Season 6 Discussion

[magemaud]

8 hours ago, Morgalisa said:

It amuses me that they always think that people are staring at them for _________ (fill in blank) reason, when most people are probably staring at them because they have a film crew following them around. 

and in reality, many people are paying absolutely no attention to them at all

[lucy711]

4 hours ago, JennyMominFL said:

Absolutely. And I cant ever presume to understand what that is like for you. What I can do is believe you and support you when you say you are experiencing racism. What I will not do is lecture you about how it cant really be racism. 

I agree with you for the most part, but it can be possible for someone to call something racism even if it is not, no?  Let me give you an example dealing with sexism.  When I was in college, I considered going for a PhD in my subject and becoming a professor.  I went to a professor for advice, and he advised me not to because it was a long and difficult process, that it would be hard for met to get jobs, and I would have to travel often and be away from my family.  I thought this was sexism and he was assuming that as a woman I wanted to have a family and couldn't handle a tough job.  I actually referred to him as "sexist" when talking about the experience, and then I spoke to two other men who had a similar conversation with him, and he told them the same thing, almost word for word.  I was wrong in my assumption.  So *sometimes* feelings aren't enough.  Again, this is NOT to question the reality of sexism or racism, but as a society we are sometimes so primed to look out for these things that it can be mistaken.  Calling someone a racist or sexist is very hurtful in our society today, and I really try to be careful before I apply that label.

[endure]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

I suspect she'll be getting a paycheck from Sharp Entertainment for a few episodes-just like the American half of the other 90 Day couples-and the more drama, the more episodes she's filmed in! 

Maybe she's on mat leave?

Edited November 20, 2018 by endure

[Shieldmaiden]

9 hours ago, Pondlass1 said:

I'm in Canada and we must wear seatbelts across the shoulder not under the armpit like all the drivers here.  Otherwise we'd be fined.

 

I noticed this too, and wondered if they are wearing them under their arms so as not to interfere with their microphones (which are generally positioned around the collarbone area). Just speculation...

[Morgalisa]

Some people just wear their seatbelts incorrectly. They say it's more comfortable that way. Its a dumb thing to do.

[lucy711]

8 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Happened to me last week. I've only ever lived in major urban centers with diverse populations, but cities are segregated too. I had a meeting with someone at her club (her idea, I wouldn't have picked it because I anticipated the reaction I got). I walked in and whoosh! Heads turned and things got quiet. I looked around and thought "Yep, I'm the only one" (and the ratio of men to women was about 70:30 too, so I had a double whammy as a Black woman). The meeting went fine but it was a relief to leave.

It would be naive of Jay not to expect some friction, honestly. If he doesn't get any, great! But as a person of color in a majority white country (a country in which racism is baked into the fabric), you really can't expect to never encounter racism, whether it's micro-aggressions or overt. I liked that Ashley said that in this country, interracial relationships aren't always socially acceptable. It doesn't do anyone, least of all Jay, any good to act like race relations in this country are idyllic. I wonder about Leida and her son too, given what just emerged in a viral story about Eric's hometown.

I am going to need some receipts on Eric being 40, because dude looks at least 55 to me.

I enjoyed reading this post, and I can imagine how uncomfortable you felt when you walked into the meeting and you were the only black person.  I can't tell you what the people in that meeting were thinking, but I can tell you that as a white person, I sometimes lapse into silence when interacting with people of color because I'm a little afraid.  I am a history teacher, so I know a lot about how racism has manifested in the country.  I want to treat everyone fairly and respectfully, but I'm honestly worried that I will say something that will be construed as racist or or insensitive.  I am very aware of microaggressions, and I don't want to say the "wrong thing," even if I don't mean it in a way that is a racial slight.  For instance, if I'm working with a person of color and I say something like "wow!  That's a great idea," would the person think I am complimenting them only because they are black and I'm impressed that they came up with a good idea?  But in reality, I say that type of thing all the time.   I'm a big fan of verbal praise!  Does this make sense?  I just thought I'd post my thoughts and be completely honest because there seems to be a respectful discussion of racial issues in this forum, and I think honesty is often lacking when we discuss racial issues.

[Baltimore Betty]

5 hours ago, JennyMominFL said:

Good people can still get AIDS if they have sex without a condom. Im living proof of that.  I was on Samoan dudes side until he made the slut comment.

I bet you a million dollars AIDS it is not a part of his thought process, he has been so super incular in Shamwow and the fact that he won't wear a condom makes me think his sex ed is limited and that what he does know was taught to him by a guy who did not have the facts straight.  It is a wonder how Asuela has had only one child.

I am sorry that you have been dealing with a horrible disease, I cannot imagine your struggles.

[Lily247]

3 hours ago, eatsleep said:

Ughhhh he is so unappealing. Nothing wrong w/ his looks. I'm talking about the Samoan Forrest Gump act. No way she didn't feel like she was abusing an invalid when she smashed. No way. 

Exactly ! There is some kind of a Forrest Gump thing going on. My mind is telling me that since he apparantly speaks 2 languages, hes gotta be intelligent on some level. But you know what ? I have met people with Downs Syndrome, probably had IQs below 80, who were  compleyely bilingual because they had immigrated to the US at an young age.

