Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[RealHousewife]

On 6/14/2014 at 8:45 AM, Shannon L. said:

Speaking of conversations, only on tv does no one ever say "goodbye" or the like before hanging up the phone.

Yes!

Not locking doors and turning alarms on

Kissing first thing in the morning. Let’s wash and brush first please! 

Everyone in a small town being incredibly attractive and thin.

[Shannon L.]

I don't know about anyone else, but I've never seen a fight or a chase through, or especially on top of, a moving train or subway car (although, I'm sure fights have happened inside, but I'm doubting the other things have happened).

[Katy M]

On 6/10/2019 at 4:04 PM, RealHousewife said:

Not locking doors and turning alarms on

Lots of people don't have alarms.  Sometimes I'm lucky if I remember to shut my door, much less lock it.  I'm probably going to get murdered in the middle of the night one these nights.  And, sometimes when I lock it, it doesn't much matter, because I've left the key in the lock.  

[ganesh]

I have a fenced in yard, and I had to leave the door open so my dog could go at night time. 

[Anela]

We don't have an alarm for our house. Never have. I have wanted one at times, but I'd also be afraid of setting it off. As it is, we can't afford one.

We also leave the back door open a lot, for the animals. I've asked dad not to do that when I'm sleeping, but he forgets - someone on our nextdoor site had a weird encounter with someone earlier in the year, and I really want the locks fixed on the front and back doors. 

[Gramto6]

I live in the boonies and never lock my doors. I have been known to go away overnight, hospital stay etc, and not lock up. I live alone, 70yrs old and am not afraid. I have windows cracked in several rooms for fresh air, doubt any security system would allow that.

[Bastet]

I neither have nor want an alarm (too many annoying false alarms for everyone I know who does have one, while not seeming to actually deter burglary or lead to arrest when it happens), and I don't particularly care if I don't lock my doors - if I unlock a locked door to use it during the day, I don't lock it again until I leave or go to bed, and on the occasions I forget to do so then, I don't worry too much about it, I just roll my eyes at myself and lock it the next night/time I leave.  (And I don't live in the boonies; I'm in a close suburb of a large city.) 

What I do fail to relate to - and think happens more often than in real life - is the number of TV characters with unlocked doors who are hunky dory with family/friends using those to pop in or, even when expected at a certain time, just walk in without announcing themselves.  I loathe pop-ins, and if I'm expecting someone, I prefer a knock/ring, but there are a (very) few people in my life I'd accept in the latter scenario instead opening the door and calling out "Knock-knock" or similar and then waiting for me to respond.  Anyone just coming in and making their way to the room I'm in?  No; that wouldn't happen a second time.  And if I had folks in my life routinely doing this like so many TV characters do, I'd get diligent about locking my doors in a hurry.

[andromeda331]

Not my family and I our houses are always locked, security systems, bats, and weapons ready to just in case there isn't a chance to make run for it. We've had three different family friends killed in robberies and my uncle was cop always drilling it into us that sometimes cops don't there in time. Which is why we're vigilant on locks, security systems and stuff. We hope to never have to use the weapons its more of a worse case scenario if we're unable to get out of the house, unable to call the cops, they aren't coming fast enough, if shooting off a warning shot doesn't scare them off. If we have to we will but it'll be the last option. We went through weapons training and have our plan for if someone breaks in. We do know how bad things can go in a robbery. 

[bilgistic]

I personally can't imagine not locking my door all the time. I have actual recurring nightmares of people trying to get into my home.

[Anela]

I've lived in a few neighbourhoods that weren't the safest, even when they looked like they were. My back door is open right now, but I have my reasons for not feeling so good about sleeping with unlocked doors. 

[Anela]

7 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

Not my family and I our houses are always locked, security systems, bats, and weapons ready to just in case there isn't a chance to make run for it. We've had three different family friends killed in robberies and my uncle was cop always drilling it into us that sometimes cops don't there in time. Which is why we're vigilant on locks, security systems and stuff. We hope to never have to use the weapons its more of a worse case scenario if we're unable to get out of the house, unable to call the cops, they aren't coming fast enough, if shooting off a warning shot doesn't scare them off. If we have to we will but it'll be the last option. We went through weapons training and have our plan for if someone breaks in. We do know how bad things can go in a robbery. 

