S08.E03: Part 2+ Married at Second Sight

[2727]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

If these guys want a slim beauty, they should go pick one themselves.

Ha! Exactly. Same for the women on the show who hold tightly onto their own narrow standards. Dark hair, dammit!

So far, Luke comes off as fairly asexual to me. The guy must really hate engineering if he's willing to marry someone (LEGALLY) in order to promote his side hustle. Did he never consider that being (or being portrayed as) a jerk might actually hurt his reputation and business? It also seems deeply stupid from a marketing standpoint to admit that he himself has failed at the dream he's selling.

I'll be curious when the couples settle in if Luke, like Ryan, will be out several nights a week running his business or getting his beard re-shaved.

[gonecrackers]

2 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Who is Luke to be so fussy.  He’s not exactly God’s gift.  I wouldn’t call him handsome ..just average with that two tone hair and beard.  IMO, Kate is not chubby.

 

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Luke has every right to be fussy, people like who they like and that's that.  I don't think Kate is chubby either; maybe she doesn't wear clothes that flatter her.  I don't think Jasmine is chubby either.  

Agreeing with much of above, except, if Luke wants to be fussy he shouldn't sign up for something like this. Even if they had matched him with more his type, if that's the issue, there's no guarantee of 'chemistry' between any of the couples as we've seen this fail before in matches.

Side note: I'm glad to see women with a bit more weight on them - not "chubby" - just not rail thin, because not everyone is; that's okay & doesn't mean they're fat either.

2 hours ago, cardigirl said:

TV shows are fake.  Never expected them to be otherwise. 

JamieO plays herself up for her work & I feel, is fake in many ways besides her extensions, but this is serving her well for her TV/SM income.

2 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I personally don't find Kate attractive, however I also wouldn't sign up for this show. I too think Luke is just on the show to promote his business , but why do people go on this show for that? Surely there's a million other reality shows that one can go on to promote your business , but not have to get married to a rando in the process.

 

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

I didn’t like Kate from the beginning. She was too giggly for me and used the word “like” every two seconds. It’s just irritating. She totally looks like Lisa Welchel from The Facts of Life. What I think of her, however, in no way excuses the Luke is treating her. 

Kate is annoying with the laughing but Luke will be making sure she doesn't laugh much, if at all, during their failed "experiment". I agree it's all about his treatment of her.

Reg. his business - Cal said on Unfiltered a previous meeting would mean disqualification. Given Luke's speed dating business you'd think they would've considered the fact he had more of a chance than others to meet available singles, which could give him a better chance of having previously run into his match, which should have immediately disqualified him. But hey, I'm no 'expert'.

[Gem 10]

I’m wondering when this show was over, do all of the participants read this blog?  I’ll bet they do.  Luke is probably beside himself seeing people thought he was gay.  The salaries were probably a draw to suck them in, unless they are camera hogs, or they are too lazy to go out there.  Just because these “experts “ have degrees doesn’t mean they know how to match.  They match on similarities it seems.  The hubs and I have little in common but are married forever.  I have to say tho, he’s a sports jock but loves this show and 90 Day Fiancé.  Go figure, haha.

[Jack Sampson]

3 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Reg. his business - Cal said on Unfiltered a previous meeting would mean disqualification. Given Luke's speed dating business you'd think they would've considered the fact he had more of a chance than others to meet available singles, which could give him a better chance of having previously run into his match, which should have immediately disqualified him. But hey, I'm no 'expert'.

How could anyone know if there was a previous meeting until the bride is walking up the aisle?

[gonecrackers]

7 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

17 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Reg. his business - Cal said on Unfiltered a previous meeting would mean disqualification. Given Luke's speed dating business you'd think they would've considered the fact he had more of a chance than others to meet available singles, which could give him a better chance of having previously run into his match, which should have immediately disqualified him. But hey, I'm no 'expert'.

How could anyone know if there was a previous meeting until the bride is walking up the aisle?

He meant had they known the two had met, even briefly, beforehand, they would not have been matched.

There's no way really to know prior with anyone, but Luke is running a speed dating business (as we all know), & would be more likely to know many available singles thus more likely to be matched with someone he's encountered, even if briefly. If that is truly a disqualifying issue, then they should not have chosen him based on the likelihood being stronger for him.

But for some reason they ignored that & matched him anyway. Now they have the "This has never happened before in the history of MAFS!" angle. Maybe the 'experts' think it's exciting to say that, but it just shows their stupidity & lack of self-awareness. They say they take all things into consideration when matching, but if that's the case they overlooked something quite significant here (again), therefore look incredibly unprofessional, again.

[seacliffsal]

What really struck me about Luke was his expectation that once he recognized Katie, she would IMMEDIATELY recognize him.  That's why he smiled at her and looked directly in her eyes during the wedding ceremony and when they first started drinking champagne afterwards.  He just kept looking at her and smiling, waiting for her to recognize him.  Then, when she didn't recognize him his demeanor changed as he explained how she knew him.  As far as I could tell, he never looked her in the eyes again, nor did he flash the same smile again.  I think he was just shocked that he did not impress her to the degree that he thought he had.  I also found it interesting that he gave a warmer greeting and hug to her friend in the audience who he also met during one of his speed dating events.  I think he has a certain view of himself which if not shared by others turns him against them.

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, configdotsys said:

Just finished this second show. I'm watching On Demand so the episodes are broken up or something. I didn't see anything called Unfiltered in the list so I don't know if I'm watching parts out of order but this was just the regular show where the others got married....

I didn’t like Kate from the beginning. She was too giggly for me and used the word “like” every two seconds. It’s just irritating. She totally looks like Lisa Welchel from The Facts of Life. What I think of her, however, in no way excuses the Luke is treating her. 

