Season 6 Discussion

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, lucy711 said:

I am with Jonathan in that ridiculous fight.  If Fernanda thinks she is old enough to get married, then she needs to act like an adult.  Or, maybe he needs to teach her how to be a wife.  In my book, a wife doesn't throw a fit just because her husband goes out one night with a few buddies.  If she can't handle it yet, then maybe she should still be clubbing at home with her friends and come back when she is a bit wiser and more mature.  Jonathan is just dim-witted to think that he can reason with her the same way he could with a woman his age.

And calling daddy to complain about your big fight is a sign of how childish she is. I think she has a daddy complex anyway.

Jonathan paid for her college and her apartment, a long list of stuff from Amazon , the boobies, I think she had braces too,  and the car.

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, JennyMominFL said:

I thought he said he got the baby his passport but  I could be wrong. A normal passport can take 6 weeks, but you can pay more for an expedited one right way. But either way, if he got his citizenship he is entitled to a passport

I didn’t see him pulling it out and showing it to  her. He kept talking “citizenship”. Producers are probably editing it to keep up the suspense. 

[hookedontv]

10 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Can you imagine, just imagine, if Eric bailed in any way on supporting Alless?  Unless he adopts him there is no legal right to do so.....so man oh man Leida would flip a couch over if that were to happen.

Leida’s in luck then. It must be pretty easy flip over a couch that’s filled with air! 

[Kdawg82]

9 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

Men are so easy to trick when it comes to not getting pregnant and I can’t imagine Asuelo is a challenge! 🤣

LoL! I was thinking the whole time how Kalani could probably walk him into his own vasectomy, have him sign off on it, & he'd be none the wiser. Cruel thought bc F that! He wants kids and it's his right - but just a giggle bc of how simple the man comes across. 

I hate the expression "he GOT ME pregnant!" Mr. Kdawg and I had a pregnancy scare not long ago and began blaming each other on whose "fault" it would've been.  Then we just laughed and laughed and laughed . How f'n ridiculous to even debate. How many does it take to tango?...exactly.  

 

ETA: Paragard is the copper IUD that is hormone free. I'm sure while BF'ing it is safe to use.. I think as they say the foreigners have "anchor babies," this is Kalani's "5 minutes of fame reality tv surprise" baby#2. 

Edited December 18, 2018 by Kdawg82

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

100% - like they say, there's a lid for every pot.

Jon and Fernanda's situation is different than our dating years, though.  She's stuck in a house alone. She's already feeling like she'll have no relationship with Jon's family.  She's terribly homesick. And he's out, and ignoring her.  

Then he comes home and lists all the things he's bought her, and he can fuck right off with that garbage.

Then she’s smart to go home. His family is in Chicago, she’s not going to see them very often. He works long hours, that’s the nature of his job. Its not  going to change just because they’re married and Fernanda is bored at home. Especially since she seems to like all the nice things he can afford. Bored? Read a book, take a walk, meet the neighbors.... maybe there’s some young moms or college students she can make friends with. . 

He was 45 minutes late, she acted like he was gone for hours. Fuck that shit of calling and texting “ where are you?” “Come home, I need you”

According to the conversation she partied plenty with her friends while he stayed home and he didn’t have a hissy fit. 

[iwasish]

4 hours ago, the-grey-lady said:

Ashley doesn't want a horny teenager? Whew. Good thing Jay finally hit the big 2-0!

I know Auselu gets a lot of flack around these parts for being less than brilliant, but watching Kalani complain about being pregnant and then admit that she was having unprotected sex - without any understanding of how the latter led to the former - was soul-deadening.

Watching Steven sit there dead-eyed as Olga cried about the thought of having her son ripped from her arms made me want to fire him into the sun via cannon.

I never thought I'd see the day, but it finally happened. Larissa's ridiculousness finally made me feel...sorry. For Colt. Watching him dance like a marionette, trying desperately not to LOOK AT A WAITRESS actually made me sad.

I actually thought Colt was goofing on her. Pretending to be scared, the waitress knew from the previous visit that Larissa was nutty. Larissa didn’t do anything to help herself with that scene. If I were Colt, I’d have apologized to my friends given them carfare home, paid for their dinner in advance, taken Larissa home told her to pack her shit and buy her a one way ticket home. No piece of ass is worth that crazy. He can find another computer companion that will be more than happy to share the house with Debbie.  Colts looking for harmony at home  and ass. If a woman can manage that, I’m betting , she’ll be driving around in an air conditioned vehicle and have a nice sofa that both she, Debbie and Colt can  enjoy. I’m not saying she needs to be a doormat either, there’s a time and place for a bit of spice... in the parking lot with dinner guests is not one of them.

[Baltimore Betty]

Each couple is so lopsided, each US citizen lords the …"or I will send you back to_________." Even the brokest US citizen lords what little money over the import as control.  None of these people are on equal footing and have no conversation about how while the USer will be gone all day at work, the import is never prepared emotionally to be in the US alone and communication is sparse between them as well.

Why do the imports arrive without any money?

Also, there should be an agreement between them that they are not allowed to say "in my culture" or "I left everything to come here."  

It should be rule that the importer should share with the importee that they will be living on a farm, in a big city, in the suburbs, in a hot climate, in a cold climate, etc...where ever they will be living will be vastly different than where the importee is from, it always is. 

Maybe the importer could get an Uber account set up with a membership to the local Y, a library card. etc...

Why can't they make a Cosmo quiz to find out if the couples should start the K1 process.

[CSS.MD]

Random thought:

Eric is showering all the unconditional love he should only be giving to his daughters to Leida.

5 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Each couple is so lopsided, each US citizen lords the …"or I will send you back to_________." Even the brokest US citizen lords what little money over the import as control. 

I get super frustrated at how afraid Eric is that Leida might return to Indonesia.

