S22.E01: Week 1: Premiere

[dleighg]

another peeve I had was so many of the girls carefully pulled their long long hair around their shoulders. Then from the back you've got this silly part and bare back that looks ridiculous. I guess they needed to learn the trick of carefully flicking their hair back before leaving, so they get a glamorous look coming AND going LOL. Hooray for Bekah's short no-nonsense hairstyle. I do think she has the most stunning look of all of them. Although Jacqueline is also a stand-out.

[nutty1]

52 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

I still remember the time the guy called out the wrong name. Forget who it was and who he called (because they are all interchangeable to me), but OMG that moment was gold. We need more of that. 

Wasn't it Jesse Palmer?

[JudyObscure]

Oh yes!  That picture of  Betty Becca Boop, should have a cartoon bubble coming out of her mouth saying, "Aren't I just the cutest?" She goes way past my perkiness threshold.

I wanted to like Krystal because of her homeless brother.  We had a family member go missing for a while and yes, we looked, yes we checked with friends and relatives,  yes we filed a missing person report, and hell yes we worried.    When someone decides to go off the grid, either because of drug addiction or mental illness, it can take a years to find them, they don't have phones or mailboxes. He was finally spotted in another state by some very on the ball mounted police. They stayed quietly close to him, not approaching him for fear of frightening him off, until his father arrived.  Once he was brought home and started on medication his life straightened out and he's had a good life with a steady job for the last 15 years -- without those good police I don't think he would ever have been found.

Arie just didn't seem that impressed with Krystal though.  I think it's her lack of body fat that makes her face look older than it is.  There's just something about a soft baby voice coming from a muscular  body with grapefruit biceps that seems very weird to me.

Chelsea may prove to be our most boring villain yet.  At least Corinne had a nanny and watching her wobble in her spike heels was fun.

[Stan39]

Liking the season so far, but a lot of that is I like this group of girls. It seems like every season the Bachelor eliminates some gorgeous women on the first night that we don't ever get to meet, only to scratch our heads back home. I know it's about more than looks, but when you're looking to whittle things down from 29 to 25, maybe keep the shy, quiet hot ones around just to see? This year I guess it was Lauren G (the striking blonde in the white dress we saw each time the camera focused on Marquel). Didn't really see any screen time, but every time they showed her I wanted to see more of her. 

 

I don't know anything about Ariel, but after reading about this show from the old IMDB boards I don't think he has a front runner right now. Chelsea is clearly a plant by the producer, and he was probably told to give her the first impression rose if he didn't connect with anyone naturally. Now, expect her to get the first 1:1 date, make all the girls jealous, then watch her get hysterical as Arie takes other girls on dates and she feels their connection slipping. I really wish this show wasn't so predictable. But it does look like they opened up the purse strings on the budget! Peru! Europe! Some random dessert! It will at least be a good looking show to watch for awhile!

[ByTor]

12 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Arie just didn't seem that impressed with Krystal though.

This is the 1st time in ages that I'm spoiler-free, and I have Krystal for the win LOL.  I guess it was the dramatic, swelling music she got on her entrance.

[Soobs]

I am so excited that there is a contestant with short hair! I think it's a first, but I might be wrong. I'm rooting for her. I hope she'll be the mane girl, lol!

The real estate agent who said that she didn't come all this way to be sent home was from Newport Beach, literally an hour away.

I like Ari. He's good looking and I think he'll be respectful. I also think he's boring and has bad taste in women. He told the girl with the phony, breathy, little girl voice that her voice was soothing. I mean... no.

[Mabinogia]

8 minutes ago, Stan39 said:

Chelsea is clearly a plant by the producer, and he was probably told to give her the first impression rose if he didn't connect with anyone naturally.

That's my hope, because she didn't seem that great but oh the buttons it will push if the one who got TWO one on one moments with him gets the first impression rose. These producers have been doing this long enough to know exactly which girl getting the FIR is going to cause the most angst. Rewarding her aggressive behavior will also likely inspire others to be a lot pushier leading to more DRAMA!!!! and if production does it right, catfights. That FIR had production written all over it. I'm not sure who I think he would have given it to since I can't tell any of them apart yet. Except short haired girl because of the short hair (smart move on her part, not getting extensions) who  I think could have gotten it since I didn't see any real instant connection with any of them yet. He seems dazzled by all the Crest White Strips and InStyler waves and Victoria's Secret push up bras. 

1 minute ago, Soobs said:

The real estate agent who said that she didn't come all this way to be sent home was from Newport Beach, literally an hour away.

Haha, IDK why but that just made me crack up! Oh, these drama queens!

[Stan39]

7 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

That's my hope, because she didn't seem that great but oh the buttons it will push if the one who got TWO one on one moments with him gets the first impression rose. These producers have been doing this long enough to know exactly which girl getting the FIR is going to cause the most angst. Rewarding her aggressive behavior will also likely inspire others to be a lot pushier leading to more DRAMA!!!! and if production does it right, catfights. That FIR had production written all over it. I'm not sure who I think he would have given it to since I can't tell any of them apart yet. Except short haired girl because of the short hair (smart move on her part, not getting extensions) who  I think could have gotten it since I didn't see any real instant connection with any of them yet. He seems dazzled by all the Crest White Strips and InStyler waves and Victoria's Secret push up bras. 