I thought I got a tinge of gaydar from Luke's mannerisms but not fully. What I thought more likely is that he is one of those guys that if you are not on their personal, internal “I find you attractive” list, they will treat you like shit. I’ve never worn make up in my life. I don’t wear dresses or skirts or heels It’s not me. Never has been, never will be. I’m a very presentable, fully heterosexual woman, and wear nice clothing but am very particular about what I wear. I can’t even count the number of times that I’d go into a pizza shop and get short, curt answers from the guy behind the counter but if a dolled up gal came in, he was falling over himself talking to her. I’ve had the experience of getting on a very early bus carrying a container of coffee and being told by the driver that I shouldn’t bring that on the bus but the dress wearing, made up gals carrying their own containers were greeted with smiley good mornings. This has happened my entire life and I never lost sleep over it but I just know the type. 

I say this because Luke looks like the type of guy that determines in about a nanosecond if you are his type and if you are not, you are completely and totally disposable and he feels no obligation to be polite, civil or anything else. He’s entirely too above you to give you the time of day. But look what he’s done here. He’s gotten himself into a situation in which he feels that way but cannot simply walk away because he’s married. 

He is difficult to figure out. Was he raised in some really religious household or something? I get that he’s not attracted to Kate, but he doesn’t seem, well, sexual at all. I can’t quite explain it but there are some people that you meet that you notice that they never smile in a genuine way or participate in a conversation that shows some sort of depth. Someone said psychopath. I can actually see what that poster means. He’s very weird and strange and that these “experts” didn’t notice any of this stuff and coupled him with someone who did not match his stated preferences, it’s like they wanted a trainwreck. Great for TV, I guess but not for Kate.

On a purely superficial note: I thought Kate's dress was ugly in the extreme. All those buttons that that coffee color back was just awful to look at. 

I may get names wrong with some of the people but I see trouble in the future for Keith and the queen. He's a couch potato and grandma probably cooked his meals and did his laundry. He seems like a nice enough guy and not exactly lazy, but not willing to put much effort into anything. He'd probably rather spend weekends on the couch just chilling and has zero interest in fitness. She will expect him to mold to fit her expecations and accommodate what she wants and if he doesn't, I see lots of bickering. He doesn't seem driven, which I think is fine. There are people who are perfectly content to earn modest wages and live a pretty quiet, homebody, simple life. Queenie is not one of those people and will expect him to change. Hopefully he shows her the door if she demands that.

The Lincoln U couple are boring as can be and I seriously don't remember anything about them except their group picture at the wedding.

Stephanie comes across as a forced smile type person and as much as she goes on about how much fun she is, I don't see her being able to deal with AJ's constant joking around. 

Great post.

[Nancybeth]

I think what will be the death of Luke and Kate will be her bland, giggly personality.  She seems like a person who doesn't have strong opinions or a strong personality and I think it's going to bore/frustrate Luke.  

[red12]

22 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

I think the producers are afraid of interracial relationships on the show. They are afraid of possible serious discussions on racial issues and/or the possibility of matching someone who is secretly a bigot with a person they could potentially harm in some way. I think it would be interesting to see and reflective of real life, provided they could really weed out racists. I think it would be interesting to have a gay couple as well.

I understand a little of their trepidation if it is a person who has never dated outside of their race and does not specifically express the preference. I think it would also affect a person's perception by the audience if they actually showed the genuine responses to being asked the question.

But, I also realize that there are plenty of racists who date, marry and procreate outside of their race. The black population of the United States for example would look very different if racists were unable to be attracted to anyone who was not white. So, I think that it would be more reflective of reality and interesting to watch a couple or two trying to negotiate some of the uncomfortable moments that American socialization, pre-conceptions and family interactions across race lines can bring. I also agree that I would love to see a couple whose relationship is not heteronormative as well.

[Neurochick]

3 hours ago, configdotsys said:

The Lincoln U couple are boring as can be and I seriously don't remember anything about them except their group picture at the wedding.

I agree.  And they'll probably make it.  Most of life is routine and boring anyway.

[Bridget]

During the first Unfiltered episode with Jasmine & Luke, once the teaser of Luke “knowing” Kate had been mentioned, there was a conversation about the idea of possibly having run into one’s future mate previously, but not knowing it. 

Once he was engaged, Luke specifically said how odd it was to walk down the street and wonder if he was walking by his future wife. He also said he looked at every woman at the gym and wondered if “they had the same secret.” Those were his exact words. Not “I wonder if she’s my future wife” or “Is that the woman who I am going to marry?” I thought his choice of words  was quite interesting. 

I understand the obvious requirement of deleting dating apps and online dating profiles, but I’d imagine that the only way to keep the whole “first sight” aspect authenticity would be to sequester the couples in different hotels around the city - and that isn’t an option. 

Luke had a business (or three) to run. Kristine had properies to show. AJ was probably interviewing employees for his new business. People have careers, money to earn and other “adulting” responsibilities that require them to interact with other people, even if it’s their Uber driver.

For as horrible as Kate’s experience probably was, and it’s beyond sad that these “experts” based the odds of her marriage being successful on whether Luke found her attractive or not (I still cannot believe anyone signed off on those two!), I do have to say that her giggling alone would drive me nuts.

When I am around others who chuckle or laugh as a way to channel nervous energy or while in an uncomfortable situation, it drives me up the wall. I understand it’s an automatic reaction for some people, but it’s hard to be friends with them during tough times.

Maybe there are different types of nervous gigglers?

I used to have a friend at work who couldn’t contain a laugh to save her life and it was beyond annoying. I had been freaking out about something work related  and while I was venting to her, she sat there and giggled out loud. I remember being so irritated that I stopped talking about my problem mid-sentence, turned to her and said: “You know, I’m sure you don’t even realize it, but you have a habit of laughing when other people are freaking out. It’s not very comforting. It’s not helpful at all.”

