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S09.E08: Return of the Berzerkshires


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Dorinda’s smashed birthday cake confused me.

I thought her mom made her a birthday cake every year. Remember she freaked out on Luann last year in the kitchen?

rhony-ramona-luann.jpg

Was this not from her mom who lives nearby? Someone made this cake for her, but not a bakery, otherwise the name of the bakery would be on a nice box. That was a crappy cardboard box. So wouldn’t the cake have been driven over in a cake box on someone’s lap or placed right side up in the car?

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(edited)
1 hour ago, JD5166 said:

I think Lu said it all last night when she said she didn't understand what everyone had such a problem, she and Tom are two LIKE MINDED people. 

"When I turn on the television at three in the morning, Tom doesn't care - the noise on the tv set doesn't distract him from the second broad in our bed -- I like being like-minded!"

I think part of Luann's frustration (and mine) with these pinched-faced brats is that we've been down this road before, and (like a bad soap opera) the rinse repeat cycle is both boring and annoying.  It was repulsive the first time (middle-aged women gossiping and giggling like mean tweens, after Bethenny had gone Carrie-in-the-shower on Luann at Dorinda's) but the repeat is likely to be even worse, all of them playing Rainwoman ("January 12 very snowy that day 7.2 inches of snow that day Tom cheated that day!") And it's all likely being done to repair Bethenny's reputation ("See, it CAN cry!") before she wanders the planet turning perfectly fine apartments into starship command centers.  None of them seem to have grasped that Luann made her choice with open eyes. Period. Done deal.  And this second round of bullshit makes them appear creepily over- invested, with no life of their own beyond sitting on the sidelines of Luann's existence, throwing peanut shells at the bride. (But Luann is the delusional one in this scenario; uh hunh.) 

And just from a story perspective, at this point, it's the equivalent of some crazy asshole shoving lima beans in my mouth while screaming "JUST ONE MORE TASTE! TRUST ME! THIS TIME YOU WILL LOVE IT!"

Edited by film noire
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1 hour ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Their walk together was weird, weird, weird.  This was the first time we got to see more of Tom speaking & the dynamic/chemistry between these 2 -- which looked so forced to me, I was cringing.  I thought Tom was kinda girly.  Sorry, but I don't get his appeal at all.  I mean, for all these older ladies he's banging, can someone clue me in on what they see in him?  Sure, he's got some dough, but he's certainly not mega rich.  His looks are meh.  He doesn't seem to have much charm or sense of humor.  Even his legs were unimpressive.  Seems bland & dull to me.  And a serial cheater to boot?  Uh, this ain't a catch, Lu.  I guess maybe there's not much to choose from for these women?  

Still, in the end, it's her choice to marry him & be with him.  I couldn't believe they were spending the bulk of this ep talking about Tom & his cheater ways & whether Lu should or will marry him.  It's her business.  Why would anyone else care?  And this is the same shit they were doing last season, which I had the same reaction to.  I'm just baffled they're still on this jag.  Good grief, they need to move on & get off this dull topic.  If this is the direction for the season, I'm probably gonna check out.

Man, the storyline of Tinz living with Sonja is really getting stale.  And it's unbelievable as hell.  We know she's a very rich woman & can casually check into a hotel while she's looking for a place to buy.  Bad scripting here, producers.  End it.

Carole sure is a bundle of contradictions & delusions, ain't she?  She tries to sound self-aware in her TH's & yet she was acting like Adam's parents were 30 years older than her -- instead of the probable 5 to 10 years.  And hey, I'm all for a good Trump dig or joke.  And yet when Moaner was talking to Carole about Tom's aggressive move on some lady, I didn't care for Carole saying it was like a Trump move.  Maybe cuz I want a break from thinking about him when I'm watching this show.  Cut this shit out, Carole.  Interesting how Moaner sorta defended Trump.  OK, Moaner we now know where your head is at regarding Trump, eh?

