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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Maybe when the newness and shininess wears off everything Derrick will face up to certain things including the lack in Duggar education. I can't believe he won't want better for his own children.

I think after a few months he's going to start to understand that Jill may know a lot of memorised bible verses, but lacks even common knowledge, like not knowing who The Beatles or Dolly Parton is? Let alone what she missed by only taking faith based classes. There is a reason they say the same things ALL the time they don't have informed opinions about well.... anything. There is only one right way to live and it is just happens to be miraculously their way! Maybe I should send her some books in the mail to expand that brain;)

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I think after a few months he's going to start to understand that Jill may know a lot of memorised bible verses, but lacks even common knowledge, like not knowing who The Beatles or Dolly Parton is? Let alone what she missed by only taking faith based classes. There is a reason they say the same things ALL the time they don't have informed opinions about well.... anything. There is only one right way to live and it is just happens to be miraculously their way! Maybe I should send her some books in the mail to expand that brain;)

The pop culture stuff -- maybe that's excusable because he knows that she didn't grow up with any access to TV. But the Duggars do tell everyone they are homeschooled. Most people who homeschool do teach their kids something -- at least the basics. Little does Derick realize that ATI homeschool is nothing but bible verses and worksheets. To be a fly on the wall the next time he's watching the news on a weekend and makes some comparison of the current state of the world to some big event like the Civil War or Vietnam War or desegregation or the space race -- and she has no clue what he's talking about or spews some odd religious statement about those big historical events. He may then quickly realize that he doesn't want her homeschooling. On the plus side, if they do send their kid to school and Jill helps with homework -- she may be one of the few parents who actually learns stuff for the first time from her kid's 4th grade social studies unit.

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Most homeschool kids I've met have been sooooooo smart. A homeschool girl got me through my chemistry class, so a big thanks to her;) Not sure if it is because of their parents, or because it seems to be more student driven, they get to choose what they study so they are more passionate/dedicated students.  The Duggars homeschool looks whack as hell. I think you'd learn more if you just watched the news occasionally. 

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I've known three families that homeschooled.  In all cases, the kids were out wandering around during the day, were bored and surly as h***, and barely passed the tests that the school districts insisted they take occasionally.  In each family, by the time the kids got to high school age they were spending most of their time with dropouts and older people who were either chronically unemployed or only worked fast food jobs part time.

 

One family moved away when the father lost his job.  They took their 16 year old son with them but left behind their pregnant 17 year old daughter because she'd quit school to live with her baby daddy.  Last I heard the son also quit school and went to work as a day laborer.

 

Another family got their kids to graduate, but then couldn't get them to go to work or college.  Lost track of them, so I don't know what finally happened with them.

 

The last family I'm in touch with because they're distantly related to me.  The mother quit school herself as a sophomore and wasn't a good student long before that, and is lazy.  Her son quit as a freshman, couch surfed for a few years, and from the age of 20 has spent more time in prison than out.  The oldest daughter quit as a sophomore, has several kids that other people take care of, and has a severe drug habit.  The youngest daughter is 12, and goes to school but does poorly because her mother has made it obvious that education is useless, and has stated outright that she only goes to school because she gets breakfast and lunch, and there are guys to hang around with.  Instead of a scholastic education, the 12 year old is watching her elders use public assistance, work sometimes, move in and out with boyfriends and relatives, and has already had a pregnancy scare.

 

The problem with homeschooling is that it is often used by parents who don't want to be bothered to make their kid go to school, oversee homework, attend teacher conferences, etc.

 

The homeschoolers that are themselves educated and apply themselves to teaching their kids often turn out excellent students. Those are the parents who value education, continue learning themselves, will ask for help when needed, and often put their kids in public or private school when the kids have reached a point where their education is best served by someone other than mom & dad.  Those same parents also seem to make sure their kids aren't isolated, but have constant opportunities to interact with other kids and learn social skills.