(Am I the only one who thinks she’s just bluffing and really needs Eric more than he needs her, or is my dislike for Leida messing with my objectivity?)

I wanted to SCREAM when he said he sees himself spending the rest of his life with her.

She’s going to leave his ass as soon as she gets that green card (though, I’m not sure anyone would want to date/marry her after seeing her on this show—so maybe she is stuck with him for life).

[VagabondDays]

6 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Yes, financial support until 18. Good luck with that homeless Steven.

I really hope he did attempt to take their baby to US with him and ends up in the gulag.  This dipshit has no clue to take care of himself, much less an infant.

“Homeless Steven” just gave me life.

[Splithair]

18 hours ago, Bridget said:

A few posters in the Live Thread suggested that Fernanda hop in her Jeep and volunteer/keep herself busy since she’s so bored during the day.

I can’t believe I’m defending a teenager who wants her mother-in-law to be her BFF and for everyone else to love her (plllllleaase!), but....last time I checked, it’s against the law for her drive in the US during the first 90 days.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if Fernanda (and other foreign spouses-to-be) had gotten into her Jeep and wanted to participate in organized activities during the day, there isn’t a whole lot anyone can do by themselves during the first 90 days, especially from the legal side of things.

She isn’t legally allowed to drive in this country (I’d imagine Larissa was in the same position) and while we did hear about Jay driving Ashley’s car at night,  he’s either an idiot who didn’t know/care about the restrictions or he had some all powerful international/Jamaican license to use in case he needed to show ID. I don’t remember the exact requirements for initially getting car insurance here, but I’m pretty sure the foreigners can’t be added to their future partners’ plans on day 10 even if they have a license to drive in their home country. 

I don’t even know what the rules are for foreign spouses to work or go to school after they’re married and are waiting for their green card (it’s way too late to Google), but in terms of volunteering before anyone says “I do”, those options are more limited than you’d think.

Many places that need/take volunteers (libraries, humane society, hospitals, senior citizen communities) also require fingerprints, TB tests, background checks, and valid identification. Most companies can’t/won’t risk allowing someone to volunteer, no matter how great they are, if they can’t provide certain documentation. Most companies don’t even want to take the time to train someone only to have them end up leaving a few weeks later.

A lot of the manufactured drama seems to stem from desperately bored folks who are homesick and irritated with the limitations that are placed on them. 

I don’t know what’s holding “the foreigners” back from walking through their neighborhoods, stopping for a coffee & small talk with the locals or even attending a lecture or art show at a library. I realize we aren’t dealing with a group of Einsteins, but if they’d ever actually leave the house by themselves during the day, they might be a lot happier. If they could be on some sort of schedule, get out and go somewhere (utilize a ride share company, ride the bus/subway) to explore their new hometowns, and practice their English while interacting with others, I think they’d be a bit happier and a hell of a lot less upset, clingy and/or resentful. Just my 2 cents.

I know there are people on this board who have married someone and moved away to a new country. There are others who’ve gone through the K-1 visa process as well. Would anyone mind sharing what their first 90 days were like? You undoubtedly have much more knowledge than I do about this issue. Thanks in advance for sharing your experience(s).

My spouse and I met while she was here on a student visa, so she had a driver's license and car at that point.  We didn't do the K1, we did the immigrant/marriage visa route, so there wasn't the 90 days part.  However...

In the almost 3 years we spent waiting for the immigrant visa (she was originally here on a J1, which requires going back to the home country for 2 years before you can adjust your status), we fought A LOT when she got back, even though she had lived here for several years previously!  She struggled a lot with not having work experience here, so she had a lot of anxiety about finding a job.  She is also very introverted so she doesn't make a lot of friends outside of our relationship, which kind of makes me her only support here, which isn't all that healthy. 

I say all this to point out that moving to another country is really hard, even when you wanted to do it and you're not stuck in the house all day.  It's tough to understand if you haven't been through it, and a lot of people get incredibly homesick.

Of course Fernanda was way overboard, but she is young and scared and homesick, so I think that has a lot to do with her overreacting.  Jon wasn't wrong, but he's got to hang in there through this part and be as available as he can until she gets her footing.  It will pass.

[RealReality10]

Colt is the very very worst.  I hope Larissa ditches him in that boiling hot car the minute her green card comes in the mail.  Words cannot even describe how loathsome I find him.  Gross and yuck.  

 

Also, thank you tlc for setting up the visual of Natalie driving away on that scooter like a Russian bear.  

 

But seriously, how much did tlc pay that girl to make a fool of herself?

[HappyDancex2]

 Natalie riding away on the moped reminds me of that scene in Dodgeball where the Ben Stiller character jumps on the back of that white scooter driven by Michele.

[ChiCricket]

16 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

She truly is perfect match for GI Drunken Hobo, who, after the way he treated his own daughter with manufactured rationalization of it being much needed "tough love" deserves everything the Indonesian Succubus will dish out to him in spades. I'm keeping my fingers crossed they'll soon both live out of a car in eternal wedded bliss after he gets canned for showing up drunk to work

I hope this happens two seconds after he finishes paying off his child support.

[RealReality10]

LOL @ "we've seen Colt in other relationships" with who, his mother?  GTFOH colts friends

[ChiCricket]

16 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

 Bad, BAD Asuelu! 

Sorry. could.not.resist.

[sasha206]

3 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Why do the imports arrive without any money?

That's precisely why they are here?  I don't picture a Larissa here if she had any money.  Same thing with the supposedly wealthy Leida!

[RealReality10]

Why would you take colts non AC car on a double date??

[millennium]

9 hours ago, JennyMominFL said:

Richie IS a US citizen by birth. I dont think the US embassy can deny that. So hes entitled to a passport. However, if steven  tries to leave with him on that US passport the birthplace will say Russia. Russian immigration will see it. That means they will view him as a Russian citizen and ignore the American citizenship. They will want to see a visa for him and, Richie cant get one of those without Olga’s permision. I think Steven thinks he can just march the baby out of Russia since he has an American passport. I dont think thats the case.

