S05.E09: Nicole's Story

[peaceknit]

I'm diabetic too, and stopped drinking regular HFCS sodas (and which I was pretty addicted to) the day I was Dx'd. What I do now is mix sparkling water with a splash of one of those Mio no-sugar sweeteners in it, or just drink plain still water. Before that, I NEVER drank plain water willingly, but now find that I love it. It's all about retraining your tastebuds. It's difficult, but can be done. 

I can usually tell when my bs is high, because my vision gets blurry. It was one of the first symptoms I had, but did not know it. The diabetes diagnosis really came out of the blue at age 54, because i've always been healthy, and no doctor ever ordered a blood test.  Diabetes does not run in my family, but I was probably pre-diabetic for a long time. What worries me are the numbers of young people who are already diabetic!

[mamadrama]

10 hours ago, notyrmomma said:

I finally got around to watching the last hour of the show.  I think Insane Clown Posse should cut Nicole a check for all the exposure that she gave them!  I had no idea that ICP was still around, much less a "thing."  I thought they went away with the Y2K debacle that wasn't.  I don't get out much though.

As far as the mother taking the kids back to Ohio--BAD IDEA!  You don't let people who express their resentment about raising your kids RAISE YOUR KIDS!  I didn't see any reason why Nicole and Charlie couldn't raise them, especially since as Nicole lost weight, she gained mobility, and nothing gives you a better workout than chasing toddlers!  Besides, those kids seemed tame, like they were used to being ignored and yelled at.  They seemed very quiet for toddlers.  My kids were hellions when they were that age.  

Oh, and staged or not, you never EVER leave a toddler in a tub when not in reach of an adult.  NOT EVEN FOR A SECOND!  Many kids have drown while the mom leaves for a second to pick up a ringing phone.

Thank to you guys, I fell down a rabbit hole learning all about The Gathering, Juggalos, and Jugalettes. It was...enlightening. The more you know, I guess! :-)

I think this family would have benefited from a family preservationist. These are social workers who come into the home and help the family make choices and changes that will ensure the child/ren are not removed. Each program is tailored specifically to that family and is dependent upon their needs. As someone said upthread, they didn't seem to have a lot of "life skills." It is highly possible that they did not realize that screaming and name calling in front of their children is highly inappropriate and even damaging. (I think there were some learning disabilities across the board.) Some parenting classes, nutritional classes, anger management sessions, etc. would probably be helpful to this family. In social work today, it is less about removing the children and placing them in foster care (which is currently overcrowded and has its own set of problems) and more about fixing the home environment to ensure the children are safe and happy. I've worked with many families that were at risk for removal and after a three-month intensive course (I would spent 10-15 hours in their home each week) we saw some major changes. We also shared resources with them that they weren't previously aware of, helped parents enroll in school or receive their GEDs, secured childcare for safety and work-related issues, taught proper money management, etc. Unfortunately, not everyone learns these things growing up.  

[cynic]

On 3/2/2017 at 3:40 PM, DC Gal in VA said:

Which got me to wondering about what everyone else's "last meal" would be before going on a diet? It changes all the time for me, but since I've been low carbing it for the last few months, right now I'd like a hot, buttery loaf of garlic bread, a giant, very upscale bowl of cioppino washed down with a bottle of Prosecco and couple of cannolis and chocolate gelato for dessert.

How about the rest of you?

Korean BBQ, particularly beef short ribs with rice, kimchi, and all the side dishes.

On 3/3/2017 at 0:20 PM, Cherrio said:

...         I would not of approved Nicole for the show.  Since it is clear from various Facebook pages she thinks she is a recording artist and is very active in this disgusting juggalo life, she could use that energy to lose weight on her own and most important, take care of her children. Imo, they were being verbally abused and neglected at the very least. Put her in jail for that, give her a physical job and she would lose the weight while paying the price for being a horrible mother.

I can't believe they did not shut it down after the drug raid. Instead they reward a bunch of criminals.

Like TLC would pass up the trainwreck drama of drug raids and porch baths. 

RE: the generation changes in eating habits, I really enjoyed this book. By the number of people who have used the phrase "salt, sugar, and fat", I would guess that more than a few of you know about it already. I don't know if I agree with all his conclusions and it's not the whole story, but I did think a lot of it had merit. Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us

[Samantha84]

9 hours ago, notyrmomma said:

It doesn't matter whether Nicole was standing there or not, if he was actively drowning, all she could do was stand there and watch.  She couldn't reach him because she couldn't fit through the door.

