Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[DoctorAtomic]

At least one of the upscale DC whiskey bar that a lot of us frequent when we go there for conferences closes at 2. 

[Browncoat]

The subway in DC doesn't run all night like it does in New York, either.

[proserpina65]

2 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Really? I would have thought DC would have a lot of bars and restaurants opened past two in the morning.

Nope. DC restaurants generally shut down well before midnight. Same with Baltimore.  Some of your diner-type places are open late but otherwise you're out of luck.  Even Denny's and IHOP mostly close at 11 pm.

[Ohiopirate02]

38 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

The subway in DC doesn't run all night like it does in New York, either.

I'm having flashbacks to the night I was out drinking in DC and had to run to catch the last train (or one of the last) back to Arlington.  I was in heels.  

[DoctorAtomic]

27 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I was in heels.

Did one of them break on your dash to the station?

[Ohiopirate02]

Just now, DoctorAtomic said:

Did one of them break on your dash to the station?

No, I made the executive decision to take them off, and ran through the streets of DC barefoot.  I was a broke grad student and we weren't in a bad part of town.  The shoes went on as soon as I got to the station.  

[DoctorAtomic]

That's probably even more television. 

[Haleth]

And of course you must have fallen at some point.  Women always trip and fall when running.  (Especially when being chased by a bad guy or monster.)

Edited July 13, 2023 by Haleth

[DrSpaceman73]

6 minutes ago, Haleth said:

And of course you must have fallen at some point.  Women always trip and fall when running.  (Especially when being chased by a bad guy or monster.)

Well they're always running in heels. So ot makes sense. 

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, Haleth said:

And of course you must have fallen at some point.  Women always trip and fall when running.  (Especially when being chased by a bad guy or monster.)

I did not fall on my .3 mile dash to the Metro.  Most likely because I took off the shoes.

[Browncoat]

4 hours ago, Haleth said:

And of course you must have fallen at some point.  Women always trip and fall when running.  (Especially when being chased by a bad guy or monster.)

Or maybe get the heel of one shoe stuck in some random grate. 

[ABay]

If you're blonde, chances of any of the above happening to you are doubled.

[Mabinogia]

7 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I did not fall on my .3 mile dash to the Metro.  Most likely because I took off the shoes.

You would be Final Girl in a horror movie. Good on you!

[SVNBob]

On 7/12/2023 at 5:54 AM, Haleth said:

I live on a street that isn't on google maps.  Man, if I had a nickel for every time a delivery person had to call for directions...  Yes, there really is a street there!

A reverse trap street?

Or constructed after the Googlemobile drove by?

[proserpina65]

10 hours ago, SVNBob said:

A reverse trap street?

Or constructed after the Googlemobile drove by?

When I was house hunting, Google Maps told me to turn right to get to the street on which a house I was interested in was located.  To do so, I would've had to drive off the side of a BRIDGE which had crossed that particular street since long before Google existed.  That's the biggest reason I never relay solely on technology.  That and the GPS woman who sent us through a completely unnecessary u-turn during a trip to Atlantic City.

[Ohiopirate02]

21 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

You would be Final Girl in a horror movie. Good on you!

Thank you.  I also have an advantage over most actresses, I have man feet.  My size 11 platform heels double as weapons if the need were to arise.

[Danielg342]

On 7/12/2023 at 12:27 AM, Zella said:

Google Maps can be pretty terrible in rural Arkansas too. If I had a dollar for every time someone ventured onto my dead-end dirt road because Google Maps has told them it is a throughway, I'd be a wealthy woman. 

You could run a toll booth there...it worked for others...

On 7/12/2023 at 12:07 PM, Cobalt Stargazer said:

That's because it only takes fifteen or twenty minutes to get there. Especially if Jack Bauer is flying the plane.

Well, if it takes 15 minutes to get to Paris from New York, you're travelling at a speed that is roughly 24,000 km/h. Partway through that ascent to 24,000 km/h, you would have to reach the normal cruising altitude of international flights, which is 42,000 feet.

