S09.E05: PolygaMexicamist Wedding

[gardendiva]

16 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

I kind of didn't like that either. Even though we all want to kick FT in the balls, I don't think kody hitting him hard, in front of everybody during his wedding ceremony was cool, for some reason. I also thought, maddie's groom gets 'knighted', but mykelty's schlub gets a kick in the ass in front of everyone? It seemed like kody was trying to put FT in his place and tried to embarrass him a little, and I didn't like it. I always think, what if someone treated my son that way? Or daughter.  Not that FT doesn't need a good ass-kicking, but time and place. Not so much in front of his friends and parents. During the ceremony.  

I agree. I am no FT fan, but that move was inappropriate in the context of the supposedly solemn and poignant moment of a father giving away his daughter. I wonder what FT’s family thought when that happened? Just because FT might be capable of something equally rude and obnoxious, it doesn’t mean you have to stoop down to his level.

But it falls under the bigger category of “many a truth is said in jest”, of which I observed a lot during this wedding. There was a seething undercurrent of hostility towards FT that was only thinly veiled by all the fake compliments directed his way. Garrison’s “piñata threat”, the many jokes about people wanting to take an extra whack at FT’s effigy in piñata form, the snarky reference to his boorish opinions and decrees that resulted in the idea of making him a 2-sided pillow, the fear and anxiety over whether he was going to smash cake in his bride’s face...there were more little things like that which are not coming immediately to mind.

[Kohola3]

Quote

....must be explained to us unenlightened, primitives monogamists.

Fixed that for you.

[neh]

34 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

I kind of didn't like that either. Even though we all want to kick FT in the balls, I don't think kody hitting him hard, in front of everybody during his wedding ceremony was cool, for some reason. I also thought, maddie's groom gets 'knighted', but mykelty's schlub gets a kick in the ass in front of everyone? It seemed like kody was trying to put FT in his place and tried to embarrass him a little, and I didn't like it. I always think, what if someone treated my son that way? Or daughter.  Not that FT doesn't need a good ass-kicking, but time and place. Not so much in front of his friends and parents. During the ceremony.  

The Browns and Tony seem do or say things in "fun" but underneath there isn't much humor to be found. The punch is a good example if this.

IMO Chris was a much, much, much better officiate that Kody was for Maddie.  The arch of Frisbees was really cute.

[AZChristian]

Oh . . . one question.  Other than the song "Let Me Call You Sweetheart," can someone tell me anything "vintage" about this "Mexican vintage" wedding?

[gardendiva]

Just now, AZChristian said:

Oh . . . one question.  Other than the song "Let Me Call You Sweetheart," can someone tell me anything "vintage" about this "Mexican vintage" wedding?

The 20 year old scotch I would have to have in a flask to make it through this debacle.

[neh]

In the Talking Heads Mykelti's face is so round and full.  Did she look pregnant to anyone else?

[gardendiva]

4 minutes ago, neh said:

In the Talking Heads Mykelti's face is so round and full.  Did she look pregnant to anyone else?

Yes, I noticed that as well as the 1/4” of natural hair color showing at her roots. Hmmmm.

[xwordfanatik]

12 hours ago, dreadfulLeigh said:

Tony legit has a pregnancy waddle. 

He's definitely built a shed over his favorite tool :D

[Absolom]

Ratings are in:  1.374 M viewers and a .37 rating.

[xwordfanatik]

12 hours ago, toodles said:

Try this one.  https://pin.it/5l2vm7m2q6g3rh.  Or this onehttps://www.pinterest.com/pin/AVUZZ811MNdNoMSYOGy4T-kNpizBom3o4W5LCBju4I8m1pcoQEwR4-I/

I don't believe what I just saw!  OMG, you're the best, @toodles!  Those pictures are truly disturbing!

[toodles]

7 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I don't believe what I just saw!  OMG, you're the best, @toodles!  Those pictures are truly disturbing!

Aww, thanks.

22 minutes ago, neh said:

In the Talking Heads Mykelti's face is so round and full.  Did she look pregnant to anyone else?

The wedding was 12/2016 so I'm gonna say no.

[Kohola3]

8 minutes ago, toodles said:

The wedding was 12/2016 so I'm gonna say no.

But when did they film the TH?  Could it have been recently when they realized the debacle would need narration?

[toodles]

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

A CD by a group no one has heard of in an age where CDs are dying - typical Brown Brain Trust marketing idea.  These people - does the word clueless come to mind?

My guess is they had a box of CDs in the garage they needed to clear out.  Those CDs have been on the website for forever.