 

But from what I've seen, too many homeschooled kids are being cheated out of an education, social activities with their peers, and learning things like a basic work ethic.

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I've known many families that homeschooled and their children were ALL very prepared for college level work. Most of them already were as educated as any liberal arts educated college graduate. That doesn't mean they are all that way and clearly the Duggars were not preparing their children for a higher degree so they may not be well educated but most homeschooled children are.

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I pray Jill doesn't homeschool. I'm assuming that in a conservative state like Arkansas there has to be a zillion Christian private schools they can send their kids to if they want them to have a faith-based education. Jill is a sweet girl, but she's never struck me as the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to academics. 

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I've never been impressed with the homeschooling efforts around me as most of the time it was to keep the older kids home to take care of the younger kids or because the parents were selfish and wanted the kids home with them so they weren't alone. I suppose it can work because I have heard these stories of incredibly gifted and talented homeschooled kids, but I have never encountered one of these prodigies.  

 

I think Derick will put his foot down and ultimately send their kids to public/private school. I imagine Derick's mom would also put some pressure that way as well with her educational background.  

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Private schools can be expensive even with only having a few children. Plus the fact, book learning is great, but a child should be allowed to expand his or her social learning outside of the family unit. Derick had the chance to do so, but poor Jill has not.

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Jill has no friends. She has family and family friends of her parents' choosing. There are no individuals that Jill spends time with because they discovered they had mutual interests, etc. This has got to be weird for Derick, who got to go outside the family and make his own friends. I wonder how Jill feels going to Derick's friend's wedding and not having her whole freaking family there and knowing she has no relationships like friends. How does she make conversation on her own with strangers without cameras rolling. All of her views and values have been spoon-fed to her without her being allowed to ask questions or stray. Has she even ever watched the news?? 

 

 

(Edited to make "parents" possessive, which, you know, J'Boob and Bitchelle totally are.)

Edited by mimionthebeach
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I hope Jill realizes that the isolation that she was forced into because of her parents religious choices is not what she wants for her child. But, I bet she'll raise the baby just like how she was raised. Unless Derrick puts his foot down, and says no way, 

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I would not be surprise if the cameras were there when Derick and Jill went to his friend's wedding. This is a newlywed and Jill expanding her wings moments, and TLC and JimBoob may not want the viewers to miss it. *rolling eyes*

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I would not be surprise if the cameras were there when Derick and Jill went to his friend's wedding. This is a newlywed and Jill expanding her wings moments, and TLC and JimBoob may not want the viewers to miss it. *rolling eyes*

 

Good point. Of course, what every couple wants on their wedding day is a whole camera crew following one of their guests around!  If you're right (and you very well could be) Derick soon won't have friends either.

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I hope the women who had their births filmed for the show really wanted a camera crew in their faces. TLC even uses people outside of the family to make the show look good. If Jill and Jana were just pretending to be midwives would we care? Boob wants us to see for ourselves that they have real "Careers". Well, maybe not anymore. All that work for nothing. 

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Most homeschool kids I've met have been sooooooo smart. A homeschool girl got me through my chemistry class, so a big thanks to her;) Not sure if it is because of their parents, or because it seems to be more student driven, they get to choose what they study so they are more passionate/dedicated students.  The Duggars homeschool looks whack as hell. I think you'd learn more if you just watched the news occasionally.

But can you imagine Michelle teaching chemistry?

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I see Jill as an interesting mix of both her parents.  She clearly likes attention (Michelle) and has no problem with making sure those around her know what she thinks (JimBob's pontificating style) (and at the expense of her less sure/less vocal sisters).  Derick's laid back personality certainly would appeal to someone who is used to taking charge; and her outgoing bossiness might appeal to him.  That being said, the materialism gets to me.... no matter how altruistic the mission goal is, so far they just seem greedy.  

 

(edited to add:  I'm a middle child.  Can you tell?)

