S08.E11: My Little Secret

[configdotsys]

54 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

I somehow missed this...what exactly did he say?  Was it at the restaurant or in the house?

It was at the house and after Stephanie went to bed because she was "tired." He said something very close to "Can I ask you guys a question because it's been bothering me. Are any of you upset because we're doing good?" Everyone said no and then he said, "I feel bad. But we wung it..." 

Edited March 14, 2019 by configdotsys

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, configdotsys said:

strenuous objections to a shower caddy because it makes them feel closed in has issues. 

Ha! When AJ said he hated “those things”, my husband piped in that he hates them too (we don’t have one). When I asked why, he said it got in his way when he was rinsing shampoo out of his hair and he thought it was hard to get the bottles in and out! 😋

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

As far as Kate and Luke go, I think he is faking the drama after they have sex. That is why he basically had to talk her into it the last several times claiming he wasn't going to do it again only for it to be a lie. Now there could be an underlying issue. Maybe he is into something super kinky that is a turnoff to most people and he doesn't want to bring it up. But I think it is just that he is an asshole. 

OMG, I had the same freaking thought!!!  I'm glad it's not just me.  I actually knew a guy that could only really enjoy sex with a woman if she was into the same kink as him.  If not, he called her nice but too "vanilla" for him.  I was too vanilla for him, lol.  He sabotaged every relationship with every woman that he felt was in that category, which was just about everyone.  Then thanks to the internet coming into existence he eventually met women online that shared his kink.  What would make me wonder about Luke is that if he knew he had such a specific deal breaker why would he sign up for a show like this when he knew he might not be matched with someone that could go there with him?  Kate seems like the very definition of vanilla to me.  Who knows?  Maybe for some reason he wanted to meet someone vanilla because he was conflicted about his kink, but when given that reality he couldn't be happy with it no matter how he tried.

Edited March 14, 2019 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I used to go to Paradise Stream one of the four Caesars resorts but never stayed in the room with the champagne glass. I remember making pizza and playing trivia and stuff. It was nice. They used to deliver breakfast to the room if you did not want to go to the dining room. You filled out a little card with a pencil and checked off what you wanted. I used to write 2 coffees and extra bacon and got it every time. Fun times.  

Ah, I remember all of that.  I used to order extra bacon too, LOL.  I think I went to Pocono Gardens once too.  I know, I went to the Poconos a lot.  Hubbie and I liked our romantic getaways.  We won a "newlywed" kind of game there once.  All we got were t-shirts and mugs plus a nice photo of us, but it was a fun.  Of course, we weren't newlyweds and knew each other very well.

14 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I could just see my hubs and I in the champagne glass now, haha.  Probably wouldn’t fit in.  It was a great week tho, horseback riding, making pizza with the other couples, etc.  nice atmosphere then.  Have to go again one of these weekends and remember then and now.  Big difference.  My “then” pic is my profile, minus about 100 pounds, lol.  Ah, youth.

Nice, photo, you look beautiful in it - Hubbie looks a lot like my FIL when he was young.

[Mazzy]

On 3/12/2019 at 10:12 PM, Soup333 said:

They should fire the experts for this fail of a season. 

I seriously could not agree more with this!!! These "experts are truly the worst. How many actual successes have they had with all seasons combined? Or, because divorce is pretty prevalent in our society I'll even take: how many couples that chose to stay together on D Day actually SEEMED like they were going to make it at least? Two, maybe three at best? What are we on, the forth season now?? The "experts" are literally terrible at this.

[Mazzy]

This episode.. UukUghGah! It was a train wreck!!

Kate and Luke: That was a shock, but I don't feel any differently about Kate 'manning up' and leaving Luke. He doesn't like her. It's no secret. She's desperate. There is a comment above about how she would be a battered wife if she was with a man who beats women and I agree completely with that! She's the idiot who says "he says he won't do it again" after the 454th beating. And now we are blaming Dr. Pepper?? Look, I think these "experts" are abject failures and have no love for them at all, but after five weeks does anyone consider that maybe Dr. Pepper is just like 'okay, whatever Kate. You could be an adult and leave or you can keep fishing for someone to tell you it's a good relationship when we all see it isn't'. Maybe Dr. Pepper is just over listening to Kate cry about a relationship where the issue is crystal clear - he isn't attracted to her. Period. That's it. That's all. He isn't gay. He isn't some mastermind sociopath. He's an asshole, sure. But it all boils down to one thing: he isn't interested in the whiny, clingy, desperate, immature little girl that is Kate. Right now Kate is a person staring at leaves and everyone, including the experts, are saying 'yes, honey, the leaves are green' and Kate is saying 'but I'd like them to be blue', and no matter how many times they say "the fucking leaves are green you dipshit!' she comes back with 'yeah... but they COULD be blue'. I'm over sympathy for Kate.

Jasmine and Will: I don't think Will is boring, I just think Jasmine is dumb, in the traditional sense of the word, and Will is smart, in the traditional sense of the word, and frankly dumb people aren't interesting or attractive to smart people even if that other person would be considered traditionally attractive. They are a terrible match and that kiss was just squick!

