Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[TobyBelle]

I had recorded old episodes and caught up on some this afternoon. I watched Kittens and Konstruction that showed them restoring the Stonybrook House. I got a bit fearful for Jill and Derick hearing how as they were working on the house, the doors were stolen so they put up an alarm. I hope they're safe in the house now that it's occupied. I'm just a paranoid city girl.

Despite all the criticism that the Duggars put their kids to work and don't encourage the kids to get a college education or real job, I think it is admirable that JB teaches them skills that they could use as fall back in case. Sure, I would love to have some of that business savvy or shrewdness he has to make extra money or self-employed. It has been mentioned JD has a house and this episode told how he got it which was he helped a bank clear out wood on a property it owned so it paid him with the house. Sweet! I don't get the impression they are slackers and that I cannot criticize them for. Getting back on topic, what Derick can learn from JB could be valuable since we know company jobs aren't guaranteed for life. And then there is retirement to think about.

[GEML]

I actually think Jim Bob has pretty good business sense. Which is why I think there is no way he is going to tell Derrick to walk away from a good paying job and have the responsibility of finding ways to support another young family when Derrick is well positioned to do so.

[TobyBelle]

I agree with you, GEML. I know the board is typically for snarking, but I want to be fair to the Duggars where deserved.

[GEML]

Even being fair, I find there is still PLENTY to snark on!

[Rhondinella]

ETA, sorry, I was writing while the mod was posting.

 

 

You are forgiven, my child.  Go and sin no more.  And feel free to send your mod gifts, preferably ones involving chocolate and peanut butter. :-)

[PityFree]

The reason that Jill is Jim Boob's favorite child is that if you put him in a long wig, they'd look like twins. 

[Barb23]

The reason that Jill is Jim Boob's favorite child is that if you put him in a long wig, they'd look like twins.

Isn't that the truth but oh what a visual. Brain bleach please!

[Ljohnson1987]

I saw a video with Dill and they said that they're deciding whether or not Dill Pickle's birth will be shown on TV. Like they have a choice. This is the first Duggar daughter to give birth. Of course J'Chelle and Boob will milk it for all it's worth. 

[Darknight]

I saw a video with Dill and they said that they're deciding whether or not Dill Pickle's birth will be shown on TV. Like they have a choice. This is the first Duggar daughter to give birth. Of course J'Chelle and Boob will milk it for all it's worth.

but they can choose not to. Unless JB tells them that God wants them to do this or else they're going to hell

[GEML]

Or if they want the check or not.

[zenme]

Yeah, maybe Jill would want to have Baby Dilly on toilet too.  Then she can go cash her check and get her a little Coach purse like Mama and Anna.

[GEML]

You'd think after all of the PEOPLE articles she could at least have the diaper bag of her choice!

[Barb23]

I saw a video with Dill and they said that they're deciding whether or not Dill Pickle's birth will be shown on TV. Like they have a choice. This is the first Duggar daughter to give birth. Of course J'Chelle and Boob will milk it for all it's worth.

Wasn't Boob the one who said Jill may give birth in the big tub in their master bath? I think it was on the episode where they had to clean up the Stoneybrook Castle for King Derick & Queen Jilly. I think he said it to poor Janarella.

[cmr2014]

Jill has seen a lot of births, and she may be reluctant to give birth on TV. Obviously, they want the money, and -- of course -- it appears to be part of their "ministry" to give birth on TV for some unimaginable reason. She's got a few months to make up her mind.

[DangerousMinds]

Ministry for what?

[GEML]

Actually, Jana was the one who talked about the tub. And I don't believe JB was even in the room.

Edited November 7, 2014 by GEML

[Barb23]

Actually, Jana was the one who talked about the tub. And I don't believe JB was even in the room.

Thanks for the correction. My mind just puts JB in those types of scenes. (Saying things that aren't appropriate)

[WTFFF]

I just assumed Jill would give birth on television to "encourage" others to have lay midwife-assisted home births.  I still assume she's going to want to give birth to little Richard/Rick/Erick/whatever version of Derick's dad's name they use on camera.  Derick might be less enthused though.

 

Erick Dillard would actually be a cute name, and would honor his grandpa and his dad. 

