S09.E05: PolygaMexicamist Wedding

[sandyskyblue]

I would beat the livin s**t out of the Tony pinata

[Quilty]

WERE THERE ENOUGH TACOS??! I don't think this question was answered.

[AllyCat]

7 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

Mykelti looks horrified watching her piñata be beaten 

Perhaps she is realizing it's a glimpse into her future.

[riverblue22]

Christine needs to get a grip on the histrionics.  It's not cute, Christine, and greatly annoys your husband.

ETA:  Didn't they say at the time that they ran out of tacos?  I guess 300 people skipped the wedding and showed up just for the reception.

Edited February 12, 2018 by riverblue22

[sandyskyblue]

No snark: I thought Christine looked beautiful!

1 minute ago, Quilty said:

WERE THERE ENOUGH TACOS??! I don't think this question was answered.

Seems to me that one of the wives (not sure if it was on social media or the show) said they ran out of tacos, can anyone confirm??

[JustDuckie]

Ok Christine - that singing is a sign of acceptance? Really? If you say so..........

[ThinkerBell]

21 minutes ago, trimthatfat said:

OMG...this dance is what nightmares are made of. Tony almost yanked Mykelti's arm off and her tits almost popped out.

That's probably what he was going for. That 'dance' was was one of the more embarrassing 'Hey, look at me!" moments of that wedding . . . and there were many.

[cereality]

Well that was a shitshow of a wedding.

Lazy ass Tony couldn't wear actual PANTS?? You want to be open collar -- whatever (though it's dumb) -- but are suit pants that much more uncomfortable than jeans?? And despite this he critiqued her hair?? Even when you dot get something your way re a wedding (in this case -- her hair down), you as the groom STILL say it was perfect/it was great bc that's what the bride wanted etc. So he HAD to let it be known that her hair wasn't REALLY down bc it was half up-half down.

And the two of them are completely thoughtless. To have 500 people outside in high 30 degree temps with gusting winds -- so probably like wind chills in the 20s bc you MUST have an outdoor wedding in Dec. -- WTF!? And I love all the parents bitching about the cold but then finding "positives" esp Christine -- like awwww what everyone will always remember about the ceremony is how he took his jacket off for her and that means he'll always take care of her. Um -- he could've taken care of her by vetoing an outdoor wedding, groomzilla that he is. And Janelle posted the same gushy thing on Twitter re how she knows Maddie is so taken care of bc Caleb jumped up during the ceremony and put a blanket around Maddie. Uh yeah -- who doesn't want a wedding pic with everyone shivering under blankets . . . . Later bridezilla INSISTS on family pics inside and it's even colder and she tells her siblings, just take the blankets off. Um -- again -- that'll be a great family pic with everyone under the covers.

When they were beating pinatas and dancing later they were in a (small) tent that was heated -- so I've fairly sure the venue could've done a LARGE tent for the ceremony if you needed to be outside. OR they could've gone classy on the whole thing -- men in wool suits + black overcoats, all guests keeping coats on, and bride/bridesmaids in dresses but with smaller coats up top so you could see the skirt part but the top would be woolen coats. But I suspect that'd be too "British" for the kind of groom who wears jeans . . . .

[JustDuckie]

Mykelti gonna go HAM on the FT pinata? Yesssss.

[kicotan]

HOW does cutting up your wedding dress and making flowers out of it for the bridal bouquet that your daughter will keep forever = something borrowed?

Anybody?

[JustDuckie]

1 minute ago, kicotan said:

HOW does cutting up your wedding dress and making flowers out of it for the bridal bouquet that your daughter will keep forever = something borrowed?

Anybody?

Christine cutting up that wedding dress was the kindest thing she could have done to it. My God, that was one ugly dress. Sorry, but we all know it.

[Evenshorter]

2 minutes ago, kicotan said:

HOW does cutting up your wedding dress and making flowers out of it for the bridal bouquet that your daughter will keep forever = something borrowed?

Anybody?

Wondered the same thing. Cause it's not like she's giving them back. Straight up something old.

[toodles]

No more sinGGing ever Christine.  Ever.

