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S06.E05: Flying Monkeys and a Tank of Nitrous

paulvdb

By paulvdb
in Mom [V]

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Wanda

Wanda

Too much Tammy in an episode that should have completely focused on the primary friendship circle. Should have been an intimate episode without the wacky attempts at humor her character brought. There have been serious episodes in the past (Alvin’s death, Jodie’s death, Victor’s first stroke) that mined humor from tragedy. And it was done skillfully. Tammy was glaringly out of place.

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Poohbear617

Poohbear617

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(edited)

I liked and really related to this episode..but I agree with Bonnie on why didn't Wendy speak up earlier.

I know people  (me and my sister included) who felt such relief when a loved one suffering so bad for so long finally passes. You knew it was coming, made your peace and then you feel relief that all of the pain and suffering is finally over and they are at peace. They also were good showing how Marjorie got her life back..I don't mean that to sound cold..  My sister and I we spent 6 months giving our bedridden mother 24 hour care then another 5 visiting the hospice everyday. Then suddenly you realize you have more freedom...that's when the guilt hits and you feel bad because you have some freedom back. 

 

The show did good showing how Alvin's death threw Bonnie for a loop because it was sudden and unexpected. Marjorie was preparing for this everyday she cared for Victor.  Like Wendy said, she had already said her goodbyes.

 

I wish more people understood this, because unfortunately there are people like Christy who want to tell you how to grieve.

 

Well goodbye Victor. .it would have been nice to hear you say

CHRIST---EE.  PLOON-KIT

one more time.

Edited by Poohbear617
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Chewy101

Chewy101

2 hours ago, Poohbear617 said:

I liked and really related to this episode..but I agree with Bonnie on why didn't Wendy speak up earlier.

I know people  (me and my sister included) who felt such relief when a loved one suffering so bad for so long finally passes. You knew it was coming, made your peace and then you feel relief that all of the pain and suffering is finally over and they are at peace. They also were good showing how Marjorie got her life back..I don't mean that to sound cold..  My sister and I we spent 6 months giving our bedridden mother 24 hour care then another 5 visiting the hospice everyday. Then suddenly you realize you have more freedom...that's when the guilt hits and you feel bad because you have some freedom back. 

I have done hospice for a few family members now, and I get it too. That weird sense of peace and relief that it's over, and they are free, and now you are free. Christy doesn't get it. She hasn't been there. She is waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it's sweet how Marjorie has a good cry at the end. And Adam wearing the tracksuit? Precious!

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Spunkygal

Spunkygal

8 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Yeah, Tammy can go any time. 

She ruined this episode for me. If she's going to be a regular, I'm out. Today is the 8th anniversary of my precious mom's passing and I was so relating to Marjorie but Tammy derailed it for me. She is not needed. Love the actress, not the character. 

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bichonblitz

bichonblitz

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8 hours ago, Poohbear617 said:

I liked and really related to this episode..but I agree with Bonnie on why didn't Wendy speak up earlier.

Wendy did say she spoke up earlier but nobody listened to what she had to say. The all do tend to dismiss Wendy. 

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bichonblitz

bichonblitz

24 minutes ago, Poohbear617 said:

Thanks Bichonblitz, I forgot she had said that.

No prob. I think Wendy is one of the kindest and most overlooked in the group. All the girls have been featured in their own storylines except for her. I want to know more about Wendy!

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Tosia

Tosia

3 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

No prob. I think Wendy is one of the kindest and most overlooked in the group. All the girls have been featured in their own storylines except for her. I want to know more about Wendy!

Wendy was great in the episode when someone (Bonnie or Christy) went to the hospital where Wendy was a charge nurse.  I liked her assertiveness at her job. 

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Chewy101

Chewy101

(edited)
14 minutes ago, Tosia said:

Wendy was great in the episode when someone (Bonnie or Christy) went to the hospital where Wendy was a charge nurse.  I liked her assertiveness at her job. 

It was when Christy got pneumonia. She was so awesome in that episode.

Last week Wendy was super snarky, and this week she spoke up again, I wonder if the writers are finally building something up for her character. 

Edited by Chewy101
Another thought
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mammaM

mammaM

10 hours ago, Poohbear617 said:

 

Well goodbye Victor. .it would have been nice to hear you say

CHRIST---EE.  PLOON-KIT

one more time.

CRUSTEE. PLOONKIT

I remember him calling her crusty. ;)

 

And I love and relate to Marjorie. My dad had Alzheimer's and I said my goodbyes to him about a year before he actually passed away. 

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Sarah 103

Sarah 103

14 hours ago, Wanda said:

Too much Tammy in an episode that should have completely focused on the primary friendship circle. Should have been an intimate episode without the wacky attempts at humor her character brought. There have been serious episodes in the past (Alvin’s death, Jodie’s death, Victor’s first stroke) that mined humor from tragedy. And it was done skillfully. Tammy was glaringly out of place.