Until I saw your post I didn't realize how ingrained and myopic my American arrogance is.  It never occurred to me that the baby is also a Russian citizen, thereby giving Olga equal or more powerful rights than Steven.   I just assumed American citizenship trumps all and that the baby's fate is in Steven's hands.

This is one time it feels good to be so mistaken. 

11 minutes ago, RealReality10 said:

Why would you take colts non AC car on a double date??

So Colt can roll up the windows and do a multi-player Dutch oven.

[RealReality10]

Tasha is 19, working a steady job and paying her bills.  What tough love lesson sis she need to learn?

[sasha206]

"Lastly we have Jonathan and Fernanda, two empty bottles of Red Bull who are hell-bent on making as much noise as possible before walking down the aisle. These two have the healthiest relationship of all the 90-day fiancés, so any tension producers attempt to drum up falls on uninterested ears. The problem with their relationship is there are no real stakes. The other couples have abductions, estranged daughters, secret pregnancies, hate crimes, and a mother-wife who just won’t quit."

This is quite possibly the  best summation of 90-Days I have ever read.

https://www.vulture.com/2018/12/90-day-fiance-recap-season-6-episode-9.html

[millennium]

17 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

 Cousin Unfriendly...

This is sublime.

17 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

 

Pound Town 3x a day? 

I'm trying to picture myself attracted to a woman who says "Pound Town" and I can't.

[RealReality10]

6 hours ago, Cammi said:

Opinions please: Do y'all think that if Kalani didn't have her family as backup/financial help, then they would've been more careful?

Do you guys think that in the back of her head Kalani knows that her family is there no matter what? To help her with child care, place to live, money etc. So she's just reckless and immature? I mean, if she didn't have any government help or help from her family, do you think she would've acted more responsibly? I just can't fathom in this day and age acting so irresponsible after the first unplanned pregnancy. At 30 yrs old! I can't say anything for Asuelo, because I'm of the unpopular opinion he is "simple minded". Not being snarky at all. I honestly wonder about his intellect. 

What would a Kalani do if her extended family said "Nope, this is your family unit now. You and your young man take care of it"? Thinking perhaps might be the best thing for her. Who is paying for these kids if neither one works??? 

She would totally be more careful if she didn't have the safety net of her parents.  She is not the type that would be okay living hand to mouth.  And you know she is never getting a job now.  She will have a second kid and ansulo WILL NEVER make enough money to keep her and the baby in the "proper" way so her parents will kick in and they will all blame him for not being a good enough provider.  

[KateHearts]

10 hours ago, JennyMominFL said:

A normal passport can take 6 weeks, but you can pay more for an expedited one right way.

even an expedited passport takes time- it's not ready the same day.

[KateHearts]

7 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

 

Eric is showering all the unconditional love he should only be giving to his daughters to Leida.

If what he is demonstrating is love, I've got to say he is a pretty emotionless guy.

[Kdawg82]

Shallow note: This is like the season for effed up eyebrows. Coltie and his sinister look when he scrunches his in a sociopathic expression (ie: "I was heartbroken"). Then Leida with her eyebrows. Can they become any closer together when she makes her demands and justifications? Finally (I think) Ashley with her crepey forehead.  Oh jeeze! She keeps scrunching her forehead and it is bad. I may have grown too accustomed to my housewives & other trash in general. I'm all for aging with dignity. But Ashley looks seriously dehydrated. Maybe bc Natalie with all her THIRST had sucked up all the beverage? But yeah Ashley's advanced years on Jay are showing. In 5 more years she will be very unfortunate looking, methinks.

Edited December 18, 2018 by Kdawg82

[HorrrGoodnight]

Just popped in to make the proclamation that henceforth, Leida shall be known as "Proper Priority". Back to watching the rest of this shitshow. 

[Cammi]

10 hours ago, iwasish said:

Then she’s smart to go home. His family is in Chicago, she’s not going to see them very often. He works long hours, that’s the nature of his job. Its not  going to change just because they’re married and Fernanda is bored at home. Especially since she seems to like all the nice things he can afford. Bored? Read a book, take a walk, meet the neighbors.... maybe there’s some young moms or college students she can make friends with. . 

He was 45 minutes late, she acted like he was gone for hours. Fuck that shit of calling and texting “ where are you?” “Come home, I need you”

According to the conversation she partied plenty with her friends while he stayed home and he didn’t have a hissy fit. 

Your are absolutely correct. However, Fernanda is a KID. Her body may be mature, but let's face it- at 19 yrs old, her mind is not a woman's. She probably hasn't figured out how to entertain herself yet. She is very pretty and was probably popular, so she might not have ever needed to acquire that skill.

Jon is marrying a needy, insecure, yet beautiful TEENAGER. That is on HIM. When you are in a relationship with someone that much younger (he is in his 30s right?), he better be prepared to be daddy, brother, caretaker, therapist AND lover. Don't like it? Don't marry a high schooler. He said in his talking head she was "very jealous" etc. He knew what he signed up for. She will probably continue to mature as she grows up, but Jon- already in his 30's- has probably reached his peak maturity. She is a KID, away from everything she knows. She is young, needy and feels lonely. Jon isn't bad looking, and has a stable job. I'm sure he could've found an age compatible, smart, intelligent, independent American woman within a reasonable driving distance. But he chose an international teenager and moved her away from her friends and family. I'm sure she was overwhelmed with his promises, gifts and adoration. I would've been at that age! I would've signed up for that for sure! At 19, what does she have to lose? And of course, she is going to call her family when she is in a disagreement with Jon. She. Is. A. Teen. 

I dated a much older man at 18, and I now see why some men go for young girls. I was very insecure, clung to him about everything, hadn't yet fully formed my own opinions, was easy to manipulate etc. As soon as I started maturing, it was over. I started standing my ground and was less needy and more confident. 

