S15.E19: Silent All These Years

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Quote

When a trauma patient arrives at Grey Sloan, it forces Jo to confront her past. Meanwhile, Bailey and Ben have to talk to Tuck about dating.

Original Canadian air date: 3/27/19
Original U.S. air date: 3/28/19

[ElectricBoogaloo]

This week's musical inspiration:

[BaseOps]

I thought this episode was brilliant. It was a really powerful bottle episode that could have come off as heavy-handed but was handled with care. It was also important to the story - this has felt like a long time coming for Jo. The scenes with her mother and the patient were all really great and incredibly intense. Camilla, Kim, and the guest actresses were all phenomenal. Some bits were tough to watch, but it was an important episode. I totally get why it has the Viewer Discretion warnings. I loved the bits with Tuck, too. Particularly the last bit with Ben. 

I'm interested to see how all of this affects Jo going forward.

[Pepper the Cat]

Wow. This was a great episode. It has been a long time since I cried over a Greys episode but the scene of all the female staff lining the hall as the patient was wheeled to surgery destroyed me.

Also have to add that the limited sound track was very effective

[funnygirl]

That... was not the most powerful episode of the series, despite Krista and the media's insistence. 

Absolutely a powerful, tough and important subject matter. But as far as execution goes, this at times felt gratuitous and a little after school special-y. There are episodes where the show has done a lot more with less in more nuanced and authentic ways.  I'd appreciate if this new era of Grey's Anatomy stopped telling me how I'm supposed to feel. 

And, really? Jo's biological half siblings are named Alexandra and Josh? 

Perhaps an unpopular opinion. YMMV.

[statsgirl]

I liked the scenes with Jo and her mother.  Michelle Forbes touched my heart even when I didn't agree with the character's actions. Jo's reaction felt less authentic to me; did she really not anticipate that the person who gave her up wouldn't welcome her with open arms?

I initially liked the story of Jo with Abby.  And then it turned into bad therapy with Teddy too many times talking about not taking away her autonomy and Jo too impetuous. The Abby actress was so believable that I kept thinking that Jo and Teddy need to bring in someone who actually knows what she is doing. I'm used to TV showing bad therapy that cures the patient because it's in the script. But this just went on and on.

The line-up en route to the elevator was the worst for me -- the woman has been traumatized, she doesn't want to talk about it and now she has to go through two long lines of complete strangers looking at her.  Maybe they're judging her, we know that didn't know why they are there at all. I just kept thinking, for someone who was genuinely traumatized and ashamed, this is going to make it even more traumatic for her.

I also liked the scene with Tuck and Ben in the beginning. And then they kept hammering and hammering at consent instead of mentioning it and then adding another element like "wear a condom", and with the A and B consent stories and now this one becoming all about consent it was just overkill and lost me.

I don't mind when Grey's goes soap opera. But trying to manipulate me is a total turn-off. A fail by writer Elizabeth Finch.

[Lady Calypso]

I did like this episode. Maybe not the most powerful episode in the series, but certainly more powerful than all the other "most powerful episodes" that Krista has said about countless other episodes. For once, I do think that this is one of the better episodes in the last few seasons. 

Jo's scenes with her mother were the best part. Maybe it's because I can somewhat relate, or maybe it's because it was a plot that felt more realistic. I just like how the whole thing was messy and raw. How she treated Alex at the end was brutal to watch because it reflected back to what she told her mother about pushing people away. Michelle Forbes was amazing as Jo's mother. Her story was tough to listen to. 

6 minutes ago, statsgirl said:

I liked the scenes with Jo and her mother.  Michelle Forbes touched my heart even when I didn't agree with the character's actions. Jo's reaction felt less authentic to me; did she really not anticipate that the person who gave her up wouldn't welcome her with open arms?

