S10.E07: Divided We Move

[kimaken]

5 minutes ago, SongbirdHollow said:

One thing that struck me was why they wouldn’t want houses that back up to each other for privacy reasons. What, is he bonking them in the backyard?

It's easier for Kody to go from house to house through the front door on the cul de sac - if the houses backed up to each other, it'd be farther for him to go (around the block) unless they removed all backyard fences and put a sidewalk or stone pathway so he wouldn't have to wade through wet grass or a foot of snow crossing through the yards. I would also be awkward for re-selling the houses later.

[SunnyBeBe]

My funniest moment was when Janelle said that she LOVED the lot where she would be able to plant a GARDEN!  lol  Well, for any of you who have actually planted and maintained a garden, you'll know how funny that comment was.  It's been a while since my family had one, but, we did most years when I was growing up.  My dad grew up on a farm (His family lived off the land and I mean REALLY lived off the land. Raised their own food, including meat. He says it's too hard for children.).  Anyway, it's a lot of work.  Making rows, (you need a tractor with equipment. We had farmer neighbors who helped us.), ensuring proper soil and adding what's needed, keeping pests away (deer, rabbits, worms and bugs), pulling weeds, harvesting (you have to bend over to pick the veggies off the plants and it's slow going), canning or freezing, etc.    The food is great.  We had squash, green beans, corn, cucumbers, peas, tomatoes, cabbage, okra.....but, it's VERY hard work and much of it is in the heat and hot sun. I'm not sure how that works in AZ.  We are in the hot, humid south.  Even here we also had to water the garden during times of drought.   

I just can't see Janelle doing all that.  Just saying lol  I can barely imagine her with a patio garden. 

[eskimo]

So the Fab 5 don't care about the opinions of the kids over whether they upend their lives RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, but want to drag them along on the land hunt, and expect them to be just thrilled?  Kody and the wives should have went alone, made a decision and then could have taken everyone else to see it later, if they wanted.  Nothing they do makes sense.   I get Christine's point to whichever daughter wasn't happy with the place, this will be the Fab 5's forever home (supposedly), and the kids will all be gone in a few years.  So it doesn't really make sense to pick a property based on the kids' opinions, but she was sharp about it.  The girl is really unhappy that they're moving at all, and Christine should have been understanding about that. 

If it's going to take longer than a school year to get the homes built, then can't they just stay put till they can move into their new homes, and not do this rental thing at all?  They could rent Robyn a little place so she can split her time while Dayton adjusts.  She only has Kody 1/4 of the time anyway.  That would be 3 or 4 people being put out for the good of the rest, rather than 20 people (I really don't know how many kids are still at home) being put out for the good of 2 or 3.  People do it all the time, where one parent moves to get established somewhere new, and the family comes a few months later.  Especially when there are high-school aged kids.  Why can't these people do it?  They can commute every other weekend to see each other.  Oh, I know.  No wife wants to be separate from the leader for fear of losing their position.  All jockying for position, all the time. 

Kody, you wanted this life, so STFU about the logistics of it.  And that goes for the rest of you, too. 

Why are they so concerned about Meri staying behind, and distancing herself, and blah, blah, blah.  They can't stand her anyway.  Let her go if she wants.  I'd think they'd be thrilled.  Unless it's just so they can harp on her and make her feel like she's not a team player, and they can feel superior.  I'd respect Meri so much more if she just kindly told them all to fuck off and went her own way. 

So Robyn has both of Kody's youngest kids, correct?  Well she's cemented a special place for herself forever.  (Ari is Robyn's, right) 

Sorry for the novel.   I just have a lot of feelings.  Lol

[SongbirdHollow]

Is moving for kids such a huge deal anymore what with social media? When I was a kid if someone moved you never saw them again. Now staying in contact is much easier. I can see the problem with establishing yourself in a new place, but you wouldn’t be losing the friends you have, really. 

[bichonblitz]

What would this season be without this big move to Flagstaff? They have nothing else going on except another boring wedding. Kody's timing is pretty good, I'll give him that. He saved the show from being cancelled so uprooting everybody and upsetting his children for the sake of staying on the show is worth it to him. 

[kimaken]

7 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

What would this season be without this big move to Flagstaff? They have nothing else going on except another boring wedding. Kody's timing is pretty good, I'll give him that. He saved the show from being cancelled so uprooting everybody and upsetting his children for the sake of staying on the show is worth it to him. 

Well, if Kody REALLY wants to keep the TLC gravy train going, he should start courting wife #5! That should guarantee another season, maybe 2 if he gets wife #5 pregnant and SHE wants the coveted "legal wife" status--think of the fireworks and/or histrionics!

[Julia67]

15 hours ago, endure said:

He thinks this will keep the show alive

This is my thought EXACTLY.  I am sitting there watching, trying to figure out WHY the heck he wants to do this and HOW the heck he can (financially).  I had the same thought:  he needs to create drama to keep TLC interested enough to keep the show going.  

14 hours ago, deirdra said:

Is Robyn menopausal?

I thought she looked pregnant in that horrid yellow sweater thing.

[SunnyBeBe]

Part of me was wondering if Kody wants to tick Meri off so much that she just walks away.  I mean, that would lighten his financial load.  How much is her business contributing  to the family anyway? Is she a plus or minus on the balance sheet? 

 I laughed when she said that she sucked at business/finances.  lol  She owns/operates two businesses and she says that!  OMG.  

