The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[madpsych78]

Hilaria, I can also imagine the laughing that goes on in that truck. It's probably similar to Beavis and Butt-head:

[SMama]

49 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

Hilaria, I can also imagine the laughing that goes on in that truck. It's probably similar to Beavis and Butt-head:

I can imagine the smell in that truck.

[cmr2014]

Jeremiah's engagement has to be tough on Jana. I do think that she was in some stage of the process with Steve Wissman, but that seems to be over now.

Despite (or more likely because of) their insistence on not "giving away pieces of their hearts," I don't think she has the option to properly mourn a breakup. Since they weren't officially a "thing," she has to pretend that there were no feelings involved and she's just fine.

I personally think that she desperately wants to be married. It's been drilled into her head since childhood that her only value as a human being is as a mother and "helpmeet," and I don't think that she's just fine with being the adult daughter with a garden.

[GeeGolly]

Wow, there's only 3 Duggars of marrying age. That's a first in more than a decade.

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, cmr2014 said:

Jeremiah's engagement has to be tough on Jana. I do think that she was in some stage of the process with Steve Wissman, but that seems to be over now.

Despite (or more likely because of) their insistence on not "giving away pieces of their hearts," I don't think she has the option to properly mourn a breakup. Since they weren't officially a "thing," she has to pretend that there were no feelings involved and she's just fine.

I personally think that she desperately wants to be married. It's been drilled into her head since childhood that her only value as a human being is as a mother and "helpmeet," and I don't think that she's just fine with being the adult daughter with a garden.

IF there was something going on, we have know way of knowing which one of them broke it off. 🤷‍♀️

[dargosmydaddy]

11 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Wow, there's only 3 Duggars of marrying age. That's a first in more than a decade.

Hey, Jackson joins the crew in May... though at the rate the Howlers are being married off, Jason and/or James could be engaged by then.

 

[JoanArc]

15 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

I don't think that she's just fine with being the adult daughter with a garden.

Hey, SHE HAS POTTED PLANTS TOO!

[BetyBee]

1 minute ago, JoanArc said:

Hey, SHE HAS POTTED PLANTS TOO!

And she's cutting back on McDonald's, drinking more water and reading the Bible through this year. Her life is amazing!

[Churchhoney]

7 hours ago, JoanArc said:

Hey, SHE HAS POTTED PLANTS TOO!

But has she built a shelf for them above the head of the bed she shares with various younger sisters and M-kids  her bed so they can fall down and break her skull in the middle of the night?   

Because that's what the people who really live life to the fullest are diong. 

[Nysha]

Now that Jana's pretty much past the age to have a dozen kids, the Family Felon is going to gone for years, and the Lost Girls can take care of themselves, she is probably ready to get married. She would probably like a low-key fundy who likes to pretend play at disaster relief like JD and is willing to stop the baby train after one or two.

[Cinnabon]

I’m not convinced Jana wants to be married. I think other people want that for her. In a family with so many kids, statistically at least one is likely to remain single. And likely that at least one is not heterosexual. 

[GeeGolly]

29 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

I’m not convinced Jana wants to be married. I think other people want that for her. In a family with so many kids, statistically at least one is likely to remain single. And likely that at least one is not heterosexual. 

I'm in the middle. I think she wants to be married but is horrified at the thought of giving birth. In at least two shows Jana could not hide the fact she didn't enjoy accompanying Jill at home births.

So I'm guessing she may have set the husband bar really high when praying for him, and therefore unintentionally, or intentionally self-sabotaging herself.

[ginger90]

[Cinnabon]

Those fucking banana curls in Jana’s hair make me standby.

[GeeGolly]

Jordyn looks like a round-faced Jill in that pic.

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, Nysha said:

Now that Jana's pretty much past the age to have a dozen kids, the Family Felon is going to gone for years, and the Lost Girls can take care of themselves, she is probably ready to get married. She would probably like a low-key fundy who likes to pretend play at disaster relief like JD and is willing to stop the baby train after one or two.

 

5 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

I’m not convinced Jana wants to be married. I think other people want that for her. In a family with so many kids, statistically at least one is likely to remain single. And likely that at least one is not heterosexual. 

 

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm in the middle. I think she wants to be married but is horrified at the thought of giving birth. In at least two shows Jana could not hide the fact she didn't enjoy accompanying Jill at home births.

