Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Stats Queen]

On 5/11/2020 at 1:45 PM, Ohiopirate02 said:

I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I love how TV characters can find the exact article they are looking for on microfilm in like 15 minutes.  Usually with an unhelpful, disapproving librarian somewhere in the background.**  MIcrofilm is a PITA even when you know the exact roll you need and the article in question will appear on the first page of the first date on the roll.  But no, our protagonist knows exactly how to set up the roll on the reader, zoom along and stop exactly where paydirt is found.  No need to move the film up and down, left or right to be able to read it.  

 

**Most librarians are willing to help you narrow down your microfilm search and teach you how to use the machine.  We know how difficult it is to find information on something that is not searchable.  Just  don't keep on calling Microfilm Microfiche.  

Thank you, microfilm and microfiche are two different things. I remember in high school going through lots of microfilm at the library for projects - it was time consuming.

Yes, I am not young- my first job out of college was at one of the Bell companies working with people who put phone records on microfiche, it was fascinating but man we live in such an a awesome, digital age now..l

[Hiyo]

Quote

I had to like the irony of the whole series that this brilliant and determined detective had no clue about his OWN actual origins and identity until near the end of the whole series.

Except he wasn't a brilliant and determined detective, that was the whole point of the show...Laura was the brains of the operation, he just showed up to fit into the image of the male detective her firm needed.

[bijoux]

18 hours ago, Stats Queen said:

Thank you, microfilm and microfiche are two different things. I remember in high school going through lots of microfilm at the library for projects - it was time consuming.

Yes, I am not young- my first job out of college was at one of the Bell companies working with people who put phone records on microfiche, it was fascinating but man we live in such an a awesome, digital age now..l

So what is the difference? I'm pretty sure I never handled either. 

[biakbiak]

4 minutes ago, bijoux said:

So what is the difference? I'm pretty sure I never handled either. 

Microfilm contains the documents on a roll of film, Microfiche is a sheet of document images. 

Edited May 13, 2020 by biakbiak

[Shannon L.]

Apparently,  never in the history of public schools has a substitute teacher been treated, for the most part, with respect.

[Stats Queen]

4 hours ago, bijoux said:

So what is the difference? I'm pretty sure I never handled either. 

Well, I should have explained that in the first place. Thank you @biakbiak

[DoctorAtomic]

3 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Apparently,  never in the history of public schools has a substitute teacher been treated, for the most part, with respect.

But they sit on the chair backwards all the time and want to 'rap'. 

[merylinkid]

On 5/13/2020 at 1:17 AM, Hiyo said:

he just showed up to fit into the image of the male detective her firm needed.

His contribution was usually to reference a film noir.   Then apply it to the situation at hand.   Because apparently faux things in film noir do happen in "real life."  

[Hiyo]

Hey, he predated TV shows using pop culture as part of the plot/dialogue. Who knew how forward thinking the faux Mr. Steele was...

Edited May 14, 2020 by Hiyo

[SVNBob]

On 5/13/2020 at 5:58 PM, Shannon L. said:

Apparently,  never in the history of public schools has a substitute teacher been treated, for the most part, with respect.

The first season of Head of the Class being a long-term exception to the rule.  Howard Hessman's Mr. Moore was a sub that entire season, and worked to gain the respect of the IHP class.  He was finally hired as the full-time replacement at the start of season 2.

[Katy M]

6 hours ago, SVNBob said:

The first season of Head of the Class being a long-term exception to the rule.  Howard Hessman's Mr. Moore was a sub that entire season, and worked to gain the respect of the IHP class.  He was finally hired as the full-time replacement at the start of season 2.

But he must have been a horrible teacher because after teaching the same group of seniors (less 3) for four years, they had to bring in another teacher to finally get the job done.

[Blergh]

Just now, Katy M said:

But he must have been a horrible teacher because after teaching the same group of seniors (less 3) for four years, they had to bring in another teacher to finally get the job done.

Yes, AND let's hope in Real Life, there's no Advanced Honors class of seniors that takes that long to graduate. Why were the seniors' parents and the principal Dr. Samuels considered villains for actually objecting to his unconventional methods- especially considering how said methods appeared to FAIL the students in the long run?

[paulvdb]

I just started watching the Lifetime movie Twisted Twin which reminded me of this one: twins being separated at birth and only finding out they have a twin when they are teenagers or adults. I can't imagine that happens as often in real life as it happens in tv and movies.

[Blergh]

17 minutes ago, paulvdb said:

I just started watching the Lifetime movie Twisted Twin which reminded me of this one: twins being separated at birth and only finding out they have a twin when they are teenagers or adults. I can't imagine that happens as often in real life as it happens in tv and movies.