Edited by HeyNow
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It's a far cry from smiling with your hands on your tummy on a magazine cover to giving birth to your first child with a camera in your face and knowing full well that every moan and groan is going to be on national TV. Not matter how many siblings you've raised and how many births you've attended, no one can fully prepare you for what labor will feel like. No one.

I think Jill will end up with a happy, healthy baby, but she'll likely have to deliver for the whole world and then spend her first hours postpartum clutching her newborn on her couch surrounded by her parents and dozen-and-a-half siblings for another photo shoot.

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I would assume that any Duggar who has studied anything higher than I'd guess about algebra or physical science, has done so through the College Plus program, since they have said that they use College Plus for their "higher learning" option (you know, since people who go to actual universities might, I don't know, learn something?). The folks over at TWOP did not speak of it positively; I am looking at its website right now and it is affiliated with actual accredited universities, so there's that. What I don't know (and of course their website won't say) is if it's more like that University of Phoenix (I know people who have obtained actual bachelor's degrees from there) or if it's more like those places that are more scam-y, the Consumerist website has been reporting on some of those lately.

 

edited a third time to add that I'm reading about the majors they offer, and many of them are things that make total sense for this kind of program - business, accounting, computer information systems, so on. One of them is music (my degree) and the list of courses that one might take are: Music History and Literature, Conducting, Music Business, (all good), and my favorite: Hymn Playing. Yes, totally. Also, the first career opportunity is music teacher... um.... not with a BA in music, you're not, unless you mean like teaching music at a church or a Christian school that's less picky about certification... E for effort anyway.

 

To take this back to Jill and Derick - they could absolutely home school if they wanted to, and it would probably be a good option for them if they do pursue missions on any level. There are a million real curriculum options out there, and I doubt Derick would be all "Oh, sure, do the Bible verses & worksheets, they'll get what they need". I know there are people out there who abuse the somewhat lax laws in certain states, but they are by far the minority and undermine the millions and millions of families who home school for a variety of non-religious and religious reasons and educate their children at least as well as than their public schooled counterparts.

Edited by JessDVD
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It's a far cry from smiling with your hands on your tummy on a magazine cover to giving birth to your first child with a camera in your face and knowing full well that every moan and groan is going to be on national TV. Not matter how many siblings you've raised and how many births you've attended, no one can fully prepare you for what labor will feel like. No one.

I think Jill will end up with a happy, healthy baby, but she'll likely have to deliver for the whole world and then spend her first hours postpartum clutching her newborn on her couch surrounded by her parents and dozen-and-a-half siblings for another photo shoot.

If Jill's birth ends up on camera, it is entirely Jill's doing and no one else's -- I'm not sure that I'll feel bad for her like I did for Anna. Anna is a sister in law who married the eldest son. Whatever Josh and JB and Michelle said went. She was a naïve fundie girl who married young and likely had probably heard "birth is hard but God will take care of you." If she had never been to a birth before, or not paid close attention to any home birth her mom may have had -- she may have had zero idea what it would really be like -- the pain, what it feels like to be completely out there for everyone to see, where doctors/nurses hands go etc. It's not like she had the ability to watch a birthing video or even a TLC program on birth. If she expressed any fears -- which most first time moms do -- I'm sure her mother in law and/or mom just provided the religious perspective and downplayed the whole thing and then Josh strong armed her into birthing on camera. These fundie girls are a bit overwhelmed because of how sheltered they are and the lack of info they have, and then JB and Michelle just take advantage of it to make a TV show. There was an early pregnancy appointment for Anna where the dr. said they had to do a transvag ultrasound. Anna had a look of horror on her face -- as I'm sure many women have when they have to do certain ob-gyn procedures for the first time. The camera was up in her face to record that look of horror and even the dr. looked like she felt bad and patted her on the shoulder and said it was not that bad.