I love house porn.  I really do.  But MDL bores the absolutely fuck outta me & all the bullshit going on turns me off.  If Bethenny wants her own MDL & she now wants to be a Manhattan flipper (I didn't know there could possibly be a such a thing in Manhattan), then fine, wonderful & dandy for her.  But please don't turn this show into that shit.  Moving in general is a horrible prospect.  Moving around in Manhattan is particularly dreadful.  I don't mean the actual moving itself -- altho that surely is annoying.  I mean, finding another place, dealing with brokers & landlords/owners.  It's horrible.  Bethenny's making it sound like a picnic & a day at the beach.  It isn't & as usual, she's full of crap.  Why she'd wanna sell her place, after she went thru all the trouble of finding it & renovating it, is beyond me.  Other than as a basis for this new show of hers, that is.  Seems completely nuts to me.

I did too but I wasn't brave enough (to be the first) to say it!

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15 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I thought that Ernestine was a TM of Lily Tomlin that she began on Laugh In. 

See, I thought it was Laugh in but I googled it to confirm and kept coming up with SNL skits..... so I figured okay then...

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9 minutes ago, film noire said:

"When I turn on the television at three in the morning, Tom doesn't care - the noise on the tv set doesn't distract him from the second broad in our bed -- I like being like-minded!"

I think part of Luann's frustration (and mine) with these pinched-faced brats is that we've been down this road before, and (like a bad soap opera) the rinse repeat cycle is both boring and annoying.  It was repulsive the first time (middle-aged women gossiping and giggling like mean tweens, after Bethenny had gone Carrie-in-the-shower on Luann at Dorinda's) but the repeat is likely to be even worse, all of them playing Rainwoman ("January 12 very snowy that day 7.2 inches of snow that day Tom cheated that day!") And it's all likely being done to repair Bethenny's reputation ("See, it CAN cry!") before she wanders the planet turning perfectly fine apartments into starship command centers.  None of them seem to have grasped that Luann made her choice with open eyes. Period. Done deal.  And this second round of bullshit makes them appear creepily over- invested, with no life of their own beyond sitting on the sidelines of Luann's existence, throwing peanut shells at the bride. (But Luann is the delusional one in this scenario; uh hunh.) 

And just from a story perspective, at this point, it's the equivalent of some crazy asshole shoving lima beans in my mouth while screaming "JUST ONE MORE TASTE! TRUST ME! THIS TIME YOU WILL LOVE IT!"

LOVE IT!!!!

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(edited)
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because none of them are actually in relationships except maybe Carole

Carole, Dorinda, and Bethenny were all in relationships at the time of filming.

Edited by BBHN
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21 minutes ago, ryebread said:

Here's the original video.  I'm convinced that baby is really an 80 year old woman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nszoNrR8rAI

BWAHAHAAAAAAAAA.    Rye black folk have a phrase for children like that (that exhibit things years beyond their maturity or understanding) - we say he or she "has been here before".   So you're right it could be an 80 year old woman....in her first life.  Lmaooo!!!

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12 hours ago, Missmissie173 said:

I am sure that this has been asked and answered, but why in the HELL is Tinsley living with Sonja?  I thought Tinsley got a huge settlement from Topper...why would she live with anyone, much less lunatic Sonja in Casa Creepy Filthfest?  I know a story line for Sonja and all that jazz, but this show has become ridiculously unwatchable.  I think I have only seen a total of 3 episodes this entire season (so boring) so maybe I missed something?  I just check out the posts on here. Way more entertaining!

Last night's was the first one all season I watched as it was broadcast. Like you, MissMissie173, I am back to reading here and then *maybe catching the episode on rerun, next week!

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I am with others who believe that Lu entered in to this relationship, her engagement, and her marriage with eyes wide open. She knows who Tom is and what he does. I just think that she has her bases covered and genuinely does not care. At this point, she wants the companionship and to be with someone like-minded. If he can still give her what he needs while stepping out with other women, then she's going to be okay with it. What baffles me is why the other women harp on it so much. I don't even think it is really out of jealousy. I just think that they don't understand Lu and why she doesn't clutch her pearls and walk away once she finds out about cheating.

Bottom line: Everyone has different deal breakers in their relationships, and some people are not hell bent on having monogamy. Lu will never acknowledge that she doesn't care about monogamy because she knows the viewers will rip her to shreds for having an unconventional view on things, but in her first marriage, her relationship with Jacques, and now her marriage to Tom, I don't think monogamy has ever been there. The other women need to just let it go because I'm tired of hearing about it.