[itsadryheat]

16 hours ago, endure said:

I just don't get it (this move), the the only reason I can come up with is Kody is worried about ratings and losing their TLC income.  He thinks this will keep the show alive, thing is Kody, you are repeating yourself, been there done this already!  He doesn't care about his wives or kids.....or what the financial costs are.

The only thing that will save this show, is if they all move into one house.  I'm all in - Battle of the Plyg Wives.

[Tabbygirl521]

Scene: Morning at Christine’s, where Kody apparently spent the night. 

Christine: “Wonderful Man?”

Kody: Yes?”

Christine:  “Your eggs are ready”

Tabbygirl: *retch*

Kody can go all shark-eyes and begin bitching more and more about the move as reality sinks in. But Meri is going to be ridden hard about her failure to fawn and giggle about it all. 

Best scene of the episode: Kody and his ridiculous hair sprawled all alone on that enormous sectional, as the rest of them leave to go celebrate Aspyn and Mitch. Bye, Charlie!

[SunnyBeBe]

4 minutes ago, itsadryheat said:

The only thing that will save this show, is if they all move into one house.  I'm all in - Battle of the Plyg Wives.

It could be done, but, they'd have to compromise on private bedrooms.....the kids, not the wives. lol 

So, I think they could manage with 8 bedrooms. A bedroom for each wife (4) and 1 bedroom for the older sons, 1 bedroom for the older daughters and one bedroom for the younger kids. (Truly, Solomon and Ariealla.) And 1 bedroom for the family member who lives with them, I think is Robyn's cousin/niece, who helps with childcare, but, she could sleep on the couch. 

[Tabbygirl521]

4 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

It could be done, but, they'd have to compromise on private bedrooms.....the kids, not the wives. lol 

So, I think they could manage with 8 bedrooms. A bedroom for each wife (4) and 1 bedroom for the older sons, 1 bedroom for the older daughters and one bedroom for the younger kids. (Truly, Solomon and Ariealla.) And 1 bedroom for the family member who lives with them, I think is Robyn's cousin/niece, who helps with childcare, but, she could sleep on the couch. 

Think of the relaxing evenings gathered around the TV, each adult sitting separately because there can be no PDAs or flirting in front of each other. A nice detached existence until it comes time to watch your “husband” head down the hall with whichever harem member is to be honored that night. And then watch them come down giggling to breakfast the next day. And the kids get to watch it all. 

[islandgal140]

I cackled when no one would ride with Kody on the trip to AZ. However, then I got kinda pissed because it seemed to wasteful to have drive that gas guzzling SUV with only 1 person in it. Couldn't they have consolidated and taken 1 less car?

I can't find Mitch as repugnant as Fat Tony, however, Mitch and Aspyn situation just makes me more uncomfortable than Fat Tony and his wife.  Fat Tony and Mykelti just seemed equally yoked (annoying and entitled) and they seem to dig one another equally. Why Asypn is so enamored of Mitch is utterly baffling. She seems way more into him that he is her. Plus, there is the whole plyg thing. Mitch says he hasn't heard the 'call' but is open to it.  Frankly, I think just being open to it is 'the call'. He just has it on hold until he can finesse Asypn into thinking she heard it too. 

Edited March 11, 2019 by islandgal140

[SunnyBeBe]

4 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

I cackled when no one would ride with Kody on the trip to AZ. However, then I got kinda pissed because it seemed to wasteful to have drive that gas guzzling SUV with only 1 person in it. Couldn't they have consolidated and taken 1 less car?

I can't find Mitch as repugnant as Fat Tony, however, Mitch and Aspyn situation just makes me more uncomfortable than Fat Tony and his wife.  Fat Tony and Mykelti just seemed equally yoked (annoying and entitled) and they seem to dig one another equally. Why Asypn is so enamored of Mitch is utterly baffling. She seems way more into him that he is her. Plus, there is the whole plyg thing. Mitch says he hasn't heard the 'call' but is open to it.  Frankly, I think just being up to it is 'the call'. He just has it on hold until he can finesse Asypn into thinking she heard it too. 

Yes to boldface.  I mean, how naive must she be to not see the writing on the wall?  This is the same type of shenanigans that happened in her own family.  Plus, it's probably pretty common within their groups with women who do NOT want to practice the principle, who get pulled in with this line. I guess she has magical thinking that she will be so special to him that he won't dare go there, but, she's fooling herself.  If you don't want it, go with a mate who also, doesn't want it. 

[Tabbygirl521]

5 hours ago, Granny58 said:

All the photos I've seen of Utah are GORGEOUS.  These numbskulls lived in Utah so they've seen really gorgeous views.   That flat piece of plague-infected property is not beautiful at all.  I don't understand how they are hearing angels sing!

I grew up in just a regular neighborhood in Seattle, but step out the front door and look right for a view of the Cascade Mountains and left for a view of the Olympics. My idea of beautiful is so far away from Prairie Dog Flats or whatever it’s called. I know Kody snotted that Seattle and Portland (also in a lovely area) are not on his radar, but: They want trees? I regularly have to pull Douglas fir seedlings when I weed the garden. And I really doubt the State of Washington would waste a cent prosecuting/“persecuting” them unless they committed some kind of fraud (the only reason I can think of for “persecution” since Kody did not legally marry and file paperwork more than one woman at a time). Also Western Washington is largely liberal and they very likely would be left alone. Yes, even where it’s more rural.

but sure, go build on a plague-infested stretch of barren land. I’m sure construction won’t spread contaminants at all. Good luck with your gardens Janelle. 

