S07.E13: I'm Beautiful, I'm Smart, I'm Strong

[DudeLeaveMeAlone]

Did anyone else notice the two giant suitcases Tyler put in the trunk of the little car while Cate hugged Kerthy goodbye? And then, Kerthy picks them up from what I presume is the airport, and they don't have any luggage. Was this the trip where Kerthy Tweeted Delta about their flight delay, instead of working with customer service (like a normal person)?

Farrah entertains me, but she was HORRIBLE last night. Her entitlement and tone towards the realtor (via text message) and her producer were completely rude and inappropriate. I can't believe (well, actually I can) she talks the way she does in front of Sophia. I thought she got rid of negative people and negative emotions so she and her daughter can be happy. Perhaps she should practice what she spews.

[Marisagf]

I want to ask everyone a question, but I must preface it by saying I do not wish anything bad on any of these Teen Mom people.  

Here goes:  What if Catelynn actually committed suicide?  Would this show (and all it's iterations) be yanked off MTV as fast as you can say "booger butt"?  Or would we get a break in the action for a few months and then a continuation where Tyler is followed in the wake of his wife's death?  We would definitely have the "Catelynn: Teen Mom Remembers" special".  I would hope MTV would have the good sense to end the series on that day, but something tells me they wouldn't.

[Rebecca]

1 hour ago, gunderda said:

Maybe it's just me... but the first time we saw Hudson and Bentley together, Hudson seemed a little TOO excited to get to be with Bentley. Because like you, I dont think they've spent much time together.  I feel like Hudson has some weird attachment to him. 

 

25 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

His mom probably encourages that. I bet she talks Bentley up constantly and gets Hudson all excited about seeing him.  That's easy to do with little kids. 

Exactly what I was going to say. We’ve seen her do it. I think she’s trying to cement their place in the Edwards’ lives.

15 minutes ago, Marisagf said:

Here goes:  What if Catelynn actually committed suicide?  

Tyler is followed in the wake of his wife's death?  We would definitely have the "Catelynn: Teen Mom Remembers" special".  

That’s exactly what I think would happen. There’s profit to be made!

Edited February 28, 2018 by Rebecca

[ReadMeLattice]

53 minutes ago, BXD said:

I genuinely feel for Tyler and Cate. It's such a horrible thing to go through, and as attention-seeking as he might be on social media,  poor Tyler is always the one left picking up the pieces. While I agree that people don't just run off to rehab for every little thing that goes wrong in their lives, I think Cate has a million issues that have gone undressed for years (horrible childhood, Carly, etc) and it seems like it finally came to a head. If she didn't have so many underlying issues I would say the rehab trip was an exaggeration, but I really hope that her stint in there gets give her a new look on life and helps her start over.

And I really do wish the two of them would get real jobs or hobbies to get them out of their house and out into the real world more, being at home all the time and moping will not help her in the long run!!!

This, for sure. A 30-day rehab stay every time you have a depressive episode likely won't end well, but after everything she's dealt with over the years, from the childhood abuse and addiction to the pregnancy and adoption to now the miscarriage and ongoing issues...I'd say 30 days is brief to try to get her life even slightly back on track. Maybe it took her a few tries to really commit. But 30 days really isn't even that long; many people stay 90+ days before they even feel comfortable going home. 

I seriously don't like Cate. I find her annoying, immature, and arrogant. But the fact is that she's had a legitimately hard life. Better to do the stay while she's still in her 20s and has a hope of reversing the patterns.

[kokapetl]

34 minutes ago, Marisagf said:

I want to ask everyone a question, but I must preface it by saying I do not wish anything bad on any of these Teen Mom people.  

Here goes:  What if Catelynn actually committed suicide?  Would this show (and all it's iterations) be yanked off MTV as fast as you can say "booger butt"?  Or would we get a break in the action for a few months and then a continuation where Tyler is followed in the wake of his wife's death?  We would definitely have the "Catelynn: Teen Mom Remembers" special".  I would hope MTV would have the good sense to end the series on that day, but something tells me they wouldn't.

RHOBH handled Russell Armstrong offing himself, with a one-off pre-season special featuring all wives and husbands, and they kept Taylor around for another season or two. 

Caitlynn taking her own life would be tragic because it’s a LIFE, and Living Is For Everyone. Tyler would get a ton of costar support. (Those costars would also get something structured to do). I can’t see it harming the franchise, though. 

Edited February 28, 2018 by Kokapetl

[BXD]

32 minutes ago, Marisagf said:

I want to ask everyone a question, but I must preface it by saying I do not wish anything bad on any of these Teen Mom people.  

Here goes:  What if Catelynn actually committed suicide?  Would this show (and all it's iterations) be yanked off MTV as fast as you can say "booger butt"?  Or would we get a break in the action for a few months and then a continuation where Tyler is followed in the wake of his wife's death?  We would definitely have the "Catelynn: Teen Mom Remembers" special".  I would hope MTV would have the good sense to end the series on that day, but something tells me they wouldn't.

They cancelled Buckwild after that poor guy Shane died, so I would hope with a suicide they would be even more sensitive. But who knows.

[Juniebaby]

It’s hard for anyone who doesn’t suffer from depression fully understand how bad it is.  I remember reading an article about Wayne Brady a while back stating how he suffers from extreme depression.  He said he was in bed for months and no matter who begged him to go get help he just couldn’t do it.  He said it was like a Boulder was on his chest and he just couldn’t get up.  After months of being in bed he said he realized he was going to die in that bed and never see his kids again and that is when he got help.  I hope he’s doing ok now cause I love me some Wayne Brady.

[pheebs]

@methadonna - Brava! That was some Hunter S. Thompson-level realness!

[IDreamofJoaquin]

I try not to personalize a lot but the Catelynn going to treatment thing is really starting to get under my skin.   If she has the means to go then great, I guess I'm a little jealous.  I have struggled with bipolar disorder for over 25 years.  I have been in a facility twice.  Once in my late teens and then when I was pregnant with my son.  It is a private one and it is still a dump. Nothing AT ALL like the ones anyone from the Teen Mom world goes to.  I still had to pay a few thousand bucks as my co-pay after insurance.  I have had a few times since I had my son and daughter that I really needed to go and I've had multiple nervous breakdowns.  I don't go anywhere because it's simply not a sustainable part of my families life.  It would use all of my sick leave, I would be shelling out thousands of dollars that we could use for something else, I don't know what I would do with my children - would my husband just take his own vacation and sick time and take care of them?  So I just suffer through it.  I agree with what a few other members have said about getting a really great counselor. That has helped me a lot and I have gained many tools and learned a lot about personal boundaries and triggers.  I don't know why but it just bugs me when Catelynn gets a pat on the back and praise saying "it's great you are taking care of yourself". I should be more empathetic with her but I'm not.  I want to take care of myself too.  Maybe just because I've been there and I've had to work my ass off and I don't really see her doing any work. Having a therapist while the cameras are there is a joke. 

 

And why the FUCK is she holding a cell phone AND A CIGARETTE WHILE DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[IDreamofJoaquin]

9 hours ago, gunderda said:

yeaaaaa because how many years of a shitty attitude are suddenly better after 5 months?  Ok Michael.  I used to like this guy...... 

Exactly!!!!  So all of the sudden she has changed?