Aj and Stephanie: Clearly Stephanie is patient and willing to learn how to ignore Aj's mood swings for the benefit of their marriage. I don't really see a problem with that on Stephanie's end because I feel she is very mature about it. I feel she has weighed what she sees as the benefits of Aj as a husband and decided that she enjoys him enough outside of his faults that she is willing to accept his faults even if they have to work on them. Aj is clearly a spoiled child who never learned that he can't have everything his way. I knew the second they went to pottery class all he wanted was to weirdly reenact the movie scene from Ghost; it was so obviously, and then he did exactly that and you could tell Stephanie was humoring him but wasn't into it (her body language was leaning WAY forward away from him as much as she could). But I still think these two will work out, at least for a while after the show, because I think Stephanie feels the good outweighs the bad with this man.

I can't remember the last couple's names but I have come around to agreeing with others that the girl here should have been paired with Will. I think that would have been an excellent match actually. Too bad. A "near miss" there for some real potential.


 

[humbleopinion]

Pottery Lady and her potty mouth pottery instructions.

Imagine  getting that lady using over the top salacious sexual imagery to illustrate how to throw a pot...worst Groupon ever......

Edited March 14, 2019 by humbleopinion

[krbr51]

Pottery Lady was totally over the top.  But so is AJ.  And she said at the beginning... "Making pottery is either sex or food."

I assumed that AJ was loving the sexual references and that's why she took it so far.  Yes, her comments made me uncomfortable, but I was more grossed out that AJ was probably totally digging them...  😝

[Gem 10]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Ah, I remember all of that.  I used to order extra bacon too, LOL.  I think I went to Pocono Gardens once too.  I know, I went to the Poconos a lot.  Hubbie and I liked our romantic getaways.  We won a "newlywed" kind of game there once.  All we got were t-shirts and mugs plus a nice photo of us, but it was a fun.  Of course, we weren't newlyweds and knew each other very well.

Nice, photo, you look beautiful in it - Hubbie looks a lot like my FIL when he was young.

You won .. that’s nice.  Thanks, the photo was a long time ago.  You can’t beat youth. I still have the album.   I have to persuade this guy to go there again and reminisce and look around, but he hates traffic.  Too bad, we’re going, haha.

[Neurochick]

6 hours ago, Mazzy said:

Jasmine and Will: I don't think Will is boring, I just think Jasmine is dumb, in the traditional sense of the word, and Will is smart, in the traditional sense of the word, and frankly dumb people aren't interesting or attractive to smart people even if that other person would be considered traditionally attractive. They are a terrible match and that kiss was just squick!

I agree with this.  I think Will is smart, and Jasmine isn't.  I don't think she's dumb, just basic.  She thinks, "I'm sexy, so why wouldn't he want to have sex with me?"  Jasmine, for some men that's not enough.  Some men actually are stimulated by intelligence or empathy, or caring for others.  

[Jax7917]

I think everyone's giving Will too much credit. Jasmine is everything that everyone is saying.. but Will has his issues too. He might mean well, but the things he says to her would bother me too. He's very standoffish and he comes off as a dud. 

[Retired at last]

I don't like to stereotype, but Will is an engineer and I have worked with many engineers who are like this. They deal with numbers, black or white - no shades of gray and are very methodical and fact-driven. He is an introvert, and is guided by his intellect, not emotion. Jasmine is just not getting there. She asks a question, but then does nothing with the answer, no discussion, no conversation, just the next question, like an interview. That is not how to communicate with him. And, until she gives him ANY kind of positive feedback, he sure isn't going to give her anything significant to criticize, so I think they will go into D Day without any carnal knowledge.

[Soup333]

7 hours ago, Mazzy said:

Jasmine and Will: I don't think Will is boring, I just think Jasmine is dumb, in the traditional sense of the word, and Will is smart, in the traditional sense of the word, and frankly dumb people aren't interesting or attractive to smart people even if that other person would be considered traditionally attractive. They are a terrible match and that kiss was just squick!
 

I agree about Will but also with @Neurochick that Jasmine is basic more so that dumb. She’s got a pretty rigid ideal of what a man should be in her head and can’t get beyond that but she was willing to “try” for the process. 

1 hour ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I think everyone's giving Will too much credit. Jasmine is everything that everyone is saying.. but Will has his issues too. He might mean well, but the things he says to her would bother me too. He's very standoffish and he comes off as a dud. 

I see this point too. On the unfiltered Will was a lot more animated than usual and admitted he could have handled that conversation about the 6.8 rating differently. 

15 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

I don't like to stereotype, but Will is an engineer and I have worked with many engineers who are like this. They deal with numbers, black or white - no shades of gray and are very methodical and fact-driven. He is an introvert, and is guided by his intellect, not emotion. Jasmine is just not getting there. She asks a question, but then does nothing with the answer, no discussion, no conversation, just the next question, like an interview. That is not how to communicate with him. And, until she gives him ANY kind of positive feedback, he sure isn't going to give her anything significant to criticize, so I think they will go into D Day without any carnal knowledge.

My guess is that if Will had said he was solely interested in real estate or buying more properties to rent out Jasmine would have been intrigued and supportive. Anything that would have been seen as generating future income would be a plus for her. Giving back to the community doesn’t do it for her. Maybe she was afraid he’d want to quit his job to coach and leave her as the sole breadwinner. 

I think they both lack communication skills. 

[aphroditewitch]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I agree with this.  I think Will is smart, and Jasmine isn't.  I don't think she's dumb, just basic.  She thinks, "I'm sexy, so why wouldn't he want to have sex with me?"  Jasmine, for some men that's not enough.  Some men actually are stimulated by intelligence or empathy, or caring for others.  

In theory she should have been able to tap into that though. According to her LinkedIn she has a Master's. But I also think that Will decided how he felt on the honeymoon and nothing she could have done would have taken things out of the friendzone. 