Which means, according to the G-Force calculator, that most TV characters are now dead.

[Haleth]

8 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

Which means, according to the G-Force calculator, that most TV characters are now dead.

Nawww, not Jack Bauer.  

[merylinkid]

2 hours ago, Haleth said:

Nawww, not Jack Bauer.  

Ehh, he is just re-animated prior to landing.   

[JustHereForFood]

11 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

Well, if it takes 15 minutes to get to Paris from New York, you're travelling at a speed that is roughly 24,000 km/h. Partway through that ascent to 24,000 km/h, you would have to reach the normal cruising altitude of international flights, which is 42,000 feet.

Nah, you're just travelling at the speed of plot. Don't forget that when you need to have an important conversation or a high-stakes confrontation, it can take the rest of the characters 10 minutes to arrive from the next room and let you have your confrontation in peace.

[Danielg342]

12 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

Nah, you're just travelling at the speed of plot. Don't forget that when you need to have an important conversation or a high-stakes confrontation, it can take the rest of the characters 10 minutes to arrive from the next room and let you have your confrontation in peace.

Right. With walls so conveniently thick that the other characters won't hear your conversation at all even though parts (or even all of it) may pertain to them.

[merylinkid]

10 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

With walls so conveniently thick that the other characters won't hear your conversation at all even though parts (or even all of it) may pertain to them.

Or walls just thick enough that you can't hear everything, just enough to have a complete misunderstanding.   Rather than ask about what you overheard, you spend the rest of the show behaving towards the other character based on that misunderstanding.   Until it is all resolved at the end.

[SoMuchTV]

11 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

Right. With walls so conveniently thick that the other characters won't hear your conversation at all even though parts (or even all of it) may pertain to them.

Who needs walls??!!  Just step over to the other side of the room to have your private conversation!  Or for extra privacy, you can step into the kitchen, which in TV shows of a certain era will always have that little window into the living room.  (I don't think I've ever seen one of those in an actual house or apartment I've ever been in.)

[Laura Holt]

Speaking of conveniently thick walls, there is also the other side of that coin.  The times when you can hear your neighbors when most of the time it's like your apartment is in a bubble somewhere totally unaffected by neighbors noises or outside noises.  In one show I saw the other day, the couple live in a high end apartment and for 4 seasons we are basically unaware that they even have neighbors, until, for the sake of one episode we can hear every sound the upstairs neighbor makes, even down to whispered conversations.

I don't know about the rest of you but if I lived in a pricey apartment and could hear the whispered conversations of a neighbor I would not be happy!

[JustHereForFood]

1 hour ago, merylinkid said:

Or walls just thick enough that you can't hear everything, just enough to have a complete misunderstanding.   Rather than ask about what you overheard, you spend the rest of the show behaving towards the other character based on that misunderstanding.   Until it is all resolved at the end.

Just like in those good old times when you had a landline and knew exactly when to pick up the phone to overhear someone else's conversation.

[Lugal]

On 7/14/2023 at 8:36 PM, Danielg342 said:

Well, if it takes 15 minutes to get to Paris from New York, you're travelling at a speed that is roughly 24,000 km/h. Partway through that ascent to 24,000 km/h, you would have to reach the normal cruising altitude of international flights, which is 42,000 feet.

Which means, according to the G-Force calculator, that most TV characters are now dead.

I remember years ago, when I went to Meteor Crater, the guide said the meteorite was flying fast enough to go from London to Seattle in 9 seconds.  Which is why it was vaporized when it hit the ground.

5 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Who needs walls??!!  Just step over to the other side of the room to have your private conversation!  Or for extra privacy, you can step into the kitchen, which in TV shows of a certain era will always have that little window into the living room.  (I don't think I've ever seen one of those in an actual house or apartment I've ever been in.)