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(edited)
Quote

genuinely does not care

I wonder, when she was shown evidence of his cheating last year, did she genuinely care about what he did, or did she only care that he was caught in a public way?

Edited by BBHN
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(edited)

I do't care if Lu and Tom have an understanding, and if he is free to cheat as long as he doesn't embarrass Luann. What I have a problem with is Luann holding up her relationship as something it is not and thinking that I, as a viewer, am too stupid not to know the difference. 

She appeared to be devastated when confronted with the pictures of Tom playing tonsil hockey with his ex. She told Bethenny that she had an open relationship with the count that she did not want, and that she did not have an open relationship with Tom. A few epis ago when having lunch with Ramona she said that Tom had better not being fooling around (to paraphrase). 

In her TH last night, she said that she and Tom are like minded people, and that being in synch with a person and loving them at the same time is magic. Now her relationship with Tom is about as far from magic as one could get in my eyes, but then I have different standards than Lu does. 

So basically what she says she will put up with and wants, is not what she is apparently getting. But she has chosen to marry Tom regardless. But the saying one thing and doing another is what I have a problem with. I think Lu has very little self esteem, and I feel sorry for her that she doesn't think she can do better. 

Everytime I see Tom, I am flabbergasted at what she sees in him. He is short, bald, bland, and has the personality of a wet dish rag. Add to that that he apparently has little man syndrome and feels the need to prove himself with women even when engaged (who knows now that he is married)  and I don't get the attraction. At all. 

Edited by UsernameFatigue
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4 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

Everytime I see Tom, I am flabbergasted at what she sees in him. He is short, bald, bland, and has the personality of a wet dish rag. Add to that that he apparently has little man syndrome and feels the need to prove himself with women even when engaged (who knows now that he is married)  and I don't get the attraction. At all. 

ETA:  He's got good legs AND an apartment with a wrap around terrace.

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14 hours ago, bagger said:

Soooo, Sonia's "assistant" and Sonja just sit around the house not answering the door unless they know the person knocking is calling on Sonja? It has taken me all these ours to figure out how to phrase that without sounding as stupid as Sonja did in that arguement but yep, yeah, no way to avoid it. 

I think she doesn't answer because she's afraid of being served

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Just now, ryebread said:

ETA:  He's got good legs AND an apartment with a wrap around terrace.

Lol. I would live in pretty much anyone else's apartment ahead of Tom's. Other than Carol's. It is way too small and I would rather have space that I can use year round than a tiny apartment with outdoor space.  I laughed when Lu said that Tom lets her turn on the TV at night as a selling point for Tom. My hubby often wakes up and watches TV at night. But he has to go to another room to do it as I hate the TV on when I am sleeping. But we have a big house and 4 other rooms with TVs so he has lots of places he can to go watch if need be. Lu has no other option than the bedroom (I don't remember a TV in the LR so I guess the only one is in the BR). 

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1 minute ago, UsernameFatigue said:

I think they are good if you are a female (they look like mine), not so much for a guy. 

I've sunk to a new low....I'm defending Tom's legs. LOL.  They don't have much hair which is why, at first, I saw girly chicken legs, too, but his quads and calves are more well-developed and defined than any woman I know and most men, too. 

Those moobs, though.

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Just now, Drumpf1737 said:

Tom doesn't look like he needs to lift his belly to see his dick which is saying a lot for a man his age so I have no problem with him.

At 50, I don't think that is all that unusual. I can't think of any male friends that would have to do that, and my hubby at 61 certainly doesn't have to. 

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1 minute ago, BBHN said:

I'm guessing he is hung like a horse.

Nah.  When I rewound to re-verify that his legs are good I might've glanced at the package underneath those clingy nylon running shorts.  For science.  Nothing to see there.

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1 hour ago, Thumper said:

I did too but I wasn't brave enough (to be the first) to say it!

Ditto. When he was walking away he did have a feminine stride. 

1 minute ago, ryebread said:

Nah.  When I rewound to re-verify that his legs are good I might've glanced at the package underneath those clingy nylon running shorts.  For science.  Nothing to see there.

For science LOL!!!

