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7788BeaconHighway

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  1. It's interesting, that startled stare Seana gives when she's confronted with the fact that her addiction is killing her. I've seen that look on someone I know who has been an alcoholic forever. This person gets all tangled up in head space and does not deal well with reality. I can't imagine how they would deal with life without alcohol taking up all their free time. I think that the key to Seana is that she is an addict. Addiction is a part of her identity. She made a decision to be an addict really young. She can't imagine herself as not an addict. That's why she keeps 'losing' the diet plan. Unless she sees the problem, there's no long-term hope. There have been at least a couple of other poundticipants with the same issue of addict identity that they don't want to give up. I can't remember which ones though.
  2. I have to say I find absolutely no redeeming value in Bethany. She says she wants to be there for her daughters, but never talks to them, never eats meals together as a family at the table, and couldn't care less that they are significantly overweight. There is no relationship with her husband. No friends, no hobbies, no dreams. Some daughters of dysfunctional families try to compensate and give their children what they didn't have. Not Bethany. I am amazed that she was licensed by a counseling program, but has no belief in the value of therapy! And no idea that if the current therapist isn't a fit, you can change therapists! Obviously she has never put herself in the shoes of a client. I have to infer that she became a counselor solely in order to scam. Losing weight would mean that she would have to face looking for a job, and revealing her legal past. Unless she tried to work from home, and there's no sign she has that skill. So I can see from her point of view why she quit. I hope Sheldon is a good father when she goes.
  3. Regarding Patricia's show, I was thinking about why the show felt unsatisfying. If I were the therapist, I would have appealed to her greed. I would have said, "Look, you're spending $250 a day, now to be $750 a day, for the privilege of re-selling stuff. Wouldn't it make more sense to stop acquiring stuff for right now and focus on selling the stuff you have? That way you avoid the fines and still make money." Then do CBT with her to practice controlling her urge to go out and acquire. That way, the yards get cleaned up and the garage starts to empty, and she's still spending 24/7 selling stuff. I wonder if a different therapist, who specializes in CBT like Dr. Renardi or Dr. Tolin, would have handled this differently.
  4. Schenee got my vote: manipulative AND delusional. Penny is manipulative but not crazy. I agree that Steven Assanti is a freak show and in a class by himself, he was never a serious poundticipant. I would like to add that as awful human beings, Lee and Michael rank up there as well.
  5. I'm not going to tell people who snark on Dr. Lola that they are wrong; each person has her own comfort zone. I just want to say that I really like Dr. Lola. I feel she is genuine and I think she is insightful. I would love to have her as my therapist. She puts a lot of effort into her appearance. I see a creative, artistic person who wants to look nice for her client meetings. So what? I find her artistic style inspiring. She knows what she's doing therapeutically and I hope they keep her on the show.
  6. Karina's behavior and family relationships remind me of Erica's. Self-centered, enjoying being the center of attention, no insight, bingeing, failed WLS, no view of an independent future, no joy in life except food, family tired of her dependence. Just a less intense version. I feel like Karina is a less intense version of Erica. It looks like Karina lost weight mainly to please Dr. Now. Otherwise she'd be pushing her self to walk and be independent. I hope I'm wrong.
  7. Did anyone notice that in the FB post he says the hospital discharged him because they couldn't handle his weight? Pity play. Fact is, they couldn't handle his attitude. Deliberate misrepresentation as a victim. I for one found this show educational. I got to see a sociopath in real life, in a variety of situations. For those of you who have had that in your real life, my deepest sympathy. I haven't, so it was useful. A model to keep in the back of my mind. (And hopefully only there!) I really hope Justin can heal. He's going to need a long course of therapy. I'm just not sure he can go too far with Steven still anywhere in the picture.
  8. "I am not blaming her for having dirt ball parents, or a crappy childhood. I'm blaming her for not caring about her own children enough to break the cycle and grow up a little. She managed to recover enough to go out and party, become a Juggalette, get pregnant, and work the system. I think she's savvy enough to mother up and potty train that kid!" She's only 23. The brain isn't mature until 26. Plus, any normal 23-year-old likes to go out and party. She didn't have a fun as an adolescent, so she's making up for it now. If we want her to succeed, that includes having the life experiences typical for that age. And that includes getting attention (and maybe money) for being a mini-celebrity, if that's what she wants to try. And maybe being successful at it, as unsettling as that might be to some of the posters here. If we want her to succeed, we have to accept her definition of success. She knows she has to be responsible for the kids, but she may not know what she *should* be doing, since she hasn't had it modeled for her. I hope she gets some education. Lots of changes ahead.
