Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[truelovekiss]

Another cost of Boob's overzealous need to control. I think Jill is the same way. I think she'd have a whole LOT of issues if Derick ever actually becomes head of his own family and decides to move them out-of-state - or even further. Increasingly, this doesn't seem likely since Derick is becoming more Duggar every day.

I know a lot of people had more faith that DerickDillard would get Jill out of fundiedom in the beginning, but we have to remember that he was hand selected by Boob for the precious Jilly Muffin. I think Boob sets out to find the girls headships that are malleable to his will, so that he can remain the ultimate headship. All because Michelle had boyfriends in high school...

[trimthatfat]

His office might offer flex time options, depending on how his position is categorized. It might be that if he needs to work late on a certain project (not unheard of this time of year) he's allowed to accumulate those hours for an extra afternoon or day off within that pay period.

This or he might be allowed to work from home/outside of the office.

 

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and it's very common for the MIL, SIL, cousin and sister of the mother-to-be to throw a shower. But then again multiple showers are not uncommon out West. I guess it's all relative to how and where we've been raised. That said, I'm not big on baby showers. I usually decline (unless it's someone I'm very close to) and send an obligatory gift.

It's common where I grew up, too. I honestly had never heard that this was frowned upon until people mentioned it on this website. Interesting.

Hey, they sent tgem.

Do you know how many weddings & showers my 29yr old daughter has been to and received a thank you? Only one out if at least 3 weddings and 2 baby showers. She complained to me abt her friends.

I hate to say I give anyone credit for showing manners, but there ya go.

 I attended a lot of weddings for twenty-somethings this year and pretty much every couple sent a 'thank you' within six months. It was shocking that I got them so quickly! Even though most people I know have very good manners, I feel like 'thank you' notes are becoming a thing of the past!

Edited March 13, 2015 by trimthatfat

[Darknight]

First of all, I'm right there with you about the royal baby and I'm more than a little excited about the new one!

I'm sure Boob is already licking his chops thinking about how much he's going to make off those Baby Dilly pictures. I don't think that he'll want to lose out on a cent by letting anyone see that baby before People Magazine gives him a check.

Who the hell wants to see baby dilly? Except the Duggar thumpers. They're not royalty or heck even Kim K

[JoanArc]

 

This or he might be allowed to work from home/outside of the office.

 

Jill would just sit in his lap at all times, blocking his view of the computer screen. Cling-y.

 

 

I know a lot of people had more faith that DerickDillard would get Jill out of fundiedom in the beginning, but we have to remember that he was hand selected by Boob for the precious Jilly Muffin.

 

Very true. People never seen to bring up that, as far as we know, Jill is his first relationship with a women, so it no big surprise that he's somewhat clingy too. I think he'll be the first to snap out of it, but this weirdness will last a while longer.

 

Their whole emotional lives would be so much better if they'd both had a two week bf/gf relationship in 7th grade, with other people (gasp). Sad

Edited March 13, 2015 by JoanArc

[floridamom]

My opinion is that the Duggars "shut up" about blanket training because they know it's really wrong of them to have done that to their children. At least, I hope they realize that.

[GEML]

I don't know that Jill would blanket train. She seens pretty comfortable around young children and disciplining them without such measures. Jessa, not so much. Ben, on the other hand, will also have some say, coming from a decently large family with a similar culture, whereas I think Derick will defer to Jill in childcare matters.

And Josh and Anna have been filmed vacationing and visiting her family plenty.

[roamyn]

I hope we don't get the Msn news story (or any news story) that Jill's in labor.

But honestly if we do, I blame the media. JB may alert the news, but he can't make them report it.

I wouldn't blame Jill or Derrick, because I can't see either saying "stop counting contractions, we have to alert CBS!"

Edited March 14, 2015 by roamyn

[flyingdi]

Who the hell wants to see baby dilly? Except the Duggar thumpers. They're not royalty or heck even Kim K

Oh I like to snark on the Duggars as much as anyone but I would rather see a thousand things about them than even one about Kim or any of the Kardashian.

