S09.E09: The Longest Labor

[Kyanight]

6 minutes ago, purpleyoshi said:

My dad freaked out if I nursed in front of him, he would not be anywhere near the room it was happening in.

Ditto.  All of the males in my family were Neanderthals.  I was VERY discreet when I nursed my kids, but I had to go to another room to do it when we had family get-togethers.  Ridiculous.  But I didn't feel like making a scene on holidays.  And to be honest - (about the labor) I really wouldn't want all of those people staring at my crotch - baby being birthed or not!!  lol

Edited March 12, 2018 by Kyanight

[bichonblitz]

Having ring side seats in the bathroom watching Maddie was just too much for me. Caleb needs to put his foot down with his wife's polyg family. He didn't sign up for this shit, he's not polyg, he needs to get his wife and kid the hell out of that house and live their life!

[Chicklet]

I wasn't a lady with bad menstrual cramps so yea no, yelling obscenities during labor doesn't seem so bad to me. Shrug.

[ghoulina]

9 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

I wonder if Victoria told Kody they have six weddings a year there. He seemed convinced that they could sell six weddings at $5000 a pop and that would pay the mortgage for the year. Of course he ignores the fact that for that $5000 they will have to provide more than just the space and three bedrooms. Food, decorations, coordinator, rooms for the weekend, possibly cake and flowers. Plus they would need to invest in some serious advertising to bring in that amount of business; Parowan has only so many people who would want to get married there. But I guess that now that he has married off two daughters and he has been married four times himself, he is a wedding expert and knows how to run a wedding business.

I'm just thinking - how many people want a destination wedding in Parowan, Utah? Or is their population big enough to sustain five weddings a year just from the locals? 

 

2 hours ago, ThinkerBell said:

I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Christine. She is the most enthusiastic of the wives, and the kids seem to truly adore her and want her front and centre at all of their milestone events. Even Janelle commented that Maddie needed to have Christine with her during labour and for the birth. Christine really impressed me how supportive, loving, and involved she was with Maddie during the long painful hours of labour. I get the sense she's like that with all of the kids.

I know Christine is a dingbat, but I can't help but like her. She just seems like a genuinely good-hearted person. I love that she truly IS close with all the kids. And I especially liked that Jenelle acknowledged all Christine did for her kids growing up. 

 

7 minutes ago, purpleyoshi said:

I remember my friend telling me, “No one gets a medal for best birth.” Why would you torture yourself like that? I felt so bad for her. And I would’ve been pissed if my midwife knew I was having contractions and was an hour away. It ended up being ok, but sometimes things go very quick at the end.

My dad freaked out if I nursed in front of him, he would not be anywhere near the room it was happening in.

Some women don't see it as torture. While it's very painful in the moment, there is almost this euphoria that happens right after pushing the baby out. And it's so nice to be able to just relax in your own bed after, have everyone there for help you. I don't think Maddie chose this to punish herself. Many many women choose home births, no just the religious, and they love it. 

It didn't appear that she was in active labor for several of those days. I believe her frustration was more about impatience than any kind of discomfort. 

I don't think it's that abnormal for a midwife to not rush right over. They've been through this many times over, and know how long things can take. The assistant was there, as were plenty of people who've had and assisted home births before. I don't know....maybe I'm weird, but I don't think birth is this big, medical process that needs to be so scary. Maddie's birth seemed totally normal to me. 

[AZChristian]

6 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I'm just thinking - how many people want a destination wedding in Parowan, Utah? Or is their population big enough to sustain five weddings a year just from the locals? 

Parowan has just about 3,000 people.  They are mostly Mormon.  Their first choice for a wedding would be a temple.  The nearest temple is in St. George, about an hour's drive away.  

I'm thinking they're more likely to get people who watch the show than they are to get locals for weddings.  And locals wouldn't need hotel rooms anyway.

#anotherpoorbrownbusinessidea

[DakotaJustice]

Last year right before the birth, Maddie was working for Meri and popped up in the background during her live sales, pushing wheeled racks of clothes around. After the birth (and presumably after getting a TLC bonus check) Maddie decided to start selling LLR herself and a few months later the couple moved out of Janelle's house and into a rental house. 

1 minute ago, AZChristian said:

Parowan has just about 3,000 people.  They are mostly Mormon.  Their first choice for a wedding would be a temple.  The nearest temple is in St. George, about an hour's drive away.  

I'm thinking they're more likely to get people who watch the show than they are to get locals for weddings.  And locals wouldn't need hotel rooms anyway.

#anotherpoorbrownbusinessidea

Based on previous reviews from when it was Victoria's B&B at least a portion of the clientele were out of towners visiting local family. 

[bichonblitz]

I'm curious about Meri's mom. Why is she alone? Wasn't she in a plural marriage? 