3 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

But when did they film the TH?  Could it have been recently when they realized the debacle would need narration?

Could be.

4 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

But when did they film the TH?  Could it have been recently when they realized the debacle would need narration?

Could be.

[Sandy W]

20 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

But when did they film the TH?  Could it have been recently when they realized the debacle would need narration?

Pretty sure the TH are filmed after episode, note FT greasy, floppy hair in wedding photos, in TH he appears to have had a perm.

[TurtlePower]

21 hours ago, Cherrio said:

I already posted about FT, but wanted to comment on the bride.

Everything she wanted, planned and demanded made everyone uncomfortable, mad and disgusted.

The outside wedding in the cold.

Making her mother sing.

Allowing FT to go dress shopping.

The incredible bad taste pinata's.

Demanding outdoor photos

The flowers

and the list goes on and on.

Even her choice of groom seemed to be made because she knew her family would not like him and be grossed out.    

And then when she wanted the outside pictures and told her wedding party to "suck it up". Not "Please, I know it's cold, I'll be forever thankful" but SUCK IT UP.  I can't stand her. 

[HahYallDoin]

18 hours ago, Pingaponga said:

Is it a new thing for a bride to insist on how her bridesmaids' hair will be styled and how their make-up will be done?  Because that wasn't the case when my friends and family got married.  The bride chose our dresses and shoes, and the rest was up to us.  Just how controlling is Mykelti?

I found it really, really disturbing to see the piñata of the bride being beaten up.  Horrendously disturbing.  How could anyone have thought that was appropriate?  How could no one say, if that's what you want, you buy it yourself?

And if my son or his fiancée ever came to me and said I had to make some massive number of flower petals or garland or goodness only knows what else for their wedding, I'd say no.  Too bad, so sad, not happening.  (That's not about to happy anyway, kid's only 15.)

One good thing about Mykelti and Tony? They haven't moved in with her mother, and they haven't announced a pregnancy.  I guess that's two good things.

When I got married, some 25 years ago, I wore my hair in an updo and asked my bridesmaids to wear their hair down. I didn't give a flip about their makeup...they were capable of choosing a lipstick shade that worked with their Cerise dresses. One of their gifts were earrings so that took care of that aspect. Done and done. I can't imagine why Mykelti cared about their makeup or hair. Although, maybe she was living vicariously through their hairstyles since FT decreed how hers should be worn. 

 

On another note...I mentioned in an earlier post that Kody nudged Christine and cut his eyes at her when the two of them were doing a TH about his shirt that was left behind. I rewound it a few times and it was a definite sharp nudge and made me wonder what that's all about. Did anyone else notice this? It was strange and I don't know why it happened.

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, HahYallDoin said:

When I got married, some 25 years ago, I wore my hair in an updo and asked my bridesmaids to wear their hair down. I didn't give a flip about their makeup...they were capable of choosing a lipstick shade that worked with their Cerise dresses. One of their gifts were earrings so that took care of that aspect. Done and done. I can't imagine why Mykelti cared about their makeup or hair. Although, maybe she was living vicariously through their hairstyles since FT decreed how hers should be worn.

When our daughter got married the first time, she had 3 bridesmaids - one had blonde hair, one had light brown, and one had dark brown.  All of their hair was the same length.  I had made their gowns - royal blue satin - and had custom hair combs made with royal blue and white ribbon with pearls.  I asked (NOT demanded) that they all wear their hair the same way . . . pulled back on the right side . . . so that when pictures were taken during the ceremony, and they were all facing towards the bride and groom, it looked really nice and uniform.  But the main thing is, there were no demands made.  Just polite requests, which the young ladies were happy to cooperate with, since we paid for their hair to be done.

[ehall1052]

I thought all the girls in the wedding party looked lovely. The guys? Not so much. Mylkelti looked very pretty and I thought Christine looked beautiful.  All girls looked so much better than any of the wedding parties of the “D” family.

[HahYallDoin]

16 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

When our daughter got married the first time, she had 3 bridesmaids - one had blonde hair, one had light brown, and one had dark brown.  All of their hair was the same length.  I had made their gowns - royal blue satin - and had custom hair combs made with royal blue and white ribbon with pearls.  I asked (NOT demanded) that they all wear their hair the same way . . . pulled back on the right side . . . so that when pictures were taken during the ceremony, and they were all facing towards the bride and groom, it looked really nice and uniform.  But the main thing is, there were no demands made.  Just polite requests, which the young ladies were happy to cooperate with, since we paid for their hair to be done.