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Quote

Nah.  When I rewound to re-verify that his legs are good I might've glanced at the package underneath those clingy nylon running shorts.  For science.  Nothing to see there.

So average penis and girly chicken legs? Damn, how much does a penthouse view turn on Luann?

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4 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

Lol. I would live in pretty much anyone else's apartment ahead of Tom's.

I can't see Lulu picking a 4,000 sq ft. loft in Soho ala Bethenny - no matter how many times she faux-slums it downtown with her niece, Nicole.  Lu is an UES lady who lunches.  Forever and always.  She's going to pick location, location, location every time.  And a wrap-around terrace in NYC is like a house on a cul-de-sac with a backyard and a built-in pool, out here in the 'burbs.  She's the type, that no matter how small and cramped, she's gonna love telling everyone she meets that she lives in a dee-luxe apartment in the sky.  They'll never know it's a one bedroom.  Many NYers will just be impressed that it's a penthouse with a terrace.

FWIW, I'd pick Tom's apartment if I wanted to live in the city again. I love high rises in NYC with outdoor space. My husband and I are likethis whenever we're home and our big house has been wasted on us.  The great room we had to have is only great, and used, when we have large gatherings.  We live in the smallish TV room, the kitchen and our bedroom.  That said, we're empty nesters now and like Tom and Lu, we'd rather have a couple small places than a big one with a yard that needs tons of upkeep that most rooms are now unused. 

I'm ready to simplify and de-personalize my surroundings.

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42 minutes ago, sekay87 said:

I am with others who believe that Lu entered in to this relationship, her engagement, and her marriage with eyes wide open. She knows who Tom is and what he does. I just think that she has her bases covered and genuinely does not care. At this point, she wants the companionship and to be with someone like-minded. If he can still give her what he needs while stepping out with other women, then she's going to be okay with it. What baffles me is why the other women harp on it so much. I don't even think it is really out of jealousy. I just think that they don't understand Lu and why she doesn't clutch her pearls and walk away once she finds out about cheating.

Bottom line: Everyone has different deal breakers in their relationships, and some people are not hell bent on having monogamy. Lu will never acknowledge that she doesn't care about monogamy because she knows the viewers will rip her to shreds for having an unconventional view on things, but in her first marriage, her relationship with Jacques, and now her marriage to Tom, I don't think monogamy has ever been there. The other women need to just let it go because I'm tired of hearing about it.

You and Me both and

AMEN!

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Isn't it interesting that the only person who seems to be happy and content and have something good going on in their life is Luann.

Sonja is feuding with her house guest and as usual on the edge of financial ruin.

Tinsley can't find a date among her peers so is using a younger dude to assuage her feelings that life had passed her by.

That's Carole's lane.

Bethenny is bitter. Bitter about her divorce. About her ex. About her old apartment. About her new apartment. About her daughters extra tutu.

Dorinda is drunk and stupid and left the cake out in the rain. And upside down.

Ramona is out on the prowl like a rabid hyena. Very good look for a demented looking 60 year old with balloon sized fake titties.  Should attract a lot of guys who she can harangue about how terrible Luann's life and choices are when they don't even know her.

Luann is the only one enjoying life. Piloting her boat with the wind in her hairs. So what if the promiscuous chicken has a tiny dinghy. It's not the size of the ship it is the motion of the ocean. She is getting her dress. Getting her plans done. Getting her Wedding on. Suck it bitches.

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(edited)
38 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

I do't care if Lu and Tom have an understanding, and if he is free to cheat as long as he doesn't embarrass Luann. What I have a problem with is Luann holding up her relationship as something it is not and thinking that I, as a viewer, am too stupid not to know the difference. 

She appeared to be devastated when confronted with the pictures of Tom playing tonsil hockey with his ex. She told Bethenny that she had an open relationship with the count that she did not want, and that she did not have an open relationship with Tom. A few epis ago when having lunch with Ramona she said that Tom had better not being fooling around (to paraphrase). 

In her TH last night, she said that she and Tom are like minded people, and that being in synch with a person and loving them at the same time is magic. Now her relationship with Tom is about as far from magic as one could get in my eyes, but then I have different standards than Lu does. 