Haha, IDK why but that just made me crack up! Oh, these drama queens!

I'm having trouble telling them apart, too, but at least there's variety this time. A lot of beautiful women with different looks, rather than just 25 bottle blondes. 

 

So far my faves are: Marikh, Becca (the one who got Arie to propose to her), Caroline (her body looked insane in that dress), and Seine.  And, while I don't know if I could be around her for very long, there's something sweet and endearing about Jenna. 

[GracieK]

Count me among those who aren't that impressed with Bekah. She seems phony and very camera aware to me. Also her teeth look dingy and I found that distracting.  While I'm not a fan of blindingly white oversized veneers, maybe get a cleaning and throw on a few Crest whitening strips before your big reality show debut!

[JudyObscure]

22 minutes ago, ByTor said:

This is the 1st time in ages that I'm spoiler-free, and I have Krystal for the win LOL.  I guess it was the dramatic, swelling music she got on her entrance.

 

14 minutes ago, Soobs said:

He told the girl with the phony, breathy, little girl voice that her voice was soothing. I mean... no.

Yeah I forgot he liked Krystal's voice and about the music, although I noticed it at the time.  You may have a winner there, Bytor!

[ByTor]

Just now, JudyObscure said:

Yeah I forgot he liked Krystal's voice and about the music, although I noticed it at the time.  You may have a winner there, Bytor!

LOL I doubt it, my perceptions of body language are REALLY bad.

[Fable]

35 minutes ago, ByTor said:

This is the 1st time in ages that I'm spoiler-free, and I have Krystal for the win LOL.  I guess it was the dramatic, swelling music she got on her entrance.

I thought so too, or possibly next B’ette.  I can definitely see her in the final 4. 

[dleighg]

2 minutes ago, Fable said:

I thought so too, or possibly next B’ette.  I can definitely see her in the final 4. 

(Krystal) God I hope not. She just seems so little-girly fake to me.

[Fable]

Not that I had any great love for Krystal either, but her edit was decent and as @ByTor said, the intro music seemed pretty telling. 

[GracieK]

Chelsea seems like a seriously dim bulb and that more than anything else about her bothered me with regards the FIR. What Arie suspects is an air of mystery, I suspect is an empty head. Her profile only supports my suspicion. Yeah what little girl doesn't dream about the city of France!

 

Edited January 2, 2018 by GracieK

[JenE4]

Re Krystal’s music, see my post page 1. I initially thought it was “fairy tale love music” but then very quickly realized it turned to “zen meditation music” and she was talking about a heart connection or something, so they were just trying to underscore her new agey-ness. I’m not saying to not root for her—just that it wasn’t “love’s sweeping journey” music yet. I could watch this show with nothing but background music and pinpoint exactly what role each contestant is playing. Krystal’s music is just that of the new age hippy—not the love connection. They won’t give us the “love’s Sweeping journey” music until at least halfway through the season.

[PreBabylonia]

19 hours ago, saber5055 said:

Ari: "The race car jokes ..." /sarcasm. Too funny. I will remember not to use any racing analogies when I date him after he dumps his F1. The single mom from Maine is SO beautiful -- and such a bitch, she's going to be the season's villain. That's too bad. My fav so far is Bekah since she rock climbs, has short hair and drove a '65 Mustang. (I almost bought one of those in the day but $1,500 was too much $!) The women saying they are overwhelmed by all the women coming in and everyone being so beautiful and everyone fighting to be with Arie have obviously never watched this show. I can't wait for a bunch to get sent home so I can get my fix of Arie and beautiful travel porn. Oh: The chick from Weiner giving him a little wiener and saying she hopes he doesn't have one -- Arie did a nice side step on that bad pun. She can go home first.

So many intros being fast forwarded means those chick are all fodder. Wish they wouldn't start with so many. 29. Yikes.

I too, am on the Bekka train. I am not finding her bitchy, just interesting and a bit edgy. The one I really can't stand is Tia. Not surprising, since I also dislike Raven (strictly from Bachelor in Paradise, luckily I didn't bother with any of Nick's season). I am finding her worse than Chelsea, so I am hoping she leaves in the second episode. Her voice alone is like nails on a chalkboard and I find her completely classless with her beeped out comments and giving Arie the toy weiner.

17 hours ago, jackjill89 said:

I loved short-haired Beckah in her intro package, but once she came on the show, she flipped into the hate column. She is absolutely adorable, but she is a stealth bitch. Also -- with the age thing, she's either 20 or 40. I think she's probably really young and that's what's going to bite her in the ass. 

I'm loved Arie on Emily's season, but ever since I heard he dated Courtney Robertson I just can't with him. Better him than Peter, I guess. I was never a Peter fan. 

I wouldn't have minded Peter. Although he never struck me as good looking, I grew to appreciate his sincerity on Rachel's season. Plus, he was awesome with Copper. That dog date was amazing, the best date I've ever seen on the show. But Arie is in a class of his own, I find him incredibly sexy and visually, the best kisser we've seen yet. I figure Courtney must have been amazing in bed, because she comes across as nasty and narcissic, and not overly bright And she looks like a weasel, not attractive at all. Way below Arie's level, in my humble opinion. I watched him closely and was impressed that he looked as if he was listening carefully to all of the women, no matter how inane some of the women appeared. Classy and polite. And if he appears to be a player, so what? You just need to meet the right one. Eventually, that happened both for Warren Beatty and George Clooney.