Jon made his bed with a very young woman. It will be a lot of work. Fern will continue to mature, As we all do. If Jon wanted instant maturity, I'm sure he could've found it. But no, he wanted a young, beautiful, spoiled, needy teenager so he could buy her Barbie boobies and mold her into his trophy wife. That comes with consequences. 

[CSS.MD]

6 hours ago, RealReality10 said:

LOL @ "we've seen Colt in other relationships" with who, his mother?  GTFOH colts friends

Oh the liessss... 😂😂😂💛🤣🤣🤣

Remember when Debbie went on the aftershow and claimed Colt had 4 exes who wanted a serious relationship more than he did?

6 hours ago, RealReality10 said:

Why would you take colts non AC car on a double date??

Because he’s a sadist?

And his sadism knows no boudaries?

[Mrs. Hanson]

10 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Why do the imports arrive without any money?

Also, there should be an agreement between them that they are not allowed to say "in my culture" or "I left everything to come here."  

It should be rule that the importer should share with the importee that they will be living on a farm, in a big city, in the suburbs, in a hot climate, in a cold climate, etc...where ever they will be living will be vastly different than where the importee is from, it always is. 

I agree, tell them you are not living like the kids on 90210, living in NYC in a penthouse, Dallas or Dynasty.  As to why they come with no money, the same always baffles me as to why people go ANYWHERE without an empty credit card.  I am going to Florida with my hubby to visit his mom over Christmas, I am bringing an empty credit card.  Let alone going to Turkey to visit some dude I barely know and to be forced to sleep near him or with him.   And no $$$ to get back home.  I may be older than these folks, but I think (no I know) even at 18-25 I would have shown better judgement.  But that would have been a boring show, no??

[sconstant]

On 12/17/2018 at 8:37 AM, StrongbyDefault said:

And while I'm on a Steven tear..."My son will NEVER grow up without a dad!"...but apparently it's NBD for him to grow up without a mother (aka his FOOD SOURCE!!!)  This kid is such a complete imbecile he has zero ability to see the hypocrisy in everything he says.  I seriously hate this clueless, narcissistic jackass. 

And as vile as he is, I think I still hate Leida more...

Steven and Leida are equally insane for the exact reason you point out - they don't understand that the argument they make is totally valid both for the point that they're arguing for and the point that they're arguing against.   (And in both cases that there other other reasons on that other side that more than lap their dumb side.)

Steven: This kid needs a dad - I was missing a parent when I grew up and it really affected me badly.  Thus, I will take the kid away from his mom.

Leida: Eric is making a commitment to me and my child, and when you make a commitment to a child they have to be your first priority, thus, he has to abandon his commitment to his other children.

Those holes in logic are so big that you could drive Eric's rental SUV, Fernanda's Jeep, and Coltee's no AC sedan through them side-by-side with no fear of scratching the paint on the Jeep or the SUV.  (Coltee doesn't mind if you scratch the paint on his car, he's only planning to keep it for another 8-10 years.)

[Chickabiddy]

12 hours ago, Drogo said:

Romantic partners are entitled to get upset about anything that upsets them.  Jonathan doesn't have some constitutional right to go out drinking with his friends without Fernanda getting angry. 

It's not really about being an adult, it's about respect. He doesn't know her, so he needs to be diligent about checking first to see how something he's planning to do will make her feel.  

Amen to this.

And just to add- 

My husband and I each give each other a very long leash. It’s been key to our 20 year marriage. We trust each other. We would never dream of sharing or asking for cell phone passwords etc.  For us it is unspoken trust and respect.

BUT - It was a dick move for Johnathan to go out and leave Fernanda because she IS stuck at home with no real options to go out with her own friends to blow off some steam. For 90 days, I would hope douche bro could just hang out with his fiancé. After she is more settled and has more of a support system here, he should feel free to go out for the occasional drink. But for right now, he should be gracious enough to appreciate the power imbalance and just be there for his future wife when she is feeling weak and vulnerable. We saw one scene where she was freaking out. Is no one allowed to have a bad day or a weak moment ? And I think it’s rich to say that Fernanda needs to act like an adult when we have seen plenty of “adults” far older than she is who acting like unhinged brats and making loads of bad decisions. 

Yes, she has social media and the Internet, but that is a poor substitute for actual human contact, especially for a vibrant extrovert. Fernanda has been in the US less than 90 days. Has anybody here ever moved to a new country and had their social network and new life in place by week 8, particularly if they are not working and meeting peoples that way? If so, I would love to hear about the magic formula.

As for using Uber/Lyft to get out to the library or wherever. That can be an expensive outing. American suburbia is known for its never ending sprawl of boring tract housing. Walking the neighborhood everyday could get pretty boring. and walking your way to to a strip mall or coffee place is in impossible. Most places don’t even have sudewalks. Ride services ain’t cheap either. 10 bucks as a lowball average each way is a 20$ ride to the library or Starbucks. Three rides a week adds up to  $240 bucks a month. And we already have Johnacthan throwing Fernanda’s Amazon bill and her boobs in her face. Who wants to add an Uber bill to his munitions pile? 

I have been in a very similar situation to all of he foreign fiancés, albeit in the opposite direction, and with a way better spouse. 😊Having walked in n their shoes, I have a ton of empathy for them. Try to imagine your last move to to a totally unfamiliar town or city. Now, layer on culture shock and a language barrier. Add to that the pressure of a new relationship, no job, and no wheels. And just think what a camera lens might have caught if you were having a bad day. 

And yes, I get it. They all made a choice to come here, and can always go home. But are you always thrilled with your daily life? It is, after all, the sum total of all your past choices. I just think a little empathy goes a long way....and it’s free! No monthly fee or down payment whatsoever. 😉

[Cammi]

10 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Each couple is so lopsided, each US citizen lords the …"or I will send you back to_________." Even the brokest US citizen lords what little money over the import as control.  None of these people are on equal footing and have no conversation about how while the USer will be gone all day at work, the import is never prepared emotionally to be in the US alone and communication is sparse between them as well.