(NOTE: I am not comparing anyone to a person with Downs Syndrome or any other types of mental delays. Or implying that anybody is not intelligent. Just noting that it os interesting how the brain works when it comes to languages.)

Edited November 20, 2018 by Lily247

[JennyMominFL]

36 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I bet you a million dollars AIDS it is not a part of his thought process, he has been so super incular in Shamwow and the fact that he won't wear a condom makes me think his sex ed is limited and that what he does know was taught to him by a guy who did not have the facts straight.  It is a wonder how Asuela has had only one child.

I am sorry that you have been dealing with a horrible disease, I cannot imagine your struggles.

Im good though. Its been 28 years and im healthy. I fooled them all. AIDS is not a death sentence at least in western society. AIDS and race intersect a lot and Ive learned  a lot from being in this group. Survivors like me owe a lot to Black women, who were at the forefront of the AIDS movement. Samoa actually has pretty low HIV transmission rates so they are doing something well.  To me Asueala seems a little slow. Maybe just on the lower end of the average IQ scale

Edited November 20, 2018 by JennyMominFL

[iwasish]

37 minutes ago, magemaud said:

and in reality, many people are paying absolutely no attention to them at all

If I go to the park every week and look at the ducks and every one of them is white, and suddenly one week there Is a black duck among them, am I not supposed to notice?  Isn’t it my reaction to this new duck, how I treat it, the important thing ?  

If a white man walked into that barber shop, I would think those men talking to Jay might take a second look also. But again, it’s how they treat him that is important. 

[Baltimore Betty]

5 minutes ago, JennyMominFL said:

Maybe just on the lower end of th average IQ scale

Agree but he can open a coconut faster than anyone!

[Deafening Roar]

I am convinced more now, than ever, that we (the viewers) are all on candid camera

[snarkish]

*wakes up and wipes drool off chin*...Oh, hi folks, is the episode over?

Kalani, you look like the volcano woman in the PIXAR short, "Lava". Stick your Cheeto covered fingers up your arse, yelling at Asuelu about car safety while driving 80 miles per hour and your shoulder belt is either behind your or under your giant tits. 

Eric and Grangela from last season have a lot in common, looking older and more worn with each episode. In this episode, his eyebags have turned brown, and we get a better view of his horrible comb-over. Has Leida ever paid a lick of attention to Alless this season? He's either being held or entertained by Auntie, Grandpa, or anyone else but her. 

Who goes to a used car lot with the only idea about what you intend to buy is a "sexy car"? No price range, style of vehicle, in mind? 9K for a 2017 Kia Soul seems awful cheap. Me thinks they were at the no-credit lot with salvaged title vehicles. 

I'm not writing Steven off just yet. Both he and Olga are overtired and overstressed. And Olga needs to let him learn on his own a bit, like Kalani needs to with Asuelu. As an OCD/control freak Mom myself, I am eating my words, of course. And I guess I was lucky, I had a c-section at age 28 and another at age 39 and far from being a fit person, I was up and about after surgeries quicker than some natural birth Moms, as I was told by nurses. Maybe they don't dole the pain meds out as well in Russia as they do here?

Jay and Grangela need to take note, people are not staring at you because of your color. It's the camera crew following you everywhere. And if you have issues being looked at by people of the color of your supposed love interest, you need to stick to being with people of your own color. JMHO.

[endure]

Anyone seen Ashley's kids?

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, Maximadc said:

Anfisa was 19 too when she arrived to the US

Fernanda explained her hot headed behavior was due to her being a “Latin Woman” so I’m thinking she doesn’t have any intention of changing. 

And for all that the word is thrown around by all these people , do any of them even know what “ disrespect” means.  It seems like any time anyone does something they don’t like or is inconsiderate or thoughtless “ they are being disrespected” and must do battle!!

[Adeejay]

7 hours ago, politichick said:

I don't like Kalani or whatever her name is, but that Asuelo is too childlike for me. Taking the child out of the car seat was not a good idea at all. Saying condoms are for the slut people is stupid. He can't afford to care for the child he has now. Seeing him in the previews putting Oliver on his shoulders was mind-boggling. He's not a little monkey and is just about able to hold up his head. They are absolutely not well paired.

 

 Baby Oliver was in more danger with his mother driving 80 mph and eating Cheetos, than he was when his father took him out of his car seat. 

[iwasish]

2 minutes ago, endure said:

Anyone seen Ashley's kids?

No, nor Larissa’s. I wonder if Ashley has given them a heads up about their new roommate. Has she perhaps been Skyping with the Jay while the kids are there? They have to be older than toddler age.  

[endure]

I wonder if Eric is a gold digger?

[gingerella]

5 hours ago, Granny58 said:

6 hours ago, gingerella said:

I personally don't feel people of one race, religion, etc. feel uncomfortable for no reasons. If I knew for certain that literally nobody in the area where I was walking had negative feelings towards white people, then I would never have felt uncomfortable.