(I’m a Pisces and most of us are not known for communicating that we are upset or pissed off. It usually takes a lot to have me tell you how I really feel!)

[configdotsys]

3 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I agree.  And they'll probably make it.  Most of life is routine and boring anyway.

Yes. I think they probably will too. I should have included that boring does not equal bad. 

[lh25]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Agreeing with much of above, except, if Luke wants to be fussy he shouldn't sign up for something like this.

This!  I just don't get people who come on this show either 1)with a very specific list of things they must have, esp. when they don't always share that list or 2)don't like being in the spotlight or claim that they are private/shy.

[Nancybeth]

Oh, I have a question about the Lincoln University couple (Jasmine and...Will??). He said he went there, and then I thought she said SHE went there, and that her dad went there.  But after that it seemed to be all about the dad having gone there and talking directly to Will about it..."oh, let's get a Lincoln U photo!"  Wouldn't it have been more interesting for the two of them to talk about how they went there at the same timeframe?  So then I thought maybe I had misheard and she didn't attend Lincoln U at all.  

When I meet people from my alma mater I'm usually curious about when they graduated and what they studied and oh, did you know this person or take this professor's class.  But her dad seemed more enamored of her groom then she did at that point.

[Lusterleaf]

Poor Kate. The experts should have never matched Luke with her- it was clear that she isn't his type and that he's not into her. During the reception where everyone was clinking the glasses, I felt bad for her when she leaned in and Luke still didn't kiss her.

Did anyone else think that Will's sister and Jasmine looked like twins?

If Keith is supposedly spoiled this may be a problem for "Queen Kristine".

AJ so far seems goofy but hopefully he doesn't end up annoying the crap out of Stephanie.

[gonecrackers]

45 minutes ago, Bridget said:

I understand the obvious requirement of deleting dating apps and online dating profiles, but I’d imagine that the only way to keep the whole “first sight” aspect authenticity would be to sequester the couples in different hotels around the city - and that isn’t an option. 

Luke had a business (or three) to run. Kristine had properies to show. AJ was probably interviewing employees for his new business. People have careers, money to earn and other “adulting” responsibilities that require them to interact with other people, even if it’s their Uber driver.

So far not one of them has run a business helping singles meet other singles. Considering how often he probably runs these, that in itself would expose him to meeting - many singles. He should've been disqualified just on that basis.

Edited January 10, 2019 by gonecrackers

[Empress1]

22 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

Oh, I have a question about the Lincoln University couple (Jasmine and...Will??). He said he went there, and then I thought she said SHE went there, and that her dad went there.  But after that it seemed to be all about the dad having gone there and talking directly to Will about it..."oh, let's get a Lincoln U photo!"  Wouldn't it have been more interesting for the two of them to talk about how they went there at the same timeframe?  So then I thought maybe I had misheard and she didn't attend Lincoln U at all.  

He's 7 years older than she is so they weren't there at the same time. (If they had been, they'd at least know each other by sight. Lincoln is small.) And it seemed to me that Jasmine's dad kind of steamrolled over that. If I recall correctly, Jasmine was like "You went to Lincoln? I went to Lincoln! And my dad did too, he's hardcore Lincoln!" and the dad was like "Wait, who went to Lincoln??" and it was a wrap from there because the dad was so excited.

[Nancybeth]

1 minute ago, Empress1 said:

He's 7 years older than she is so they weren't there at the same time. (If they had been, they'd at least know each other by sight. Lincoln is small.) And it seemed to me that Jasmine's dad kind of steamrolled over that. If I recall correctly, Jasmine was like "You went to Lincoln? I went to Lincoln! And my dad did too, he's hardcore Lincoln!" and the dad was like "Wait, who went to Lincoln??" and it was a wrap from there because the dad was so excited.

Ahh, that makes sense about the age difference...I couldn't remember.  And you're right, dad kinda steamrolled that.  I hope Jasmine's Dad and Will are very happy together.  

I agree, Luke's gig running speed dating events should have disqualified him.  Too high a likelihood he would have crossed paths with someone before.  I mean, if you're a realtor or a bartender or someone else in a service job, you're serving everyone -- single, married, men, women, gay, straight.  He was organizing and hosting events that were specifically geared for men and women to meet...a very similar target audience to men and women who would want to apply to be on a show where you are instantly married to someone.

[Kdawg82]

On 1/8/2019 at 11:04 PM, ChiCricket said:

So...nobody else got a gay vibe from Luke? 

(nothing wrong with being gay

YES! Thanks for finally bringing it up! His body lanuage etc tells me he's into exotic looking men. Not women.  Again...nothing wrong w/ that. Except going on the show seeking a woman! 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

38 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

So far not one of them has run a business helping singles meet other singles. Considering how often he probably runs these, that in itself would expose him to meeting - many singles. He should've been disqualified just on that basis.

 

True, Gonecrackers, but Luke presented himself as an "engineer" who also has what his friends refer to as his "side hustles". I don't know if the so-called 'experts' (or maybe production) gave him a stamp of permission to go ahead with running speed dating "side hustles" after he became engaged, or not-- but even if they did, I think he was clearly breaking their "no dating apps" rule, and that was a special exception that should never have been granted to him.

Edited January 10, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Kdawg82]

Award for WORST wing women EVER goes to Kate's bridal party. What a drunken mess of women! Pushing for Luke to have sex with Kate as they personally eye fu** this douche!? I feel like now that they know he's a douche they're so glad to see it. Couldn't bear Kate having a hot, sweet, sincere man, I'm sure!  They're why some women don't get along with other women. I'd never trust them based on that scene alone.  Then just abandoning their next thoughts mid conversation bc they realize they're way too drunk to be talking right now and this guy isn't feeling it...lest they become less attractive to good ole Luke! 