There has been at least one famous case of two babies who got switched to different families in the hospital. Kimberly Mays and the late Arlena Twigg. With the possible exception of  Arlena Twigg who, by all accounts, was beloved and well-cared for by her presumptive family until her early death, it seems ALL parties got badly burned here and had lifelong repercussions .

[kieyra]

35 minutes ago, paulvdb said:

I just started watching the Lifetime movie Twisted Twin which reminded me of this one: twins being separated at birth and only finding out they have a twin when they are teenagers or adults. I can't imagine that happens as often in real life as it happens in tv and movies.

I can't remember how I stumbled on this podcast, but how about two sets of twins mixed up at birth?

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/22/podcasts/the-daily/special-episode-bogota-twins.html

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, Blergh said:

There has been at least one famous case of two babies who got switched to different families in the hospital. Kimberly Mays and the late Arlena Twigg.

But those two weren't twins.

For a real life example of twins (or triplets in this case) being separated at birth, there are the three men in the documentary Three Identical Strangers.  It was part of a controversial twin experiment. 

[DoctorAtomic]

And here I thought a controversial twin experiment meant one would get the other to stall with his gf so he could go out with someone else. 

[Blergh]

2 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

But those two weren't twins.

For a real life example of twins (or triplets in this case) being separated at birth, there are the three men in the documentary Three Identical Strangers.  It was part of a controversial twin experiment. 

I sure stand corrected (and the horrible thing about what happened to those three men and so many other sets of multiples was that this was by no means an 'oops' but a very deliberate action for still unclear purposes). !

[Hiyo]

Quote

And here I thought a controversial twin experiment meant one would get the other to stall with his gf so he could go out with someone else. 

Experiment? No, stuff like that happens daily with twins.

[Moose135]

3 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

For a real life example of twins (or triplets in this case) being separated at birth, there are the three men in the documentary Three Identical Strangers.  It was part of a controversial twin experiment. 

The triplets who found each other were from Long Island where I am from, and I remember the story when it broke, but I never heard the follow up to it that it was part of an experiment.

[smittykins]

OWN is showing “Secret Siblings”(the 20/20 episode about the twin/triplet study)right now.

Edited May 21, 2020 by smittykins

[andromeda331]

People are always asking detectives or PI's to look into accidents and suicides because they are sure their family or friend was murdered or look into the accident or suicides themselves. And they always turn out to be correct. Never was it really just an accident or suicide and the family or friend didn't, wouldn't or couldn't accept it. 

[Katy M]

12 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

People are always asking detectives or PI's to look into accidents and suicides because they are sure their family or friend was murdered or look into the accident or suicides themselves. And they always turn out to be correct. Never was it really just an accident or suicide and the family or friend didn't, wouldn't or couldn't accept it. 

I remember a twist on that once. I won't say what show, just in case someone would get spoiled when starting to watch the epi. But, a wife hired PIs to look into her husband's accidental death convinced it was murder, and it turned out it was suicide.

[ABay]

Conspiracy theorists in real life often complain that the term is pejorative and dismissive of their beliefs. In depictions of conspiracy theorists in popular culture, they may initially seem bat shit crazy but are inevitably proven correct.

If you are a law enforcement agent and your former partner or mentor shows up, there are only 2 ways the story will end: They were corrupt and you have to arrest them or they are killed and you have to find the murderer.

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, ABay said:

If you are a law enforcement agent and your former partner or mentor shows up, there are only 2 ways the story will end: They were corrupt and you have to arrest them or they are killed and you have to find the murderer.

There is also option 3 where your (usually retired) mentor needs your help with solving their white whale.  

[Llywela]

5 hours ago, Katy M said:

I remember a twist on that once. I won't say what show, just in case someone would get spoiled when starting to watch the epi. But, a wife hired PIs to look into her husband's accidental death convinced it was murder, and it turned out it was suicide.

I saw another twist on the theme, in another show I won't name because spoilers, but the grieving relative who hired the PI to investigate a supposed suicide turned out to actually be the killer, thinking he was being clever, throwing people off the scent and checking how well he'd covered his tracks at the same time.

[Katy M]

1 minute ago, Llywela said:

I saw another twist on the theme, in another show I won't name because spoilers, but the grieving relative who hired the PI to investigate a supposed suicide turned out to actually be the killer, thinking he was being clever, throwing people off the scent and checking how well he'd covered his tracks at the same time.

Well, that was monumentally stupid of him.  If you kill someone and it gets ruled as a suicide, thank your lucky stars and move on. 

