Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[Jennifersdc]

This shit is fabulous! What have I been missing! Couldn’t watch last night - Mr. DC flat out refused.

I know Brandi and Amber - no clue about the others. I assume the Gravano’s were sired by that scion of humanity Sammy. Black couple from one of the Love and Hip Hop shows? Is his name really Jim Jones?

Jim is my favorite so far. Not really hiding he’s there for the paycheck. I may need to replay him saying reality TV is exploitative BS (he still cashed those checks) and Amber losing her shit about how “relevant” she is.

Amber - you’re such a blathering, foaming at the mouth idiot. Don’t you admit you were high AF for all of Teen Mom before OG? You tried to hide it the entire time - so how’s that “keeping it real”. Keeping it real stupid.

At last she’s out of the onesie and off the couch I guess..

Has Farrah done this yet or has she already exhausted this source of revenue? I’m betting they wouldn’t take Jenelle and UBT.

Edited March 10, 2018 by Jennifersdc

[radishcake]

Hi all, this the Amber Teen Mom thread. You need to take ALLL this MBC talk over to the MBC boards. I’ll be hiding and then moving your talk about that show over to that board. http://forums.previously.tv/forum/888-marriage-boot-camp/

Thanks!

[Jennifersdc]

Sorry - that’s where I thought I put it. Thanks for moving!

[druzy]

24 minutes ago, radishcake said:

Hi all, this the Amber Teen Mom thread. You need to take ALLL this MBC talk over to the MBC boards. I’ll be hiding and then moving your talk about that show over to that board. http://forums.previously.tv/forum/888-marriage-boot-camp/

Thanks!

Thanks for moving the posts for us!

[guilfoyleatpp]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

What are the chances of a healthy baby?

Fetus (fetusi? fetui?) can be surprisingly resilient. I'm hoping she carries a healthy baby to term and then Andrew snatches it and does a runner. 

[ginger90]

I hope she has a healthy baby too, but meds and alcohol? Ugh.

[Jennifersdc]

1 hour ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

Fetus (fetusi? fetui?) can be surprisingly resilient. I'm hoping she carries a healthy baby to term and then Andrew snatches it and does a runner. 

Hysterical - so wrong, but so right. 

Can I invite you over for dinner?

[Snarky McSnarky]

3 hours ago, Jennifersdc said:

Has Farrah done this yet or has she already exhausted this source of revenue? I’m betting they wouldn’t take Jenelle and UBT.

Farrah did it with her parents.

http://www.wetv.com/shows/marriage-boot-camp-reality-stars-family-edition/videos/season-08/meet-farrah-and-her-parents

[eskimo]

What the hell is up with Amber tweeting all of these fake TM click bait stories?  Is she prone to this kind of crap?

[CaliforniaLove]

3 hours ago, eskimo said:

What the hell is up with Amber tweeting all of these fake TM click bait stories?  Is she prone to this kind of crap?

Baby Huey needs a new lens.

[eskimo]

I'm also curious about what Maci and Cate are truly thinking about crazy Amber now, that is if they're paying attention to MBC and Twitter.  I know they consider each other friends, but their interactions are very limited and likely don't involve situations where Amber looses her mind on someone outside the TM world, that they don't agree deserves it.  I bet they're scared as hell of her and probably give her verbal blow-jobs every time they speak. 

Side note: Maybe that's why they went to PR together, so the weather wouldn't piss Amber off. ;)

[druzy]

[CofCinci]

10 hours ago, eskimo said:

I'm also curious about what Maci and Cate are truly thinking about crazy Amber now, that is if they're paying attention to MBC and Twitter.  I know they consider each other friends, but their interactions are very limited and likely don't involve situations where Amber looses her mind on someone outside the TM world, that they don't agree deserves it.  I bet they're scared as hell of her and probably give her verbal blow-jobs every time they speak. 

Side note: Maybe that's why they went to PR together, so the weather wouldn't piss Amber off. ;)

I never thought they were *real* friends. They became friendly while figuring out how to get MTV to fund their vacation in PR (much like how Kail and Leah are on vacation together). 