[Lusterleaf]

38 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

In theory she should have been able to tap into that though. According to her LinkedIn she has a Master's. But I also think that Will decided how he felt on the honeymoon and nothing she could have done would have taken things out of the friendzone. 

Agreed. I think ever since the honeymoon he checked out. It was all because Jasmine revealed what her expectations were- that the man should be the one to pay all the bills, be the provider.

Edited March 14, 2019 by Lusterleaf

[Koalagirl]

10 hours ago, Mazzy said:

I seriously could not agree more with this!!! These "experts are truly the worst. How many actual successes have they had with all seasons combined? Or, because divorce is pretty prevalent in our society I'll even take: how many couples that chose to stay together on D Day actually SEEMED like they were going to make it at least? Two, maybe three at best? What are we on, the forth season now?? The "experts" are literally terrible at this.

Shockingly this is the 8th season!!!  Which makes their statistics even worse.

[suzeecat]

I'm just going to throw this out there.  This is a reality show, for entertainment purposes.  And I have to say that this season has been successful at entertaining me!  Lots of flawed characters, tons of bad behavior, !*SECRET SEX*!, etc.  I have looked forward to each and every episode and I am eagerly awaiting decision day.  Will Kate and Stephanie - heck - will ALL of the wives kick their husbands to the curb?  At this point, I will be surprised if any of them stay together.  In this respect I believe that the experts were successful.  Their matches have kept me engaged and I don't even feel sorry for any of the participants because they signed up for this with eyes wide open, knowing the history of the show.  Kate got the worst possible result, but it was still her decision to STAY. 

[princelina]

10 hours ago, Mazzy said:

 but after five weeks does anyone consider that maybe Dr. Pepper is just like 'okay, whatever Kate. You could be an adult and leave or you can keep fishing for someone to tell you it's a good relationship when we all see it isn't'. Maybe Dr. Pepper is just over listening to Kate cry about a relationship where the issue is crystal clear - he isn't attracted to her. 

IMO Dr. Pepper does not get to be "over" these people - she calls herself an "expert" who is there to help them; participants sometimes get dinged by the "experts" for not coming to them for help, and it's 7 weeks of Pepper's life that she signed up for and is paid to do.  So she can just fuck off if she's not up for their whining, suck it up and try to give decent advice like a real "expert" would do.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, suzeecat said:

I'm just going to throw this out there.  This is a reality show, for entertainment purposes.  And I have to say that this season has been successful at entertaining me!  Lots of flawed characters, tons of bad behavior, !*SECRET SEX*!, etc.  I have looked forward to each and every episode and I am eagerly awaiting decision day.  Will Kate and Stephanie - heck - will ALL of the wives kick their husbands to the curb?  At this point, I will be surprised if any of them stay together.  In this respect I believe that the experts were successful.  Their matches have kept me engaged and I don't even feel sorry for any of the participants because they signed up for this with eyes wide open, knowing the history of the show.  Kate got the worst possible result, but it was still her decision to STAY. 

I've been saying this for months, this is an ENTERTAINMENT show, not an experiment, not science.  The purpose of this show is to entertain, to get a large audience, to get people talking about the show.   The experts are like ring masters, telling us, the audience what is going on.  If this show was about being a serious experiment, it wouldn't be on an entertainment channel like Lifetime.  

Edited March 14, 2019 by Neurochick

[zoltana]

On 3/12/2019 at 11:20 PM, Yeah No said:

The only other thing I can figure is that he is conflicted over someone else.  Like there's a specific person (male or female) that's still inside his head from a previous relationship, until he gets over them he can't open up to any woman.

I think you may have a winner here!  If there's someone else that he's conflicted over then he sure as hell doesn't want it getting out that he's having sex with Kate because that might ruin his chances with the other person.  How can he convince "the other person" that it meant nothing and was disgusting if he kept doing "it"?  I'm excited to see how this turns out.  Now I wouldn't be surprised if they choose divorce and then a month from that we hear that he's back together with someone from his past.

[DrewPaul2010]

12 hours ago, Mazzy said:

I seriously could not agree more with this!!! These "experts are truly the worst. How many actual successes have they had with all seasons combined? Or, because divorce is pretty prevalent in our society I'll even take: how many couples that chose to stay together on D Day actually SEEMED like they were going to make it at least? Two, maybe three at best? What are we on, the forth season now?? The "experts" are literally terrible at this.

These experts are experts in their specialized fields there are no experts in getting married at first sight. I think they are doing things to attempt to increase the success. They can't water board or subject candidates to lie detector tests all they can do is interview and fill out lengthy questionnaires. A guy like AJ probably seemed like a very outgoing gregarious person the life of the party...I doubt they saw the side we see now. I couldn't in good conscience hook someone up with AJ unless he got his anger issues resolved. For some on the show no matter what they say prior its dating at first sight, not marriage.

Everything about married at first site is artificial not just the fact their spouse was picked, but the constant glare of having your marriage videod for TV and an artificial deadline to determine if you wish to stay married. Lastly this show is successful if people watch and consume products sold the % of successful marriages though nice is irrelevant. Its surprising any of these marriages succeed.

How about living in sin at first sight and then see if they want to marry in eight weeks? 

[lids]

I don’t think the experts actually pick the spouses. I think production goes by who is photogenic and keeps attention when on camera. Then they may ask the experts what they think about pairing this person with this person. But even if the experts say, “that might be an explosive relationship,” the producers may reason that it’s good TV and as long as nobody is certifiable and Lifetime’s not held liable, they can still shoot their shot without being sued. So here we are with this mess.

