S05.E03: Jesus Saves

[OnceSane]

Quote

Chris Brown's decision to take a nap lands him in hot water; the new guests prove to be a handful; Kate meets a cute sailor and visits him on his boat; Matt faces his first challenge of the season with sushi dinner and a tequila pairing.

[Mindthinkr]

I can't believe they hired Jen to stew on this charter season. She brings absolutely no skill set to the table. Can't even use a shot measure to make a drink! Poor Kate. Thank goodness she found Jesus. 

[tinaw]

So I guess Jesus saved Kate tonight.

[Lamima]

Wait...did the Jesus guy ask Kate if she was buying (as in his drinks)? Oh Kate, no girl. 

[HunterHunted]

Though technically Kate is on early and didn't have to help Jen, sneaking off to hang with Hot Jesus was not a good look, especially since she was lecturing Jen and Bri about professionalism and proper stew behavior. It was completely hypocritical. It's also really unprofessional of Kate to make fun of Jen in front of the guests. Jen is incompetent, but I'm not feeling Kate tonight. She was being an ass.

What was up with Jen drunkenly screaming for Kate from the bathroom?

My feeling about charter guests who are into food is that even though they say they are adventurous, they are not really adventurous. Tequila does go with eggplant. It also goes with Parmesan cheese. However, chefs should just make a fancier version of stuff the guests would eat anyway.

[biakbiak]

The more I see of Jen the more I refuse to think she had a child young who is less than 20. She looks rougher than Kate and Kate looks old.

[yourmomiseasy]

How does Matt not know how to make sushi?  I'm not saying he needs to be an expert, but he should at least be familiar enough that he doesn't need to read instructions while doing it.  It seems like pretty standard fare on the charters.  Also, having the sushi directly on Bruno's skin was disgusting.  The should have put the leaves between his skin and the food.  That guest grabbing Bruno's junk with the tongs was also gross.

How is Mom Stew as dumb as she is and reached the ripe old age of ~30?  She should have died in some darwin inspired accident by now or of forgetting to breathe because her head is just that empty.  Chris Brown is pretty dumb too, but not as dumb as her.  

It looks like Bruno and Bri are catching on to things.  

[Lizzing]

Jen used to work where before this, that she was a supervisor?  If she can't handle measuring ounces, I don't know what kind of job she could supervise.  I bet there are a bunch of her ex coworkers watching this and having a good laugh. 

[Suck It Trebek]

7 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

It's also really unprofessional of Kate to make fun of Jen in front of the guests. Jen is incompetent, but I'm not feeling Kate tonight. She was being an ass.

Immediately before that, Jen called Kate a bitch in front of those same guests in a "joking" manner and, while I agree it was unprofessional, I saw it as Kate volleying the ball back to Jen also in a "joking" way. Instead, she should have just let Jen's comment slide and moved on, only to let her know later that calling your chief stew a bitch to guests, even jokingly, is wrong. 

 

Chris Brown remains super creepy and weird with Bri (who reminds me of Joan Osborne.)

[ghoulina]

I still love Kate. I can't help myself. I thought the faux charter guests test was freaking hilarious, and it was nice seeing Lee laugh so much. I didn't have much of a problem of her sneaking off the boat to meet up with Hot Jesus, because Kate does NOT fuck up at work. So I'd cut her slack on breaking the rules, where I wouldn't cut it for someone who doesn't have their shit together. That may be hypocritical, but oh well. 

Also, I didn't think Kate saying that Jen sucked at her job was that big of a deal. Those charter guests were fucking wasted and probably won't even remember it. Plus, Jen had JUST called her a "little bitch" 2 seconds before. I actually enjoy the banter between Kate and Jen, but I think Jen is the type of girl that will engage in the snarky banter, but then cry foul when it escalates to a point she can't handle. She wants to be funny and quippy and bitchy right along with Kate, but she can't necessarily take the heat. 

Plus, Jen DOES suck at her job. So there's that. 

I loved it when Kate told the girls that being able to fold a fitted sheet is the ultimate litmus test in yachting (I'd fail), and Jen was all, "Define litmus". Sigh....