Tammy was out of place, but I would totally watch a series of web shorts about Tammy giving the plots of movies/plays/musicals and then she gets mentally distracted and starts summarizing something else. 

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iMonrey

iMonrey

Quote

She ruined this episode for me.

She didn't ruin the episode for me, because she was used somewhat sparingly, at least compared to last week. But I hope she's not the new series regular she seems to be. A little of her goes a long way and she should not have been included in the outing to take Victor's ashes to the orchard. She barely even knows Marjorie or any of the rest of them except Bonnie. I don't know why but the show seems determined to shove her down our throats.

I agree it was nice to see Wendy use her experience to make an important contribution.

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MissLucas

MissLucas

I loved that Adam was wearing the red velvet tracksuit in the last scene! I also loved the elevator exchange between him and Christy at the beginning - these two have such an easy-going and believable relationship. Of course Wendy would be the person best equipped to understand Marjorie's (non-)grieving process - glad the writers did not forget that. And of course given that group's dynamics nobody would bother to listen to her. More Wendy! The exchange between Christy and her sponsor was also great.

I did not mind Tammy this episode - she was used to bring some much needed comic relief and given that she's a newbie character with no deep bonds to Marjorie she was best suited for that role.

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Packerbrewerbadger

Packerbrewerbadger

This has become my favorite show. The rapport the women is amazing and they all crack me up!  And Adam this season is really coming into his own humor wise- last week his look after Tammy “ responded” to his handshake and this week, the bit about going to a show( “ a musical about a musical”? ) and the track suit bit. The humor is irreverent but it’s also funny!

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Bastet

Bastet

I missed last week's episode introducing Tammy, so she was just this bizarre interloper to me, which was distracting to say the least.  But I still greatly enjoyed Marjorie's story -- and Adam in the track suit.

I've always found Wendy the weakest character, and it's hard to judge whether that's solely because they don't develop her any, or whether they don't give her any more than they do because she's weak, so more focus on her would fall flat.  So I like when they use her in just the right way during her little bit of time, such as when Christy was in the hospital (I love that they'd all forgotten she was a nurse and were taken aback when she knew what she was doing; that was pitch perfect), and in this episode when she was the one to articulate that Marjorie wasn't acting the way they thought she should because even though the death is fresh, Marjorie is actually far into the grieving process because she had to say good-bye well before he died.  (And, yes, perfect that it turned out she'd said that already but they just talked over her and didn't register it.)

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eel2178

eel2178

18 hours ago, Poohbear617 said:

I know people  (me and my sister included) who felt such relief when a loved one suffering so bad for so long finally passes. You knew it was coming, made your peace and then you feel relief that all of the pain and suffering is finally over and they are at peace. They also were good showing how Marjorie got her life back..I don't mean that to sound cold..  My sister and I we spent 6 months giving our bedridden mother 24 hour care then another 5 visiting the hospice everyday. Then suddenly you realize you have more freedom...that's when the guilt hits and you feel bad because you have some freedom back. 

It's called "anticipatory grief." It is actually possible to get through all five stages of the grieving process before the person actually dies.

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ams1001

ams1001

7 hours ago, mammaM said:

CRUSTEE. PLOONKIT

I remember him calling her crusty. ;)

 

And I love and relate to Marjorie. My dad had Alzheimer's and I said my goodbyes to him about a year before he actually passed away. 

 

6 hours ago, Poohbear617 said:

You may be right. When I get home a may have to check out MOM on Hulu to make sure

I remember "Crusty," too.

 

My aunt died in March and she had been on hospice for a couple weeks and had been in severe pain for years. Every Thanksgiving/Christmas for the past several years I was always a little surprised she managed to get there. The last day we all went to see her; she wasn't aware of us (for about a day by then), as far as we could tell, and I had a feeling she would go that night, after her daughters and grandkids and siblings had all been there. I got a message the next morning from my mom that she had died around 3am. It felt like she was waiting for us and then she knew she could go. So while it's sad, it's a relief at the same time. Not so much that we had said our goodbyes (she was still cognitively fine), but we were prepared for it. My mom cried more when we put her cat to sleep in July than when her sister died. So I get what Wendy was saying.

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60sgirl

60sgirl

5 hours ago, iMonrey said:

She didn't ruin the episode for me, because she was used somewhat sparingly, at least compared to last week. But I hope she's not the new series regular she seems to be.

According to the shows co-creator, Gemma Baker, Kristen Johnston will be featured in 3 episodes.  I also see that Violet will appear sometime this season.

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AlwaysWatching

AlwaysWatching

5 hours ago, MissLucas said:

I did not mind Tammy this episode - she was used to bring some much needed comic relief and given that she's a newbie character with no deep bonds to Marjorie she was best suited for that role.