That sounds beautiful! I can imagine those bridesmaids used their unique hair combs many times afterwards. 

 

Like you said, in your case, the ladies were politely asked to wear a certain hairstyle and no doubt were happy to comply. NO ONE wants to be rudely or curtly told what to do. Mykelti couldn't get anywhere with FT as far as what she wanted in many aspects of the wedding so she became extra bossy with her attendants. As my grandma would say, 'that girl sure had some poor raising' LOL 

[Sandy W]

9 minutes ago, ehall1052 said:

I thought all the girls in the wedding party looked lovely. The guys? Not so much. Mylkelti looked very pretty and I thought Christine looked beautiful.  All girls looked so much better than any of the wedding parties of the “D” family.

I loved the older girls dresses but the little girls skirts were a drab grey color, (that's how they came across in photos), they could have found tulle in a sparkly, metallic silver in keeping with their theme and every little girl loves some sparkle.

[Tabbygirl521]

So I couldn’t keep my attention on the logistics of how they were going to pose for photos. But did I understand that they were going to take shots of the happy couple with each of the subfamilies: The Padrons, and then Kody+Wife+Their Kids x 4? Because was Mariah even there? So one shot would be Kody+Ex-Wife+Mykelti+FT? Poor Meri! I felt very sad for her during this whole episode and was not a bit surprised that she barely spoke. I am sure any wedding would be hard for her given her situation, but here she had to sit through the Tony+Mykelti and Kody+Christine show and Be Excited. On camera.

I don’t mind Meri in general and typically just feel sad for her but this seemed horrible. (She is younger than my son and I think I see her from the perspective of a parent watching a kid flounder and get into situations that make her sad and not be able to figure out a good solution.) 

Edited February 13, 2018 by Tabbygirl521

[TheGreenWave]

1 hour ago, Sandy W said:

Pretty sure the TH are filmed after episode, note FT greasy, floppy hair in wedding photos, in TH he appears to have had a perm.

And is about double in size from the wedding.  I couldn't believe how big he got and he's FT!!!!

Also thought that Mykelti was trying pretty hard to sound "adult" in the THs - definitely a different tone of voice then she normally uses. 

[VedaPierce]

19 hours ago, Kbo said:

It made me stabby when FT and his groomsmen were sitting around (I refuse to call them brosmen) and he had no idea when they were supposed to show up. Did he even take a shower?  It looked like they were playing Xbox. Whoever said they have the maturity of 12 year old was spot on. 

It also chapped my hide when he acted like it was an imposition to do a first look.  Miracle of miracles he got a woman to agree to marry him and he can’t stop acting like a dick for one day?  Seriously?

Agree with everyone else she should have worn the shrug Janelle bought her, it looked beautiful.  

FT should have gotten his FA down to the venue and helped set up at 7 in the morning but he refused! Mykelty tried to spin it that she was the one that didn't want him there because he wouldn't know what to do, but I don't buy that for a minute! He's lazy and immature and didn't want to help set up for his magical unicorn day. Just wanted to show up and stuff his maw with community cake. 

[TurtlePower]

11 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

So I couldn’t keep my attention on the logistics of how they were going to pose for photos. But did I understand that they were going to take shots of the happy couple with each of the subfamilies: The Padrons, and then Kody+Wife+Their Kids x 4? Because was Mariah even there? So one shot would be Kody+Ex-Wife+Mykelti+FT? Poor Meri! I felt very sad for her during this whole episode and was not a bit surprised that she barely spoke. I am sure any wedding would be hard for her given her situation, but here she had to sit through the Tony+Mykelti and Kody+Christine show and Be Excited. On camera.

I don’t mind Meri in general and typically just feel sad for her but this seemed horrible. (She is younger than my son and I think I see her from the perspective of a parent watching a kid flounder and get into situations that make her sad and not be able to figure out a good solution.) 

I once thought the same as you, then I looked a little closer. Meri is a mean, selfish, manipulative person who plays the "poor me" card a LOT. She's sad mostly because of choices she has made and things she has done. I love watching episodes like this where she's melancholy--you know she's going to have to do SOMETHING to get the attention back to her (stay tuned for next week and Return of the Catfish topic).  Heaven forbid this wedding was about something else besides her and her unhappiness. "I'm sad and it's everyone else's fault." Pathetic. 

[JDAlexander]

42 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Because was Mariah even there?

Mariah was a bridesmaid, but the few times the camera caught her, she was scowling (of course).