So I'm guessing she may have set the husband bar really high when praying for him, and therefore unintentionally, or intentionally self-sabotaging herself.

I’m kinda with @GeeGolly.  I think Jana is content with her life but wouldn’t be adverse to being married if she wanted the guy enough. And yes, in a family that large is very likely one child will remain single. I wouldn’t be surprised if 2-3 of the Duggar children didn’t have kids at all. 

[jschoolgirl]

49 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I know which is Jana, of course, but is it Hannie, Jenny, and Jordan? Odd that Josie is not in this one; maybe all 5 wouldn’t fit in the frame. Josie looks like she might have braces.

[dargosmydaddy]

8 minutes ago, jschoolgirl said:

but is it Hannie, Jenny, and Jordan?

Jordyn, Jenny, Hannie

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Johanna looks exactly like Jinger. Jordyn looks like Michelle and Jennifer resembles various Duggar brothers.

[Churchhoney]

9 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

 

I’m kinda with @GeeGolly.  I think Jana is content with her life but wouldn’t be adverse to being married if she wanted the guy enough. 

This is pretty much what I think, too. With a side of -- "All that giving birth...um...not sure..."

if you're one of Meeechelle's daughters, you might well worry (I would!) that you'll be the one who's inherited her uncanny feritility....and when you combine that with a patriarchal Gothardy-type guy (see: banana curls and Jana's single non-nutrition-related plan for this year -- more repeat bible reading through the lens of her cult indoctrination), even with the nicest, most understanding such guy you could be looking at a lot of births. .... A lot. 

I think the prospect of semi-uintentionally becoming the next Meeechelle would slow down the wedding march for pretty many women, even in patriarchal cults. (Of course, for some others it would send them rushing to the altar....)

 

[Rootbeer]

59 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

This is pretty much what I think, too. With a side of -- "All that giving birth...um...not sure..."

if you're one of Meeechelle's daughters, you might well worry (I would!) that you'll be the one who's inherited her uncanny feritility....and when you combine that with a patriarchal Gothardy-type guy (see: banana curls and Jana's single non-nutrition-related plan for this year -- more repeat bible reading through the lens of her cult indoctrination), even with the nicest, most understanding such guy you could be looking at a lot of births. .... A lot. 

I think the prospect of semi-uintentionally becoming the next Meeechelle would slow down the wedding march for pretty many women, even in patriarchal cults. (Of course, for some others it would send them rushing to the altar....)

 

Jana also was old enough to see her fertile mother and sister develop life threatening complications in pregnancy and birth and perhaps to realize those things don't always end so well.  

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Rootbeer said:

Jana also was old enough to see her fertile mother and sister develop life threatening complications in pregnancy and birth and perhaps to realize those things don't always end so well.  

She also found it difficult to watch 8lb humans come out of a 10cm opening. 

[graefin]

Why does Michelle always have the face of a bronze statue in her pics? Look at her compared to the rest of the girls. The difference is stark. What is she doing to herself? Is it just bad makeup?

[drafan]

14 minutes ago, graefin said:

Why does Michelle always have the face of a bronze statue in her pics?

They bronzed her when she was crowned Mother of the Year.

Edited January 9, 2022 by drafan

[ginger90]

[GeeGolly]

7 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Next post will be Jana with a water bottle.

[BetyBee]

29 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Next post will be Jana with a water bottle.

Driving past a McDonald's!

[Chicklet]

Just tell us what you really mean, Jana, jeez no need to be cryptic. I hate posts like that.

I translate it to- My family sucks and my brother is a monster. And get me out of here.

Edited January 9, 2022 by Chicklet

[GeeGolly]

9 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

Just tell us what you really mean, Jana, jeez no need to be cryptic. I hate posts like that.

I translate it to- My family sucks and my brother is a monster. And get me out of here.

I translate it to - sin is coming after the Duggars. I need to double down in prayer before the devil builds anymore fortresses.

[Chicklet]

1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:

I translate it to - sin is coming after the Duggars. I need to double down in prayer before the devil builds anymore fortresses.

The fortress is already inside the house JANA! 

[JoanArc]

3 hours ago, BetyBee said:

Driving past a McDonald's!

With a child by the side of the road.

[babyhouseman]

6 hours ago, graefin said:

Why does Michelle always have the face of a bronze statue in her pics? Look at her compared to the rest of the girls. The difference is stark. What is she doing to herself? Is it just bad makeup?

