Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

This is one where I really don't know if its true but is used quite often on TV :  do people really try to live in storage sheds? 

I can imagine all sorts of weird ass shit and secret stuff is hidden in them, but I wonder if people do live in them. 

35 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

But outside of those explicit conditions where they were basically repurposed for this, say the permanent storage areas you see in cities or off the side of the road, do people actually try to rent and live in those?  I am sure its illegal.  IT should be if its not.  But do people do it anyway?

 

Yes they do. I was just talking to my brother about one of his friends from grad school who used to live on a storage shed. He was super cheap so he'd live in the storage shed from August to late October. By mid October, the apartment complexes knew they weren't getting new tenants so they'd drastically reduce their rental amounts and he'd swoop in and get an apartment for super cheap. He'd shower in the locker room in the one of the campus gyms. A couple of times he lived in a tent on the edge of campus that was near a wooded area. One time he almost got killed by a bulldozer because he didn't realize that they were doing construction there. He now has a Ph.D. and works for the Department of Energy.

[ganesh]

We got a student living in a trailer/camper in the parking lot. 

[Shannon L.]

2 hours ago, Annber03 said:

If my time watching true crime shows is any indication, yeah, it's definitely tougher. Especially depending on what time of year you try to dig a grave, 'cause of the ground being cold and hard in the winter and all. Lot of people get tripped up trying to hide bodies that way. 

That's something else I've wondered about over the years.  I grew up in Northern Vermont and if someone died in the winter, they kept the casket somewhere else until the spring thaw because the ground was too hard to dig.  Is that not done all cold climates? 

[kiddo82]

That was also the reason they didn't bury Kyle Chandler's character right away in Manchester by the Sea.  I had never heard of that before I saw the movie but it makes sense.

[Lugal]

23 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

No matter what forest you need to run into, it always has trees wide enough to make a clear path--and the path is indeed clear.  No thick brush, very few fallen trees or branches, no low hanging branches or trees big enough and close enough together that you need to push the branches aside lest you get smacked in the face by them.  Just a nice, clean, clear path with maybe the occasional log to jump over.

It's not just an animal path, but a well maintained trail.  There are small roots occasionally for women to trip over.  But all the trees are usually pine, oak, or maple.  Never any brambles or briars, mesquites or anything with thorns.

4 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

This is one where I really don't know if its true but is used quite often on TV :  do people really try to live in storage sheds? 

I can imagine all sorts of weird ass shit and secret stuff is hidden in them, but I wonder if people do live in them. 

I used to work with a guy years ago who was planning to use a few storage trailers/shipping containers to build an off-the-grid house.  I lost contact with him after I quit so I don't know if he ever did it.

[Bort]

I just always assumed that a forest elsewhere in the U.S. was safer than ones around the Gulf of Mexico in Texas: two kinds of poisonous snakes, two kinds of poisonous spiders... and alligators! No fool goes traipsing through the wilderness around here.

[DearEvette]

On 8/24/2018 at 1:58 AM, Trini said:

This is my other issue with necklace snatching -- doesn't it hurt the person? Okay, half the time the snatcher doesn't care about the person, but still!

OMG.  This reminds of the time I actually saw someone try to do this IRL. But it didn't work like it does on tv.  The snatcher tried to claim that the snatchee (ex-roommate) stole her necklace.  And she tried to be all Alexis Carrington-like and snatch it off.  But instead of the necklace popping off in dramatic swell of righteous music, all the wanna-be snatcher accomplished was to drag the other girl's head/neck forward with such force that the girl's head bashed into her own face and chipped a tooth.

It turns out that it wasn't a necklace with some little dingle clasp, but some sort of bar clasp that locked in place.  It was an expensive necklace.  I am inclined to think it wasn't hers (the snatcher's) because if it was, you'd think she'd know she wasn't gonna be getting that thing off with a quick snap.

[Ohwell]

45 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

all the wanna-be snatcher accomplished was to drag the other girl's head/neck forward with such force that the girl's head bashed into her own face and chipped a tooth.

I'm sorry, but I'm dying laughing here.  I hope the snatchee's head was ok though. 

[Browncoat]

1 hour ago, kariyaki said:

I just always assumed that a forest elsewhere in the U.S. was safer than ones around the Gulf of Mexico in Texas: two kinds of poisonous snakes, two kinds of poisonous spiders... and alligators! No fool goes traipsing through the wilderness around here.