[Kyanight]

46 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

So I couldn’t keep my attention on the logistics of how they were going to pose for photos. But did I understand that they were going to take shots of the happy couple with each of the subfamilies: The Padrons, and then Kody+Wife+Their Kids x 4? Because was Mariah even there? So one shot would be Kody+Ex-Wife+Mykelti+FT? Poor Meri! I felt very sad for her during this whole episode and was not a bit surprised that she barely spoke. I am sure any wedding would be hard for her given her situation, but here she had to sit through the Tony+Mykelti and Kody+Christine show and Be Excited. On camera.

I don’t mind Meri in general and typically just feel sad for her but this seemed horrible. (She is younger than my son and I think I see her from the perspective of a parent watching a kid flounder and get into situations that make her sad and not be able to figure out a good solution.) 

I understand what you are saying.... but this is Meri with the banana, who scratched "Sam" on her leg.  If ever there was a BAD situation - that was it!  But the thing about life is that we all have to figure this out for ourselves.  I don't think anyone could have saved Mykelti - they would have gone to the courthouse and been married anyway - she was old enough - her family didn't HAVE to approve or accept Tony.  Also - maybe Tony will turn out to be an ok husband despite how we've seen him act.  It's hard to say.

 

I don't really know what's going on with Meri.  She seems totally detached from a lot of the family these days.

[islandgal140]

My Tony hate grows unabashedly and exponentially with each and every episode. Where to even begin:

- I don't think anyone mentioned this but I would have liked to jump through the screen and slap the enamel off his teeth when he started his wedding vows with a definition. Like Vows mean ______ in Latin. Bitch, put some actual thought and meaning into this. Literally, the laziest most impersonal way to express the emotions and feelings you have for your bride on your wedding day is to start off with a definition from Websters. Hate!

- His wedding attire: It looked like someone tried to put a suit on the Kool Aid Man. I kept waiting for him to break through a wall and scream "Oh Yeah!" When the father of the bride is dressed better than you there is a problem.

- If he can't dress well, the least he could've done was groom himself properly. Meaning the hair on his head and his facial hair should look nice and neat. Does he do that? Nope. He looked like he just fell  out of bed, hang out with his groombros playing video games all morning then literally rolled off the couch an 1/2 hour before the wedding and got dressed. 

- When the guests started throwing frisbees, I wanted someone to say, whoever hits Tony in the face the most times with one gets an extra taco. 

- Watching him dance with Mykelti was like watching Godzilla swing around a railroad car. That fool can't dance. He makes Kody look like Fred Astaire. 

[ginger90]

21 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

I love watching episodes like this where she's melancholy--you know she's going to have to do SOMETHING to get the attention back to her (stay tuned for next week and Return of the Catfish topic).  Heaven forbid this wedding was about something else besides her and her unhappiness. "I'm sad and it's everyone else's fault." Pathetic. 

Catfish crap again/still ? 

Put a fork in it already!

[Kyanight]

19 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

Watching him dance with Mykelti was like watching Godzilla swing around a railroad car.

HA HA HA HA!!

[Tabbygirl521]

36 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

I once thought the same as you, then I looked a little closer. Meri is a mean, selfish, manipulative person who plays the "poor me" card a LOT. She's sad mostly because of choices she has made and things she has done. I love watching episodes like this where she's melancholy--you know she's going to have to do SOMETHING to get the attention back to her (stay tuned for next week and Return of the Catfish topic).  Heaven forbid this wedding was about something else besides her and her unhappiness. "I'm sad and it's everyone else's fault." Pathetic. 

I get what you’re saying but it strikes me that this behavior could easily stem from feeling ignored and unappreciated by her (ex)-“husband.” She is locked into this ridiculous belief system that tells her it is sinful to be jealous or resentful while she watches Kody bed and reproduce with 3 subsequent women. Yeah, she needs to figure out that she can leave. But it can be hard to decide to leave a family in any case - I have a friend that should probably make that decision but he stays stuck because the idea of disassembling and rebuilding a life is so daunting. Meri has the added burden of believing she will be doomed for eternity. I am truly sorry that “Sam” turned out to be fake. 

Anyway, I am way off topic but I still feel sad to think of the wedding photo she likely had to smile for. 

[Soobs]

It's episodes like this one that make me so sad that The Soup is no longer on the air.

[mytmo]

I have a Pinterest inspired wedding from Hell story.  Temperature was hot - damn hot and muggy as well.  90+ degrees.

Best fried got married in August.  I was offered the "job" of being MOH.  Turned it down because I lived out of state and could only be up there for 4 days and had to give a day to be with family.  BIG mistake.