Tammy is killing me!  I love her. "Mom" was and is my favorite sitcom and Tammy ( yes, I watched Third Rock from the Sun when it originally aired :-) ) has made it even funnier. I watched last weeks episode at least four times.  I'm going to watch this one later tonight for a much needed mood lifter.

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Blakeston

Blakeston

To be fair to Christy, I think that if one of the other women had lost a loved one, and showed no emotion - and chose not to share at meetings - Marjorie probably would have been all over them.

It's entirely understandable that Marjorie wasn't feeling grief the way one might ordinarily expect. But she was obviously going through something, even if it was just guilt at not feeling more grief. And Marjorie is the one who encourages everyone to share what they're going through, so I can see why Christy wanted Marjorie to share.

Christy should have just dropped it once Marjorie made it clear that she was handling it her own way. I'm just not sure Marjorie would accept that coming from anyone else.

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SmithW6079

SmithW6079

Kristen Johntson has always acted "big" in whatever role she has, so I'm not so terribly put off by Tammy (although I still think she belongs in a halfway house, not Bonnie's house -- wouldn't her parole officer have to be involved?). What really bugged me was at the end, when Marjorie has the obligatory breakdown, Tammy rushes over with the rest of the ladies to pat her on the shoulder. I don't think Tammy belonged there at that moment. 

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athousandclowns

athousandclowns

I would not like Tammy included in the situation under the circumstances. I was very sensitive to noise and people arguing or bickering really bothered  me.   Actually listening to friends bicker still bothers me.  Marjorie's buying the blouse and macaroons is spot on to me.  I believe nature sometimes gives you this fog in order to get through those first days because I when think back to the memorial service it was like I was at a reception of some kind. 

I agree Tammy needs to be in a group home.  Bonnie's fiancé still has his apartment to escape to yes? 

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wendyg

wendyg

I have long wanted the show to give Wendy some storylines of her own. That they haven't is certainly not down to the actress's abilities - Beth Hall is fabulous and *so* funny. Compare Wendy to the same actress as Roger's secretary, Caroline, in MAD MEN.

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theatremouse

theatremouse

I was very bored by this episode because even if I buy that Christy is just too Christy to understand without Wendy saying it what was happening with Marjorie, has Christy ever watched a TV show? That's seriously what it felt like to me. This trope is so tired, so obvious, so something we see on TV all the time. And I know there are no new stories and it's all in the execution, but the execution of this one was...bland? Automatic? Predictable? I don't know what phrase I'm looking for. Maybe paint-by-number. Even the orchard being a Costco now.

Separately, I know this is my own fault and the statute of limitations for spoilers in general media is well over for Wicked, but I hadn't seen it yet and it's coming to town in a month and well...damnit, I got this far without knowing what this episode told me about the end So, that scene bugged me and I didn't realize in time to pause or not watch it.

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possibilities

possibilities

I think of it as Marjorie just being so in her own feelings that she didn't have the energy to analyze it or be a mentor to Christy. It's like how doctors aren't supposed to treat themselves, or be their own shrinks, or do so for family members. When you're grieving, you don't have the energy to step outside it and explain it. Even if she had already gone through a lot of the loss before Victor died, she still was sad, and in pain, there's a whole backlog of that which you can't even express while the person is still there and which will hit you after they are all the way gone, even if there's also that numbness or relief. I think it's rarely just one feeling.

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Blakeston

Blakeston

13 hours ago, theatremouse said:

I was very bored by this episode because even if I buy that Christy is just too Christy to understand without Wendy saying it what was happening with Marjorie, has Christy ever watched a TV show? That's seriously what it felt like to me. This trope is so tired, so obvious, so something we see on TV all the time. 

I'm curious - where else have you seen a plotline like this? I watch a lot of TV, but I can't recall ever seeing a plot where someone doesn't feel grief upon a loved one dying, because they've already gone through the stages. Or were you talking about a different part of the plot?

13 hours ago, LadyKenobi said:

With care, this show could be the new "Golden Girls," but it's probably too late in the run for the network to dedicate that much to it. 

I mean hell, they've already got a Dorothy (Marjorie), a Rose (Wendy), a Blanche (Jill), and a Sophia (Bonnie). 

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60sgirl

60sgirl

(edited)

In my last post I wrote that Kristen Johnston was appearing in 3 episodes, that info was from sitcomsonline.com, but I see from other sources that she's in at least 2 more, so who knows how many more she'll be in.  Sorry for the wrong info.

Edited by 60sgirl
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funky-rat

funky-rat

On ‎10‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 6:38 PM, eel2178 said:

It's called "anticipatory grief." It is actually possible to get through all five stages of the grieving process before the person actually dies.

Yep.  A family friend got a lot of crap for taking up with someone else not long after her husband died.  She nursed him and cared for him for FIVE YEARS.  It really used to annoy me.  They never understood that when you are long-term with someone's illness that they technically died a long time ago.  Other women who had lost their husbands were still wearing their wedding bands years on, judging her.  Made me angry.

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