[floridamom]

I would think that after subjecting Anna to three births being televised that Jill wouldn't even have a question about hers being filmed and aired on NATIONAL TV. Is she better than Anna, or more deserving of privacy during that time? The Duggars showed Anna no respect or slack on that one, why should Jill get a choice? Does her daddy not want her knees to be shown pushing out a blessing from her "secret garden"? I think that would be in bad taste for them to give Jill any privacy about that one. What is Anna, yesterday's dishrag?

[Zahdii]

I would think that after subjecting Anna to three births being televised that Jill wouldn't even have a question about hers being filmed and aired on NATIONAL TV. Is she better than Anna, or more deserving of privacy during that time? The Duggars showed Anna no respect or slack on that one, why should Jill get a choice? Does her daddy not want her knees to be shown pushing out a blessing from her "secret garden"? I think that would be in bad taste for them to give Jill any privacy about that one. What is Anna, yesterday's dishrag?

 

You are right, but Anna married Josh, who drank the Kool-Aid all his life.  Now that they've lived away from his family (somewhat) and have been exposed to the more sophisticated environment in Washington DC, I wonder if they'd televise the birth of the next baby.  Maybe Anna has been watching the calendar and checking her morning temperature so she can 'forget' to tell Josh when they should exchange sweet fellowship and get the next arrow in the quiver.  Maybe he's a party to the NBC method.  They're living a different life now, and raising a huge family might not be their priority anymore.  I bet they'd never say it out loud at this point, but maybe they've realized how they've been used to further the aims of their elders.  I could be wrong, but I hope I'm right.

 

As for Jill, maybe she'll be on board with delivering on camera, but Derrick might object. 

 

Some day someone has to point out the hypocrisy of Michelle never giving birth on camera, but her daughter in law was expected to.  (lol, years ago one of my distant relatives agreed to let her parents, in-laws, siblings, and close friends be present while her husband filmed her giving birth.  She was influenced by people telling her that when the time came she wouldn't care who was there, her only thought would be to get the baby out!.  But as her labor progressed, she asked more and more people to leave until only her husband remained.  As he whipped out the camcorder again and positioned himself next to the doctor to get the best footage she told him that either the camcorder left or both he and the camcorder left.  He wisely handed the camcorder out the door and moved back up to stand with her and hold her hand, although he kept darting down towards the other end to check on the progress.  On their next pregnancy, they didn't tell anyone she was in labor and said that it was a much better experience when it was just the family.  Only the neighbor that looked after their first child knew what was happening and she didn't tell.)

[gunderda]

They have grown up with the cameras showing everything of their lives.  She might not think anything different than to have it televised. 

[3girlsforus]

I missed the episodes where Anna had her babies - did she have any of them after she moved to Maryland?

[Literata]

 

On another note, she's starting to wear the same type of shirts as Ma Duggar.

My guess is she's wearing MEchelle's maternity clothes, which ... yuck. I'm about MEchelle's age and had only two kids, and by the time I was done wearing my maternity clothes, I would have been embarrassed to pass them on to anybody. Not to mention the fact that maternity fashion has changed so much in the last 20 years; we wore smock-type tents in those days, and everything now is cute and colorful and form-fitting. You'd think she'd want some new things. 

[mimionthebeach]

Maybe she's deliberating over having it filmed or selling the exclusive to People?

[Temperance]

Jim Bob isn't going to tell Derrick to quit his job. He had enough trouble getting Josh on financially solid ground. He has 9 other sons to also help to a financially sound future. John David seems well on his way, but then Ben, his other son-in-law, also needs help getting to financially sound place.  Given they let Jessa marry Ben, they may have more son-in-laws to have to help financially. This family has enough children becoming adults, who need all the help they can get becoming financially sound to raise a family. The last thing they need is another couple of people who are reliant on them and Jill and Derrick are having babies (even more mouths to feed.)

Edited November 7, 2014 by Temperance

[GEML]

If the TLC money has to be split with the Duggar family, but the PEOPLE money goes only to Jill and Derick, we may not see a live birth, but simply something worked into a regular episode. That could be a real financial consideration for a young couple. I have two accountants in my family, and Derick didn't graduate from college with no debt without being pretty frugal himself. Jim Bob might have met his match!

[Jellybeans]

We are assuming Ben needs help. We do not know that yet.

We really know very little about what Derrick and Ben want for themselves.

I have a feelings surprises are in store for those two newly married women, formerly known as the Duggar girls. And they won't necessarily be similar.