 

Wow, MTV really is editing her to look horrific. She does say and do those things so I don't begrudge them for it but I "kind of" thought she was okay the last 2 seasons.  The way she was talking with Sophia in the back seat was atrocious. 

 

MTV needs to stick with her being fired because she is abusive to their employers.  When they add in her porn escapades they are handing her an excuse and an argument on a silver platter.  If it was simply about her behavior and that is the only thing she had to face then she could have the opportunity to examine that. She wouldn't because it's Farrah but still they are doing it all wrong.

[TheRealT]

26 minutes ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I try not to personalize a lot but the Catelynn going to treatment thing is really starting to get under my skin.   If she has the means to go then great, I guess I'm a little jealous.  I have struggled with bipolar disorder for over 25 years.  I have been in a facility twice.  Once in my late teens and then when I was pregnant with my son.  It is a private one and it is still a dump. Nothing AT ALL like the ones anyone from the Teen Mom world goes to.  I still had to pay a few thousand bucks as my co-pay after insurance.  I have had a few times since I had my son and daughter that I really needed to go and I've had multiple nervous breakdowns.  I don't go anywhere because it's simply not a sustainable part of my families life.  It would use all of my sick leave, I would be shelling out thousands of dollars that we could use for something else, I don't know what I would do with my children - would my husband just take his own vacation and sick time and take care of them?  So I just suffer through it.  I agree with what a few other members have said about getting a really great counselor. That has helped me a lot and I have gained many tools and learned a lot about personal boundaries and triggers.  I don't know why but it just bugs me when Catelynn gets a pat on the back and praise saying "it's great you are taking care of yourself". I should be more empathetic with her but I'm not.  I want to take care of myself too.  Maybe just because I've been there and I've had to work my ass off and I don't really see her doing any work. Having a therapist while the cameras are there is a joke. 

 

And why the FUCK is she holding a cell phone AND A CIGARETTE WHILE DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the basic issue, as others have pointed out, is that Cate (and, to a different extent, Ty) have never learned to cope with life in a "normal" way because their lives have been warped by the MTV experience. If Cate were living in a trailer, and/or with April, and/or in some similarly dismal situation (where she clearly would be without MTV), obviously, 'flying to another state to go to a cushy in-patient treatment program for 30+ days' wouldn't be an option. She'd be lucky to get a couple of weeks in a government-sponsored facility within driving distance of home and, more likely, she'd have to make do with a 5150 to a local public hospital for a day or 2, followed up with weekly therapy visits with some low-level clinician at a non-profit (if she was lucky).

So I get the frustration with her not appreciating that, but, realistically, how could she? She only knows her own life experience, which has significantly limited her ability to learn about/understand the world, and she is organically a person with a ton of issues and limited drive/intelligence/etc. (not trying to diss her, but that's the reality). Even Tyler, who suffers from a lower level of depression/etc. and who had one at least semi-functional and supportive parent, hasn't been able to overcome his emotional issues to accomplish a minimum level of mainstream "success" apart from MTV/the MTV money. It's not even clear that C&T have paid off a home to live in and they are financially enmeshed with multiple fucked up, addict relatives who can't realistically be expected to ever fully support themselves. When the MTV gravy train reaches its final stop, they are fucked.

[IDreamofJoaquin]

My post wasn't supposed to be a critical thinking piece examining why they were in that spot.  Like I said it was personal and I am jealous.   If I had 30 days somewhere like that I would come out like Gwyneth Paltrow!

[onatrek]

6 hours ago, DudeLeaveMeAlone said:

Did anyone else notice the two giant suitcases Tyler put in the trunk of the little car while Cate hugged Kerthy goodbye? And then, Kerthy picks them up from what I presume is the airport, and they don't have any luggage. Was this the trip where Kerthy Tweeted Delta about their flight delay, instead of working with customer service (like a normal person)?

Farrah entertains me, but she was HORRIBLE last night. Her entitlement and tone towards the realtor (via text message) and her producer were completely rude and inappropriate. I can't believe (well, actually I can) she talks the way she does in front of Sophia. I thought she got rid of negative people and negative emotions so she and her daughter can be happy. Perhaps she should practice what she spews.

No that was when Cate went back in January it seems.

And I can't believe I'm going to WK for any of these goofballs, but SM is actually a GREAT resource with travel issues and you can almost always get a faster response than waiting in what often are hour plus long lines when there are major issues at airports or lots of cancelled flights, etc. It's actually become incredibly common and they are very quick to help most of the time. Well...not some of the super crappy airlines, but the majors usually are (typically being polite and specific in your inquiry they'll ask you to follow so they can DM and help specifically)

[Kalamityjayne]

12 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

I don't disagree, but the thing is, *nobody* seems to really know what actually helps depression. You're right that many people deal with it...many people also develop addictions, commit suicide, abuse other people due to their own pain, etc., etc. Our postpartum suicide rates are skyrocketing in this country, making our maternal mortality rates the highest in the developed world, and meds don't work or can actually exacerbate things for large swathes of the population. I don't know if most people really 'find a way to push through.' I think most, or at least a lot, just deal with quiet, simmering pain and desperation all the time. Some die, some get divorced, some go to jail, some develop addictions they can't hide and some (usually richer) folks develop ones they can, at least for a while.

So while I don't disagree that the rehabs aren't likely to be magical cure-alls and might not be the best thing...does anybody really know how to appropriately deal with it on a consistent basis for the majority of the population? Given our mental health epidemic, it doesn't seem so to me. Our mental illness rates are rising, not falling. I don't mean to seem all Debbie Downer, and I do think Cate is lazy and annoying. But it seems like she's at least doing something now, while she didn't do much to help herself or jump start her recovery for many years.

Well, I didn’t say there was a cure. Even the anti depressants can often just exacerbate symptoms. From what we see on the show, there’s not much after care for post rehab. She comes back and lathers rinses and repeats.  If they have $ for rehabs they need to find the $ for a good therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist take your pick at home.  

 

Im glad to see she has a hobby - the horse.  Finding something to be passionate about to occupy your mind, distract you is a great step. I’m just hoping they don’t see rehabs as a quick fix to what ails you without securing safety nets and support systems at home.  TM $$ will dry up. They need a reasonable treatment that can be ongoing so that when she can’t just dash off to rehab- because sadly I think it’s going to be a life long struggle, she has so many issues in her past to work on that will exacerbate it and Carly’s Loss will always be there- she can manage it healthily. I just worry, it wasn’t shade.

[Kalamityjayne]

11 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Bentley and Hudson are not brothers. They are step brothers who, by the sound of it, barely know each other. It’s great that they want them to build a brotherly relationship but to act like they already have it and it’s somehow “unfair” that they aren’t together more is ridiculous. First of all, they both have other families because Mackenzie and Ryan both have kids with people you are not with. Second, Ryan wasn’t even the “fun weekend dad” EVER, let alone an actual parent because he didn’t want to be so he it’s sickening to hear them act like they’re being somehow persecuted by not just getting Bentley whenever they want because Ryan finally decided he might give a fuck. If I am recalling correctly he has no actual custody even. I think Ryan thinks it’ll be easier now so he might as well have Bentley over because it’ll entertain Hudson and I’m sure Mackenzie does everything anyway so what does Ryan care if Bentley is there too? It makes Ryan (appear to) look like a better father and “shuts people up” and he has Mackenzie to take the place of Jen and do all the work so it’s win-win getting Bentley regularly now for them. Plus, Mackenzie obviously wants to have control over Maci somehow. It clearly pisses her off more than Ryan that Maci calls all the shots.