4 hours ago, Ripley68 said:

Even young, Becca is way more mature seeming than the others. 

I noticed first thing ari looked at on most of the women were their chests. 

Sadly, I noticed that too. I tried to tell myself that he was much taller and trying to look into their eyes, but somehow they slipped...maybe it's inevitable with sexy evening gowns. Let's see if he is any different with sportswear. I learned from South Park, that some males just can't help themselves (from looking)...but at least he tried to cover it up. 

Edited January 2, 2018 by PreBabylonia

[LBS]

49 minutes ago, Stan39 said:

I don't know anything about Ariel

I know this was probably an auto-correct but I'm using it if Arie becomes annoying to me as the season progresses.    So far, the obvious plants and plot villains don't bug me as much and the ones I see as front contenders  (Annalise, Jacqueline, Lauren S, Brittany T.,  and Caroline*) seem to be normal-ish.

 

*my name is Caroline and I will be rooting for her hard core.  Unless she turns into a psychopath and then I will curse for forever for ruining our good name!

[Ms Blue Jay]

2 hours ago, dleighg said:

wouldn't it be refreshing if they actually looked for good matches, intelligence and interest wise, rather than a bunch of interchangeable pretty girls who want to be on TV? Or maybe they would never be interested in this side show. 

Maybe Arie is a nice guy, smooth and chivalrous but I'm not exactly dazzled by his intellectual prowess yet.  Maybe these are his good matches.

[dleighg]

1 minute ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Maybe Arie is a nice guy, smooth and chivalrous but I'm not exactly dazzled by his intellectual prowess yet.  Maybe these are his good matches.

Good point. I just can't stand watching a bunch of conversations with "dumb as a bowl of hair"! Though some of them show some promise; they just didn't get much air time so I can't even recall their names.

[Ms Blue Jay]

They also put some realtors/real estate execs on and Ari is a realtor.  It's notable that some of these actually matched him so closely career-wise.  And the women were smart to do car-racing stuff instead of some dumb dolphin costume or whatever.  This was the least weird intro episode I've ever seen probably.

[Mu Shu]

I liked the nurse.  She was cute, had a good job, and I dug her accent.  

Who would buy a home from a whiny uptalker?  There sure seem to be a bunch of realtors and Laurens this year.  And differently spelled Beccas.   Can’t they let the first Lauren off the bus be Lauren, and name the subsequent laurens ala Flavor of Love? 

Oddly spelled Becca is angling for something, and it’s not Aries tongue tied old ass.  She sure is a self confident one.  Sitting there all cool as a cucumber and stirring up the ones who hadn’t had time with the old coot.  I’d say the B’ette, but she’s too young.  Probably to gain an Instagram platform. 

There have been other short haired contestants, notably Trish from the lunkhead season.  She was one of the hottest of all time.  I suppose Meredith qualifies too.  And then there was the goddess Kelsey Poe.  Who is better than all of us, maybe even better than Michelle Kwan.  But not as good as Fat Camp Dianne, who is the best human ever.  But close. 

[nutty1]

Here is what I remember from last night.....

Emily's teeth were awful on her season.

As far as the girls, I just remember lots of blondes and boobs.

I actually thought the kiddie car racing was cute.

Krystal really annoyed me by the end of the 2 hours. And Olivia 2 (Chelsea) could go home now.

I thought Sienne was beautiful.

The extended preview was the typical one for every season. Him kissing lots of girls, everything looking rosy, then the dramatic music and oodles of tears. I am in the minority, I think Arie is a sloppy kisser. But I do think he is very good looking and I do like him. 

I honestly don't think Arie will end up marrying his F1. I want to believe he is sincere, but I have been through this rodeo too many times before.

That's all I got.

Still yearning to see Peter on my screen......

One more thing....thought this was an interesting tweet from Jef Holm....

    "Doesn't matter who gets out of the limo...I'll give 5k to the charity of @chrisbharrison's choice if @ariejr lasts 1 year with anyone"

Edited January 2, 2018 by nutty1

[Wings]

6 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

I liked the nurse.  She was cute, had a good job, and I dug her accent.  

Who would buy a home from a whiny uptalker?  There sure seem to be a bunch of realtors and Laurens this year.  And differently spelled Beccas.   Can’t they let the first Lauren off the bus be Lauren, and name the subsequent laurens ala Flavor of Love? 

Oddly spelled Becca is angling for something, and it’s not Aries tongue tied old ass.  She sure is a self confident one.  Sitting there all cool as a cucumber and stirring up the ones who hadn’t had time with the old coot.  I’d say the B’ette, but she’s too young.  Probably to gain an Instagram platform. 

There have been other short haired contestants, notably Trish from the lunkhead season.  She was one of the hottest of all time.  I suppose Meredith qualifies too.  And then there was the goddess Kelsey Poe.  Who is better than all of us, maybe even better than Michelle Kwan.  But not as good as Fat Camp Dianne, who is the best human ever.  But close. 