Bri - glimmer of hope, Jen - glimmer of nope. 

I always get uncomfortable when the charter guests want one of the crew to do something sort of risque, like the almost-naked-sushi thing. But Bruno seemed to be a good sport about it. The best part, though, was Nico marveling over his dad-bod and "wondering" why HE didn't get picked to lay out on the table. 

Damn, Matt didn't know beans about sushi, did it? That was kind of sad, watching him scour the internet and cookbooks. I was thinking - since you're stuck at the dock anyhow, get a chef from the mainland to come down there and help you! But I guess he pulled it off, since the guests seemed happy enough. Or were they just too wasted to care?

10 hours ago, Lamima said:

Wait...did the Jesus guy ask Kate if she was buying (as in his drinks)? Oh Kate, no girl. 

If Jesus was someone Kate was seriously trying to date, I might feel the same. But I got the impression she was just trying to get her rocks off while on charter, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Isn't the guy from Sweden???

 

2 hours ago, Lizzing said:

Jen used to work where before this, that she was a supervisor?  If she can't handle measuring ounces, I don't know what kind of job she could supervise.  I bet there are a bunch of her ex coworkers watching this and having a good laugh. 

Seriously. It wasn't just that she didn't know that particular item was for measuring ounces, but when Bri was trying to SHOW her, she acted so flustered. Like she couldn't handle that much information. Huh????

[MyAimIsTrue]

Whoever in production thought hiring casting incompetence would make for good drama needs to have their ass kicked.  I usually enjoy this show be it in the Caribbean or the Mediterranean but this season is unwatchable.

[Misslindsey]

1 hour ago, MyAimIsTrue said:

Whoever in production thought hiring casting incompetence would make for good drama needs to have their ass kicked.  I usually enjoy this show be it in the Caribbean or the Mediterranean but this season is unwatchable.

I agree. I would rather watch competent people do their job and have the drama not be job related. I can deal with one or two people being newbies at yachting, but when pretty much the whole crew is so green I do not enjoy it as much.

I liked that Matt did not freak out or yell about doing sushi even though it was not something he was proficient at. I assume that he will turn into a dick sometime, because this show never seems to just have a mellow chef.

[bichonblitz]

Since when is it ok for the charter guests to hang out Below Deck? They should never be allowed where the crew is working.  They have toys, jacuzzi's,  and all the other stuff that goes along with the charter experience so why the constant pain in the ass drunken involvement below when the crew is trying to work. I know, I know, it's for the show. Still,  make it stop, it's annoying!

[eurekagirl mOo]

Most chefs have gone to culinary school and sushi is definitely taught. So did he not go to school and just calls himself a chef?

I love Kate. Go get with Jesus Kate...with this crew you deserve it.

Shot glasses are HARD. Who knew?

Loved seeing Capt. Lee laughing his ass off. 

[Adultosaurus]

Chris is super creepy - I wonder if there is a drunken assault coming from him this season.  

[ghoulina]

46 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Since when is it ok for the charter guests to hang out Below Deck? They should never be allowed where the crew is working.  They have toys, jacuzzi's,  and all the other stuff that goes along with the charter experience so why the constant pain in the ass drunken involvement below when the crew is trying to work. I know, I know, it's for the show. Still,  make it stop, it's annoying!

I think it's hard because the number one thing is keeping the guests happy. So you don't want to offend them by insisting they get out of the kitchen. I bet Kate would have a clever and diplomatic way of redirecting them back out of crew quarters, but Jen is clearly out of her depth here. 

[ryebread]

I disagree that Matt should automatically know how to prepare sushi just because he's been to culinary school.  If sushi was just one item, like lasagna or beef wellington, then I might agree.  But there are so many varieties of sushi and preparing the fish and vegetables is such a precise and delicate operation - it's an art, yo. 

It would be nice if he could prepare a couple varieties but I don't think any less of him than I would if a chef didn't know, off the top of his head, how to prepare a platter of Dal Baati Churma. 

Jen putting her fingers all over the top of the stir straws in the guests drink was gross.  But the guests were gross and obnoxious so I didn't mind that much.