Best friend got her other best friend to be MOH.  I arrived there 2 days before ceremony.  Spent the obligatory day with the family.  Took the Bride out for drinks at the local casino.  Was told the MOH was throwing a sleepover party and space was limited.  Did not go.  No love lost between me and MOH.

At the casino asked by Bride if I could help with a few things at the reception hall.  Agreed and showed up there 5 hours prior to the ceremony thinking plenty o time to help and get prepared and relax with the Bride.  So wrong - so very wrong.

Waited an hour for MOH to show up with keys to reception hall.  She is unloading crap as if Hobby Lobby threw up all over in her mini van.  3 other people - 1 man, 2 - 12 year olds are there to set up tables and chairs for 250 people.  The hard labor begins.  Find out the hard way the freakin AC does not work.  Someone should've at least checked I don't know 2 days prior when they got the keys if everything worked and I don't know set up tables?  Anyway Bride leaves to get something can't remember think it was the marriage license.  Venue is literally in the middle of nowhere.  Everything takes as least an hour travel time.  MOH is ordering us motley crew around to decorate this hot box with lights, bows, fake flowers, etc.  Place still looked really depressing or maybe that was my attitude.  Kept motivated by thinking  I will have chilled wine at the reception and forget all about this Hell.

MOH bellows out you got 45 minutes to get ready before we have to leave for the Church.  I get roped into stuffing people and I mean stuff into their dresses.  I now have 15 minutes.  Do the best I can.  Humidity destroys any makeup and hair styling I attempt.  MOH has someone show up last minute to do her hair and makeup.

Get into the rental car mistakenly getting a compact.  Was told you need to transport the Bride.  You know those episodes of My Big Gypsy Wedding where all you see in the vehicle is satin and tulle?  Yep we were the wedding clown car on our way to the weddin.

Church is packed.  No AC again.  Continuation and preview of what is yet to come.  Late cause I could not find the GPS in that sea of wedding finery and being in BFwhatever country you choose. I drop off the Bride and attempt to find a parking spot.  Almost rolled the compact rental car in a ditch in order to park.  Made it inside.  Made it through the ceremony.  Made it through pictures.  Was ordered to get back to the reception hall asap cause I have to serve the meal.  Yes serve the meal.

Driving back to the reception hall seriously contemplated to keep on going to Canada.  Not far and at that time no passports needed.  Arrive.  Hall still hot as Hell.  Brides daughter is slinging spaghetti in large trays.  MOH was barking orders.  I'm on bringing trays of food to the buffet patrol.  The people kept coming and coming.  Way beyond the 250 expected.  They did not stop.  Was informed that's how they do here - no invitation - no presents - no assistance.  I even had "guests" bitch on status of arrival of food and beverages.  Yep still in Bridesmaid dress but ordered around like a Hebrew slave.  After the last complaint I went to find my chilled bottle of wine.  No wine opener.  The kindness of a stranger (in this case an angel) appeared and figured out a way to uncork.  Before I can even pour a glass the MOH bellows out need more garlic bread and back to work I go.

Things slow down.  Food all gone.  Exhausted.  Mad.  Starved.  I never put up a fuss because I did not want to cause any trouble for the Bride.  Told Bride had a headache (I escalated to a migraine) and went back to my motel (yes motel) room.  It is 9:00 pm on a Saturday night in August and am told all the restaurants are closed - even the pizza place.  Dinner consisted of whatever was in a vending machine split between myself, a Pilot and the last flight crew of the evening from the local airport.

Lesson learned?  Never be in a wedding ever again!  Thanks for indulging me.  This was cathartic.

[Emma C]

Here is how I bought my wedding dress: amazon.com -> search wedding dresses -> first link, click, price $100, add to cart. Done and done. (This is a totally true story- I HATE shopping).

My 3 bridesmaids (my bff, my sister, my sister-in-law) purchased their own black "cocktail" dress, whatever dress they wanted, could afford, and was flattering.

The day of, the girls had the option of going to a salon for getting their hair did. I went off by myself for a head-clearing workout. Later I did my own hair and make up. The wedding was outdoors at the end of September (perfect), in a flower garden (money saver!). We had an open bar (beer and wine... because free liquor = bad things). We had passable apps for the guests during the bridal photos. Then a full buffet, and nary a taco in sight!

We did not have a pinata. :(

As we left the reception, everyone blew bubbles at us!