Maybe we’ll see Kody starting to sport a prairie-dog-skin cap a la Daniel Boone. It wouldn’t look any stupider than his topknot. 

[65mickey]

Almost think that as soon as he hung up the phone with the realtor it dawned on him what they did. It seemed like he was expecting the sellers to reject their offer and he started to panic. He better panic if they can't pay the mortgage or sell this land they are out $80,000. 

[65mickey]

27 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Think of the relaxing evenings gathered around the TV, each adult sitting separately because there can be no PDAs or flirting in front of each other. A nice detached existence until it comes time to watch your “husband” head down the hall with whichever harem member is to be honored that night. And then watch them come down giggling to breakfast the next day. And the kids get to watch it all. 

Thanks @TABBYGIRL521 for this image. Just ate lunch and now I think I am going to get sick. LOL

[Twopper]

1 hour ago, SongbirdHollow said:

One thing that struck me was why they wouldn’t want houses that back up to each other for privacy reasons. What, is he bonking them in the backyard?

That didn't make much sense to me, either.   I would think they would love a shared back yard.  Great for family cook outs, a new family tree, a new place to put in concrete and have everyone put their hand prints in it. 

I thought they had an open back yard in LV so that everyone could come and go, and that is the reason Mona mentioned putting walls up between the properties when they went up for sale.

drat, I know too much about this family

[Julia67]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Every last one of their houses looks like a Home Goods threw up in it

Yes!  So much crap in all those houses!  Of course, I tend to be more minimalist in my decor but still.  And, that "leather" chair with all the holes in it?  I mean, come on, surely they could have found a different chair to highlight for the TV show??  In a recent episode when their realtor was looking around the house with Christine, I was shocked at what bad shape it was in after only a few years.  Yes, there's a million kids running around and that's hard on the house but, come on, teach them to respect property.  Also, in a recent episode, they showed Janelle getting ready in her bathroom and there was so much junk on the counter and around the tub, it made me itchy.  Yikes!  Their first step toward selling those houses needs to be some major Marie Kondo-ing in those places!

[Kyanight]

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I feel for the Brown kids. Their everyday existence must be strange enough with regard to resentment, competition, and the undercurrent of emotional manipulation that is rampant in this family. 

Add on top of that you have moved not once but twice for, wait for it, tv ratings. 

And add of top that the ones who are old enough to understand the parents are being reckless with the money from said tv show. 

And after all of that, Kody derides them on Twitter? It is so messed up.

[Tabbygirl521]

6 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Aunt Stella!!

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Aunt Stella!!

Seriously - is he transitioning??  If he just shaved Mykelti would have her own sister wife!

[Granny58]

24 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Prairie Dog Flats

LOL.  Love it. 

[Rabbit Hutch]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Part of me was wondering if Kody wants to tick Meri off so much that she just walks away.  I mean, that would lighten his financial load.  How much is her business contributing  to the family anyway? Is she a plus or minus on the balance sheet? 

 I laughed when she said that she sucked at business/finances.  lol  She owns/operates two businesses and she says that!  OMG.  

The thought occurred to me that couldn't give a rat's patootie whether Meri moved with them or not.  What they, and especially Cootie, care about is that Meri will sell her Vegas home without a fight, for the family needs the proceeds from every wife's home to make this gambit work.

I may be mistaken, but I think that Cootie's name is on the deed of Meri's Vegas home, and that is why he was so "concerned" that she be on board with Coyote-Plague Pass. Without Meri, I believe this would've been a no-go.

[LucyEth]

15 minutes ago, Rabbit Hutch said:

may be mistaken, but I think that Cootie's name is on the deed of Meri's Vegas home, and that is why he was so "concerned" that she be on board with Coyote-Plague Pass. Without Meri, I believe this would've been a no-go.

I would think Kody's name would be on the deeds of all the houses.  If not, he has no leverage over them at all.  

[LilWharveyGal]

Divided They Move, and United We Roll Our Eyes

RECAP is in the spoiler box:

Spoiler

Previously on Blister Hives... Cakes were tasted sans opinions.  Kody wanted to move to Utah so the family looked at property in Arizona.  Must be polygamist logic.