Maci...I know you need a storyline but you’re in a better position than a lot of people. I have the same condition as you and I’m not saying it doesn’t suck but it’s definitely one of the more manageable conditions I have. Also, no “miracle” three kids for me. And, welcome to the world of medications, where it’s always a trade off with side effects. The fact she’s just realizing this makes me think she hasn’t had to deal with medications too many times in her life. Maybe the surgery seems ridiculous to her because she doesn’t really need it? Something just seems off with that storyline.

Farrah was insufferable but we’ve seen Jenelle do similar and refuse to film/leave/not let them in/demand shit. Kailyn too, I think. I wonder what the hell happened in the house that she shouldn’t have knocked on the door of - “touchy feely”? Doesn’t sound like Farrah, hah. I still hate Morgan. His voice is so annoying on top of it. They can fuck off for judging the porn stuff. I think Morgan might have made a mistake when he literally said that was why she was being fired. I hope she wins her lawsuit, somehow. Lemme see your browser histories, assholes.

If I spoke to the 5 year old I see regularly the way Amber speaks to Leah she would wonder what the hell was wrong with me because she’s not a baby. Oh, Gary. He’s my fave. 

I’m not touching the Catelynn stuff with a 500 foot pole.

Are there degrees to PCOS? Also, can it come on later. I have an Internet friend with four kids who claims to have it and blames it for everything amber/cate like in her life- laziness, fatigue, weight gain... 

 

Has Maci always claimed to have it even before all these kids? I don’t keep a detailed profile on these heifers to consult. I just don’t understand why she’d pick this if she didn’t have it. It’s not at all an interesting story line and I’m not accusing her of being able to write the next great American novel, but surely she could’ve devised a better plot than “my ovaries hurt.” Even when Cynthia on real housewives had it, it was a one and done episode of her talking about “yay I had surgery so I won’t look bloated anymore.” Not a whole storyline.

 

just wondering if she has it but it’s not severe or if she hasn’t been officially diagnosed and just has occasional cysts as we ladies often do. 

[eskimo]

43 minutes ago, Kalamityjayne said:

Are there degrees to PCOS? Also, can it come on later. I have an Internet friend with four kids who claims to have it and blames it for everything amber/cate like in her life- laziness, fatigue, weight gain...

I have no professional information, but two of my close friends have PCOS and both of them were able to conceive only once (we are in our 40's now).  One of them even sought medical intervention and could not get pregnant again.  Neither of them are lazy in the least bit, but both do struggle with weight, despite being active people.  Everybody's different, of course, so that doesn't mean your friend experiences it the same way, but I think sometimes when people are labeled with something they use it as an excuse for not trying.  

I thought a major sign of PCOS was trouble conceiving, and Maci seems to have no trouble in that dept.  She's what, 27, and has been pregnant 4 times that we know of.  But again, everybody's different so who knows.   

[TheRealT]

50 minutes ago, Kalamityjayne said:

Are there degrees to PCOS? Also, can it come on later. I have an Internet friend with four kids who claims to have it and blames it for everything amber/cate like in her life- laziness, fatigue, weight gain... 

 

Has Maci always claimed to have it even before all these kids? I don’t keep a detailed profile on these heifers to consult. I just don’t understand why she’d pick this if she didn’t have it. It’s not at all an interesting story line and I’m not accusing her of being able to write the next great American novel, but surely she could’ve devised a better plot than “my ovaries hurt.” Even when Cynthia on real housewives had it, it was a one and done episode of her talking about “yay I had surgery so I won’t look bloated anymore.” Not a whole storyline.

 

just wondering if she has it but it’s not severe or if she hasn’t been officially diagnosed and just has occasional cysts as we ladies often do. 

I wondered about all of this too. It seems like Maci has gone too far with the PCOS thing for it to be 100% fake, but it just doesn't ring true. I also wondered whether she has "mild PCOS" (or something) and is overblowing it to seem interesting/have a storyline. Her little PCOS journey in this episode seemed weird/fake. She was like, "I decided to go to the doctor to discuss this medical condition that I've supposedly had for years as if I'm just now learning about it..." Hunh? And maybe she's just lucky, but from the way she describes her PCOS it seems odd that she's, apparently, gotten pregnant almost instantly whenever she wasn't using birth control (as Taylor alluded to in their conversation about having another child, presumably because he had knocked her up 3 times in 3-4 years). And she claimed that getting pregnant with Jayde was a "miracle" because she had been told it would be hard for her to conceive, but she seems to have forgotten about/dropped that aspect of her story because in subsequent conversations about having another kid she never said, "I don't know whether I can even get pregnant..." (and she got pregnant 3 times in 3-4 years). So I don't know what to believe.

[Kb60]

Interesting how Maci reacted to her miscarriage compared to Cate' s reaction. Total opposites. I've had what I suspected we're miscarriages early into the pregnancy and I didn't react like either of them did. I didn't fall apart like Cate and I didn't name it like Maci did. It makes me wonder if they played it up for the cameras. I just can't see how you would name a large clot nor want to kill myself over it either. Jmo.

[crazychicken]

Hate to side with Maci on the PCOS issue but her getting pregnant straight off birth control makes sense. When seeking fertility treatment for PCOS this is one of the first treatments they try going on the pill for 3 months to control hormones and then trying like hell for the first month off birth control. Depending on the severity it is not unusual to tell women to conceive ASAP as the symptoms and side effects compound each month by the time they get to their mid 20s fertility is a lot harder.

 

Pregnancy also resets a lot of PCOS symptoms and once one pregnancy has been achieved subsequent pregnancy are easier to achieve in the first 12- 18 months before your chances taper off again. I have had a few friends that conceived via IVF for PCOS then go onto have natural conception.

 

I am the result of the reset effect my parents tried to concieve for 5 years with no luck, it took 3 years of fertility treatment for my brother to be concieved yet I was conceived 3 months after his birth, mom went on birth control for 18 months conceived my next brother her first month off, back on birth control then 5 months to conceive my next brother and she is still scratching her head how my last brother came into this world as she was on the pill when she fell pregnant. Within 4 years of having my last brother she had a full hysterectomy due to the pain of the PCOS.

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, Kb60 said:

Interesting how Maci reacted to her miscarriage compared to Cate' s reaction. Total opposites. I've had what I suspected we're miscarriages early into the pregnancy and I didn't react like either of them did. I didn't fall apart like Cate and I didn't name it like Maci did. It makes me wonder if they played it up for the cameras. I just can't see how you would name a large clot nor want to kill myself over it either. Jmo.

I have opinions on this that I won't get into because it would start something, but I will say what a neonatal grief counselor told us in group support... (We were all in there for having lost infants, not pregnancies.) She said that attendance in pregnancy loss groups at that hospital had more than tripled in the past 10 years. The hospital thinks that it has something to do with the newer pregnancy tests and how soon you can now tell that you're pregnant. When my mom was pregnant with me, she was something like 11 weeks. Almost out of her first trimester. With some of these newer ones, however, women are finding out within a couple of weeks. When I got pregnant with my first son, the doctor's office test gave me a faint positive 11 days after conception. (It was so faint, in fact, that they were afraid it was ectopic and they sent me to the hospital where they admitted me and kept checking my hormone levels for a week.) "Chemical pregnancies" (I've had a couple) and early miscarriages (2 here) are very common. In the past, however, a woman may have lost the pregnancy (if it was an actual pregnancy at all) before she even knew she was pregnant. Mom said she miscarried at 5 weeks and it just felt like a late period. She didn't even know she'd been pregnant until when, a week later, she had to have an emergency D and C. She felt bad about it but she didn't grieve because she hadn't known-there were no expectations or hopes riding on it. When she had a later miscarriage at 16 weeks, however, it was a different story. When you find out so early, you begin forming that emotional attachment to the idea of a pregnancy extremely early on. I wonder what will happen when women are able to find out from the moment of conception-because I think that day will come. 