[Onceafan]

What can one say about Meri? Nancy really needs to work with her on her victim mentality. 

When a person blames all of their problems on the unfairness of others, constantly voices oppression and drains emotional support to the point that others do not want to be around her, this is textbook victim mentality.

Look at the birth last night. It was a new experience for everyone, and the adults were trying to figure out how and where they could be helpful and their involvement in all of it. Take the newest wife, Robyn. She approached Maddie. She gave her tips with squatting. She didn't know how Janelle would react to her involvement, but she put in effort to be there, to show concern. You could see she and others, were waiting for Maddie to tell them when to leave. They had to put in real effort, to find their role in the birth.

Now Meri's actions were different. Some of what she displays could be explained by a person being introverted, and shy, but since we all know that really isn't Meri, when it involves the family, I'm taking those rational explanations out of my discussion.

Meri doesn't approach Maddie. She gets updates by text messages, and doesn't make an effort to find a role. She stops by to check in, but you can see that this "can be very determined" woman doesn't make an effort to do anything, even if it is just supporting the others, by getting food, or anything they need. She just detaches.

Now next week she will go into victim mentality of why she wasn't at the birth and everyone else was. I hope that Nancy encourages the other women, to discuss how draining it is to be constantly told by Meri that they are the problem in Meri's woes. 

[DakotaJustice]

25 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

I'm curious about Meri's mom. Why is she alone? Wasn't she in a plural marriage? 

Meri's dad died, apparently all the concubines he had went their separate ways. 

Meri's sister Rebekah and her husband and kids were living with her for awhile. Rebekah also sells LLR. 

I saw the realtor photos of Meri's mom's house. Looks likes the kids were sleeping on mattresses on the floor.

Last year Rebekah and family moved to the cave houses. I'm guessing they live a polygamy lifestyle too, but not sure. 

Just like when Kody's dad died, the wives didn't stay together. 

[Granny58]

1 hour ago, purpleyoshi said:

I remember my friend telling me, “No one gets a medal for best birth.” Why would you torture yourself like that?

LOL  absolutely!   My son came at 34 weeks and so was only a peanut, 5 pounds 10 ounces.  However, because my body didn't have the time to prepare I found even that excruciating and ended up with a tear and TWO epidurals ...and was so grateful.  

[bichonblitz]

17 minutes ago, lma said:

Christine’s got it good right now. Of course she’s happy and supportive of all the wives. This is the first time she’s ever been this close to being the number one seed. (Which, again BTW, I don’t think she will ever reach that coveted number one spot. Like ever.)

I noticed that when Kody was at her house packing for the trip with Meri, Christine told him she loved him and kissed him twice. On camera! That is definitely a new Christine. She's happy as a pig in shit right now. It won't last of course. Then when Kody went to Janelle's to pack more stuff, He told her goodbye and he loved her, kissed her on the head and she didn't even get out of her chair or say anything. This family cracks me up! It's like little kids playing house. 

[bichonblitz]

10 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

I wonder if Victoria told Kody they have six weddings a year there.

Why doesn't Kody just ask to see the books so he can really see if it makes financial sense.  I wouldn't trust Victoria. She wants to sell the house, she will say anything and the ass kissing was at an all time high. I don't trust the lady. Do these people have a financial planner or a realtor representing them? Oh, never mind. It's the Brown's. Common sense does not prevail in this family. 

[Granny58]

I didn't find Victoria charming at all.  I found her annoying  OTOH, I'm not a B&B type, so maybe this sells the experience for those who like owner involvement in your life. 

[laurakaye]

12 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

also, I think Meri paid for her haunted house by having her mom sell her place and put money towards it from the sale. 

 

I literally have no earthly clue why this wasn't the plan all along.  Why would Meri's mom need two houses?  Why would Meri ask her mostly estranged family to fund the B&B in the first place if her mom had a house to sell?  Gahhhhh!  I don't get it.

 

10 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

LOL that Kody brought an audio book for the car ride to avoid talking to Meri.

Hopefully it was "War and Peace."  LOLZ.

 

4 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

Yes! It's great how Meri is so 'respectful of maddie's wishes' and just 'aw-shucks' shrugs her way around the foyer then leaves, but how about actually doing something useful for a change? Maybe tidy up the wrecked living room or kitchen? Start a breakfast casserole for the morning? Reassure some of the kids? Fuck you, Meri! You selfish, self-centered jerk. Go home to your wet bar. 

 

+++++++++++++++++1.  I haven't seen the episode yet but I can absolutely see Meri doing her very best passive-aggressive act...sulking around the house, no one noticing or caring or acknowledging her, and Meri being all - "well, Maddie doesn't need me so I'll just go."  I'm sure the mood lightened considerably for all of the spectators when she finally left.  But so freaking true that she could've made herself useful by making food or something.  She is just the worst.