[ryebread]

Captain Lee on the radio prior to guests' departure:  "Powder your little noses and get your asses out here."

That, in addition to his comment last week to Bri about not getting any massages because of her injured hand and his often-dropped eff bombs have me giving the Cap'n the side eye this season.  Try to keep it classy, Lee.

12 hours ago, Lamima said:

Wait...did the Jesus guy ask Kate if she was buying (as in his drinks)? Oh Kate, no girl. 

Right?  Keep it classy, Jesus.

[nenya]

Making sushi well can take years of specialized training. Plus, on a charter boat, I doubt they have the space to store the fish st the right temperature for longer periods of time. This seems like a strange request from people who should know better, as they run a restaurant. 

 

Jen - wow. I feel a little sad for her. She seems so lost. I think she might be okay if she has just one or two responsibilities, but she can’t balance multiple requests and tasks. And while the job requires a lot of memorization, some is just practical like the laundry should always be going. I get the impression that she and Bri are both just doing their jobs, while for a charter you need to do more than the basics. 

[dleighg]

I think those guests ought to get some sort of refund for the "mechanical problem" that kept them at the dock. This isn't a weather problem.

[rho]

8 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

How does Matt not know how to make sushi?  I'm not saying he needs to be an expert, but he should at least be familiar enough that he doesn't need to read instructions while doing it.  It seems like pretty standard fare on the charters.  Also, having the sushi directly on Bruno's skin was disgusting.  The should have put the leaves between his skin and the food.  That guest grabbing Bruno's junk with the tongs was also gross.

I just kept flashing back to Ben a few seasons ago saying how much he loves sushi dinners because it's relatively easy and really impresses the guests. He's a pretentious ass but he made a beautiful plate of food.

[Mountainair]

After pulling in extra help so Kate could properly train the stews I thought it was in poor taste that she left the boat that night on their first charter after training. What would Captain Lee say? 

Also, I am glad that Lee gave Bruno a compliment! Maybe he is learning!

[dleighg]

That Tequila and Eggplant Parm stuff? Why didn't Matt just act with confidence? "Of course it goes well-- you'll see"

[dleighg]

8 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

That guest grabbing Bruno's junk with the tongs was also gross.

Thank goodness he stuffed his package with TP!

And I was quite disappointed when we finally got a look at Jesus. A little over the line toward duck dynasty for me.

Edited September 20, 2017 by dleighg

[Caseysgirl]

I have to give Matt props because instead of acting like a primadonna ("I'm the chef, I'll tell you what goes with tequila") he listened to the guest and went for a meal that was more appropriate.  That said,is this his first job?

[Mindthinkr]

What was with tattooed guest? Why he was in the crew prep area with a white glove on his left hand? Was he channeling his inner Michael Jackson? The guest drinking from the bottle of Grey Goose was funny but unsanitary for future guests. I'm amazed they made it for breakfast the next morning as they had soooo many shots. 

[ryebread]

19 minutes ago, dleighg said:

And I was quite disappointed when we finally got a look at Jesus. A little over the line toward duck dynasty for me.

LOL.  Nailed it.

Matt reminds me of a young, better coiffed, less bulky Lou Ferrigno.

 

[yourmomiseasy]

1 hour ago, ryebread said:

I disagree that Matt should automatically know how to prepare sushi just because he's been to culinary school.  If sushi was just one item, like lasagna or beef wellington, then I might agree.  But there are so many varieties of sushi and preparing the fish and vegetables is such a precise and delicate operation - it's an art, yo. 

It would be nice if he could prepare a couple varieties but I don't think any less of him than I would if a chef didn't know, off the top of his head, how to prepare a platter of Dal Baati Churma. 

Jen putting her fingers all over the top of the stir straws in the guests drink was gross.  But the guests were gross and obnoxious so I didn't mind that much.