[CaliforniaLove]

2 hours ago, druzy said:

*DEAD*

[GreatKazu]

4 hours ago, druzy said:

My husband has a classic car and is in a club with some other lowriders. He nearly choked on his coffee when I showed him this photo. He said, "That POS ruins a good car." 

[lilmarysunshine]

My 13 year old son just walked through the room and saw Amber on and said “Is that the creepy old guy?” thinking Andrew was Matt. lol. 

I told him when he is older he will wait until he is married for sex, right? ;-). But if he doesn’t, if he does not use birth control, he can be stuck with some loser like Amber for the rest of his life!  He said “Gee, I know, Mom.” 

[GreatKazu]

13 minutes ago, lilmarysunshine said:

My 13 year old son just walked through the room and saw Amber on and said “Is that the creepy old guy?” thinking Andrew was Matt. lol. 

I told him when he is older he will wait until he is married for sex, right? ;-). But if he doesn’t, if he does not use birth control, he can be stuck with some loser like Amber for the rest of his life!  He said “Gee, I know, Mom.” 

lol @ creepy old guy.

Now, how does he know the players on this show? Does he watch with you or do you fill him in? 

Damn teenagers. They know it all. lol 

[lilmarysunshine]

10 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

lol @ creepy old guy.

Now, how does he know the players on this show? Does he watch with you or do you fill him in? 

Damn teenagers. They know it all. lol 

He knows just by walking in and out of the room as I am watching. (Same with the Real Housewives. He will comment on the fighting with the Atlanta ladies.)

[druzy]

[TimeToCancelTM]

13 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

He knows just by walking in and out of the room as I am watching. (Same with the Real Housewives. He will comment on the fighting with the Atlanta ladies.)

My daughter calls them (TM, housewives etc) mommys “drama queen shows” lol she’s 7 people!!! Lol but she gets it... lol 

Edited March 13, 2018 by JuliesMommy
Typo lol

[druzy]

Here is your daily dose of Baby Huey:

 

[druzy]

This is an article from The Ashley. It includes both Teen Mom OG and Teen Mom 2. I posted it in Teen Mom 2 under the social media thread. In keeping with the numbers theme I choose to post this in Amber's thread. Why? 

6,521 Number of comments in Amber's thread

6,067 Number of comments in Cate's thread

3,331 Number of comments in Farrah's thread

2005 Number of comments in Maci's thread

(Mackenzie reading the letter to Maci at last year's reunion continued to flash before my eyes as I typed the above)

Quote

This seemed like a good time for The Ashley to take a look at all of the ‘Teen Mom’ franchise babies…by the numbers!

(Note: The following data includes the girls from ‘Teen Mom OG’ and ‘Teen Mom 2’ only. It does not include the casts of ‘Teen Mom 3’ or ‘Teen Mom: Young + Pregnant.’) 

1          Number of ‘Teen Mom’ babies that came very close to being named Saychelle (It was Farrah’s daughter, Sophia, by the way.)

 1          Number of ‘Teen Mom’ babies that share a middle name with their mother (It’s Amber’s daughter Leah, whose middle name is LeAnn like Amber’s.)

 1          Number of ‘Teen Mom’ girls who have had C-sections (Leah Messer has had two—one with her twins and one with Addie.)

 1        Number of ‘Teen Mom’ girls who were pregnant on their actual wedding day (It was Chelsea…Kail was not pregnant on the day she officially married Javi.)

1          Number of ‘Teen Mom’ girls who were filmed taking a pregnancy test…on the toilet (Thetoilet-sitter was Catelynn, in case you were wondering.)

 2          Number of ‘Teen Mom’ babies born in 2008 (They are the show’s oldest kids, Bentley and Leah.)

 3          Number of ‘Teen Mom 2’ kids born in wedlock (Leah’s daughter Addie, Kail’s son Lincoln and Chelsea’s son Watson were all born while the mom was married to the baby’s father.)