So basically what she says she will put up with and wants, is not what she is apparently getting. But she has chosen to marry Tom regardless. But the saying one thing and doing another is what I have a problem with. I think Lu has very little self esteem, and I feel sorry for her that she doesn't think she can do better. 

Everytime I see Tom, I am flabbergasted at what she sees in him. He is short, bald, bland, and has the personality of a wet dish rag. Add to that that he apparently has little man syndrome and feels the need to prove himself with women even when engaged (who knows now that he is married)  and I don't get the attraction. At all. 

I think what Lu wants is for people to stop acting like she NEEDS to define it one way or the other.

I also think Lu tries to "define" in terms that people will accept so that she doesn't have to go down yet another rabbit hole trying to get out from under all the judgements that will come with her acknowledging whatever it is people want from her.

I'm always amused at how offended and truly off put the other ladies are with Lu's resistance in giving them what they want. Its funny to see grown ups allow themselves to be so emotionally affected by what Lu does or does not admit to. LOL!

Edited by Yours Truly
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Just now, Trooper York said:

Bethenny is bitter. Bitter about her divorce. About her ex. About her old apartment. About her new apartment. About her daughters extra tutu.

Dorinda is drunk and stupid and left the cake out in the rain. And upside down.
 

Luann is the only one enjoying life. Piloting her boat with the wind in her hairs. So what if the promiscuous chicken has a tiny dinghy.

Suck it bitches.

The bolded.  OMG LMAO

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Quote

What I have a problem with is Luann holding up her relationship as something it is not and thinking that I, as a viewer, am too stupid not to know the difference. 

The smoke and mirrors about that relationship were pretty obvious even last season.

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6 minutes ago, Trooper York said:

Isn't it interesting that the only person who seems to be happy and content and have something good going on in their life is Luann.

Sonja is feuding with her house guest and as usual on the edge of financial ruin.

Tinsley can't find a date among her peers so is using a younger dude to assuage her feelings that life had passed her by.

That's Carole's lane.

Bethenny is bitter. Bitter about her divorce. About her ex. About her old apartment. About her new apartment. About her daughters extra tutu.

Dorinda is drunk and stupid and left the cake out in the rain. And upside down.

Ramona is out on the prowl like a rabid hyena. Very good look for a demented looking 60 year old with balloon sized fake titties.  Should attract a lot of guys who she can harangue about how terrible Luann's life and choices are when they don't even know her.

Luann is the only one enjoying life. Piloting her boat with the wind in her hairs. So what if the promiscuous chicken has a tiny dinghy. It's not the size of the ship it is the motion of the ocean. She is getting her dress. Getting her plans done. Getting her Wedding on. Suck it bitches.

Hysterical!!!

But wait you didn't get the memo? Lu is down low miserable or about to be. It has to be true the other wives deem it so..

LOL!

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Tom doesn't look like he needs to lift his belly to see his dick which is saying a lot for a man his age so I have no problem with him.

That's also true for most of the men we have seen on this show.

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I don't think she is holding it up to be something it is not. I think she is saying it is what it is. That she is happy with it. That the chicken is happy with it. That it really is not the business of anyone else. Especially people who have always disliked her like Bethenny and Ramona and who claim to be concerned for her but really only want to tear her down.

She has said  "I am fine with it. I love Tom. It is nobodies business but me so butt out. Suck it bitches. I am getting married and you are not."

  • Love 12
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1 minute ago, Trooper York said:

I don't think she is holding it up to be something it is not. I think she is saying it is what it is. That she is happy with it. That the chicken is happy with it. That it really is not the business of anyone else. Especially people who have always disliked her like Bethenny and Ramona and who claim to be concerned for her but really only want to tear her down.

She has said  "I am fine with it. I love Tom. It is nobodies business but me so butt out. Suck it bitches. I am getting married and you are not."

What's so confusing is beyond me.

LOL!

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She appeared to be devastated when confronted with the pictures of Tom playing tonsil hockey with his ex.

You'd think, given that he is involved with someone on a reality show, he'd be more discreet.

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8 hours ago, motorcitymom65 said:

I love Bronner's. 