I don't think Jo was ever looking for her to welcome her with open arms. From what I gathered, Jo went in already with an agenda. She was going to tell her mother exactly what was on her mind, maybe find out about her father, and then try to get any information about her history to see if it would help with the pain that she suffered all her life. Her expectations were higher than they should have been, sure, but I think she was taken aback with how normal her mother was. Her expectation was more out of hope that there'd be an answer about why she was abandoned at a fire station that would satisfy her. 

In the end, there'd be no true answer that would have satisfied her. It didn't help that her mother had two kids, a husband, a dog, and a nice house, and that just fueled her anger. And I did like how angry she got for a while. It wasn't a sunshine and rainbows meeting. That's why it felt more real to me. Her anger was justified, but she also stayed to listen and she did soften up by the end, though it still affected her badly. 

Jo's reaction made perfect sense to me. I mean, as a child of adoption, I can relate to wondering about where my biological family is and creating different types of scenarios and hoping for a reason that would make sense to me. But in the end, it's unlikely to turn out well and I think Jo knew that, which is why she went without Alex. 

I could have done with more of Jo and her mother. Not that Jo's scenes with her patient were bad. I actually thought the actress was perfect in the role. I did think the line-up of women was a tad cheesy, but I wasn't overly bothered by it by the end. 

The Tuck/Ben/Bailey stuff was something I didn't think was necessarily needed, until I figured out the purpose of connecting it to the overall stories in this episode. So that they could provide a male POV, in a sense about consent. 

Really, if the entire episode was just Jo confronting her mother, that would have made it the best episode of the season. 

Overall, definitely one of the better episodes this season. Camilla Luddington did an amazing job. I hope Jo doesn't push Alex away too much. I think she could benefit from her own advice to her patient and actually get to talk to Alex, or at least someone. 

[maggiegil]

56 minutes ago, statsgirl said:

The line-up en route to the elevator was the worst for me -- the woman has been traumatized, she doesn't want to talk about it and now she has to go through two long lines of complete strangers looking at her.  Maybe they're judging her, we know that didn't know why they are there at all. I just kept thinking, for someone who was genuinely traumatized and ashamed, this is going to make it even more traumatic for her.

100%, it was bizarre and I there is no way it would have been helpful for someone as traumatized as that. I agree with what others have said that I hate it when Greys trys to bash me over the head with a theme, I got the idea of women supporting other women from the scenes with the patient and Jo and Teddy, the guard of honor wasn't necessary.

The most powerful moment for me was when Jo went to take her Mothers hand and she pulled away. I hope that isn't the last we see of Michelle Forbes, she did a great job but unless Greys repeats the Izzy's daughter needs a bone marrow transplant scenario, its the last we'll see of her. It would be interesting if a sibling from her Fathers side tracked Jo down through her DNA profile or something

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Both Abby’s story and Jo's mom’s story had me crying because this shit happens every single day. Jo’s mom was an example of how you can get therapy and move on but that experience never leaves you. Abby’s reasons for not wanting to do a rape kit are why so many women stay silent and don’t press charges. I’m not judging her for it either because everything she said was valid. 

The gauntlet of women in the hallway was supposed to be because Abby said she saw her rapist’s face so they were providing her with female faces for her to see on her way to surgery. I get the idea behind it (and I’m sure the show wanted the visual imagery to remind us that the 1 in 6 women in America has been the victim of rape or attempted rape, but my two reactions were (1) who is taking care of all the patients in the hospital if that many of the employees are standing in the hallway? and (2) they could have given Abby a male-free journey to the OR by just emptying the hallway. 

[GSMHvisitor]

It wasn't a bad episode, but definitely way overhyped. Flashbacks were good, both actresses delivered, but the big reveal was predictable, so there was no surprise there.

The present day story was too heavy-handed for my taste, especially the lkne of women in the end. It made me roll my eyes, also because I knew it was supposed to make me cry. I think someone upthread mentioned it already - I, too, do not like being told by a show how to feel.

Some of the dialogue was too much "in your face" for me, in both the flashbacks and the present day story. Felt like the writers were desperately trying to educate and lecture the audience and get their message across. Which is fine as such, but it wasn't subtle at all.