[kicotan]

Just now, JustDuckie said:

Christine cutting up that wedding dress was the kindest thing she could have done to it. My God, that was one ugly dress. Sorry, but we all know it.

Totally agree!!!  It was hideous.  She'd have looked better in a burqua.

my nit-picky nature just wonders how Christine decided that it fit into the "borrowed" category.  She should have swapped with Robin for the "old" category. ?

[DragonFaerie]

8 minutes ago, kicotan said:

HOW does cutting up your wedding dress and making flowers out of it for the bridal bouquet that your daughter will keep forever = something borrowed?

Anybody?

I still say Christine should have given that horrific dress to Mykelti to use for her wedding, thereby saving the money on a wedding dress and it would be borrowed.  That would serve the selfish bitty right.  That dress was awful.

[JustDuckie]

1 minute ago, kicotan said:

Totally agree!!!  It was hideous.  She'd have looked better in a burqua.

my nit-picky nature just wonders how Christine decided that it fit into the "borrowed" category.  She should have swapped with Robin for the "old" category. ?

Maybe the "bridal wish" has changed? Something old, something new, something ugly, something borrowed, something blue. Christine;s dress surely fit into one of them...

[toodles]

The wedding was just magnanimous-™Fat Tony

Omg, this was just too much.  The whole thing. 

I don't remember what Gwen said, but she had a great snarky comment.  My favorite Brown by far.

[LucyEth]

Still don't understand why Ysabel and Gwendolyn were not bridesmaids.  They are certainly old enough, Robin's nieces were bridesmaids, just seems odd.

[answerphone]

My guess why there's fewer people at the ceremony; the ones with common sense stayed inside and watched thru the windows from a heated room!

[kicotan]

Fellow fashionistas:

I'm sorry but I just can't believe with THAT many female family members...no one could see fit to tell Mykelti that the dress she picked was

a) not flattering.  It showcased her back fat hanging over the back of the garment and other than that looked like something one of the wives could have put together over the weekend.

b) not modest.  Tony is LDS, his family is Catholic and her family's religion is also modest. Why do a strapless number with cleavage?

C) the wrong choice for windy/cold December Utah outdoor wedding.

[Galloway Cave]

3 minutes ago, kicotan said:

C) the wrong choice for windy/cold December Utah outdoor wedding.

Janelle gave her a beautiful faux fur wrap. The maid of honor could have carried it with her and after Mykelti walked up front, showing off the dress, she could have put it on and not have to either freeze (splotchy red arms and back) or wear FT's big sloppy jacket. 

Or she could have been reasonable and moved the ceremony inside.

[VedaPierce]

One hour and 5 minutes into the show, Meri FINALLY decides to participate and speak. She brayed something about liking the frisbees. What the hell is she getting payed for? Useless Meri brings as much to the show as she does to her sisterwives.

Edited February 12, 2018 by VedaPierce

[kicotan]

2 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

Janelle gave her a beautiful faux fur wrap. The maid of honor could have carried it with her and after Mykelti walked up front, showing off the dress, she could have put it on and not have to either freeze (splotchy red arms and back) or wear FT's big sloppy jacket. 

Or she could have been reasonable and moved the ceremony inside.

Indeed!!!  I thought that was a GREAT idea on Janelle's part.

Im really baffled as to why, for multiple reasons, her multiple moms, dad, fiancée, upbringing, siblings wouldn't have encouraged her to do a more modest/winter themed gown.  

[crazycatlady58]

2 minutes ago, kicotan said:

Indeed!!!  I thought that was a GREAT idea on Janelle's part.

Im really baffled as to why, for multiple reasons, her multiple moms, dad, fiancée, upbringing, siblings wouldn't have encouraged her to do a more modest/winter themed gown.  

If she is like some of my family  the more you talked to her about it the more bullhead  she would  be about doing it her way.

[VedaPierce]

So as the translator translated the ceremony, thank goodness Kody let us all know that the ceremony was being translated. I just could not for the life of me understand what it was I was hearing...someone kept speaking in another language, into a microphone, in front of the bride and groom, at the same time as the officiant. Crazy! If it wasn't for Kody explaining that, I would still be befuddled. Eye roll.