Here in western Va, we also have two venomous snakes, at least two venomous spiders, but no alligators.  In eastern Va, add at least another venomous snake or two.  And there’s underbrush like crazy — shrubs and vines and low-hanging branches. The only forests that are somewhat clear are the tree farms, and those still have the spider webs.

[irisheyes]

6 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

That's something else I've wondered about over the years.  I grew up in Northern Vermont and if someone died in the winter, they kept the casket somewhere else until the spring thaw because the ground was too hard to dig.  Is that not done all cold climates? 

My grandparents lived in Northern NY, and they both died during the winter months.  In both cases, they weren’t buried until the ground thawed in the spring,  My mom was living in a different state, and I know she went back for at least one of their burials. 

[DearEvette]

3 hours ago, Ohwell said:

I'm sorry, but I'm dying laughing here.  I hope the snatchee's head was ok though. 

Yeah, I know it is  pretty funny in restrospect.  At the time people were just perplexed about it all.  It was at a New Year's Eve house party several years ago and people were pretty drunk.  To add insult to injury the snatchee also had a drink in her hand so I think she also inadvertently doused the snatcher as well.  I think she (the snatcher) had a split lip and the cracked tooth which she got fixed, but was otherwise ok. And the snatchee had some marks on her neck and a little divot in her head (temporary), but I think she didn't need any medical attention.  I never found out the resolution of the ownership of necklace though.

Edited September 9, 2018 by DearEvette
mixed up the snatcher and snatchee

[riley702]

Although they can be deeper, most graves now are 4-5 ft deep, so that the top of the burial vault is approximately 18-24 inches beneath the surface of the ground once covered. This makes for tidy, flat, mowing. When I was planning mine, I found out it's legal in most graveyards to come along later and bury an urn of ashes on top, from say a pet. That deeper depth to 6 feet was a result of the Black Death and a real fear of animals being be determined to dig them up.

Edited September 9, 2018 by riley702

[Anela]

8 hours ago, kariyaki said:

I just always assumed that a forest elsewhere in the U.S. was safer than ones around the Gulf of Mexico in Texas: two kinds of poisonous snakes, two kinds of poisonous spiders... and alligators! No fool goes traipsing through the wilderness around here.

I've heard about Scorpions, too. No way I'd want to live there, or in the desert. I almost moved to Florida, with a friend, but the gators! They would have scared the crap out of me. She lived close to the sea for several years, in an artist's town/area.

I have a friend in North Carolina, who comes across a lot of copperheads. It's funny to her at this point, but she almost got too close one night, when she was tipsy. 

In Ohio, we also have snakes, but I've thankfully only seen grass snakes. We've also had bear paw prints in snow, not far from here (we live next to woods, and are in the middle of nowhere). A family friend once saw a big cat, like a mountain lion, but I don't often hear about them. It's mostly coyotes reported. 

I remember happily traipsing through the redwoods, and around a large empty property, next to our apartment building in Roseville, CA, as a teenager, totally unaware of the danger of any kind of spider, scorpion (I've heard they're in the woods), snakes, bears, mountain lions, and so on. In a small city, you don't expect it, but in the redwoods, I had no idea that bears could be in the trees. I can't remember if dad told us as we were walking through them, but I did love those woods. I think there were wider, smoother trails in places, just because the public visit so often as tourists. I'm so glad I've never stumbled across a dead body. 

Edited September 9, 2018 by Anela

[Joe]

1 hour ago, Anela said:

in the redwoods, I had no idea that bears could be in the trees. I can't remember if dad told us as we were walking through them, but I did love those woods.

I've seen them! Three to four feet tall, carry spears and bows. Say things like Yub nub, and worship a golden idol.

[Anela]

16 minutes ago, Joe said:

I've seen them! Three to four feet tall, carry spears and bows. Say things like Yub nub, and worship a golden idol.

Haha!! Stop. :) 

Dad said they filmed the ewoks around where he lived, in Northern California. I'm still wondering if we saw a small one when we were walking the dogs next to the canal, May of last year. It was far ahead of us, and something huge and furry. Dad thought it was a huge dog. We got to where it came out of the water, whatever it was, and turned around. It was almost dark, and I didn't want to find out what it was. 

[biakbiak]

2 minutes ago, Anela said:

Dad said they filmed the ewoks around where he lived, in Northern California

If he lived near Humboldt County than that is true. Endor is located in Redwoods National Park.

[Anela]

4 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

If he lived near Humboldt County than that is true. Endor is located in Redwoods National Park.

Crescent City. I forget how long he was there, but I looked it up, and he lived there when it was filmed. I think he said they filmed part of ET there, too. 