[GEML]

It's increasingly clear that some surprises have been in store for Jim Bob and Michelle!

This is the thing - children are real people. They aren't extensions of yourself. The Duggars are slowly learning that, and to be honest, thus far their children have actually been, from a "worldly" perspective, very considerate of their feelings and very kind in the choices they've made to tell them that.

[NausetGirl]

If the TLC money has to be split with the Duggar family, but the PEOPLE money goes only to Jill and Derick, we may not see a live birth, but simply something worked into a regular episode. That could be a real financial consideration for a young couple. I have two accountants in my family, and Derick didn't graduate from college with no debt without being pretty frugal himself. Jim Bob might have met his match!

 

I'm not saying Derick is not frugal, but I think graduating from college without debt may be much more due to a healthy government or fraternal-organization helping hand - and maybe both - due to his father's death. His dad may have had a generous life insurance policy as well that helped. Even 35 years ago, my college roommate received a Social Security check once a month - a 3-digit figure at the time - during the full 4 years we were in college due to her dad's death when she was 17. It stopped only when she turned 21, 5 weeks before we graduated.

[GEML]

My husband lost his father when he was 12, and his father was a fire fighter - probably similar benefits to Derick's police officer father. But the social security and fraternity benefits were not sufficient to pay for a full ride at an in-state University. (He was fortunate to win a full scholarship.). Derick attended an out of state university, this the costs would have been even higher.

I'm sure those things helped, but probably weren't enough. And payments, even for those in college, now end at 18.

Edited November 7, 2014 by GEML

[NausetGirl]

My husband lost his father when he was 12, and his father was a fire fighter - probably similar benefits to Derick's police officer father. But the social security and fraternity benefits were not sufficient to pay for a full ride at an in-state University. (He was fortunate to win a full scholarship.). Derick attended an out of state university, this the costs would have been even higher.

I'm sure those things helped, but probably weren't enough. And payments, even for those in college, now end at 18.

 

Of course we don't know. Cathy and her boys could have been left very well set after her husband's death. Or maybe Derick's parents were super-serious about college funds for their boys and saved a bundle. There are lots of ways to pay for college these days. If Derick had the same amount of aid as the average student gets these days, then he deserves some kudos for being debt-free - because most kids DO have college loans to repay now. My guess is just that it probably did not happen that way. If his brother was also in school at the same time, Derick would likely have qualified for some serious grant $$ [Pell program etc]. He may have earned merit $$ - scholarship - as well. He may not have had an easy time of it, but he did have time to be the mascot at his school, so unless that's a paying job, he wasn't working 60 hours a week. I think it's too soon and there's too much that's unknown to award him his "debt-free" Scout badge yet.

[GEML]

I think it's likely that his parents paid for college. (His father died his freshman year.) But he said on the show that he earned scholarships, so I'll take him at his word that they were at least part of the equation.

But his online M. Div course wouldn't be cheap, and obviously that seems to be paid for, somehow, and he just spent two years in Nepal. When everyone else went on the zip line overnight, they had overnights, he had a backpack. I think he's pretty frugal.

Edited November 8, 2014 by GEML

[cmr2014]

I think that one of the reasons that Anna gave birth on camera is that she though she was supposed to -- and wanted desperately to be a "good wife" and fit in with the Duggar family.

 

She seems so much more confident now. I wonder if she would agree to have another baby on camera -- even for a paycheck.

[GEML]

I am now genuinely curious if Jill gives birth on camera. I just sort of assumed she would, but maybe Derick has some modesty issues of his own, and I think, after the PEOPLE vs TLC announcement debacle where PEOPLE clearly won, finances definitely are in play.

[RedheadZombie]

IDespite all the criticism that the Duggars put their kids to work and don't encourage the kids to get a college education or real job, I think it is admirable that JB teaches them skills that they could use as fall back in case.

 

But they can't really "fall back" on anything.  They are learning from Jim Bob who is self-taught as well.  There are wonderful construction jobs everywhere, but you are expected to have been schooled in your trade, apprenticed, and most of the time - in the union. Jim Bob's boys can hire out as a handy man.  That is inconsistent work, no benefits, and not highly paid. 

 

As for Jill, maybe she'll be on board with delivering on camera, but Derrick might object. 