Edited March 12, 2018 by laurakaye

[ChicksDigScars]

14 hours ago, LucyEth said:

Yes, but apparently she is upset that the other wives/Moms were there and she was not.

Shit, I WAS upset that the other wives were in there, with the exception of Janelle. Not to mention assorted teenage sisters and step sisters and Kodouche.  I kicked my parents out of the BUILDING, let alone the delivery room. I told them to get their asses to work and I'd call them. Last thing I wanted was parental hovering. 

Points to Meri for pointing out that while it was cool that the four wives are going to be called different names for "Grandma," that it's Janelle that gets to hold the actual title and name, if she wants it.  I thought that was considerate TO Janelle, especially coming from someone who claims that Meri treats her like shit.  And as far as Meri not being there, wasn't she the wife who provided Madison with breast milk, as she was a "failure to thrive" infant? I can see her being a little torked off. Not so much at Christine's presense, because they all acknowledge that while the others worked, Christine was the stay at home and watch the kids, mom. But, why was RoboChin included in the spectator gallery?  Because she's Legal Wife Queen Bee and can insinuate herself where ever she wants to?  Her ass should have been on the couch, keeping her daughter from pressing her ears against the door. 

I prefer "Nonna." Shout out to my fellow Italians. 

Edited March 12, 2018 by ChicksDigScars

[bichonblitz]

4 minutes ago, ChicksDigScars said:

Points to Meri for pointing out that while it was cool that the four wives are going to be called different names for "Grandma," that it's Janelle that gets to hold the actual title and name, if she wants it. 

Ummmm don't all the kids call the other wives that are not the birth mom's by their first names? Why should it be any different with grandkids? Idiots.  I know I'm posting a lot today but the stupidity of this episode has my blood boiling!

[Normades]

I thought it was ridiculous the way Meri, Mariah, and Audrey walked into that house.  They burst through the doors like they expected everyone to greet them and seemed disappointed that everyone was busy.  I like Mariah more lately, but she is Meri's daughter and you can see flashes of it sometimes.  I hope she continues to grow out of it.  As others have said, Meri could start working toward repairing her relationships if it were important to her.  She could have done something to help during the birth and she could help with other things throughout the regular weeks.  She's not the busy Fortune 500 businesswoman she wants everyone to believe she is.  Robyn is raising young kids and still trying to shill her goods online, too.  Of course, Meri can't be bothered to help anyone else or even take responsibility for what she has done.  She just needs a new house and they need to pony up the $$ for it!!

[LucyEth]

1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

Just like when Kody's dad died, the wives didn't stay together.

I wondered about this, when he first died, Kody's mom and Janelle's mom were going to stay together.  I remember the episode when they went to visit them, now it seems Janelle's mom is living with Janelle.

Edited March 12, 2018 by LucyEth

[Barb23]

10 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

This is 100% what I was thinking. I kinda blame TLC too though...they wanted to market this as "the longest labor ever".

 

Ha ha ha! My God, yes...WTF were they thinking? Hey everybody, pull up a chair! Get your popcorn ready! What a bunch of idiots.

Poor Maddie, she only had folding chairs.  Didn't Robin's family get to sit on dining room chairs in her bedroom during her last birth?

I was tired of hearing the wives explaining this was how sister wives do childbirth (having a home birth or having a crowd at the birth.)  Well Maddie isn't a sister wife & doesn't have a pleural marriage. I understand she is part of a polygamist family but she is a Daughter of sister wives, not another one of them.  

This had me thinking about them saying sister wives deliver at home because the fear of putting father's name on birth certificate or something like that.  Aren't all babies supposed to have a birth certificate or record of birth no matter where they are born?  How  does putting the (polygamous) father's name on a child's birth certificate born at a hospital cause any problems? Is there something special on the forms (to get a birth certificate)  for a hospital birth that isn't the same for a home birth?   Isn't this the same thing as one father having children with different mothers? Sorry for all my questions -- I  just don't understand all the hoopla.

8 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

I saw that, and thought WTH is THAT???? A mop head? A wig? We may never know....

When I was reading all the posts about Janelle's cluttered bathroom, I started thinking about my own...but once I saw it, I was like oh hell, I can't hold a candle to Janelle! :-) Mine could use some organizing but I'm definitely nowhere near that level! 

I agree. What was with the large stainless steel cabinet on one side of the bathroom?  It looked like a refrigerator when they first showed the room.  It's one thing having a nice cabinet for storage but this one looked like it belonged in the garage.

ETA - I'm thinking now it may have been the shower.  It could have been a bad camera angle but it looked like solid stainless steel (no glass) to me. 

I can't say this enough - doesn't Kody own a hair brush and/or conditioner?  

[ChicksDigScars]

8 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Ummmm don't all the kids call the other wives that are not the birth mom's by their first names? Why should it be any different with grandkids? Idiots.  I know I'm posting a lot today but the stupidity of this episode has my blood boiling!