[Haleth]

18 hours ago, Bastet said:

One of the great things about being a TV character is that if you need to dig up a grave, buried treasure, or what have you, not only can you do it quickly and without breaking a sweat, you are so skilled you will dig out a perfect square or rectangle, with perfect edges even.  And, even if a grave, you'll only have a small mound of removed dirt to deal with.

Ha!  I remembered making the same observation and had to look back.  Page 3, a little over 4 years ago.  Still true.

The other thing about running through the forest, besides women always tripping over roots, is that there is always a tree large enough to hide behind (or even in, if it is rotted).  And either the bad guy chasing you will run past and not see you, or he will be waiting on the other side of the tree for when you think it's safe to come out.  The lesson is-- stay out of forests.

[janie jones]

4 hours ago, Anela said:

Haha!! Stop. :) 

Dad said they filmed the ewoks around where he lived, in Northern California. I'm still wondering if we saw a small one when we were walking the dogs next to the canal, May of last year. It was far ahead of us, and something huge and furry. Dad thought it was a huge dog. We got to where it came out of the water, whatever it was, and turned around. It was almost dark, and I didn't want to find out what it was. 

It was a young bigfoot.

[Jacqs]

That's interesting about a national park being Endor.

Hey, any Aussies here remember when the Green movement went ape when they wanted to film a Jessica Biel movie in the Blue Mountains National Park? The greens claim they are not a cult and don't believe in "sacred wilderness" but their actions and phrases such as "too precious to lose" and expressing hatred for human civilisation intruding on national parks says otherwise. 

[DrSpaceman73]

In an episode of Parks and Rec, when Leslie is considering taking the job as head of the National Parks, the Endor/Redwood Forest fact comes up. 

[Browncoat]

Way back in the dark ages, when the movie was first released, the Endor/Redwood forest fact was common knowledge -- even among more casual fans.  :)

[Jacqs]

I was in pre-school when ROTJ was in theatres!

[ratgirlagogo]

22 hours ago, kariyaki said:

I just always assumed that a forest elsewhere in the U.S. was safer than ones around the Gulf of Mexico in Texas:

Gee, I don't get why you would think that.  You think there are no large or even small  predators or deadly snakes/lizards/plants/insects in the rest of the country? Mudslides? Avalanches? Flash floods? Wildfires?

On 9/8/2018 at 3:54 PM, Shannon L. said:

I grew up in Northern Vermont and if someone died in the winter, they kept the casket somewhere else until the spring thaw because the ground was too hard to dig.  Is that not done all cold climates? 

Mr Rat's mother was also from Northern Vermont and went back there to live when she got older.  She died around six years ago in early February of that year and the family did not bury her until July for just the reason you gave.

[ratgirlagogo]

On 9/8/2018 at 1:18 PM, DrSpaceman73 said:

This is one where I really don't know if its true but is used quite often on TV :  do people really try to live in storage sheds? 

I can imagine all sorts of weird ass shit and secret stuff is hidden in them, but I wonder if people do live in them. 

I'm in NYC and I've seen people living deliberately in all kinds of unlikely and depressing places.  Some of the worst actually  were in California, though - huge groups of people living in dry riverbeds in juryrigged shacks of cardboard boxes and packing crates.

[theredhead77]

4 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Some of the worst actually  were in California, though - huge groups of people living in dry riverbeds in juryrigged shacks of cardboard boxes and packing crates

Homeless camps are a huge problem. Not only for the people living in them especially when the weather turns and the riverbeds get actual water in them but also for the NIMBYS. 

[Anela]

On 9/9/2018 at 10:07 AM, janie jones said:

It was a young bigfoot.

Oh, don't. Someone mentioned a bigfoot sighting, nine years ago, when we were on our way home from a fair. I said, "I'll bet someone thought they saw one here" and rolled my eyes. Sure enough, it was our area. 

And before, I wondered if we'd seen a small bear, not an ewok. Although if they were real, I wouldn't mind seeing one. 

[shapeshifter]

I'm going out on a limb here and stating that ONLY on TV (and other media used to convey fictional stories) and not in real life are ewoks or Big Foot.

[Anela]

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I'm going out on a limb here and stating that ONLY on TV (and other media used to convey fictional stories) and not in real life are ewoks or Big Foot.

Yeah, I know. That's why I rolled my eyes. I also wasn't sure if the previous posted was joking, or mocking me for some reason. My dog died this morning. I'm not my best, communication-wise. I was distracting myself with chit chat this weekend, here, and elsewhere, and obviously I shouldn't have. I thought the snark was supposed to be about movies and TV shows, not each other.