 

I agree with a lot of posters here that Jill seems to be running the ship.  She's really just playing a more honest and overt version of what she learned from Michelle.  Unlike JB, Derick had some experience with women, and seems more level-headed.  I think JB would agree to anything Michelle wanted.  I hope (please God!) that Derick is the type who lets his wife make most of the decisions, but will put his foot down when he feels strongly about something.  By the time their first child gets school-aged, he will have had five years of watching the totally wild, and woefully under educated howlers and lost girls.  Since he's college educated, I'm sure he's already discovered the gaps in Jill's education - which means in their future child's education. I can't imagine he wouldn't want better for his own child.  He's obviously is crazy over Jill, but she's just as crazy back.  Michelle seems to have followed the clichéd advice - marry someone who loves you more.  You'll have all the power in the marriage.

I'm sure those things helped, but probably weren't enough. And payments, even for those in college, now end at 18.

 

My dad died when I was seventeen.  I collected his social security for a few months, but it stopped at eighteen - even though it was only November of my senior year in high school.  My mom has not stopped cursing Ronald Reagan since.

[msblossom]

But his online M. Div course wouldn't be cheap, and obviously that seems to be paid for, somehow, and he just spent two years in Nepal. When everyone else went on the zip line overnight, they had overnights, he had a backpack. I think he's pretty frugal.

He would have received about a 75% discount on his M. Div online course. Not cheap, but affordable. He's paying way less than the average SBC on-campus and online seminarian.

The breakdown looks like this:

50% off as a member of an SBC church (the cooperative fund pays for that).

Another 50% off of his already discounted tuition because he's a Journeyman Missionary with the IMB.

[BitterApple]

Regarding Derick and his tuition, if I had to guess I'd say his father must have had a pretty decent life insurance policy through the police department. Anyone who works in a dangerous profession (law enforcement, military, firefighters etc.) usually makes sure their family is well-covered. Throw in grants, scholarships and other aid and I could see him swinging college debt free.

[NausetGirl]

I think it's likely that his parents paid for college. (His father died his freshman year.) But he said on the show that he earned scholarships, so I'll take him at his word that they were at least part of the equation.

But his online M. Div course wouldn't be cheap, and obviously that seems to be paid for, somehow, and he just spent two years in Nepal. When everyone else went on the zip line overnight, they had overnights, he had a backpack. I think he's pretty frugal.

 

My theory too - his undergrad degree was basically covered. No idea about the M Div. They may be using all the extras from being Duggars for that - and living on his WalMart salary. That's admirable. I am curious as to whether the Dillards pay anything monthly to Boob for the big house. When I lived at home after finishing college and was working, in the late 70s, I was expected to pay $100 board every month - and I was glad to. I had a good deal and knew it. I'm guessing Boob would view this as good financial discipline for the Dillards to do this too. But this is Boob, so who knows?

Edited November 8, 2014 by NausetGirl

[NausetGirl]

But they can't really "fall back" on anything.  They are learning from Jim Bob who is self-taught as well.  There are wonderful construction jobs everywhere, but you are expected to have been schooled in your trade, apprenticed, and most of the time - in the union. Jim Bob's boys can hire out as a handy man.  That is inconsistent work, no benefits, and not highly paid. 

 

 

I agree with a lot of posters here that Jill seems to be running the ship.  She's really just playing a more honest and overt version of what she learned from Michelle.  Unlike JB, Derick had some experience with women, and seems more level-headed.  I think JB would agree to anything Michelle wanted.  I hope (please God!) that Derick is the type who lets his wife make most of the decisions, but will put his foot down when he feels strongly about something.  By the time their first child gets school-aged, he will have had five years of watching the totally wild, and woefully under educated howlers and lost girls.  Since he's college educated, I'm sure he's already discovered the gaps in Jill's education - which means in their future child's education. I can't imagine he wouldn't want better for his own child.  He's obviously is crazy over Jill, but she's just as crazy back.  Michelle seems to have followed the clichéd advice - marry someone who loves you more.  You'll have all the power in the marriage.

 

My dad died when I was seventeen.  I collected his social security for a few months, but it stopped at eighteen - even though it was only November of my senior year in high school.  My mom has not stopped cursing Ronald Reagan since.

 

I agree - Social Security benefits for dependents should continue to age 21 IF the child is in college or trade school full-time. In most cases, a college kid is still declared as a dependent during that time and the parents are supporting them. Having that benefit enabled my college roommate to continue her education without a massive amount of debt. Now she'd have that debt - or wouldn't have the degree. Sad.