 

Mothers have lifted cars off their children ... Some wood would stop her from busting in that bathroom or at least attempt. Point is she didn't even stand their long enough to make sure 

[Armchair Critic]

Last meal would be lasagna (not Stouffer's LOL...from a fave restaurant), garlic bread and a non-diet soda. Then a chocolate eclair for dessert. ;)

I peeked at Nicole's Facebook and she doesn't seem to lack for confidence with her come hither looks with plenty of cleavage showing.

[Granny58]

11 hours ago, Samantha84 said:

It doesn't matter whether Nicole was standing there or not, if he was actively drowning, all she could do was stand there and watch.  She couldn't reach him because she couldn't fit through the door.

fat is squishable.  And she somehow manages to wedge herself in the truck.  If the child was drowning, could she have oozed past the door frame?

[LeeAnn]

I don't know why I can't stop thinking about Nicole.  Maybe it's the cumulative effect of watching all the 600 plus pounders on this show that have children.  And it looks like another one is coming up next Wednesday.  The more I think about them, the angrier I get.  If you're an alcoholic with children, get sober.  If you're a drug addict with children, get clean.   If you are so overweight you can't take care of yourself or your kids, LOSE WEIGHT. PERIOD.  These are the most selfish people.  And if you're an enabler, quit enabling.  And I don't buy the fact that food addicts have to still eat, so it's harder.  BULL SH&t!!!  Yeah, you can still eat delicious, healthy meals, which they will come to love. (NOT LETTUCE AND VINEGAR -  geesh)  And guess what, you can eat even more healthy foods if you get off your a$$ and start to move.  WITHOUT SURGERY.    And I've been fat, been a smoker, and drank too much too many times, and had to overcome them all.  Now, I failed at many attempts, but I kept at it and finally got it right. And before someone says they are trying to make it right by having surgery, by the size of them, there was zero - ZERO effort beforehand. 

Now, if you don't have kids, You may lie in your own waste and continue to have hose baths until your dying day.  I really don't care.

     Yeah, I said it and I feel better.

Now you may clobber me.

[ClareWalks]

33 minutes ago, LeeAnn said:

Now, if you don't have kids, You may lie in your own waste and continue to have hose baths until your dying day.  I really don't care.

I tend to agree with you. Obviously it's not the most compassionate stance, but compassion only goes so far when someone chooses to wallow in one's addictions and adopt an "it's not my fault! Poor me! Everyone made me this way!" attitude. Having children requires a lot of sacrifice of even GOOD habits and activities, and you are solely responsible for bringing up this human life that you chose to create. I think if the act of having kids didn't motivate these people to get their shit together, it's hard to imagine what WILL work long-term. Sadly, I don't think Nicole is heading for a happy ending, but I hope she proves me wrong, for her kids' sakes.

[Hockeymom]

26 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

Having children requires a lot of sacrifice

I almost choked when the therapist told Nicole she had to be a little selfish.

She was a gaping black hole of selfish. It was always "My kids, My kids". But it was what the kids could do for her. "They motivate me. They are the reason I get up. They keep me going." Never once did I hear her say " These kids deserve a better life. I have let them down, and maybe my four old should be out of diapers."

Nicole was young and immature, granted. But in the words of a wise woman, "Once you have a baby, you don't get to be the baby."

[7788BeaconHighway]

I am surprised by the amount of contempt the posters are showing for Nicole and her family. This kid has been through a hell of a lot. First she starts gaining weight as a small child (what's behind that, we haven't even heard); then she's living with parents who probably behaved as dysfunctionally as they do now, plus her mother has issues and is a less-than-competent parent; then Nicole is left with her mother, who becomes a drug addict; then Nicole and her mother are homeless (no family support, no parenting) and I would guess Nicole had to be the parent; then Nicole is living with two drug addicts.

She coped by having her own addiction. At least she recognizes she's an addict. At least she's trying to be a mature and responsible person. If she has poor parenting skills (which may or may not be true - we see what, 80 minutes out of 12 months), at least she seems to want to be a better parent.

Charlie seems like he'll be supportive of Nicole, which is what she needs.

I agree with the social worker who said the whole family could use life skills training. Don't blame these people. In a village, you need a variety of skills and abilities and they would be accommodated. In our "make it on your own" society, they are cast aside. It's not fair to them. We don't know what environments the parents came out of, but I would bet both came from alcoholic and abusive families. They're doing the best they can too.

[Kid]

I'm from a family of alcoholics. And the one thing I learned in many anonymous programs is that they broke you but you have to fix yourself.  I have no sympathy for her whatsoever.

And as many posters have said above, she has children. I suspect that childbearing for her was not intentional; however, now that she has them, their needs have to be first.