I thought it was telling that AJ said he came home drunk one night and just started filling out the MAFS application. You know he wrote some crazy stuff and that’s probably why production picked him out of hundreds of applicants. They could not have seriously thought “this drunk-seeming applicant will make a good husband.”

I’m now convinced that when AJ says he promised himself he wasn’t going to eat alone anymore, he really means he promised he wasn’t going to drink alone anymore. He seems like the type of person who drank a bottle of scotch alone at night and even he knew it was unhealthy.

Wowww at Luke and Kate. I really thought his secret would be nothing. Now I’m confused like Kate and I want Luke off the show, but at the same time, I need some answers to the question that is Luke - so he can stay for now.

Besides the gay theory, do you think that Luke may have been molested? He is repeating a pattern that abused kids are taught. Your abuser will tell you that the act feels good, so don’t worry about it. Don’t tell anyone. It’s our secret. But then the kid goes away and feels guilty and doesn’t know how to sort their emotions. Hence Luke confusingly feeling repulsed and upset after sex. (And I do think Kate downplayed when she told production and a Pastor Cal earlier that Luke said the disgusted line after kissing. It was when they had sex and she was trying to protect Luke.) I also think it’s interesting that Luke dates exclusively out of his race. Is he avoiding people that remind him of his abuser? I’m going to need clarity.

This show makes me wonder just how bad it is to date now-a-days. Out of the couples the show picks, the men are always lost causes in a major way. Is this really what people on Tinder are choosing from?

[Arthur Jury]

If t he goal is to match people for successful marriages, these so called experts are miserable failures.

If, however, the goal is to cast people on a TV show for maximum conflict and the ensuing entertainment, then they are wildly successful.  

[Empress1]

21 minutes ago, lids said:

This show makes me wonder just how bad it is to date now-a-days. Out of the couples the show picks, the men are always lost causes in a major way. Is this really what people on Tinder are choosing from?

I’m on the apps (Hinge, OKCupid, & Tinder. Tinder is the worst of the three, will likely delete) & am dating around. It’s rough out there. I think it’s harder to date now that so many more options are available.

I do think that first and foremost, this is a reality show & they pick people/couples who would make good TV. Most couples are kind of boring.I mean, hell - my dating around would be boring to watch because when my dates are bad they’re usually just “meh,” not actively terrible.

[humbleopinion]

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/03/married-at-first-sight-aj-vulgar-behavior-sneak-peek/

AJ decided to destroy the mini moon segment because he was pissed that Blondie showed the clips of him mistreating Steph.

AJ is a revengeful, angry drunk who hates to be called out for his poor treatment of Steph.

He purposefully ruined the mini moon because he didn't like the group staying in the same house...

What an ass.

Steph deserves a better man than AJ...they won't stay married long...she will get fed up with his deep seated anger and outbursts....Steph will wise up.

[aphroditewitch]

50 minutes ago, Arthur Jury said:

If t he goal is to match people for successful marriages, these so called experts are miserable failures.

If, however, the goal is to cast people on a TV show for maximum conflict and the ensuing entertainment, then they are wildly successful.  

Season 7 was virtually unwatchable IMO and Luke has made Season 8 practically the same way, so I'm not sure I would describe their casting decisions as wildly successful. 

[gonecrackers]

These seasons have been difficult to watch, but they are successful for the show because people are watching & people are talking about it, so they are doing their job (unfortunately). 

[Jade Foxx]

On 3/13/2019 at 3:00 PM, nr65000 said:

This 100%.  Luke is really very scary to me.  It seems like he is intentionally gaslighting poor dim Kate and is getting pleasure out of yanking her chain.  It reminds me of a cat playing with a mouse before killing it.  His demeanor and his own words indicate that he is repulsed by Kate, yet he won't just man up and tell her it's just not going to work.  Him begrudgingly telling her that she has some qualities that he finds attractive, like her organizational skills, are dripping with barely concealed loathing.  If he were just hanging in there the best he could until his contract was fulfilled, that would be one thing but having sex with Kate, then refusing to speak to her afterwards is all pure calculated torture and he is well aware of what he is doing.  It's very hard for me to understand why Kate continues to contribute to this mess.  She surely cannot honestly believe that Luke would ever in a million years be truly interested in her for anything after this.  He literally hates her and she just looks like a big eyed dumb cow looking up with love at the cowboy leading her to the slaughterhouse. 

I think Luke definitely has issues/anger towards ALL WOMEN in general.  Gay or not, something is up.

[configdotsys]

7 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I think everyone's giving Will too much credit. Jasmine is everything that everyone is saying.. but Will has his issues too. He might mean well, but the things he says to her would bother me too. He's very standoffish and he comes off as a dud. 

Will comes off as a dud because he's absolutely not into any part of Jasmine. Had they matched him with a librarian type, he would likely be a whole lot different.

6 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I don't like to stereotype, but Will is an engineer and I have worked with many engineers who are like this. They deal with numbers, black or white - no shades of gray and are very methodical and fact-driven. He is an introvert, and is guided by his intellect, not emotion. Jasmine is just not getting there. She asks a question, but then does nothing with the answer, no discussion, no conversation, just the next question, like an interview. That is not how to communicate with him. And, until she gives him ANY kind of positive feedback, he sure isn't going to give her anything significant to criticize, so I think they will go into D Day without any carnal knowledge.