I feel like this episode was much more about raising awareness and getting the consent message across than about Jo as a character. I don't really feel like I know her better now and I felt the same way when they finally addressed her abusive husband that came out of nowhere. The fact that she completely shut down after meeting her mother just adds to that. Because if she doesn't talk with anyone we won't know her thoughts and feelings. I hope she does open up to Alex eventually.

The only surprise the episode had to offer is the fact that Jo had an abortion while she was married to Paul. You'd think she would have mentioned that to Alex when they previously talked about what she'd been through with her first husband, but then again we've never actually seen Jo and Alex have a talk about Paul, so I guess not. But Alex and Jo have talked about kids before and apparently it didn't come up then either. The abortion secret per se doesn't bother me so much, but between identity change, abusive husband and and abortion the secrets are piling up. There's so much Alex didn't or doesn't know about Jo and I don't like it. I hope she finally opens up about things to Alex. I get that she didn't want to talk about her mother instantly, but I hope it won't be dragged out for too long.

On a minor note, Alex's time as chief is over now. The fact that it was randomly revealed in his conversation with Jo is almost like a metaphor for this whole story (if you can even call it that). It was random and had no purpose whatsoever. I'm tired of these "alibi" storylines for Alex that are only there so he's occupied with something, but get little screentime and are essentially meaningless for him as a character.

[dmc]

I have A LOT to say

First and foremost, this is the reason they have agencies for you to leave your information if you are searching for a parent or a child.  It protects the privacy of both parties as opposed to showing up on their doorstep unannounced.  There are a lot of reasons people give children up for adoption or otherwise.  Second, if you did want to contact them a letter is your best option.  My family has been through something similar.  It should be a victim’s choice whether to tell her family she was raped.  I get that her circumstances were terrible growing up but she was still OUT of line.  Especially blaming this woman whom she doesn’t know for her abuse with her husband.   These are issues she needs to work out with a therapist not project on a complete stranger.  

Jo has a lot of issues.  From being abandoned, to abused, to secretly keeping a gun, to keeping things from Alex.  Hopefully she will go get the therapy she needs to move on.  

Edited March 28, 2019 by dmc

[statsgirl]

17 hours ago, Lady Calypso said:

I don't think Jo was ever looking for her to welcome her with open arms. From what I gathered, Jo went in already with an agenda. She was going to tell her mother exactly what was on her mind, maybe find out about her father, and then try to get any information about her history to see if it would help with the pain that she suffered all her life. Her expectations were higher than they should have been, sure, but I think she was taken aback with how normal her mother was. Her expectation was more out of hope that there'd be an answer about why she was abandoned at a fire station that would satisfy her.

Really, if the entire episode was just Jo confronting her mother, that would have made it the best episode of the season.

It all made sense but it should have played out over several episodes rather than one of three stories in a single episode.

5 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

The gauntlet of women in the hallway was supposed to be because Abby said she saw her rapist’s face so they were providing her with female faces for her to see on her way to surgery.

If that was the reason then imaging/hypnosis could have provided her with an alternative, safe place for her to see instead of these two rows of strangers who she may think are judging her. That's the benefit of having a psychologist/psychiatrist be there to talk to Abby, not Teddy or Jo who don't know what they're doing.

I'm sure they thought it was a great idea in the writers room but the execution was problematic.

Edited March 28, 2019 by statsgirl

[dmc]

6 minutes ago, statsgirl said:

It all made sense but it should have played out over several episodes rather than one of three stories in a single episode.

If that was the reason then imaging/hypnosis could have provided her with an alternative, safe place for her too see. That's the benefit of having a psychologist/psychiatrist be there to talk to Abby, not Teddy or Jo who don't know what they're doing.

I'm sure they thought it was a great idea in the writers room but the reality was problematic.

