his father. Stalin would be proud. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jennifersdc
Very very minor

[Auntie Anxiety]

49 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

Hell, TLC could give her her own series, "The Globetrotting Manhunt with Darcy Silva," and I'd tune in.  Her total and complete lack of any self-awareness makes her so snarkworthy.  They could give her a new "conquest" every season and we could watch the hilarity ensue.  

Much more entertaining and palatable than Obnoxious Kate Plus Date.

[toodles]

1 hour ago, gotta watch said:

@toodles thank you! I literally giggled til I cried!!

My pleasure 😁😁

[Persnickety1]

3 hours ago, 100Proof said:

No Darcy, you haven't changed. Haven't learned anything. Aren't empowered. You're the same 45ish year old 10 year old with lots of mental problems

Wow, Avery in that traveling getup.... she looks exactly like ET.

C'mon.... tell me she don't look like ET, lol

Except Avery can't "phone home" like ET, because the ditz forgot her phone  😄😄😄  

[Frozendiva]

1 hour ago, Horrified said:

OMG - I was just composing a post in my head about the way.....they....youknow...um......havearapidfiretorrentofdrivel......come....youknow.....truelovetwinflame...outoftheirmouths..

Their entire conversations are like spoken-word performances of vapid text messages.

If Darcey had a twin flame relationship, her life would be a daily hell. She just gets to enjoy the romanticized, not do any work on yourself part. Except get plastic surgery and such.

[MajorNelson]

2 hours ago, configdotsys said:

Someone may have mentioned this already but, Darcy’s missed call from Jessie was on January 16th. On her phone screen, right above that missed call, you can see she was texting with Jessie on New Year’s Eve.  Darcy says to Jessie in those texts: “I gave you my heart and you hurt me.” “there is nobody” “?” “What do you mean?” This was between 2 and almost five a.m. There are texts from Jessie between 1 and 2 a.m. saying the same: You broke my heart…. so what is the time frame with this new guy and why is she telling Jessie two weeks earlier that “there is nobody”? 

I saw those on screen and looked them over too.  I was wondering when these shenanigans were being filmed, and all I have is after January.  But to me, it did not look like wintery CT, so maybe later. 

The drivel of the txts were not inspiring, to me; "I gave you my heart."

[Real Housewife LI]

13 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

She lives with her sister and somebody said that is her dad's house. I believe it because CT is one of the most expensive places to live in the country and the taxes are mind blowingly insane. 

The house she lives in is worth about $600k and the taxes are $16k a year which is pretty average for the tri state area. 

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, 100Proof said:

Going past the usual Angela idiocy,  I'm perplexed as to why...and if that was a real event hosting place.... that that DJ Doug guy could, in any kind of universe, be a company's actual sales rep. Unless of course, the highest class of clientele they get around there are inbred shaggers and pig fu**ers

it's real alright. It's also a mini golf course! More info with amazing pictures over on the Angela/Michael thread. 

3 hours ago, 100Proof said:

Has anyone dug into this guys life? Can't imagine that if he does happen to have a lot of money, and especially if its from any business(es) he's built, doubt he'd be the type of person who'd put up with such a clingy immature whining basketcase like Darcy

All I've heard mention is that he's in the "fashion business" and has a cousin (yeah right) with a 60 foot yacht. 

[Mr. Miner]

I know there’s a travel ban to Syria but please make an exception for Avery. She is very easy to hate. 🖕🏻😡

[Mothra]

I hope I'm posting in the right place.  Between TLC playing fast and loose with the sequence in which they show these episodes and how they subtitle them and Drogo's valiant effort to keep things straight, I spend half an hour reading summaries before I find the place I *think* my post belongs in.

First of all, you gotta love Veronica.  I don't know that she finds Timothy attractive, but she is not going to let him off the hook as surrogate father for her daughter.  He is so fucking stupid to accept that engagement ring back, thinking it was a "kindness" for Veronica to offer it.  When Jeffiner shows up with that ring, all it takes is a smirk from Veronica to get Jeffiner what's up--"Oh, it's just that that's the ring he gave me..."

Both of these women are so much smarter than old Tim.  Does he have hair implants along the top of his forehead?

And Darcy continues to make me want to throw up.  Nothing is more attractive to a guy than acting jealous over nothing, Darce--you keep that up, girl, and make sure you explain to him ad nauseum how bad it made you feel because you've already had to go through so much.  And why the fuck doesn't she block Jesse's phone number?  Her lips are terrible; her clothing choices are embarrassing; her eyelashes defy belief; and her hair extensions are amateurish.  She really needs to get those extensions fixed before she goes anyplace.

[configdotsys]

36 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

I know there’s a travel ban to Syria but please make an exception for Avery. She is very easy to hate. 🖕🏻😡

There is no travel ban to Syria. It is a Level 4: Do Not Travel but it's just a severe warning. There is a list of things to do "If you decide to travel to Syria" on the State Department's web site, and among the top of the list is to draft a will.

[Dobian]

 

 

 

 

9 hours ago, Mothra said:

The perpetual question for me is what the hell do these people talk about when they're not mooning over how much they love each other?  Do they have anything in common beyond horniness?

In Darcey's case, she is ruled entirely by hormones.  She tips it off every time she says that she's looking for love, that she is going to find love.  She still doesn't get that's not how it works.  You meet and get to know people, and maybe you will grow to love one of them and they will love you back.  She just wants to find this abstract thing called "love", and whatever random person happens to be attached to it who is hot enough for her to jump on.