Hey, can you guys stop and pick me up? I live in an adorable village about 40 minutes from Bronners. I will invite you in for some nice Gluhwein to fortify us for the drive. I promise I will make it nice. We can run over and pick up Ryebread as well. And my promise to her is that I won't put my feet on the dashboard. Just this once. For her. 

Summit County in the house!

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(edited)
22 minutes ago, ryebread said:

I can't see Lulu picking a 4,000 sq ft. loft in Soho ala Bethenny - no matter how many times she faux-slums it downtown with her niece, Nicole.  Lu is an UES lady who lunches.  Forever and always.  She's going to pick location, location, location every time.  And a wrap-around terrace in NYC is like a house on a cul-de-sac with a backyard and a built-in pool, out here in the 'burbs.  She's the type, that no matter how small and cramped, she's gonna love telling everyone she meets that she lives in a dee-luxe apartment in the sky.  They'll never know it's a one bedroom.  Many NYers will just be impressed that it's a penthouse with a terrace.

FWIW, I'd pick Tom's apartment if I wanted to live in the city again. I love high rises in NYC with outdoor space. My husband and I are likethis whenever we're home and our big house has been wasted on us.  The great room we had to have is only great, and used, when we have large gatherings.  We live in the smallish TV room, the kitchen and our bedroom.  That said, we're empty nesters now and like Tom and Lu, we'd rather have a couple small places than a big one with a yard that needs tons of upkeep that most rooms are now unused. 

I'm ready to simplify and de-personalize my surroundings.

Hubby and I moved into our big house when it was only just the two of us. And our cats which have numbered anywhere from 3 to 6. We also have deer, ducks, chipmunks, squirrels, marmots, quail, mourning doves and any number of other birds. Outdoor space is wasted on me unless it comes with wildlife. But if I had to live in a big city (and I have previously in apartments as small as Tom's, and with outdoor space as well ) I could only live in an area that small if I was single again. I like my space. And we pretty much use every area of our house, including the catio that we built for the kitties. As I tell people, home is where I go to get away from people. Lol. 

Edited by UsernameFatigue
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19 minutes ago, ryebread said:

I can't see Lulu picking a 4,000 sq ft. loft in Soho ala Bethenny - no matter how many times she faux-slums it downtown with her niece, Nicole.  Lu is an UES lady who lunches.  Forever and always.  She's going to pick location, location, location every time.  And a wrap-around terrace in NYC is like a house on a cul-de-sac with a backyard and a built-in pool, out here in the 'burbs.  She's the type, that no matter how small and cramped, she's gonna love telling everyone she meets that she lives in a dee-luxe apartment in the sky.  They'll never know it's a one bedroom.  Many NYers will just be impressed that it's a penthouse with a terrace.

FWIW, I'd pick Tom's apartment if I wanted to live in the city again. I love high rises in NYC with outdoor space. My husband and I are likethis whenever we're home and our big house has been wasted on us.  The great room we had to have is only great, and used, when we have large gatherings.  We live in the smallish TV room, the kitchen and our bedroom.  That said, we're empty nesters now and like Tom and Lu, we'd rather have a couple small places than a big one with a yard that needs tons of upkeep that most rooms are now unused. 

I'm ready to simplify and de-personalize my surroundings.

Now I have the Jefferson's theme song in my head.  HA!

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It's funny how people think Lu is so happy. So did not look happy when presented with the tonsil hockey pics - she broke down and was devastated. She did not look happy when in her conversation with Ramona she said that Tom had better not be fooling around. She did not look happy when Dorinda told her that Tom apparently is still going after other women and groping them. She looks like someone who is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not a way I would want to live. 

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(edited)

Hopefully Tom will start acting like he is on a period drama on PBS when it comes to his extracurricular affairs, at least.

Edited by BBHN
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2 minutes ago, UsernameFatigue said:

It's funny how people think Lu is so happy. So did not look happy when presented with the tonsil hockey pics - she broke down and was devastated. She did not look happy when in her conversation with Ramona she said that Tom had better not be fooling around. She did not look happy when Dorinda told her that Tom apparently is still going after other women and groping them. She looks like someone who is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not a way I would want to live. 

Why would anyone look happy in any of these conversations? There are just as many, actually a lot more moments where she has looked happy.

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