[floridamom]

Jill states that the main difference between dating and courting is that in courting, you can set your own boundaries and not cross them...??? Well, you can do the exact same thing with dating..it's called personal standards, Jill...I'd like to know what world she lives in? I think it's the one her father tells her she lives in...fantasyland. These girls/ who are NOT women, need a real life lesson or two.

[roamyn]

Jill states that the main difference between dating and courting is that in courting, you can set your own boundaries and not cross them...??? Well, you can do the exact same thing with dating..it's called personal standards, Jill...I'd like to know what world she lives in? I think it's the one her father tells her she lives in...fantasyland. These girls/ who are NOT women, need a real life lesson or two.

You're absolutely right.

But , these girls don't know that.

I'll bet they grew up w/stories of how the "non-believers" are heathens along the lines of Sodom & Gemorrah. And that we are not taught self-control.

[Barb23]

Jill states that the main difference between dating and courting is that in courting, you can set your own boundaries and not cross them...??? Well, you can do the exact same thing with dating..it's called personal standards, Jill...I'd like to know what world she lives in? I think it's the one her father tells her she lives in...fantasyland. These girls/ who are NOT women, need a real life lesson or two.

What gets me is the girls have to see couples together when they are out. Don't they realize you can be alone with a guy enjoying a cup of coffee, a meal or a walk without getting it on? They make themselves more of a spectacle with their courting hand sex.

[Darknight]

Oh I like to snark on the Duggars as much as anyone but I would rather see a thousand things about them than even one about Kim or any of the Kardashian.

I would d rather see none if them. They're all annoying.

[phoenix62]

Jill states that the main difference between dating and courting is that in courting, you can set your own boundaries and not cross them...??? Well, you can do the exact same thing with dating..it's called personal standards, Jill...I'd like to know what world she lives in? I think it's the one her father tells her she lives in...fantasyland. These girls/ who are NOT women, need a real life lesson or two.

The thing I think is sad is...ok, they have to follow courtship rules while dating and engagement....like years ago, when women had no real personal identity, but were under the 'care' ( can't think of a better word for it...) of thier father, and the reputation of the family had to be protected, then when the couple marries and the woman is under the 'headship' of her husband, she has to submit to him whenever...where are the male's boundaries and standards? I suppose it's ok if he has none? What if she doesn't have a sex drive that is on par with her husband's? I suppose she's got to suck it up?

That really bothers me. It's like....forget all the things women fought so damn hard for in terms of our identity and rights.

My heart breaks for the kids...this is all they know.

The parents...they know different. At least do what the Amish do, give them some kind of a choice when they are teens, you know?

I would gather this is why some religions will 'baptize' or 'confirm' people when they reach the age of reason. At least they have that ability (supposedly, chances are the average teen is going to follow the same religion as the family and not go against the grain) to opt out.

[Rhondinella]

So I assume that the first person to get a whiff of the birth announcement will let us know here immediately, right?  I really don't want to make a Google alert for these people.

[Barb23]

For those of you that live in the area, maybe JD could fly his plane over with one of those banners flowing behind like you see at the beach giving us Jilly updates.

[WalrusGirl]

I hadn't realized how close Jill is to her EDD! (Not that I care enough to sound excited, I'd have just been surprised, until I came here, to see a headline that she'd given birth.)

That is why I think ONE shower would have sufficed. Absolutely everyone you know, whether it be close or casual, doesn't have to host or give you a baby gift...JMHO.

See, I've been to bridal and baby showers with 50-70 guests (they were church showers, either for couples that had both grown up there or combined "his, hers, now our" showers combining guests from their three total/combined longtime church families). And OMG. I find showers to be taxing under the best of circumstances, but gift opening for 2-3 hours+? No thank you. (I mean, I sit through it, but then I bolt and need a drink and some chocolate.) I can't imagine adding all of the parents-to-be's extended family and friend circles to a church shower that's already at 60 guests all with presents to be opened while I sit and watch.

So that's my opinion on one "everyone you know" shower. :-P It's just as gift grabby (total number of guests) and so much more taxing for the host and guests.