[GEML]

He would have received about a 75% discount on his M. Div online course. Not cheap, but affordable. He's paying way less than the average SBC on-campus and online seminarian.

The breakdown looks like this:

50% off as a member of an SBC church (the cooperative fund pays for that).

Another 50% off of his already discounted tuition because he's a Journeyman Missionary with the IMB.

That is good to know. I'm also assuming he probably did some personal fundraising for his trip to Nepal, visiting churches and perhaps went around afterwards and did a presentation.

But it still was a two year commitment with no money coming in that required planning.

[springtime]

From side hugs to televised childbirth

Hold them back and then full steam ahead

Does it make any sense?

[Rhondinella]

Well, no, of course it doesn't make any sense.  But so little does with these people.  For example, I've never met a family this conservative in every other way who were OK with their daughters piling so much makeup on their faces.  That's always seemed a little incongruous to me.

[Potato511]

 

Some day someone has to point out the hypocrisy of Michelle never giving birth on camera,

But Michelle has given birth on camera. Not sure which kid I saw her birthing, but as it came out she praised Jesus, then breathlessly asked "Big Daddy" to cut the cord. I remember it, because it made me feel like I was witnessing TMI about what their sex life might be like (ug).

[GEML]

When you see the young women without make-up you realize just how much they wear. It's way out of keeping with almost anyone I know out in "the world" (and I have a son in college, so I'm in the thick of this age group) and among the Fundies I know? No way.

It's little things like this that have made me wonder if Jim Bob really is sort of struggling to find appropriate spouses for his children. I think a lot of people in their world LIKE the Duggars, but Im betting a lot of families back off when it comes to marrying into them. And those who are seeking them out aggressively are likely raising a red flag with Jim Bob. It's a pretty weird Catch-22.

Edited November 9, 2014 by GEML

[truthtalk2014]

Oh that poor girl -- I had the awful morning/noon/and night sickness with my first, and she looks like she's been through the wringer.  Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

 

I would!  Perfect for a worst enemy.  

 

 

  (lol, years ago one of my distant relatives agreed to let her parents, in-laws, siblings, and close friends be present while her husband filmed her giving birth.  She was influenced by people telling her that when the time came she wouldn't care who was there, her only thought would be to get the baby out!.  But as her labor progressed, she asked more and more people to leave until only her husband remained.  As he whipped out the camcorder again and positioned himself next to the doctor to get the best footage she told him that either the camcorder left or both he and the camcorder left.  He wisely handed the camcorder out the door and moved back up to stand with her and hold her hand, although he kept darting down towards the other end to check on the progress.  On their next pregnancy, they didn't tell anyone she was in labor and said that it was a much better experience when it was just the family.  Only the neighbor that looked after their first child knew what was happening and she didn't tell.)

 

I was extremely pissed when my mother in law walked through the room all cheerful and smiling with a plant in her hand- when I was in pain.  Luckily I was taken out shortly after for a c-section.  

I'm not saying Derick is not frugal, but I think graduating from college without debt may be much more due to a healthy government or fraternal-organization helping hand - and maybe both - due to his father's death. His dad may have had a generous life insurance policy as well that helped. Even 35 years ago, my college roommate received a Social Security check once a month - a 3-digit figure at the time - during the full 4 years we were in college due to her dad's death when she was 17. It stopped only when she turned 21, 5 weeks before we graduated.

Depends on how you plan you education and what state you are in. If you are smart (IMO), you will attend community college and get the basics out of the way - and with certain programs and good grades, you can end up owing very little when you complete your degree.  That is, if you know what you want to do.  Most 18-20 year olds have absolutely no idea.  A huge percentage of college grads do not end up doing what what they majored in.  That can mean a huge waste of student loans.  I've encouraged my daughter to take a year off between two years of college and the third- and explore- because I honestly don't feel that most people know at age 20 what they want to do forever.  

[GEML]

I agree that community college is a great option, but maybe not is you get decent scholarships elsewhere. Here in VA you are required to take remedial classes which the bulk of students don't pass. The bulk of students coming from my HS probably wouldn't have passed them, but would have (and did) passed freshman course work in a variety of colleges. These remedial classes must be paid for, and extremely boring for any student who might have been on the borderline, and do not transfer. It's possible to lose an entire semester, even two, and many students drop out because they think - hey, if this is college, I'd rather just work.