[Llywela]

2 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Well, that was monumentally stupid of him.  If you kill someone and it gets ruled as a suicide, thank your lucky stars and move on. 

Quite! It is very far-fetched - therefore perfectly fitting for a thread devoted to 'faux things that happen on TV but not in reality' - but the story around it is pretty good.

[DoctorAtomic]

I am very disappointed that when the limes rolled out of my bag at the grocery store today, no True Luv was to be found. 

[Popples]

8 minutes ago, Llywela said:

I saw another twist on the theme, in another show I won't name because spoilers, but the grieving relative who hired the PI to investigate a supposed suicide turned out to actually be the killer, thinking he was being clever, throwing people off the scent and checking how well he'd covered his tracks at the same time.

I read a book where that was the plot. Somewhere in the first third of the book I figured out it was the relative, but convinced myself it couldn't be because I couldn't understand why the hell would they hire a PI (although that was a plot point in and of itself) if they did it.

[Mittengirl]

I am still waiting for a never married aunt or uncle to will me a chunk of money with the stipulation that I spend the money on something fun or frivolous or to fulfill my wildest dream (because they never did).  Or for a grandparent to will me an inn, bakery, diner or cafe in a small town where I will meet my true love.  And there won’t be a cousin or sibling who contests the will, or at least harasses me because they are angry they weren’t left an equal inheritance.

Edited May 23, 2020 by Mittengirl

[SVNBob]

12 hours ago, ABay said:

Conspiracy theorists in real life often complain that the term is pejorative and dismissive of their beliefs. In depictions of conspiracy theorists in popular culture, they may initially seem bat shit crazy but are inevitably proven correct.

If you are a law enforcement agent and your former partner or mentor shows up, there are only 2 ways the story will end: They were corrupt and you have to arrest them or they are killed and you have to find the murderer.

 

10 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

There is also option 3 where your (usually retired) mentor needs your help with solving their white whale.  

Option 3 is usually coupled with Option 2.   Or Option 2 variant B: partner/mentor dies for reasons not related to the case (typically age and/or health related reasons).  But however they die, it falls on the living one to solve the case in their honor.

[Katy M]

14 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

I am still waiting for a never married aunt or uncle to will me a chunk of money with the stipulation that I spend the money on something fun or frivolous or to fulfill my wildest dream (because they never did).  Or for a grandparent to will me an inn, bakery, diner or cafe in a small town where I will meet my true love.  And there won’t be a cousin or sibling who contests the will, or at least harasses me because they are angry they weren’t left an equal inheritance.

A never married and never before heard of aunt or uncle.

[Ohiopirate02]

15 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

I am still waiting for a never married aunt or uncle to will me a chunk of money with the stipulation that I spend the money on something fun or frivolous or to fulfill my wildest dream (because they never did).  Or for a grandparent to will me an inn, bakery, diner or cafe in a small town where I will meet my true love.  And there won’t be a cousin or sibling who contests the will, or at least harasses me because they are angry they weren’t left an equal inheritance.

I may or may not have an aunt or uncle over in Scotland.   My grandfather was single during the war and apparently had a good time in Scotland.  He brought back some mementos.  One of his paramours was an ARP warden and I ended up with her pin.  He also kept a picture of a woman holding a baby with "Ellie, Scotland  1945" on the back.  We all have no idea who Ellie was and whether or not the baby is my grandfather's.   

[Hiyo]

Oh my God that definitely sounds like the start of a plotline to me! After this is corona virus stuff is over (fingers crossed for that), you need to get to Scotland asap and find out.

If you have a significant other, you must go without them. They will join you eventually, and your relationship will somehow be strengthened as you learn things about yourself and develop a new outlook on life while on your search, while the SO realizes how empty their life is with you gone.

And if you're single, you will naturally meet the love of your life while searching for the truth.

Also, the search for your potential uncle or aunt will naturally lead you to a charming village in the country side, no chance in hell they will be in one of Scotland's urban areas. No chance they or their kids will have ever left Scotland either.

[Ohiopirate02]

57 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

Oh my God that definitely sounds like the start of a plotline to me! After this is corona virus stuff is over (fingers crossed for that), you need to get to Scotland asap and find out.

If you have a significant other, you must go without them. They will join you eventually, and your relationship will somehow be strengthened as you learn things about yourself and develop a new outlook on life while on your search, while the SO realizes how empty their life is with you gone.

And if you're single, you will naturally meet the love of your life while searching for the truth.

Also, the search for your potential uncle or aunt will naturally lead you to a charming village in the country side, no chance in hell they will be in one of Scotland's urban areas. No chance they or their kids will have ever left Scotland either.