[WahooLAH99]

10 hours ago, suzeecat said:

Did anyone happen to catch Avery pretending to wash her face by splashing some water around (careful not to smear the eye makeup), then proceed to dry her face by smearing her jean jacket over her face?  I did a double take at that. 

Are jean jacket towels a thing! I had to rewind twice to try and figure out what the hell she was doing! Gross!

[100Proof]

trying to move quote blocks around and move a cursor from above one to below is impossible and infuriating

Edited August 13, 2019 by 100Proof

[magemaud]

4 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

The drivel of the txts were not inspiring, to me; "I gave you my heart."

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day, you threw it away...”

[Spike]

23 hours ago, magemaud said:

Even with his face blurred out, Rebecca’s Not Quite Ex reminds me of Mohammed! Wouldn’t that make a great plot twist! 

She looks like Tina Yothers there.

[Spike]

20 hours ago, Dobian said:

I notice he's a lot balder than in his pictures.

Because the pics are 10-15 years old.

[Spike]

14 hours ago, essexjan said:

I always LOL when I see Darcey's intro photo, standing there looking like a street corner hooker in her gold dress and white faux fur against a backdrop of bucolic Connecticut scenery. 

I don’t pray a lot but I pray if Tom ever takes her on the imaginary yacht we don’t get subjected to her in a bikini.

14 hours ago, iwasish said:

Maybe that was his way of getting Darcy to cancel her trip. She seems like the type that’s tough to shake. Remember the reunion trip with Jesse? She knew damn well meeting up in the park rather than a hotel meant she was going to get dumped.

If she really doesn’t want Jesse calling or texting her she could just block him.  She must think we all just fell off the turnip truck.

[Celia Rubenstein]

9 hours ago, blubld43 said:

I almost felt sorry for Rebecca, the shirt Zied was wearing clearly showed the difference between what she was selling and what she actually had to work with, smdh. 

My Spidey senses are telling me the producers probably had that t-shirt made and gave it to Zied to wear just to have a little fun with the filtered picture drama.

If they did, they succeeded. I know it made me laugh. How cringeworthy!

[MajorNelson]

32 minutes ago, magemaud said:

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day, you threw it away...”

They had some somewhat interesting interplay.  Darcy is saying over and over all this I gave you my heart stuff, and Jesse was saying that Darcy had a side piece, several times, and Darcy kept acting confused. and denying it.

[Spike]

10 hours ago, liammaam said:

Zied has serial killer eyes and his lips just gross me out (I don’t know why- they just look... moist).  It drives me nuts that the ladies always worry that the man will be disappointed. Zied doesn’t look like much of a catch. 

His dad has the same creepy eyes.

[Mrs. Hanson]

43 minutes ago, magemaud said:

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day, you threw it away...”

I miss George Michael.......

13 minutes ago, Spike said:

I don’t pray a lot but I pray if Tom ever takes her on the imaginary yacht we don’t get subjected to her in a bikini.

If she really doesn’t want Jesse calling or texting her she could just block him.  She must think we all just fell off the turnip truck.

Yep just block him, it is not that hard.  Darcy NEEDS drama in her life and it is so sad to watch. But yet I do......

[Spike]

8 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

A lot of people really do not like talking on the phone these days. They prefer texting or email. Having an actual conversation is rare.

Which is funny because they all prattle on in their podcasts no one listens to.

[BoomerRumor]

It just occurred to me that the traditional Qatari garment (is it "Abaya?") will disguise her age and, er, other components of Laura's appearance so Aladin can just brag on having a wife and then rip her off simultaneously. The burka-style thing is not dissimilar to Kiss! You can't tell how old the guys under the makeup are. Friggin' brilliant. That band really planned ahead.

[Spike]

Tote mah eggs!

[iwasish]

16 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I miss George Michael.......

Yep just block him, it is not that hard.  Darcy NEEDS drama in her life and it is so sad to watch. But yet I do......

Or just change her number. 

[Spike]

3 minutes ago, iwasish said:

Or just change her number. 

But if Tom dumps her she needs to be able to “try to make it work” with Jesse.

[Honey]

11 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

To be fair, he didn't buy a CZ ring, but a "manufactured" diamond, which is far far better thing, just not a natural diamond.  You can get a bigger stone via manufactured then natural.  He stated his goal was to get as big a one as he could for her (because ?she'd expect a big stone).

That's the only way he'll get her to meet with him (if she really exists at all).  He needs to show her the "diamond" and tell her that he absolutely won't send it through the mail.   If she wants it, she needs to accept it IN PERSON.

[sonder]

Darcey’s “friend” with her cleavage flash and her comments to Darcey’s “man.” Odd! 

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Spike said:

I don’t pray a lot but I pray if Tom ever takes her on the imaginary yacht we don’t get subjected to her in a bikini.

I don’t see Darcey as the bikini type. I picture her more in a black one piece, very high cut on the sides with mesh cut outs. 

[Baltimore Betty]

8 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I miss George Michael.......

Yep just block him, it is not that hard.  Darcy NEEDS drama in her life and it is so sad to watch. But yet I do......

She suffers from NDD, Need for Drama Disorder.

[BluBrd47]

5 hours ago, magemaud said:

I don’t see Darcey as the bikini type. I picture her more in a black one piece, very high cut on the sides with mesh cut outs. 

That’s exactly what I see her wearing, with a Chanel or LV logo across the chest or patterned across the body.

[Mr. Miner]

The filming of Angela in HD on her way to the Cotton Patch, was horrifying.

[100Proof]

10 hours ago, Spike said:

If she really doesn’t want Jesse calling or texting her she could just block him. 

Jesse needs to be blocked alright...... with an actual cinder block