Will is not an engineer. He is a financial analyst which can mean different things depending on which industry he is in. I think he has been very forthcoming and clear in his answers to Jasmine's questions but Jasmine is just not liking what she is hearing. Then she tries to force the issue by doing what she expects to "flip his switch" and gets pissy when it doesn't work. 

[gingerandcloves]

I can not effing stand Luke. I know AJ has anger issues, but at least his are out in the open. Luke has the "if-looks-could-kill" thing going on. Kate is deluding herself if she thinks this is how a happy marriage works. I have rarely seen 2 people be so uncomfortable in each others' presence, let alone a married couple.

Jasmine's trying harder, I'll give her credit for that. I think it may be too little, too late, though. I think these two have fundamental differences and never the twain shall meet.  Will - put on a seatbelt already!

AJ obviously has some issues. He needs therapy and/or meds for sure. He and Steph could still work out, but he needs some better coping skills.

Kristine and Keith - they're cute, and they seem the least drama-prone. 

The "experts" are terrible at matching people. I don't know why they haven't figured this out, after seeing so many couples crash and burn.

[Kiss my mutt]

If the experts are going by photogenic, they are failing big time. I do like that these are every day people for the most part

[aphroditewitch]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

I think he has been very forthcoming and clear in his answers to Jasmine's questions but Jasmine is just not liking what she is hearing. Then she tries to force the issue by doing what she expects to "flip his switch" and gets pissy when it doesn't work. 

I disagree. Will has been wishy washy in his intentions. He also tends to have revisionist history about conversations they have had in the past. We saw that in the last episode. he was claiming that he said she was a good kisser, which is partially true, he did say that but  he also buried it under criticisms. His communications style is terrible. Instead of saying what he means, he buries compliments to the point that they are meaningless and don't come across as genuine. It also doesn't seem that he has been forthright with Jasmine off camera either. Otherwise the attempt at seduction would probably not have happened.  

[Neurochick]

3 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

Season 7 was virtually unwatchable IMO and Luke has made Season 8 practically the same way, so I'm not sure I would describe their casting decisions as wildly successful. 

But we're all watching, not just us but lots of other people are watching.  So the producers are doing something right.  

The reality is, though many people say they'd like to see healthy relationships on TV, I doubt that many people would watch.  Healthy is great, but it's cheap drama free, so is serenity.  Crazy dysfunction keeps people coming back again and again.  

The only way I can see this show changing is if something really bad happened; say AJ and Stephanie broke up and AJ lost it an assaulted Stephanie or somebody else.  That could shine a bad light on this show.  I think that in the past there were threats of violence but those were swept under the rug.  I'm talking about something that wouldn't be able to be swept away.  

[Starlight925]

I largely give the experts a pass because of the population of singles they have to work with.  Anyone who is on dating sites these days knows the pickings are so slim for normal, well-adjusted, sweet people.   

Spend 2 weeks on the sites, and you'll meet your share of AJ's:  Kind of cute, ambitious, super fun....on the surface.  Excessive drinker, snaps at a moment's notice, just below.  

Or Lukes:  Attractive but emotionally abusive.

But these bad qualities don't come out until you're dating for a while, so it's easy for the experts to miss.  Remember basement Ryan, the one who literally turned abusive?  The guy who wore the mobster track suits?  Easily the most handsome man on the show ever (IMHO), but also easily the most horrible.

Last season, we had sweet, genuine Bobby.  He could be paired up with this season's Stephanie, and I'd be a happy camper to watch (although I realize Stephanie is out of Bobby's age range....but you get what I'm saying).  But he was paired with cold fish Danielle....ugh, I still shudder.  

The experts are working with the "Interview Perfect" version of these people.  Not "half-a-bottle-of-Scotch-in", pissed off AJ with the filthy sex references.  

Anyway, it's an unfortunate pool of singles out there, for the most part.  

Edited March 15, 2019 by Sterling

[aphroditewitch]

4 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

But we're all watching, not just us but lots of other people are watching.  So the producers are doing something right.  

The reality is, though many people say they'd like to see healthy relationships on TV, I doubt that many people would watch.  Healthy is great, but it's cheap drama free, so is serenity.  Crazy dysfunction keeps people coming back again and again.  

The only way I can see this show changing is if something really bad happened; say AJ and Stephanie broke up and AJ lost it an assaulted Stephanie or somebody else.  That could shine a bad light on this show.  I think that in the past there were threats of violence but those were swept under the rug.  I'm talking about something that wouldn't be able to be swept away.  

I  barely watched season 7. I primarily kept up with it through recaps and Unfiltered. I probably wouldn't have watched this season either but I'm actually interested in what happens with Kristine/Keith and Stephanie/AJ. I don't need the relationships to be super healthy but they also shouldn't be abusive like what we are seeing with Kate and Luke. It seemed obvious from the beginning the Sheila and Nate in season 5 were not going to work out in the long term but it kept me watching. 

If AJ flipped out at Stephanie after filming was over, the show would not care.  

[LuvMyShows]

I couldn't help but notice that after Kate and Luke got back from what Kate considered to be their wonderful, fantastic, dream date, and they were lying on the bed rhapsodizing about how wonderful the evening was, their bodies weren't even touching in any way!

36 minutes ago, Sterling said:

But these bad qualities don't come out until you're dating for a while, so it's easy for the experts to miss.  Remember basement Ryan, the one who literally turned abusive?  The guy who wore the mobster track suits?  Easily the most handsome man on the show ever (IMHO), but also easily the most horrible.