[Mothra]

My GOD this episode gave me such a headache!  I just sat down and watched it all soup to nuts and sweet Jebus what a shitstorm.  I agree with everyone's critical remarks and have a few thoughts I didn't see expressed yet:

The "wedding" pinatas--several people who should know said they'd never seen them at a wedding, and somebody else posted that they're all over the internet.  So they're being used for something besides kids' birthday parties.  I bet they're used at bridal showers/bachelorette parties.

The bridesmaids' dresses were lovely; Myk should have had a dress in a similar style, only in white.  Christine's dress was pretty, but that little shrug jacket thing was eight sizes too small and looked stupid and uncomfortable.

Myk said that the bridesmaids had pashminas (not caplets), and I did see them wearing shawlish things after the ceremony.  But pashminas?  I don't think so.

Because it cannot be said often enough:  FT is an asshole.

The overgrown flower girl bothered me, too, especially wearing that toddler-type outfit.  I was embarrassed for her.  If the little ones needed supervision, let her wear a bridesmaid dress. 

When they're sitting on the couch talking, what is that black cloth thing--like a curtain--hanging on the other side of the coffee table?  Do they not want us to see Meri, Robyn and Christine's ankles?  Kody's?  Because we sure get to see enough of Janelle's ankles.

FT is an asshole, and I kinda think his father might be, too, just because the hat.

Kody seemed to be wearing blue pants with his gray-and-black dinner jacket.  Are we sure he didn't wear jeans, too?

Myk has clown eyebrows.

I really liked Robyn's yellow blazer.

FT is an asshole.

[Gothish520]

6 hours ago, MrSmith said:

Fair enough. My wife was somewhat insecure when I met her, largely because she weighed about 350 pounds. I probably spent the first five years of our relationship patiently reassuring, complimenting, and supporting her, and that solved that problem. When she fractured her kneecap at work in 2002, I realized she needed help adjusting to not working outside the home and having a paycheck anymore. I had to help her change her "currency" from "I earn a paycheck" to "I take pride in running the house", which was largely about showing my appreciation for the fact she was keeping the house clean, doing the shopping, making meals, and etc.

I just think that parents don't have enough conversations with their children about how to choose a mate (of whichever gender to which they are oriented) and create a successful, long-lasting relationship. For example, my youngest sister-in-law has said for years that she wants to find someone who supports and cares for her like I support and care for her sister. So she knows where she wants to get to, so to speak, but I don't think she really has the map to get there from where she is. She's spent the last 10 years fucking, by turns, three of the biggest losers you'd probably ever meet that travel in her circle of friends and naturally ended up pregnant by one of the least mature of the three. I feel like I'm going to have to talk to her a little bit about it, which I've not yet done because it's always felt like I'm over-stepping.

You can talk until you are blue in the face - people are going to do what they are going to do. There is not one damn thing that Kody or any of the family could do to stop Mykelti from marrying Tony. Not One Thing.

It's fine to try and help loved ones and be there for them - no harm in trying. But it's been my experience that people will still do what feels right to them at the time. 

[Kohola3]

10 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

You can talk until you are blue in the face - people are going to do what they are going to do. There is not one damn thing that Kody or any of the family could do to stop Mykelti from marrying Tony. Not One Thing.

I think you are correct in saying that you can talk but it won't help.  Most parents of teenagers know that it's best to put on a bland face even if you hate the boyfriend/girlfriend because that will make him or her even more desirable.

However, I do really wonder what would have happened if the Brown Clowns had refused to provide the Wedding from Hell.  Without the big blowout TV exposure, would they have gotten married?  Famewhores both which makes me take pause on that.  Live together, maybe. 

Like most toddlers throwing tantrums, once the object has been denied and the tantrum doesn't work, the kid moves on to something else bright and shiny.

[Tabbygirl521]

38 minutes ago, mytmo said:

I have a Pinterest inspired wedding from Hell story.  Temperature was hot - damn hot and muggy as well.  90+ degrees.

Best fried got married in August.  I was offered the "job" of being MOH.  Turned it down because I lived out of state and could only be up there for 4 days and had to give a day to be with family.  BIG mistake.

Best friend got her other best friend to be MOH.  I arrived there 2 days before ceremony.  Spent the obligatory day with the family.  Took the Bride out for drinks at the local casino.  Was told the MOH was throwing a sleepover party and space was limited.  Did not go.  No love lost between me and MOH.

At the casino asked by Bride if I could help with a few things at the reception hall.  Agreed and showed up there 5 hours prior to the ceremony thinking plenty o time to help and get prepared and relax with the Bride.  So wrong - so very wrong.