Don't forget the curtains around hospital beds.  They can ensure complete privacy.

On 7/15/2023 at 7:58 AM, JustHereForFood said:

Don't forget that when you need to have an important conversation or a high-stakes confrontation, it can take the rest of the characters 10 minutes to arrive from the next room and let you have your confrontation in peace.

Just once I would love a show to have the dramatic moment with a character missing and then we cut to the actor/actress just sitting behind the wheel screaming at people.

[possibilities]

6 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

you can step into the kitchen, which in TV shows of a certain era will always have that little window into the living room.

My home has the window between kitchen and living room! I think it was A Thing for a while, to build kitchen/living room semi-open concept. Maybe to pretend that whoever did the cooking wasn't actually being excluded from socializing, or maybe so that person could keep an eye on the kids while making dinner.

[Quof]

Nobody kept on eye on us while they were making dinner. They relied on the noise level to alert them if we were being murdered, otherwise we were on our own.  That's why we all roll our eyes at House Hunters and their insistence the entire house must have no walls, so they can all see each other at all times.  

[Mabinogia]

32 minutes ago, possibilities said:

My home has the window between kitchen and living room!

Mine is between kitchen and the dining room section of an open living area. I do think it was a thing for a while, kind of a transitional phase between individual rooms of old and the open living concept of now. I don't mind it because it allows me to watch tv while I'm working in the kitchen. I live alone so I don't actually have to worry about being overheard sharing any scandalous secrets. lol

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, Mabinogia said:

I don't mind it because it allows me to watch tv while I'm working in the kitchen. I live alone so I don't actually have to worry about being overheard sharing any scandalous secrets. lol

Just watch out for the dozen people who ring your bell for the party, all bearing present's presents  which you open by lifting the top off. 

Edited July 16, 2023 by SoMuchTV
I swear I don't know where that apostrophe came from!

[possibilities]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

Nobody kept on eye on us while they were making dinner. They relied on the noise level to alert them if we were being murdered, otherwise we were on our own.  That's why we all roll our eyes at House Hunters and their insistence the entire house must have no walls, so they can all see each other at all times.  

Nobody watched us, either. In fact, we were told to go away and amuse ourselves where the adults didn't have to see us, most of the time. But, I don't know if that was true when we were toddlers. I suspect not.

Still, I think it's part of the helicopter generation, that they no longer are expected or even allowed to be out of sight.

The place I live is an apartment in a 300 year old house that was converted in the 1980s. That might have been pre-helicopter, but they still had that opening between the kitchen and living room. The kitchen is really too small, so maybe they did it to keep the cook from claustrophobia.  

[AstridM]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

Nobody kept on eye on us while they were making dinner. They relied on the noise level to alert them if we were being murdered, otherwise we were on our own.  That's why we all roll our eyes at House Hunters and their insistence the entire house must have no walls, so they can all see each other at all times.  

Same people who can’t fathom that cell phones are only a fairly recent invention, and that parents in the past managed to keep track of their kids without them. It’s ok to go to the movies and turn off your damn phone for 2 hours. 

[Laura Holt]

I accept that some women are very comfortable wearing high heels, I am having a harder time believing that women wear high heels around the house.  A sitcom I'm watching right now has, at least, let her wear jeans (for that oh so casual look) but, seriously, paired with stilettos as she lounges about the house?  I really don't think so.

[Irlandesa]

Mine are things that I see on TV that I'm sure happen but maybe not as universally as TV portrays them to be.

Sex:

Much like women wearing bras while having sex--sure it happens but probably not as often as it happens on TV--the person giving a women oral sex is pretty much always buried under the covers where they "pop" out to be revealed.  It doesn't matter what the climate outside is or how smothering the blankets look to be, there they are.