Maybe I read it wrong or maybe the show doesn’t give Jo enough screen time for me to decipher but my sense from the episodes where Jo was trying to find her family was she was interested in getting to know them.  When she started in the diner on her mother, I was sort of shocked 😕 

I also was shocked that not one person on the show expressed any doubt that her showing up there might be a bad idea.  I mean Meredith was not exactly thrilled to meet Maggie or Lacey and neither situation was as traumatic as this.  I kept waiting for Maggie, Meredith  or even Alex to be like maybe exercise some caution.

Edited March 28, 2019 by dmc

[Joana]

21 hours ago, funnygirl said:

That... was not the most powerful episode of the series, despite Krista and the media's insistence. 

It would have probably been a lot more powerful if they hadn't tried so desperately hard to make it as powerful as possible. I was actually pleasantly surprised that no character started reciting the stats about rape rates worldwide or gave a lecture on how terrible rape is, but of course, this is Grey's, so they have to do something completely ridiculous like that line-up of women. This show really does have the subtlety of a bull in a china shop. And really, the entire hospital staff abandoning their daily duties in order to cater to a single patient is such a tired trope at this point. I also didn't care about Ben's talk to Tuck in the end. I get where they were going with it, but it felt way too heavy-handed. 

Jo's scenes with her mother were definitely the highlight of the episode. I've loved Michelle Forbes since Homicide and she did a great job here. I also wonder if Jo talked to anyone before going to Pittsburgh. She should have, as her expectations definitely seemed a bit too high. What I didn't like is how, even after the woman told her the entire story of her conception, she still kept pushing the "You should have known/done better" angle. You'd think someone with her background would be able to relate a bit more. And speaking of, could they possibly make her backstory even MORE tragic? Not only was she an unwanted child, she was also a product of rape. Not only was she abandoned, but she was never able to be adopted. Not only did her foster homes suck, but they sucked so much she was better off living by herself in her car. Not only does the man she fall in love with it turns out to be abusive, but the abuse she endures is so bad that she has to run away and change her identity. And on top of it all, we now find out that she also had an abortion. It's all simply way too much now and I really hope we're done with those shocking revelations about her past. 

I hope she talks to Alex soon and opens up to him, and that this storyline will have a proper resolution, unlike the convenient, deus-ex-machina ending of Paul's storyline. 

Edited March 29, 2019 by Joana

[JTM]

One thing I don't get about Jo's story.

Healthy newborn infant. I don't care if she 'handed over to an adoption agency' or left on the steps of a fire station -- no healthy newborn infant is spending more time in foster care than it takes for the next couple lined up for adoption to sign the papers.

I'm in Canada, but I can't believe it's so different here. Healthy newborn infant with NO presenting parents, no grieving mother just waiting to be released from prison, or grieving teenager who changes her mind -- that baby's adopted in a heartbeat.

[anna0852]

I thought the consent talk with Tuck was pretty well done (although I prefer John Oliver's definition: if both boxers haven't agreed to participate, then one of them is commiting a crime) but Ben left out that Tuck's consent is important too. He can say 'game over' at any time as well. I think it's important to say that *both* parties have to give consent.

[SimoneS]

Typical overwrought Grey's episode, but I always enjoy Michelle Forbes. She has come such a long way since she played twins, Sonni and Solita on Guiding Light in the late 80s.

I did enjoy Ben's talk with Tuck about respect and consent. Nice to see a Black man bonding with his son over such an important issue on tv.

Edited March 29, 2019 by SimoneS

[PepSinger]

I really appreciated what the episode tried to do. The flashback scenes were terrific. The actor playing Abby was excellent. I did think some of the dialogue was a bit too obvious; subtlety is your friend.