I do need to research this more.  The hard part was that my grandfather did not start talking about this until he was old enough not to remember specifics.  I also think that he was getting his ladies mixed up as he was telling of his youthful exploits.   

Getting back to the Hallmark version of this story, I do need to travel to The Highlands and meet my hunky, kilt-wearing future husband.   Given my age, he will be a widower with two little ones.  Over the course of my search I will discover that my late uncle tried to find his father, but was unable to locate him.  Poppa did move to another state when he returned.   Or, the hunky widower is my.late uncles solicitor who finally tracks me down in the States.  He was actually trying to find my late father.  We bond over discussing my family's history.   I'm not too enamored with this version because I would probably have to share the inheritance with my 3 siblings.   The rest of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are SOL though.  Unless my uncle was the Scottish Bill Gates.  

[Hiyo]

Quote

I'm not too enamored with this version because I would probably have to share the inheritance with my 3 siblings.   The rest of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are SOL though.  Unless my uncle was the Scottish Bill Gates.  

No need to worry, because PLOT TWIST the hunky kilt-wearing future husband is a secret stealth millionaire. You don't find out till you and he are are engaged (naturally, one of the quirky locals from the village will mention it to you matter-of-factly)...

Edited May 23, 2020 by Hiyo

[shapeshifter]

On 5/12/2020 at 7:44 PM, Stats Queen said:

On 5/11/2020 at 12:45 PM, Ohiopirate02 said:

Just  don't keep on calling Microfilm Microfiche.  

Thank you, microfilm and microfiche are two different things.

They are both microforms if you only want to remember one term. (I am a forced-into-early-retirement librarian who was the guru of the microfilm, both before and after it became possible to save as PDF.)

I don't think I've been on this thread before, but it is totally in my wheelhouse. My mother always used to refer to when I would be "rich and famous" for my portrait painting. Now that I'm retired I am making some extra bucks that way, but I think my mom missed the part of the biopics where the artists died penniless.

[merylinkid]

16 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

   I'm not too enamored with this version because I would probably have to share the inheritance with my 3 siblings.

Ahh but there will be A WILL that leaves everything to you and only you.   Your long lost siblings will be angry about this.   They want to turn the family home into a B & B tourist attraction which is opposeed by the charming locals.   Your siblings will team up together to force you to sign over THEIR inheritance.   One of them will go too far and try to kill you.   BUT, your true love will save you just in the nick of time.   Your dastardly siblings will be carted off to jail where they belong.   You will celebrate your saving and the end to the fight over THE WILL will all the locals at your home where you declare your intentions to live there forever with your true love.    Fade to black ....

[Jane Tuesday]

On 5/22/2020 at 2:18 PM, DoctorAtomic said:

I am very disappointed that when the limes rolled out of my bag at the grocery store today, no True Luv was to be found. 

I had a similar experience yesterday. I got my riding lawnmower stuck in the ditch in front of my house. Sadly no hot farmboy or falsely accused fugitive stopped to help me.

I've always dreamed of going to Ireland, but I fear it would be too anti-climactic when I don't stumble out of the rain into a cozy pub to find my soul mate crooning a traditional tune in Gaelic. 😄

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, merylinkid said:

Ahh but there will be A WILL that leaves everything to you and only you.   Your long lost siblings will be angry about this.   They want to turn the family home into a B & B tourist attraction which is opposeed by the charming locals.   Your siblings will team up together to force you to sign over THEIR inheritance.   One of them will go too far and try to kill you.   BUT, your true love will save you just in the nick of time.   Your dastardly siblings will be carted off to jail where they belong.   You will celebrate your saving and the end to the fight over THE WILL will all the locals at your home where you declare your intentions to live there forever with your true love.    Fade to black ....

Alternatively, the siblings do refurbish the family home, intending to turn it into a B&B, but then crash their helicopter (intended to fly in customers). One of the siblings survives but with a potentially fatal injury and is rescued by a handsome-but-poor-orphaned local man who shares his dream of opening a home for those who cannot live entirely independently (he has an also-orphaned disabled sibling). The B&B instead becomes such a home, which you lovingly manage from your sunny cottage on the property. One of the residents has a sibling who is your soul mate...

 

1 hour ago, Jane Tuesday said:

I had a similar experience yesterday. I got my riding lawnmower stuck in the ditch in front of my house. Sadly no hot farmboy or falsely accused fugitive stopped to help me.

In the 1970s while house-sitting my parents' Chicago suburban home, I got the car stuck in a snow drift. A boy (now man) who I'd had a crush on in the fifth grade when he brought his guitar to class and sang a folk song, stopped his car, took a shovel and kitty litter out of his trunk, dug me out, and drove away. Since it was not a Lifetime TV event, I never spoke to him then or ever.