Travel Snafus:

There's a blizzard outside that shuts down an airport completely.  No planes will go out until the next morning (even though most snow-affected airports do a spectacular job of opening up at least one runway except in the worst conditions of a storm).  So the intrepid travelers in our movie or tv show decide they'll rent a car if they can't fly as if driving in a blizzard is somehow easier to do or safer than flying. It's like people who write these don't realize that if an airport is closed due to a blizzard, traveling in that snow is extremely dangerous and there's a good chance roads have been closed off as well.

[Kel Varnsen]

9 hours ago, possibilities said:

The place I live is an apartment in a 300 year old house that was converted in the 1980s. That might have been pre-helicopter, but they still had that opening between the kitchen and living room. The kitchen is really too small, so maybe they did it to keep the cook from claustrophobia.  

Is it possible that the living room used to be a dining room. I grew up in a very old house (not 300 years old though) and there was like an opening that you could lift open and closed (like a window but with a piece of wood instead of glass) between the kitchen and the dining room. My mom told me it was so that back in the old days the person working in the kitchen (probably a servant) could pass food into the dining room without having to come in. But at one point my parents didn't want to have a fancy dining room that rarely got used so they put couches and a tv in there.

[janie jones]

22 hours ago, Quof said:

Nobody kept on eye on us while they were making dinner. They relied on the noise level to alert them if we were being murdered, otherwise we were on our own.  That's why we all roll our eyes at House Hunters and their insistence the entire house must have no walls, so they can all see each other at all times.  

I get it when they want to be able to see their kids, because I feel like it's usually parents of toddlers who want that, but what it unfathomable to me is people who insist on an additional room for their little kids to play in and/or "teen space." Like, isn't that what people's bedrooms are for? I mean, a lot of us when I was in high school had what amounted to "teen space," but really it was more like people's parents just didn't go in the basement when we were hanging out down there, and I'm sure the parents didn't buy the house with that in mind.

What I really want to know is if people actually expect to entertain as often as they insist they need the facilities for on these shows.

[DearEvette]

20 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

Sex:

Much like women wearing bras while having sex--sure it happens but probably not as often as it happens on TV--the person giving a women oral sex is pretty much always buried under the covers where they "pop" out to be revealed.  It doesn't matter what the climate outside is or how smothering the blankets look to be, there they are.

The one I always wonder about is when the couple are so hot for each other that they are kissing and groping madly even as they are opening the front door.  And as they get inside they are still kissing and groping and ripping off their clothes and they careen off the furniture so that lamps, vases, flowers -- basically anything on a surface -- goes crashing to the floor as they make their destructive way through the house, breaking and upending shit.  They may or may not make it to the bedroom, if they don't they'll arm swipe all the stuff off a desk or table to get it on on the table.

[possibilities]

I personally find breaking of things and making messes to be a turn off, but maybe everyone in Hollywood makes so much money that they think broken vases are nothing and messes will be cleaned up by the hired help.

[Lugal]

Caught a Hallmark movie the other day where Rachel Boston dreams of starting her own jewelry business.  I didn't know you could start something like that out of your living room.  It was just so easy! She's just cutting in designs with her dremel while talking on the phone and firing up the torch right there with her hair loose.  And none of her friends complained about the smell.  But then again I didn't see any jars with big labels like "Acid: do not drink!"  So I guess that means that firescale must not be that big a deal either.

[Shannon L.]

Puppies on tv are either perfectly behaved or little monsters. There's no in between. 

And only on tv are bloodhounds super lazy, unless they are working.  

Edited August 13, 2023 by Shannon L.

[Laura Holt]

Women going out with their parents and the dress they've got on is cut down to their bellybutton.  I've no doubt there are some families that wouldn't blink an eye if their daughter showed up for a family event dressed like that.  But not many.  

[Cloud9Shopper]

I love Carol’s reunion with Doug on ER but I always laugh when she is running to catch the plane to Seattle and just hops right on like 30 seconds before the plane takes off or something. It’s one of those reminders that this was a pre-9/11 world and I sadly can’t remember if this could have happened in real life 2000, (as I’ve never flown and life before 9/11 feels like a distant memory even though I’m in my 30s) but every time I watch the episode, I always catch myself thinking “she would never get away with that today.” I get taken out of the sequence for a hot minute.