 

With Jill -- she has more idea than anyone -- including her mom -- of what birth is really like. She has attended a LOT of them even in the short 6 months to 1 yr she's trained. She knows the pain, awkwardness, nervousness and everything. She can easily say -- sorry Pops, I know it's good for TV ratings but no way can I do that in front of anyone besides Derick. What exactly would he do? He can't strong arm Derick who isn't his son, doesn't rely on TLC income, and isn't the one giving birth; if his daughter says no, JB is kind of stuck to find other programming.

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In my opinion, Derick is relying on the TLC income if he is willing to let his wedding and the upcoming first child storyline be sold to the highest bidder. Look how long it took them to announce her pregnancy to the world. Nope, I will not be surprise if all or part of the birth is shown on television.

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Maybe I'm the only one but I don't think she's truly showing. I think she may be gaining weight esp since she's so thin, but it's the kind of thing where it can easily be covered up if she wore the right attire; instead she and Derick are accentuating it with their poses, her clothing etc. I think most women gain weight and go through that awkward stage at work where it's too soon to tell but they're a bit bigger -- they don't take out an announcement, they hide it with clothing until they're ready to tell. They could have hidden it a bit longer. And as for being on the road -- if they thought they'd start getting random questions, they could have avoided the latest press tour -- just don't go and say that Derick doesn't have the time off and Jill doesn't want to be away from her husband.

That little bump was probably photoshopped in there

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They use a computer based program called Switched on Schoolhouse for children after they learn to read.  College Plus or College Minus as it sometimes called doesn't grant any degrees.  It's an advisory type program that tells students what courses they can test out of in college and provides manuals to study for the tests.  It's really expensive for what they offer since most people can do that on their own.  The students then have to enroll in a college that will accept their testing credits and usually they pick from the few schools that will let them do almost the entire degree online.  So far none of the Duggars seem to have progressed very far in the testing for credits.

Edited by Absolom
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I am hoping they use on-line programs for courses like chemistry and physics. Have they ever told what they use?

Chemistry and physics were my worst subjects, but I was in a good school with great teachers, so it was all on me. But learning about chemistry/physics without the lab work aspect? I just can't imagine that.
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Chemistry and physics were my worst subjects, but I was in a good school with great teachers, so it was all on me. But learning about chemistry/physics without the lab work aspect? I just can't imagine that.

I can't either, but it seems to be done. 

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As a non-science person, I am totally down with non-lab chem and physics... although there's a chance I might have actually understood the tiny bit of physics I studied, had I done it in a lab setting. If I'm still home schooling my kids by that point, their science past biology will be outsourced to the nearest high school or community college.

 

I can't imagine the Duggars encouraging science to that extent though. It's not really relevant to a life of finding the most lucrative/least effort required self-employment possible.

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There's nothing the Duggars won't film for tv, whether it be Anna's labor and births, Michelle's miscarriage, or Josie in the ICU. There's no way that Jill's baby's birth won't be shown on the show. She and Derick are fundie stars and the Duggarbots will be waiting for that baby with great anticipation. Ratings gold.

As far as the content of the homeschooling as regards science, keep in mind that the Duggars believe that people and dinosaurs shared the planet a few thousand years ago. They take the Biblical story of the creation as fact. So what science education they receive is, like everything else, informed by their religion.

Edited by Hpmec
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There's nothing the Duggars won't film for tv, whether it be Anna's labor and births, Michelle's miscarriage, or Josie in the ICU. There's no way that Jill's baby's birth won't be shown on the show. She and Derick are fundie stars and the Duggarbots will be waiting for that baby with great anticipation. Ratings gold.

Don't forget grandpa Duggar in a wheelchair needing to be spoonfed during a blackout. Or, the Great Wisdom Teeth marathon of pain. Or, the vomitfest of 2011, complete with paper towel lined Styrofoam cups and the anecdotes that Jim Bob almost drank out of one. There's essentially nothing too scared for the Duggars to exploit.

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Wanderwoman, how right you are. There was also a recent episode in which Michelle smelled Josie's rear end, made a face, and announced that she was stinky and needed a change. In another epiode, one of Josh and Anna's offsping got sick in a New York motel room and was hustled off to the toilet. Entirely TMI.