Why do the imports arrive without any money?

Also, there should be an agreement between them that they are not allowed to say "in my culture" or "I left everything to come here."  

It should be rule that the importer should share with the importee that they will be living on a farm, in a big city, in the suburbs, in a hot climate, in a cold climate, etc...where ever they will be living will be vastly different than where the importee is from, it always is. 

Maybe the importer could get an Uber account set up with a membership to the local Y, a library card. etc...

Why can't they make a Cosmo quiz to find out if the couples should start the K1 process.

You are thinking in terms of a rational, normal, relationship based on mutual love and respect. Most of what we see on this show is a business transaction. Pure and simple. A Green card in exchange for sex. Most often because these horrible excuse for Americans don't want to work on themselves (lazy), and instead decide to punch way above their weight in terms of looks. They save every dime of their life savings to travel internationally to whatever fetish country of their choice, and then propose within 12 hours of meeting. These Americans are shallow, looks are all that matters ( to most). The first couple of seasons, I wasn't this jaded.... But after the Mohamud/Dinyell debacle, my heart grew black : /

Did you see Leida's disgust after Tasha suggested her Dad could do better? Leida exclaimed "Yeah right! He was all over ME!" It was obvious she so badly wanted to say "Yeah right! If there wasn't a chance at a green card, do you think I'd even let that ugly, smelly, gray skinned ogre TOUCH me?"

Business transaction, with a small dose of courtesy affection to make is somewhat realistic. I hardly EVER hear these people mention their mate's qualities other than physical. I never hear: kind, smart, sweet, nurturing, intelligent, good parent, etc., when asked why they want to marry. 

[Drogo]

11 hours ago, iwasish said:

Jonathan paid for her college and her apartment, a long list of stuff from Amazon , the boobies, I think she had braces too,  and the car.

She owes him nothing for this, and Jonathan would do well to remember that.  I find the fact that he's got a list of Times I Gave Fernanda Money at the tip of his tongue irritating.  

"Let's see, FerNAN!da... I've invested $400 into you this month... we can deduct $100 for the hour I ignored your calls/texts... so now you owe me $300... payable in silence and gratitude."

[Chickabiddy]

11 hours ago, iwasish said:

And calling daddy to complain about your big fight is a sign of how childish she is. I think she has a daddy complex anyway.

Jonathan paid for her college and her apartment, a long list of stuff from Amazon , the boobies, I think she had braces too,  and the car.

So because Johnathan has the economic power in the relationship, he can disregard and ignore his wife’s emotional needs and psychological vulnerabilities?  This isn’t a corporate merger where the weaker partner has to bow down to a he dominance of a partner with more valuable stock.

It’s supposed to be a marriage. Johnny better watch out. The next  recession or credit crunch could wipe out all his economic power with Fer paying the bills. And with the age difference, there may come a day when he has to rely on her for a lot more than an Amazon bill. Power balances can shift in a split second.

As for Fer calling her dad, it’s not like she can call up her bestie and go to the bar for ladies’s night to blow off some steam. 🙄

[sconstant]

21 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I took in a friend of my son's about 7 years ago [...]

Why, in 2018, are condoms and pulling out the only methods of birth control under discussion? Kalani should have a diaphragm if she fears hormonal birth control. There are a lot of options now.

Respect and gratitude for stepping in for a kid who needed you.

Re: the diaphragm, she can barely admit that she has sex.  Planning for it implies that it wasn't just a random heat of the moment thing.  I don't think she can admit that to herself.

[Kellyee]

Leida is going to systematically isolate Eric from all of his family and friends. His daughters and ex-wife are only the beginning. Next it will be his dad and anyone else with an opinion. Leida will use him to get whatever education she needs and her green card, then she will bail and we will have more shots of Eric crying as if he has no power over the situation. And I won't feel one bit of sympathy for Eric's pathetic ass. I can totally see why Leida's family didn't fight that hard to get her back to Indonesia. She only throws her child into the mix when she wants to get her way. 

I hope none of Eric's daughters attend that wedding. 

Is it really so horrible to be single that people are willing to put up with this shit? I have been single a long time, and its really not that bad. Certainly not bad enough for me to move an asshole into my house and spend thousands of dollars and alienate relatives to keep them around. 

I can't believe Kalani waited until she was 30 years old to have sex, and now just keeps getting knocked up over and over. Late bloomer??

[iwasish]

11 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Each couple is so lopsided, each US citizen lords the …"or I will send you back to_________." Even the brokest US citizen lords what little money over the import as control.  None of these people are on equal footing and have no conversation about how while the USer will be gone all day at work, the import is never prepared emotionally to be in the US alone and communication is sparse between them as well.

Why do the imports arrive without any money?

Also, there should be an agreement between them that they are not allowed to say "in my culture" or "I left everything to come here."  

It should be rule that the importer should share with the importee that they will be living on a farm, in a big city, in the suburbs, in a hot climate, in a cold climate, etc...where ever they will be living will be vastly different than where the importee is from, it always is. 

Maybe the importer could get an Uber account set up with a membership to the local Y, a library card. etc...

Why can't they make a Cosmo quiz to find out if the couples should start the K1 process.

I don’t get the “I left everything to come here”

Dont most of them have nothing in their home country and are desperate to get to the US?

Fernanda is really the only one who left at least a loving mom and siblings.  Not sure what standard of living she had, it appears Jon  spent a lot of money on her wardrobe and accessories. 

[Kangatush]

How weird and desperate is Eric?  I can fuck up my relationship with Tasha, cause I'll have time to try and fix it later.  But I have to kowtow to Leida now because she could go back to Indonesia.  Healthy love doesn't involve that level of emotional blackmail (true for all the couples).  And she keeps saying she'll go back, not we'll go back.  How awesome if she left Alless. 