Hysterical.  I love you.  clap clap clap clap.  So good, all of it.  

@nutty1, I agree with every word.   Emily's teeth, LOL 

[violet and green]

2 hours ago, ljenkins782 said:

Who was the first girl out of the limo? I thought I saw her get cut at the end, but so many of them look alike that I'm not sure. 

That was Caroline the brunette real estate agent. Tall and lithe, with a weird chest in one shot, no doubt implanted.

 

40 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

Emily's teeth were awful on her season.

I don't remember them being that fake looking!  I mean I remember she had veneers or somesuch, but last night they looked like she'd got them at a dollar shop and glued them on herself! I found her mesmerising in her season, the precision of her makeup and her demeanor with the men, but all I saw last night was this amazing bank of smooth white protruding chompers.

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

Re Krystal’s music, see my post page 1. I initially thought it was “fairy tale love music” but then very quickly realized it turned to “zen meditation music” and she was talking about a heart connection or something, so they were just trying to underscore her new agey-ness.

That's interesting. I just heard the fairy tale aspect... I still think he's rather into her, and I quite liked her myself, even if she is a bit cheesy. I was fully expecting her to get the first impression rose.

2 hours ago, GracieK said:

Count me among those who aren't that impressed with Bekah. She seems phony and very camera aware to me. Also her teeth look dingy and I found that distracting.  While I'm not a fan of blindingly white oversized veneers, maybe get a cleaning and throw on a few Crest whitening strips before your big reality show debut!

Yeah. She's brighter than some of them and very self-possessed and pleased with her own quick wit, so she'll run rings around Arie with her cultural references, etc. She arrived as a walking cultural reference! All that gamine haircut and head tilting, playing the ingenue, complete with classic sportscar - looking like Leslie Caron in "American in Paris." I think she'll be good value, but I hated the show teasing about her age. Blergh! Especially when some of the others were presented as being 23, anyway.

[Mabinogia]

1 hour ago, PreBabylonia said:

I watched him closely and was impressed that he looked as if he was listening carefully to all of the women, no matter how inane some of the women appeared. Classy and polite.

He's the anti-Juan Pablo! lol I do love that he seems to be all in with whoever he is with. That bodes well for the girls who aren't all flash and boobs. I feel like a lot of the guys on this show get distracted by the shiny new teeth and all that hair and bare skin and pick who they think is hottest and make her who they want her to be in their minds. So far Arie seems to have a more open mind, and is actually getting to know the person behind the extensions. Of course he seems to think they are all various forms of beautiful so maybe he has less of a "type" than most and is open to all the different flavors of famewhore the show provided him. 

[GracieK]

17 minutes ago, violet and green said:

 

Yeah. She's brighter than some of them and very self-possessed and pleased with her own quick wit, so she'll run rings around Arie with her cultural references, etc. She arrived as a walking cultural reference! All that gamine haircut and head tilting, playing the ingenue, complete with classic sportscar - looking like Leslie Caron in "American in Paris." I think she'll be good value, but I hated the show teasing about her age. Blergh! Especially when some of the others were presented as being 23, anyway.

Oh yes.. she is definitely self-possessed and pleased with herself. A quick visit to her Instagram shows a plethora of selfie shots, posed shots, and tons of socality Barbie authenticity. Hardly a shot of her with anyone besides herself! 

Edited January 2, 2018 by GracieK

[Mu Shu]

31 minutes ago, GracieK said:

Oh yes.. she is definitely self-possessed and pleased with herself. A quick visit to her Instagram shows a plethora of selfie shots, posed shots, and tons of socality Barbie authenticity. Hardly a shot of her with anyone besides herself! 

Yep.  She’s hoping to gain sponsorships on Instagram.  Good for her I say.  At least she’s not sulking, pouting, and chasing her tail over mr 5 long seasons ago dweeb.  Shit that dude is 100 in millennial years.  

[nlkm9]

7 hours ago, Rainsong said:

The dog ate my homework. Well, actually, Dawgs ate my homework. As in Georgia Bulldogs.

In the age of corporate synergy and cross-promotion within the cozy little Disney family of companies, the decision to schedule the premiere of TB opposite the long-awaited, long-hyped college football playoff semifinal games is either a brave, unprecedented refutation of potential audience overlap…or, it’s merely a ham-fisted attempt to relaunch ‘the franchise’ on a holiday weekday night and get a cheap ratings high. Either way, many of us were watching football and socializing and had to catch up on TB later (much later). Surely ABC/ESPN/Disney must know there is a large intersection of male sports fans who also watch TB? There are chuckling oh-you-watch-it-too? discussions on numerous sports talk shows and podcasts. In sum, they inexplicably cannibalized their audience for both programs.

And now, to The Villages of Florida, where Arie Luyendyk Jr races his golf cart to the cafeteria to get lunch pricing for his dinner before 3 PM. OK, that’s an age joke. And it won’t be the last one.

Instead, we see that 5 (!) years ago a fully brunette Arie pursued Emily Maynard. Wow…a lot can happen in 5 years. George HW Bush’s presidency elapsed in under 5 years. The Beatles went from their first Ed Sullivan US TV appearance to effectively breaking up in 5 years. 5 years on from her Arie meetup, Emily’s baby is nearing kindergarten age and she more or less denies ever participating in TB to anyone who might still approach her to ask about it. Heck, even Arie’s ultra-skinny tie in the archive footage is rather passe now – even CH has moved away from them.