This is exactly what I'm saying.  Sure, there are some POC who don't like white people and I am aware of that.  So I was uncomfortable.  But I have no idea if that was the case or not, so in actuality it was all my feelings and not fact (nobody was doing anything to me).   Maybe we're all saying the same thing.  That there IS racism but not all people are racist.  It's good to be aware of potential problems but don't assume people are racist until something actually indicates it.  The comparison to rape is good.  Like other women, I have to be aware of this possibility and not do things that would make me unsafe.   I am not saying that people are not feeling racism...I'm saying people aren't necessarily thinking racist thoughts.  I may feel I'm in a dangerous situation, but that doesn't mean the men in the vicinity are rapists. 

@Granny58, no, I don't believe we are not saying the same thing (and I'd like to elaborate not to single you out, but simply because what you've said is very common sentiment, and if ever there was an iota of opportunity for us all to actually learn something from The Loser Channel, it is about this topic on this shit show (who'da thunk it, right?!). You said in a previous post that:

Quote

Jay is NOT the only black person in Mechanicsburg and the larger Harrisburg area.  FAR FROM IT.  Nor are they the only interracial couple.  They were being looked at because of the camera crew/person. 

Jay felt everyone was looking at him and it made him uncomfortable. There is no way for any of us here to know whether people were or were not looking at him, but it sure seemed like it to me and when he brought it up to Ashley she looked down and didn't really address it or say 'oh, you're imagining it', and it seems plausible that is because she knew it was happening too. Were they looking at Jay because there was a camera following them, or because it was an interracial couple? I doubt it really matters when you've experienced racism before and/or know that it exists and is possible in any given situation, particularly if you're in a predominately 'white' area. Insisting that he wasn't being gawked at and it was' just people looking because of the crew with them' diminishes and devalues what Jay says he felt. That is what some of us are trying to get at, it doesn't matter whether or not people were looking at the camera crew or 'that black guy with that white girl', the point is he felt very uncomfortable and he has every reason to give the state of racism towards blacks in America right now.

@Granny58, you also said just because he feels that way doesn't make it so.

Quote

Feelings aren't facts.  No doubt being taught to be aware of danger is an EXCELLENT strategy, but couldn't that make it possible to perceive racism where there is none?   There IS racism sometimes, but feeling something was racism is not the same as it being racism. 

What I and many others are saying is that it's not our place to judge someone of another color on whether or not their feelings are valid. If they feel it, it is valid, period. To suggest otherwise negates another person's reality, which is veering close to denying an individual his/her basic human rights, some of which are things like: the right to life and liberty, freedom from slavery and torture, freedom of opinion and expression, the right to work and education, and many more. Everyone is entitled to these rights, without discrimination. If anyone wants to read up on basic human rights you can find some information here: http://www.un.org/en/sections/issues-depth/human-rights/.  At the end of the day, everyone experiences life differently and through slightly different lenses because nobody's reality is exactly alike all the time because we all bring our life experiences into the mix of everything we do, feel, say, etc.  Unfortunately, Ashley doesn't seem to have really prepared him for what it will be like to live in a mostly white community, which is a shit thing to do to a 20 year old who has never left his own country before and whose only knowledge of other cultures comes from tourism and TV.

[Stacee]

18 minutes ago, endure said:

I wonder if Eric is a gold digger?

All he ever mentions is how much money his girlfriend's parents have. 

Whatever his motivation, he's scum in my opinion. He blamed his daughter for the messy apartment and sat there and let Princess Leida bad mouth her. They're not even married and Leida is showing such contempt while he just sits there with his Droopy dog face. And then Leida - who carted her parents to the US to give approval on her boyfriend AND had them come to the apartment in order to show how shitty it is had THE FUCKING NERVE to say Eric's daughter is an adult and can figure it (her living situation) out. Like, really girl? Like YOU did???? I just can't with her.

Re: Jay: i understand the whole camera crew drawing looks and attention but isn't it possible Jay has gone places without cameras there and feels the stares and negative attention? Perhaps that conversation was a culmination of previous experiences. 

Edited November 20, 2018 by Stacee

[Adeejay]

28 minutes ago, endure said:

Anyone seen Ashley's kids?

It appears that Ashley's immediate family, will not be a part of this mess.  Very, very smart people. 

[Drogo]

The "What is racism?" conversation has run its course. 

Discussion not related to the episode should move to the Small Talk thread. 

[Owwwww ma leg]

3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Not to mention that he said he grew up in a household with a lot of yelling so doesn't want Olga to talk to him a certain way, but doesn't get that he's mirroring the behavior he grew up in by the way that HE speaks to HER. You could see the anger simmering just beneath the surface in the talking heads when he was talking about anything he didn't like (Russian hospital rules, Olga not doing what he wanted, etc.).

It also looks like he spends a lot on his car. It looks like a newish SUV. 

His living quarters may have to be small if that's what he can afford, but they don't have to be dirty. There is zero reason for there to be garbage strewn around that place like it was.

Why oh why didn’t eyebags at least do the dishes. Leida didn’t even sleep at the hovel that night yet her perfumes were unpacked. I smell a rat!