[Kdawg82]

1 hour ago, lh25 said:

This!  I just don't get people who come on this show either 1)with a very specific list of things they must have, esp. when they don't always share that list or 2)don't like being in the spotlight or claim that they are private/shy.

Yeah!!! Right!? And for ONCE, can the "experts" not match people with their total opposite of what they like!? If a man dates all exotic women, you pick the first blonde haired blue eyed pudgy-ish woman??!! Kate seems sweet but this isn't the right match. I know love and beauty are more than skin deep but for this, it sure helps to be ATTRACTED at 1st sight!

[Kiss my mutt]

I don’t see how Luke going on this show promotes his business very well. It kind of says, speed dating didn’t work for me so I went on a show! Plus after seeing how much of a douche he is I wouldn’t want anything to do with his “hustles” but people like to be connected to “fame” and probably would go because of his appearance on the show. 

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

So far not one of them has run a business helping singles meet other singles. Considering how often he probably runs these, that in itself would expose him to meeting - many singles. He should've been disqualified just on that basis.

Knowing these "experts" assholes, they probably recruited him from there........

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, Nancybeth said:

Ahh, that makes sense about the age difference...I couldn't remember.  And you're right, dad kinda steamrolled that.  I hope Jasmine's Dad and Will are very happy together.  

I agree, Luke's gig running speed dating events should have disqualified him.  Too high a likelihood he would have crossed paths with someone before.  I mean, if you're a realtor or a bartender or someone else in a service job, you're serving everyone -- single, married, men, women, gay, straight.  He was organizing and hosting events that were specifically geared for men and women to meet...a very similar target audience to men and women who would want to apply to be on a show where you are instantly married to someone.

So knowing all this, out of all the men they interviewed, they picked him?  Something very wrong here.  Common sense.  A reason to cause anguish and drama.  Shame on the experts and Producers.  They make a bride cry, or was she in on this fiasco?  I don’t know what to think anymore.

[aphroditewitch]

Kate's laughing seemed like nervous laughter. And later, especially after Luke was such a jerk towards her, it seemed more like  the kind of laughing a person does to let out emotion otherwise they would have cried. 

[ECM1231]

5 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

What really struck me about Luke was his expectation that once he recognized Katie, she would IMMEDIATELY recognize him.  That's why he smiled at her and looked directly in her eyes during the wedding ceremony and when they first started drinking champagne afterwards.  He just kept looking at her and smiling, waiting for her to recognize him.  Then, when she didn't recognize him his demeanor changed as he explained how she knew him.  As far as I could tell, he never looked her in the eyes again, nor did he flash the same smile again.  I think he was just shocked that he did not impress her to the degree that he thought he had.  I also found it interesting that he gave a warmer greeting and hug to her friend in the audience who he also met during one of his speed dating events.  I think he has a certain view of himself which if not shared by others turns him against them.

That was my impression as well. He ain't all that and a bag of chips, but he sure does think he is. 

[Mercolleen]

On 1/9/2019 at 2:40 AM, Ilovepie said:

I will be shocked if Kristine and Keith do not consummate on the wedding night. My husband was like, “oh they are totally going to do it tonight!”

 

Just watched their kiss and their hanging out on the couch, and I agree.

[Mercolleen]

So ... did all four couples spend their wedding nights on the SAME BED?

[spunky]

13 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Who is Luke to be so fussy.  He’s not exactly God’s gift.  I wouldn’t call him handsome ..just average with that two tone hair and beard.  IMO, Kate is not chubby.  She’s slim from the side and her face is round which makes her seem heavier, but still a beauty.  Jasmine is on the chubby side but nobody is shaming her.  All the brides were beautiful.  The guys weren’t too shabby either.  If these guys want a slim beauty, they should go pick one themselves.  If they can.  Apparently not.

p.s.  I’ll bet if Luke could have been matched with Jasmine, there would have been no complaints, but he didn’t go to Lincoln. Lol.

During unfiltered Luke was all bubbly and personable with Jasmine, unlike the cold fish he is towards Kate. He might have been happier with Jasmine or Kristine as his match since he has a type. At this point he's becoming Jephte.

[Yeah No]

On 1/9/2019 at 2:30 PM, LuvMyShows said:

I have not gotten the sense that people here are thinking Luke is gay because he doesn't like Kate.  The hypothesis seems to be based on mannerisms and an overall vibe.  IIRC, when Jephte wasn't attracted to Shawniece, people here didn't think it was because he was gay, so I don't get the sense that it's a hypothesis that people here just default to when the groom isn't attracted to the bride.

Thank you, I agree.  My own speculation on Luke's sexual orientation would have been the same even if he LOVED Kate.  I think the insinuation that thinking someone is gay is necessarily cliche, or used as a convenient excuse to diminish the person is what's cliche here, not the speculation on his sexual orientation.  And it certainly does not describe me.  I am a student of people going back many decades and grew up around a lot of gay men.  Sheesh, a gay man was one of the groomsmen at my own wedding almost 40 years ago!  And regarding Nick, I never thought he was gay, just screwed up.  Luke may be bisexual and screwed up, who knows what he is?  He could just be an extreme metrosexual douchebag.  But I don't think there's anything wrong with speculating on that based on the feeling one gets from him in general.  It's not necessarily done to diminish him or to blame that for what he's doing to Kate.  Let's separate his orientation from his being a douche while acknowledging that he could be both gay AND a douche at the same time.  I'm certainly doing that and I think others here were too. I think it would be wrong to conflate the two things together and I for one am NOT doing that AT ALL.