3          Number of ‘Teen Mom 2’ kids born in the month of January (They are Chelsea’s son Watson, Kail’s son Isaac and Jenelle’s daughter Ensley.)

3          Number of times Maci refused to allow cameras into the delivery room to film her births (During Bentley’s birth she purposely waited to call producers so that they would miss filming the birth for “16 and Pregnant.” For her other two births, she just refused to have it filmed.)

4          Number of ‘Teen Mom’ kids that weighed less than six pounds at birth (They were Leah’s twins, her daughter Addie and Chelsea’s daughter Aubree.)

4          Number of hours Catelynn spent in labor with Carly

5          Number of weeks premature Chelsea’s daughter Aubree was

7          Number of ‘Teen Mom’ moms who have at least one tattoo for their kid(s). (Chelsea has tattoos but none that are kid-related, while Farrah has no tattoos.)

 7        Number of years after Aubree’s birth that Chelsea waited to have Watson

 7        Number of months pregnant Kail was during her second wedding to Javi

 8        Number of children that have been born to (or are about to be born to) the ‘Teen Mom OG’ girls (by 6 different dads)

8          Number of weeks it took Kail to finally name her son Lux after his birth

10        Number of babies whose births have been featured on ‘Teen Mom OG’ or ‘Teen Mom 2’ (although not all of the actual births were shown on-air)

10        Number of years old the oldest ‘Teen Mom’ kid (Bentley) will be in 2018

12        Number of pregnancy tests Maci says she took before she finally believed she was pregnant with Jayde

 12        Number of people present in the hospital room when Kail gave birth to her son Isaac (This included two cameramen, two producers, Kail’s mom, Jo, Jo’s mom, a doctor and several of Kail’s friends.)

13        Number of babies born to the ‘Teen Mom 2’ girls (by 12 different dads)

16        Number of hours Kail spent in labor during Lincoln’s birth

21        Number of weeks pregnant Maci claims she was when she found out she was expecting Maverick

30        Number of hours Maci labored with Bentley before finally getting an epidural

80        Number of minutes (!) Chelsea’s labor with Watson lasted, from start to finish

200      Number of miles Barbara drove Jenelle to get her abortion in 2013

367      Number of days between the birth of Maci’s daughter Jayde and her son Maverick

33,655    Number of babies named Bentley in the six years after Maci’s “16 and Pregnant” aired

46,400   Number of Twitter follower ‘Teen Mom’ kid Sophia has

1.88 million    Number of ‘Teen Mom 2’ viewers who watched Jenelle give birth to Kaiser in a 2014 episode

[ghoulina]

16 hours ago, druzy said:

Here is your daily dose of Baby Huey:

 

Is that Amber strangling her new baby daddy?

[poeticlicensed]

18 hours ago, druzy said:

13        Number of babies born to the ‘Teen Mom 2’ girls (by 12 different dads)

Maybe I'm just a prude, but I find this very sad

[teapot]

I'm cracking up because I originally thought the mod was saying that they'll be hiding BECAUSE THEY'RE ALSO NON-PROUDLY WATCHING MBC.  Then I realized that they meant they're hiding the *posts,*  But, who knows, maybe they're a closet watcher also!!!!

[druzy]

20 minutes ago, teapot said:

I'm cracking up because I originally thought the mod was saying that they'll be hiding BECAUSE THEY'RE ALSO NON-PROUDLY WATCHING MBC.  Then I realized that they meant they're hiding the *posts,*  But, who knows, maybe they're a closet watcher also!!!!

I can't stop laughing! 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 3/10/2018 at 8:28 AM, ginger90 said:

What are the chances of a healthy baby?

Maybe she figured it all worked out okay for St. Maci of Bud Light.....

Idiots.

[Birdee]

1 hour ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Maybe she figured it all worked out okay for St. Maci of Bud Light.....

Idiots.

Maybe she's from the Rhine School of Sobriety where drinking doesn't count?

[druzy]

Quote

Amber Portwood is taking care of herself. The pregnant Teen Mom OG star opens up in the new issue of Us Weekly about managing her depression and her “good life change.”

