Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[druzy]

Andrew posted this on his Instagram Story.

 

  

He also posted this video

 

Edited April 22, 2018 by druzy

[ghoulina]

On 4/19/2018 at 4:01 PM, mamadrama said:

And a bad boss bitch!

I want to buy Kristina a shirt that says that. It would drive Amber mad. 

[CofCinci]

Why is Andrew posting pics of the guitars that Matt purchased with Amber’s money? I was always surprised that Amber didn’t smash them - but I figure she wanted Matt back (before pregnancy) and used his memorabilia as a ploy to get him to return to Indiana. 

[Calm81]

5 hours ago, druzy said:

Andrew posted this on his Instagram Story.

 

  

He also posted this video

 

These asshats have nothing better to do and they are too busy to put their phone on the charger??!! LOL! Nitpicking at its finest! ?

[SPLAIN]

18 minutes ago, Calm81 said:

These asshats have nothing better to do and they are too busy to put their phone on the charger??!! LOL! Nitpicking at its finest! ?

Their phone is down to 27% because they are on it all day long.

Amber requires a charger that reaches her bed to the outlet.

[athousandclowns]

2 minutes ago, SPLAIN said:

Their phone is down to 27% because they are on it all day long.

Amber requires a charger that reaches her bed to the outlet.

It says 5 am correct?? She's not up at 5 am. 

[Calm81]

46 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

It says 5 am correct?? She's not up at 5 am. 

They haven’t gone to bed, yet! You know his ass isn’t sitting at the breakfast table at 5am with a pot of coffee brewing while skimming Craigslist. They’re settling down to go to bed around that time. What else could he be up that early for? ? 

[druzy]

[Calm81]

Have any of you ever gotten so infatuated with someone (had a crush) and finally start to date this person to the point you’re blinded by their flaws because you’re just happy they liked you? 

Later on, around month 6-9 you start noticing their flaws and realize that you’ve put them on a pedestal due to a bad previous relationship...you notice he/she is annoying as fuck and not the person you wanted and you break up with that person STAT! Wow, I have been in that spot and I still look back on that relationship and think “what the ever loving duck did (thanks Darlene) I ever see in this person????”

I do believe Andrew will be this very person for Amber but she was dumb enough to get KNOCKED UP by him. I mean, how stupid???

I know people get knocked up all of the time from one night stands and never regret it because of the beautiful miracles they acquire from the stupid error of judgment, but she’s attaching this loser to her life entirely!!

That photo above (in the red pants) just gave me the awful hee-bee jee-bees enough to the point of posting this while it’s fresh in my mind taking away 5 minutes of my “hair time” for work. Lol. The colleagues are going to get a messy bun today. ?

Amber, you have fun with that!! You being stuck with that loser for 18 years or more is our justic for you getting lazy money from MTV and for putting your sweaty couch stinkin’ claws on our Gear Bear back in the day while still mouthing him and his bad ass  boss of a wife!

?

[mamadrama]

28 minutes ago, Calm81 said:

Have any of you ever gotten so infatuated with someone (had a crush) and finally start to date this person to the point you’re blinded by their flaws because you’re just happy they liked you? 

Later on, around month 6-9 you start noticing their flaws and realize that you’ve put them on a pedestal due to a bad previous relationship...you notice he/she is annoying as fuck and not the person you wanted and you break up with that person STAT! Wow, I have been in that spot and I still look back on that relationship and think “what the ever loving duck did (thanks Darlene) I ever see in this person????”

I do believe Andrew will be this very person for Amber but she was dumb enough to get KNOCKED UP by him. I mean, how stupid???

I know people get knocked up all of the time from one night stands and never regret it because of the beautiful miracles they acquire from the stupid error of judgment, but she’s attaching this loser to her life entirely!!

That photo above (in the red pants) just gave me the awful hee-bee jee-bees enough to the point of posting this while it’s fresh in my mind taking away 5 minutes of my “hair time” for work. Lol. The colleagues are going to get a messy bun today. ?