I don't think you mean Basement Ryan....he was the one with Jaclyn and had a bit of a nasal-y voice IIRC.  I think you mean the Ryan that was with Jessica.  I'm not sure what our 'official' nickname is for him...

[greeneyedscorpio]

On 3/13/2019 at 7:04 AM, configdotsys said:

I thought the pottery lady was disgusting. I would not find her approach amusing and would have walked out of there. 

This 1000x

[dirtypop90]

Will is in client relations.  He works for a financial institution but it is a stretch to call him an analyst.  I agree that people are giving him too much benefit of the doubt.  The lacking mental stimulation bit is an excuse.  Will has said nothing indicating he is above average intelligence.  I’m not understanding why people think he is smarter than Jasmine.  All he has said is he wants to help people, coach kids, and is a great uncle.  Plus, even if Jas was dumb, I’ve met several brilliant men with beautiful airhead wives.  It is NOT true that all (or even most IMO) smart men can’t get it up for dumb women.

I’m actually starting to wonder if something bigger is going on besides lack of attraction.  I noticed the mention of him sleeping all the time.  Maybe he is depressed or low on testosterone?  Will also discussed feeling inadequate in prior relationships, which could be another reason for his hesitation to have sex.  Idk but I’ve long thought there was something else going on with him.

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

I don't think you mean Basement Ryan....he was the one with Jaclyn and had a bit of a nasal-y voice IIRC.  I think you mean the Ryan that was with Jessica.  I'm not sure what our 'official' nickname is for him...

Yes,  thank you!  Got my Ryan’s mixed up.  

[Ilovepie]

7 hours ago, Neurochick said:

If this show was about being a serious experiment, it wouldn't be on an entertainment channel like Lifetime.  

I think people who call it an “experiment” are harkening back to the first season when the show WAS an experiment and not on Lifetime. The halcyon days of Dr. Cilona, Dr. Logan, and Leather Jacket Greg the “spiritual advisor”.....

Much like Project Runway, a move to Lifetime is a downgrade and the content reflects that........

[silverspoons]

2 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

Will is in client relations.  He works for a financial institution but it is a stretch to call him an analyst.  I agree that people are giving him too much benefit of the doubt.  The lacking mental stimulation bit is an excuse.  Will has said nothing indicating he is above average intelligence.  I’m not understanding why people think he is smarter than Jasmine.  All he has said is he wants to help people, coach kids, and is a great uncle.  Plus, even if Jas was dumb, I’ve met several brilliant men with beautiful airhead wives.  It is NOT true that all (or even most IMO) smart men can’t get it up for dumb women.

I’m actually starting to wonder if something bigger is going on besides lack of attraction.  I noticed the mention of him sleeping all the time.  Maybe he is depressed or low on testosterone?  Will also discussed feeling inadequate in prior relationships, which could be another reason for his hesitation to have sex.  Idk but I’ve long thought there was something else going on with him.

I think will is not looking for someone based on looks only. If he was at 37, educated, home owner, I'm sure he would be married by now. It seemed like he was okay with her on the wedding day, based on looks and firs meeting. Then it seemed like he wanted to get t know her and what he heard made him feel they were not going to match long term. It seems like it is not just gender roles and money, it is goals , values and lifestyle. I think he is not one to want to lead someone on. Would it be better if he had sex with her knowing he did not see a future. Then we would be calling him other names? 

[humbleopinion]

Hundy Ryan was the groom who stole or "borrowed for lunch money" one of the $100 bills from the wedding money Jessica was saving up for a rainy day...

Will graduated from Lincoln with a degree in secondary education so it follows that when he felt more secure financially from his current career he would switch to coaching since he has expressed more than once his wanting to make a difference in kids' lives.

Will says he is an introvert and he probably had too much of the group in the closed space with the camera crew and field producer also shoe horned in that tiny kitchen...

Sleep helps pass the time until D Day and he is free of Jasmine.....think of it as hibernation...zzzzz

Edited March 15, 2019 by humbleopinion

[gonecrackers]

I don't think Will is smarter than Jasmine, but he seems to be more emotionally intelligent. There's no connection & it's obvious, but she keeps pushing for sex anyway, & I've said before I think she feels she can reel him in with it. I do appreciate that he's not using her while he's at the very least feeling unsure (if not convinced this won't work). As an introvert, he needs a real mental connection - I don't think this is an excuse but rather, they really just don't have it. When she tries to be sexual with him it's like watching her trying to entice a relative to have sex with her; it's really that 'off' to me & cringey.

[configdotsys]

8 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

Will is in client relations.  He works for a financial institution but it is a stretch to call him an analyst.  I agree that people are giving him too much benefit of the doubt.  The lacking mental stimulation bit is an excuse.  Will has said nothing indicating he is above average intelligence.  I’m not understanding why people think he is smarter than Jasmine.  All he has said is he wants to help people, coach kids, and is a great uncle.  Plus, even if Jas was dumb, I’ve met several brilliant men with beautiful airhead wives.  It is NOT true that all (or even most IMO) smart men can’t get it up for dumb women.

I’m actually starting to wonder if something bigger is going on besides lack of attraction.  I noticed the mention of him sleeping all the time.  Maybe he is depressed or low on testosterone?  Will also discussed feeling inadequate in prior relationships, which could be another reason for his hesitation to have sex.  Idk but I’ve long thought there was something else going on with him.