We open at Christine's house where she's making Kody a shake and eggs.  Kody tells us that everyone who's available is coming to Flagstaff today to look at land.  He wants the kids to get "exposure" to the land they're thinking about.  Christine informs him that his eggs and toast are ready.  She really wants the kids to like Flagstaff.  Location 1, the Cottonwood Property, is within the city limits and is the site Kody and Meri liked.  Location 2, Coyote Pass, was Christine and Robyn's favorite.  The teen girls are now on the couch and Gwendlyn is not at all happy about the move but says there's nothing they can do about it.  Kody sits down to his breakfast.  Oh goody, Mykelti is in the kitchen so I'm sure Tony can't be far behind.  There's some banter about shaking or something?  Those cavernous cult-de-sac kitchens have very poor acoustics...must be why they're still on the market.  Call now!  Kody interviews that he wants a, "dramatic reversal of attitude," where people declare that they can't move to Flagstaff fast enough.  Janelle now pops up to tell us that she's been to Flagstaff before on vacation so doesn't really care about seeing it again, but she'll go.  This rousing, proactive life coach could be working with YOU, ladies and gentlemen!  Call now!  At her house, she's preparing to leave with Maddie, Axel, and Savannah.  Christine's girls (plus Mitch and Tony) and all of Robyn's kids are coming too, but Mariah is not.  Hurricane LulaRoe apparently hit Meri's house because there's packaging and boxes strewn all over the floor.  That's right, folks, you too could be wearing clown costumes that once dusted the floors beneath the sainted wet bar.  Call now, and we'll throw in some pastry crumbs as a free gift to you!  Back on the couch, Robyn tells us with a frown that Kody liked Coyote Pass until he saw Cottonwood.  Meri tells us that she and Kody just returned from Flagstaff, "not 48 hours ago," and now they're going again.  Christine tells us that Janelle is the deciding factor between Team Cottonwood and Team Coyote.  At Robyn's, Mindy tells us that she will not be leaving Las Vegas with the horde.  Robyn explains that Mindy is her niece who has lived with them for 6 years and it's tough to think about not having her with them.  At Christine's, Truely talks about leaving her friends and how hard it is to make new friends.  On the couch, Truely tells us that she doesn't know if she wants to go on the trip.  Plus her mom told her there's no wifi there.  At Janelle's, she gives Axel a slurp of whatever she's drinking in her red solo cup.  She tells us again that moving away from Axel is really hard.  At Robyn's, Kody gets a hug from Sol while she packs up a bunch of supplements.  Oh lord, now everyone's in the street arranging cars.  They're taking 7 vehicles because different people need to leave at different times, and apparently nobody wants to share the air with Kody's hair because he's riding alone and quite pissy about it.

We're now at the Cottonwood property, which Kody loved.  Robyn, however, tells us that the long dirt road set off an alarm bell for her.  Is she wearing a Star of David or a kiddie's toy sheriff badge?  Shelbi greets Kody, Meri, and Christine with hugs.  Christine also bemoans the dirt road.  Shelbi leads them on foot up a steeper dirt road, which is Robyn's strike two.  Janelle interviews that she just needs trees and four seasons because she's, "pretty simple."  Yup.  She says it's heaven and she's automatically instantaneously in love with the property.  She tells Shelbi she'll make the rest of the family sign papers today.  She's going to write the check from family funds herself.  Kody silences all the kids' chatter to make them hear the wind in the trees.  They're not smiling.  On the couch, one of the Robynettes says it was the prettiest place ever, while Gwendlyn says she was disappointed.  Back on site, Shelbi tells the group they could have horses and chickens, there's no HOA, and essentially no rules.  While Kody plays hide and seek with Ariella, he interviews that he doesn't like rules and restrictions.  Shelbi mentions they could build four homes here or just one big one, and Kody freaks out.  Ixnay on sharing a itchenkay, Elbishay!  Janelle is still in love and thinks she's gone temporarily insane.  Shelbi again goes in for the hard sell, mentioning that the "busy season" is coming up.  Christine interviews that she doesn't need the pressure and is going to tune Shelbi out.  Gwendlyn thinks the spot is ugly, and Christine tells her she'll only have to live there for 3 years and then she can move on.  Gwendlyn doesn't want to live in rentals for a year.  Someone has written, "Flagstaff Dirt," on the filthy rear window of one of their caravan of cars.  Kody gathers everybody up for a show of hands of who likes the property.  Gwendlyn and Tony do not.  I see Tony is once again wearing Pedro's wig from Napoleon Dynamite.  He notes that Robyn did not vote.  Robyn is abstaining until she sees both, and complains that she was trying to remain unnoticed until Tony piped up.  Good luck with that while you're wearing highlighter yellow, Robyn.  (More sartorial miscellany:  I think her necklace is actually a six-pointed flower, which Gwendlyn interestingly enough was also wearing.  MSWC?  I prefer to think of it as a kiddie sheriff badge though.  Tony and Day'un both look like they could use some supportive undergarments of the feminine variety if you catch my drift.)  Kody tells everyone to head to Property 2 and he's going to try not to fall asleep from their dullness.  What an ass.  He thought everyone would think the site was awesome but they're not drinking the kool-aid.

Kody and the Dullards are now at Coyote Pass.  This place has restrictions that he doesn't like.  Robyn tells us she's worried about having to live at Cottonwood.  Janelle says this site looks a little more, "desert."  On the teen couch, Gwendlyn says she likes it more than Cottonwood but Aurora thinks the ground is really unattractive.  Meri tells us that this site does not sing to her the way Cottonwood did.  More discussion of restrictions.  Robyn tells us that she's watching Janelle like a hawk because she already knows Meri's opinion of this place.  Meri tells us that she's distancing herself because she's afraid everyone will like this property more than her beloved Cottonwood.  Janelle tells Robyn that she likes this site better, and I don't buy into stealth Robyn but she actually looks pretty calculating as she interviews, "She said it!  It's only the CC&R's that are in our way!"  Janelle interviews that at the end of the day she doesn't care where she lives.  Keep on striving your way out of that apathy, Janelle.  She tells Kody that she's not interested in Cottonwood after seeing Coyote.  Kody replies that he's not interested in Coyote.  While Kody tries to get the wives together, Shelbi tells Christine that the kids probably should not be playing in the dirt because the prairie dogs have plague.  Heaven on earth, people.  "Prairie dog sh*t is poisonous!" Kody tells the kids.  Robyn, Christine, and Janelle like Coyote.  Meri still prefers Cottonwood but will go along with whatever.  Kody tells us that Meri is being emotional about trees and not practical about having to run an actual household.  Say what?  She's on your side!  Kody, getting more flustered, asks if the wives are willing to spend less on the actual buildings if they subdivide the Coyote land.  Robyn tells him he needs to go eat something and that they're not going to make agreements out here in the dirt.  The crowd loads up into their cars, and being filmed from behind does this group few favors.