P.S.  I do acknowledge that a lot of young men today seem more effeminate to women my age than men from my generation.  Even taking that into account I'm still sensing more of that from Luke than usual which is one reason I'm wondering about his true sexual orientation.  I think he may in fact be bisexual.  Why the show was determined to match him with someone diametrically opposed to his very clear preference that way is beyond me.  Kate is about as white bread/milk fed as they could possibly find.

Edited January 11, 2019 by Yeah No
To remove a redundant word.

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, configdotsys said:

I thought I got a tinge of gaydar from Luke's mannerisms but not fully. What I thought more likely is that he is one of those guys that if you are not on their personal, internal “I find you attractive” list, they will treat you like shit. I’ve never worn make up in my life. I don’t wear dresses or skirts or heels It’s not me. Never has been, never will be. I’m a very presentable, fully heterosexual woman, and wear nice clothing but am very particular about what I wear. I can’t even count the number of times that I’d go into a pizza shop and get short, curt answers from the guy behind the counter but if a dolled up gal came in, he was falling over himself talking to her. I’ve had the experience of getting on a very early bus carrying a container of coffee and being told by the driver that I shouldn’t bring that on the bus but the dress wearing, made up gals carrying their own containers were greeted with smiley good mornings. This has happened my entire life and I never lost sleep over it but I just know the type. 

I say this because Luke looks like the type of guy that determines in about a nanosecond if you are his type and if you are not, you are completely and totally disposable and he feels no obligation to be polite, civil or anything else. He’s entirely too above you to give you the time of day. But look what he’s done here. He’s gotten himself into a situation in which he feels that way but cannot simply walk away because he’s married. 

He is difficult to figure out. Was he raised in some really religious household or something? I get that he’s not attracted to Kate, but he doesn’t seem, well, sexual at all. I can’t quite explain it but there are some people that you meet that you notice that they never smile in a genuine way or participate in a conversation that shows some sort of depth. Someone said psychopath. I can actually see what that poster means. He’s very weird and strange and that these “experts” didn’t notice any of this stuff and coupled him with someone who did not match his stated preferences, it’s like they wanted a trainwreck. Great for TV, I guess but not for Kate.

 

I think Luke is a classic narcissist.  You heard it first here.

That's why he turns off to and treats poorly women that don't tickle his particular fancy.  If you don't serve some purpose to him, you're "dead" to him.

His saying he felt dead inside after he kissed Kate is part of that, but it reveals that he himself is dead inside.  

Obviously he has come across hundreds of average women in his speed dating business and has in the process become immune (aka "dead inside") to being attracted to any of them, hence the comment after the kiss.  It's a superficial business and he is constantly swiping left.  By this point he has to go more and more exotic in his tastes to even have any interest in women at all.  He needs to find something more "different" than what he sees on a regular basis all the time.  But even after several years of that, even THAT is failing, hence his giving it "one last college try" by going on this show.  It's a desperate move, actually.  A crap shoot, which he knows is bound to fail.  But it also feeds into his narcissistic ego too.

The way he was so floored that Kate didn't recognize him also speaks of his narcissism.  How could anyone not notice or remember HIM?  After all, he is the star of his own show in his mind.  The worst thing in the world for him would be to think he was so average that even "miss average" herself Kate didn't see him.  Which is another reason why he might favor what he considers "exotic" women.  He can't be ordinary so he has to choose non-ordinary women to make that so.  Kate to him must seem like the embodiment of ordinary.

I think he will play the game of this show to look like he's determined to make it work, but only for appearance's sake.  I think he's probably under pressure from his family and friends to finally settle down.  I'm sure he's heard it all about how he meets so many women, why hasn't he met "the one" yet?  And he can't possibly look like a failure in that regard so he will defend his sincerity and commitment to the end even if he has zero feelings for Kate.  The secret to success is giving the appearance of success at all times - a favorite line from a favorite movie from 20 years ago.

I don't think he was raised in a religious household at all.  I wonder if he isn't at least part Jewish and perhaps from a non-religious, fairly socially liberal family.  His mother of the "low hanging fruit" pinged at least part Jewish to me.  I say that as someone who is about 23% Jew.

Edited January 11, 2019 by Yeah No

[Crazy Bird Lady]

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Luke is a classic narcissist.  You heard it first here.

That's why he turns off to and treats poorly women that don't tickle his particular fancy. If you don't serve some purpose to him, you're "dead" to him. His saying he felt dead inside after he kissed Kate is part of that, but it reveals that he himself is dead inside. 

Obviously he has come across hundreds of average women in his speed dating business and has in the process become immune (aka "dead inside") to being attracted to any of them... It's a superficial business and he is constantly swiping left. By this point he has to go more and more exotic in his tastes to even have any interest in women... But... even THAT is failing, hence his giving it "one last college try" by going on this show. ...But it also feeds into his narcissistic ego too. 

I've thought that, but I'm not sure. [Can you be a classic narcissist and be a psychopath??] 

Luke's way of treating women (in general) reminds me of the way a doctor "puts on their professional persona" before entering an examining room. The persona is fake, but they've used it so many times, it's automatic. They grab that doorknob, and the "persona clicks on. From that moment until they leave the room, they are diagnosing and treating a subject-- not talking to a man or woman (or whatever). Patients are strictly off-limits for any romantic thoughts or feelings, during the exam and afterward.

The secret of confidence and compassion with patients is giving the appearance of confidence and compassion at all times.

Quote

The way he was so floored that Kate didn't recognize him also speaks of his narcissism.  How could anyone not notice or remember HIM?  After all, he is the star of his own show in his mind.  The worst thing in the world for him would be to think he was so average that even "miss average" herself Kate didn't see him.  Which is another reason why he might favor what he considers "exotic" women.  He can't be ordinary so he has to choose non-ordinary women to make that so.  Kate to him must seem like the embodiment of ordinary.   