I do have one significant nitpick. Teddy, Jo, and Qadri would NOT be doing a rape kit on anyone. There’s this thing called a SANE — Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. Now, not every hospital has one, but GSM is surely big enough to have one if not several. These nurses are trained to perform sexual assault examination. So many TV shows get this wrong, and I don’t understand it. It’s important that the SANE does it because if evidence isn’t collected correctly, it could be inadmissible in court. As someone who’s unfortunately had to be seen by a SANE, this bugged me. Also, Abby would’ve had an advocate as well.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I agree with the poster who said it's ridiculous that Jo spent her life in foster care.   The courts would have terminated the parental rights, and she would have been adopted.     The mother also could have asked for a social worker, signed the baby over with the phony name, and left.      I agree that Jo was way too angry and aggressive.  

At least they didn't go back to a father that was related to someone else on Grey's, that would have been too soap opera even for me to swallow.  

Good point about the rape kits, no way the doctors would have done it.  

The Ben and Tuck talk was very good.     

It was good to see Michelle Forbes again, I always wondered what happened to Ensign Ro after Star Trek Next Generation ended, so I guess time travel to here?  

[Kippy]

This show is exhausting now. It is never story driven but rather agenda driven. I don’t have a problem with pushing certain ideas but ever episode highlights some current issue with very little subtlety. I’m sad and miss early greys.

[WhosThatGirl]

22 hours ago, funnygirl said:

That... was not the most powerful episode of the series, despite Krista and the media's insistence. 

Absolutely a powerful, tough and important subject matter. But as far as execution goes, this at times felt gratuitous and a little after school special-y. There are episodes where the show has done a lot more with less in more nuanced and authentic ways.  I'd appreciate if this new era of Grey's Anatomy stopped telling me how I'm supposed to feel. 

And, really? Jo's biological half siblings are named Alexandra and Josh? 

Perhaps an unpopular opinion. YMMV.

This. It’s a tragic storyline that needs to be told but something about this episode felt off. Maybe because I felt like I was being told on screen to feel something and all I kind of felt was this episode was very hyped up. Or maybe I’m desensitized because I watch many shows that use this real life  theme and that has hindered me to fully appreciate this.

It did remind me of the one shondaland show that got this storyline so well and made me cry, private practice. That episode where one of the characters has this happen broke me. This for some reason I couldn’t.

[preeya]

This one reeked of L&O SVU. 

Calling Saint Olivia Benson. . . . . . . . . . .

[ForeverAlone]

Since Jo has been on the show for years, maybe this already came up and I just forgot, but the question came up for me again while watching this episode? Was there an explanation for why Jo grew up in foster homes and wasn't adopted out? I mean, healthy infants are typically a premium for adoption. So it seems odd that she never was. 

[CarpeFelis]

1 hour ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

It was good to see Michelle Forbes again, I always wondered what happened to Ensign Ro after Star Trek Next Generation ended, so I guess time travel to here?  

She was also a maenad on True Blood.

[jcbrown]

As a suvrvivor of marital sexual abuse and as a former advocate for survivors (subsequently), this episode made me cry.

[izabella]

So Teddy is up and around no problem after her baby emergency last episode?  I thought it was dangerous?  I must have missed how that was resolved.

Jo's backstory has always been one big pile of confusion, so I tuned it out long ago, but I thought this was a good episode. 

[NUguy514]

This episode...it was...

Michelle Forbes and Khalilah Joi were both phenomenal.  However, the writers needed to pull back about 217% because they were trying so hard to make this episode The Most Important Hour Of Television Ever that it was just too over-the-top and diminished the impact quite a bit.

Jo's anger also felt really disconsonant to me; I guess I'm not sure why Jo just didn't start with "Why did you give me up?" or something to that effect and go from there.  She seemed in previous episodes to have wanted to find her mother in order to gather information about her past, but then she finds her and just seems to want to yell at and punish her, even after her mother told her about the rape.  Jo's attitude just didn't feel quite right to me throughout those scenes, and part of me thinks Camilla Luddington wasn't buying Jo's state of mind either because she was so much better and more authentic when Jo was listening openly and not judgmentally.

[PepSinger]

14 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

I get the idea behind it (and I’m sure the show wanted the visual imagery to remind us that the 1 in 6 women in America has been the victim of rape or attempted rape, but my two reactions were (1) who is taking care of all the patients in the hospital if that many of the employees are standing in the hallway?