I thought it said "Financial Analyst" under his name in the show, but maybe not. I don't fully pay attention to that but I'm nearly positive it at least says finance. To me, Jasmine is very good at making Will feel inadequate so if he came into this with those feelings on his mind, they're even stronger now.

Calling him a scaredy cat when he said he was afraid of heights to me was cruel and demonstrated that she has zero empathy for anything outside of her wants. She looked down her nose at his upbringing when they were in the park in his old neighborhood, then the first thing out of her mouth when coaching came up was "That doesn't bring in money." If she was a true partner, she would be talking about how to integrate his coaching-- which is of critical importance to him-- into their lives. Not Jasmine.

It seems to me that since he bought a house, that his earnings enable him to coach without worrying about money, and a second house to use a rental income would contribute even more to that, but Jasmine wants more money. Her view seems to be that if you are going to spend time doing anything, it should generate money or it's not worth doing.

If you notice-- and of course this could be editing but I'm not pretending to know what we did not see because frankly, we don't-- it's always Jasmine that has questions for Will. He seems uninterested in asking her questions and my guess is because he knew from the jump that she wasn't his type and he shut down. Her general approach is cold to me. There's no warmth to her or genuine interest in anything Will has to say in response to her. She asks questions with an answer that she wants to hear in mind and if she doesn't get it, she gets annoyed. No wonder he just wants to be Rip Van Winkle until this trainwreck is over.

[Soup333]

4 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I thought it said "Financial Analyst" under his name in the show, but maybe not. I don't fully pay attention to that but I'm nearly positive it at least says finance. To me, Jasmine is very good at making Will feel inadequate so if he came into this with those feelings on his mind, they're even stronger now.

Calling him a scaredy cat when he said he was afraid of heights to me was cruel and demonstrated that she has zero empathy for anything outside of her wants. She looked down her nose at his upbringing when they were in the park in his old neighborhood, then the first thing out of her mouth when coaching came up was "That doesn't bring in money." If she was a true partner, she would be talking about how to integrate his coaching-- which is of critical importance to him-- into their lives. Not Jasmine.

It seems to me that since he bought a house, that his earnings enable him to coach without worrying about money, and a second house to use a rental income would contribute even more to that, but Jasmine wants more money. Her view seems to be that if you are going to spend time doing anything, it should generate money or it's not worth doing.

If you notice-- and of course this could be editing but I'm not pretending to know what we did not see because frankly, we don't-- it's always Jasmine that has questions for Will. He seems uninterested in asking her questions and my guess is because he knew from the jump that she wasn't his type and he shut down. Her general approach is cold to me. There's no warmth to her or genuine interest in anything Will has to say in response to her. She asks questions with an answer that she wants to hear in mind and if she doesn't get it, she gets annoyed. No wonder he just wants to be Rip Van Winkle until this trainwreck is over.

I agree with all that you’ve said. I also think that if Will was interested or thought there might be a chance with them he would be asking her questions. He’s over it. When that happened is perhaps debatable but I think at this point it’s fairly obvious that he doesn’t want a wife who is a 6.8. 

Especially jarring to me during this episode was the way she spoke to him in the car when she was telling him to slow down. She was upset about the night before and I’ll give her that but she didn’t articulate that and say what was really bothering her. He had to bring it up. 

Jasmibe has had opportunities to explain how she desires to be a SAHM but instead she’s just been negative when his views haven’t aligned with hers. The honeymoon and the bowling alley were a perfect time for her to say she’d like to get to a place where she could stop working when/if they had children. When he said he’d like to get a second property that was literally perfect timing. Instead she berated him about coaching and proceeded to argue that coaches don’t make any money. 

I don’t fault Will for rejecting sex because I would as well. They’re not a match and there’s no sense getting emotions dragged into it - and there’s a good chance Jasmine would criticize his sexual prowess anyway. 

[discoprincessthe2]

17 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I've been saying this for months, this is an ENTERTAINMENT show, not an experiment, not science.  The purpose of this show is to entertain, to get a large audience, to get people talking about the show.   The experts are like ring masters, telling us, the audience what is going on.  If this show was about being a serious experiment, it wouldn't be on an entertainment channel like Lifetime.  

That may backfire on production this season when it seems that this season's shenanigans apparently have turned a number of viewers off. I have been turned off to the point where I'm not going to watch next season...or the following one, etc.

9 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I think people who call it an “experiment” are harkening back to the first season when the show WAS an experiment and not on Lifetime. The halcyon days of Dr. Cilona, Dr. Logan, and Leather Jacket Greg the “spiritual advisor”.....

Much like Project Runway, a move to Lifetime is a downgrade and the content reflects that........

The experts have used the term "experiment" though more than once this season. 

16 hours ago, lids said:

I don’t think the experts actually pick the spouses. I think production goes by who is photogenic and keeps attention when on camera. Then they may ask the experts what they think about pairing this person with this person. But even if the experts say, “that might be an explosive relationship,” the producers may reason that it’s good TV and as long as nobody is certifiable and Lifetime’s not held liable, they can still shoot their shot without being sued. So here we are with this mess.

I thought it was telling that AJ said he came home drunk one night and just started filling out the MAFS application. You know he wrote some crazy stuff and that’s probably why production picked him out of hundreds of applicants. They could not have seriously thought “this drunk-seeming applicant will make a good husband.”

I’m now convinced that when AJ says he promised himself he wasn’t going to eat alone anymore, he really means he promised he wasn’t going to drink alone anymore. He seems like the type of person who drank a bottle of scotch alone at night and even he knew it was unhealthy.