I think he will play the game of this show to look like he's determined to make it work, but only for appearance's sake. I'm sure he's heard it all about how he meets so many women, why hasn't he met "the one" yet? And he can't possibly look like a failure in that regard so he will defend his sincerity and commitment to the end...   The secret to success is giving the appearance of success at all times -a favorite line from a favorite movie from 20 years ago. 

I sincerely hope you're wrong about how this will play out. Kate is eager to be married and free of the 'dating scene' --but Luke is the dating scene!! I think Kate's nervous giggling is understandable under the circumstances, and certainly preferable to non-stop tears.  

I just hope that she will have the courage to stand up to both Luke & the 'experts,' and quit before she's completely beaten down emotionally. 

Edited January 11, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Empress1]

One thing I thought was really great was when Will's sister told Jasmine, "You're going to have so much fun in this family!" That's exactly what I would want to hear from my in-laws.

[Jax7917]

Part of why I wouldn't ever want to do this show (besides already being married) is not only because I'd be scared about what I'd think of the person.. but also because I wouldn't want to marry someone with the possibility that they won't be attracted to me. Luke should behave differently and should have kissed her because it was the right thing to do in the moment and he should give the marriage a chance, as he signed up to literally be open- minded... but the other person also needs to know it's a possibility the person you marry might not be attracted to you.. because that's a given no matter how conventionally attractive you are. Not everyone will be attracted to the same features. So that's why this show has such a bad success rate. The people are just matched together basically at random and if it happens to work out, that's just a coincidence. The experts are also very very bad at their jobs (though I think they intentionally match people poorly.)

[humbleopinion]

Production knew there was a pretty good chance that Luke, the speed dater organizer/hustler would recognize his bride... especially a woman like  Kate, who describes herself as being on all the dating sites.

They wanted the high drama.

However, they couldn't predict that Luke would be like Molly...counting on their "spouse" to keep the secret for the duration of the filming that they are repulsed by the match.

Both Luke and Molly went for the maximum hurt by using repulsed to describe how they felt.

Luke has high incentives to come out in his leather bow tie and  be the perfect Unfiltered guest because he needs to rehabilitate how he treated Kate during the filming.

 His eager beaver behavior is to get ahead of his bad behavior and hurtful words to Kate he knows is coming down the pipeline...

[Jack Sampson]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Production knew there was a pretty good chance that Luke, the speed dater organizer/hustler would recognize his bride... especially a woman like  Kate, who describes herself as being on all the dating sites.

Philly is huge and Luke's speed dating events probably reach fewer than 2-300 people.  It's more likely that production came to one of Luke's events and recruited everyone - at least gave out cards with the application website.  He might have remembered Kate because of her goofy hair or big boobs.  Kate didn't remember Luke because, other than organizing the event, he's unremarkable.

Edited January 11, 2019 by Jack Sampson

[Gem 10]

21 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

That was my impression as well. He ain't all that and a bag of chips, but he sure does think he is. 

Oh, poor little ole Luke.  So sensitive.  Kate didn’t recognize him so he’s going to make her life miserable.  What a wuss or should I say pussy?  Man up, Luke.  You are ridiculous.

[lids]

I get the feeling Luke is all about the sincere and honest persona he’s cultivated. I think he would have actually enjoyed it if Kate had remembered him, ribbed him about being there and they had a laugh about it later. But because Kate didn’t remember and on top of that acted like she was falling in love with him at first sight (when she had seen him 3 weeks ago and felt nothing), he’s annoyed with her and doubts that she can ever be the genuine hipster girl equivalent to his sardonic hipster male brocchacho. See, he knows this is now kind of fake and she knows and we know. And they know that we know. He just seems like he wants to save face and not come off like a poser.

On top of that, he had people clinking their glasses to make them kiss and awkward first dances. By the time he commented honestly about the awkwardness of Kate’s dress, you could tell he was desperately trying to evoke some sincere, genuine conversation from Kate. But Kate is a “nice girl” who really doesn’t even think that deeply about these things; so again, Luke was annoyed.

I do my own research watching this show (the matchmakers should call me). One thing I noticed about the people who sabatoge their relationship from day one is that they have an extreme fight or flight response. There should be some expert intervention to head that off from the beginning. Otherwise you get that guy Ryan who always claimed he had to go back to his house in NJ. Or you get heartless Ashley who would never put her purse down and also could not sleep in the house with David. Those are examples of anxious flight response. The other reaction is fight which we saw from Brooklyn Ryan with Jessica and Samantha with Neil. Those people come off as irrationally argumentative and, at least in Sam’s case, later admit that the anxiety of being pushed into that situation made them react like rabid dogs. Their reactions have nothing to do with their partners’ looks, their sexuality, etc. They just have a personality disorder that manifests under high stress. Of course, the experts should be checking for that anyway but maybe the pays not that great.

I’ve also concluded that the men who stay married are some combination of mama’s boys, short, balding, underemployed and not traditionally attractive. But the woman who stay married to this day are never over a size 6 and are standardly attractive. Lol, look for my research paper in the next Journal of Scientific Medicine.

[ChiCricket]

This is sad.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1004487/married-at-first-sight-s-jamie-otis-suffers-second-miscarriage-in-4-months

[spunky]

5 hours ago, lids said:

I get the feeling Luke is all about the sincere and honest persona he’s cultivated. I think he would have actually enjoyed it if Kate had remembered him, ribbed him about being there and they had a laugh about it later. But because Kate didn’t remember and on top of that acted like she was falling in love with him at first sight (when she had seen him 3 weeks ago and felt nothing), he’s annoyed with her and doubts that she can ever be the genuine hipster girl equivalent to his sardonic hipster male brocchacho. See, he knows this is now kind of fake and she knows and we know. And they know that we know. He just seems like he wants to save face and not come off like a poser.