Waited an hour for MOH to show up with keys to reception hall.  She is unloading crap as if Hobby Lobby threw up all over in her mini van.  3 other people - 1 man, 2 - 12 year olds are there to set up tables and chairs for 250 people.  The hard labor begins.  Find out the hard way the freakin AC does not work.  Someone should've at least checked I don't know 2 days prior when they got the keys if everything worked and I don't know set up tables?  Anyway Bride leaves to get something can't remember think it was the marriage license.  Venue is literally in the middle of nowhere.  Everything takes as least an hour travel time.  MOH is ordering us motley crew around to decorate this hot box with lights, bows, fake flowers, etc.  Place still looked really depressing or maybe that was my attitude.  Kept motivated by thinking  I will have chilled wine at the reception and forget all about this Hell.

MOH bellows out you got 45 minutes to get ready before we have to leave for the Church.  I get roped into stuffing people and I mean stuff into their dresses.  I now have 15 minutes.  Do the best I can.  Humidity destroys any makeup and hair styling I attempt.  MOH has someone show up last minute to do her hair and makeup.

Get into the rental car mistakenly getting a compact.  Was told you need to transport the Bride.  You know those episodes of My Big Gypsy Wedding where all you see in the vehicle is satin and tulle?  Yep we were the wedding clown car on our way to the weddin.

Church is packed.  No AC again.  Continuation and preview of what is yet to come.  Late cause I could not find the GPS in that sea of wedding finery and being in BFwhatever country you choose. I drop off the Bride and attempt to find a parking spot.  Almost rolled the compact rental car in a ditch in order to park.  Made it inside.  Made it through the ceremony.  Made it through pictures.  Was ordered to get back to the reception hall asap cause I have to serve the meal.  Yes serve the meal.

Driving back to the reception hall seriously contemplated to keep on going to Canada.  Not far and at that time no passports needed.  Arrive.  Hall still hot as Hell.  Brides daughter is slinging spaghetti in large trays.  MOH was barking orders.  I'm on bringing trays of food to the buffet patrol.  The people kept coming and coming.  Way beyond the 250 expected.  They did not stop.  Was informed that's how they do here - no invitation - no presents - no assistance.  I even had "guests" bitch on status of arrival of food and beverages.  Yep still in Bridesmaid dress but ordered around like a Hebrew slave.  After the last complaint I went to find my chilled bottle of wine.  No wine opener.  The kindness of a stranger (in this case an angel) appeared and figured out a way to uncork.  Before I can even pour a glass the MOH bellows out need more garlic bread and back to work I go.

Things slow down.  Food all gone.  Exhausted.  Mad.  Starved.  I never put up a fuss because I did not want to cause any trouble for the Bride.  Told Bride had a headache (I escalated to a migraine) and went back to my motel (yes motel) room.  It is 9:00 pm on a Saturday night in August and am told all the restaurants are closed - even the pizza place.  Dinner consisted of whatever was in a vending machine split between myself, a Pilot and the last flight crew of the evening from the local airport.

Lesson learned?  Never be in a wedding ever again!  Thanks for indulging me.  This was cathartic.

Absolutely unforgivable. I am so sorry you experienced that mess!

[suzeecat]

22 minutes ago, Mothra said:

The "wedding" pinatas--several people who should know said they'd never seen them at a wedding, and somebody else posted that they're all over the internet.  So they're being used for something besides kids' birthday parties.  I bet they're used at bridal showers/bachelorette parties.

Divorce parties?

[Tabbygirl521]

I just remembered that Christine said the piñatas were made to look like M and FT. FAIL. 

I have been googling bride and groom piñatas and I guess they are a thing, but other than piñatas in general being Mexican, I don’t find evidence that bashing your new spouse in efffigy is a Mexican custom. Still searching...

[ghoulina]

5 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Oh . . . one question.  Other than the song "Let Me Call You Sweetheart," can someone tell me anything "vintage" about this "Mexican vintage" wedding?

My ability to give a fuck. 

[Kohola3]

3 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I don’t mind Meri in general and typically just feel sad for her but this seemed horrible. (She is younger than my son and I think I see her from the perspective of a parent watching a kid flounder and get into situations that make her sad and not be able to figure out a good solution.) 

But Meri isn't a kid, she's a grown woman who has made one bad decision after another and refuses to learn from any of them.  Her modus operandi is to either lie about it, attempt to deflect blame, or totally ignore truths that she can't possible hide (see banana episode). 

She agreed to the whole sister wife circus and then proceeded to torture the first on board.  Karma is a bitch and she's reaping what she's sown after all of these years.