Recycling a Bachelor after 5 long years is…what? Desperate? Unimaginative? All of these? We talk at length about the unreality of Reality TV but it seems that the selection of Bachelors, more so than Bachelorettes, stems from obstinance on the part of Fleiss & Co. They can’t be fussed to do a proper search from scratch (despite the constant pleas for applications) so they pull up the drawbridge and recycle a la Real Housewives. Cynical in the extreme – and so is asking the audience to believe that, half a decade later, a successful (?), moderately famous, red-blooded male is still trying to (all together now) Find Love ™. Either he hasn’t been trying very hard outside the ABC world of make-believe or the women of the world haven’t. Or perhaps they’re both responsible.

After the obligatory retrospective the Trophy Couple of Sean & Catherine and their child arrive to give Arie a pep talk. Arie has bravely (?) abandoned the hair dye, possibly to lend him an air of gravitas in his real estate sales. He’d better hope so when young women barely into their 20s arrive. We’re then subjected to our annual, apparently compulsory, stream of inanity from Sean, who has the emotional depth and vocabulary of a Waffle House menu.

The slice-of-life vignettes of the Bachelorettes begin…by now the mix is a familiar one.   We see several contenders, at least one red herring who gets sent home in the first or second round.

We start with Chelsea who delivers the staggering revelation that being a single mother is not always glorious. Did anyone ever claim otherwise? Chelsea wants wants wants wants. At the risk of a pun, steer well clear, Arie!

Caroline is also a realtor. In typical realtor fashion, she introduces herself by telling us her sales figures. $5 mil in a year. But if the average house in an upscale and/or expensive area (FL) is $1 mil, that’s 5 homes sold over 12 months. Good but not great, shall we say? The staged showing of a house is…staged.

Maquel is a photographer who insists on using the cheesy, fake-tenderness of the kiss on the forehead. This pose is as annoying and played out as the shot of groomsmen-carrying-the-bride-like-a-rolled-up-carpet but a lack of creativity in any endeavor will inevitably lead to imitation. She claims she watched Arie’s season. Left unsaid is that she watched it while she was of high school age!  Yikes.

A brief aside to be big enough to admit I was wrong, sadly. Wrong about the center-parted hairstyle fad. It either never went away or has come back with a vengeance. Unflattering to the face (it makes it look wider and fatter).  They are now apparently straightening the top. Now they all look like the old Clairol Herbal Essence commercial (at best) or they look like they’ve had a bucket of water dumped on their heads (at worst).

Individuals coarser and less discreet than I would describe Nysha as the proverbial Popsicle stick with bolt-ons. Pardon the expression…not my lexicon but I’ll use it anyway. She does have a charming honey-dipped Upcountry SC accent though.

Tia is Raven Mk II. Actually, I thought that before they even put Tia & Raven on the screen together! Do the NY/LA types imagine that everyone in flyover country is gun crazed? Apparently so.

Kendall wonders why a ukulele-plunking crazy-eyed taxidermist petting mounted wart hog heads and singing to stuffed seals can’t maintain a relationship for longer than a year.  Hmmmm…..

And now…Bekah M. I’m typing this slowly because of a wrist I injured doing cartwheels while watching her segment. Finally someone with the courage to cut her hair short. We can see her face! Her shoulders! Her neck! No hiding behind curtains of extensions and nervously fiddling with the ends! Of course, it doesn’t hurt when the lady with the short hair has amazing features – eyebrows, eyes, cheekbones – and who smiles a lot. Watch past seasons and you’ll discover that the grim non-smilers are turfed out with haste and regularity. Apparently it’s a minor scandal that Bekah M’s age wasn’t displayed onscreen (she’s just 22).  Internet sleuths have revealed that Bekah has gone through numerous hair ‘phases’ including platinum blonde and various lengths but she’s onto a winner here.

Marikh, her eyebrows and her stripper heels are next. ZZZZZ.

Krystal is an ‘online health & fitness coach.’ In other words, she’s another YouTuber.  She uses the P word – passionate! Here’s a tip kids – if you have to announce that you’re passionate then you may be failing to convince others. Her brother has been homeless for 2 years and she’s only just discovered it? Did she not try to call or find him for 24 months? Do they have relatives, parents, friends? A missing persons report perhaps?

The parade begins with the usual leavening of dodgy gifts, chat-up lines and awkward attempts to lay hands on a stranger’s bod.

Tia has made some bad choices at the tattoo parlor. Bibiana has been cast and/or coached to do the Fiery Latina act. She wants blue-eyed babies. Apparently Bibiana skipped science class on the day they discussed dominant and recessive genetics although Sean & Catherine managed it.

Krystal is already drowning us in New Age treacle. Valerie deserves full marks for honesty – she is a server.  Not a personal trainer, not a sales consultant, not a social media doyenne.

Bekah M makes a grand entrance in a vintage Mustang. Strangely, the grill logo of the car is pixelated while the FORD lettering on the hood is not. Concerns about free advertising aside, is there anyone on Planet Earth who doesn’t know what a Mustang is and who made it?