I've seen sushi served a bunch of times on Below Deck.  I don't recall seeing Dal served once.  Matt couldn't even make the rice without instructions.  It's kind of like going on Top Chef without at least a simple dessert under your belt.  As said up thread, sushi is a lot of bang for the buck.  It's relatively easy to make serviceable sushi and people are impressed by it.  Plus it seems light and fresh which is what you probably want on a yacht.  Which is probably why it's been shown to be served frequently on these charters even though it isn't beef cheeks.

 

1 hour ago, nenya said:

Making sushi well can take years of specialized training. Plus, on a charter boat, I doubt they have the space to store the fish st the right temperature for longer periods of time. This seems like a strange request from people who should know better, as they run a restaurant. 

 

Jen - wow. I feel a little sad for her. She seems so lost. I think she might be okay if she has just one or two responsibilities, but she can’t balance multiple requests and tasks. And while the job requires a lot of memorization, some is just practical like the laundry should always be going. I get the impression that she and Bri are both just doing their jobs, while for a charter you need to do more than the basics. 

I'm not saying he has to be Jiro Ono, but he should have some basics down.  It's not just a charter boat, it's a mega yacht, and they serve fish on it frequently, so I'm assuming they can store fish.   Plus it was the first night while they were still at dock, not a week into charter or something.  

[LucyHoneychrrch]

I'm annoyed with this season.   I dislike this storyline of incompetence.  For me the draw of this show has always been the weird dichotomy between people doing decent jobs and people being insane on their off-hours.  Rocky Dakota was batshit crazy, but she could at least fold a fitted sheet, and that was the interesting part for me.  

I like Brianna, but Jen grates.  She isn't even clueless in an interesting way; just kind of a vaguely sad one.  I was initially shocked that she previously managed people until I remembered some of the jobs I held in my 20s. 

[Mondrianyone]

I've obviously been telecommuting from home for much too long, but . . . wouldn't forcing/allowing an employee to serve as a human food tray normally be considered fostering a sexually hostile workplace?  I know, "normally" doesn't really apply here.  But it's not just when women are the object of that kind of attention.  I thought that business with Bruno was really creepy, and if the captain knew about it and didn't object, then he's no better than any of the jerks under his "command."

I don't think Jen has had a lifelong love of boats.  I think she's auditioning for her own sitcom, and this is the show she managed to get on.

[esco1822]

1 hour ago, Mountainair said:

What would Captain Lee say? 

From his blog:
"And while were talking about it, Kate, I do realize what you’re up against and can empathize with you succumbing to the temptation to get off the boat and have just a little you time, because you are doing all the work so far. Leaving Jennifer Howell to deal with a charter was a huge leap of faith that I wish you hadn’t taken. You know how I feel about anyone drinking or leaving the boat while on charter, especially with newbies this green. Had I known about it at the time, you and I would have had our own “come to Jesus” chat. But it appears that you had your own “come to Jesus” moment that night. In the future, I would appreciate it if that would not happen again."

[ryebread]

20 minutes ago, yourmomiseasy said:

I've seen sushi served a bunch of times on Below Deck.  I don't recall seeing Dal served once.  Matt couldn't even make the rice without instructions.  

I don't recall sushi being served on the show but I haven't paid attention to every episode.  I didn't mean to say that Dal has been served, I'm just using that as a specialized cuisine that not every chef knows how to prepare without some help.  Kind of like sushi.  As soon as Lee said they wanted sushi, Matt should've arranged for it to be brought in from shore.  But I'll give him props for trying something that isn't in his wheelhouse.   And the guests loved it, so there's that.

 

Perhaps every chef should know how to make sushi rice but I don't think having to consult a recipe to get the proportions exactly right is such a bad thing. 

21 minutes ago, LucyHoneychrrch said:

I'm annoyed with this season.   I dislike this storyline of incompetence.  

Me, too.  Because of this incompetence we had to suffer through Kate's fake Ellie Mae Clampett routine.  So dumb. 

[ryebread]

20 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

From his blog:
"And while were talking about it, Kate, I do realize what you’re up against and can empathize with you succumbing to the temptation to get off the boat and have just a little you time, because you are doing all the work so far. Leaving Jennifer Howell to deal with a charter was a huge leap of faith that I wish you hadn’t taken. You know how I feel about anyone drinking or leaving the boat while on charter, especially with newbies this green. Had I known about it at the time, you and I would have had our own “come to Jesus” chat. But it appears that you had your own “come to Jesus” moment that night. In the future, I would appreciate it if that would not happen again."