Because the other wives were staking claims to ethnic names for "Grandma" before Janelle said anything (and then in typical Janelle fashion, was a wet blanket about it).  I actually agree that she should have first call on what name Axel uses. And Christine gets first dibs on whatever Mykelti and Tony's future kid (pause to swallow vomit rising in my throat at the prospect of a FT controlled birthing episode in a bathtub) calls the moms.  I know it's not cool to give Meri credit for ANYTHING, but I thought that she was right on this one. Let Janelle decide what she wants, and THEN let the others pick.  But Oma and Bubby jumped right in and staked their claims, first. 

 

You just know Axel is going to be calling Meri, "Lula."  If they talk about LLR enough with Meri's name attached to it, the kid is picking up on that quicker than shit. 

[Kyanight]

37 minutes ago, ChicksDigScars said:

But, why was RoboChin included in the spectator gallery?  Because she's Legal Wife Queen Bee and can insinuate herself where ever she wants to?  Her ass should have been on the couch, keeping her daughter from pressing her ears against the door. 

lol.   But true - why WAS she in there?  Just because you've pushed out a lot of babies yourself doesn't mean that automatically qualifies you to sit on a folding chair and stare at a laboring woman for hours on end.

[VedaPierce]

41 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

I literall have no earthly clue why this wasn't the plan all along.  Why would Meri's mom need two houses?  Why would Meri ask her mostly estranged family to fund the B&B in the first place if her mom had a house to sell?  Gahhhhh!  I don't get it.

 

Hopefully it was "War and Peace."  LOLZ.

 

+++++++++++++++++1.  I haven't seen the episode yet but I can absolutely see Meri doing her very best passive-aggressive act...sulking around the house, no one noticing or caring or acknowledging her, and Meri being all - "well, Maddie doesn't need me so I'll just go."  I'm sure the mood lightened considerably for all of the spectators when she finally left.  But so freaking true that she could've made herself useful by making food or something.  She is just the worst.

I think Meri is seeing tons of cash being doled out to everybody but her--the weddings, the showers, the surgeries, just the day-to-day needs that families with many kids have, and she wants in on it. So she took a risk and shoved her open-palmed hand into the mix. Sorry Meri, this is the life you chose. You gotta know that adding people to your fambly means more crap gets divided. That's how it works.    

[Kyanight]

3 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

I think Meri is seeing tons of cash being doled out to everybody but her--the weddings, the showers, the surgeries, just the day-to-day needs that families with many kids have, and she wants in on it. So she took a risk and shoved her open-palmed hand into the mix. Sorry Meri, this is the life you chose. You gotta know that adding people to your fambly means more crap gets divided. That's how it works.    

Doesn't matter.  They gave her the money she needed, anyway.

[Maricopa]

4 hours ago, Momof2boyz said:

14 hours ago, answerphone said:

Is there a forum for the new show, Three Wives, One Husband?

If there is, I can't find it.

I submitted a request for this!  I would really like to discuss this show.  It is actually only a 4 part series, and was originally a documentary that aired on British TV last year.  I actually thought is was very good and realistic- not typical "reality TV" trash.  Creepy, but realistic.

I just watched an episode. OMG. I spent a week in St George UT at a spa and encountered similar people. Went horseback riding in an external outing with a group led by two young girls who were clearly being sexually abused by their grandfather -- who owned the stable. One of them desperately wanted to be an astronomer, but had no idea how to get there, and had already been forced to drop out of school. Can you imagine being a CPS social worker in Utah?

My point is, these poor women don't know there is any other way to live, and even for those who have an inkling, they don't have the educational or financial resources to get into another state or go to school. It was also interesting to see such a show made by Brits, as they are far more removed from something with which most Americans have some familiarity. 

[ChicksDigScars]

13 hours ago, Christi said:

Is there no forum for Three Wives One Husband?  I cant search this site the way I used to be able to...and I need to vent...my skin is literally crawling off..omg?

Jesus Christ...Kody wins Best Plyg Husband award again...these people are fucking nuts???

I don't know what they're using for shampoo and conditioner out there at the Rock, but the Enoch wives have the greatest hair. 

[Kyanight]

Just now, ChicksDigScars said:

I don't know what they're using for shampoo and conditioner out there at the Rock, but the Enoch wives have the greatest hair. 

Those are some beautiful women.  The men?  Uh...... yeah...... okay..........         It's just like Lydia said.  She didn't find Enoch attractive - but liked his kindness and humor and quick mind.  But his WIVES were absolutely beautiful.

[Angeltoes]

Quote

You just know Axel is going to be calling Meri, "Lula."

Lol, that's actually kind of cute and certainly unique.