When I was a kid, my mum's boyfriend once chased an intruder through my grandmother's garden, and over the fence, into the alley. There had been a number of break-ins in the neighbourhood. We also lived in an area that had people selling drugs right outside, people trying to break in every so often (like when my sister was home alone one time - she heard voices right outside the back door, one pointing out that someone was home). I've lived here for years with no problem, but activity has been rising in recent years, and so I just don't feel as comfortable as I once did. I used to go for walks in the middle of the night. 

9 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I personally can't imagine not locking my door all the time. I have actual recurring nightmares of people trying to get into my home.

So do I. Back in January, I woke up terrified after one dream, of a man with a huge knife, having broken into our house, ready to murder me and my family. It took me a while to calm down, even though I knew it was just a dream. 

[biakbiak]

I live in downtown SF, I often don’t lock my door even when I run out to do quick errands and frequently forget at night. I live in apartment building with a security door but people do get buzzed in and I have never had an issue.

In fact this morning we overslept for a flight and my boyfriend left to go get coffee for the cab ride and both of us kept forgetting things so went in and out of the apartment before we got in the cab. When our plane landed I asked him if he locked the door because I didn’t think I did and he couldn’t remember either so we texted our building manager and sure enough we hadn’t locked it!  I do feel better that she locked it with her master key because we will be gone a few days but it probably wouldn’t have been an issue. 

[ABay]

When I was growing up, our doors didn't even have locks. Maybe those little push-in things like on a bathroom door. When I was in high school, I think, we got deadbolts but I don't know why. 

Where I live now, the doors had those little doorknob locks and I asked my landlord to install deadbolts after one of the houses nearby was burgled and I noticed a guy sitting in his car on the street for a long time. This reminds me of of Happens on TV but not in Real Life things--In real life, you cannot sit in your car on a suburban street for hours at a time watching a house without someone calling the cops.

[Raja]

37 minutes ago, ABay said:

When I was growing up, our doors didn't even have locks. Maybe those little push-in things like on a bathroom door. When I was in high school, I think, we got deadbolts but I don't know why. 

Where I live now, the doors had those little doorknob locks and I asked my landlord to install deadbolts after one of the houses nearby was burgled and I noticed a guy sitting in his car on the street for a long time. This reminds me of of Happens on TV but not in Real Life things--In real life, you cannot sit in your car on a suburban street for hours at a time watching a house without someone calling the cops.

Speaking of which only on TV do criminal gangs with  security and lookouts fail to notice middle aged black and white duos in business suits sitting in a Ford Crown Victoria half  a block away all day

[Katy M]

10 hours ago, Anela said:

So do I. Back in January, I woke up terrified after one dream, of a man with a huge knife, having broken into our house, ready to murder me and my family. It took me a while to calm down, even though I knew it was just a dream. 

I had a dream once that someone I worked with was standing over my bed and he said "you need to ask yourself how I got in." I woke up and went to check the lock, which was unlocked.  I then saw a guy with a gun lurking around checking the doors on the nearby houses. I went to grab the phone to call the police and made eye contact with the guy outside. He shot into the house. I then woke up for reals, but was way too terrified to get up to check the door.  I checked when I got up in the morning.  It was locked for once.

[shapeshifter]

12 hours ago, Raja said:

Speaking of which only on TV do criminal gangs with  security and lookouts fail to notice middle aged black and white duos in business suits sitting in a Ford Crown Victoria half  a block away all day

And now I'm guessing only on TV are such duos obviously multi-ethnic, because in most real life neighborhoods, that would draw attention.
  
  
 

9 hours ago, Katy M said:

I had a dream once that someone I worked with was standing over my bed and he said "you need to ask yourself how I got in." I woke up and went to check the lock, which was unlocked. . . . then woke up for reals . . .

Heh, maybe you worked with my step-aunt, who was lecturing you too on locking your door (or you had too much pizza) before bed. After I told my step-aunt a too-long story of getting locked out when the spare key didn't work, she stopped bugging me about it, because she knows that I have inherited the same gene my uncle has for an endless supply of long stories.

Edited June 19, 2019 by shapeshifter

[janie jones]

On 6/17/2019 at 8:24 PM, Gramto6 said:

I live in the boonies and never lock my doors. I have been known to go away overnight, hospital stay etc, and not lock up. I live alone, 70yrs old and am not afraid. I have windows cracked in several rooms for fresh air, doubt any security system would allow that.