 

(On another note, it was difficult to find a baby loss support group in the beginning. There were pregnancy loss support groups, but they didn't want me because it was too triggering to the women to hear about my infant since they'd not met theirs, and there were child loss support groups-but they didn't want me because my son was 2 months old and many of them felt like that didn't compare to losing a 10 year old-so it was difficult finding "my people.")

[Phoebe70]

3 hours ago, Kb60 said:

Interesting how Maci reacted to her miscarriage compared to Cate' s reaction. Total opposites. I've had what I suspected we're miscarriages early into the pregnancy and I didn't react like either of them did. I didn't fall apart like Cate and I didn't name it like Maci did. It makes me wonder if they played it up for the cameras. I just can't see how you would name a large clot nor want to kill myself over it either. Jmo.

Every woman handles miscarriage in her own way.  I had several miscarriages and a stillbirth (at 23 weeks).  I did not see my miscarriages as "a large clot" and frankly I find that offensive.  Whether you're 6 weeks pregnant or 6 months pregnant, you were still expecting to give birth to a child.  A 6 week miscarriage is still a loss, and for those who already suffer from depression like Cate, it can be devastating.  We never really saw how Maci reacted to her miscarriage.  All we saw was a brief discussion at their anniversary dinner.  I'm sure she did her fair share of grieving but it was never filmed like Cate's was.

[ReadMeLattice]

9 hours ago, Kalamityjayne said:

Are there degrees to PCOS? Also, can it come on later. I have an Internet friend with four kids who claims to have it and blames it for everything amber/cate like in her life- laziness, fatigue, weight gain... 

just wondering if she has it but it’s not severe or if she hasn’t been officially diagnosed and just has occasional cysts as we ladies often do. 

I'm really confused about this too. I've known people who really seemed to struggle with PCOS from an early age and others for whom it came on later after a hormonal shift, gaining weight, etc. It's a syndrome so it's a little more elusive than just, 'ok I have this,' and technically you don't even need to have cysts to have the syndrome. You can manage the symptoms and still get pregnant, which is why it's weird that she presents it as 'this causes my infertility.' 

So I'm just super confused. Is she self-diagnosing? Maybe she has some of the symptoms? She does seem to have thin hair and hair loss, which is one of the issues you can get...the whole thing is just REALLY weird. And agree, she blames it for everything in her life. I'm wondering if some people confuse symptoms of depression and anxiety, which can cause irregular periods and such, with PCOS. I don't know, though, I just don't get Maci or believe a lot of what comes out of her mouth.

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I have opinions on this that I won't get into because it would start something, but I will say what a neonatal grief counselor told us in group support... (We were all in there for having lost infants, not pregnancies.) She said that attendance in pregnancy loss groups at that hospital had more than tripled in the past 10 years. The hospital thinks that it has something to do with the newer pregnancy tests and how soon you can now tell that you're pregnant. 

Yes, the early pregnancy tests definitely make this an issue! I saw this all the time in my pregnancy support group, people knew about a miscarriage 2 days after conception and it takes a toll on many. Other people just shrug it off and that's fine too!

Also, I would assume that Cate has extreme trauma regarding pregnancy and birth. The first time she was pregnant resulted in extreme stress and lifelong depression because she didn't take her child home with her. I'm assuming that what Cate is dealing with is FAR beyond a miscarriage. That's why I'm not going to compare my own experiences with birth & pregnancy to hers...my child went straight home with me. I've never experienced giving birth at 16 and never spending a night at home with that baby, while knowing they were home with another couple. I can't even imagine, even if it was my own choice.

I think if someone feels it's a large clot that's totally OK and valid, and if someone grieves the loss like they would a child it's totally OK and valid. Everyone's reaction to anything re: birth/miscarriage is so different.

[ReadMeLattice]

4 hours ago, Kb60 said:

Interesting how Maci reacted to her miscarriage compared to Cate' s reaction. Total opposites. I've had what I suspected we're miscarriages early into the pregnancy and I didn't react like either of them did. I didn't fall apart like Cate and I didn't name it like Maci did. It makes me wonder if they played it up for the cameras. I just can't see how you would name a large clot nor want to kill myself over it either. Jmo.

I would assume it was like reliving the loss of Carly over again.

10 hours ago, Kalamityjayne said:

Well, I didn’t say there was a cure. Even the anti depressants can often just exacerbate symptoms. From what we see on the show, there’s not much after care for post rehab. She comes back and lathers rinses and repeats.  If they have $ for rehabs they need to find the $ for a good therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist take your pick at home.  

 

Im glad to see she has a hobby - the horse.  Finding something to be passionate about to occupy your mind, distract you is a great step. I’m just hoping they don’t see rehabs as a quick fix to what ails you without securing safety nets and support systems at home.  TM $$ will dry up. They need a reasonable treatment that can be ongoing so that when she can’t just dash off to rehab- because sadly I think it’s going to be a life long struggle, she has so many issues in her past to work on that will exacerbate it and Carly’s Loss will always be there- she can manage it healthily. I just worry, it wasn’t shade.

Yeah, I wasn't trying to go hard or anything--just thinking aloud about how nobody really has the answers to these things. The way we've set things up is basically that wealthy people can traipse off to fancy rehabs but then still get cut loose like everybody else when they're back. Meanwhile, poorer folks get a state hospital that's similar to jail or nothing at all. And then the way you have to go to therapy here because of the health care system is very odd and appointments are hard to keep for depressed people, anyway. I totally agree with you that I'll believe she'll take her mental health seriously when I see it, but our mental health care system is certainly tangled and strange (to me, anyway).

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

15 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

My post wasn't supposed to be a critical thinking piece examining why they were in that spot.  Like I said it was personal and I am jealous.   If I had 30 days somewhere like that I would come out like Gwyneth Paltrow!

@IDreamofJoaquin, I feel you. I've had clinical depression for much of my adult life. I've had several prolonged periods of the "boulder on your chest" as you lay in bed feeling that Wayne Brady described in @Juniebaby's post.  I've come to realize depression will always be there with me, lurking in the shadows, and I try to stay one step ahead.  Every day I have to fight it to some extent.  Some days it wins, but I win far more often that it does. I wish I could spend a month getting fancy treatment and just some fricking rest (I have two toddlers). But I have bills, a job, kids (and hubby works full-time & we have no family that could come that long to help), and responsibilities. I wish I could take a break from life for treatment.  I don't begrudge Cate for going to treatment but I really, really hope she takes it seriously and follows through this time. Ugh.

2 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

So I'm just super confused. Is she self-diagnosing? Maybe she has some of the symptoms? She does seem to have thin hair and hair loss, which is one of the issues you can get...the whole thing is just REALLY weird. 