I always forget to read the blogs.  Sometimes the best fodder comes from what they write.

That said, Lee has always given Kate a loooooong rope.

[dosodog]

2 hours ago, ryebread said:

Captain Lee on the radio prior to guests' departure:  "Powder your little noses and get your asses out here."

That, in addition to his comment last week to Bri about not getting any massages because of her injured hand and his often-dropped eff bombs have me giving the Cap'n the side eye this season.  Try to keep it classy, Lee.

Right?  Keep it classy, Jesus.

If he was a real Jesus, all he would need is a glass of water...   

[ivygirl]

10 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

I agree. I would rather watch competent people do their job and have the drama not be job related. I can deal with one or two people being newbies at yachting, but when pretty much the whole crew is so green I do not enjoy it as much.

I especially don't like watching newbies in charge of anything related to safety or operating the ship. I don't mind as much having *a* newbie on the interior crew because generally, if they screw up, it's not going to result in millions of dollars of damage or serious injury to the others on board the boat. 

That said, I could totally do without Jen. Are we sure she's not Rachel Dratch playing a Below Deck character?

[Mindthinkr]

39 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

 

That said, I could totally do without Jen. Are we sure she's not Rachel Dratch playing a Below Deck character?

That is funny and really would make a good skit! 

[OnceSane]

I'm glad Bruno is finding his feet as a deckhand, even Captain Lee gave him a compliment!  And I think Chris Brown isn't long for this boat; he's just not learning.  At least he knows his tequila pairings!   And I hope he backs off Bree(sp?), she can actually do her job and doesn't need the harassment.

Jen and Kate beefing will not end well for Jen…Kate has Cap'n's ear and his leniency.  Hot Jesus wasn't that hot.  Not impressed and definitely not worth Kate risking her job.  Who knows?  Maybe he has mad dick game.

[biakbiak]

49 minutes ago, OnceSane said:

Not impressed and definitely not worth Kate risking her job.

I think the problem is now this isn't her job anymore, she's just showing up for the six weeks of the show so she doesn't really give a damn.

[dleighg]

7 hours ago, OnceSane said:

And I think Chris Brown isn't long for this boat; he's just not learning.

and is he trying to mimic an over-the-top stupid surfer dude accent or is that *really* his voice?

[ryebread]

9 hours ago, biakbiak said:

I think the problem is now this isn't her job anymore, she's just showing up for the six weeks of the show so she doesn't really give a damn.

That is probably the case.  She just seems....bored.  With her job and her relationships, on and off the boat.  Watch her interactions with Not Hot Jesus at the bar.  No enthusiasm at all.  Although by that point - after 'raising his mast' the night before, maybe she'd realized that he wasn't all that, after all. 

Then when he asked her if she was buying his beer....lady boner buried forever. 

What kind of man, or woman, does Kate envisions herself with in the long haul?  She said in her first season that she was hoping that yachting would bring her a soul mate.  Wondering what that looks like to her.

[Nancypants]

ChisBrown is stupid, homely, and downright wierd, but he is WAY better than the hair model, Senor Dickhand Trevor.

Also I know that Jesus SAVES , but in this case, Jesu should Shave.

[VagueDisclaimer]

12 hours ago, biakbiak said:

I think the problem is now this isn't her job anymore, she's just showing up for the six weeks of the show so she doesn't really give a damn.

I agree that she seems bored, but I also think part of the reason is that she lacks a good sparring partner here. Everyone is too young, too dumb, and too inexperienced to give her any kind of challenge or real fun with biting words. Captain really is the closest but he can't play that role. Nico is fine but he's not exactly up there either. I wish Amy or Ben was there and man, I never thought I'd miss Ben.

 

The casting of incompetence, as someone nicely coined upthread, is not a fun watch. Last season felt very scripted, esp with Kate playing Cupid to Bemily, but this season is even worse with its storylines glaring out at us. 