This is not a criticism at all, but it always surprises me when people say they live out in the boonies and therefore don't lock their doors.  I grew up in the boonies and we always locked our doors.  Our detached garage was burglarized one night when I was probably in elementary school.  Money was stolen from the ash trays of the cars and some items from my dad's office, which was in a room off the garage with a door that doesn't lock.  (This resulted in my parents getting garage doors, which we hadn't had.)  The house itself was robbed when I was in high school.  Didn't the In Cold Blood people who got murdered live out in the sticks, too?

[Melgaypet]

I've lived all my life in the boonies. Lots of meth heads out here. Still, growing up we never locked our doors and I know plenty of people who still don't. I got in the habit of locking my dorm room door at college and since then I've always locked up at night. Still, my doors are unlocked all day when I'm at home and if I'm going to run to the grocery store or the post office really quick, I don't always lock the front door behind me.

[2727]

Your SO is leaving the house. You walk outside and kiss him on the front porch, enjoying a lingering goodbye. Bonus points if you're holding a baby. You stand there and watch as he gets in his car and drives off.

Perfect opportunity for the PI/detective/spouse who's tailing you to get some nice clear photographs!

[Shannon L.]

I don't think I'd feel comfortable in a trendy, packed dance club due to all the gun fights that happen on the dance floor (that may be more of a movie thing).

[shapeshifter]

5 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

I don't think I'd feel comfortable in a trendy, packed dance club due to all the gun fights that happen on the dance floor (that may be more of a movie thing).

Especially since IRL the tables aren't bullet proof, so you can't turn one on it's side and hide behind it.

[Katy M]

16 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Especially since IRL the tables aren't bullet proof, so you can't turn one on it's side and hide behind it.

Well, just in general principle it's always better to make yourself less visible. Harder to hit an unseen target.  And, how do you know?  Maybe they're starting to invest in bullet proof tables because of all the shootings. If so, I hope they start with bullet proof school desks.

[Raja]

48 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Well, just in general principle it's always better to make yourself less visible. Harder to hit an unseen target.  And, how do you know?  Maybe they're starting to invest in bullet proof tables because of all the shootings. If so, I hope they start with bullet proof school desks.

That reminds me of an Emergency episode when the paramedics where under sniper fire when Gage used the approved army term to seek  "concealment" rather than the general civilian usage of cover. Cover being able to stop a bullet. But that is a Jack Webb production for you as I bet that any other firefighter would have said "cover" in that situation 

[andromeda331]

A guy's messy apartment or house always means he's single because 'no woman' would put up with that. Apparently messy or women slobs don't exist.

[DoctorAtomic]

Other way around - if the guy lives alone and he's tidy then he has ocd. 

[DrSpaceman]

On ‎7‎/‎24‎/‎2019 at 9:40 AM, Katy M said:

Well, just in general principle it's always better to make yourself less visible. Harder to hit an unseen target.  And, how do you know?  Maybe they're starting to invest in bullet proof tables because of all the shootings. If so, I hope they start with bullet proof school desks.

Not school desks, but they do make bullet proof backpacks now :

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/bullet-resistant-backpacks-office-depot-officemax-stores/

Edited July 31, 2019 by DrSpaceman

[DrSpaceman]

6 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

A guy's messy apartment or house always means he's single because 'no woman' would put up with that. Apparently messy or women slobs don't exist.

Or it means the single man is gay, or they think he is gay, like on Seinfeld

There was the very funny episode of Friends where Ross is dating the very hot but sloppy woman, tries to go to her apartment for sex and just can't do it

[Shannon L.]

All private detectives are alcoholics who are harboring some kind of grudge.

[janie jones]

11 hours ago, DrSpaceman said:

Or it means the single man is gay, or they think he is gay, like on Seinfeld

There was the very funny episode of Friends where Ross is dating the very hot but sloppy woman, tries to go to her apartment for sex and just can't do it

That's actually something I liked about Big Bang Theory.  Penny had a messy apartment (at first).  Not gross lady on Friends messy, but not perfectly tidy like every other single person on TV.

[Bastet]

18 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

A guy's messy apartment or house always means he's single because 'no woman' would put up with that. Apparently messy or women slobs don't exist.