We're back in the land of exile and the adults are meeting at Janelle's to discuss their trip.  Kody wants to gauge if they're still leaning toward Coyote Pass or if he can sway them to Cottonwood.  Christine says she liked Cottonwood but clearing the land of all those magical, life-changing trees would be a lot of work.  Janelle brings up her secret plot with Shelbi when she first saw the Cottonwood property, because she knows the Browns take forever to make a decision and property moves really fast, but she liked Coyote Pass better.  Kody asks Meri for her opinion next.  Meri asks Kody why she is next.  Robyn interjects, "Because you're his first wife."  "Oh whatever, you're his legal wife," retorts Meri.  "Oh gag me with a pitchfork, who freaking cares about that," is Robyn's pithy comeback.  Somebody get a pitchfork!  Christine tells Meri that unfortunately she only has Kody and Truely on Team Cottonwood.  The rest want to eat poisonous prairie dog sh*t.  Robyn tells us that the Cottonwood property reminded her of living in the Montana mountains and having to deal with forest fires.  Since they'll have to start out in rentals anyway, Meri wonders if they shouldn't wait and keep looking for a property that speaks, er, sings to everybody.  Sounds reasonable to me.  Kody insists that they would not go through with buying Coyote Pass with all the restrictions currently in place.  Meri tells the group that she's ok with Flagstaff but has nothing against their current life in Las Vegas.  "We're a transient family," says Christine, to which Robyn covers her ears and exclaims, "Take that right back out of the universe!"  She's done with moving.  Kody says that he didn't marry a girl from his hometown so he's never had a home since he's been married.  Say what?  Also, to hear them tell it now, their time in LV was never going to be permanent because they built 4 homes with resale in mind instead of one plyg home.  Christine is adamant that one home is NEVER. going. to. happen!  Kody refuses to discuss this now.  "But you've got another plan inside your head you're going to try to have us do?" asks Robyn.  Kody again won't say.  Eventually the talk turns back to the timeline.  Janelle and Robyn don't want to put their homes on the market until they're already out, so they don't have to keep things presentable.  Meri lets everyone know that she's going to be out of town for most of the summer, and she has to move Mariah to Chicago.  Kody doesn't know why Mariah can't get herself to Chicago.  He's shut down.  Robyn is waiting for divine inspiration about the move, because apparently the choir of heavenly host wasn't enough.  Well apparently the Holy Spirit moves quickly because Kody wraps up the meeting by asking if they're all ok with making an offer on Coyote Pass.  "Hallelujah!" exclaims Janelle, "We're finally doing something!"  You know, in theory you could strive to do something every single day, Janelle.  Just food for thought.

We're only halfway through, folks.  Deep breaths.

Kody tells us that Mitch and Aspyn are coming over and want to talk to him about something.  Aspyn tells us that due to Mitch's Scottish ancestry they're going with a Scottish theme at their wedding.  That will include a kilt for Mitch, a handfasting ceremony, and a bagpiper.  Aspyn presents Kody with a box containing his very own kilt.  There's discussion of sock and shoe color.  Kody tells us that Sol is very shy and doesn't want to wear a kilt.  Uh, ok.  There's discussion of what's worn under a kilt but I'll spare you.  Mitch then presents Kody with a sporran decorated with a claddagh, or "colada" as they all say.  More discussion of underwear.  Sol comes in and still says he's not going to wear a kilt.  Truely interviews that she's going to wear a white drapey dress.  Kody shows off some leg, then interviews that Mitch and Aspyn were brought together by God.  God's certainly putting in overtime with the Brown clowns these days.  

After a commercial for Utah (seriously!), Kody is on the phone with Shelbi.  Their offer on Coyote Pass was countered, and the prices they're asking are out of the Browns' budget.  Kody's idea is to accept the asking price but only put 10% down.  He also wants the CC&R's removed in writing.  The wives join him in Christine's library.  They only have X amount of money, and if the price is above X they'll have to walk away.  Janelle tells us that she's emotionally invested now and can't be financially prudent, so the committee in this case is a good thing because it's cancelling out her nuttiness.  Meri's vote is, "whatever."  Kody fills like she's not in 100%, and she doesn't know how many times she has to say that she is.  Janelle interviews that she's also waiting for a bit more enthusiasm from Meri.  Robyn wishes that the 5 of them were all on board.  Meri doesn't want to fib about her fillings.  The meeting wraps up and Kody asks Meri to stay behind for a minute.  He wants to apologize for not being more understanding (?!) about the Cottonwood property, and says that he liked it too.  We must be missing some back story because Meri gets weepy and references a bunch of extra work the Cottonwood property would have required.  Meri says she understands and needs Kody to quit asking if she's coming along.  Kody says his question is whether she's coming emotionally.  Meri is tired of filling pressure to respond to the family a certain way.  She will move with them and enjoy it, and she doesn't know why they don't believe her.  "Thanks for chatting with me," says Mr. Smooth as he turns away.