On top of that, he had people clinking their glasses to make them kiss and awkward first dances. By the time he commented honestly about the awkwardness of Kate’s dress, you could tell he was desperately trying to evoke some sincere, genuine conversation from Kate. But Kate is a “nice girl” who really doesn’t even think that deeply about these things; so again, Luke was annoyed.

I do my own research watching this show (the matchmakers should call me). One thing I noticed about the people who sabatoge their relationship from day one is that they have an extreme fight or flight response. There should be some expert intervention to head that off from the beginning. Otherwise you get that guy Ryan who always claimed he had to go back to his house in NJ. Or you get heartless Ashley who would never put her purse down and also could not sleep in the house with David. Those are examples of anxious flight response. The other reaction is fight which we saw from Brooklyn Ryan with Jessica and Samantha with Neil. Those people come off as irrationally argumentative and, at least in Sam’s case, later admit that the anxiety of being pushed into that situation made them react like rabid dogs. Their reactions have nothing to do with their partners’ looks, their sexuality, etc. They just have a personality disorder that manifests under high stress. Of course, the experts should be checking for that anyway but maybe the pays not that great.

I’ve also concluded that the men who stay married are some combination of mama’s boys, short, balding, underemployed and not traditionally attractive. But the woman who stay married to this day are never over a size 6 and are standardly attractive. Lol, look for my research paper in the next Journal of Scientific Medicine.

In Ashley's defense I wouldn't want to be in the same house as David either. After watching 2nd Chances, he's a jerk. Not to mention Neil and Trey about him like the plague.

[LennieBriscoe]

Yep,  ITA with the "Bruised Ego Theory" for Luke (which, by the by, would not preclude his being gay). He repeated his astonished queries to Kate about her not recognizing him. It's as if he had viewed himself as his speed-dating venue's TRUE and UNDENIABLE stud and then felt "rejected" by Kate's non-reaction. So, "no kiss for you!"

And that's that.  The previews show his behavior towards his bride gets worse,  not better. But Luke will persevere---for the P. R. 

lids, Kate also now knows that Luke didn't fall for HER three weeks back. But the difference between then and now for both is that they were MATCHED based on various and sundry factors. Armed with this knowledge,  Kate is open to this man and this marriage; Luke, however,  seems to have forgotten why he singly and they together  are there. 

He wanted "deep,  genuine conversation"? Yes---with the bridesmaids. 😈

Edited January 12, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[aphroditewitch]

7 hours ago, lids said:

I get the feeling Luke is all about the sincere and honest persona he’s cultivated. I think he would have actually enjoyed it if Kate had remembered him, ribbed him about being there and they had a laugh about it later. But because Kate didn’t remember and on top of that acted like she was falling in love with him at first sight (when she had seen him 3 weeks ago and felt nothing), he’s annoyed with her and doubts that she can ever be the genuine hipster girl equivalent to his sardonic hipster male brocchacho. See, he knows this is now kind of fake and she knows and we know. And they know that we know. He just seems like he wants to save face and not come off like a poser.

On top of that, he had people clinking their glasses to make them kiss and awkward first dances. By the time he commented honestly about the awkwardness of Kate’s dress, you could tell he was desperately trying to evoke some sincere, genuine conversation from Kate. But Kate is a “nice girl” who really doesn’t even think that deeply about these things; so again, Luke was annoyed.

I do my own research watching this show (the matchmakers should call me). One thing I noticed about the people who sabatoge their relationship from day one is that they have an extreme fight or flight response. There should be some expert intervention to head that off from the beginning. Otherwise you get that guy Ryan who always claimed he had to go back to his house in NJ. Or you get heartless Ashley who would never put her purse down and also could not sleep in the house with David. Those are examples of anxious flight response. The other reaction is fight which we saw from Brooklyn Ryan with Jessica and Samantha with Neil. Those people come off as irrationally argumentative and, at least in Sam’s case, later admit that the anxiety of being pushed into that situation made them react like rabid dogs. Their reactions have nothing to do with their partners’ looks, their sexuality, etc. They just have a personality disorder that manifests under high stress. Of course, the experts should be checking for that anyway but maybe the pays not that great.

I’ve also concluded that the men who stay married are some combination of mama’s boys, short, balding, underemployed and not traditionally attractive. But the woman who stay married to this day are never over a size 6 and are standardly attractive. Lol, look for my research paper in the next Journal of Scientific Medicine.

Only an immature person acts the way Luke did over someone not remembering them after a brief interaction. He was running the speed dating event. He probably didn't interact with the individual people there much at all. 

Ashley had good reason to be wary of David. Her mother said that the show edited out David's angry outbursts. And considering the details in the arrest report from his past domestic violence arrest, Ashley dodged a bullet when she sensed that something was off with David. https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/married-at-first-sight-david-norton-ashley-doherty-91734/

And the show hid a lot about Ryan. After they were done filming Jessica alleged that he threatened to kill her and that she was fearful for her life. https://people.com/tv/married-at-first-sight-jessica-castro-is-terrified-because-of-ryan-de-nino/

Edited January 12, 2019 by aphroditewitch

[endure]

On 2019-01-08 at 11:22 PM, Yeah No said:

We have speculated on more than one person in past seasons that might have gone on the show for less than pure reasons, such as to promote businesses.  Which could be the case with Luke since all we hear about is his speed dating business.

 Maybe you just hit the nail on the head - what better place or show to cater to singles than this one and get your dating business known, maybe become a national franchise!

[Marsh]

On 1/10/2019 at 11:18 AM, Gem 10 said:

I’m wondering when this show was over, do all of the participants read this blog? 