 I watch the show all the time and everyone of those people have childhood abuse stories. Most of them were sexually abused. But I do feel sympathy for many of them because they took control of their lives and they struggle to overcome the damage.  Nicole doesn't fall into that category for me. Nothing she said in that entire two hours struck me as genuine or unselfish.

I meant to quote the post above and did something incorrectly. My post is a response to that one. Sorry for the screwup.

Edited March 5, 2017 by Kid
Fix typos

[Hockeymom]

10 minutes ago, 7788BeaconHighway said:

I am surprised by the amount of contempt the posters are showing for Nicole and her family. This kid has been through a hell of a lot.

I can't speak for everyone, but here's my 2 cents.

I feel a certain amount of contempt for Nicole & Co. for several reasons. First, Nicole has a "poor me" mindset. You saw a great example of that when she was complaining to Dr. Now that her family forced her to eat fast food and were giving her absolutely zero support. This was blatantly false. So in light of that, I take descriptions of her childhood with a grain of salt.

Yes, mom was a hot mess with a temper.  What killed me was that Nicole spent the first hour telling everyone how terrible her parents were,  then turned over care of her own children to these same people. She had a nice relationship with her dad, but then blamed him for her weight because he used to make her a snack when they spent time together in the garage.

It must have been terrible to have dad go to prison. I can't imagine being homeless - how frightened they were. These are tragic events. It's ridiculous that her mother couldn't get it together enough to work and keep them out of the shelter.

I am not blaming her for having dirt ball parents, or a crappy childhood. I'm blaming her for not caring about her own children enough to break the cycle and grow up a little. She managed to recover enough to go out and party, become a Juggalette, get pregnant, and work the system. I think she's savvy enough to mother up and potty train that kid!

[KateHearts]

I think what irks me are the voice-overs where the 600-pounder says things like, "with this road trip I'm so stressed, I just have to eat," or "I just can't stop myself from eating all the things that are bad for me." I realize that, along with the opening credit "deep thoughts" type of narration ("sometimes, in order to see your future, you need to let go of the past," etc) these lines are probably heavily scripted. But they just sound like lame excuses.

[7788BeaconHighway]

"I am not blaming her for having dirt ball parents, or a crappy childhood. I'm blaming her for not caring about her own children enough to break the cycle and grow up a little. She managed to recover enough to go out and party, become a Juggalette, get pregnant, and work the system. I think she's savvy enough to mother up and potty train that kid!"

She's only 23. The brain isn't mature until 26. Plus, any normal 23-year-old likes to go out and party. She didn't have a fun as an adolescent, so she's making up for it now. If we want her to succeed, that includes having the life experiences typical for that age. And that includes getting attention (and maybe money) for being a mini-celebrity, if that's what she wants to try. And maybe being successful at it, as unsettling as that might be to some of the posters here. If we want her to succeed, we have to accept her definition of success.

She knows she has to be responsible for the kids, but she may not know what she *should* be doing, since she hasn't had it modeled for her. I hope she gets some education. Lots of changes ahead.

[Barb23]

18 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I can't understand how she can't squeeze through the bathroom door but can sit in the front seat of a car. And why just the bathroom door? Was it a weird non-standard size? Because apparently she was OK with the Houston bathrooms. Of course, everything's bigger in Texas ;)

There are different size doors.  My sister has a smaller than average size door on her powder room.  I use a walker because of my RA & have to scoot in sideways to get in her bathroom.  At home I have no problem going straight in the regular sized door frames.

Regarding the drinking water thing --  I don't remember if it was Nicole or another person that exclaimed & was so proud of herself for finally switching to water after about 4 months in. Good for her for finally switching but this should be one of the first things they are told to do.  

[Lizz]

I kind of feel the same way as I do when I watch Intervention.  I get frustrated with young adults with their whole future ahead of them, many with small children, unemployed, managing a $200+ a day heroin or meth or whatever drug of choice addiction. I've worked for many years and couldn't afford that on top of living expenses.  At what point does personal responsibility take over?  Our society will help, but you have to help yourself too. If someone wants help, there are resources....residential or outpatient rehab, career counseling services, parenting/family social services, GED classes, community college or vocational training......all FREE to those of limited income, at least in my state.  In some cases, they even provide transportation and child care.   In my career, I have seen many who choose to sit on the couch on Facebook all day rather than do anything productive.  There's just no motivation, not even for their kids.  Although I wish her the best, I don't hold out much hope for Nicole's long, or even medium term success.  Except as a Juggalette.

I hope they feature her in a follow-up episode.  And why do I giggle that she has a "fan page?"  

[Hockeymom]

32 minutes ago, 7788BeaconHighway said:

She's only 23. The brain isn't mature until 26. Plus, any normal 23-year-old likes to go out and party.