At Christine's house, Maddie is wrangling big round folding tables for Aspyn's bridal shower.  Mitch will also be attending.  Aspyn is wearing a tank top that says, "nacho average bride."  I assume that was a gift from Mykelti and Tony.  She instructed Mitch to close his eyes if any naughty gifts or games come up.  The girls are making mimosas but Christine doesn't like the taste.  Janelle interviews that she grew up as a teetotaler.  Robyn doesn't know what that word is.  Maddie is obsessed with Christine's centerpieces, which consist of a mini globe, some confetti, and a framed photo.  Maddie explains that the theme is traveling from Miss to Mrs.  They're also putting up an "arch" (uhh, it's rectangular) that Mitch constructed for the wedding.  Christine tells us he's a great carpenter.  While the ladies are working in the kitchen, Kody comes in to pull Robyn and Christine over to Janelle's house.  The seller has responded to their offer and Shelbi wants to talk.  Janelle assumes it isn't good news.  Meri arrives and Kody tells her where to sit.  Everyone is anxious.

Janelle has a, "pit in her stomach," as Kody gets Shelbi on the phone.  Shelbi tells the group that the offer was accepted and the CC&R's are gone, but the seller will not put in the utilities.  While Robyn explains to us what utilities are, Kody muses that that won't be a huge cost.  But for someone who apparently just got what he wanted, Kody is stressed.  They have to sell their LV homes to be able to afford building in Flagstaff, find rentals... Robyn interrupts that train of thought to say that she sat down with him SIX MONTHS ago and asked him if he understood what all moving would mean.  Janelle points out to Kody that she also raised the possibility that they'd have to be in rentals all over town.  Kody feels like, "a soldier going to war."  He doesn't like having his family spread out and the amount of work is freaking him out.  He has less children at home to help him ("Fewer." - Stannis Baratheon) and more stuff than he's ever owned at any other point in his life.  He's also sad about not seeing his older kids and Axel.  Christine interviews that it's a bit late to be worried about that.  Kody lays it out that they've put all their assets into land, not homes.  "We also have to buy rentals," says Meri.  Interesting...was that a slip of the tongue or not?  Sheriff Robyn is confused to see Kody like this when he was the one pushing so hard.  He was the one who always wanted to go work in the plague-infested dirt with his kids.  "We need to make sure everyone's on board," says Robyn.  Uhh, I think that ship just sailed, sweetie.  Kody points out that Meri has said nothing.  He wants the move to work out, "well and beautifully," for her.  Sounds like something you'd say to your retiring co-worker.  Meri reiterates that she's fine but that the amount of money they'll be paying on everything, plus everything else going on this summer, is daunting.  Kody interviews that he's, "pissed at the responsibility."  He asks who wants to put their house on the market first, and Christine excuses herself to get back to the shower with Robyn.  Meri leaves Kody sitting there without a word.

We're now at the shower where Aspyn is grooming Mitch's beard.  Kody tells us that Aspyn asked everyone to focus on the event today and not discuss the move.  Oh, heaven forbid Mr. Responsibility's brainchild isn't the center of attention.  Aspyn tells us that all the talk of Flagstaff drives her crazy.  She's looking forward to getting married.  On the couch, Janelle says they've had 3 weddings in 2 years.  Back at the party, Maddie gives Aspyn a bride-to-be sash and crown.  They jump into a game where Mitch has to correctly answer questions about Aspyn.  For every correct answer, a dollar is pinned to Aspyn.  Klassy.  And speaking of which, in the audience Mariah is wearing a shirt that lets a whole lot of back flab hang out.  We move on to gifts, and immediately see a negligee and thong and camisole set that goes together.  "It can go on the floor together, too," says former twerking bride Mykelti.  Aspyn opens more lingerie and on the couch Christine exclaims, "Grandbabies!"  The wives tell us that Aspyn has also requested a moratorium on move talk at the wedding.  Still sitting alone in Janelle's living room, Kody tells the film crew that he really likes seeing his kids everyday.  He struggles with Ariella being his last, and he doesn't want to miss a minute.  In Flagstaff everyone will be apart, but they're leaving a secure place for a place with more hope.  

Next time... the wedding's here, and so is more uncomfortable innuendo.  Meri still has to convince everyone that she's moving with them.    At wedding time Aspyn's not dressed.  Oh noes!                       

Would you like to try your hand at recapping?  Come on over to the Recap thread and sign up for next week!

[Rabbit Hutch]

15 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

I would think Kody's name would be on the deeds of all the houses.  If not, he has no leverage over them at all.  

I dont think his name is on Christine's nor Janelle's Vegas homes, but it was several years ago and I may be wrong. Not sure about Robyn.

Edited March 11, 2019 by Rabbit Hutch
Spelling

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

I remember watching Buying Alaska and running utilities from the street to the house was astronomical in cost, like 100K  that was maybe 1/3 of a mile- I am sure Flagstaff isnt that pricey, but running electric, water & sewer has to be expensive.  I really didn't like Robyn in this episode, truth be told I don't like her normally, but this episode she annoyed me more than usual. Aspyn seems totally smitten by Mitch, I don't see the adoration reciprocated.  

[LucyEth]

Areas like that may have propane or oil heating and a septic tank.  Also well water.  It looked pretty remote, so there may not be sewers

Edited March 11, 2019 by LucyEth

[Rabbit Hutch]

41 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Seriously - is he transitioning??  If he just shaved Mykelti would have her own sister wife!

Honestly, I thought that was a female relative until I realized it was Tony.

[Kohola3]

1 minute ago, LucyEth said:

Area's like that may have propane or oil heating and a septic tank.  Also well water.  It looked pretty remote, so there may not be sewers

Which will undoubtedly add to Kootie's suffering since none of that was an issue in LV.  Welcome to remote living, idiot.