  9. I am surprised by the amount of contempt the posters are showing for Nicole and her family. This kid has been through a hell of a lot. First she starts gaining weight as a small child (what's behind that, we haven't even heard); then she's living with parents who probably behaved as dysfunctionally as they do now, plus her mother has issues and is a less-than-competent parent; then Nicole is left with her mother, who becomes a drug addict; then Nicole and her mother are homeless (no family support, no parenting) and I would guess Nicole had to be the parent; then Nicole is living with two drug addicts. She coped by having her own addiction. At least she recognizes she's an addict. At least she's trying to be a mature and responsible person. If she has poor parenting skills (which may or may not be true - we see what, 80 minutes out of 12 months), at least she seems to want to be a better parent. Charlie seems like he'll be supportive of Nicole, which is what she needs. I agree with the social worker who said the whole family could use life skills training. Don't blame these people. In a village, you need a variety of skills and abilities and they would be accommodated. In our "make it on your own" society, they are cast aside. It's not fair to them. We don't know what environments the parents came out of, but I would bet both came from alcoholic and abusive families. They're doing the best they can too.
  10. I like Nicole. She is strong-minded and lives in reality. She always knew she was using food to cope, she wasn't delusional about that, and once she decided her kids were worth living for, she committed to going to doing whatever was necessary, including going to therapy and "breaking up with" the grocery store. That is maturity, that is progress. Her family isn't her fault. I think she is more functional and sensible than her parents, and has a great chance to be a success, in part due to support from Charlie. I can understand why initially she didn't take responsibility - outside therapy, how else do you draw attention to the failure of your parents? But once she was in therapy, she was able to take responsibility. I also like Charlie. He genuinely cares for Nicole, and is responsible. Hopefully he comes from a more functional family and can weather the ups and downs of a relationship with Nicole as she goes through her changes. He doesn't have to be everything to her. She can have other friends. If Nicole stays in therapy and focuses on herself, she can break out of the family dysfunction and make something of herself. I'm rooting for her.
  11. I can't get this show out of my head, and I think it's because of the severity of Erica's addiction. She said she gained 200 lbs. after her mother died 2 1/2 years ago. That's almost 2 lbs. a week. I imagine that means near-constant eating. That's the equivalent of the guy (or gal) who goes into a bar every night, stays until last call, then collapses insensate outside the bar afterwards. Only to do the same thing again every night for two years. If we saw that drunken behavior, we would assume the person was running away from some incredible pain. Other people featured on the show have said they were addicts. But they had a different attitude. They acknowledged it, recognized it would be there, and they had to fight it. In contrast, it's almost as though Erica identifies with her addiction. I don't get a sense her addiction is "other," some unwanted guest in her life. (The weight yes, not the identity of an addict.) Which goes back to her childhood. Wildly guessing here, she's showing her father she can eat whatever the hell she wants and he can't stop her. If it weren't food it would be another addictive substance. She reminded me of someone I knew a while ago who decided to be an alcoholic because it was glamorous, and was one by the age of 16, and continued to be one until her death. I don't think she ever considered stopping drinking. It was part of her identity. With Erica, that kind of dysfunction goes way way back. Without speculating about her childhood dynamics - which I would hate to read about if I were her - I will say that some of the people on the show have said they are hungry all the time and don't have an appetite regulator. Possibly she had that problem, which set off a cascade of other problems. I have to wonder if in a severe case of addiction like this, not only therapy but AA might be helpful, just to start thinking differently.
  12. First-time poster. I had to register to comment on this show. It seems really obvious to me that the root of Erica's problems is the abuse by her father. She's turned her anger at him against herself. She's stuck in a childlike state where she wants his approval and doesn't want to change anything until she gets it. Meanwhile, she waits and waits... Therapy is absolutely essential for her to understand her own behavior, because she clearly doesn't. She spoke about the gang rape and feeling guilty. She knows that, and I imagine dealing with it would help, but there's a lot more below the surface that's made her behave in such a dysfunctional fashion. What does she do all day?? I wouldn't be surprised if Erica was her father's "designated target", and she has no idea that this is what really happened to her. The other kids must have had a difficult time dealing with that alone. You can see the traces of how they reacted to their parents, in their own behavior. Like other posters have said, I am mystified as to why Dr. Now doesn't recommend therapy (when it is needed) a couple of months in. I get that weight loss + therapy is too much change at once. But in severe cases like Erica's it would break up her resistance.
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