I'm sure some of them do out of curiosity when they're bored.

Hi Amber.  Still with us?

And hi Dr. Blondie, PhD (pretty hollow dome).

[love2lovebadtv]

On 1/9/2019 at 10:50 PM, Jack Sampson said:

A few things:

1. There are plenty of reasons to not be attracted to Kate other than being gay.  Maybe he's just into fit women.  As much as I like her, she's awfully chubby.

2. So Luke emails Kate see if she can go to a speed dating event.  (People still check email?)  I'd assume this is a mass marketing email, yet he specifically remembers Kate and remembers that she didn't reply back? 

3. Jamie isn't "Aunt Pretty" anymore.

4. In the matchmaking special, there's a very attractive woman sitting next to Stephanie.  Pepper starts her speech, the camera angle changes and that girl is gone.  I'd love to see what happened. 

I don't think Kate is awfully chubby. And I have no idea whether she's fit or not. For instance, Kristine likes to work out but I would not have guessed that since she doesn't have an athletic build, just as I would not have guessed that Keith doesn't like to work out at all. I think she commented on his having an athletic build, which she learned is from genetics and couch surfing. I can't really say someone's unfit just because they have a larger frame than someone else. 

And anyway, Luke was apparently checking out Jasmine, who's definitely thicker than Kate. So there's that. 

[love2lovebadtv]

17 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Philly is huge and Luke's speed dating events probably reach fewer than 2-300 people.  It's more likely that production came to one of Luke's events and recruited everyone - at least gave out cards with the application website.  He might have remembered Kate because of her goofy hair or big boobs.  Kate didn't remember Luke because, other than organizing the event, he's unremarkable.

I prefer to think he remembers her because she's gorgeous, even though she's not his type. Her hair is fine and her boobs don't seem so huge that she'd be remembered specifically for that. She would have been a great match for his speed dating guests. As an organizer, it would make sense to remember her and reach out to her. 

[humbleopinion]

JamieO is annoying but she doesn't deserve anything less than sincere sympathy for her loss.

No snark because real life is not reality TV.

Edited January 12, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Starlight925]

On 1/11/2019 at 2:30 AM, Yeah No said:

I think Luke is a classic narcissist.  You heard it first here.

That's why he turns off to and treats poorly women that don't tickle his particular fancy.  If you don't serve some purpose to him, you're "dead" to him.

His saying he felt dead inside after he kissed Kate is part of that, but it reveals that he himself is dead inside.  

Obviously he has come across hundreds of average women in his speed dating business and has in the process become immune (aka "dead inside") to being attracted to any of them, hence the comment after the kiss.  It's a superficial business and he is constantly swiping left.  By this point he has to go more and more exotic in his tastes to even have any interest in women at all.  He needs to find something more "different" than what he sees on a regular basis all the time.  But even after several years of that, even THAT is failing, hence his giving it "one last college try" by going on this show.  It's a desperate move, actually.  A crap shoot, which he knows is bound to fail.  But it also feeds into his narcissistic ego too.

The way he was so floored that Kate didn't recognize him also speaks of his narcissism.  How could anyone not notice or remember HIM?  After all, he is the star of his own show in his mind.  The worst thing in the world for him would be to think he was so average that even "miss average" herself Kate didn't see him.  Which is another reason why he might favor what he considers "exotic" women.  He can't be ordinary so he has to choose non-ordinary women to make that so.  Kate to him must seem like the embodiment of ordinary.

I think he will play the game of this show to look like he's determined to make it work, but only for appearance's sake.  I think he's probably under pressure from his family and friends to finally settle down.  I'm sure he's heard it all about how he meets so many women, why hasn't he met "the one" yet?  And he can't possibly look like a failure in that regard so he will defend his sincerity and commitment to the end even if he has zero feelings for Kate.  The secret to success is giving the appearance of success at all times - a favorite line from a favorite movie from 20 years ago.

I don't think he was raised in a religious household at all.  I wonder if he isn't at least part Jewish and perhaps from a non-religious, fairly socially liberal family.  His mother of the "low hanging fruit" pinged at least part Jewish to me.  I say that as someone who is about 23% Jew.

 

I completely agree that Luke is a classic narcissist, for almost all the reasons you cited.

I gotta admit, I was 100% with you on your post until the last paragraph, about the religion/Judaism.  Bringing up Judaism with narcissism, or as a possible part of narcissism, is ridiculous.  To use the phrase "pinged Jewish" is not cool, not cool at all.  I would say that about any race, religion, or ethnicity.  

Luke to me, is simply an ugly man.  I don't get the appeal.  Ugh.

Edited January 12, 2019 by Sterling

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Sterling said:

I completely agree that Luke is a classic narcissist, for almost all the reasons you cited.

I gotta admit, I was 100% with you on your post until the last paragraph, about the religion/Judaism.  Bringing up Judaism with narcissism, or as a possible part of narcissism, is ridiculous.  "Pinging" Jewish is one of the most offensive things I've read on these forums.  

 

How is bringing up possible narcissism separately in a separate paragraph in the same post with saying his mother seemed Jewish to me offensive?  I in no way associated the two things in my post.  I think it's offensive to be perpetually associating things that have no relationship to each other in a post just to be offended, and you associated them not me.   I drew no relationship between the two and in that paragraph was just responding to the quote above my post about the possibility of Luke growing up in a strict religious home.  Meanwhile I did draw relationships between Luke's behavior and being narcissistic, not his ethnicity.  And BTW my father is half Jewish and I have Jewish great grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins so why on earth would I ever associate the two in my mind?  I even stated that I'm part Jewish just in case anyone might make any assumptions about my motives.  Please reread my post and the quote above it carefully and don't twist my words.

Edited January 12, 2019 by Yeah No