It's also a huge etiquette breach (in my world) to attend without bringing at least a token gift, so inviting "everyone you know" (to one massive shower or one of several smaller showers) is much more gift-grabby than just not being able to narrow it down further than church/work/geographic circles.

I think separate work showers (especially at the office during the workday) are really common, especially at the woman's workplace. (My best friend adamantly wanted zero wedding showers - yay for me! - but couldn't entirely shut down the one at work. She got it as bare-boned as possible with a group scrapbook of messages and advice vs multiple gifts.) There's just always someone who loves throwing these things, and you can't shut them all down gracefully without causing offense or pitching a fit - you can make various family members who want to host team up, but not your Sunday School class and your boss, you know?

Anyway. I can't knock them for multiple baby showers (for a first baby), especially since two were thrown by church/work. It's inviting the same people to multiple showers that I find to be absurd and in very poor form. (When it isn't someone super-close who legitimately falls into multiple "categories" and is told clearly that the invite is for the party/people, no double-gift duty.)

Now, gender reveal parties I can't handle, but thankfully my age cohort is just old enough to have missed picking up that new norm. So I'm just going to be pleased that Jill and Derick seem to have avoided going that route!

Etiquette for sending a wedding gift thank you is 3 months from the date the gift was given.

2 weeks for all other occasions.

They had, what, a thousand guests? So I'm fine with extending their deadline a bit. :-P Especially if they were actually personalized and handwritten! (Plus, she probably started feeling sick and miserable around the time she'd have settled in for the thank yous, and since she announced so early everyone waiting for their thank you knew her situation.)

At least she got them out before the baby showers started. ;-)

[truelovekiss]

For those of you that live in the area, maybe JD could fly his plane over with one of those banners flowing behind like you see at the beach giving us Jilly updates.

Excellent idea. So that way, all of Arkansas can know exactly how dilated Jilly Muffin is. Do we know if they're going to televise this birth? Yeah, stupid question....

[DangerousMinds]

From many things I've read, women are to submit to the sexual desires of their husbands. Men apparently have strong biological "needs" that women do not.

[Sew Sumi]

Say nothing about the way Jilly Muffin seductively licked DerickDullard's fingers during the cake ceremony. That was pretty racy for anyone, let alone a virginal Duggar girl! 

[Cherrio]

Say nothing about the way Jilly Muffin seductively licked DerickDullard's fingers during the cake ceremony. That was pretty racy for anyone, let alone a virginal Duggar girl! 

They probably play Easy Bake Oven in the bedroom.   Or Tater Totsey Hotsey.

[Darknight]

From many things I've read, women are to submit to the sexual desires of their husbands. Men apparently have strong biological "needs" that women do not.

Gosh thank goodness my husband can control himself. Because men can control themselves and can wait.

[Barb23]

Not so much in Duggarland.

[Chicklet]

<Crossing my fingers that they do name the kid Bob Cat Dillard. Is this so wrong?>

[CarolMK]

Does anyone think that we'll see a special episode very soon after Jill has the baby, or will it be months later? I know we did with Michelle at least once..with Jordyn, I think they filmed her birth and aired the episode 4 or 5 days later. I honestly can't remember how soon the show aired the birth of Anna's kids though. 

[Barb23]

I think Michael's birth special episode was shown shortly after his birth. I think it was aired on Father's Day. Since they were both born in June, it could have been Marcus as well.

[EarlGreyTea]

<Crossing my fingers that they do name the kid Bob Cat Dillard. Is this so wrong?>

 

I really, really want Richard James. Simply because they'll have no idea why Rick James would be a hilarious nickname. And then maybe the kid'll Google his own name one day and one of Rick James' music videos will pop up. *evil grin*

[Chicklet]

 

And then maybe the kid'll Google his own name one day and one of Rick James' music videos will pop up. *evil grin*

But you know that they would call the kid "Ricky Jimmy" and no Duggar Dillard spawn male will be allowed access to Google evil because women are temptresses or some such nonsense.