Bekah has either been practicing her moves at length in front of a mirror or she just has the It Factor. The smiles, the head tilt, the dropped chin, the scrunched-up nose, the cow-eyed slow blink, the shoulder shrugs delivered with a giggle…that is a body language masterclass. She has the courage to wear a mint green dress of moderate length and that choker is spot on. If you don’t take her I will, Arie. I know she’s already coming under fire for cocking an eyebrow or two and rolling her eyes but any sane person would in that madhouse. She needs to stop stirring but she can’t seem to resist…just too much energy to sit still.

Jenna’s eyes are in a gorgeous class by themselves, it must be said. Jessica looks so similar to F2 participant on The Bachelor Australia I thought for a moment it was actually her and she’d been parachuted into the US version. Becca demands a fake proposal – sounds like a clever idea in the limo but it usually leads to a ticket home.

Cue the parade of Laurens. We’ll have to sort them out as we go although Lauren S stands out. Catwoman arrives. Which reminds me…if there’s a first impression rose shouldn’t The Bachelor have the option to send someone home at the entrance? The look on the reject’s face would be priceless – even if they were wearing a mask.

Maquel wants a selfie…quite emblematic of the age gap. Jacqueline a bit of a dark horse, methinks.

Brittany T is a right looker. Eyes, figure (ahem) et al. Like, the Valley Girl speak can like, go though.

Bekah M has him absolutely eating out of her hand. Fair play to her. In fact, if you watch closely he mimics her body language word for word.

Arie steers right into the wall as he gives bunny boiler Chelsea the FIR. Krystal is not impressed – she’s not being the best version of herself right now!  Tsk tsk!

RC doesn’t hold many surprises except possibly the dismissal of sports reporter Bri and her gravity-defying posterior. Her lack of camera time was a large tipoff.  Amber is devastated. It’s hard to forget the rumors that Bachelors often have their half dozen favorites already picked out and are compelled to keep certain drama queens by the producers.

The first ‘night’ is more of an overnight. It’s not just dawn, it’s full-on daylight when the also-rans leave.

The season sneak peek is always worthwhile…and amusing to see the shots selected that leave us guessing. Fortunately, there is no disguising the Bekah M shots – they lock lips on front of the Moulin Rouge and she fearlessly dons a skimpy showgirl costume. We see travel spots like Central/South America, Paris (obvs), Pisa, Tuscany (obvs). Is it possible that the purse strings have been loosened and the destinations improved greatly? Jacqueline is taking the po-faced deep & meaningful approach but that seems in keeping with her personality. Chelsea claims that she deserves more time because she’s a single mother?!? Bibiana isn’t having it. Bekah & Krystal are polar opposites and clash. If history tells us anything it’s that you’ve gotta stay above the drama if you want to win, girls. Dry the tears and smile. And what’s this? Someone’s ex has crashed the set to demand his girl back – because they would never stage such a thing and because total strangers can walk past heavy security with impunity. At least we know it’s not Nick and his Passive Aggressive Beta Male Backdoor Man act again. Thank heaven for small favors.

I live for your posts Rainsong :)

58 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

He's the anti-Juan Pablo! lol I do love that he seems to be all in with whoever he is with. That bodes well for the girls who aren't all flash and boobs. I feel like a lot of the guys on this show get distracted by the shiny new teeth and all that hair and bare skin and pick who they think is hottest and make her who they want her to be in their minds. So far Arie seems to have a more open mind, and is actually getting to know the person behind the extensions. Of course he seems to think they are all various forms of beautiful so maybe he has less of a "type" than most and is open to all the different flavors of famewhore the show provided him. 

then again he was in love with Emily who is as fake as they come <gag>. if nothing else he is very polite and that is nice :)

[nlkm9]

by the way, the baby fry talking just kills me. OMG. how can anyone listen to that crap over and over??? and I noticed a women who was overly botoxed, her eyebrows were in a huge arch alla that chick on Empire that everyone raves about. that irked me lol.

edited because i remember the chicks name on empire is cookie--worst botox job ever!!

Edited January 3, 2018 by nlkm9
left out

[Mabinogia]

All of these women are obsessed with themselves, have loads of selfies, posed shots, and are Barbie's. Most of them are there to promote themselves in some way shape or form. I like Becka because she seems slightly less fake than the ones who all look exactly the same, with the same dye job and the same extensions and the same false eyelashes and the same plastic boobs. I won't say she is better or worse than the rest, but she is different, and different is something that is seriously lacking on this show. This is what I remember about these women after the first night. There's one who's basically Olivia 2.0, she's a blonde. There's the one with short hair. There's one who is Raven's friend, I think she's one of the brunettes. There's an Indian one. There's a skinny black one who likes blood and another skinny black one and maybe there's another black woman, can't remember. There's a blonde with bad roots and a name that begins with M. She came in a race car. And there are a bunch of other blondes and brunettes with the same wavy boob length hair and the same overly made up, older than they should look, faces who say like a lot and uptalk a lot and probably take more selfies in a week than I have taken in my entire life, who all want to be either actresses or internet "influencers". Thankfully, most of them will fade into obscurity, a few will show up on every possible version of the Bachelor and one or two might actually make something out of this experience. Oh, and one will pretend she's going to marry Arie until they break up at just the right camera ready time. 