Then don't have kids at 23. Any normal 23 year old likes to go out and party. Of course they do. I'm not suggesting she be a housebound martyr.

I am suggesting she care as much about the kids as she does her own interests. I don't care if she's a celebrity. That doesn't make me unsettled at all. But mature or not, she has kids and needs to step up.

[Cherrio]

Children cannot wait or be put on hold while Nicole experiences her definition of success.  These children have already been waiting so there has been a lot of damage already.

These kids, if anyone in the family cared even a bit, could of had a chance by being placed for adoption. Instead it is my opinion they are and were seen as more $ from disability, welfare and whatever other programs they get.

The kids cannot wait until Nicole turns 26. What happens in the meantime?

Nicole and her family seem able enough to use Facebook, promote themselves and get on a national television show.   Too bad those smarts weren't used for the children's health and welfare.

[Hockeymom]

I don't mean to sound harsh. I do wish her the best. Since she appears to be the breadwinner, I hope her music career takes off.

I realize Nicole has had terrible role models. Her mother and father were both addicts. I get it. Really. But like Cheerio said, if they can manage to navigate the system for disability, and utilize Social Media for promotion, then they can watch a parenting video.

Lots of 23 year olds are leading productive lives and pursuing careers. Nicole will grow and mature. I'm not the same person I was at 23, hell, even 33 for that matter. But ready or not, she chose to bring two kids into the world. She wasn't raped, or coerced. Sometimes, we just have to put on our big girl pants and do right by our choices.

[ShortyMac]

On 3/2/2017 at 6:40 PM, DC Gal in VA said:

Which got me to wondering about what everyone else's "last meal" would be before going on a diet? It changes all the time for me, but since I've been low carbing it for the last few months, right now I'd like a hot, buttery loaf of garlic bread, a giant, very upscale bowl of cioppino washed down with a bottle of Prosecco and couple of cannolis and chocolate gelato for dessert.

How about the rest of you?

*waves* Low-carber here, as well. 

My mom's stuffed cabbage rolls, a prime cut of steak with a loaded baked potato, and creme brulee and a dense, fudgy brownie for dessert. 

Now, I'm hungry.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, 7788BeaconHighway said:

At least she's trying to be a mature and responsible person. If she has poor parenting skills (which may or may not be true - we see what, 80 minutes out of 12 months), at least she seems to want to be a better parent.

 

I saw no evidence of any of this on the show. And I've watched it three times. 

 

3 hours ago, 7788BeaconHighway said:

Charlie seems like he'll be supportive of Nicole, which is what she needs.

 

Charlie is a stoner dirt bag just like her father. Just because he hoses her down in the backyard like a dog doesn't mean giving her what she needs.

[ClareWalks]

It's probably been mentioned before, but seriously, how did they clean her in the wintertime? The porch-hose method would be dreadful when it's below 50 degrees.

[ethalfrida]

On 3/1/2017 at 6:05 PM, Marilee said:

They look dirty too. What's getting to me is the fact that these little ones are toddling around in the background and riding for hours in a hot car with no a/c, the "adults" are at each other's throats and their grandma is a hateful old witch to them, yet I haven't heard them crying or getting fussy. Most kids would be pitching 50 fits but they're not making a sound. That's scary as hell and a bad, bad, really bad warning sign of severe neglect. They look disconnected from their surroundings and that makes me think Reactive Attachment Disorder. I may be overthinking it but I was diagnosed with RAD at 3. I was adopted along with my brother and sister from Serbia at 16 months old. If they start showing these kids in increasingly worse surroundings emotionally and physically as this family starts to self destruct I'm not going to be able to watch till the end.

Did you or anyone else notice the dark circles around the baby's eyes?

And I am thinking she didn't get the kids anything from the two drive-thrus they stopped at.

[Hockeymom]

6 minutes ago, ethalfrida said:

And I am thinking she didn't get the kids anything from the two drive-thrus they stopped at.

YES!!! Charlie even asked her if they should get nuggets for the kids and she said no. Then, after she gorged on two different meals, she yelled that the kids were getting fussy and waived him back to change diapers. I think she said no, because she wanted him to go get her sub and not be feeding the kids. She certainly wasn't about to cut nuggets, blow on them, or Heaven Forbid, delay her "stress relief" for anyone.

[Motor City]

Cherrio:

Children cannot wait or be put on hold while Nicole experiences her definition of success.  These children have already been waiting so there has been a lot of damage already.

These kids, if anyone in the family cared even a bit, could of had a chance by being placed for adoption. Instead it is my opinion they are and were seen as more $ from disability, welfare and whatever other programs they get.