I believe Maci might actually have PCOS becuase she has thin hair & she has always had really bad acne on her face.  It was really bad back in earlier seasons of TM.  Her acne was sometimes really rough to look at (and I say that as someone with adult acne).  It looked painful and I felt awful for her that posters on some forums were saying she needed to wash her face.  Hormonal, adult acne is something you can magically cure by washing your face better. 

 Adult acne is almost always hormonal and many, many women with PCOS have it.  I do think it's weird that her PCOS is a story line now.  It's not like the PCOS is going to keep her from having a 2nd or 3rd child that she really wants.  She has those. Is she trying to make viewers feel sorry for her that having baby number 4 is unlikely?  Because 1) she obviously is someone whose fertility hasn't be hindered by her PCOS (not everyone with PCOS has fertility issues); and 2) trying to elicit sympathy about fertility problems when you already have three healthy children is really a slap in the face to people who would give anything to have one child or a second child.  You were lucky as hell to have three kids if you have PCOS, Maci, so please don't make the fertility issues it could bring (but didn't for you) part of your story line. If you want to talk about PCOS, fine. But please don't even mention fertility. No one cares if a mother of three surprise babies can't get pregnant with a fourth, especially since most people would think your chugging-beers-and-shots-while-pregnant-behind doesn't even need to think about having a 4th kid. If you want to sob about possibly not having baby #4, Maci, that's fine. But please be respectful of people who won't ever have kids or have struggled to have one kid and don't cry over not having baby #4 on national TV. 

2 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

I would assume it was like reliving the loss of Carly over again.

 Absolutley this. I can't judge Catelynn for having major depression over this loss because 1) it surely brought back the trauma of "losing" Carly when she was placed for adoption, and 2) hormones (especially pregnancy-related ones) are a BITCH. I had prenatal depression (which is woefully undiagnosed/not well-known) that got awfully close to prenatal psychosis (unwanted, intrusive thoughts of hurting myself) when I was pregnant with my first.  My nurse midwife saved my (and my son's) life by taking it very seriously.  I stayed on antidepressants when pregnant with my second child because the benefits > risk for me.  I can't take hormonal birth control pills because they put my depression into overdrive. I imagine that Catelynn's depression was exacerbated by the hormonal shifts caused by the pregnancy/miscarriage and that shit is real and dangerous. I'm glad she got help...now I hope she does her aftercare. 

Edited March 1, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[IDreamofJoaquin]

Well, on another note I am going to finally admit my "Boogar Butt" nickname for my children.   My son is "Bubba" mostly because it is an easier way to say Brother  for baby sister and then my daughter just ended up being "Nugget".  

But what I call them a lot is "Poop Dogs".  I don't even know why!!!  It makes no sense and it's really silly.  I have never and will never say it in front of anyone else but my husband.  Before I had kids I absolutely HATED the word poop.  Now that's what my life is about.   I can't believe I am writing this.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

10 minutes ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

Well, on another note I am going to finally admit my "Boogar Butt" nickname for my children.   My son is "Bubba" mostly because it is an easier way to say Brother  for baby sister and then my daughter just ended up being "Nugget".  

But what I call them a lot is "Poop Dogs".  I don't even know why!!!  It makes no sense and it's really silly.  I have never and will never say it in front of anyone else but my husband.  Before I had kids I absolutely HATED the word poop.  Now that's what my life is about.   I can't believe I am writing this.

But you don't call them that repeatedly on national TV.  I think that's the difference. :) 

And same with me about the word poop! Now my life seems to revolve around tiny humans (and chihuahuas) pooping. Ha.

[IDreamofJoaquin]

Nope, never.   No one knows.   Well, now just everyone on this board who may read that.    Haha.   Poop has invaded.  "What is the baby doing?"  "Oh, just pooping around".  It makes up for 30m years of never saying it.

[FairyDusted]

My Dad still says…."Look at the head on that!" When I walk by. I thought my name was pig guts until I was 7. Now I'm 51 and we have swear off to see who can insult the other one.

[toodywoody]

By no means am I being an asshole, but here goes:

Cate should have never gotten pregnant. Girl thinks having babies will solve the giving Carly up blues. It won't. She should have been in therapy all along and since she cannot and has not dealt correctly with just that and everything she should not have gotten pregnant. She barely takes care of Nova and then wants another kid. WTF! Fix yourself first, get off the weed, mother your child you do have, focus on yourself,  eat better  (she eats her feelings plus being high doesn't help). Quit wanting to pop out babies. Girl has serious problems and bringing another child will not help at all. So she suffers a miscarriage and that really makes her go off the deep end. If Cate would take rehab seriously and quit giving off this know it all attitude maybe things would start to work and until that time homeskillet does not need to be popping out babies. If she had shown herself to be an awesome mother to Nova I would not be saying this.

Yes I am going to hell and have acknowledged that many times on these boards. 

Edited March 1, 2018 by toodywoody
no and know are not the same

[teapot]

2 minutes ago, toodywoody said:

By no means am I being an asshole, but here goes:

Cate should have never gotten pregnant. Girl thinks having babies will solve the giving Carly up blues. It won't. She should have been in therapy all along and since she cannot and has not dealt correctly with just that and everything she should not have gotten pregnant. She barely takes care of Nova and then wants another kid. WTF! Fix yourself first, get off the weed, mother your child you do have, focus on yourself,  eat better  (she eats her feelings plus being high doesn't help). Quit wanting to pop out babies. Girl has serious problems and bringing another child will not help at all. So she suffers a miscarriage and that really makes her go off the deep end. If Cate would take rehab seriously and quit giving off this no it all attitude maybe things would start to work and until that time homeskillet does not need to be popping out babies. If she had shown herself to be an awesome mother to Nova I would not be saying this.

Yes I am going to hell and have acknowledged that many times on these boards. 

Right?

I feel like a fucking monster that I'm scoffing at someone who is SUICIDAL!  If it was someone in my life there's no way I'd be this dismissive! 

It's just sooo frustrating that we have seen her lying around for years, complaining about her weight while she shoves quesadillas in her mouth, trying to have babies, and mourning her "daughter" while her precious toddler barely knows how to talk because she spends most of her time with the dogs.

It's also confusing how she's been in and out of "rehab" for the past three months (I wonder if she *is* addicted to something we don't know about?) yet the last time she went she practically ran in the house w/her French fries & sparked up a J. I really hope she takes this seriously, and tries to do something with her life...

yet I'm not that hopeful that she will.  see?  I'm a fucking monster.

[toodywoody]

27 minutes ago, teapot said:

Right?

I feel like a fucking monster that I'm scoffing at someone who is SUICIDAL!  If it was someone in my life there's no way I'd be this dismissive! 

It's just sooo frustrating that we have seen her lying around for years, complaining about her weight while she shoves quesadillas in her mouth, trying to have babies, and mourning her "daughter" while her precious toddler barely knows how to talk because she spends most of her time with the dogs.

It's also confusing how she's been in and out of "rehab" for the past three months (I wonder if she *is* addicted to something we don't know about?) yet the last time she went she practically ran in the house w/her French fries & sparked up a J. I really hope she takes this seriously, and tries to do something with her life...

yet I'm not that hopeful that she will.  see?  I'm a fucking monster.

Well her leaving rehab early to focus on her fucking wardrobe for the reunion does not give me hope.