Maybe it's some kind of self-tanner? Or they have a spray tan booth in the big house.

[Rabbittron]

On 1/8/2022 at 7:05 AM, BetyBee said:

And she's cutting back on McDonald's, drinking more water and reading the Bible through this year. Her life is amazing!

Wow maybe I should try this 🤔

[Cinnabon]

Jana, I do have a right to feel any way at all. 

[cmr2014]

12 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

This is pretty much what I think, too. With a side of -- "All that giving birth...um...not sure..."

if you're one of Meeechelle's daughters, you might well worry (I would!) that you'll be the one who's inherited her uncanny feritility....and when you combine that with a patriarchal Gothardy-type guy (see: banana curls and Jana's single non-nutrition-related plan for this year -- more repeat bible reading through the lens of her cult indoctrination), even with the nicest, most understanding such guy you could be looking at a lot of births. .... A lot. 

I think the prospect of semi-uintentionally becoming the next Meeechelle would slow down the wedding march for pretty many women, even in patriarchal cults. (Of course, for some others it would send them rushing to the altar....)

 

This could be true. We obviously have no way of knowing how she really feels (and, I would imagine, she may not really know how she feels -- she's not really allowed to do that).

I will say that as a single woman who grew up with very liberal parents and who has mostly lived in a very liberal parts of the country, I have felt enormous pressure to marry my whole life. Even non-fundie culture puts endless pressure on women to marry (probably because traditional marriage is a pretty great deal for men and a pretty shitty deal for women, but I digress).

Jana may very well be wary of marriage -- I don't think that any of her brothers-in-law are a glowing example of husband material. She may also be frightened of sex and/or childbirth -- I could easily imagine that. She may well be self-sabotaging her relationships because of her fears.

I do think, though, that the idea that she enjoys being single, caring for her siblings, and tending her garden is based on the idea that she is a modern American woman living in 2022, and that's just not the case. She's a deeply sheltered member of a patriarchal cult living in a tiny social network circa 1880. I think that being unmarried at 30+ is deeply humiliating and a huge challenge to whatever tiny shreds of self esteem she may have left.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, cmr2014 said:

I do think, though, that the idea that she enjoys being single, caring for her siblings, and tending her garden is based on the idea that she is a modern American woman living in 2022, and that's just not the case. She's a deeply sheltered member of a patriarchal cult living in a tiny social network circa 1880. I think that being unmarried at 30+ is deeply humiliating and a huge challenge to whatever tiny shreds of self esteem she may have left.

I don’t quite see it that way. There have always been healthy women who remained unmarried in patriarchal cultures, and there were a few (a small number but a few) reasons for this that were socially acceptable and not seen as a disgrace or a reflection on the woman’s self worth or attractiveness.

Even in 1880, there were women who didn’t want to marry, and if they had the financial means to do so (which Jana does) and the family support to do so (which Jana does) they didn’t get married and often filled out the other roles in the society which may not have had as high of a status as being a wife with a bunch of healthy sons, but were still seen as respectable. 
 

I think for better or worse in 2022, Jana is less likely to be seen as happy tending to her garden and being a caregiver to her siblings because women have so many more choices now, and such she is “supposed” to want “more”. Also, we do a better job in 2022 acknowledging that most people (including women) are beings with strong drives for partnered sex, and since Jana lives in a culture where by she can’t meet that drive outside of marriage, that’s a big motivator to marry. 

[Lisa418722]

9 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

I do think, though, that the idea that she enjoys being single, caring for her siblings, and tending her garden is based on the idea that she is a modern American woman living in 2022, and that's just not the case. She's a deeply sheltered member of a patriarchal cult living in a tiny social network circa 1880. I think that being unmarried at 30+ is deeply humiliating and a huge challenge to whatever tiny shreds of self esteem she may have left.

I think Jana would like to get married; fundie or not most (no, not all) women do get married or wish they were married (see all the dating websites out there). But I also think Jana would rather stay single rather than leave home and have to work and pay her own bills.  She can do her gardening, read her Bible, and (not) go to McDonald's. 

Edited January 10, 2022 by Lisa418722

[GeeGolly]

52 minutes ago, Lisa418722 said:

I think Jana would like to get married; fundie or not most (no, not all) women do get married or wish they were married (see all the dating websites out there). But I also think Jana would rather stay single rather than leave home and have to work and pay her own bills.  She can do her gardening, read her Bible, and (not) go to McDonald's. 