The kids cannot wait until Nicole turns 26. What happens in the meantime?

Nicole and her family seem able enough to use Facebook, promote themselves and get on a national television show.   Too bad those smarts weren't used for the children's health and welfare.

Well said.

[ethalfrida]

28 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

YES!!! Charlie even asked her if they should get nuggets for the kids and she said no. Then, after she gorged on two different meals, she yelled that the kids were getting fussy and waived him back to change diapers. I think she said no, because she wanted him to go get her sub and not be feeding the kids. She certainly wasn't about to cut nuggets, blow on them, or Heaven Forbid, delay her "stress relief" for anyone.

O.M.G. soemthing was definietly the the matter with all of them. 

[Miss Chevious]

Yes, apparently Nicole thinks she's quite the recording artist. She created this ridiculous "Twizzie" persona as part of this Juggalo craziness she's involved in and maintains a Facebook fan page as well as a personal FB page. And she has quite a high opinion of herself. I find it very telling that there are no negative comments on either one, she must go through and delete/block all the naysayers.

It's truly sad she has time to spend policing her social media and promoting her image (as disgusting as that is) but no time to spend with her children, lavish love on them and raise them properly like they deserve.

i was truly appalled watching this episode. She and her dysfunctional posse of a family are awful.

[mamadrama]

6 hours ago, Hockeymom said:

I almost choked when the therapist told Nicole she had to be a little selfish.

She was a gaping black hole of selfish. It was always "My kids, My kids". But it was what the kids could do for her. "They motivate me. They are the reason I get up. They keep me going." Never once did I hear her say " These kids deserve a better life. I have let them down, and maybe my four old should be out of diapers."

Nicole was young and immature, granted. But in the words of a wise woman, "Once you have a baby, you don't get to be the baby."

You really hit the nail on the head. I actually screamed at the TV when the therapist said that. Nicole had been hardly anything BUT selfish. And I also get queasy when people say things like, "My kids keep me going, my kids are always there for me, my kids are the reason I am alive, etc." I mean, you're the parent. YOU are there to support THEM, not the other way around. And so much pressure to put on a small child. When I was a kid my mother used to tell me that having me was her purpose in life and that she just knew I was going to grow up and be something special. I was scared to death growing up, afraid I wouldn't reach her expectations and that I would let her down (which would, in return, ruin her reason for being born). 

2 hours ago, Hockeymom said:

YES!!! Charlie even asked her if they should get nuggets for the kids and she said no. Then, after she gorged on two different meals, she yelled that the kids were getting fussy and waived him back to change diapers. I think she said no, because she wanted him to go get her sub and not be feeding the kids. She certainly wasn't about to cut nuggets, blow on them, or Heaven Forbid, delay her "stress relief" for anyone.

In her interview she stated that those scenes were from different days, spliced together. I have no idea if that's true, and I hesitate to defend her, but I know that it DOES happen. 

I was on a reality show and they spliced a week's worth of filming into 2 minutes, making it look like we went from Point A to Point B seamlessly, when they were actually four days apart. While I am no fan of Nicole's, when it comes to reality show manipulation, I have firsthand experience as to what they can do. 

[KateHearts]

6 hours ago, 7788BeaconHighway said:

She's only 23. The brain isn't mature until 26. P

 Not necessarily. Especially in someone of reduced intelligence who had a screwed up childhood raised by disassociated parents who abused drugs and neglected their child. 

[Granny58]

8 hours ago, Kid said:

I suspect that childbearing for her was not intentional;

The first one, yeah.  After that, you know how it happens.  

6 hours ago, Hockeymom said:

She's only 23. The brain isn't mature until 26.

I know this is true, I've read the articles.  Weird, though, how my parents generation (born in the 30s) and those before them had children by this age (were MARRIED) and being responsible adults.  I guess people are only as responsible as society expects them to be?

[Granny58]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

"Once you have a baby, you don't get to be the baby."

Oh!  I LOVE THIS.

[OSM Mom]

4 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

It's probably been mentioned before, but seriously, how did they clean her in the wintertime? The porch-hose method would be dreadful when it's below 50 degrees.

Probably baby wipes. Just wiping her down. 

[Muffyn]

I'm assuming a combination of baby wipes and filthy trash can bath.   I don't think hygiene is a top priority for this clan. 

[ethalfrida]

On 3/2/2017 at 6:11 AM, poeticlicensed said:

Obesity and poverty are interrelated. There has been a lot of research done about the nutrition education and food availability in poor neighborhoods and it shows that low income areas tend to have less fresh food availability, which means that people eat fast or processed foods. It's also an education thing. If your parents didn't teach you to cook, then you are likely not to cook and neither are your kids. That's why you see that in many of the families, the whole family is fat, not just the patient. 