Amber, you have fun with that!! You being stuck with that loser for 18 years or more is our justic for you getting lazy money from MTV and for putting your sweaty couch stinkin’ claws on our Gear Bear back in the day while still mouthing him and his bad ass  boss of a wife!

?

Yes! That has totally happened to me. You meet someone and start idealizing them, and then you catch them picking their nose or something weird. Or later, after a few dates, you realize how awful they are. It reminds me of the FRIENDS episode where Phoebe meets the good-looking guy and they go out to dinner, only for her to learn that he writes "erotica for kids" and has a "PHD"-pretty big---

 

Amber probably looked as this man and all SHE saw and heard was: "television producer with an Oscar-nominated father, and a house by the ocean in Malibu." Which, granted, sounds good. Instead she got, well, you know. She got Baby Huey. 

[ginger90]

Each time Amber babbles about Andrew, just substitute Matt for, “This man right here”, and it’s the same bull over and over. He showed up for a few days too.

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Each time Amber babbles about Andrew, just substitute Matt for, “This man right here”, and it’s the same bull over and over. He showed up for a few days too.

I'm beginning to think that she honest-to-God has gotten so lazy that she can't remember people's names. It's always Bew Bew and "this man." Maybe she legitimately doesn't know who these people are!

[lezlers]

On ‎4‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 12:35 PM, Kazu said:

That shit was gross. All that Amber needs is within her reach such as food, drinks, and her phone. She can't even bother to get up to vomit. How fucking lazy!! Does Baby Huey bring her a bedpan, too? Wipe her ass? ?

I can't wait to see how she deals with having a newborn.  The lack of sleep alone will drive her more insane than she already is.  I think we need to start a pool about how long before BH takes James and gets the fuck out of dodge.

[SPLAIN]

17 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

It says 5 am correct?? She's not up at 5 am. 

That's the hour she goes to bed.

16 hours ago, Calm81 said:

They haven’t gone to bed, yet! You know his ass isn’t sitting at the breakfast table at 5am with a pot of coffee brewing while skimming Craigslist. They’re settling down to go to bed around that time. What else could he be up that early for? ? 

Well said.

I do know what you mean about having a crush on some person only to later see them all in their fucked up glory. Love is definitely blind. Ohhhh I think back to some guys I dated. I thank the gods I got rid of them when I did.

In Amber's world, she needs someone to wait on her hand and foot, and tend to her vomiting. If they get on her nerves and she sees all their flaws, she will punch them.

That photo of Andrew. I look at it and I see him in those big ass shoes and red sweat pants and all that comes to mind is he is a huge clown.

 

[guilfoyleatpp]

Not to mention that anyone in their RIGHT mind (and double with the relationship history that Amber has) would be terrified by a person who "comes to visit" and then "moves in."

[TexasGal]

3 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

Not to mention that anyone in their RIGHT mind (and double with the relationship history that Amber has) would be terrified by a person who "comes to visit" and then "moves in."

Since my divorce, I have joked with friends that I am waiting for the perfect guy to just show up at my front door.  I think I need to reconsider that, even as a joke, if Amber is any indication of what may show up.

[ginger90]

From Amber’s shower:

 

[FairyDusted]

Weird. She is due next month no?

[ginger90]

29 minutes ago, FairyDusted said:

Weird. She is due next month no?

Her due date is May 13th, which is Mother’s Day this year.

[Kalamityjayne]

1 hour ago, FairyDusted said:

Weird. She is due next month no?

Is she just bigger all over so much so that there’s no “pop” of a belly?

[ginger90]

Flashback...........

[FairyDusted]

Maybe we just saw her in an upright position then? Nawwww

[mamadrama]

12 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

Not to mention that anyone in their RIGHT mind (and double with the relationship history that Amber has) would be terrified by a person who "comes to visit" and then "moves in."

Twice that has happened to her, TWICE. Fool me once...

[Kazu]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Twice that has happened to her, TWICE. Fool me once...