[Janc]

So did Tony dig into every cake with his fork to try them all out. Omg

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, trimthatfat said:

OMG...this dance is what nightmares are made of. Tony almost yanked Mykelti's arm off and her tits almost popped out.

Then Christine says after dancing with FT "Tony is a really good dancer, I had trouble keeping up with him".  Christine is going wayyyyyyy overboard with the Tony love. 

8 minutes ago, Janc said:

So did Tony dig into every cake with his fork to try them all out. Omg

Classless disgusting slob. 

[Sandy W]

2 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

So the guests require hats, jackets, and blankets, and that still wasn't enough to convince Mykelti to take the wedding indoors. Ugh!

Where are the 400 guests, Tony?

It looked more like 200 guests to me...and yet, they ran out of tacos...does that mean the guests, including small children averaged 20 tacos per person.

[tabloidlover]

It looked like maybe 100 for the ceremony and then the town showed up for tacos and left.   That tent didn’t hold too many people for dancing, and the main area was emptied out. 

In  the People magazine article, they claimed over 400 and they ran out of the 4000 tacos ??‍♀️

Edited February 12, 2018 by tabloidlover

[mamey2422]

On 2/11/2018 at 11:07 PM, VedaPierce said:

One hour and 5 minutes into the show, Meri FINALLY decides to participate and speak. She brayed something about liking the frisbees. What the hell is she getting payed for? Useless Meri brings as much to the show as she does to her sisterwives.

 

Meri seems so bored and annoyed. Did you notice her leg tapping, like she can’t wait to get out of there. 

There was a lot of talk of marriage so she may have felt uncomfortable given how terrible her marriage with Kody is right now. 

Edited February 18, 2018 by mamey2422

[VedaPierce]

At the end of the ceremony, when Paedon welcomes tony to the family, Paedon says, "you're now one of us", Tony start chanting "one of us, one of us", the iconic chant from the closing scene in the classic, creepy movie Freaks. How apropos...

[bichonblitz]

Daddy Brown was not happy with Mykelti's dress. 

[For Cereals]

Is TLC trying to find the replacement for this show?  Every other commercial is about polygamists.

So most of the bros wore actual pants but not FT?  He could barely walk in those jeans, but maybe that’s his usual limited movement.  With all the other tacky going on (that arch), the bridesmaids’ dresses weren’t awful.

It was just thoughtless to make everyone sit in the cold.

The cake with the fork just gross.  Use the knife and get a plate!

That dance was horrendous!  It’s like he knew one move then throw/hurl...not even Latin, like a bad swing step that took “swing” too literally.

They all keep saying how perfect he is and how he gets her, but what do they think of her?  I would honestly be insulted, like it’s a joke Mykelti took too far to spite them.

[Maire]

Poor Mykelti, she's no prize but dealing with Fat Tony is going to get old real fast. That wedding looked like a hot mess, did they only serve tacos and cake?? Every element was weird/tacky. The wedding planner deserves a medal for wrangling those idiots. 

[Yeah No]

4 minutes ago, For Cereals said:

Is TLC trying to find the replacement for this show?  Every other commercial is about polygamists.

You and I posted the same thought at the same time in different threads!  I just said something like that in the speculation thread.  How many polyg. shows have they tried in the past few years that have failed, too?  They must really want to replace this show by now!

[Morgalisa]

The way FT was digging into that cake, slinging Mykelti around the dance floor, beating her in effigy, and wanting to stuff cake in her face, I dont have high hopes for the wedding night. Just sayin. Poor Mykelti.

[Kyanight]

I have to say - the singing.  Wow.  Just wow.   You know - I cannot sing.  Can't carry a tune. But I KNOW this.  Why does SHE not know how awful she sounds?  And her daughter said she should have become a professional singer?  What the heck?  Why is NO ONE honest in that family?   I seriously was cringing at how flat and off-key she was... and I am not even saying this to be snarky!  That's just the truth.