I'm quite tidy myself, but I enjoy seeing messy homes on TV when it fits with the character, especially - just for even more variety - when it's a messy woman and/or tidy man.  I liked that on The Closer, Brenda was a bit messy at home (as she was with everything other than her job, heh) and Fritz was the one who wound up doing more than his share to keep things neat because that absolutely fit with their individual characters and their relationship, and it was a nice little background touch.  (And occasional explicit point; I love when he asked her if her shoes were afraid of the dark, and upon her confused response in the negative, asked if they could then please go in the closet where they belong.)

[Glendenning]

female hitchhikers on TV who manage to get to where they want instead of being raped, strangled and left in the woods or by the side of the road.

young sitcom kids (I'm looking at you, Michelle Tanner) who sneak out of their homes and are NOT pulled into windowless vans and next seen tagged in a morgue.

[Katy M]

48 minutes ago, Glendenning said:

female hitchhikers on TV who manage to get to where they want instead of being raped, strangled and left in the woods or by the side of the road.

young sitcom kids (I'm looking at you, Michelle Tanner) who sneak out of their homes and are NOT pulled into windowless vans and next seen tagged in a morgue.

Yeah, I'm actually pretty sure that happens in real life also.  Not every single female hitchhiker is raped, murdered or kidnapped.  And young kids sneak out and make it home safe and sound all the time.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating hitchhiking or picking up hitchhikers, but it's not 100% fatal.

[Dr.OO7]

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

I'm not advocating hitchhiking or picking up hitchhikers, but it's not 100% fatal.

Unfortunately not in Michelle Tanner's case.

Which reminds me. . .

Bratty TV kids always get away with acting in a manner that in real life would get them severely punished.

[Blergh]

12 minutes ago, Camille said:

Unfortunately not in Michelle Tanner's case.

Which reminds me. . .

Bratty TV kids always get away with acting in a manner that in real life would get them severely punished.

Yep, that includes Steve Urkel and why weren't HIS parents ever confronted with letting him run loose and wreak havoc? Still, I guess the studio audiences somehow think bratty stuff's funny if it happens to other folks and NOT in their own households! 

[Glendenning]

That time when America loved Michelle Tanner so the writers responded by making the show All Michelle, All The Time, is something no one will admit to anymore.

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, Glendenning said:

That time when America loved Michelle Tanner so the writers responded by making the show All Michelle, All The Time, is something no one will admit to anymore.

I never was a fan. I always liked the older two girls better. But that's also the downside when a character does become so popular the writers end up with over exposing the character to the point where everyone gets sick of him or her or they take away what made the character great and make them insufferable. A lot of people though she was a cute kid and loved the snarky lines she got but they turned her into an obnoxious spoiled brat who got away with everything. That's where the turn came. Did anyone really want that? Or have her take over the show? My favorite scene was DJ and Stephanie calling their dad out on how he lets Michelle get away with everything that he'd never let them get away with. Same with Urkel except for the stalking of Laura I liked him in the beginning cause he was a nerd and not a completely horrible person. But then he took over the show, kept causing more accidents and crap and became so obnoxious. Its like the writers or producers don't ever really understand what people like a about a character that made them popular, they just have them take over the show and take their worse qualities and make them the whole character or magnify them rather then the qualities that people actually liked. Instead of making them more likeable they make the character more insufferable. 

[Annber03]

4 hours ago, Glendenning said:

That time when America loved Michelle Tanner so the writers responded by making the show All Michelle, All The Time, is something no one will admit to anymore.

There's a blog I used to read called Full House Revisited, where this guy would review the show and comment on it. He, and those of us who would respond in the comments, had some truly hilarious things to say about Michelle and the way everything on the show went her way :D. 

[Katy M]

47 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

There's a blog I used to read called Full House Revisited, where this guy would review the show and comment on it. He, and those of us who would respond in the comments, had some truly hilarious things to say about Michelle and the way everything on the show went her way :D. 

The funny thing about the show is that I think they were unintentionally realistic.  Michelle always got her way and she turned into a big brat because of it.  But, I don't think the writers realized that they were writing a cautionary tale of how not to raise children.

[Glendenning]

The Olsens made millions off people's love of Michelle. I will *never* see that kind of money.

[ratgirlagogo]

On 8/9/2019 at 7:47 AM, Glendenning said:

female hitchhikers on TV who manage to get to where they want instead of being raped, strangled and left in the woods or by the side of the road.

That's less a TV vs real life thing rather than a generational thing.  In old movies it's always presented as a perfectly sane and reasonable way of travelling if you're low on funds.  E.G., It Happened One Night, from 1934.