And to think, she made a great choice the FIRST time with Gary. He had some growing to do, but he was a diamond in the rough. Now, he is Kristina's man and a wonderful parent.

That watermelon carriage baby is missing something. I fixed it. 

 

[druzy]

[leighroda]

This story isn’t exactly related to Amber, but it makes me absolutely sick that it happened and it’s near where she lives and just reminds me of how she thought it was ok to have 97 dogs because she was rescuing them, but keeping them in deplorable conditions. 

https://www.click2houston.com/lifestyle/18-dogs-rescued-from-hoarders-house

[CofCinci]

47 minutes ago, druzy said:

Who is Bubby talking about here? Gary?

[druzy]

6 minutes ago, CofCinci said:

Who is Bubby talking about here? Gary?

One of the doctors from the other show we can't mention here.

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, druzy said:

Followed by:

[druzy]

 

Quote

Amber Portwood’s new beau Andrew Glennon has earned the “Bubby Seal of Approval!”

In an exclusive interview with The Ashley, Amber’s brother Shawn Portwood came to the defense of his sister’s relationship, after the Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars docs called Amber and Andrew’s situation “a mess.”

While Shawn admitted that Amber and Andrew fast-tracked their relationship (with Amber getting pregnant less than a month in), he had to admit that he’s seen a lot of positive changes in his sister since she started dating Andrew.

“When I said that Andrew ‘contains her’ in a sense, I mean it,” Shawn told The Ashley. “Her mood and her behavior has chilled out a lot since they’ve been together. I have never shied away from the fact that I believe she moves really quickly, but I think this is one move that she made that has benefited her health and her family situation.”

Amber’s brother has always served as voice of reason for the Teen Mom OG star. (He’s appeared sporadically on the show since Season 1.) After reading what ‘Marriage Boot Camp’ star Dr. Ish Major said about his sister, Shawn stated that, while he respects the doctor’s opinion, he feels that Amber’s changed a lot since filming ‘Boot Camp’ last summer.

“I am sure from a medical standpoint he probably has some reason to believe what he said but I do not think that it was correct for him to say that,” Shawn told The Ashley. “He only got 10 days to know my sister. I have known her for 27 years.

“I have seen her ups and her downs and I have seen her at her worst,” he added. “Because of that I can honestly say, without a doubt, that she is doing better now than she has in 15 years.”

On Monday, Shawn tweeted that Dr. Major, “doesn’t know crap about how she is now. I know my sister and I can say with certainty that Andrew has helped turn her attitude around. She is a much more pleasant person to be around now.”

Over the years, Shawn made it known that he was not fond of Amber’s ex-fiance, Matt Baier. After spending some time with Andrew, Shawn assures ‘Teen Mom OG’ fans that “he is tenfold better than the last person she was with [Matt].”

“I do not know what their future holds but I do know that since being with Andrew, Amber has been able to get off a lot of the medications that she was on while with Matt,” Shawn added.

Amber is due to give birth to her second child, a boy that she and Andrew plan to name James, next month.

 

 

Edited April 24, 2018 by druzy

[Rebecca]

On 4/23/2018 at 3:36 AM, Calm81 said:

Have any of you ever gotten so infatuated with someone (had a crush) and finally start to date this person to the point you’re blinded by their flaws because you’re just happy they liked you? 

Later on, around month 6-9 you start noticing their flaws and realize that you’ve put them on a pedestal due to a bad previous relationship...you notice he/she is annoying as fuck and not the person you wanted and you break up with that person STAT! Wow, I have been in that spot and I still look back on that relationship and think “what the ever loving duck did (thanks Darlene) I ever see in this person????”

I do believe Andrew will be this very person for Amber but she was dumb enough to get KNOCKED UP by him. I mean, how stupid???

I know people get knocked up all of the time from one night stands and never regret it because of the beautiful miracles they acquire from the stupid error of judgment, but she’s attaching this loser to her life entirely!!

That photo above (in the red pants) just gave me the awful hee-bee jee-bees enough to the point of posting this while it’s fresh in my mind taking away 5 minutes of my “hair time” for work. Lol. The colleagues are going to get a messy bun today. ?