Edited September 21, 2017 by VagueDisclaimer

[OnceSane]

2 hours ago, ryebread said:

She said in her first season that she was hoping that yachting would bring her a soul mate.  Wondering what that looks like to her.

Fairly certain it looks like money.  Lots and lots of money.

[curbcrusher]

2 hours ago, ryebread said:

 

Then when he asked her if she was buying his beer....lady boner buried forever. 

 

Kate's response to someone on Twitter saying pretty much the same thing.

 

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, VagueDisclaimer said:

I agree that she seems bored, but I also think part of the reason is that she lacks a good sparring partner here.

Good thought! Without someone to bounce off of or a perfect foil (no pun intended on Ben) she has no one to appreciate her sarcastic wit and humor. She needs someone at her level.  

[ghoulina]

16 hours ago, OnceSane said:

I'm glad Bruno is finding his feet as a deckhand, even Captain Lee gave him a compliment!  And I think Chris Brown isn't long for this boat; he's just not learning.

And he (Chris) just doesn't seem to care. Cap gave them the night off and he's all about boozing it up again. Nico warned him not to get so bad as last time, and Chris laughed if off and said something about napping again! He could have been joking, but I get the impression he truly does not give a FUCK. Earlier, I kind of sided with him against Bruno - I was saying Bruno was too thin-skinned for yachting, and that Chris has the right idea about just letting criticism roll off your back. Except now I think Chris is letting actual instruction roll off his back as well. Whereas Bruno may get his feelings hurt, but he seems to want to TRY. 

[RunnyBabbit]

I totally agree that placing the sushi directly on Bruno's skin was gross -- plus, it would also serve to somewhat heat the sushi as well.  Not to mention the tong-crotch grabbing.  All around, blech.  Although  Bruno was a very good sport about it, so props to him.

On 9/20/2017 at 11:33 AM, ryebread said:

That said, Lee has always given Kate a loooooong rope.

I think he gives her more leeway (heh) because she gets her job done, and does it well.  It's hard to fault someone some "me" time when they consistently rock their job and have also been working overtime to make up for others' incompetence.

[HouseofBeck]

On 9/20/2017 at 0:12 PM, esco1822 said:

From his blog:
"And while were talking about it, Kate, I do realize what you’re up against and can empathize with you succumbing to the temptation to get off the boat and have just a little you time, because you are doing all the work so far. Leaving Jennifer Howell to deal with a charter was a huge leap of faith that I wish you hadn’t taken. You know how I feel about anyone drinking or leaving the boat while on charter, especially with newbies this green. Had I known about it at the time, you and I would have had our own “come to Jesus” chat. But it appears that you had your own “come to Jesus” moment that night. In the future, I would appreciate it if that would not happen again."

I thought I'd read that it's just Bravo staff who write the blogs, but I can't entirely remember. What I do remember is Kate's throwaway line before she went out that she was going to speak with Cap'n Lee, then the editing cut directly to her actually going out. Even the way the blog is worded above makes me think she did speak to him for real. She's too old a hand to make that kind of mistake. 

Then again, I am just glad Kate is on this season because the rest are mostly featureless. 

[RemoteControlFreak]

On 9/20/2017 at 8:23 AM, MyAimIsTrue said:

Whoever in production thought hiring casting incompetence would make for good drama needs to have their ass kicked.  I usually enjoy this show be it in the Caribbean or the Mediterranean but this season is unwatchable.

The producers know that Captain Lee and Kate are the stars of Below Deck.  It's clear they wanted to set up situations where Lee and Kate could shine doing what they do best, which is kicking dead beats to the curb and throwing out snarky one-liners, respectively.

They may have taken this too far.

[MVFrostsMyPie]

On 9/20/2017 at 5:37 PM, ivygirl said:

That said, I could totally do without Jen. Are we sure she's not Rachel Dratch playing a Below Deck character?

 

On 9/20/2017 at 6:18 PM, Mindthinkr said:

That is funny and really would make a good skit! 

 

With Chris Brown as the musical guest...