As someone asked in last week's episode thread, does anyone in this hospital actually have work to do??

[chocolatine]

I kind of understood Jo's irrational anger at her birth mother, even though it was jarring to watch. She's carrying so much hurt over her childhood, of course she was going to let it out. 

I thought it was interesting that when she was telling her birth mother about the life she has now, she said "I have a job that I love, friends who I love, and a husband who loves me" - not "husband who I love". I wonder whether that, along with her shutting Alex out, is a premonition of serious trouble in their marriage. I really hope not, but this show can never let a couple be happy for long.

[dmc]

2 hours ago, chocolatine said:

I kind of understood Jo's irrational anger at her birth mother, even though it was jarring to watch. She's carrying so much hurt over her childhood, of course she was going to let it out. 

I thought it was interesting that when she was telling her birth mother about the life she has now, she said "I have a job that I love, friends who I love, and a husband who loves me" - not "husband who I love". I wonder whether that, along with her shutting Alex out, is a premonition of serious trouble in their marriage. I really hope not, but this show can never let a couple be happy for long.

I think it’s indicative of issues Alex and Jo never really worked through before they got married.  They had a lot of problems which were never actually resolved.  Jo hid a lot from Alex her gun, her ex husband, her past history of abuse.   Now she’s married and found out she was a product of a rape and she’s not telling him that either.  She has a hard time confiding in Alex for some reason.  

[ElectricBoogaloo]

6 hours ago, ForeverAlone said:

Since Jo has been on the show for years, maybe this already came up and I just forgot, but the question came up for me again while watching this episode? Was there an explanation for why Jo grew up in foster homes and wasn't adopted out? I mean, healthy infants are typically a premium for adoption. So it seems odd that she never was. 

Not just a healthy infant either. She was a white healthy newborn. That's like the adoption trifecta. It's harder to get people to adopt older kids, non-white kids, or kids with health issues. Jo should have had prospective adoptive families lining up to adopt her.

[DEL901]

1 hour ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Not just a healthy infant either. She was a white healthy newborn. That's like the adoption trifecta. It's harder to get people to adopt older kids, non-white kids, or kids with health issues. Jo should have had prospective adoptive families lining up to adopt her.

It would have made more sense if she'd been adopted, the couple split up and a step-parent was abusive and she ended up in the foster care system.

[readster]

3 hours ago, dmc said:

I think it’s indicative of issues Alex and Jo never really worked through before they got married.  They had a lot of problems which were never actually resolved.  Jo hid a lot from Alex her gun, her ex husband, her past history of abuse.   Now she’s married and found out she was a product of a rape and she’s not telling him that either.  She has a hard time confiding in Alex for some reason.  

No kidding, and she tells Alex: "I'm just tired and I'm done, I'm going home." Dammit, Jo! Come on. This is the type of stuff you talk to your husband about. When she said you had an abortion, I completely got where she was coming from but then says: "I never told anyone that." That is something you know, you TELL your husband about. 

[dmc]

12 minutes ago, readster said:

No kidding, and she tells Alex: "I'm just tired and I'm done, I'm going home." Dammit, Jo! Come on. This is the type of stuff you talk to your husband about. When she said you had an abortion, I completely got where she was coming from but then says: "I never told anyone that." That is something you know, you TELL your husband about. 

Agreed and I find it hard to believe she will confide in Linc either next week.  They didn’t keep in touch and he didn’t know about her abusive ex either.   

I keep seeing comments from people saying that women don’t have to share their stories and it’s part of consent.  I would agree they are not obligated to.  But your relationships will suffer as a result and you cannot expect support from someone in the dark.  

Edited March 29, 2019 by dmc

[RedbirdNelly]

I was surprised but this episode made me cry. That doesn't happen often with Grey's. The line up was moving. The actress playing Abby was great.