Amber, you have fun with that!! You being stuck with that loser for 18 years or more is our justic for you getting lazy money from MTV and for putting your sweaty couch stinkin’ claws on our Gear Bear back in the day while still mouthing him and his bad ass  boss of a wife!

?

I definitely agree with everything you’ve said about Andrew BUT isn’t it just as likely that Amber is this person for Andrew? I mean, what the fuck does she have to offer other than $? They’re both giant, lazy losers, he’s just an actual giant and she’s just an actual sloth. (Sorry to offend the sloth lovers, but that giant stuffed one in her bed with her speaks for itself, haha.) 

5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Followed by:

Douche.

Edited April 24, 2018 by Rebecca

[TresGatos]

Quote

On Monday, Shawn tweeted that Dr. Major, “doesn’t know crap about how she is now. I know my sister and I can say with certainty that Andrew has helped turn her attitude around.

Andrew and his amazing curative penis.

[guilfoyleatpp]

4 hours ago, druzy said:

 

 

In this picture Amber's smile reminds me so much of the Gypsy Rose Blanchard girl who had her boyfriend kill her mother (long story, the murder was understandable, mother was terrible abuser, Munchhausen by proxy, just noting the similarity).

[CofCinci]

15 minutes ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

In this picture Amber's smile reminds me so much of the Gypsy Rose Blanchard girl who had her boyfriend kill her mother (long story, the murder was understandable, mother was terrible abuser, Munchhausen by proxy, just noting the similarity).

Oh my fucking gawd I just nearly pissed myself. Spot on!!!

if you haven’t seen this documentary — watch it!!!

Edited April 24, 2018 by CofCinci

[druzy]

[ginger90]

1 minute ago, druzy said:

I thought Porkwood went poof! 

Edited April 24, 2018 by ginger90

[druzy]

Just now, ginger90 said:

I thought Portwood went poof! 

I think she took a break but she's back.

[BucFan]

Remember when Amber used to have the spider leg fake eyelashes? Oh, the good old days ?

[Kazu]

2 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

In this picture Amber's smile reminds me so much of the Gypsy Rose Blanchard girl who had her boyfriend kill her mother (long story, the murder was understandable, mother was terrible abuser, Munchhausen by proxy, just noting the similarity).

Thank goodness you posted this because I was racking my brain trying to figure out who Slug Amber reminded me of.  I even told my husband to help me with trying to figure out what girl Amber resembled, but he was of no use.

Yes, the similarities are frightening and yet, spot on.

I watched that 20/20 segment when it aired. Amber will have one in the future.

Edited April 24, 2018 by Kazu

[Kazu]

47 minutes ago, BucFan said:

Remember when Amber used to have the spider leg fake eyelashes? Oh, the good old days ?

Now she gets extensions. Don't they cost around $100 to get?

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, BucFan said:

Remember when Amber used to have the spider leg fake eyelashes? Oh, the good old days ?

Was that when Gary had her in his cell as,  “6 Inch Eyelash Portwood” ?

[druzy]

1 minute ago, ginger90 said:

Was that when Gary had her in his cell as,  “6 Inch Eyelash Portwood” ?

When I read your post I pictured Gary in jail with a picture of Amber on his jail cell wall. Then I was trying to remember when Gary went to jail. I read your post a few times and finally realized that I'm old.

[Kazu]

7 minutes ago, druzy said:

When I read your post I pictured Gary in jail with a picture of Amber on his jail cell wall. Then I was trying to remember when Gary went to jail. I read your post a few times and finally realized that I'm old.

lol

Remember when his name on her phone contacts was listed as Gary the Hairy Fairy: http://www.wetpaint.com/amber-portwood-nickname-gary-shirley-phone-1399712/

[druzy]

3 minutes ago, Kazu said:

lol

Remember when his name on her phone contacts was listed as Gary the Hairy Fairy: http://www.wetpaint.com/amber-portwood-nickname-gary-shirley-phone-1399712/

That's hilarious! Oh- the good old days. 