2 minutes ago, iwasish said:

I don’t get the “I left everything to come here”

Dont most of them have nothing in their home country and are desperate to get to the US?

I wouldn't say most of them are desperate.  A few actually have real lives in their own countries.  Olga isn't desperate.  

And even if they were, it's really difficult to move to a new country where you only really know one person.  Even if their lives weren't awesome in their country, they at least knew the language and how to get around where they lived.

[Teriyaki Terror]

20 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

Leida is going to systematically isolate Eric from all of his family and friends. His daughters and ex-wife are only the beginning. Next it will be his dad and anyone else with an opinion. Leida will use him to get whatever education she needs and her green card, then she will bail and we will have more shots of Eric crying as if he has no power over the situation. And I won't feel one bit of sympathy for Eric's pathetic ass. I can totally see why Leida's family didn't fight that hard to get her back to Indonesia. She only throws her child into the mix when she wants to get her way. 

I hope none of Eric's daughters attend that wedding. 

Is it really so horrible to be single that people are willing to put up with this shit? I have been single a long time, and its really not that bad. Certainly not bad enough for me to move an asshole into my house and spend thousands of dollars and alienate relatives to keep them around. 

I can't believe Kalani waited until she was 30 years old to have sex, and now just keeps getting knocked up over and over. Late bloomer??

I'm single/no kids at 37. Sure I'd like to be married and have a family but it's not worth settling for a loser to get all that.

Also, my boyfriend of almost a year is 35 and is still saving himself for marriage (religious reasons). When I tell people this half don't believe me and the other half head's explode. I use to think waiting until you're 30 was crazy until I met my boyfriend. 

[RealReality10]

I generally fast forward past Jon and Fernanda because I find them sort of dull (which is probably good news for their relationship).

But, I do think that a lot of these couples know what they are getting into.  Including Fernanda.  I think she is perfectly happy being "kept" and feeding into that power imbalance.  She doesn't particularly mind being a bit of Jonathans dress up doll.  IMO.  By feeding into that power imbalance you kinda have to accept the power imbalance.

I didn't hear the whole fight, but I cannot imagine that Jon has ever been as cruel or punitive about the power inbalance as Colt.  

And ultimately Larissa sucks it up and accepts it and apologizes.  Because she has a greater goal.

[doyouevengohere]

12 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

Random thought:

Eric is showering all the unconditional love he should only be giving to his daughters to Leida.

I get super frustrated at how afraid Eric is that Leida might return to Indonesia.

(Am I the only one who thinks she’s just bluffing and really needs Eric more than he needs her, or is my dislike for Leida messing with my objectivity?)

I wanted to SCREAM when he said he sees himself spending the rest of his life with her.

She’s going to leave his ass as soon as she gets that green card (though, I’m not sure anyone would want to date/marry her after seeing her on this show—so maybe she is stuck with him for life).

My thought is how could Ledia just leave and go back home; with what money? Are her parents going to send her a ticket?  Cause that will take a couple of days.  Her threats are so laughable and weak; it was like a fake threat that a parent gives to a kid who doesn't understand how life works yet (put your coat on or I am going to pack up all your toys).  Eric is an idiot ; he should have called her bluff and been like "go ahead and leave then; don't be there when I get home from work".  She has no money and no means of her own to leave the apt., stay at a hotel, get to the airport , and buy a ticket to go back home.  Why would Eric even be terrified of this?  What a loser.

[Kdawg82]

**warning** Unpopular opinions ahead:

'Nanda / Jonathan: As I stated before, once you are married, there is little reason to go out to the bar/club/lounge with your bro's /girls. That's 45 min or time WASTED imo. There are responsibilities on the domestic front even without having kids. Having friends(s) over for a drink and a chat is quite another thing and I'm all for that as long as not a busy night for the couple. Problems arise and it's nice to have a sounding board if that's what you need.  But as Pastor Cal on MAFS (My other marriage sham show) said- and this is true from my 10 yr marriage experience- careful about airing your marital grievances to others. Once your disagreement dies out, you & spouse move on, the issues remain frozen in time with whomever you aired them to. It can sully your SO's reputation forever with that individual. 

Steven/Olga: Are they aware infants need to be weaned from the boob? 3 hours away from mom's boob to get a passport was maximum for Baby Richie at this point and Steven was already commanding "Feed him. Just feed him." What will he do on the plane in another 2 weeks with hungry Richie? My son is nearly 3 and he clings to me like I'm his oxygen. I stopped breastfeeding a little after he was 2 yrs old but he is SO obsessed with me. He loves his dad equally though.  No amount of scripting or editing will make Steven not a horrible human in my eyes. 

Larissa has a look about her like she is in on this. Whether just the kinky sex or idk what but she is in the know. Her teeth are yellow and eyes kinda creepy. They're each a certain brand of something. Coltie has high amounts of estrogen. His legs are bare. Between that and breasts, idk. 

[Lily247]

21 hours ago, lu1535 said:

I may have missed it but did either of these guys have a paternity test done or did they just accept the woman's word?

Im pretty sure Oliver is Asuelos baby...

[Kellyee]

Quote

Also, my boyfriend of almost a year is 35 and is still saving himself for marriage (religious reasons). When I tell people this half don't believe me and the other half head's explode. I use to think waiting until you're 30 was crazy until I met my boyfriend. 

I have no issue with Kalani waiting until 30 to have sex. None at all. But she waited, then chose a guy she doesn't really seem to like to lose her virginity to, and now keeps reproducing like a dysfunctional 16 year old on the other TLC trainwreck Unexpected. By 30, you should be mature enough to demand the guy you hate use a condom before he has sex with you. Regardless of "slut people". Especially when you don't even like him or respect him.