I agree. Never mind the social norm of marriage/partnership, its kind of in human DNA to want to share life with someone. But of course, as you said, this is not true of all folks, male or female.

I do think Jana put marriage off for a bit, knowingly or unknowingly. It seems to me though, Jana is nearing the end of the Fundie sweet spot - too old to have a gazillion kids, but young enough to find a decent Fundie guy.

Maybe Jana and Laura should start a Fundy dating app. They can "pray" with others and poof marriages happen. Of course, all in God's timing.

[galaxygirl76]

If Sarah Maxwell can live on her own so can Jana. I don't think any of us saw coming that Stevehova was going to let that be a thing.

[Tikichick]

On 1/8/2022 at 10:01 PM, Cinnabon said:

Those fucking banana curls in Jana’s hair make me standby.

Her hair caught my attention too.   I'm fascinated by the idea that she's obviously still dedicated to the banana curls on her own behalf because her younger sisters clearly aren't being required to style their hair that way.   

Sure, hair is pretty inconsequential, yet it somehow really shines a light on JB & M raising their kids with a lot of meaningless nonsense that they can't even be bothered to be consistent with.   Seems impossible that many of the Duggar offspring wouldn't have questions sprouting up in their minds.   Wonder what would happen if anybody started voicing them.

[Cinnabon]

6 hours ago, Lisa418722 said:

I think Jana would like to get married; fundie or not most (no, not all) women do get married or wish they were married (see all the dating websites out there). But I also think Jana would rather stay single rather than leave home and have to work and pay her own bills.  She can do her gardening, read her Bible, and (not) go to McDonald's. 

Not everyone uses dating websites to find a future spouse. 

[Turquoise]

On 1/8/2022 at 8:55 PM, ginger90 said:

I did not realize how much Josie & Jackson resemble each other until this picture. Maybe it's the way she's wearing her hair back?

[Rootbeer]

On 1/8/2022 at 9:55 PM, ginger90 said:

32 year old Jana, out shopping and having lunch with her mother and sisters, the oldest of whom is 16.  They have so much in common!  I'm sure they share their deepest thoughts and feelings!  How lucky for Jana that she has a 16 year old to be her bestie when she is 32!

I know Laura is still around someplace, but these posts where we're supposed to believe that Jana and the lost girls are so close just make me stabby.  I happen to have a sister who is almost 16 years younger than me.  We're close now; but when I was 29, I was not relying on her for my social life, nor were we big confidantes.  Other than the same parents, we didn't have a huge amount in common.  Because I was 32 and she was not.

Edited January 10, 2022 by Rootbeer

[Turquoise]

4 minutes ago, Rootbeer said:

29 year old Jana, out shopping and having lunch with her mother and sisters, the oldest of whom is 16.  They have so much in common!  I'm sure they share their deepest thoughts and feelings!  How lucky for Jana that she has a 16 year old to be her bestie when she is 29!

I know Laura is still around someplace, but these posts where we're supposed to believe that Jana and the lost girls are so close just make me stabby.  I happen to have a sister who is almost 16 years younger than me.  We're close now; but when I was 29, I was not relying on her for my social life, nor were we big confidantes.  Other than the same parents, we didn't have a huge amount in common.  Because I was 29 and she was not.

Even worse...she will be 32 on Wednesday.
I'm only 6 years younger than my sister. We aren't close. First it was age, now it's the fact that we're polar opposites. I'm very thankful I wasn't forced into her being my only friend, due to the fact that our other sibling is male.

[Rootbeer]

1 minute ago, Turquoise said:

Even worse...she will be 32 on Wednesday.
I'm only 6 years younger than my sister. We aren't close. First it was age, now it's the fact that we're polar opposites. I'm very thankful I wasn't forced into her being my only friend, due to the fact that our other sibling is male.

Thanks, I fixed it.  So Jana is about the same age difference as I am from my sister.   We did become close later in life, I'm closer to her than any of my other siblings; but it didn't happen until she was in college and beyond.  You know, like an adult.

[Scarlett45]

8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I do think Jana put marriage off for a bit, knowingly or unknowingly. It seems to me though, Jana is nearing the end of the Fundie sweet spot - too old to have a gazillion kids, but young enough to find a decent Fundie guy.