To call any one individual out on this show as a fame whore is a joke. They all are. This show hasn't actually been about finding love in ages. That's just a happy byproduct the few times it has happened.

[violet and green]

1 minute ago, Mabinogia said:

 

To call any one individual out on this show as a fame whore is a joke. They all are. This show hasn't actually been about finding love in ages. That's just a happy byproduct the few times it has happened.

Well, I don't think Jacqueline the researcher is a fame whore, for starters. She seems like a sincere and intelligent woman, and I hope to hell she's The One! It doesn't matter how many times the show disappoints, I still believe, hahaha.

But looking at poor Catherine's expression last night, I don't even know if it's a "happy byproduct." I think people just get swept up in it and some can't find their way out.

[Mu Shu]

I don’t think anyone on this show in 2018 is anything but a famewhore.  The good news is that even a boring, meh looking girl like Amanda can clean up on social media.

No one is really interested in this recycled doofus.  They’re there to get paid sponsors like Fit Tea and Smile Direct Club or whatever.  Some of them pay 30k .  Big money if you work it right.  Carly and Jade are making a killing on Instagram alone. 

[Mabinogia]

14 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Carly and Jade are making a killing on Instagram alone. 

that makes me so sad. Where did we go so wrong as a society that people get paid for doing practically nothing. 

Edited January 3, 2018 by Mabinogia

[call me ishmael]

7 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

Now they are a little more on the ball trying to rehab the F2 into being "ready for love" quicker than they used to.

I think it is easier when they all know that their best shot is to be the next lead anyway.

 

6 hours ago, bosawks said:

I'm at the point where I think they're casting multiples with the same name and ubiquitous hairstyles just to mess with us.

When i first read your comment i thought you meant casting “multiple personalities.”

Edited January 3, 2018 by call me ishmael
Grammar

[phlebas]

I may be an army of one, but I love Kendall. A ukulele-playing taxidermist? Yes please.

ALthough that may be the vodka talking.  I think Rachel gave me a drinking problem last season.

[Mu Shu]

40 minutes ago, phlebas said:

I may be an army of one, but I love Kendall. A ukulele-playing taxidermist? Yes please.

ALthough that may be the vodka talking.  I think Rachel gave me a drinking problem last season.

Well someone who makes up songs about taxidermy can’t be all bad.  And vodka is probably the only way to approach this show.

[lids]

I remembered something today. There was a woman who told Arie she wasn't nervous until she got out of the limo. Then she said something like, "My brain is spinning, literally." Ha ha! Who was that? Did she get eliminated and put out of her misery?

 

ETA my autocorrect does NOT believe his name is Arie.

Edited January 3, 2018 by lids

[crgirl412]

6 hours ago, GracieK said:

Count me among those who aren't that impressed with Bekah. She seems phony and very camera aware to me. Also her teeth look dingy and I found that distracting.  While I'm not a fan of blindingly white oversized veneers, maybe get a cleaning and throw on a few Crest whitening strips before your big reality show debut!

I thought the same thing and I am in desperate need of a whitening!!   You expect her to have great pearly whites but not blinding white.  They are very straight but annoyingly dingy.  Maybe she needed tetracycline as child to make them that way.   

[FlyingEgret]

Is "social media manager" the new "dental hygentist"?

[Ms Blue Jay]

3 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

 Shit that dude is 100 in millennial years.  

Or one year older than a Millennial.  He's the same age as Beyonce, people don't usually call her old.

4 hours ago, GracieK said:

Oh yes.. she is definitely self-possessed and pleased with herself. A quick visit to her Instagram shows a plethora of selfie shots, posed shots, and tons of socality Barbie authenticity. Hardly a shot of her with anyone besides herself! 

Maybe she doesn't have many friends ;)

Edited January 3, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[Sweet-tea]

7 hours ago, ByTor said:

This is the 1st time in ages that I'm spoiler-free, and I have Krystal for the win LOL.  I guess it was the dramatic, swelling music she got on her entrance.

I thought the same thing as soon as I saw her.

When she smiles she reminds me of Rachel McAdams. 

I must be missing something because I don't find Chelsea particularly attractive. Many of the other women are prettier IMO. 

Edited January 3, 2018 by Sweet-tea

[jade.black]

So much to work with! My fave was Bibiana clearly having no working knowledge of genetics. The chances of your mixed children having Arie's recessive blue eyes are not favorable.

Also, tall Becca saying hopefully that intro would be the "first and last time" he was down on one knee. Well... you better hope not? The producers would be pretty livid.

Chelsea= Olivia. Not sure what "mysteries" she's going to unveil to him other than her child. Maybe, "Surprise! I've been a bitch all along!" And she's not even cute.

Krystal= Britt 2.0. All that permanent smiling. The life coaching and being your best self and uptalking fake cheeriness. I would have sent her right back to the limo after that zen bullshit intro. She would be my least favorite if Chelsea weren't there to make everyone else look so much more appealing. 