Quote

Well, Kody did talk about Robyn giving birth and liking the fact that "she was a lady" and didn't make all of those disturbing screams and such.  It was her mother who taught her that a "lady" doesn't upset or disturb others during her giving birth...

I gave birth at the hospital where my mother worked.  She was so concerned that I might make a scene that would embarrass her, that she said to me in the middle of my worst labor,"Oh, it doesn't hurt that bad."  My sister, God bless her, threw my mother out of the room.

[Tabbygirl521]

6 hours ago, ava111 said:

Didn't read the comments yet as I'm just starting to watch this episode but at 14 minutes Kody says that the new law "will sent more polygamy running into shadows and hiding.  In the darkness evil things are easier to do".  So did he just say polygamy is evil??? LOL

No, he meant that the Warren Jeffs of the world will go more underground and abuse can be more easily hidden. 

I also get where he’s coming from about financing the B&B but how mean to get Meri’s hopes up about everything (!) by talking about how magical the house was (WTF, BTW)? That was indeed being a clarifying ass.

Criminy, poor Maddie! On top of the pain, I kept thinking that she had to keep climbing in and out of a wet swimsuit as she moved from tub to bed. That alone would have had me limiting my audience. 

Edited March 12, 2018 by Tabbygirl521

[Roslyn]

9 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

I gave birth at the hospital where my mother worked.  She was so concerned that I might make a scene that would embarrass her, that she said to me in the middle of my worst labor,"Oh, it doesn't hurt that bad."  My sister, God bless her, threw my mother out of the room.

With my first pregnancy I was NOT prepared one little bit.  I was especially not mentally prepared.  Because of insurance reasons I had to switch doctors at what was supposed to be my 6/7th month.  The original doctor who determined I was pregnant had estimated my due date very very wrong and put it at mid October.  I was studious and was reading a book on what was going on inside me week by week etc and I was up to around month 8, at the end of July I started having a "I can't stop peeing" issue.  We call the doctor and after describing all that was going on with me (and then listening to the laughter from the nurse over the phone) she told me "oh hunny...you are in LABOR!"  Well...I knew I wasn't due for a long while so we ended up at the ER.  I insisted I wasn't due, but the nurse wasn't having it.  After a emergency sonogram to determine that yes, I had a full term pregnancy and the due date was obviously wrong, the nurse (who had zero sense of humor) informed us that I was having the baby...now. 

The only thing that popped into my head as I looked at my husband in horror....was....I haven't read that chapter in my book yet!!!

I had had zero giving birth prep.  Lots of experience growing up on a farm and all, but nothing human.  The nurse that took over gave me the best giving birth training.  Breath in through your nose, breath out through your mouth and scream if you need to.  Well.  That's exactly what I did and in the middle of that night I had me a baby boy. :)

[Chris Knight]

I would be afraid to be the only guest in that creepy B&B. Like a horror movie. I Googled the address and the street view shows 2 people doing yard work on the front. One is bent over with their rear end smack in the middle of the shot lol. And the one Yelp review sounds suspiciously like it was written by Robyn. Or maybe Christine. Def not Janelle...

[Delete]

I have nothing but respect for women who birth babies with no pain meds. I had an endometrial biopsy last week, and it took me three days to recover from the pain. 

On another note, I’m disturbed by Janelles’s lack of cleanliness. Why doesn’t she STRIVE to houseclean? It burns calories, and she’d have a nice clean uncluttered place to live. What does this woman do all day?

Edited March 12, 2018 by Ravenna

[Celia Rubenstein]

I really don't understand why Kody felt the need to appear all enchanted while he was at the Parowan house then take such a dump on things when they got back home. It was kind of cruel. He was totally conscious of doing it, too. What the hell?

Meri clearly thought she had managed to win him over and it was all she could do to not twist her mustache and smirk at the camera. It's hard to feel sorry for her. But he was flip flopping about things when they were talking with the other wives so badly he looked like an ass.

It was like he wanted everyone to know he was against buying the house, but if Meri did buy it on her own, here is how she had to run it.

Kody, if you're not willing to take responsibility for buying the place, keep your stinking about how to operate it to yourself!

I still can't believe his original response to the whole Parowan thing was to buy the lot across from the family's historical home and build a bed-and-breakfast out in the middle of fucking nowhere from scratch. The guy is a MORON.

[Galloway Cave]

I wonder if Nancy the Therapist watches the show and sees how Meri REALLY treats the other adults and behaves, even if the show is somewhat scripted. If Meri is pissed she wasn't included in the birthing, there is plenty of tape to show otherwise. If production wanted her excluded, Meri and/or Maddie could have overridden production. Or Meri could have just stayed and and made herself useful, as others have suggested.