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ITA. When your entire relationship and marriage has already been in the news, and your mom and sister-in-law have already given birth on TV multiple times, there is no way the arrival of Baby Dill won't be a big time TLC event.

Part of me would love to see Derrick put his foot down. But I don't think that is going to happen. I guess the most we can hope for is that his mom gets to meet and spends some time with her first grandchild away from the TLC spotlight.

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There's nothing the Duggars won't film for tv, whether it be Anna's labor and births, Michelle's miscarriage, or Josie in the ICU. There's no way that Jill's baby's birth won't be shown on the show. She and Derick are fundie stars and the Duggarbots will be waiting for that baby with great anticipation. Ratings gold.

As far as the content of the homeschooling as regards science, keep in mind that the Duggars believe that people and dinosaurs shared the planet a few thousand years ago. They take the Biblical story of the creation as fact. So what science education they receive is, like everything else, informed by their religion.

Don't all Christians?

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Don't all Christians?

No.

But learning about chemistry/physics without the lab work aspect? I just can't imagine that.

They could set up a home-type lab. You can buy physics and chemistry kits online. Might not be as sophisticated as the stuff you'd find in a high school - my Amazon search brings up mostly stuff aimed at little kids - but I guess it's better than nothing. 

 

At least with physics, you don't need a lot of complicated equipment. Maybe Jill and Derick can make their kid do the egg drop project lol. 

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Really? Is the Bible figurative or literal for Christians? Is the earth thousands of years old or, 3 billion?

The Bible is not considered scientifically literal for a vast number of Christians. It is not considered a book of science at all. I'm a retired mainline pastor and I expect my timeline for earth's existence would be no different than yours unless you are of the New Earth philosophy. 

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Really? Is the Bible figurative or literal for Christians? Is the earth thousands of years old or, 3 billion?

This is probably better for the Religion thread, but the quick answer is that Genesis is figurative for a lot of Christians. Even the Vatican has said that evolution/the Big Bang is a possible explanation of how the world came into being so long as you believe that God is the one directing it (so, for example, he set off the big bang). Though the number of young earth creationists is rising, it's far from what all Christians believe.

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College Plus or College Minus as it sometimes called doesn't grant any degrees.  It's an advisory type program that tells students what courses they can test out of in college and provides manuals to study for the tests.  It's really expensive for what they offer since most people can do that on their own.  The students then have to enroll in a college that will accept their testing credits and usually they pick from the few schools that will let them do almost the entire degree online.

Thank you for this. It really bothers me when people don't bother to look into what they are talking about. So many people on TWOP talked about College Plus like it was a for-profit college. It's not.  They don't even offer the tests- they direct you to CLEP and AP tests.  Tests that almost any accredited college will recognize (though the number they recognize is often limited). They just have coaches who help you determine what tests to take. If you already went to a college (or high school) a counselor would do that for you instead.  It looks like they now have affiliated colleges that are part of their guaranteed bachelors degree program. They didn't have that a few years ago- those are colleges like Liberty University, which should say something.

 

 

I hope the women who had their births filmed for the show really wanted a camera crew in their faces.

Didn't TLC used to have a show that was basically just this? They'd show the parents decorating the nursery, and then film the birth.  It amazes me the number of people who will give away private moments just to be on TV.

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Yes, it was called 'A Baby Story'. I watched it frequently as a teen because I thought I might go to med school & specialize in OB. I think it still aires in the early mornings. Discovery Health also used to air repeats.

Edited by jb0495
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Just read the People article. Nothing in there that you wouldn't expect.