Brittane looked like Black Chyna. Marikh also looks like a Kardashian which is unfortunate, but I'd keep her around til finals to get some homemade Indian cooking at the hometowns. Jenna is possibly on drugs but I like it (if she can cut back on the flailing arm movements).

The two blonde Brittanys that made it through were among the cutest (the one in the silver dress and the one in the black dress). I liked the server (Valerie?) in the yellow dress, she seemed down to earth. The taxidermist was fun and different. There was also something appealing about Jacqueline, the one who had a slight Anna Kendrick resemblence. 

I do not care for Becka so far and some of you have explained it better than I can... I think she comes off as too self-aware, and while her question about "three things" to Arie was a good one, it also sounded like the kind of thing I would have patted myself on the back on for coming up with when I was a teenager. And I felt like she only asked it so she could give her own very rehearsed response. "You know... that feeling when you're not sure if someone likes you back... oh, kind of like right now!" *coy look*

Anyway, none of these girls are the one for him because, uhh, I'm right here and age-appropriate at 29 and DAMMIT I'm just going to be jealous and bitter all season every time Arie stares thoughtfully into some woman's eyes and makes adorable comments and caresses their face during some ridiculously hot makeout session. Help, I've never had these kinds of feelings for a Bachelor before! What do I do?! Should I slide into his insta DMs for the inevitable broken engagement? How do you "slide into one's DMs"? This is all very new to me. 

[Sweet-tea]

10 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

All three of us in the room gasped when that full-body shot of her appeared. We even had to rewind, to look again. Mr. Final Rose is convinced she's also had half of her ribs removed.  

I did the same thing! I rewound to get another look because I couldn't believe how tiny her waist looked. 

[Sweet-tea]

8 hours ago, ByTor said:

Her brother has been homeless for 2 years and she’s only just discovered it? Did she not try to call or find him for 24 months? Do they have relatives, parents, friends? A missing persons report perhaps?

He could be estranged from the family due to alcohol or drug addiction. Sometimes families have to cut the addict off until he admits he needs help. 

Oops, sorry for the double post. 

Edited January 3, 2018 by Sweet-tea

[Bossley]

This is one of the best looking groups the show has had. Almost all the girls look like they could be final four contenders if they were cast in different seasons.

My favorite line was the girl who said, "If you can find love on Tinder, you can find love on TV." That seems like a good attitude to have if you're really in it for the right reasons.

I also loved Lauren S. asking Maquel where she got her race car. It's a fair question.

I really hope they're not pimping Tia for the Bachelorette. Tia seems sweet, but I'm really done with Raven/Nick's season/Bachelor in Paradise contestants. Plus, I think there could be better contenders for that role in this group.

Edited January 3, 2018 by Bossley

[amcfar]

Kendall looks and acts like Ashley Onion; they could practically be twins. 

Don’t get me wrong, all the women are attractive; I’m just really questioning the ages of several of them. In particular, when Lauren J appeared, I had to do a double/triple-take at her age. I’m the same age as Arie and I feel that Lauren J looks closer to my parents’ age bracket than she does to mine. Again, I’m not knocking her attractiveness at all. She just has a very mature look. 

Edited January 3, 2018 by amcfar
Changed my wording.

[HappyDancex2]

I felt bad for the lady who got eliminated whose father met Arie.  As I listened to her talk she seemed quite fun and genuine.  However what I first noticed about her was that she was a tv anchor whose listed age was 26 and she looked straight up late 40s.  Over the next 2 hours none of her segments led me to believe she was young and so I’m horrified at what hair and makeup and lifestyle can do to age a person that quickly.  I think the Sephora/ YouTube generation are going to be shocked when they actually do start to chronologically age.

put me in the club where Chelsea seems average in looks.  She has weird teeth.  She made a good entrance but the best she can hope for is a memorable exit.  Or at least the token villian.

The spray tan lady needs to watch this episode to see where she went wrong was her nasally baby voice vocal fry meeping “so I owwwwnnnn a spraaaaaaaaay taaaaannnnnn businessssssss.”

I would buy every advertised item from this show if for the rest of the season they all had to talk in a normal voice.  Every generation has a way of dealing with uncertainty as it shows in your voice.....the uptalking babytalking vocal fry has got to be the worst incarnation.

[TomGirl]

2 hours ago, jade.black said:

Anyway, none of these girls are the one for him because, uhh, I'm right here and age-appropriate at 29 and DAMMIT I'm just going to be jealous and bitter all season every time Arie stares thoughtfully into some woman's eyes and makes adorable comments and caresses their face during some ridiculously hot makeout session. Help, I've never had these kinds of feelings for a Bachelor before! What do I do?! Should I slide into his insta DMs for the inevitable broken engagement? How do you "slide into one's DMs"? This is all very new to me. 

This is so sweet, Jade!  You are obviously here for the right reasons!!

[ByTor]

7 hours ago, Sweet-tea said:

16 hours ago, ByTor said:

Her brother has been homeless for 2 years and she’s only just discovered it? Did she not try to call or find him for 24 months? Do they have relatives, parents, friends? A missing persons report perhaps?

He could be estranged from the family due to alcohol or drug addiction. Sometimes families have to cut the addict off until he admits he needs help. 

This quote actually wasn't mine.  I quoted it and also suggested that perhaps he's estranged from the family.