[Kyanight]

7 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I just remembered that Christine said the piñatas were made to look like M and FT. FAIL. 

I have been googling bride and groom piñatas and I guess they are a thing, but other than piñatas in general being Mexican, I don’t find evidence that bashing your new spouse in efffigy is a Mexican custom. Still searching...

I have never heard of such a thing - I will be amazed if you find anything!      Is it just me or does anyone else try to say "Polygamexicamist" every time you open up this board?  That's a tough word to pronounce!  lol

[ghoulina]

3 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

FT should have gotten his FA down to the venue and helped set up at 7 in the morning but he refused! Mykelty tried to spin it that she was the one that didn't want him there because he wouldn't know what to do, but I don't buy that for a minute! He's lazy and immature and didn't want to help set up for his magical unicorn day. Just wanted to show up and stuff his maw with community cake. 

He and stupid brosmen  (gag) were playing video games all day. What a joke. 

[Mothra]

27 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

Divorce parties?

Bingo.

[Kohola3]

15 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Is it just me or does anyone else try to say "Polygamexicamist" every time you open up this board? 

Hee!  I've tried but it always deteriorates into supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  Which this crapfest was definitely not.

[Mothra]

On 2/12/2018 at 1:30 PM, MrSmith said:

You've gotta love Starcasm. This picture really shows just how stupid and stupid-looking these two really are. Perfect!

 

Okay.  This is the shallowest, most mean-spirited thing I'm going to say about these two:  where in the HELL did they get the self-confidence to present themselves to the world looking like they do and seeming so pleased with themselves about it?  It must say something really good about growing up in a polygamous family for Myk to think she looks good, and I'm not just talking about this awful picture.  I mean, how do you instill that kind of self-esteem?  Does it take four mothers?  FT didn't have four mothers, but men tend to believe they're hot shit until someone sits them down and explains to them otherwise, so I'm not crediting Catholicism for his bloated self-confidence.  Every one of these kids that I've seen on TV comes off as totally pleased with their looks and behavior, confident in their judgments and intelligence.  Are they not allowed to see other people their own age throughout their childhoods?  I swear to god, if you could bottle it, you'd make a million dollars.

[DragonFaerie]

On February 12, 2018 at 10:05 AM, beeziebee said:

A little bit off topic, but has anyone seen the Geico commercial that features the family at the aquarium viewing the manatees?  One of the manatees is wearing a tee shirt that says "Did someone say tacos?", and another wears a tee that says, "Come at me bro".  I'm sorry, but all I can think of is FT when I see these commercials.  Is it the tacos?  Is it the manatees?  Is it the use of the term "bro"?  I don't really know, but now I can't see that commercial without thinking of FT and what an ass he is.  Manatees, clothed or otherwise, are adorable.

I'm running around the house doing numerous things with the Olympics on the tv in the background.   The Manatee Geico commercial came on and all I can think of is - Hey, there's FT on the left in the taco t-shirt!

[DragonFaerie]

6 hours ago, gardendiva said:

The 20 year old scotch I would have to have in a flask to make it through this debacle.

And now I know who I'm sitting by at this fiasco.  :-)  My flask will have good Irish Whiskey.

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

So I couldn’t keep my attention on the logistics of how they were going to pose for photos. But did I understand that they were going to take shots of the happy couple with each of the subfamilies: The Padrons, and then Kody+Wife+Their Kids x 4? Because was Mariah even there? So one shot would be Kody+Ex-Wife+Mykelti+FT? Poor Meri! I felt very sad for her during this whole episode and was not a bit surprised that she barely spoke. I am sure any wedding would be hard for her given her situation, but here she had to sit through the Tony+Mykelti and Kody+Christine show and Be Excited. On camera.

I don’t mind Meri in general and typically just feel sad for her but this seemed horrible. (She is younger than my son and I think I see her from the perspective of a parent watching a kid flounder and get into situations that make her sad and not be able to figure out a good solution.) 

I just don't get it though. Meri's been there from Day One with all of these kids - hasn't she formed any kind of bond with them? I would think she'd have plenty to talk about with all of the older kids, at least. As well as Robyn, even though they aren't as close as they once were.

I think the distance is Meri's own doing. Certainly the catfish situation didn't help her relationship with the family.

[Kyanight]

2 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

And now I know who I'm sitting by at this fiasco.  :-)  My flask will have good Irish Whiskey.

Neither of you want to sit next to me.  I hate the cold and I would be pissy.  And then if I didn't get any TACOS because they ran out?  It would not be pretty.  But at least you could see me try to bean FT in the head with my little mini frisbee!