“I’m on medication for depression now that’s safe for pregnant women, because it was getting pretty bad and we had a scare that maybe I would fall into a postpartum depression after the baby,” Portwood explains. “But everything’s going smoothly.”

“One of the main therapeutic things that I wanted to do is a blog for people who have mental illnesses and want to share their stories about how they overcame certain situations, just to show people that we’re all in this together,” she continues.

Us broke the news in November that the MTV reality star is expecting her first child with boyfriend Andrew Glennon. The pair started dating after meeting on the set of Marriage Boot Camp, which she was filming with her ex-fiance Matt Baier.

“We just really connect and definitely feel it was good for both of us,” Portwood tells Us of their romance. “We’re the happiest we’ve ever been.”

While the Never Too Late author, who shares 9-year-old daughter Leah with ex Gary Shirley, admitted the pregnancy was a “shock,” she is anxiously awaiting the arrival of her son, James, who is due on Mother’s Day.

“I just want a healthy baby. I  want everybody — me, Gary, [his wife] Kristina, Andrew — to blend  together and stop the back-and-forth,” Portwood tells Us. “I have a really calm, chill life and I’m happy for the first time, genuinely. “

Portwood does, however, admit that she is “nervous” about having a boy. “I’ve had people come up and tell me  that it’s so much easier, and then I have people tell me it’s harder. So, I guess I have to find out for myself.”

As for her future with her cinematographer BF, Portwood has no plans to walk down the aisle any time soon. “We haven’t talked about marriage or anything like that, and it’s not like a huge thing for us right now,” she says. “We’re happy where we’re at. If it happens,  it happens, and there’s no rush.”

Reporting by Carly Sloane

Lol-Portwood does, however, admit that she is “nervous” about having a boy. “I’ve had people come up and tell me  that it’s so much easier, and then I have people tell me it’s harder. So, I guess I have to find out for myself.”

What the hell does Amber know about raising a kid?

Here is the link to the article.

[ghoulina]

She has a really "calm, chill" life. Pretty easy to do when you never get off the couch. 

[ShaNaeNae]

12 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

She has a really "calm, chill" life. Pretty easy to do when you never get off the couch. 

Couch?  Couch is for when she's feeling adventurous and wants to boost her metabolism by walking to another room.  You know her bed is her real home. 

[druzy]

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, druzy said:

Too late. 

Dumbass.

Raise your hand if you would leave your $5 million dollar family home for a leased shit and piss-smelling home with a slug who sits on a couch non-stop?

Yeah, didn't think so.

His family probably booted him out because he owes them money, he stole from them, he did something and it is not sitting well with his family.

Edited March 16, 2018 by GreatKazu

[FairyDusted]

I don't think that's far fetched. This Dude is almost worse that OLDMATT. His hair looks like Brillo.  Still creeps me out Amber!

[Rebecca]

On 3/10/2018 at 11:42 AM, ginger90 said:

I hope she has a healthy baby too, but meds and alcohol? Ugh.

In addition to what I'm certain is poor nutrition, lack of exercise, etc. not to mention having Amber’s genes. Good luck, James. Ugh.

On 3/13/2018 at 1:09 AM, druzy said:

I know when I think of Amber my first thought is how much “heart” she has. These fucking people.

On 3/13/2018 at 4:59 PM, druzy said:

Here is your daily dose of Baby Huey:

 

Profound. Or something.

On 3/14/2018 at 9:23 AM, ghoulina said:

Is that Amber strangling her new baby daddy?

Exactly.

On 3/14/2018 at 11:53 AM, poeticlicensed said:

Maybe I'm just a prude, but I find this very sad

Me too...and the only reason it’s not 13/13 is because of Leah’s twins. They’re the only two with the same two parents.

[GreatKazu]

29 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

In addition to what I'm certain is poor nutrition, lack of exercise, etc. not to mention having Amber’s genes. Good luck, James. Ugh.

I know when I think of Amber my first thought is how much “heart” she has. These fucking people.

Profound. Or something.