I just watched a documentary on obesity in Mumbai. It is now a problem with very rich who are getting even their grade school aged children the operations. Then there is the Fat Doctor series where economics doesn't play a factor. It's western food and Western-style fast food that is seducing everyone.. Fat Doctor can be seen on Youtube..

[Granny58]

9 hours ago, ethalfrida said:

I just watched a documentary on obesity in Mumbai. It is now a problem with very rich who are getting even their grade school aged children the operations. Then there is the Fat Doctor series where economics doesn't play a factor. It's western food and Western-style fast food that is seducing everyone.. Fat Doctor can be seen on Youtube..

Years ago I read the book The Fat Gene or Obesity Gene or something like that.  It went into a lot of detail about how Pacific Islanders are now obese because of western food, instead of their indigenous food.  

[iifymbikiniboss]

Did anyone else think the therapist was redic for telling Nicole to  be selfish and think of yourself?
How is it the therapists never tell them to get it together?   

 

[iifymbikiniboss]

15 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

Yes, apparently Nicole thinks she's quite the recording artist. She created this ridiculous "Twizzie" persona as part of this Juggalo craziness she's involved in and maintains a Facebook fan page as well as a personal FB page. And she has quite a high opinion of herself. I find it very telling that there are no negative comments on either one, she must go through and delete/block all the naysayers.

It's truly sad she has time to spend policing her social media and promoting her image (as disgusting as that is) but no time to spend with her children, lavish love on them and raise them properly like they deserve.

i was truly appalled watching this episode. She and her dysfunctional posse of a family are awful.

please link me.. omg  dead

[Trixie Belden]

I have so many mixed feelings about this girl.  There was something super off about her dynamic with her parents.  She said she was a daddy's girl and honestly, her mom seemed to almost hate her sometimes.  There's no doubt at all that her parents are still active addicts and rely on Nicole and her (oh so sad) bf for financial support.  They most likely took the kids back to Ohio for the WIC, AFCD and food stamp benefits.  Her mom didn't seem to even care about the babies.  The fact that her parents wouldn't consider getting a job in Houston but sat around in the hotel room (not cleaning, not doing laundry, not potty training the kids) and complained constantly made me want to scream.  Seriously, her mom just decided they would be homeless while her dad was in jail.  What kind of parenting lessons do you think Nicole learned from them?

Also, no they didn't "make" her eat fast food, and she could have been more assertive about what they brought in for meals, especially if they were buying food daily.  I'm sure that she wasn't complaining too much whenever they brought the fast comfort food she liked in for them.  She could have worked harder at just walking around the parking lot with the kids.  I guess I just keep going back to her shitty shitty parents that brought her up so chaotically and without boundaries, so without having some intensive social work interventions/therapy she probably doesn't really know HOW to be an adult/parent/accept responsibility.  After all, neither of her parents seem to be able to accept responsibility.  She needs to cut herself completely off from them and work on things with her bf and kids.  That's the only way I can see any long term change for her.

2 hours ago, iifymbikiniboss said:

Did anyone else think the therapist was redic for telling Nicole to  be selfish and think of yourself?
How is it the therapists never tell them to get it together?   

 

I've been in therapy and I can promise you that a competent therapist will call you out on your crap.  It doesn't happen right at first though, a rapport has to be built so that the patient trusts the therapist's opinion and is mentally/emotionally in a place where they can take the commentary in, reflect and act on it.  I think we see mostly the 1st "getting to know you" appts, where the therapist is mainly just trying to get information and make the patient feel like they want to come back.  If you get tough on a person who is invested in being the victim right away, they aren't going to continue.  It's a little bit of a necessary bait and switch.

[Granny58]

6 minutes ago, Trixie Belden said:

I have so many mixed feelings about this girl.  There was something super off about her dynamic with her parents.  She said she was a daddy's girl and honestly, her mom seemed to almost hate her sometimes.  There's no doubt at all that her parents are still active addicts and rely on Nicole and her (oh so sad) bf for financial support.  They most likely took the kids back to Ohio for the WIC, AFCD and food stamp benefits.  Her mom didn't seem to even care about the babies.  The fact that her parents wouldn't consider getting a job in Houston but sat around in the hotel room (not cleaning, not doing laundry, not potty training the kids) and complained constantly made me want to scream.  Seriously, her mom just decided they would be homeless while her dad was in jail.  What kind of parenting lessons do you think Nicole learned from them?