[Lily247]

1 hour ago, iwasish said:

I don’t get the “I left everything to come here”

Dont most of them have nothing in their home country and are desperate to get to the US?

Fernanda is really the only one who left at least a loving mom and siblings.  Not sure what standard of living she had, it appears Jon  spent a lot of money on her wardrobe and accessories. 

Fernanda is bullshitting. She had no real money in Mexico and im sure she was itching to get out. Her mom is a plane ride away, just like Jons family and many people in the US who stay on the same continent but move away. Jon pays for her boobs, wardrobe, car, tuition. This sugar baby complains too much. 

1 minute ago, Kellyee said:

I have no issue with Kalani waiting until 30 to have sex. None at all. But she waited, then chose a guy she doesn't really seem to like to lose her virginity to, and now keeps reproducing like a dysfunctional 16 year old on the other TLC trainwreck Unexpected. By 30, you should be mature enough to demand the guy you hate use a condom before he has sex with you. Regardless of "slut people". Especially when you don't even like him or respect him.

Kalani puzzles me. If she wanted to give her virginity away, she could have picked someone in the US, stable, mature, and someone she liked. I hope after this baby she will get birth cintrol finally. 

[Scarlett45]

6 minutes ago, Kdawg82 said:

Nanda / Jonathan: As I stated before, once you are married, there is little reason to go out to the bar/club/lounge with your bro's /girls. That's 45 min or time WASTED imo. There are responsibilities on the domestic front even without having kids. Having friends(s) over for a drink and a chat is quite another thing and I'm all for that as long as not a busy night for the couple. Problems arise and it's nice to have a sounding board if that's what you need.  But as Pastor Cal on MAFS (My other marriage sham show) said- and this is true from my 10 yr marriage experience- careful about airing your marital grievances to others. Once your disagreement dies out, you & spouse move on, the issues remain frozen in time with whomever you aired them to. It can sully your SO's reputation forever with that individual. 

I don’t think people hang out with their friends after they are married to complain about their spouse- I think that they hang out because they actually value their relationship with their friend and want to have a connection with someone that’s not their spouse. Most of my friends are married and we rarely talk about their husbands- we talk about ourselves.

 

I’d be highly offended if someone thought hanging out with me was “wasted time” because they were now married- Like I’m not a person worthy of friendship any more?!!

[LGGirl]

48 minutes ago, RealReality10 said:

I generally fast forward past Jon and Fernanda because I find them sort of dull (which is probably good news for their relationship).

But, I do think that a lot of these couples know what they are getting into.  Including Fernanda.  I think she is perfectly happy being "kept" and feeding into that power imbalance.  She doesn't particularly mind being a bit of Jonathans dress up doll.  IMO.  By feeding into that power imbalance you kinda have to accept the power imbalance.

I didn't hear the whole fight, but I cannot imagine that Jon has ever been as cruel or punitive about the power inbalance as Colt.  

And ultimately Larissa sucks it up and accepts it and apologizes.  Because she has a greater goal.

I agree 100% with the entire post. 

Of all the fiancés, Jonathan has appeared to be very good to Fernanda and is really trying to make her happy.   I don’t fault him for going out with a friend.  I like hanging out with my husband but sometimes you need that female bonding time. I would think men would need the same.   We have no idea what really transpired between the two of them, so I’m going to cut Jonathan some slack here.  

29 minutes ago, doyouevengohere said:

My thought is how could Ledia just leave and go back home; with what money? Are her parents going to send her a ticket?  Cause that will take a couple of days.  Her threats are so laughable and weak; it was like a fake threat that a parent gives to a kid who doesn't understand how life works yet (put your coat on or I am going to pack up all your toys).  Eric is an idiot ; he should have called her bluff and been like "go ahead and leave then; don't be there when I get home from work".  She has no money and no means of her own to leave the apt., stay at a hotel, get to the airport , and buy a ticket to go back home.  Why would Eric even be terrified of this?  What a loser.

Yup.  Eric is an idiot. 

[funky-rat]

On ‎12‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 1:59 AM, ChiCricket said:

You mean the purse she obviously bought in the kid's section of Wal-Mart?

I love fun purses.  Betsey Johnson makes a similar purse, and I have a number of her bags.  I have one that looks like a gumball machine, and one that looks like a phone, which you can hook to your cell phone, and receive calls on it.  No hate for that.

On ‎12‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 4:16 AM, Chickabiddy said:

Can someone  please explain to me how Eric can sit back and claim so sanctimoniously that Tasha is 19 and needs to grow up when she was the one who took in his broke ass after he was living in HIS CAR for several weeks? Whoever said that no good deed goes unpunished was so spot on. I just hope that Tasha has learned her lesson and leaves her dirt bag dad in his car after Leida bleeds him dry and dumps him....because we all know she will. I hope to hell that next time Tasha’s relationship math vis a vis her dad is just as cold and viscous as her dad’s was about her. 

If I were her, I would say he's only welcome to spend time with me if he leaves his shew at home....and you know he won't.  Then her conscience could be clear.  And when he's living in his car again, she can stop by once a week and give him a dollar, pat him on the head, and wish him well as she drives away.

On ‎12‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 9:38 AM, Kangatush said:

Look, some of us need to have some fun, and show some personality, by having silly purses.  I'm not going to hate.  A few weeks ago I saw a woman with a dinosaur purse.  I complimented her, and she told me his name.

There are a few reasons this gave me joy:

The scooter is not seen as a very powerful vehicle.  So it's like flouncing off after a fight and hopping on a unicycle.  

Scooters are small, Natalie is not (no hate, I'm a fat girl).  Big people on little things are comic to me.

On ‎12‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 8:27 AM, charmed1 said:

I live in a congested American city, so we have alternate means of transportation (subway, bus, rental bikes/scooters, Uber, etc.) but mopeds are generally something used by young teen boys, hipsters, and delivery people. Seeing a 30-ish? woman in a criss-cross top scooting around a residential neighborhood in the suburbs isn’t a very common sight.