Exactly.

Me too...and the only reason it’s not 13/13 is because of Leah’s twins. They’re the only two with the same two parents.

Chelsea will soon have two children with her spouse.

Maci has two with Taylor.

Another tidbit - Maci had her two kids before she actually got Taylor to marry her. Chelsea was engaged and planning a wedding when she became pregnant. Kail was married before she became pregnant.

[CofCinci]

5 hours ago, druzy said:

Yeah, his mitts are away from her money because doesn’t have any left!!! 

[Rebecca]

3 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Chelsea will soon have two children with her spouse.

Maci has two with Taylor.

I forgot about Maci and Taylor’s miraculous two, I guess the article author did too. I’m super behind on Chelsea’s thread, congrats to them.

[CofCinci]

I’m dating a guy (which is great because after divorce I was heartbroken and thought I’d never love again). When telling a friend how long we’ve been dating  — I caught myself doing Amber Math and adding more time onto the relationship.  Yikes. 

[FairyDusted]

Ridiculously funny! Those were full twins. Nicer than Ambies floor mattress.  

[EmeraldGirl]

I need a calendar on how long it’s been since Amber was seem without a bun.  

[FairyDusted]

26 minutes ago, EmeraldGirl said:

I need a calendar on how long it’s been since Amber was seem without a bun.  

At least it's a color found in nature now. Kinda.

[FairyDusted]

LOL ! piss yellow. I noticed on Teen Mom she was back to brown. Same stupid bun. She's boing for bald. Sorry she doesn't  have the head for that!

[GreatKazu]

1 minute ago, FairyDusted said:

LOL ! piss yellow. I noticed on Teen Mom she was back to brown. Same stupid bun. She's boing for bald. Sorry she doesn't  have the head for that!

It drives me crazy. It reminds me of Endtable's ginormous head.

[ghoulina]

12 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

It drives me crazy. It reminds me of Endtable's ginormous head.

Amber does seem to have a large head. I don't know. That bun aint' working for her. It makes her head look bigger and the back of her neck look really fat. 

[GreatKazu]

12 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Amber does seem to have a large head. I don't know. That bun aint' working for her. It makes her head look bigger and the back of her neck look really fat. 

She looks like she suffers from wiener neck. When the back of a person's neck looks like a pack of hot dog wieners, except in her case it looks like one humongous sausage is rolled up back there: 

[druzy]

[AmandaUnbidden]

On 3/16/2018 at 8:41 PM, GreatKazu said:

Chelsea will soon have two children with her spouse.

Maci has two with Taylor.

Another tidbit - Maci had her two kids before she actually got Taylor to marry her. Chelsea was engaged and planning a wedding when she became pregnant. Kail was married before she became pregnant.

Tyler and Cate's kids should be included if we're talking about kids with the same father. Both of Cate's were by Tyler. Or maybe they didn't count them because she placed her first for adoption? I guess technically Carly and Nova don't have the same parents. But if we're only talking about those that have kids by the same dad, then I think Cate should count.

Edited March 19, 2018 by AmandaUnbidden

[CofCinci]

1 hour ago, druzy said:

Why are they remodeling the floor of a rental? Because it is so destroyed that Amber will be sued again for repairs. Since she is broke, it’s cheaper for NuMatt to try to fix the floors. 

Got to laugh that he uses PPE respirator for the floors but fucked a beast like Amber without a condom. 

[GreatKazu]

2 hours ago, druzy said:

AKA repairing damage from shit and piss. 

I thought he had a job writing scripts? When does he do that? 

2 hours ago, AmandaUnbidden said:

Tyler and Cate's kids should be included if we're talking about kids with the same father. Both of Cate's were by Tyler. Or maybe they didn't count them because she placed her first for adoption? I guess technically Carly and Nova don't have the same parents. But if we're only talking about those that have kids by the same dad, then I think Cate should count.

I think the article is referring to kids being raised by at least one parent and/or who have partial custody such as Jenelle. Neither of Cate or Ty are raising Carly. Carly's parents are raising her.