OK, after a season-long investigation, here is my final report. I bet Victoria has been wanting to unload the B&B for a while. I think Victoria found out the familial connection of the house, called Meri and offered to sell the place to her ("what a deal for you! A Brown Family Business! And you can have your house back!"). Meri checked the place out before the cameras rolled and fell hook, line and sinker (as she is wont to do). Meri KNEW there was no way in hell the other Browns would fund that house, especially with the way they hated her for....everything, so she asked her mom to sell her house for the down and move there. When TLC was told about the situation they had to make a convoluted mess out of it to make a season-long storyline and also create some draaama. Throw in the red herring of Annie and bingo! Storyline #3 of the season.

[Tabbygirl521]

4 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

If Meri was capable this whole time of purchasing the house on her own, why did even ask the family for help? They have zero connection to that place. Dick move. 

I don’t know. They are all supposed to be one big happy family and in fact, some of them do share some ancestry. Meri just wants someone to CARE and to feel connected. Her family = their family: the ancestors of everyone’s kids’ half-sister Mariah. And given that she has been so solitary, I can understand her having a particularly strong pull toward her ancestral home. The others have much larger family lives than she can ever hope to have  

I know they all hate how she behaved when catfished but according to them, they are family for life so shouldn’t they ALL be trying to forgive and find ways to help her? 

i realize I am one of the few who has any sympathy for Meri. I just can’t get past how she had to watch her beloved husband move on to THREE subsequent women. As each one arrived and was the shiny new love object, she (the new wife) certainly had no impetus to help keep Meri involved and happy. That was Kody’s job. 

And she has spent the past 20+ years watching him celebrate milestones with everyone but her. She can’t even enjoy her single child’s joy of meeting Audrey because Kody struggles with accepting the gay (I do think he is trying, though). So they can’t celebrate that together. 

Now she is watching a whole new cycle of his OTHER kids getting married and reproducing. What hell. 

I think she never felt secure enough to insist on maintaining her status in the marriage, and/or didn’t know how, without Kody’s participation.  We have seen them on TV for so long that it’s easy to forget that their early lives were in a bubble. Meri grew up in the tradition of kowtowing to the man. Now she has had exposure to the world and sees that not all women do that, but she is still figuring out how to cope. She hasn’t quite figured out that she can save herself and needn’t find another man to whisk her away.

And of course she isn’t the only woman in the world who desperately loves someone who doesn’t love her. I fault Kody big-time for letting things get so bad. His vows required him to sustain a strong, loving, protective relationship with her no matter how many other bright shiny objects catch his attention. 

She has no leverage and the best she can figure out to do is emotionally manipulate. I can understand this. 

And finally, regarding her cul-de-sac house, she did not have the option of choosing a small house. Someone savvier than I explained upthread that the houses needed to meeting certain specs including size.

4 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Wouldn't you be scared that the baby might have been stillborn?  Or something went tragically wrong?  I mean - come on!  A polygamy family means LOTS of people and lots of noise and chaos.  You walk in and hear - NOTHING - and you just shrug and say "oh well.  Let's go home and have a banana".???

THANK YOU for bringing this up!  That bothered me a bit, too.  Hasn't anyone been reading about how newborns have died because someone with a cold sore kissed them?  We live in a weird antibiotic resistant world these days.  

I thought the baby looked a lot older than fresh out of the womb when he was being passed around. I wonder if that was all re-enacted. 

Edited March 12, 2018 by Tabbygirl521

[Gothish520]

6 hours ago, ThinkerBell said:

I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Christine. She is the most enthusiastic of the wives, and the kids seem to truly adore her and want her front and centre at all of their milestone events. Even Janelle commented that Maddie needed to have Christine with her during labour and for the birth. Christine really impressed me how supportive, loving, and involved she was with Maddie during the long painful hours of labour. I get the sense she's like that with all of the kids.

Ditto, I love Christine. She gets a bit too loud and excited sometimes, but that's ok, it's her thing, lol. I like people who like to have fun. But I can appreciate Janelle because she is a thinker and I believe we could have some good philisophical discussions. Robyn is sensible and progressive on cultural issues, and she likes to shop and I'm all about that so let's go shopping and go to lunch, lol.

Meri? Ugh - as I said before, I've been there, done that with friends. It's all about them and what they want. I think the show has made it clear that she has been distant and controlling from day one. I have a hard time with people who are too guarded - you just never know where you stand with them. You can't get a straight answer or an honest opinion from them, unless it's about what they want and how you've failed them.

[Palomar]

3 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

And of course she isn’t the only woman in the world who desperately loves someone who doesn’t love her. I fault Kody big-time for letting things get so bad. His vows required him to sustain a strong, loving, protective relationship with her no matter how many other bright shiny objects catch his attention. 

 

Not sure how much she loves him since she was more than willing to have an affair and run off with her dream man and just abandon the family.  Who knows how long they had problems but she agreed to this lifestyle and continues to stick around.  A lot of her selfishness comes from being jealous of the other wives having Kody in their lives more because of the other 3 having large families. She figures since she has less of Kody she should be compensated. 