Wowww at Luke and Kate. I really thought his secret would be nothing. Now I’m confused like Kate and I want Luke off the show, but at the same time, I need some answers to the question that is Luke - so he can stay for now.

Besides the gay theory, do you think that Luke may have been molested? He is repeating a pattern that abused kids are taught. Your abuser will tell you that the act feels good, so don’t worry about it. Don’t tell anyone. It’s our secret. But then the kid goes away and feels guilty and doesn’t know how to sort their emotions. Hence Luke confusingly feeling repulsed and upset after sex. (And I do think Kate downplayed when she told production and a Pastor Cal earlier that Luke said the disgusted line after kissing. It was when they had sex and she was trying to protect Luke.) I also think it’s interesting that Luke dates exclusively out of his race. Is he avoiding people that remind him of his abuser? I’m going to need clarity.

This show makes me wonder just how bad it is to date now-a-days. Out of the couples the show picks, the men are always lost causes in a major way. Is this really what people on Tinder are choosing from?

I remember hearing or reading somewhere that casting scours Tinder, etc. for potential mates. 

Ryan from Boston said that the show originally had wanted one of his firehouse buddies. I guess that didn't work out, so they got Ryan instead. They definitely got someone who...could keep attention while on camera. Even though Ryan apparently exasperated not only his own wife, but Jon and Jepthe, and Pastor Cal at one point, he provided moments of funny "Ryanisms" that the show managed to capture and air on an episode of Unfiltered. 

15 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

Season 7 was virtually unwatchable IMO and Luke has made Season 8 practically the same way, so I'm not sure I would describe their casting decisions as wildly successful. 

I largely skipped season 7 because it didn't really catch my attention at all the few times I tried to watch. Even the messy, behind-the-scenes drama that Mia brought with her didn't keep me watching. (Side note: The fact that Mia filed for divorce while the season was still airing - and that it was leaked - didn't help either.)

11 hours ago, Sterling said:

I largely give the experts a pass because of the population of singles they have to work with.  Anyone who is on dating sites these days knows the pickings are so slim for normal, well-adjusted, sweet people.   

Spend 2 weeks on the sites, and you'll meet your share of AJ's:  Kind of cute, ambitious, super fun....on the surface.  Excessive drinker, snaps at a moment's notice, just below.  

Or Lukes:  Attractive but emotionally abusive.

But these bad qualities don't come out until you're dating for a while, so it's easy for the experts to miss.  Remember basement Ryan, the one who literally turned abusive?  The guy who wore the mobster track suits?  Easily the most handsome man on the show ever (IMHO), but also easily the most horrible.

Last season, we had sweet, genuine Bobby.  He could be paired up with this season's Stephanie, and I'd be a happy camper to watch (although I realize Stephanie is out of Bobby's age range....but you get what I'm saying).  But he was paired with cold fish Danielle....ugh, I still shudder.  

The experts are working with the "Interview Perfect" version of these people.  Not "half-a-bottle-of-Scotch-in", pissed off AJ with the filthy sex references.  

Speaking of AJ, I think Pastor Cal had sat down with him at some point during the casting special. I got the feeling that Pastor Cal wasn't feeling AJ from the get-go!

Edited March 15, 2019 by discoprincessthe2

[configdotsys]

54 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Jasmibe has had opportunities to explain how she desires to be a SAHM but instead she’s just been negative when his views haven’t aligned with hers.

Yep. I think this is the crux of the matter with them. Notice how Jasmine wants to tell Will what she wants and expects and he is supposed to immediately embrace and do that but any time he says something: showing her the neighborhood, saying he wants to coach and help kids, give back to the community, that he's into the librarian type (whether that's true or not, that's what he said), she puts on a look of disapproval because it's not part of her plan. She seems to think he owes it to her to discard his wants and accommodate hers in order to make her a "happy wife." I can't stand her.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

It seems to me that since he bought a house, that his earnings enable him to coach without worrying about money,

I am not sure, unless he bought the house outright. Otherwise he's carrying a mortgage, so he has to maintain his income at his current level, at least, to be able to keep up the payments. Plus there are always additional expenses with home ownership that you don't have with renting - you need a new roof; the water heater blows; the refrigerator stops working. 

Don't get me wrong - I think that Will is financially stable. He seems pragmatic and lives within his means. And a second property might generate some income if he is able to rent it for more than the mortgage plus maintenance costs. But I don't really see him ever being in a position to not have to worry about money unless he inherits or is really frugal for some period of time and builds up a nice nest egg.

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

The experts have used the term "experiment" though more than once this season. 

They are clinging to the illusion that it still is an experiment, but it’s been nothing but reality garbage since they cast Douche Ryan, Basement Ryan and “Christian Grey” Sean which was season two......any doubt that they are looking for nothing but drama was erased this season when they forced eight strangers to stop being polite and start getting real, oh wait, wrong show.......or is it?!?

[Retired at last]

This is only my second season, and I honestly have no idea why I tuned in last time. We had psycho Mia/Tristan, desperate for love, baby, and cocktails Amber, and sweet, but boring Ricky Bobby and Danielle. I was pretty sure I was done at the end of that group, but I did tune in again. I am really not sure how many people actually do watch this, but I won't be watching again. I will check in to see the ending of this season, but have no desire to be manipulated into watching even pretend abuse. Kind of like how Dance Moms was. In the beginning, it WAS about dance and the girls, and by the end (which I stopped watching several seasons before it was over), it was too uncomfortable and just showed moms bitching and Abby screaming. Not fun.