[DrSpaceman]

On ‎7‎/‎23‎/‎2019 at 10:45 AM, Shannon L. said:

I don't think I'd feel comfortable in a trendy, packed dance club due to all the gun fights that happen on the dance floor (that may be more of a movie thing).

Much the same way every other customer in a strip club must be a detective looking for information on a stripper or prostitute just killed. 

[shang yiet]

Our hero/heroine enters the armed forces and is singled out for especially harsh treatment by the training officer for being too weak or a sissy. Once or twice our hero / heroine comes close to quitting. But he or she makes it to the graduation day ceremony. He or she will step up to exchange salutes with the very same training officer who taunted him or her. There will be a special moment. The training officer will have a look on the face that seems to say "Damn , I guess I underestimated you. You're tougher than I thought. I take back my words. You' re not a sissy."           

Now whether this happens in real life, I don' t know.

[methodwriter85]

On 8/11/2019 at 12:16 AM, ratgirlagogo said:

female hitchhikers on TV who manage to get to where they want instead of being raped, strangled and left in the woods or by the side of the road.

I mean, I'm a dude so maybe this isn't the same, but I took a ride home from a complete stranger that I met at a bar on New Year's 2018. We chatted on the way there and then I went inside my house after he dropped me off and I never saw the guy again.

I also rode home with a group of complete strangers who offered me a ride for Halloween 2015. That whole situation was more dramatic because I had to listen to a drunken argument break out but I was fine.

I also met up several times with different guys I met online in my teens and early 20's and yep, nothing Investigation Discovery happened.

Edited August 14, 2019 by methodwriter85

[Katy M]

44 minutes ago, methodwriter85 said:

I mean, I'm a dude so maybe this isn't the same, but I took a ride home from a complete stranger that I met at a bar on New Year's 2018. We chatted on the way there and then I went inside my house after he dropped me off and I never saw the guy again.

I also rode home with a group of complete strangers who offered me a ride for Halloween 2015. That whole situation was more dramatic because I had to listen to a drunken argument break out but I was fine.

I also met up several times with different guys I met online in my teens and early 20's and yep, nothing Investigation Discovery happened.

Yeah.  Again, I'm not recommending it because I don't think it's worth the risk. But, I would say probably at least 80% of hitchhikers get to their destination just fine.  But, why take the chance of being the 20%.

[Shannon L.]

Much like superheros only need a mask and hoodie to hide their identity, on tv, women can pass for men with just short hair, a fake mustache and male clothing and men can pass for women with simple make up, a wig and a dress.  No need to go the extra mile with expert make up and hair (facial hair for women) and just the right clothing to hide certain parts of the body. 

[Katy M]

19 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Much like superheros only need a mask and hoodie to hide their identity, on tv, women can pass for men with just short hair, a fake mustache and male clothing and men can pass for women with simple make up, a wig and a dress.  No need to go the extra mile with expert make up and hair (facial hair for women) and just the right clothing to hide certain parts of the body. 

Are you trying to tell me that Tootsie and Mrs. Doubtfire didn't fool you?  Not even for a minute?

[Shannon L.]

16 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Are you trying to tell me that Tootsie and Mrs. Doubtfire didn't fool you?  Not even for a minute?

lol! At least Tootsie thought to cover the Adam's apple and Mrs. Doubtfire had the help of professionals, but yeah......no. 

Edited August 15, 2019 by Shannon L.

[DoctorAtomic]

1 hour ago, Shannon L. said:

Much like superheros only need a mask and hoodie to hide their identity, on tv, women can pass for men with just short hair, a fake mustache and male clothing and men can pass for women with simple make up, a wig and a dress.  No need to go the extra mile with expert make up and hair (facial hair for women) and just the right clothing to hide certain parts of the body. 

Oh they had tons of 80s movies on that! 

[jenniferhartwell]

This is more an "New Media trope" but the notion that most women who dressed as men and acted the male gender role were the same as modern trans men. When they use "they requested no autopsy!" as their evidence, they leave out that this is the same era in which Queen Victoria's diaries and letters were permanently altered or destroyed to protect her reputation. 

[shlbycindyk]

My husband is a big fan of The Andy Griffith Show and watches it a lot on MeTV.  I've always wondered why Leon's mother let him roam all over Mayberry while eating a peanut butter sandwich.  He couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old!