Cate has many problems and needs to stay in therapy and not be worried about her fucking wardrobe or some reunion.  She needs to stay her ass in therapy. She needs to take a good long look at HERSELF, and realize what and how she is doing things is not working. She has the money to attend treatment and not have the added worry of time off from a job, bills, how to afford treatment and other things. Instead she treats it like I don't even know what, but she treats it like she doesn't need it and it is a waste of her time. 

She needs to get her ass off the couch, put down the weed and quesadillas and actually listen and learn what the counselors are saying. She always seems like yeah they told me this but I'm not gonna so this because I know..... No you obviously don't Cate or she would be in a better place. Whoever upthread said she is arrogant is correct. Get the chip off your shoulder and start listening Cate. 

Edited March 1, 2018 by toodywoody

[Soobs]

This is a discussion that she and Tyler should have had. Is Cate stable enough to be able emotionally deal with suffering a miscarriage? Is she stable enough to deal with the hormonal changes and potential post partum issues? She and Tyler talked about this on camera with other Cate's friend but did they talk about with Cate's doctor and her therapist? Maybe these conversations were had and it was decided she was stable enough. But anyone looking at her can tell there's a lot of unresolved pain in those mascara smudged eyes. Mtv money and her relationship with Tyler has kept her in this holding pattern in her life. She hasn't matured much since her 16 and Pregnant episode.

Farrah really looks and acts like a cartoon. Her driver deserves an Academy Award for his poker face.

The massage scenes made me sad for Leah. Most kids would have objected but Leah will do whatever to be with her mom and please her. It's a pretty one sided relationship and Leah deserves better.

Edited March 1, 2018 by Soobs

[ghoulina]

13 hours ago, eskimo said:

I have no professional information, but two of my close friends have PCOS and both of them were able to conceive only once (we are in our 40's now).  One of them even sought medical intervention and could not get pregnant again.  Neither of them are lazy in the least bit, but both do struggle with weight, despite being active people.  Everybody's different, of course, so that doesn't mean your friend experiences it the same way, but I think sometimes when people are labeled with something they use it as an excuse for not trying.  

I thought a major sign of PCOS was trouble conceiving, and Maci seems to have no trouble in that dept.  She's what, 27, and has been pregnant 4 times that we know of.  But again, everybody's different so who knows.   

It took 1.5 years of active trying for us to conceived our oldest (my fertility did a 180 after that, because the other two were conceived super easily). We were told "undiagnosed infertility". Basically, no known reason. But I belonged to a message board for women trying to conceive and there was a whole group of gals with PCOS. It made it VERY hard for them to conceive. When I left the board, the gal I was closest to had taken 4 years to conceive her son. I'm no expert myself, but it does seem she conceives too easily for someone with this issue. One kid, maybe...but all three?

 

59 minutes ago, FairyDusted said:

My Dad still says…."Look at the head on that!" When I walk by. I thought my name was pig guts until I was 7. Now I'm 51 and we have swear off to see who can insult the other one.

You just gave me serious So I Married An Axe Murderer flashbacks. 

 

13 minutes ago, Soobs said:

This is a discussion that she and Tyler should have had. Is Cate stable enough to be able emotionally deal with suffering a miscarriage? Is she stable enough to deal with the hormonal changes and potential post partum issues? She and Tyler talked about this on camera with other Cate's friend but did they talk about with Cate's doctor and her therapist? Maybe these conversations were had and it was decided she was stable enough. But anyone looking at her can tell there's a lot of unresolved pain in those mascara smudged eyes. Mtv money and her relationship with Tyler has kept her in this holding pattern in her life. She hasn't matured much since her 16 and Pregnant episode.

Cate's doctor DID bring up her previous PPD issues at the appointment to get her IUD out. She also mentioned the smoking, and maybe her weight? I felt like the doc was trying to give her an out. Maybe she sensed, like many of us, that Cate didn't really want to go through with it. 

[FairyDusted]

LOL @ghoulina! No but my Mama did marry abusive alcoholic so close. Sober since the 80's and lives in my house in the OUTLAW suite downstairs. I put the locks on backwards so I can lock him in for kicks. Family time Ahhhh!

[BXD]

1 hour ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

 

I can't judge Catelynn for having major depression over this loss because 1) it surely brought back the trauma of "losing" Carly when she was placed for adoption, and 2) hormones (especially pregnancy-related ones) are a BITCH. I had prenatal depression (which is woefully undiagnosed/not well-known) that got awfully close to prenatal psychosis (unwanted, intrusive thoughts of hurting myself) when I was pregnant with my first.  My nurse midwife saved my (and my son's) life by taking it very seriously.  I stayed on antidepressants when pregnant with my second child because the benefits > risk for me.  I can't take hormonal birth control pills because they put my depression into overdrive. I imagine that Catelynn's depression was exacerbated by the hormonal shifts caused by the pregnancy/miscarriage and that shit is real and dangerous. I'm glad she got help...now I hope she does her aftercare. 

I strongly believe I had prenatal depression that went completely undiagnosed and it was awful. It makes me very fearful of ever having another baby because it messed with me so badly. Everyone constantly asking "why aren't you excited" and other insensitive questions that I just couldn't answer because I was so depressed for what felt like no reason. Everyone handles the hormones and emotions differently, so it doesn't surprise me that Cate got to a point where she felt suicidal, especially since she wasn't in a great mental state to begin with.  I hope she takes the necessary time to process all of this in a healthy way before she tries to get pregnant again.

[FawnLeibowitz]

Quote

And I know Farrah's porn career is legal and therefore in some people's eyes above reproach, but I just don't think that any sane person would think it's a good thing for a child to have a parent who does porn, much less is famous for it. 

I see the "porn is legal" mentioned all the time. I think we all know that it's legal - it's just not exactly respected. And yes, I would be very disappointed and embarrassed if that was the path that any of my kids chose.

Quote

Are there degrees to PCOS?

I have suffered with PCOS since I was a teenager (I'm in my 40s). Maci seems to have very few symptoms of a typical PCOS woman. I don't have all of them either, but far more than she does. I took fertility drugs to get pregnant the first 2 times, then started eating much healthier and working out a lot. I did have a surprise pregnancy a few months later. So IMO  it's possible that she has it, but if she does, she's extremely fortunate that she doesn't experience most of the things other women do.

[StatisticalOutlier]

13 hours ago, Kalamityjayne said:

Even when Cynthia on real housewives had it, it was a one and done episode of her talking about “yay I had surgery so I won’t look bloated anymore.” Not a whole storyline.

Just a correction--Cynthia had uterine fibroids, not PCOS.  Treatment for fibroids is fairly straighforward, and the UFE Cynthia had is not even surgery.  I think PCOS is a more complicated situation to treat, but if the major issue is that she can't conceive, then it's not a problem most people will sympathize with for someone with three kids. 

 

4 hours ago, Phoebe70 said:

Every woman handles miscarriage in her own way.  I had several miscarriages and a stillbirth (at 23 weeks).  I did not see my miscarriages as "a large clot" and frankly I find that offensive. 

@Kb60 said she suspected she had miscarriages early into pregnancy; thinking of it as a large clot seems reasonable under those circumstances.  At any rate, that's how she handled it.

 

51 minutes ago, toodywoody said:

Cate should have never gotten pregnant.