[Kyanight]

13 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

And of course she isn’t the only woman in the world who desperately loves someone who doesn’t love her. I fault Kody big-time for letting things get so bad.

I'm with you on having sympathy for Meri.  But I don't believe for a minute that she desperately loves Kody.  I think she is over him.

7 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

Ditto, I love Christine. She gets a bit too loud and excited sometimes, but that's ok, it's her thing, lol. I like people who like to have fun. But I can appreciate Janelle because she is a thinker and I believe we could have some good philisophical discussions.

I like them both.

[Tabbygirl521]

24 minutes ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

(Snip)

I still can't believe his original response to the whole Parowan thing was to buy the lot across from the family's historical home and build a bed-and-breakfast out in the middle of fucking nowhere from scratch. The guy is a MORON.

I just realized this is exactly how he has been expecting her to live in general: you sit over here, Meri, and watch from afar the life you REALLY want. 

[Granny58]

11 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

25 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

And of course she isn’t the only woman in the world who desperately loves someone who doesn’t love her. I fault Kody big-time for letting things get so bad.

I'm with you on having sympathy for Meri.  But I don't believe for a minute that she desperately loves Kody.  I think she is over him.

Yes, I have sympathy for her too.  I don't think she loves Kody now, but she did...big time.   And they appeared to be close in the past.  This has gotta hurt.  All her machinations and manipulations (the "will I do in vitro or not" storyline for example) I am convinced are for his attention.  Polygamy has to suck for the first wife.  The subsequent wives know what the dill is.

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, TeeMo said:

Exactly. Meri could have offered to bring back dinner after she picked Mariah up at the airport. We saw that things got real around dinner time because Caleb said that they decided to order dinner. Meri kept talking about wanting to be helpful but not wanting to be in the way. With everyone else staying close to the house, offering to pick up dinner or anything else they all may have needed would have been the perfect way to "not be in the way" but still be supportive. 

I know that Meri feels like she is in a weird spot with the family these days (all of her own doing) but Maddie works for her "business" so you think that part of the situation would have made her feel more connected to what is going on. Regardless of her relationship with Kody or Janelle or the rest of the family these days she must have a decent enough relationship with Maddie for them to work together comfortably. Put aside your discomfort with everyone else and do something nice and helpful for Maddie, Meri. But no, Meri can't think of anything or anyone but herself. It is really remarkable. 

Is it me, or does it seem like Meri never really says anything nice about any family member except her own biological daughter, and maybe Solomon? It seems all the other parents wax poetic about the kids and even the other adults to a certain extent, but I can't remember the last time Meri said something nice about other family members or talked about how close she feels to any of them. 

[Kyanight]

Just now, Granny58 said:

Yes, I have sympathy for her too.  I don't think she loves Kody now, but she did...big time.   And they appeared to be close in the past.  This has gotta hurt.  All her machinations and manipulations (the "will I do in vitro or not" storyline for example) I am convinced are for his attention.  Polygamy has to suck for the first wife.  The subsequent wives know what the dill is.

Granny, did you watch 3 wives and 1 husband last night?  It was really weird (and very sad!) to hear the 2nd and 3rd wives talk about their experiences.  This BEAUTIFUL wife showed off her wedding pictures and said she sometimes gets sad because she cannot believe that he can love her as much as he loves women he has been together with for 12 years.  I think if a woman loves her husband - polygamy just sucks.  Period.   

[Tabbygirl521]

15 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Not sure how much she loves him since she was more than willing to have an affair and run off with her dream man and just abandon the family.  Who knows how long they had problems but she agreed to this lifestyle and continues to stick around.  A lot of her selfishness comes from being jealous of the other wives having Kody in their lives more because of the other 3 having large families. She figures since she has less of Kody she should be compensated. 

I think desperately lonely people can do desperate things. 

I certainly don’t think she is flawless or without blame. But at least she urges therapy, which the others are disdainful of. She definitely could use some insight and own her part in this mess. But I can still understand how she got this way. 

You’re right, she did agree to this but so did Kody and I really think he has done wrong by Meri since Jenelle, her own SIL for crying out loud, came into the picture. 

A normal couple might have realized ages ago that they are ill-suited but this is all dressed up in Kody’s being the key to eternal life for Meri. I just realized that maybe she thinks a new husband could somehow save her and so maybe that’s why she was willing to risk it all for “Sam.” At least in the regular LDS there is divorce and some sort of mechanism for salvation. Maybe she thought “Sam” could convert and be a savior. I don’t actually know how it works but I do know my brother converted to LDS and he is on his third marriage, with a previously married woman, and they are both in good standing with the church. I could ask him but nah. 

[Delete]

29 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

Janelle because she is a thinker and I believe we could have some good philisophical discussions.