I would love a dinosaur purse!

Scooters are a fairly common sight here in my part of PA, at least - especially in the summer.  They're cheap to buy, cheap on gas, cheap on insurance, and don't require a special license, like a motorcycle.  I once worked with a guy who lost his license, and he drove a motorized bicycle to work every day - even in the winter.  And sadly, bigger gals dressed completely badly are not uncommon either.  No hate on big girls as I am one - just dress appropriately.  I can't remember which of the Blue Collar guys used to say they loved a big gal who could strut like she owned it, but didn't want to see the word "JUICY" stretched to capacity across her butt.  I concur.

 

23 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Who the hell asked for that 90 day live episode?!?! I'm all up late and what do I get? Ashley's useless friend who provided no new info or insight in a dress with a mesh glory hole. Baby snatching Steven's mother figure who has only known him for 3 years telling me not to believe my lying eyes. Slimmed down Molly dressed like a blueberry with her bra hanging out. 

Her friends both appeared to be high AF on that episode.  One would have be to wear that dress.  I can't imagine where she'd wear that back home that wouldn't get infinitely more stares than they did at the farmer's market.

19 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Totally.  I think he can afford to fix the AC, but choses not too. 

To fix the A/C in my 1997 Dodge Neon with peeling paint would have been over $1500.  No way I was going to do it - it exceeded the value of the car, and I'm sure it's the same with Coltee.  It was a similar cost for my husband's Saturn SC2.  We just rolled the windows down until we could afford a better car.

21 hours ago, KateHearts said:

 Larissa is puzzling to me because she smiles at everything.   He's looking to send you packing? Grin.  You're pissed that he didn't notice your 2-hour makeup techniques? smile. 

18 hours ago, the-grey-lady said:

I never thought I'd see the day, but it finally happened. Larissa's ridiculousness finally made me feel...sorry. For Colt. Watching him dance like a marionette, trying desperately not to LOOK AT A WAITRESS actually made me sad.

That's why I thought she had some form of mental illness, and may not be good at taking her meds.  And while I have zero sympathy for Coltee, all of the screeching about the "True Compliments" crap was just unnecessary, and he's in for a world of hurt with her.

 

5 hours ago, KateHearts said:

even an expedited passport takes time- it's not ready the same day.

It can be in certain circumstances.  We had to get a Federal level Senator involved.  A few years back, we booked a non-refundable vacation to Canada, not realizing we now needed a passport to enter (dumb on my part, I know - I had been to Canada many times and never needed a passport, and just assumed, but I shouldn't have, post 9/11).  We actually had plenty of time to do the passport applications, but they announced they were raising the cost while we were in-process, and the State Department got flooded with requests for renewal, etc.  So they demanded a $100 PER APPLICATION fee for expediting.  We paid it.  We were 2 weeks out and still didn't have our passports when we found out the State Department screwed up with applications.  We had to drive to either Philadelphia or New York City (we chose Philly - closer and easier to navigate), hand deliver paperwork to the State Department, and wait 5 hours, but we walked out with our passports.  That was one week before we left for our trip.  Our Senator got it handled for us.  A woman from his office walked over there and got us the first appointment of the day.  She was awesome. 

[doyouevengohere]

23 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

I have no issue with Kalani waiting until 30 to have sex. None at all. But she waited, then chose a guy she doesn't really seem to like to lose her virginity to, and now keeps reproducing like a dysfunctional 16 year old on the other TLC trainwreck Unexpected. By 30, you should be mature enough to demand the guy you hate use a condom before he has sex with you. Regardless of "slut people". Especially when you don't even like him or respect him.

I agree.  I don't care if someone has reasons to wait and follow through with it.   But losing it to Rainman?  then thinking you have to marry him? I'm sure she is a product of the environment that she was raised in- religious and little sex education.  She seems very sheltered to me and her relationship with her sister speaks to that.  But you can't have it both ways- she wants to come across as an independent woman makin it on her own in LA who gave up Mormonism.  BUT that's not what she is; she made a baby out of wedlock with a guy that's not rich, her family is going to be disappointed either way- if she marries him or not, she is dependent financially on her parents.  She either needs to be all in with him and back him up in front of her family and choose him or she needs to send him home , take single motherhood by the horns and get a job to support herself and wean herself off of her family so she can live how she wants and the kids can go visit dad everynow and then and he can come there and visit them and she lives a life without him.  And by 30 even if she didn't have a stellar education in sex and reproduction, she could learn now, she could read a book or seek info online- it's not like she's cut off from the world.  I hope after this 2nd baby she learns what causes pregnancy and learns to take proper precautions if she doesn't want 20 kids running around that she can't afford.  If she wants to be having sex, then she needs to take the responsibility that goes with it; she's very lucky she didn't end up with an STD since Rainman was sleeping around.

Edited December 18, 2018 by doyouevengohere

[JennyMominFL]

6 hours ago, KateHearts said:

even an expedited passport takes time- it's not ready the same day.

24 hours is very common.  We had to do this for a family member once.. But it can be as long as 2 weeks. When I lost mine in Europe( not the same as a first time passport, I know) I walked in and out with it in an hour. 

10 hours ago, millennium said:

Until I saw your post I didn't realize how ingrained and myopic my American arrogance is.  It never occurred to me that the baby is also a Russian citizen, thereby giving Olga equal or more powerful rights than Steven.   I just assumed American citizenship trumps all and that the baby's fate is in Steven's hands.

THE USA doesnt recognize dual citizenship. They just ignore the second one. So while we dont “allow”it, many people have more than one. Russiawill kind of do the same thing. They will view Richie as a Russian citizen and apply their own rules to him when it comes to leaving Russia.

Edited December 18, 2018 by JennyMominFL