1 hour ago, Rootbeer said:

Thanks, I fixed it.  So Jana is about the same age difference as I am from my sister.   We did become close later in life, I'm closer to her than any of my other siblings; but it didn't happen until she was in college and beyond.  You know, like an adult.

 

I quoted you both my my formatting is messed up. 
 

@GeeGolly I agree that Jana’s current pool of partners is shrinking. Most men around her age in her social group are already married with kids. 
 

@Rootbeer I think it’s very possible Jana can be close with her little sisters emotionally, but you’re right- it’s NOT a peer relationship. A lot of people have close relationships with their much older siblings and “big cousins” but it’s a caregiver type relationship, not a peer. I had so many wonderful memories with my big cousin who is 16 years older than me. She would be the one to take me out to the movies and things because my parents were working, and they trusted her to watch other me and my friends. 
 

But I think that it’s good Jana has Laura- even though one is single, one may want to have social interactions within their peer group. 

2 hours ago, Turquoise said:

I did not realize how much Josie & Jackson resemble each other until this picture. Maybe it's the way she's wearing her hair back?

Yes I think the hairstyle highlights it. They look a lot a like. 

[Panopticon]

16 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Also, we do a better job in 2022 acknowledging that most people (including women) are beings with strong drives for partnered sex, and since Jana lives in a culture where by she can’t meet that drive outside of marriage, that’s a big motivator to marry. 

If I were Jana, that would be high on my list of reasons for staying single. Sex in Duggar-world, like a lot of things in Duggar-world, sounds like a really bad deal for women. Sure, Michelle tells us it doesn’t take long and you can tough it out through the bad breath. But you have to be joyfully available at all times to a man who was raised to view you as his obedient subordinate in all things. Caring about his partner’s pleasure is not going to come naturally after a lifetime of snapping his fingers at his sisters to get them to bring him a soda. And even assuming these men mostly don’t want rape, it’s not going to come naturally to the woman to say “I don’t feel like it today” or “can we go slow and try out XYZ to see how that feels.” 
 

Of course it won’t be true for many couples, maybe even most. But there’s still a terrific  chance of sex being painful and boring for women in that culture… and if it is, they have no way out but death. 

[Zella]

From what I've read, once siblings have a 5-year-age difference between them, they cease to function as siblings with a more traditional dynamic. (And according to birth order, they'd act more like 2 only children than older/younger). 

I have one brother who is 1.5 years older than me and 2 half brothers who are 14 and 17 years older than me. Granted, with the older two, it's not as close because we weren't really raised together (minus a year I don't remember because I was literally a baby), and we also were not in contact with each other for 20 years and only have reconnected in the past 2 years, solely via phone. But even when I was kid and saw them more, my relationship with them was more like a niece and uncle than siblings. They were much nicer to me than I would have been in that situation, and I have no doubt they love me (and I love them!), but it was just not the same sibling experience at all. With me in my early 30s and them in their mid 40s/early 50s, it's less of an issue. 

Beyond the age gap, I think Jana's relationships with her younger siblings are always going to be colored by the fact that she was an authority figure and parent figure in their life. So, they may go out and have a nice time, but I don't know that it's the same dynamic as a sibling relationship without the parentification. I personally don't think Jana is a rebel and that she has a lot of her parents' trust because she has earned it in their eyes, so it wouldn't surprise me if Jana's presence is always that of knowing you have a potential narc in your presence. It's hard to let your hair down in that situation. 

[scriggle]

20 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Also, we do a better job in 2022 acknowledging that most people (including women) are beings with strong drives for partnered sex, and since Jana lives in a culture where by she can’t meet that drive outside of marriage, that’s a big motivator to marry. 

Or perhaps she is asexual and she finds even the idea of sex repulsive. Or she could be demisexual and needs a deep emotional bond prior to experiencing any sexual attraction.  Not that she'd ever be able to articulate any of this. Instead she may have set ridiculously high and specific criteria for any potential suitor so she can rationalize why they're not the one for her.

 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, scriggle said:

Or perhaps she is asexual and she finds even the idea of sex repulsive. Or she could be demisexual and needs a deep emotional bond prior to experiencing any sexual attraction.  Not that she'd ever be able to articulate any of this. Instead she may have set ridiculously high and specific criteria for any potential suitor so she can rationalize why they're not the one for her.

 

Yes this is very true.