Really? I don't get deep thinker when it comes to Janelle. She's comes across rather simple-minded, bland, and slug-like. She's my least favourite housewife because she contributes so little to the mix. Meri is a pain in da butt, but at least she has a pulse, plus I'm mesmerized by those painted on brows. Robyn is meh. She worked the womb, and pretended to be sweet with Meri until she became head wife numero uno. It takes some stealth manipulative moves to do that. And Christine is probably the most fun, and likeable wife even tho she is dumber than a box of rocks. I'd still like to hang with her because she'd be entertaining and get everyone laughing. 

Edited March 12, 2018 by Ravenna

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, AZChristian said:

No way should that new baby have been handed around to a room full of people.  Grandparents?  Okay.  "Other" grandmothers?  Okay.  A bunch of kids ranging from about 4 to 20+?  Not today.  Bring them back after Maddie has had some rest and parents have had some quiet bonding time.  And make them all wash their hands before they can touch the baby.  Again, this is NOT a spectator event!!!  

I think some of that was filmed later, after cleanup and probably some Mom and Dad bonding time. Also, there is a school of thought that says we as a society are way too germphobic, especially with kids. The midwife even expressed that when they discussed cleaning the tub. I'm not saying I agree that the tub shouldn't have been scrubbed, but she seemed to be saying that turning the jets on and heating it up would clean it sufficiently. 

I am very germphobic and would probably insist on a thorough scrubbing. But as a child I ate a lollipop off the ground and lived to tell the tale, so what do I know? 

[Brutus Buckeye]

14 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Did you watch the show that followed?  Three wives and one husband?  In one family, the wives are always holding hands.  I don't think it's a sexual thing at all - not trying to insinuate that.  But even their kids were so close you couldn't tell which kids belonged to which mom.

Some plyg women swing both ways, obviously. 

I'm sorta surprised that none of them ever take advantage of lgbt marriage, with wife #2 marrying wife #3. Even if it's just for tax purposes. 

[Higgins]

39 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Not sure how much she loves him since she was more than willing to have an affair and run off with her dream man and just abandon the family.  Who knows how long they had problems but she agreed to this lifestyle and continues to stick around.  A lot of her selfishness comes from being jealous of the other wives having Kody in their lives more because of the other 3 having large families. She figures since she has less of Kody she should be compensated. 

It's not so black and white. 

[Granny58]

18 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Granny, did you watch 3 wives and 1 husband last night?  It was really weird (and very sad!) to hear the 2nd and 3rd wives talk about their experiences.  This BEAUTIFUL wife showed off her wedding pictures and said she sometimes gets sad because she cannot believe that he can love her as much as he loves women he has been together with for 12 years.  I think if a woman loves her husband - polygamy just sucks.  Period.   

No, I couldn't stay awake that long.  LOL.  I will On Demand it at some point because it did look interesting.  Yes I AGREE!!!  Polygamy is an AWFUL situation for women, no matter what number they are.  I only meant that at a minimum wives, 2,3, etc. knew what they were signing on for (well, as much as you can anticipate your reactions to it I guess).  

[ghoulina]

50 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I know they all hate how she behaved when catfished but according to them, they are family for life so shouldn’t they ALL be trying to forgive and find ways to help her? 

It's hard to forgive and move on when said person won't accept responsibility. To this day, Meri still acts like she was some naive twit who fell prey to the evil machinations of some internet genius. Yea, she was duped. But she was a whole lot more involved than she ever lets on. If she can't own it, I wouldn't have any interest in trying to get close to her again. 

[Granny58]

20 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I think desperately lonely people can do desperate things. 

AMEN.

18 minutes ago, Ravenna said:

Meri is a pain in da butt, but at least she has a pulse, plus I'm mesmerized by those painted on brows.

LOL

[laurakaye]

47 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I'm with you on having sympathy for Meri.  But I don't believe for a minute that she desperately loves Kody.  I think she is over him.

And I get the exact opposite from her.  I think she is desperate to win him back.  The whole catfish debaucle was interesting - she was prepared to run away and live in splendor with her handsome millionaire boyfriend, until she figured out that she could play the victim of a mean ol' catfisher.  She never properly apologized (except to paint trees for her sister-wives, which was yet another passive way to appease Kody - by being nice to the wives that he still has relationships with) but I absolutely think she was waiting for Kody to bring her back into the fold, forgive her, and give her some special Kody-time as they repaired their relationship.  The whole stupid B&B thing is just another way of her throwing a passive-aggressive tantrum to get Kody's attention.

She is like a child who misbehaves in order to get their parent's attention.  It might be negative attention, but it's better than none at all.  I think that most of the things she does are calculated to get Kody's attention, except it seems that Kody might finally be over her.

Edited March 12, 2018 by laurakaye