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

10 hours ago, magemaud said:

It's a Diamonique-ee

Hahaha is there any chance that is a real diamond ? I don’t think so. 

8 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

 

Right now, Steven has every mommy who had a C-section wanting to kick him in his nut sack. 

💯

[endure]

1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

It appears that Ashley's immediate family, will not be a part of this mess.  Very, very smart people. 

👍🏻

[CSS.MD]

13 hours ago, Drogo said:

You have to be a real dumbass to think pulling onto the shoulder of the I-15 is safer than a) telling Asuelu to put the baby back into the carseat while the car's moving or b) pulling off at the next exit to do it yourself. 

There's a reason why only disabled vehicles park on a freeway shoulder, and why a disabled car's occupants get out and move as far away from it as possible.  If someone hits you doing 80 while you're stopped on the shoulder (seatbelts, carseats or not) you're all dead. 

Asuelu might not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but he was the second smartest person in that car (after Oliver.) 

I had no idea how fast “80” was until I ran it through an mph to kmph converter.

[CSS.MD]

12 hours ago, Pondlass1 said:

I'm in Canada and we must wear seatbelts across the shoulder not under the armpit like all the drivers here.  Otherwise we'd be fined.

Oh, so Ms. Orange Fingers slipped them under her armpit? I wondered where the seatbelt was!

Watching her eyes off the road like that gave me anxiety.

[CSS.MD]

12 hours ago, Drogo said:

Jay also said "Not all white people are the same, some are good and some are bad" and he's in love with Ashley, so it's safe to assume he doesn't believe all white people are racist.  That lunchtime conversation could have been the result of sloppy editing changing the tone of the conversation.

Also, anyone who squees in delight at the sight of pickles can stay in the U.S. as far as I'm concerned. 

Honestly, if someone edited footage of me on “reality” TV talking about such a sensitive issue for “on-screen drama” like race, I’d sue their arse. (That stuff can seriously mess up your future employment opportunities.)

But then again these are foreigners in a foreign land on K-1 visas who probably have no contacts apart from their fiancé(e)s, no lawyer, and no funds to pay a lawyer anyway. Damnit. 🤷🏻‍♀️🕶🥤

Edited November 20, 2018 by CSS.MD

[CSS.MD]

13 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Happened to me last week. I've only ever lived in major urban centers with diverse populations, but cities are segregated too. I had a meeting with someone at her club (her idea, I wouldn't have picked it because I anticipated the reaction I got). I walked in and whoosh! Heads turned and things got quiet. I looked around and thought "Yep, I'm the only one" (and the ratio of men to women was about 70:30 too, so I had a double whammy as a Black woman). The meeting went fine but it was a relief to leave.

It would be naive of Jay not to expect some friction, honestly. If he doesn't get any, great! But as a person of color in a majority white country (a country in which racism is baked into the fabric), you really can't expect to never encounter racism, whether it's micro-aggressions or overt. I liked that Ashley said that in this country, interracial relationships aren't always socially acceptable. It doesn't do anyone, least of all Jay, any good to act like race relations in this country are idyllic. I wonder about Leida and her son too, given what just emerged in a viral story about Eric's hometown.

I am going to need some receipts on Eric being 40, because dude looks at least 55 to me.

 

THIS. ☝🏼 This exact “WHOOSH-HEADS-TURN-AND-SUDDEN-CRICKET-SOUNDS” happened to me once in Idaho! It was the most bizarre thing! 😱

I never really realised that I’d only socialised with the most open-minded kind of westerners my whole life until that happened to me (at least Jay wasn’t as naïve as I was—GOOD FOR HIM).

I think most Indonesians, when we travel to the US (for funsies, not for business) we’ll typically go to places like NY, LA, maybe Florida or Seattle, some Chicago, SF (love the Bay Area).

We don’t typically go to the Midwest (unless for university) or the South or Idaho.

So when I went to Idaho (to attend a friend’s wedding at a rustic ski resort there—because skiing was the happy couple’s thing), it was a completely “different kind of America” for me!

IIRC, I think I only saw 2 other Asians in the entire state while I was there. One at the airport (probably for a layover, the other was a baby in a pram with white parents—perhaps adopted? IDK). But none of that bothered me, until...

We were at a burger joint in Boise/McCall for dinner and I walked in (with my friends—but I was the only obvious PoC there) and ALL HEADS TURNED AND SUDDENLY EVERYBODY WAS SILENT.

Although to be fair, maybe what I was wearing (my outfit) contributed the the stares/sudden silence.

Full disclosure about my look that evening: While I’m a rather unthreatening 5’0” (1.5 metre)-tall woman and the most “criminal” thing I’ve ever done on American soil was getting carded at the age of 25 while picking up my bottle of Baileys at the local liquor store, I was wearing a tight black shirt with a picture of a geisha/maiko printed on it (and I know geishas are a gravely misunderstood group of people) and I had a pink keffiyeh worn as a neck-scarf (but then this was around the time everyone was wearing a keffiyeh around their necks—even Daniel Day-Lewis wore one on the cover of TIME magazine). 🤷🏻‍♀️🕶🥤

To this day I still don’t know if I’m just being a snowflake about it...