[riverblue22]

Tony looked so, so bad in his sloppy outfit.  The "brosmen" were better dressed in nice gray slacks.  It's a shame because he would have looked so much better in a tux or a nice three-piece suit.  Those pictures are forever.  Yuck!  The bridesmaid's dresses were nice.

The family knows how obstinate and difficult Mykelti is to deal with.  I'm sure Kody is glad just to hand her off to someone else.

[VedaPierce]

I could not get through that wedding sober. If I was a guest at that crap fest, I would have to be very loaded.

[bichonblitz]

29 minutes ago, Morgalisa said:

The way FT was digging into that cake, slinging Mykelti around the dance floor, beating her in effigy, and wanting to stuff cake in her face, I dont have high hopes for the wedding night. Just sayin. Poor Mykelti.

If all that is any indication of how Tony is in the bedroom, then yeah, he must be some rough rider! I agree, Poor Mykelti!!

Edited February 12, 2018 by bichonblitz

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, ThinkerBell said:

That's probably what he was going for. That 'dance' was was one of the more embarrassing 'Hey, look at me!" moments of that wedding . . . and there were many.

 Did ANYONE ELSE notice how when Mykelti was walking down the aisle, Tony was looked at the CAMERA and fixing his hair????

[For Cereals]

6 minutes ago, Morgalisa said:

The way FT was digging into that cake, slinging Mykelti around the dance floor, beating her in effigy, and wanting to stuff cake in her face, I dont have high hopes for the wedding night. Just sayin. Poor Mykelti.

Just threw up a little in my mouth...bad imagery of being poked and prodded in terrible ways...him giggling BEWBS!

[VedaPierce]

The image of them wailing on the piñata in mykelty's effigy as it hung from the ceiling was beyond. Disturbing. I don't care how hard Kody fake-laughs while describing it....it was in horrible taste and grisly. There are so many women beaten and killed by their husbands, that if I saw that at my baby girls' wedding, I think I would find it appalling and unforgivable. It was gross. They are idiots.

[athousandclowns]

I've been reading while waiting for it to start in the west coat. I'm speechless. As a retired floral  designer I do believe I'll have nightmares about this tacky ass circus.  My personal  favorite so far?  Gray polyester flowers and giant boutonnièrs on  the poor  brosmen.   What a spoiled Ill mannered brat FT is.   I think I'll need to take a PBS break so my brain doesn't turn into grape jelly. 

[Misslindsey]

Quote

Im really baffled as to why, for multiple reasons, her multiple moms, dad, fiancée, upbringing, siblings wouldn't have encouraged her to do a more modest/winter themed gown.  

I missed the wedding dress shopping/trying on scene from one of the earlier episodes, but wasn't Tony at the dress shopping? Did he give his input? Mykelti seems to defer to him a lot.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Misslindsey

[VedaPierce]

3 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

I'm sorry, but the bouquets look hideous. 

I assumed that Meri's gift was going to be a pair of blue Lularoe leggings.

Love Robyn's gift. I'm a sucker for vintage jewelry.

Hideous. And they were falling apart immediately.  Mykelty said so herself.

[VedaPierce]

3 hours ago, Pollo Loco said:

Anybody know which song was playing during the wedding walk?

FT is being an ass during the vows. As evidenced by her shhhh at him. 

Totally. He didn't shut up the whole time! Immature jerk. Getting married is serious and kind of a big deal, take it seriously or at least pretend to, you doofus! 

Edited February 12, 2018 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

3 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

A frisbee of love? Now I've seen everything.

The jacket gesture is the first gesture I have ever seen Tony make that was actually nice.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. 

[Wings]

That was a crazy wedding but it is what they wanted and that is how it is supposed to be.  Tony was nervous thus the talking.  

[VedaPierce]

3 hours ago, LucyEth said:

OMG enough already especially from Christine, she acts like they are the first couple to get married and they have something no other married couple has, she is being ridiculous.

Overcompensating with the compliments. Deep down she hates FT like the rest of us.

3 hours ago, Mimiray802 said:

I think she is overcompensating and trying to convince herself that the marriage is a good idea.

Omg! JUST typed SAME THING! Lol man, are we good at calling this, or what? Lol lol