[Kohola3]

2 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

Plague Flats

Hee!

FT looks like the Bearded Lady in a circus side show.

Brilliant recap, as always, @LilWharveyGal!

Edited March 11, 2019 by Kohola3
Gotta get the name correct.

[LucyEth]

I still don't understand why they are moving from Las Vegas.  So far all I have heard is it's too hot and has gotten "too big".  They have nice houses and their children seem happy.

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

I still don't understand why they are moving from Las Vegas.  So far all I have heard is it's too hot and has gotten "too big".  They have nice houses and their children seem happy.

Robyn and Kody were "very Skeered".  Things were not what they seemed in Vegas anymore, and there were bumps in the night and howls and screams and chills going up and down their spines!  They needed to leave NOW because they were scared to live there anymore.  Plus - Dayton was going to college in Flagstaff and needed Robyn to move there to be with him.  This meant everyone else had to go.  Since Robyn dropped the bombshell on the show last night that she knew they were moving 6 months before Kody's presentation, we now know that Dayton had already applied and been accepted so the clan knew where they were going to go.

[Quickbeam]

1 hour ago, islandgal140 said:

I cackled when no one would ride with Kody on the trip to AZ. However, then I got kinda pissed because it seemed to wasteful to have drive that gas guzzling SUV with only 1 person in it. Couldn't they have consolidated and taken 1 less car?

I can't find Mitch as repugnant as Fat Tony, however, Mitch and Aspyn situation just makes me more uncomfortable than Fat Tony and his wife.  Fat Tony and Mykelti just seemed equally yoked (annoying and entitled) and they seem to dig one another equally. Why Asypn is so enamored of Mitch is utterly baffling. She seems way more into him that he is her. Plus, there is the whole plyg thing. Mitch says he hasn't heard the 'call' but is open to it.  Frankly, I think just being open to it is 'the call'. He just has it on hold until he can finesse Asypn into thinking she heard it too. 

I think there is a 1000% chance Aspyn will be in a plural marriage with Mitch. Which means their lack of any kind of connection won't matter so much. Just start pumping out babies......

[xwordfanatik]

16 hours ago, deirdra said:

Why didn't Kody ask how much it would cost to "pull utilities"?  If it includes water and sewer, it could be astronomical.  I know someone who had to replace their sewer line, ~75' to the back alley, and it cost Cdn$10,000.

Is Robyn menopausal? She keeps fanning herself.

The colour scheme looks like a girl-baby shower.

I haven't read all the comments yet.  Just now watching the shower set-up.

Robyn is fanning herself, IMO, because she's lying through her teeth about everythingk.  I worked for a woman that did that fanning thing when we (the workers) knew she was lying.  Her neck would even get red.  Robyn is such a bitch!

Yes, indeed, utility costs can really cost.  We had most of our front yard dug up many winters ago to replace the sewer line, and it was major money.  These people are idiots X 100.

Forgot to mention:  was there ever a shittier looking recliner than the one Kootie was sitting in?  Gawd, at least throw something over the bald areas!

[JoannKB]

It's so weird that the only thing they were considering when choosing between properties was how it "felt" or what the view was. Are the properties identical prices? Is the cost of building homes on them the same price? Aren't they in different parts of town? Is there one that's farther away from places they might need to go? Do any of them need to find a local job in the area? Is there a difference in the public schools? 

[TurtlePower]

14 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

I still don't understand why they are moving from Las Vegas.  So far all I have heard is it's too hot and has gotten "too big".  They have nice houses and their children seem happy.

So, just my opinion but having lived in Vegas, it’s not a great place to live for many reasons. It has grown and the vibe of the city has changed to “angry”. Even where I lived—on the outskirts—shootings and break-ins were becoming more common. I also work at a job where I get access to criminal goings-on in Vegas and honestly, I’m glad I’m outta there. There are nice areas in Vegas but you can’t just stay in that bubble all the time.

Also, it’s so hot you can’t run or hike during summer unless you drive to Charleston or get it done before sun-up. Vegas was not kind to the Browns—they all got fatter and dumpy looking from all that time indoors. 

I also lived in Flag and went to NAU. I’d choose that area over Vegas hands down, even despite it being more expensive.  It’s a more active, laid-back outdoorsy vibe. 

Just my thoughts. Some may disagree with me. 

[taragel]

I'm very surprised Robyn will be giving up her live-in babysitter/nanny so easily. And if they really gave a damn about Meri's feelings, they would do exactly what she suggested and just find rental places (which they have to do anyway) and look for a place later that they all love. This whole "we need to buy the plague-ridden dustbowl parcel right now so we can feel like we have something to look forward to" is so damn silly.

[SuzieQ]

Kody's meltdown at then end was really disingenuous!  He got everything he's been pushing for and now he's acting like a victim.  Between his dumb ass hair and the stupid crap that comes out of his mouth, I wonder how they haven't run screaming from him!

[SunnyBeBe]

8 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

So, just my opinion but having lived in Vegas, it’s not a great place to live for many reasons. It has grown and the vibe of the city has changed to “angry”. Even where I lived—on the outskirts—shootings and break-ins were becoming more common. I also work at a job where I get access to criminal goings-on in Vegas and honestly, I’m glad I’m outta there. There are nice areas in Vegas but you can’t just stay in that bubble all the time.