All I know for sure is it was uncomfortable AF.

Edited November 20, 2018 by CSS.MD

[CSS.MD]

17 hours ago, annewithaneee said:

Eric to me looks like someone is profoundly, deeply, several years in but still in denial about it, depressed. Both he and his living environment are in shambles, and that "hello darkness my old friend" ten thousand yard stare....yikes. I hope his daughter doesn't catch a bunch of shit from all the under-the-bus-throwing her own dad did to her, and also separates herself from him. He's got a lot of shit to work out.

Having been depressed myself, I can see it too. I’d work and do my job on autopilot, neglect things like my evening skincare routine, after moving it took months before I had the energy to unpack my belongings. You just don’t have any flying f*cks to give.

What saved me was being given pets to look after (basically animals that I knew loved me unconditionally and relied on me to take care of them) was what got me out of the self-pity and back onto a life of living like a responsible adult.

Getting engaged to a verbally-abusive woman who thinks it’s cute/badass to call him a “fat ass” is not going to help. In fact it might just exacerbate whatever issues he’s already struggling with.

If it turns out he is depressed, that might answer you guys’ question: “What does he see in her?” (What she sees in him is a green card, duh.)

He’s probably not seeing clearly, “functioning” on autopilot doing what he thinks normal people do (go on a dating app, eat, drink, maybe shower, sleep, repeat). He perhaps thinks getting a mail-order bride is a form of escapism like the booze. Dude, it’s not.

Eesh. I can’t believe I just showed compassion toward that jingoistic jerk.

Edited November 20, 2018 by CSS.MD
Maybe I’m just projecting because I’d been taken advantage of in an vulnerable depressed state, IDK.

[CSS.MD]

5 hours ago, endure said:

I wonder if Eric is a gold digger?

I don’t think so?

In fact I suspect Leida’s the gold-digger in this case but she’s just playing coy.

Figured this out (in an earlier episode) when Eric met up with his ex and told her that Leida claims she doesn’t know what “child support” is, and implied that there’s no such thing in Indonesia.

There is: http://www.expat.or.id/info/childcustodyinindonesia.html 🤷🏻‍♀️🕶🥤

In that link, it says, “The [Indonesian] 1974 Marriage Law stipulates that in case of divorce, both parents are still obliged to maintain and educate their children until they marry or are able to support themselves.”

Which implies that it goes BEYOND 18 years in Indonesia (which also means that Leida should know better to leave Eric’s 19-year-old daughter alone).

I majorly side-eye Leida. BIG TIME. 😒

And so should Eric.

4 hours ago, Stacee said:

All he ever mentions is how much money his girlfriend's parents have.

I don’t think he’d be that way if his girlfriend didn’t keep the conversation on the topic of money in the first place. I have a feeling all she talks about is her “living in the lap of luxury” to him, and now he’s worried he can’t keep up.

Also, my other theory is that he’s probably heard all these horror stories about how Southeast Asian women are only after western men to have a better life overseas. So perhaps he thinks this woman (who he’s told is wealthy) is his best bet, better than an upfront gold-digger who’s honest about gold-digging.

BUT HERE’S THE TV GOLD PART: I think Eric did catfish her about his finances, which is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣💛💛🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 It’s liek the ULTIMATE gold-digger prank, you guys! And it’s WONDERFUL.

I think (?) we’re watching two con-artists attempting to con each other, but also together conning TLC for fame at the same time. 🍿

Edited November 20, 2018 by CSS.MD
Autocorrect hates me.

[liammaam]

It is a truth universally known that if I actually LIKE someone in episode 1, I will absolutely hate them by episode 3.  Kalani and Steven, you're out of my good thoughts!

Kalani has been watching too many Kardashian episodes.  She even does that annoying coquettish shoulder wag in her talking heads.  I also found her behavior just as scary as his in the car- barely steering with cheeto fingers and watching the back more than the road and then snatching the baby while in "blackout rage mode."  Her sister is kinda crazy possessive, and in general, her family is waaaaay too close (I sense a theme here...) and downright mean to Asuelo.  Sweet Summer Somwah Child, go back home.  They are going to break him by the end of all this... but also, when he stuck his fingers in his ear, and STILL didn't put his seatbelt on, well... he's also kind of stupid in a Phoebe Buffay way.

Speaking of seatbelts:  WHY DO LARISSA AND COLTEE WEAR THEIR SEATBELTS LIKE IDIOTS?!?  Also, the car windows are clearly rolled up, so bullshit on the AC "storyline."

I liked Steven his first episode... but then we wouldn't keep his fucking hands off his obviously annoyed and suffering baby mama!  During her c-section when he was rubbing her cheeks while murmuring that he was feeling her shaking and that he couldn't believe HE was going to be a father in the c-section I wanted to punch him for her!  And then, bossing her around right after her guts were literally moved out of her in order to pull a HUMAN from her womb... selfish jackass.  Olga can do better.  I want to see her and Richie stay in Russia- she may be more poor there, but she will be happier, and that's worth way more than money.  ETA:  He is terrifying- I felt like I was watching an ID show reenactment but that was totally real.  Olga, cut ties.  Please!