 

The only thing that stuck out -- Derick says that they still want to live abroad and do mission work and are working to make that happen; he thinks they'll leave in anywhere from 2-5 years. He also says that it's hard for kids to adjust to a new culture, but they will likely homeschool. Nice to see that he has completely bought into the Duggar way of thinking. I would be surprised if he himself was homeschooled and then ended up going to a huge university -- it's possible but unlikely. I'm not sure why he doesn't want his kid to have the advantages he had. And if they're planning on going 2-5 yrs from now and they keep living in the state of "we're not trying for a baby but not preventing" -- they will likely have 2-3 kids. How easy or realistic is it to go live overseas in harsh conditions with a family? I know one of Anna's sisters is doing it, but do Jill and Derick really want to live like that?

Actually, there are many homeschoolers who are accepted and are attending major universities. I personally know a few. It's not homeschooling, in general, that would keep students from being accepted or attending these schools,  But it's the Duggar's beliefs and others like them that don't believe in the opportunities of higher education. Most homeschoolers don't homeschool the way the Duggars do. 

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Why doesn't Derick just stick with his Wal-Mart job and do charity work in the local community? There's plenty of needy people right here in the good ole USA. It seems ridiculous to give up a stable job with benefits so he and Jill can go play Mother Theresa in some godforsaken country. I mean, I think it's great they want to serve others, but when you have your own children depending on you for food, clothing, shelter etc., you have to prioritize a little. I can see doing 2 or 3 week mission trips, but a year or two years is going to amount to a lot of lost income for Derick. Just my opinion...

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Why doesn't Derick just stick with his Wal-Mart job and do charity work in the local community? There's plenty of needy people right here in the good ole USA.

Aren’t these mission trips mostly about evangelizing to “unreached” people? The service work is just the ticket in for a lot of these groups. Christian people can do charity work in other countries that they don’t call a mission trip because the primary purpose is actually about charity and not evangelism. But if a Christian person calls their trip a mission, to me that’s a big clue that the main goal is to proselytize. 

 

I know that Mormons will send people on missions to various places in the US, but I think that a lot of other Christian denominations see Americans as already having access to churches that the unwashed heathens in other countries don’t have. IDK if that applies to Jill and Derick, though. 

Edited by galax-arena
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Thank you for this. It really bothers me when people don't bother to look into what they are talking about. So many people on TWOP talked about College Plus like it was a for-profit college. It's not.  They don't even offer the tests- they direct you to CLEP and AP tests.  Tests that almost any accredited college will recognize (though the number they recognize is often limited). They just have coaches who help you determine what tests to take. If you already went to a college (or high school) a counselor would do that for you instead.  It looks like they now have affiliated colleges that are part of their guaranteed bachelors degree program. They didn't have that a few years ago- those are colleges like Liberty University, which should say something.

 

Didn't TLC used to have a show that was basically just this? They'd show the parents decorating the nursery, and then film the birth.  It amazes me the number of people who will give away private moments just to be on TV.

What does Liberty University accepting the competency credits say?

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galax-arena, thanks for the reminder. I forgot that the main purpose of these trips is to convert the unwashed masses. Funny they do so many trips to Central America which is loaded with those ebil Catholics! It's a wonder Bin and Princess made it out alive...

 

I think Derick and Jill have good hearts, I just wouldn't want my small children in a country where there's no access to good medical care, clean water etc. I remember that episode of the Little Couple where Jen became sick in India and got the hell out of Dodge, fearing she would need a blood transfusion. I'm probably too much of a Debbie Downer, I just think they need to consider "worst case scenarios" now that a child will be dragged along for the ride.

Edited by BitterApple
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What does Liberty University accepting the competency credits say?

That right their buy in is from conservative, christian schools.  This is not a service of the mainstream yet.

But it is a regionally accredited university. A real school.

(The other two schools are Moody Bible Institute and Thomas Edison College, also both regionally accredited. Thomas Edison is a public school.)

Of course, those are only the schools that do the bachelor's degree track. Using this program you could transfer credits into most universities.

 

However, if any of the Duggar children actually pass CLEP or AP tests, I'd be impressed. It would certainly be a feat of self-study based on the preparation they've recieved as part of their schooling. Those tests are miles beyond GED level study.

Edited by Skittl1321
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