That being said, I agree with others that this had the usual level of subtle storytelling that we expect from Grey's. As subtle as a hammer to your head. While crying, I did think "looks like they are borrowing from that hospital that does a line up for organ donors being taken to surgery" and "this is not realistic."

Also found the dialogue to lack any kind of nuance and to be heavy handed--Teddy tossing in agency while for some reason telling intern doctor whose name I still don't know to go book the OR and then come straight back--because apparently there are no phones in the hospital and she has to run to the OR to book it.

Jo's behavior in the mom meeting seemed out of place and I blame that on years of bad writing for Jo. There is no backstory/character development that led us to expect her to be so hostile from the get go. I get raw emotions--but I expected someone like Jo who wants the conversation to happen and wants her mom to not just bolt to start off a bit less hostile. It's just smart conversation 101. Ask open ended questions/don't accuse so you can build some rapport and make it less like mom takes off with zero answers. As the conversation develops, you might end up being hostile but to start there when mom is not the person wanting or starting this meeting??

If they had written Jo consistently and with more depth over the years, I may have felt differently. I also agree they continue to pile on stuff for Jo and I got tired of her working in details of her beatings with Abby. It's not about you, Jo.

Also, I think Teddy should have told her "what you did should be protocol--except that part where based on nothing you accused Abby's husband of raping and beating her." Very weird for Jo to just start with "I think your husband did this." How about "I think someone attacked you" while keeping the possibility it was husband in the back of her mind?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

29 minutes ago, dmc said:

I keep seeing comments from people saying that women don’t have to share their stories and it’s part of consent.  I would agree they are not obligated to.  But your relationships will suffer as a result and you cannot expect support from someone in the dark.  

Jo isn't obligated to share any of her story with Alex, married or not, but what she does owe him is the briefest of explanations. All she had to say was, "I'm not ready to talk about what happened yet, so please give me some time and space." If your spouse/partner/friend is at all empathetic, they will hear you and respect those boundaries.

[dmc]

Just now, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Jo isn't obligated to share any of her story with Alex, married or not, but what she does owe him is the briefest of explanations. All she had to say was, "I'm not ready to talk about what happened yet, so please give me some time and space." If your spouse/partner/friend is at all empathetic, they will hear you and respect those boundaries.

I agree with you.  I also agree that she should’ve articulated that boundary better.  

[RedbirdNelly]

6 minutes ago, dmc said:

I agree with you.  I also agree that she should’ve articulated that boundary better.  

I think it's bad writing for them to not at least have her say that. It's a pretty obvious thing to say. "I'm not ready to talk right now." is an expected thing given how they've previously written them as a couple (at least recently)

[dmc]

4 minutes ago, RedbirdNelly said:

I think it's bad writing for them to not at least have her say that. It's a pretty obvious thing to say. "I'm not ready to talk right now." is an expected thing given how they've previously written them as a couple (at least recently)

Also agree but I feel that way about her approach with her mother it felt out of nowhere. 

[marceline]

13 hours ago, JTM said:

One thing I don't get about Jo's story.

Healthy newborn infant. I don't care if she 'handed over to an adoption agency' or left on the steps of a fire station -- no healthy newborn infant is spending more time in foster care than it takes for the next couple lined up for adoption to sign the papers.

I'm in Canada, but I can't believe it's so different here. Healthy newborn infant with NO presenting parents, no grieving mother just waiting to be released from prison, or grieving teenager who changes her mind -- that baby's adopted in a heartbeat.

Especially a healthy white baby girl. You'd have prospective parents fighting each other with sharpened rocks to adopt. 

I found this a decent hour of television but that pulled me right out of it. Also, I think it sent an unfortunate message about Safe Haven laws. 

[Layne]

4 hours ago, dmc said:

Jo hid a lot from Alex her gun, her ex husband, her past history of abuse. 

Her name!

[dmc]

3 minutes ago, Layne said:

Her name!

I forgot about this.  Also the night she got into that altercation with that other guy I don’t remember her being forthcoming either.  