Reina's RBF is fab, but there's just something really wrong with the Leida/Eric Poor storyline- it just makes no sense, even for this show.  It's not proper!

Colt, Larrissa and Debbie are bonkers, all of them. Actually, I think Colt is the worst- I am pretty sure he's straight up abusive in the way he gaslights Larissa.

And of course, the serial killer way that he drawls out, "darlin'."  Coltee Bates.

Edited November 20, 2018 by liammaam
Steven is not just a jackass, he's an abusive asshole

[queenjen]

23 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

Omg! Coltee  put a Diamonique on it! 

 

Did he really? It looked a lot like this ring and i'd absolutely believe it. After they barged into Deb's bedroom (along with a camera crew), she said that she was happy etc, but that Colt had 'spent a lot of money' not 'on it' but 'on Larissa'. it was meant to sound like he had spent a lot of money on the RING, but that's not what she really said. So, I'd definitely believe this is a several payments fakeass bit of glass. Maybe Larissa took it to a hock shop and this sparked one of the arrests when they laughed her out of the premises.

[queenjen]

17 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

She treats Asuelu like a child. (Of course plugging his ears didn't do much to combat that image!)

 

What I got out of this exchange was Asuelu refusing to engage with her unless she spoke to him politely. I noticed he refused to speak to the angry sack of hair, or acknowledge her UNLESS she said 'please'. She fussed at him for not wearing a seatbelt, and he ignored her until she added 'please'. Same with arriving at the Utah house. He retrieved the luggage after she said 'please'. Meanwhile, Kalani is telling us how much Asuelu has to learn about 'having a kid' in America. Formula, diapers and school cost money, you can't just run out the back and get him a piece of pineapple, she said. What she isn't telling us, or what the dimbulb has missed completely, is that in Samoa, there'd be extended family loving on that little man and teaching him and looking out for him. Asuelu plugging his ears made him look childish to us, but he was really just telling her 'I'm not engaging with you until you speak to me respectfully'. It's Kalani that needs to do some learning here. Asuelu is at least proving willing and loving and commited. 

[queenjen]

16 hours ago, magemaud said:

Also curious, did anyone think that it looked like they went into Debbie's room through a closet? 

YEs! Or it was just a hallway full o' shit. I can't make sense of the layout against Coltee's home tour when Larissa first arrived. It went upstairs, hallway, then Deb's bedroom and ensuite, Coltee's room and I'm still not sure if there is a main bathroom and another room that Coltee uses for his 'projects'. Maybe this is attached to Deb's room? Ick. It's all just wrong.

[LennieBriscoe]

Just a couple things... 

One can walk around NYC quite happily with a fear of heights,  as one can do in Las Vegas,  if there is no dumbass insisting one must experience the view from a building's 108th floor, say. 

Fernanda is not responsible for the care of her younger siblings. They are not her children. 

There is no "there" there,  with Old Man Eric. No wit on his tongue,  no spark in his eye; just unkempt emptiness of soul. 

Big Daddy Steven is and always was strictly about "my son." Railing about hospital rules, having less than zero grasp of or care about Olga's surgery,  generally demanding others do his bidding. Not Mr. Nice Guy. 

I don't get most of these people. Jon likes the club scene,  but also wants to get married? Kalani acts exasperated with Asuelu, but also wants to get married?

Eric has no money, but also wants to get married?

Coltee is a cheap bastard who lives with his mother and three cats, drives a car with no A/C, and speaks in the calm manner of a sociopath.

[Raja]

15 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

They came to  vet Eric and he passed their son-in-law test!  WTF? 

 

Also, was there a Brother Leida???  All of the sudden I saw this big kid.  (I think it was the scene when they were snooping in Tasha’s room).

 

or, was that TLC camera crew?  

 

Also, does the mom speak?  Lots of questions! 

I think daddy and auntie/sister  are supporting their little girl's reality stardom dreams to some extent.  Mommy and baby brother are along for the ride, and the American vacation when they ditch the TLC camera and it stays with Leida.

[Spike]

9 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

Honestly, if someone edited footage of me on “reality” TV talking about such a sensitive issue for “on-screen drama” like race, I’d sue their arse. (That stuff can seriously mess up your future employment opportunities.)

But then again these are foreigners in a foreign land on K-1 visas who probably have no contacts apart from their fiancé(e)s, no lawyer, and no funds to pay a lawyer anyway. Damnit. 🤷🏻‍♀️🕶🥤

I don’t know about the contracts on 90 DF, but other reality shows have contracts that specifically allow contestants to be shown in a false light.

[Drogo]

9 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

21 hours ago, Drogo said:

Jay also said "Not all white people are the same, some are good and some are bad" and he's in love with Ashley, so it's safe to assume he doesn't believe all white people are racist.  That lunchtime conversation could have been the result of sloppy editing changing the tone of the conversation.

Also, anyone who squees in delight at the sight of pickles can stay in the U.S. as far as I'm concerned. 