[Spencer Hastings]

I really, really want Richard James. Simply because they'll have no idea why Rick James would be a hilarious nickname. And then maybe the kid'll Google his own name one day and one of Rick James' music videos will pop up. *evil grin*

I'm willing to bet that Derick would understand the hilarity of the nickname since he wasn't isolated growing up. He probably wouldn't be bothered too much though.

[Betweenyouandme]

So I assume that the first person to get a whiff of the birth announcement will let us know here immediately, right? I really don't want to make a Google alert for these people.

Does a wallaby wash its wazoo? Haha, people better post the announcement. That's the only way I'll know..and I want to know!

[allonsyalice]

I just watched the episode and I was surpised to see that it looked like Jill and Derick had actual plates and silverware. Why was it so shocking?

[Barb23]

I just watched the episode and I was surpised to see that it looked like Jill and Derick had actual plates and silverware. Why was it so shocking?

I noticed too. I'm giving a shout out to Cathy for that because I'm sure Derick was raised using silverware & real plates. They had to be novelty items for Jill & Derick had to explain what they are. "No, my sweetness, all plates & cutlery don't come in 100 count packages from Wal-Mart." I remember he even brought silverware on the picnic for Jill's birthday.

[msblossom]

I also found it interesting that Jill mentioned that due to morning sickness that she hadn't really done any cooking for 12 weeks. I get that when you're nauseated that certain foods and smells will certainly make you even more physically sick, however, was she unable to make baked chicken? Prepare a roast? Bake potatoes? Prepare food in the crock pot? Roast vegetables? Jill could certainly prepare meat and several cooked dishes on the days she felt better and freeze them for up to a month. She doesn't have a lot to do between the 3 round trips she makes to Walmart daily. Surely, she could figure out how to prepare hot meals that wouldn't be too taxing on her during the first trimester of her pregnancy.

[Readalot]

I also found it interesting that Jill mentioned that due to morning sickness that she hadn't really done any cooking for 12 weeks. I get that when you're nauseated that certain foods and smells will certainly make you even more physically sick, however, was she unable to make baked chicken? Prepare a roast? Bake potatoes? Prepare food in the crock pot? Roast vegetables? Jill could certainly prepare meat and several cooked dishes on the days she felt better and freeze them for up to a month. She doesn't have a lot to do between the 3 round trips she makes to Walmart daily. Surely, she could figure out how to prepare hot meals that wouldn't be too taxing on her during the first trimester of her pregnancy.

two of my pregnancies I had severe nausea and I vomited a few times a day for 56 days straight. I did not cook. I didn't do anything. If I moved I got sick. I could smell individual ingredients of everything on this planet. My lip gloss. I could smell the dirt on potatoes and the wax on apples. Even sweet smells make me sick. I knew protein was vital the first Trimester so I forced myself to eat roasted chicken and prayed that it stayed down at least a bit so nutrients would be absorbed. Anyway I told get what Jill experienced and give her a pass. I hope Derrick did too.

[GEML]

I think Jill was a lot sicker than she let on. She and Derick were completely absent from Jessa's engagement episode, and there was one TLC video of her right after the morning sickness where she looked positively haggard from weight loss and exhaustion. I don't think she was cooking, driving, or having lunches during that particular time.

[Jenniferbug]

I have to give Jill a pass on that too. I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant, and it's only in the last week or two that I've stopped puking daily and feeling nauseated all day long. Now my nausea is limited to the evenings and I'm only sick once or twice a week. "Morning" sickness can be absolutely debilitating.

I could see Jill not wanting to admit how extremely sick she was, because I could imagine her being somewhat ashamed of it- there is so much emphasis on pregnancy being a blessing and a gift from God that for her to focus on the negatives of it could come across as less than "keeping sweet" and being 100 percent grateful. She may feel that her body is meant to be pregnant so to admit that pregnancy isn't a breeze for her is to admit that she's failing in some way. Pure speculation on my part :-)

[Readalot]

I have to give Jill a pass on that too. I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant, and it's only in the last week or two that I've stopped puking daily and feeling nauseated all day long. Now my nausea is limited to the evenings and I'm only sick once or twice a week. "Morning" sickness can be absolutely debilitating.