[jschoolgirl]

Please remind - how just Linc know Jo? Med school?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

6 minutes ago, jschoolgirl said:

Please remind - how just Linc know Jo? Med school?

They went to school together and they also worked at the same restaurant while they were in school.

[esco1822]

1 hour ago, RedbirdNelly said:

Also found the dialogue to lack any kind of nuance and to be heavy handed--Teddy tossing in agency while for some reason telling intern doctor whose name I still don't know to go book the OR and then come straight back--because apparently there are no phones in the hospital and she has to run to the OR to book it.

I actually had no problem with this as Teddy wanted her to explain to the staff why they should not prep the patient immediately. Yeah you could have that conversation in a loud, busy hallway but I appreciated the fact that they treated the situation with extra sensitivity and really protected this woman and her story until she was ready to tell it. 

[readster]

1 hour ago, dmc said:

Agreed and I find it hard to believe she will confide in Linc either next week.  They didn’t keep in touch and he didn’t know about her abusive ex either.   

I keep seeing comments from people saying that women don’t have to share their stories and it’s part of consent.  I would agree they are not obligated to.  But your relationships will suffer as a result and you cannot expect support from someone in the dark.  

The problem was that Linc confessed to Alex that he did notice her ex was controlling and even saw bruises and being that he was study ortho he knew they weren't self inflicted. However his excuse was: "he was a well known doctor and I was afraid to say anything." Which Alex replied; "If it would have been me and I knew, I would have kicked his ass and not cared about the consequences." Which just painted Linc like a classic: "Don't ask, don't tell." It made things even more stupid because when it was all said and done, Jo's ex might have been a well known doctor, but apparently people knew he had a bad temper and was an asshole. Yet brushed it off as: "he's a doctor." 

[Guest]

That was a horrible episode, in my opinion.

It felt like it was trying so hard to be a super powerful episode that it just went straight into melodrama. It’s a hugely important subject so I was disappointed. It was obvious from the preview/commercials that Jo was conceived in a rape. So that also didn’t help. 

The women watching her go to surgery was not impactful because it was like the writers were hanging up a glowing neon sign saying “WATCH THESE WOMEN SUPPORT WOMEN!!!  LOOK HERE!”

[MrWhyt]

11 minutes ago, readster said:

The problem was that Linc confessed to Alex that he did notice her ex was controlling and even saw bruises and being that he was study ortho he knew they weren't self inflicted. However his excuse was: "he was a well known doctor and I was afraid to say anything." Which Alex replied; "If it would have been me and I knew, I would have kicked his ass and not cared about the consequences." Which just painted Linc like a classic: "Don't ask, don't tell." It made things even more stupid because when it was all said and done, Jo's ex might have been a well known doctor, but apparently people knew he had a bad temper and was an asshole. Yet brushed it off as: "he's a doctor." 

no Linc specifically said that he didn't know about the abuse and that if he did he would have done something.

[marceline]

On 3/29/2019 at 10:20 AM, Layne said:

Her name!

That was something else that annoyed me. She's upset that her mother never tried to find her but when she shows up to the door she introduces herself as Jo Karev and not Brooke Whatever Her Last Name was. She's using an identity that was designed to keep her from being found instead of the childhood identity that a birth mother might have been given.

Edited April 3, 2019 by marceline

[dmc]

18 minutes ago, readster said:

The problem was that Linc confessed to Alex that he did notice her ex was controlling and even saw bruises and being that he was study ortho he knew they weren't self inflicted. However his excuse was: "he was a well known doctor and I was afraid to say anything." Which Alex replied; "If it would have been me and I knew, I would have kicked his ass and not cared about the consequences." Which just painted Linc like a classic: "Don't ask, don't tell." It made things even more stupid because when it was all said and done, Jo's ex might have been a well known doctor, but apparently people knew he had a bad temper and was an asshole. Yet brushed it off as: "he's a doctor." 

Linc told Alex he had no idea but that he never cared for him.