[Blergh]

17 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

 

 

In the 1970s while house-sitting my parents' Chicago suburban home, I got the car stuck in a snow drift. A boy (now man) who I'd had a crush on in the fifth grade when he brought his guitar to class and sang a folk song, stopped his car, took a shovel and kitty litter out of his trunk, dug me out, and drove away. Since it was not a Lifetime TV event, I never spoke to him then or ever.

Actually, it sounds as though it COULD be a good TV movie with a girl getting enthralled by a one-time platonic encounter with someone who'd dug her out who then casually said he'd be back there the same time next year- then she'd keep coming back there every year waiting for him  (or her) to return until she got old -only to finally find out her would be flame had had their life end   in an accident shortly after digging her out. 

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, Blergh said:

Actually, it sounds as though it COULD be a good TV movie with a girl getting enthralled by a one-time platonic encounter with someone who'd dug her out who then casually said he'd be back there the same time next year- then she'd keep coming back there every year waiting for him  (or her) to return until she got old -only to finally find out her would be flame had had their life end   in an accident shortly after digging her out. 

Not enough emojis for me to react to that one! 😁 😨🤣🙄🤔

None of those happened IRL (I did some cyber-stalking 😉), but my parents sold the house in the mid 1980s, and eventually the mother of the house and I became co-workers at a college 20 miles away when I moved back to Illinois after living in California for 20 years. We discovered the shared address through a very un-TV-moment happenstance: I was listening to NPR during a fundraiser in which they announce donors and their towns right before she and I had a meeting together to plan my library instruction for her class.

There really should be more fictional librarians in TV shows; I don't think today's writers realize they still exist, or else they have no idea what they do. Back in 2001 when I took the job at the college, all 5 or 6 eligible bachelor professors approached me in the stacks or my office, heh. I have not dated in over 30 years, but it would be a goldmine for romance, drama, intrigue, etc.  

 

Edited May 24, 2020 by shapeshifter

[auntlada]

4 hours ago, Blergh said:

Actually, it sounds as though it COULD be a good TV movie with a girl getting enthralled by a one-time platonic encounter with someone who'd dug her out who then casually said he'd be back there the same time next year- then she'd keep coming back there every year waiting for him  (or her) to return until she got old -only to finally find out her would be flame had had their life end   in an accident shortly after digging her out. 

I thought I'd seen a similar plot somewhere and then remembered:

Spoiler

The Lake House.

 

[janie jones]

8 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

In the 1970s while house-sitting my parents' Chicago suburban home, I got the car stuck in a snow drift. A boy (now man) who I'd had a crush on in the fifth grade when he brought his guitar to class and sang a folk song, stopped his car, took a shovel and kitty litter out of his trunk, dug me out, and drove away. Since it was not a Lifetime TV event, I never spoke to him then or ever.

Wait, you didn't talk to him then?  He just wordlessly did all that, and neither of you said anything to the other?

[ABay]

That's how Rose and Bernard met on Lost! Without the kitty litter, though.

I didn't remove the jumper cables, shovel, and blanket from my trunk until several years of moving here.

Edited May 25, 2020 by ABay

[DrSpaceman73]

Having seen the results of my 95 real old grandmother dying and the 5 kids, including my dad, fighting over the will with lots of land and money involved, nothing they show on TV is too out of whack with that really happens.  Even with kids who have no major issues with one another, just those who have drifted apart over the years. 

OK so no one ever had to stay in the house for a night to inherit it.  Everything else though is fair game.

Two of them almost got into a fistfight over my grandpa's old tractor. 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, janie jones said:

Wait, you didn't talk to him then?  He just wordlessly did all that, and neither of you said anything to the other?

It's often too cold to talk outside in the winter in the northern suburbs of Chicago, but I guess I reverted into my boy-shy 5th-grade self. 😊
If it was a Lifetime movie, he would've taken his guitar out of his back seat, and we would have sung Christmas carols on the hood of the car. Probably wearing just t-shirts and scarves and jeans.

[DoctorAtomic]

Some sure as hell had better be wearing a jaunty hat. 

[ratgirlagogo]

14 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

There really should be more fictional librarians in TV shows; I don't think today's writers realize they still exist, or else they have no idea what they do.

As a retired librarian, I agree (ESPECIALLY about the dating opportunities) but I don't think yesterday's writers had any better idea.  Did you spend most of your time shusshing people? Were you the kind of brittle female anthrophobe we all saw in The Music Man or It's A Wonderful Life?