[TheRealT]

On 4/23/2018 at 4:36 AM, Calm81 said:

Have any of you ever gotten so infatuated with someone (had a crush) and finally start to date this person to the point you’re blinded by their flaws because you’re just happy they liked you? 

Later on, around month 6-9 you start noticing their flaws and realize that you’ve put them on a pedestal due to a bad previous relationship...you notice he/she is annoying as fuck and not the person you wanted and you break up with that person STAT! Wow, I have been in that spot and I still look back on that relationship and think “what the ever loving duck did (thanks Darlene) I ever see in this person????”

I do believe Andrew will be this very person for Amber but she was dumb enough to get KNOCKED UP by him. I mean, how stupid???

I know people get knocked up all of the time from one night stands and never regret it because of the beautiful miracles they acquire from the stupid error of judgment, but she’s attaching this loser to her life entirely!!

That photo above (in the red pants) just gave me the awful hee-bee jee-bees enough to the point of posting this while it’s fresh in my mind taking away 5 minutes of my “hair time” for work. Lol. The colleagues are going to get a messy bun today. ?

Amber, you have fun with that!! You being stuck with that loser for 18 years or more is our justic for you getting lazy money from MTV and for putting your sweaty couch stinkin’ claws on our Gear Bear back in the day while still mouthing him and his bad ass  boss of a wife!

?

I feel like Amber is "that person" for nuMatt far more than vice versa. NuMatt definitely seems fucked up, but he's had a somewhat functional adulthood with completing college, being employed (at least intermittently), never going to prison, and being able to stay upright long enough to cook a meal or drive to a location 15 minutes away. Amber hasn't even come close to accomplishing any of that.

[Rebecca]

I’m so sick of hearing her say, in various places, that she “sent herself to prison” as if it’s some accomplishment or thing to be proud of. I get that she picked it over rehab and she somehow thinks that makes her awesome and sacrificing but it’s because she knew she couldn’t stick to the rehab terms and would end up in “gel” anyway. I just want to yell tonher face that ALL people who commit criminal acts “send themselves to prison” with those actions. It’s not a good thing?! She just always sounds so self-satisfied when she says it, as if it somehow makes her a shining example, especially of a mother. The way her mind works (or doesn’t work) is frightening to me.

I hate Drew justifying her avoidance of Leah as a good thing. SHE WASTED ZERO TIME GETTING IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP! I won’t preach to the choir but damn. The narrative she paints doesn’t fit and it’s frustrating to never see her called out like she should be.

Edited April 25, 2018 by Rebecca

[Calm81]

Ambers new look is weird. Her glassses are weird. Her clothing is weird. Those stupid wraps on her head to hide her roots is annoying - looks good on others. She just looks a lot different lately and I can’t really explain it but it’s weird looking. Like, her new look is “old lady gangsta” - gosh, I can’t explain it. It’s gotta be her new glasses. Yeah, the cat eye glasses is what it is, I think.  ? 

[FairyDusted]

I've noticed 2 new pair of glasses this season. I can't really hate on that in general. I'm dependent on mine and have several pairs to choose from. Ambers are ugly though. Not to mention the apparel of a Mrs. Roper.

[mamadrama]

4 hours ago, Calm81 said:

Ambers new look is weird. Her glassses are weird. Her clothing is weird. Those stupid wraps on her head to hide her roots is annoying - looks good on others. She just looks a lot different lately and I can’t really explain it but it’s weird looking. Like, her new look is “old lady gangsta” - gosh, I can’t explain it. It’s gotta be her new glasses. Yeah, the cat eye glasses is what it is, I think.  ? 

Amber's "style" has been bizarre over the past two years. From her Drag Queen Marilyn look to her current White Trash Fortune Teller, it's like she no longer remembers how to dress normally (or even well for her body). Considering how she's a bad boss bitch with a fashion empire, you'd think that she'd be able to get a decent wardrobe. 

[CofCinci]

Mrs. Roeper is her style icon.