I could see Jill not wanting to admit how extremely sick she was, because I could imagine her being somewhat ashamed of it- there is so much emphasis on pregnancy being a blessing and a gift from God that for her to focus on the negatives of it could come across as less than "keeping sweet" and being 100 percent grateful. She may feel that her body is meant to be pregnant so to admit that pregnancy isn't a breeze for her is to admit that she's failing in some way. Pure speculation on my part :-)

this! I had miscarried twins two years before my second pregnancy (after trying for seven years) People were like "why aren't you happy to be pregnant. You have been waiting years for a viable pregnancy!" Being happy and grateful for a pregnancy had nothing to do with hating or experiencing horrible side effects of pregnancy!

[Jenniferbug]

Agreed, Readalot! I'm sorry for the loss of your twins. I love my girls, but I'm pretty miserable throughout my pregnancies- which doesn't mean I'm not grateful for the resulting children.

[Sew Sumi]

Actually, they are PROUD of their morning sickness. They believe that means a healthy pregnancy. Jill, Anna, and Mechelle have ALL mentioned this. So no, not embarrassed at all. I bit there's also a bit of the martyr complex built in there as well. They don't realize that some women have absolutely NO sickness and have normal pregnancies and healthy babies. 

 

Jill had plenty of pictures of her driving to and from work/lunches during her first trimester (trust me, it got tiresome). I don't doubt she was sick, just not as badly as she wants you to think. 

 

eta: The more likely reason Jill wasn't at Jessa's engagement was due to the travel during the work week. The engagement happened on a Wednesday or Thursday, so Derick would have had to work; we know that Jill is a Stage 11 clinger. No way she would have even gone alone to Eureka Springs at that point for a day trip. 

Edited March 15, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[truthtalk2014]

Too bad Derrick didn't have a hat that said "Rookie in the Sack" back when they were on their honeymoon.

Awesome idea!  And arrows- saying "This goes here and so and so!"  lmao

I just watched the episode and I was surpised to see that it looked like Jill and Derick had actual plates and silverware. Why was it so shocking?

Yea, sad that Josh and Anna still have not been able to afford such a luxury.  ;)

Remember Janarella is only one person. She can only work on so many thank you's at a time with her other duties. She's had two weddings & now Dilly's gifts to do thank yous for. Just be patient & give her some time.

And remember that the poor girl probably has carpal tunnel by now.

[Wellfleet]

I also found it interesting that Jill mentioned that due to morning sickness that she hadn't really done any cooking for 12 weeks. I get that when you're nauseated that certain foods and smells will certainly make you even more physically sick, however, was she unable to make baked chicken? Prepare a roast? Bake potatoes? Prepare food in the crock pot? Roast vegetables? Jill could certainly prepare meat and several cooked dishes on the days she felt better and freeze them for up to a month. She doesn't have a lot to do between the 3 round trips she makes to Walmart daily. Surely, she could figure out how to prepare hot meals that wouldn't be too taxing on her during the first trimester of her pregnancy.

 

You would think, wouldn't you? But Jill's role model has been MEchelle - whose whole schtick is letting someone else cope when there's something she doesn't want to do.  MEchelle doesn't step up for anything unless SHE really wants to.

[GEML]

I was also aware that my morning sickness meant a healthy baby, and when I didn't have morning sickness with my second pregnancy and it led to a miscarriage, I was more than aware of it.  But that doesn't mean I didn't suffer terribly with the morning sickness itself.  It's a lot easier to be proud of something in retrospect than it is when you are lying on the floor with it.  I honestly do think that Jill had a pretty nasty case of it -- not the full blown need to hospitalized case, but a pretty difficult case.  And I don't see why it's that hard to be sympathetic about it.

[truelovekiss]

Jill's role model has been MEchelle - whose whole schtick is letting someone else cope when there's something she doesn't want to do. MEchelle doesn't step up for anything unless SHE really wants to.