It also seemed unrealistic the way she quit. Just being like “oh I won’t be here tomorrow” while Mark is baffled and going to Seattle with like none of her belongings. (And I’d feel bad for Luka with the speech she gave him but he chose to marry Abby so I have zero sympathy for him in the end. 😈) 

 

[Laura Holt]

I was watching an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray loses his wedding ring and there is this immediate assumption that a man not wearing a wedding ring must be unmarried.  Maybe it's just the people I know but many of us may have wedding rings but we don't wear them much, if at all, for any number of reasons.  Anyway all to say the lack of a ring wouldn't make me assume someone wasn't married.

[Zella]

48 minutes ago, Laura Holt said:

I was watching an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray loses his wedding ring and there is this immediate assumption that a man not wearing a wedding ring must be unmarried.  Maybe it's just the people I know but many of us may have wedding rings but we don't wear them much, if at all, for any number of reasons.  Anyway all to say the lack of a ring wouldn't make me assume someone wasn't married.

Yeah I have a lot of relatives who don't wear wedding rings because they do manual labor. It's a safety issue. It doesn't make them any less married.

[Mabinogia]

59 minutes ago, Laura Holt said:

Anyway all to say the lack of a ring wouldn't make me assume someone wasn't married.

I think, if I saw a guy alone that I thought was attractive and he wasn't wearing a ring I'd flirt with him, so in that sense, yeah, I'd assume he wasn't married until he said, "Sorry, I'm married". Then I'd back off. 

What I hate is the assumption that if a married person isn't wearing their ring they are looking to cheat. Because this...

10 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yeah I have a lot of relatives who don't wear wedding rings because they do manual labor. It's a safety issue. It doesn't make them any less married.

Sometimes rings just aren't practical, or you just don't like wearing one (that would be me. I'm not married but I'm not sure I'd want to wear a ring even if I was because I hate things on my hands). 

 

[Bastet]

I'd probably subconsciously assume someone wasn't married if they weren't wearing a ring, but if I found out they were married, I wouldn't be remotely surprised or suspicious about the absence of a ring.

[Annber03]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

Yeah I have a lot of relatives who don't wear wedding rings because they do manual labor. It's a safety issue. It doesn't make them any less married.

And there's some people that just have a hard time finding a ring that fits, or had a wedding ring that used to fit them but doesn't now because they've lost or gained weight. I have very thin fingers, which is one reason I don't wear rings in general. If I were to ever get a wedding ring, I'd need to find a very specific size that would fit me :p. 

[Shannon L.]

I'm working my way through some older shows that I missed when they first aired. Right now, I'm midway through Season 2 of Gilmore Girls and I could have a field day with it in this thread. It really should be listed as a fantasy. 

My husband hasn't worn his wedding ring for years because he developed psoriasis on his hands and feet and the ring was becoming uncomfortable.  

 

Edited August 26, 2023 by Shannon L.

[Laura Holt]

1 minute ago, Annber03 said:

or had a wedding ring that used to fit them but doesn't now because they've lost or gained weight.

This is me.  I was really ill a number of years ago and ended up on prednisone for ages with the biggest consequence being weight gain.  I lost that weight but my fingers never went back to their old size and I can't be bothered to resize the rings because I got used to not wearing them and I prefer it that way.  I don't even wear a watch or bracelet I just don't like the feel of things on my hands or wrist.

[AgathaC]

Yeah, my husband goes through periods where he doesn’t wear his because he’ll occasionally develop what seems like a little allergic reaction (red, itchy finger). It’s not a big deal for him to not wear it for a week or two once a year.

And, @Shannon L., don’t get me started on Gilmore Girls…

Edited August 26, 2023 by AgathaC