Honestly, if someone edited footage of me on “reality” TV talking about such a sensitive issue for “on-screen drama” like race, I’d sue their arse. (That stuff can seriously mess up your future employment opportunities.)

 

8 minutes ago, Spike said:

I don’t know about the contracts on 90 DF, but other reality shows have contracts that specifically allow contestants to be shown in a false light.

Also- Jay did say what he said.  They didn't put words in his mouth, but they may have edited out a prefacing remark that would've made the accusation seem a little less "Why do [all] white people hate [all] black people?" which is probably not what he meant anyway.  (He obviously knows all white people don't hate all black people.) 

The dudes at the barbershop, though... 

One had a lot of opinions and no eyebrows, and the other had a wife who was torturing him with... "I love you" text messages?  

"Don't get married, bro, someone might tell you they love you a lot!  It's a fucking nightmare." 

Jay... go to Supercuts, cuz.  Better life advice there.

[Granny58]

11 hours ago, gingerella said:

@Granny58, no, I don't believe we are not saying the same thing (and I'd like to elaborate not to single you out, but simply because what you've said is very common sentiment, and if ever there was an iota of opportunity for us all to actually learn something from The Loser Channel, it is about this topic on this shit show (who'da thunk it, right?!). You said in a previous post that:

Jay felt everyone was looking at him and it made him uncomfortable. There is no way for any of us here to know whether people were or were not looking at him, but it sure seemed like it to me and when he brought it up to Ashley she looked down and didn't really address it or say 'oh, you're imagining it', and it seems plausible that is because she knew it was happening too. Were they looking at Jay because there was a camera following them, or because it was an interracial couple? I doubt it really matters when you've experienced racism before and/or know that it exists and is possible in any given situation, particularly if you're in a predominately 'white' area. Insisting that he wasn't being gawked at and it was' just people looking because of the crew with them' diminishes and devalues what Jay says he felt. That is what some of us are trying to get at, it doesn't matter whether or not people were looking at the camera crew or 'that black guy with that white girl', the point is he felt very uncomfortable and he has every reason to give the state of racism towards blacks in America right now.

@Granny58, you also said just because he feels that way doesn't make it so.

What I and many others are saying is that it's not our place to judge someone of another color on whether or not their feelings are valid. If they feel it, it is valid, period. To suggest otherwise negates another person's reality, which is veering close to denying an individual his/her basic human rights, some of which are things like: the right to life and liberty, freedom from slavery and torture, freedom of opinion and expression, the right to work and education, and many more. Everyone is entitled to these rights, without discrimination. If anyone wants to read up on basic human rights you can find some information here: http://www.un.org/en/sections/issues-depth/human-rights/.  At the end of the day, everyone experiences life differently and through slightly different lenses because nobody's reality is exactly alike all the time because we all bring our life experiences into the mix of everything we do, feel, say, etc.  Unfortunately, Ashley doesn't seem to have really prepared him for what it will be like to live in a mostly white community, which is a shit thing to do to a 20 year old who has never left his own country before and whose only knowledge of other cultures comes from tourism and TV.

You're right.  We aren't saying the same thing, though I thought we were.  I am not diminishing Jay's feelings.  I'm saying his feelings may not be based on fact.  For example, I sometimes get pissed at my husband for something he did which I assumed was intentional.  However, he's blissfully going about his business thinking nothing of the sort.   After I find out what is actually going on I realize my feelings were based on an error.  But not always.  Sometimes he did something stupid....just as there is sometimes racism/sexism/...ism.  Those people in the market were just looking...just like the people in the black neighborhood looked at me dropping of the little boy.  We're the black people racist toward me?  I don't know...I don't think so, just curious.  

[annewithaneee]

7 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

Eesh. I can’t believe I just showed compassion toward that jingoistic jerk.

Lol I felt the same way after this week's episode. He's awful, but I also see him. Hopefully watching himself on camera will help - as much as it can help any TLC reality show participant - and he'll do whatever he needs to do to sort himself out, including treatment if it is a mental health issue.

And for his daughter, I just hope she gets some room from him. Not necessarily cut contact or anything, but he made an already problematic situation worse by blaming her entirely for their shared living situation. That was nasty of him, but that aside I think she'd fare better with a decent amount of distance from that profoundly negative/depressed energy of his. 

[millennium]

12 hours ago, snarkish said:

 

Jay and Grangela need to take note, people are not staring at you because of your color. It's the camera crew following you everywhere. And if you have issues being looked at by people of the color of your supposed love interest, you need to stick to being with people of your own color. JMHO.

My own feeling is that Jay's an attention whore and wants to believe everyone is staring at him.   From the time he got on the plane he's been talking about how people in Pennsylvania will react to his presence.   Now he's here, and fancies everyone is looking at him.   There's a saying, if your tool in life is a hammer, everywhere you go you're gonna find nails.

Edited November 20, 2018 by millennium

[Stacee]

8 hours ago, CSS.MD said:

I don’t think he’d be that way if his girlfriend didn’t keep the conversation on the topic of money in the first place. I have a feeling all she talks about is her “living in the lap of luxury” to him, and now he’s worried he can’t keep up.