Also, no they didn't "make" her eat fast food, and she could have been more assertive about what they brought in for meals, especially if they were buying food daily.  I'm sure that she wasn't complaining too much whenever they brought the fast comfort food she liked in for them.  She could have worked harder at just walking around the parking lot with the kids.  I guess I just keep going back to her shitty shitty parents that brought her up so chaotically and without boundaries, so without having some intensive social work interventions/therapy she probably doesn't really know HOW to be an adult/parent/accept responsibility.  After all, neither of her parents seem to be able to accept responsibility.  She needs to cut herself completely off from them and work on things with her bf and kids.  That's the only way I can see any long term change for her.

I've been in therapy and I can promise you that a competent therapist will call you out on your crap.  It doesn't happen right at first though, a rapport has to be built so that the patient trusts the therapist's opinion and is mentally/emotionally in a place where they can take the commentary in, reflect and act on it.  I think we see mostly the 1st "getting to know you" appts, where the therapist is mainly just trying to get information and make the patient feel like they want to come back.  If you get tough on a person who is invested in being the victim right away, they aren't going to continue.  It's a little bit of a necessary bait and switch.

I think I may have told you this before - I LOVE TRIXIE BELDEN and I still have all my books.  So nice to see the name!

[ccphilly]

Ok, I'm about to read the thread now because I just watched this episode this weekend.  I was putting it off because the past 2 have been so slow.  This one is was instant classic!!!!!!!!

[Hockeymom]

21 minutes ago, Trixie Belden said:

I've been in therapy and I can promise you that a competent therapist will call you out on your crap.  It doesn't happen right at first though, a rapport has to be built so that the patient trusts the therapist's opinion and is mentally/emotionally in a place where they can take the commentary in, reflect and act on it.  I think we see mostly the 1st "getting to know you" appts, where the therapist is mainly just trying to get information and make the patient feel like they want to come back.  If you get tough on a person who is invested in being the victim right away, they aren't going to continue.  It's a little bit of a necessary bait and switch.

 This makes perfect sense. Hearing it strikes such a jarring cord though!

Growing up, my mom was very much into psychology and devoured every self help book, and theory out there. As a result, we were always being dragged to therapy. If I forgot to empty the dishwasher, I was having a "power play" with her. If I got a bad grade, I was "openly rebelling".  If I didn't clean properly, I was "trying to usurp her position and be the woman of the house".

When I was in junior high, I cleaned out my locker and got rid of some notebooks from the beginning of the year. I just didn't realize there would be a final exam and I would need them for review. Really. That was it. I'm sure the teacher mentioned it, but I had Mono that year and missed quite a bit of class time.

Well, when mom found out, I was back on the couch, because it was clear that I was purposely "challenging her authority" and "trying to ruin her life". In her words, " Your F*** You couldn't be any louder."

My point with this, is that when she took us to a new therapist, if he didn't immediately agree with her, she never went back. It was on to the next! One even said, "Why are you here? You have a wonderful daughter." Of course, then, he was a quack who didn't have the intelligence to grasp the severity of my defiance. I can't tell you how many schools I got yanked out of because the guidance counselor challenged her view. 

So, yes, I get the bait and switch. I wish some of my therapists had tried it!

[88Keys]

Is no one going to point out that Nicole's dad was subletting the GARAGE to those people?  He was letting them live in the GARAGE?  It might have had electricity, but I bet it had no running water or real insulation.  Isn't that illegal, even without the drug factor?

 

On 3/3/2017 at 6:32 PM, NeitherSparky said:

I'm kinda thinking we need a "last meal" thread on here. :)

 

This thread is reminding me of the "King of the Hill" episode where they start talking about their last meal, and then they decide to go ahead and prepare and eat it.  "Why should we have to wait until we're about to die to get any decent food?"  So they make all their favorite foods, sit down to eat...and then realize they are too terrified to eat it because it really might end up being their last meal.  "Um...I'm not hungry.  I had a...big lunch...that didn't tempt fate."  :)

 

On 3/3/2017 at 0:58 PM, tpel said:

Yeah, I was wondering about that "no carbs" thing, too. As a vegetarian, I don't think I could survive on a no-carb diet, since vegetarian protein sources -- like tofu and beans -- have some carbs (the latter more than the former). Of course, there probably aren't that many 600-pound vegetarians  . . .

 

No one can survive a literal "no carb" diet.  Humans are meant to eat some carbs for energy.  The problem is less with carbs (like the ones in fruit) and more with sugars, refined wheat and flour, and starches.  But that's what these people love to eat.  Also, they can't really move much, so they aren't burning the carbs they do take in.