Had they gone to a different environment, they might have thrived.

There is no one best way to educate an 18-25 year old.

[imsoconfused]

I'm pretty sure she'll televise the birth 

1) $$$

2) parental pressure - ratings

3) she seems VERY obsessed with her own pregnancy and pregnancy in general (well that's all they're allowed to be) - I think she would LOVE the opportunity to "inspire" others (and all these other arrogant words these people think they do on a daily basis. She would want to "encourage" other young women to have a baby and that type of birth, and use the birth episode as a "ministry" blah blah

[Fosca]

I agree that community college is a great option, but maybe not is you get decent scholarships elsewhere. Here in VA you are required to take remedial classes which the bulk of students don't pass. The bulk of students coming from my HS probably wouldn't have passed them, but would have (and did) passed freshman course work in a variety of colleges. These remedial classes must be paid for, and extremely boring for any student who might have been on the borderline, and do not transfer. It's possible to lose an entire semester, even two, and many students drop out because they think - hey, if this is college, I'd rather just work.

Had they gone to a different environment, they might have thrived.

There is no one best way to educate an 18-25 year old.

Unless Virginia is really different from the states in which I have taught, not everyone in a community college has to take remedial courses. Every entrant either is placed into math/English/reading classes according to SAT/ACT scores, or they take placement tests (heck, 30 years ago I was a National Merit Scholar, and I still took placement tests!). In my classes I have both remedial and non-remedial students, and the difference is huge.

Borderline people may find the classes boring, which is why I recommend that they study a bit and take the test again. They can take the tests up to three times a semester.

I sometimes wonder if the local school districts here do any better than Michelle does teaching kids;the teachers are terrified they'll be fired if they fail too many students, and administrators are afraid the district will lose funding, so I gat students who are barely literate in my classes and who don't see why they should have to learn anything. Such a shame.

[Andrews m]

When Mr. Andrew M and I got married, our rabbi kept stressing how the day was really not ours, but for our friends and family. We worked liked fiends to make sure our guests were comfortable, very well-fed, and happy. we made time to talk to everyone and show how grateful we were that everyone came. There were no volunteers (except my mom--you try to keep a Jewish mom out of her daughter's wedding!). There is a part after the ceremony where the bride and groom are supposed to be alone for a few minutes and feed each other to show that we will now take care of each other. Didn't happen. Everyone followed us, so we went with the flow and did the receiving line right there. We let the parts of the day that could have been about us and happily let our guests have them. No awful dresses for my bridesmaids, either. They were asked to pick out the black dress of their choice, one that they would wear more than once. Weddings are about hospitality. This is why the Duggars drive me nuts. They can talk the talk all they want, but they don't walk the walk. Jill's wedding was a stunning example of this.

[NausetGirl]

When Mr. Andrew M and I got married, our rabbi kept stressing how the day was really not ours, but for our friends and family. We worked liked fiends to make sure our guests were comfortable, very well-fed, and happy. we made time to talk to everyone and show how grateful we were that everyone came. There were no volunteers (except my mom--you try to keep a Jewish mom out of her daughter's wedding!). There is a part after the ceremony where the bride and groom are supposed to be alone for a few minutes and feed each other to show that we will now take care of each other. Didn't happen. Everyone followed us, so we went with the flow and did the receiving line right there. We let the parts of the day that could have been about us and happily let our guests have them. No awful dresses for my bridesmaids, either. They were asked to pick out the black dress of their choice, one that they would wear more than once. Weddings are about hospitality. This is why the Duggars drive me nuts. They can talk the talk all they want, but they don't walk the walk. Jill's wedding was a stunning example of this.

 

Well-said, Andrews M. I bet your guests are still talking about your wedding. And I really admire the emphasis on hospitality and the treatment of guests, as opposed to the self-absorbed narcissistic "...it's the Bride's Day, and she gets to have everything she wants, exactly how she wants it..." How did things become so one-sided? Also, GREAT bridesmaid idea! Easy - no Saturdays [for months] taken up slogging from store to store trying to find a dress that all like and look well in. Fair to everyone - each bridesmaid gets something she likes and is happy to wear. And not to mention, in her budget. Cost-effective - everyone gets something that can be worn again. Kudos to both you and your rabbi for keeping it real...