 

I'd agree if it was a once or twice mention but he's brought it up every damn he gets. If she mentions it it certainly doesn't appear to be a turn off. In fact, I think maybe that's what he likes most about her. He probably hit up dad as soon as the camera crew left. 

[CoachWristletJen]

12 hours ago, endure said:

I wonder if Eric is a gold digger?

LOL... good question! I think that Eric is too lethargic to be a gold digger.

Lennie Briscoe hit the nail on the head by stating the following: "There is no "there" there,  with Old Man Eric. No wit on his tongue,  no spark in his eye; just unkempt emptiness of soul."

That being said, I agree with what's been said that he could be playing the long game with Leida's dad. Even the laziest cat might stick its paw out when the mouse sits down right in front of him. What Eric's wet brain doesn't realize is that there is no long game with Leida. She will be long gone in a couple of years. The only slightly long game will be the alimony and child support that he will be paying!

Even if Leida stayed with Eric's rapidly aging ass, whatever will her father would have written up would be iron clad as to deliberately leave Eric out of it. Her parents despise him. They just had the sense not to wear their contempt on their sleeves, unlike Eric. Wow, Eric, you are dumb!

The United States is a great country for many of the other foreign wives we've seen. They can get good paying jobs. If Hazel secures a waitressing gig she'll be miles ahead of her old one room life in the Philippines! And in fairness, Tarik seems to have a good paying job.

Leida seems to be best at ass sitting. While she's probably smarter than Hazel or Karine, she won't work as a Merry Maid, that's for sure! Unless she finds another dupe, her life here may not be so pleasant.

12 minutes ago, Stacee said:

I'd agree if it was a once or twice mention but he's brought it up every damn he gets. If she mentions it it certainly doesn't appear to be a turn off. In fact, I think maybe that's what he likes most about her. He probably hit up dad as soon as the camera crew left. 

I had that thought, too.  Indeed that might be Eric's idea of a 'long game.' 

"Wait! I've had second thoughts. I'll take that money... for Leida of course."

As for her dad, he took one look around Eric's hovel and realized that his future son-in-law was going to be a money pit.

Edited November 20, 2018 by CoachWristletJen

[millennium]

2 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

The only slightly long game will be the alimony and child support that he will be paying!

 

Unless Leida is earning more money than him, in which case the situation might be reversed.

Not that it would cost Leida much every month to maintain Eric in his accustomed lifestyle ... 

[TipseyGirl]

On 11/18/2018 at 11:59 PM, ChiCricket said:

     Looks like Colt really dressed up for the proposal.

 Does he have on a pair of Mother's old jeans?

LOL! Portrait of an asshole.

[Mothra]

18 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Yes, it was a case of it. You'll have to take my word for it. One of the worst things Ashley could do as the partner to a Black man (and possibly the mother to biracial children that the world will perceive as Black, if Jay and Ashley get that far) is dismiss Jay's feelings when something racist happens - and again, anti-Black racism isn't just being called the n-word. It takes millions of forms, including being made to feel like you don't belong because of your race because white people are annoyed that you're in what they perceive as their space. Odds are good that that's what Jay was feeling in the store. Black people go out in the world every day knowing that the world doesn't have our back; the least Ashley can do is have his back at home. It's like sexism (which, yay, I also get to experience!). Sexism isn't limited to "get in the kitchen and cook, woman." There are lots of shades of gray.

Indeed.  I think dismissing black people's experience of racism where the white observer doesn't see it is akin to what every woman experiences when a man tells her she should feel complimented that he told her she had nice big breasts.

18 hours ago, eatsleep said:

I don't think Black Nigerians staring at Angela and White Americans staring at Jay are the same thing at all. Angela was treated great there; there isn't centuries worth of Black oppression of White ppl in Nigeria. Totally different situation.

Furthermore, the white people who were (or were not) staring at Jay were not thinking about how rich he must be, which I am certain was the case with the Nigerians who were (or were not) staring at Angela.

[Mothra]

14 hours ago, Shieldmaiden said:

I noticed this too, and wondered if they are wearing them under their arms so as not to interfere with their microphones (which are generally positioned around the collarbone area). Just speculation...

 

14 hours ago, Morgalisa said:

Some people just wear their seatbelts incorrectly. They say it's more comfortable that way. Its a dumb thing to do.

It's a big tits thing.  If you have large breasts, the seatbelt cuts uncomfortably between your breasts, squishing one painfully to the side.  Coltie knows what he's doing.

[Awfarmington]

17 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

Totally!  I get this.  I even posted that Family Kalani is on stand by with TLC shall things get too boring. 

It does make the show more interesting, indeed.

 

They came to  vet Eric and he passed their son-in-law test!  WTF? 

 

Also, was there a Brother Leida???  All of the sudden I saw this big kid.  (I think it was the scene when they were snooping in Tasha’s room).

 

or, was that TLC camera crew?  

 

Also, does the mom speak?  Lots of questions! 

It was the same vetting process Hazel’s parents used. 

[Drogo]

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