Also, it’s so hot you can’t run or hike during summer unless you drive to Charleston or get it done before sun-up. Vegas was not kind to the Browns—they all got fatter and dumpy looking from all that time indoors. 

I also lived in Flag and went to NAU. I’d choose that area over Vegas hands down, even despite it being more expensive.  It’s a more active, laid-back outdoorsy vibe. 

Just my thoughts. Some may disagree with me. 

I appreciate your candor.  Actually saying the truth about the matter appeals to me.  I just didn't get that from the show, imo. Maybe, they didn't want to appear to trash Vegas and turn off viewers from that demographic. 

[Pepper Mostly]

2 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

I cackled when no one would ride with Kody on the trip to AZ. However, then I got kinda pissed because it seemed to wasteful to have drive that gas guzzling SUV with only 1 person in it. Couldn't they have consolidated and taken 1 less car?

I can't find Mitch as repugnant as Fat Tony, however, Mitch and Aspyn situation just makes me more uncomfortable than Fat Tony and his wife.  Fat Tony and Mykelti just seemed equally yoked (annoying and entitled) and they seem to dig one another equally. Why Asypn is so enamored of Mitch is utterly baffling. She seems way more into him that he is her. Plus, there is the whole plyg thing. Mitch says he hasn't heard the 'call' but is open to it.  Frankly, I think just being open to it is 'the call'. He just has it on hold until he can finesse Asypn into thinking she heard it too. 

I laughed and laughed at Kody's little hissy fit. "No one wants to ride with me, wah! I'm so fun, WAH!" Yeah, Kody, the rest of your family saw a chance to get some of the oxygen in the room and grabbed it with both hands. Shut up and drive.

Aspyn does not have a chance. She's already being groomed, not just by Mitch but by her parents, to be a plural wife. Poor thing. 

[Lovecat]

My husband wore a kilt at our wedding, and you know what he wore underneath?  SHOES.  And he was dead sexy 🙂

Mitch, Kody, here's what it is:  If your kilt is a proper length, and you're wearing a nice substantial sporran (which not only holds your stuff, it keeps the front of the kilt from flapping up), then no one gets a peek at your junk, no matter how spastic your dancing.  And if they do, who cares??

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

[xwordfanatik]

2 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I grew up in just a regular neighborhood in Seattle, but step out the front door and look right for a view of the Cascade Mountains and left for a view of the Olympics. My idea of beautiful is so far away from Prairie Dog Flats or whatever it’s called. I know Kody snotted that Seattle and Portland (also in a lovely area) are not on his radar, but: They want trees? I regularly have to pull Douglas fir seedlings when I weed the garden. And I really doubt the State of Washington would waste a cent prosecuting/“persecuting” them unless they committed some kind of fraud (the only reason I can think of for “persecution” since Kody did not legally marry and file paperwork more than one woman at a time). Also Western Washington is largely liberal and they very likely would be left alone. Yes, even where it’s more rural.

but sure, go build on a plague-infested stretch of barren land. I’m sure construction won’t spread contaminants at all. Good luck with your gardens Janelle. 

Maybe we’ll see Kody starting to sport a prairie-dog-skin cap a la Daniel Boone. It wouldn’t look any stupider than his topknot. 

Ack!  I'm in WA, and would not want Kootie and the Gang as neighbors.

LOL, his stupid topknot.  He is revolting.

[SunnyBeBe]

3 minutes ago, Lovecat said:

My husband wore a kilt at our wedding, and you know what he wore underneath?  SHOES.  And he was dead sexy 🙂

Mitch, Kody, here's what it is:  If your kilt is a proper length, and you're wearing a nice substantial sporran (which not only holds your stuff, it keeps the front of the kilt from flapping up), then no one gets a peek at your junk, no matter how spastic your dancing.  And if they do, who cares??

I must say that I am curious as to whether that whole thing about being of Scottish heritage is a real thing for Mitch or was this a theme created by TLC to add some interest/fun/entertainment value to the show.  I mean, does he have family members in Scotland?  Was he raised with Scottish traditions?  Or did he do an DNA kit, get the results and suddenly grow a love for anything Scottish.  lol  

[Kohola3]

7 minutes ago, Lovecat said:

 And if they do, who cares??

I could die happy without ever thinking of Kootie's well used junk let alone seeing it.

I would care very much because I would be struck blind.

[SunnyBeBe]

3 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

I could die happy without ever thinking of Kootie's well used junk let alone seeing it.

I would care very much because I would be struck blind.

Maybe, it's me, but, for a parent to imply something about their junk and how it relates to the adult child's mother, in the presence of the adult child, is just creepy.  I hate that kind of thing.  An adult child does not need that vision in their head at all......nooooo.....

[neh]

5 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

 ITA. What exactly do they want from her? I suppose they are waiting for her to jump up and down and be all excited and smiles and phony like Janelle and Christine. Then there is the phony diplomat Robin. She said she  was quiet while looking at the properties because she  wants every body else to make their own decisions, she doesn't want to influence anybody. She is so full of it. She knows the only person she really has to influence about anything is Kody. I do not care for Meri but she got out voted on the land she wanted yet is agreeing to go with them so Yayyyyyy Meri should be all excited about that.

I also happen to agree with Meri about that ugly prairie plague dog shit property. Sure, you can see mountains but they are way in the background and where are all the trees they are all going on and on about? It's mainly wide open dirt. I don't get what the angels are singing about. 

The angels may be singing the Brown's way into heaven after they conract the plague!