I completely agree, but I can see how she would think it's a good idea.  She's not happy with her life, so she looks around for something to change, and having a baby definitely qualifies.  You saw how her family reacted when she got pregnant the first time--completely ignoring the reality of the baby, and instead just thinking "Ooooh, a baby!!!"  I still remember when Tyler said he didn't want a baby to be raised in the situation he could offer, Butch's solution was, "All you need is love." 

And lots of people who are much more educated and have vastly more life skills than Cate have babies in situations that give some of us pause.  How many babies have been born to save a marriage? 

So I cut her some slack for thinking it could help.  Of course, most of us here think that what could help would be losing some weight, going to therapy, getting interested in something. other than being a Teen Mom star.   But the truth is that getting pregnant is easier.  [Insert Tyler lack-of-interest joke here.]

[teapot]

1 minute ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

I completely agree, but I can see how she would think it's a good idea.  She's not happy with her life, so she looks around for something to change, and having a baby definitely qualifies.  You saw how her family reacted when she got pregnant the first time--completely ignoring the reality of the baby, and instead just thinking "Ooooh, a baby!!!"  I still remember when Tyler said he didn't want a baby to be raised in the situation he could offer, Butch's solution was, "All you need is love." 

And lots of people who are much more educated and have vastly more life skills than Cate have babies in situations that give some of us pause.  How many babies have been born to save a marriage? 

So I cut her some slack for thinking it could help.  Of course, most of us here think that what could help would be losing some weight, going to therapy, getting interested in something. other than being a Teen Mom star.   But the truth is that getting pregnant is easier.  [Insert Tyler lack-of-interest joke here.]

I'd buy that if she didn't seem so inattentive to Nova...I mean, I get that we're basically getting fifteen minutes a week but if she *were* an involved parent, wouldn't we see glimpses of it sometimes?

I can't for the life of me imagine that she'd want another....which is why the depression confuses me, but I'm not her so I have no idea.

[Kalamityjayne]

5 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

I would assume it was like reliving the loss of Carly over again.

Yeah, I wasn't trying to go hard or anything--just thinking aloud about how nobody really has the answers to these things. The way we've set things up is basically that wealthy people can traipse off to fancy rehabs but then still get cut loose like everybody else when they're back. Meanwhile, poorer folks get a state hospital that's similar to jail or nothing at all. And then the way you have to go to therapy here because of the health care system is very odd and appointments are hard to keep for depressed people, anyway. I totally agree with you that I'll believe she'll take her mental health seriously when I see it, but our mental health care system is certainly tangled and strange (to me, anyway).

Mental health care in this country is a disaster. It is absolutely terrible how things are dealt with, totally agree.

10 hours ago, Kb60 said:

Interesting how Maci reacted to her miscarriage compared to Cate' s reaction. Total opposites. I've had what I suspected we're miscarriages early into the pregnancy and I didn't react like either of them did. I didn't fall apart like Cate and I didn't name it like Maci did. It makes me wonder if they played it up for the cameras. I just can't see how you would name a large clot nor want to kill myself over it either. Jmo.

Well to them it wasn’t just a large clot. It was their baby. Doesn’t matter what stage of development it was in or the views on abortion or at what point you deem it life, most of it is a wanted pregnancy are going to consider it a baby.  I had a friend who, like you, wasnt phased one bit when she lost a baby she got pg with while on iud and she’s a pastors wife so I’d assume very pro life. I otoh was devastated when I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks.  Everyone is different.

 

I actually know many who have (mc happens in 1 in 3 so chances are most women will have one) and they were all sad, other than the above lady, and all to varying degrees but all saw it as child loss. Even more so for Cate like the other poster said, she already lost one child through adoption.

 

I even know people who sob over ectopic or chemical pregnancies and mourn for a child that never was.  You’re mourning the loss of a baby you were anticipating. Idk to each their own. I didn’t find either grief of theirs odd. Just the going to a rehab for it right away without just seeking local help, or from her spouse.

[StatisticalOutlier]

8 minutes ago, teapot said:

I'd buy that if she didn't seem so inattentive to Nova...I mean, I get that we're basically getting fifteen minutes a week but if she *were* an involved parent, wouldn't we see glimpses of it sometimes?

I can't for the life of me imagine that she'd want another....which is why the depression confuses me, but I'm not her so I have no idea.

I think she just wants something in her life to change.  She (along with everyone around her) doesn't seem to have a good grasp on the notion that getting pregnant and having a baby are quite different from actually raising that person.  So she got pregnant to shake things up, and it went away. 

I do think she's depressed, and this certainly didn't help things.  Maybe she's sad because she lost the baby (which you can't see because you don't see her being particularly invested in the one she already has so what's the big deal about this one (I completely understand this view), but maybe she's sad because she tried something to change things up and it didn't work, or maybe she's sad because she just can't seem to do anything right, or maybe she's sad because everyone was all excited and now she's disappointed them. 

Running off to an in-patient facility does smell like wanting to just get away from everything to me--again, shaking things up.

Who knows.  I do know she's a big mess and I'm not sure she has the wherewithal, never mind the skills, to crawl out of it.  And if Tyler and April and her MTV producers are her primary support, then I'm not hopeful.

[Kb60]

2 hours ago, Kalamityjayne said:

 

 

2 hours ago, Kalamityjayne said:

 

Well to them it wasn’t just a large clot. It was their baby. Doesn’t matter what stage of development it was in or the views on abortion or at what point you deem it life, most of it is a wanted pregnancy are going to consider it a baby.  I had a friend who, like you, wasnt phased one bit when she lost a baby she got pg with while on iud and she’s a pastors wife so I’d assume very pro life. I otoh was devastated when I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks.  Everyone is different.

 

I actually know many who have (mc happens in 1 in 3 so chances are most women will have one) and they were all sad, other than the above lady, and all to varying 

 

I

Where in the world did you read that I didn't care or I wasn't phased. I can tell by your post that we are indeed very different. I don't see things that aren't there, lol.

Edited March 1, 2018 by Kb60

[Kb60]

9 hours ago, Phoebe70 said:

Every woman handles miscarriage in her own way.  I had several miscarriages and a stillbirth (at 23 weeks).  I did not see my miscarriages as "a large clot" and frankly I find that offensive.  Whether you're 6 weeks pregnant or 6 months pregnant, you were still expecting to give birth to a child.  A 6 week miscarriage is still a loss, and for those who already suffer from depression like Cate, it can be devastating.  We never really saw how Maci reacted to her miscarriage.  All we saw was a brief discussion at their anniversary dinner.  I'm sure she did her fair share of grieving but it was never filmed like Cate's was.

And you never saw how I reacted to my 2 miscarriages either. If you've ever had an early miscarriage you would know that it is a large clot, lol. But you're trying to read something into my post that I didn't comment on. That's offensive also.

[Kb60]

5 hours ago, toodywoody said:

By no means am I being an asshole, but here goes:

Cate should have never gotten pregnant. Girl thinks having babies will solve the giving Carly up blues. It won't. She should have been in therapy all along and since she cannot and has not dealt correctly with just that and everything she should not have gotten pregnant. She barely takes care of Nova and then wants another kid. WTF! Fix yourself first, get off the weed, mother your child you do have, focus on yourself,  eat better  (she eats her feelings plus being high doesn't help). Quit wanting to pop out babies. Girl has serious problems and bringing another child will not help at all. So she suffers a miscarriage and that really makes her go off the deep end. If Cate would take rehab seriously and quit giving off this know it all attitude maybe things would start to work and until that time homeskillet does not need to be popping out babies. If she had shown herself to be an awesome mother to Nova I would not be saying this.