[ethalfrida]

All vegs have carbs. Some more, some less. 

[Hockeymom]

9 minutes ago, 88Keys said:

Is no one going to point out that Nicole's dad was subletting the GARAGE to those people?  He was letting them live in the GARAGE?  It might have had electricity, but I bet it had no running water or real insulation.  Isn't that illegal, even without the drug factor?

I thought that too, but when they showed the garage, it had a car parked inside. Maybe they were subletting it to a backyard mechanic, or workshop or storage. Maybe they were growing a crop of something?

I think that story was just a cover anyway. Their house got raided. That was a real-deal raid. I don't think police come in and trash a house with kids unless they have cause. When the police search your fat rolls, they mean business!!! And the dad went to jail shortly after. Maybe unrelated. Maybe not.

[Elizabeth9]

On 3/3/2017 at 8:40 PM, Awfarmington said:

My dad wasn't here to see me scrub the bathtub today, so I just didn't do it. No point in accomplishing anything if he can't watch me do it. 

My dad died in 2014...guess my days of accomplishing things are in the past?

Holy mother of god.  I never thought they'd top Erica, yet they managed.  A man wearin a shirt that says "EXERCISE?  I thought you said extra fries" while showering his baby momma on the back porch with a garden hose.  Her calling everyone bastards, hurling Subway bags, demanding multiple types of fast food in the first place, the drug bust...TLC, where does it end????  And yet they still managed to put a positive spin on it as it ended.  

I don't even know what to say!  All I could think about was, if they had gotten this kid into a halfway decent foster home during her own parents' drug bust, would we be watching this juggalo circus?  Was this preventable?  How on earth does she have sex?  My god, she's only 23?  That apron must be painful.  And reserve me a seat to hell...if she had fallen in the first hotel room and they'd just all have left her there, I'd have that 90 minutes of my life back.  Oh, and the piercings were not a good idea.

Christ on crutches, what are they holding onto for the season finale???

[auntjess]

2 hours ago, 88Keys said:

He was letting them live in the GARAGE?  It might have had electricity, but I bet it had no running water or real insulation.  Isn't that illegal, even without the drug factor?

I figured it was just a place to sell drugs out of, not to live in.  In fact, it may have been being used for that when the family moved into the house, and the cameras interrupted business.
Hey, I watch true crime shows, and they sell out of abandoned apartments or houses, alleys, and up to suburban house outfitted with a very sophisticated surveillance system.

[hookedontv]

I am a longtime lurker and first time poster. I'm about an hour into this episode-holy hell! These people are all so nasty and I don't think Nicole's weight has anything to do with it. Bad decision upon bad decision, Nicole had no business having one child let alone two. Those poor kids act like they live in a war zone-quiet, scared, unsure. I went ballistic when that child was in the tub by himself, the grandmother was sitting on the couch while Nicole couldn't fit thru the door. Nicole was afraid he would turn on the hot water and I was afraid he would drown. All the screaming and yelling, and Nicole crying like a baby in the hotel. In front of her kids. Geez.... 

Edited March 6, 2017 by hookedontv
Bad grammar

[ClareWalks]

2 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

I am a longtime lurker and first time poster. I'm about an hour into this episode-holy hell! These people are all so nasty and I don't think Nicole's weight has nothing to do with it. Bad decision upon bad decision, Nicole had no business having one child let alone two. Those poor kids act like they live in a war zone-quiet, scared, unsure. I went ballistic when that child was in the tub by himself, the grandmother was sitting on the couch while Nicole couldn't fit thru the door. Nicole was afraid he would turn on the hot water and I was afraid he would drown. All the screaming and yelling, and Nicole crying like a baby in the hotel. In front of her kids. Geez.... 

Welcome! You will fit right in here, we are all horrified by these loons ;) And yeah, WTF with the kid being in the bathtub and grandma like "hey, he's in there, FYI, might wanna check on him." Grandma, YOU put him in there, did you not? So weird.

[aliya]

On 3/3/2017 at 9:46 AM, LeeAnn said:

 And when you're asked to raise your stomach so they can look for drugs and question what the white powder is all over your belly, that should be a major wake-up call to get your act together and do what you can 100% to take care of yourself and your children.

I forgot all about that. 2 thoughts - 1. that had to be all kinds of embarrassing and 2. obviously this is not the first time the police thought a big person was hiding drugs in the folds of their skin. All kinds of eww. 

[Hockeymom]

17 minutes ago, aliya said:

obviously this is not the first time the police thought a big person was hiding drugs in the folds of their skin. All kinds of eww. 

Imagine that conversation. Officer comes home from work - "Hi honey, how was your day?"

Let me tell you...