I was going to ask something on-topic, but don't remember what it was. 

Edited September 11, 2018 by Anela

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, Anela said:

Yeah, I know. That's why I rolled my eyes. I also wasn't sure if the previous posted was joking, or mocking me for some reason. My dog died this morning. I'm not my best, communication-wise. I was distracting myself with chit chat this weekend, here, and elsewhere, and obviously I shouldn't have. I thought the snark was supposed to be about movies and TV shows, not each other.

I was going to ask something on-topic, but don't remember what it was. 

I'm so sorry about your dog. 

[janie jones]

10 hours ago, Anela said:

Yeah, I know. That's why I rolled my eyes. I also wasn't sure if the previous posted was joking, or mocking me for some reason. My dog died this morning. I'm not my best, communication-wise. I was distracting myself with chit chat this weekend, here, and elsewhere, and obviously I shouldn't have. I thought the snark was supposed to be about movies and TV shows, not each other.

I was going to ask something on-topic, but don't remember what it was. 

I'm sorry to hear about your dog, but I was joking.  I'm aware that bigfoots aren't real.

[Calvada]

I know this has been said, but I never cease to be amazed at the magical healing power TV characters have.  Get knocked unconscious by some bad guy?  Just shake it off and keep going.  Get slugged in the face?  Stay calm, you won't even bruise.  Get shot and be near death in the ICU?  Don't worry, two or three days later you'll be heading home.  And relax, that surgical scar will never be seen again.  Even an illness like a head cold goes away overnight.  There's no week or two of coughing or carrying Kleenex  with you everywhere.  

And all those people who are shot in the shoulder?  I suffered a minor shoulder injury (not involving ammunition) six months ago, and after a lot of physical therapy it's finally getting better, so I can't imagine the damage a bullet would do and what that recovery would entail.

[Mittengirl]

Has anyone ever been shoved inside a school locker in real life?  Characters on tv talk about it like it happens to everyone.  I don’t think I have ever seen a locker big enough to hold someone over the age of five.

[Jacqs]

one thing i hate on TV and film -  tomboys (who mysteriously have substantial, if not outright long and flowing, hair) wear things like t-shirts and ripped jeans for most of the show or film, but in the school prom dance episode, they are all pretty dress and fancy earrings/sparkly necklace, and perfume. Why don't they do what a real life tomboy is likely to do for prom and wear a suit and maybe some gell in their hair, which itself wouldn't be as positively flowing as it is with the teenage (and "teenage" (well in their twenties)) actresses often playing tomboys on TV.

[Browncoat]

Eh, I’ve known plenty of tomboys (myself included) who dressed up for dances, but wouldn’t have been caught dead in a dress otherwise.  Not the perfume part, though, as perfumes tend to give me a headache.

[Haleth]

9 hours ago, Calvada said:

I know this has been said, but I never cease to be amazed at the magical healing power TV characters have.  Get knocked unconscious by some bad guy?  Just shake it off and keep going.  Get slugged in the face?  Stay calm, you won't even bruise.  Get shot and be near death in the ICU?  Don't worry, two or three days later you'll be heading home.  And relax, that surgical scar will never be seen again.  Even an illness like a head cold goes away overnight.  There's no week or two of coughing or carrying Kleenex  with you everywhere.  

And all those people who are shot in the shoulder?  I suffered a minor shoulder injury (not involving ammunition) six months ago, and after a lot of physical therapy it's finally getting better, so I can't imagine the damage a bullet would do and what that recovery would entail.

The most ridiculous example of this was on 24 when Jack Bauer actually died.  Yet he shook it off and continued to save the world.  Jack Bauer scoffs at death.

[Jacqs]

or how the Fonz must be an alien because he doesn't seem to require food, water or sleep, which humans need to recharge!

[auntlada]

1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

Eh, I’ve known plenty of tomboys (myself included) who dressed up for dances, but wouldn’t have been caught dead in a dress otherwise.  Not the perfume part, though, as perfumes tend to give me a headache.

There are varying levels of tomboy also. You can't necessarily tell a tomboy by the level of dress. I wore dresses on Sundays and other suitable occasions, but wore jeans and T-shirts (or sweatshirts) most days. I spent a lot of time running around, riding my bike, climbing trees (well into my teen years), etc. I liked clothes and fashion and makeup, but didn't necessarily know what to do with them. I liked boys, but didn't know how to tell if they liked me. Basically, I was socially awkward, but in a way that other people interpreted as shy.