Very true, which makes me think Jill is going to be quick about breeding an army of sister moms, because the Lost Girls are going to be spread pretty thin. While she does seem more natural with the kids than Michelle ever has, I can see her getting caught up in the glory of new babies and being the matriarch of a super sized family. I wouldn't be surprised if Ricky James was a big brother by his first birthday.

[Ljohnson1987]

Is the press release for Jill's first contraction already written as a draft, ready to go to People and Us Weekly?

[Sew Sumi]

GEML, you missed my point. Not everyone who gives birth to a healthy baby has a pregnancy riddled with morning sickness. What I AM saying is that the fundies believe that sickness is a rite of passage of pregnancy to deliver a healthy baby. They don't know (or ignore) that the opposite can also be true. 

[Mrsjumbo]

I felt great during my pregnancies- no morning sickness, & I had twins! So I really feel for all of you that have had bad morning sickness.

Eureks Springs is only 1 1/2 hrs drive. Jill could have dropped off Derick at work & had him arrange to get his own lunch (gasp!) & maybe get a ride home, if Jessa's engagement was late. But I get it if Jill had bad morning sickness. If it is just because she can't bear to have Derick eat lunch or get home without her, that's ridiculous.

[Ljohnson1987]

According to J'Chelle, morning sickness is magical, because it means that good things are happening. Whatever.

[GEML]

GEML, you missed my point. Not everyone who gives birth to a healthy baby has a pregnancy riddled with morning sickness. What I AM saying is that the fundies believe that sickness is a rite of passage of pregnancy to deliver a healthy baby. They don't know (or ignore) that the opposite can also be true. 

Oh, my mistake.  This is why I posted earlier that no one would go and help Jill while she had it -- Michelle certainly doesn't have a "servant's heart" for anyone but herself, and for morning sickness, she really will think it's just something Jill will need to deal with.  And sending over one of the people who makes her life easier?  Nah, not going to happen.  And while one of her sisters might be kind, I think they really are busy enough with bodily fluids to find the idea of even helping a sister through this to be a little more than they are willing to take on.  Plus, as you say, in their world, this is supposed to be a "good" thing.  Which is why I thought that during this, Jill was really very much alone except for Derick, which is why I thought that Derick and Cathy were giving her a pass on a lot of things, including visiting Cathy in Nebraska, etc.  They were realizing, perhaps for the first time, that "treating pregnant women like a queen" only applied to Michelle.

[Sew Sumi]

"Good things may be happening," but despite that (what she thinks the sickness means), she still miscarried Jubilee. All it really means is that you inherited the likelihood to get sick. I also had some sickness and a lot of nausea with two pregnancies that self-terminated at 12 weeks. Everyone is different. 

Edited March 15, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Barb23]

I don't want to come across as being mean, but what kind of help did Queen Jilly need when she was sick? It's not like she had other children to take care of. Besides possibly cooking a meal for Derick, which he is most capable of doing himself, what was "the help" supposed to do? Sit there & wait to clean out her throw up bucket? Stand by her side with saltines & ginger ale ready to go? If Derick needed clean clothes, was he not able to take care of this when he got home from work? (Like most working couples do.)

Luckily I didn't have morning sickness with my pregnancy but a few years back, I had months of episodes of 3-4 days of constant nausea & vomiting so I know how she felt. I most certainly didn't expect or want a family member or friend to come over but hubby did leave my bedside table well stocked with ice, water, Gatorade, crackers, etc. and I survived, all by myself!!

Edited March 16, 2015 by Barb23

[GEML]

Just having company is nice.

Morning sickness isn't like stomach flu, or ulcers or other types of stomach issues. It's weird, because you aren't sick exactly. Just unable to move sometimes. I certainly didn't want my husband to see me when I had it (and was actually glad he was away) but I honestly appreciated my sister coming and helping me out by getting me food when u could eat it (sometimes you get a sudden window) or talking to me to help keep me distracted, etc.

Edited March 16, 2015 by GEML