Yes I am going to hell and have acknowledged that many times on these boards. 

I guess I'll be right beside you in hell, lol.

[Bridget]

4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

It took 1.5 years of active trying for us to conceived our oldest (my fertility did a 180 after that, because the other two were conceived super easily). We were told "undiagnosed infertility". Basically, no known reason. But I belonged to a message board for women trying to conceive and there was a whole group of gals with PCOS. It made it VERY hard for them to conceive. When I left the board, the gal I was closest to had taken 4 years to conceive her son. I'm no expert myself, but it does seem she conceives too easily for someone with this issue. One kid, maybe...but all three?

 

You just gave me serious So I Married An Axe Murderer flashbacks. 

 

Cate's doctor DID bring up her previous PPD issues at the appointment to get her IUD out. She also mentioned the smoking, and maybe her weight? I felt like the doc was trying to give her an out. Maybe she sensed, like many of us, that Cate didn't really want to go through with it. 

My first thought too!

"Heed! Here! Now!" (Scottish spelling of head)

"It's like an orange on a toothpick!"

[druzy]

23 minutes ago, Kb60 said:

I guess I'll be right beside you in hell, lol.

Save me a seat!

[Bridget]

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I think she just wants something in her life to change.  She (along with everyone around her) doesn't seem to have a good grasp on the notion that getting pregnant and having a baby are quite different from actually raising that person.  So she got pregnant to shake things up, and it went away. 

I do think she's depressed, and this certainly didn't help things.  Maybe she's sad because she lost the baby (which you can't see because you don't see her being particularly invested in the one she already has so what's the big deal about this one (I completely understand this view), but maybe she's sad because she tried something to change things up and it didn't work, or maybe she's sad because she just can't seem to do anything right, or maybe she's sad because everyone was all excited and now she's disappointed them. 

Running off to an in-patient facility does smell like wanting to just get away from everything to me--again, shaking things up.

Who knows.  I do know she's a big mess and I'm not sure she has the wherewithal, never mind the skills, to crawl out of it.  And if Tyler and April and her MTV producers are her primary support, then I'm not hopeful.

I never thought about her getting pregnant as a way to change things up and now she feels like she's disappointing people again. All of your examples make so much sense to me now that I stop and think about it. 

This is one of the many reasons why I love this board: I'm now thinking and looking at things from a totally different point of view.

I agree that she wants something in her life to change and sadly, I don't even think she knows where to start because she is so overwhelmed nor has she made steps to find out why she's feeling so __________ (insert emotion here) on any given day.

She came from "rehab" and professed that she now loved horses and they were the best way to handle anxiety. I bet she'd never been on a horse before her time there (and that's ok). Then she goes home and buys a horse, that she doesn't even know how to ride, which I believe she thinks is her self-appointed "emotional support animal" (that she has zero contact with). I know they're building a barn at the octagon house, but they don't have a the room currently for the horse.

I saw her carry a stuffed horse with her in the car to the airport and thought for a minute that maybe a non-breathing stuffed horse is the most that she is capable of "taking care of" at this point. 

I don't know much about emotional support animals, so someone please let me know if I'm way off.

Isn't the idea of having an ESA meant to help those who struggle many basic things and to have them around you all of the time? One gets through an entire day, successfully, with help from their ESA. The animals are the ones that help to keep people feeling safe, motivate their owners to stick to a schedule/keep appointments, feel comfortable tackling a challenge or learn how to deal with the crap life throws at you in a way that won't induce trauma?

I think she thought a horse would solve her problems, but it didn't. She needs to live, work and cope within a scale that's accessible to her and her lifestyle. I see the horse and the barn/food costs as tons of $$$$ down the drain as a result of an impulse purchase. Had she found & worked with a competent therapist, I'd love to know what those sessions would have sounded like.h

Cate: "Horses will fix all of my problems."

Clinician: "Tell me what you know about them."

Cate: "ummmm.....they help me to feel better. Someone else took care of them, fed them and looked after them."

Clinician: 'What makes you think you can take care of a big ass horse when you struggle to take care of a toddler? Do you know how big horse shit is? Do you know Nova can't pick it up and play with it? "

I'd like to think she'd have been advised to commit to reading books and writing in a journal.  Start off with Horses for Dummies and then move onto something else about the benefits of equine therapy. Perhaps she could have done some research to find sites with testimonials of people who have tricks for getting out of bed & motivating people to get to the barn.

I'd also think any worthwhile clinician would encourage her to take riding lessons (would keep her busy & possibly make some new friends) instead of buying a horse she can't do anything with. A part of me thinks she even feels like she let the horse down as well because she hasn't done anything to hasten the process of learning to ride or maintain her commitment to equine therapy.

I really hope part of her aftercare includes some time to focus on why she cannot finish any of her passion projects or anything else that she starts. I personally think part of it boils down to a lack of any real education on her end, a fear of success or some other component such as "product of environment" or as someone stated before , compared to their families, they ARE the classier, successful and smarter ones.

I just wish I saw any of the moms, even my girl Chelsea, pick up a damn book! Fewer crimes against the English language would happen for sure, and it might even help a few of them think about life beyond the show. 

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Bridget said:

I don't know much about emotional support animals, so someone please let me know if I'm way off.

All I know about them is that they're not the same as service animals, so keep your fucking emotional support alpaca out of CVS.

 

1 hour ago, Bridget said:

I really hope part of her aftercare includes some time to focus on why she cannot finish any of her passion projects or anything else that she starts. I personally think part of it boils down to a lack of any real education on her end, a fear of success or some other component such as "product of environment" or as someone stated before , compared to their families, they ARE the classier, successful and smarter ones.

Hmm...maybe I should look into a stint at a fancy rehab to address my inability to finish projects.  But like Cate, I'm probably just ignoring the obvious--in my case staying off PTV when I should be doing something else.

Or, in her case, she SHOULD get on PTV because I think there's some very good advice for her here, and not just "snap out of it."  Lord knows she should be getting advice from people other than Tyler, Butch, and April. 

Edited March 2, 2018 by StatisticalOutlier
Changed "alpaca" to "emotional support alpaca" because if somebody brought an alpaca into CVS and just admitted he wanted to, and didn't hide behind the emotional support bullshit, I might be okay with it.

[ReadMeLattice]

Emotional support animals are absolutely not the same as service animals and have virtually none of the same protections. 

[toodywoody]

I just think Cate is very impulsive. First the pig, then the horse, then the baby. She thinks all these things will make her happy when nothing right in front of her makes her happy. Another baby, another pet, another nod of agreement is not bringing Carly back and is not erasing what she suffered in her childhood. Another tortilla, sopapilla or quesadilla isn't going to either.  Either is the hit off the bong. What she has done so far is not working. So to change it up with another baby is not the answer either. Cate needs to learn to make herself happy and not make everyone else happy.  Do Cate and Tyler even have friends? Do they have anyone else besides each other and their family? And I am not saying anything is wrong with that. I am saying maybe if there was someone else that could be on the outside looking in, someone who is only hers,  not her family's or Tyler's.  

Basically she needs to focus on herself.  Don't rush having kids, don't rush getting another animal, don't rush getting another house. Take it one day at a time and learn to love herself. 

[Kalamityjayne]

.

Edited March 2, 2018 by Kalamityjayne