But for my prom, I wore a pink strapless dress with an enormous skirt and a giant bow on the butt (it was the 80s). I still love that dress (even with the giant bow).

[Jacqs]

the concept of the tomboy is pretty self-defeating if one wants to fight the patriarchy and the imposition of masculine ideals for women.

[theredhead77]

2 hours ago, JacquelineAppleton said:

the concept of the tomboy is pretty self-defeating if one wants to fight the patriarchy and the imposition of masculine ideals for women.

What about women deciding for themselves what they want to wear? Am I bowing to the imposition of masculine ideals for women because I'm super stoked about the 90s resurgence and am totally looking forward to wearing flannels and Docs this winter instead of 12 scarves, yoga pants and Uggs?

[DrSpaceman73]

4 hours ago, Haleth said:

The most ridiculous example of this was on 24 when Jack Bauer actually died.  Yet he shook it off and continued to save the world.  Jack Bauer scoffs at death.

Also on 24 :

Never loses cell coverage, must have a GREAT plan, unlimited data with superfast speed that didn't even exist at the time, can transfer any detailed plan or document or email in seconds.  And never any problems with it being the wrong file type. 

Also LA traffic just doesn't exist on that show.  Never gets caught in a traffic jam.  Or a red light.  Get across the city in 15 minutes mid day?  No problem. 

[Annber03]

7 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

Also on 24 :

Never loses cell coverage

My mom comments on that whenever we're watching "Criminal Minds". She's always like, "Amazing how they can get a signal no matter where they go." :D. 

[Nordly Beaumont]

5 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

My mom comments on that whenever we're watching "Criminal Minds". She's always like, "Amazing how they can get a signal no matter where they go." :D. 

And how they can spell any name no matter how unusual or how many alternative spellings exist for that name.

[ganesh]

4 hours ago, auntlada said:

But for my prom, I wore a pink strapless dress with an enormous skirt and a giant bow on the butt (it was the 80s). I still love that dress (even with the giant bow).

I just read that description and hallucinated Simple Minds. 

[theredhead77]

30 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

Also on 24 :

Never loses cell coverage, must have a GREAT plan, unlimited data with superfast speed that didn't even exist at the time, can transfer any detailed plan or document or email in seconds.  And never any problems with it being the wrong file type. 

Also LA traffic just doesn't exist on that show.  Never gets caught in a traffic jam.  Or a red light.  Get across the city in 15 minutes mid day?  No problem. 

24 was the best worst commercial for Sprint, ever. My friends and I used to joke that the most unrealistic thing about 24 was the amazing cell service and lack of traffic.

[shapeshifter]

35 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

43 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

Also on 24 :

Never loses cell coverage

My mom comments on that whenever we're watching "Criminal Minds". She's always like, "Amazing how they can get a signal no matter where they go." :D. 

Back when I got my first cell phone around 1999-2000, most calls that I placed in Sacramento ended by being dropped rather than choice, after which I always muttered, "This never happens to Mulder and Scully," as I pictured one of them out in the middle of nowhere in a tall cornfield and the other in an underground lair.

Edited September 14, 2018 by shapeshifter

[HunterHunted]

27 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

24 was the best worst commercial for Sprint, ever. My friends and I used to joke that the most unrealistic thing about 24 was the amazing cell service and lack of traffic.

I used to joke that 24 would be a much better show if they just got rid of the teleportation. My friends used to ask "Teleportation?" My response was always "How else can he get across LA in 20 minutes."

[ganesh]

I think it would be a fantastic idea to pitch a variety show - Trope - that does a different one every week. Or maybe short skits. Like you do a 7 minute sketch on a 24-style show, and the hero is just sitting in traffic the whole time trying to connect a call. 

[janie jones]

10 minutes ago, ganesh said:

I think it would be a fantastic idea to pitch a variety show - Trope - that does a different one every week. Or maybe short skits. Like you do a 7 minute sketch on a 24-style show, and the hero is just sitting in traffic the whole time trying to connect a call. 

Ha!  If it's an hour show, every bumper could be a shot of the hero still sitting in traffic, only having advanced 25 feet.

[ganesh]

If look at a MadTv style set up for the show. You could do tons of bits. Look at everything that's been covered here. Or a Drunk History style set up with a cast of house actors rotating roles and three segments with a Narrator - Tonight, we take a look at Teen Dramas, starting with the Love Triangle *audience groan*.