Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[NikSac]

What happened in Jill's year before this? Sorry if I missed something major. I only started keeping up with the family after the scandal broke.

 

As far as I can remember she was "mom" to numerous kids (her Mom's kids technically), met a man she loved "long distance" (Derick), married him, moved out of her original home of a-gazillion people, got to <gasp!> "front hug!", got married, got pregnant practically immediately, had a baby after a very difficult birth, and now all the rest of it. I can see how her world's pretty much falling apart.

[JoanArc]

Jill's also lost A LOT of power in her marriage. The show, money, and domineering family gave her major sway over Derrick, and their married life. Now the show (and spinoff) are probably dead, everyone knows Jill's been traumatized, no more easy money for just sitting around and smiling, the Duggars are now infamous, and they're at the center of a big scandal. My fantasy is that Derrick steps up and says - baby let's try it my way. A bit more secular, getting Jill some help, working his accounting job, laying off all the pregnancies, etc. I know this is just a dream....

[Churchhoney]

Derick needs to stay at Walmart for now... health insurance, other benefits, and a good paycheck.  Nepal won't work if there's no Duggar money supporting them while they are gone.  They need to move (for more privacy) as far as they can get from Jim Bob  and Michelle  (for independence)  and have Derick able to commute to work.  They need a second car for Jill (so that she feels like an adult).  After that they need to breathe, put one foot in front of the other, and veg out for a while. 

 

I wonder whether TLC wasn't going to support some of the Nepal move. There was talk about people "working" on storylines for the continued (or new) show. And that certainly would have been one. If the continuation is now threatened (or over), I wonder whether that alone might kill the Nepal plan. .... That could be tied in with Jill's current apparent devastation over the Duggar debacle as well, seems to me.

[GEML]

The house at the 1.1 million price came with a large amount of land. That is now separate from what Jill and Derick are living in.

Jim Bob is worth plenty. If he can't invest and manage what he already has to give his family a middle class lifestyle in one of the least expensive areas in the country, then he's just spending money, not investing it. They will all be fine.

[BitterApple]

I think bringing an infant to Nepal is foolish but I can understand why Jill would want some distance. Josh and his family will be moving back to Arkansas and I think it's too painful for Jill to act like this never happened and go on as one big happy family. I do think she's forgiven her brother but I also think the public scandal reopened a very deep wound.

[yogi2014L]

I have mixed feelings on the Nepal. I would support it if it wasn't a disaster area right now- disease, unstable communities ect aren't really a place for an infant. 

All those issues aside- They both have a calling for missions, I think they absolutely need some distance from her family ( especially NOW!) and it might slow their roll on the baby making- so I would support them going to a 3rd world country that wasn't just leveled by an Earthquake and is a little bit more stable (* then I guess whats the point, and Derrick has strong ties to Nepal)

 

Run Jill run! 

 

When I heard that was the news- my immediate thought was she BETTER NOT GET PREGNANT and give birth over there. She could easily have things go south. I really hope they practice common sense here. With her history of birthing complications, giving birth in Nepal could very well be a death sentence. 

 

EDIT: ALSO- I would watch the shit out of a show following Jill and Derrick doing mission work. That would be interesting. 

 

One more thing: Jills tears broke my heart, and so did Jessa's coldness. They handle things differently. Jessa seems to have disassociated with it ( which might not necessarily be a bad thing) and just wants this to go away. I get that. 

Edited June 5, 2015 by yogi2014L

[JenCarroll]

Jill has a lot of work to do if she doesn't want to become Michelle 2.  Otherwise she's going to stay that early teen girl the rest of her life.  I think she stands a horrible chance of having arrested development at an even earlier age than Michelle if she doesn't get some help from Derick's family, real church family, or professional help.

But she does want to be Michelle 2. I don't think she's even close to being able to see that life for what it is. She wants her husband at home, and to be indulged and pampered and praised (and filmed and paid) for getting pregnant while other people raise her children. I realize there are serious flaws in this life plan, but I don't think Jill realizes that.

[Marigold]

Jill, Derick and Iz in Nepal with TLC cameras.  They were planning on funding the trip with TLC money.  

Just my guess. 

[doodlebug]

Yep. Blame the media or the legal system that released the documents instead of the parents who didn't protect you.

Or the chickenshit pig of a brother who has disappeared from sight leaving your life in shambles and forcing you to step forward and defend his molesting a** to try to save your lifestyle.

[doodlebug]

I remember watching an interview with Jaycee Dugard and she said the community in which she lives now is fiercely protective of her and her daughters' privacy and residents don't speak to reporters. I can imagine the same would be true for Jill. Townspeople might see Boob, Michelle and Josh as fair game, but they would have to be pretty effed up to sell out a sexual abuse victim to the paparazzi.

I live in Cleveland.  One of the Cleveland kidnap victims lives near me, her kid (born while she was captive, fathered by her rapist) goes to a local school with the kids of friends of mine.  Nobody would ever tell anyone how or where to find either one of them. Nobody bothers them as they live their everyday lives as best they can.  I suspect that there are more than a few members of the local media who know exactly where they live, too, and, still, it's not out there online or anywhere public.  Most people are decent human beings and have far too much self respect to invade the privacy of folks who've already suffered so much.  I agree, the Duggar girls could easily leave the compound and find themselves living very private lives under the protection of their community.  Josh, on the other hand, should expect torches and pitchforks if he ever tries to 'blend in'.

[BitterApple]

Doodlebug, I'm happy to hear that about the Cleveland victim. I felt horribly for Jill when this broke because people were leaving some seriously nasty comments on her social media. However it's easy to be a bully behind a computer screen. If anyone tried to confront her when she was out and about I think they'd get shut down pretty quickly.

[CofCinci]

I wonder if they have a friend who will travel with them as their camera person?

[GEML]

I'm guessing the trip was funded by TLC, too. I'd be pretty upset if not only my dream job was upended by the person who had probably wrecked my childhood and quite possibly made my family go off the deep end even by Gothard rules was going to be back living near me.

[Jusagirlintheworld]

I'm guessing the trip was funded by TLC, too. I'd be pretty upset if not only my dream job was upended by the person who had probably wrecked my childhood and quite possibly made my family go off the deep end even by Gothard rules was going to be back living near me.

Do you think she perceives Josh as responsible? Or the media? I guess we will see in the interview tonight.

Edited June 5, 2015 by Jusagirlintheworld

[lottiedottie]

I live in Cleveland.  One of the Cleveland kidnap victims lives near me, her kid (born while she was captive, fathered by her rapist) goes to a local school with the kids of friends of mine.  Nobody would ever tell anyone how or where to find either one of them. Nobody bothers them as they live their everyday lives as best they can.  I suspect that there are more than a few members of the local media who know exactly where they live, too, and, still, it's not out there online or anywhere public.  Most people are decent human beings and have far too much self respect to invade the privacy of folks who've already suffered so much.  I agree, the Duggar girls could easily leave the compound and find themselves living very private lives under the protection of their community.  Josh, on the other hand, should expect torches and pitchforks if he ever tries to 'blend in'.

Hi fellow Clevelander! Not to get too off topic, but this was by design (the Cleveland kidnapping victim and no one knowing where she lives). I listened to an interview her lawyer gave on the Sound of Ideas not too long ago and he talked about that. I'm glad for her and hope her neighbors continue to protect her privacy.

 

I'd love to know what Derick thinks about this whole thing. I really don't think he subscribes to the idea that women are responsible for the actions of men. I wonder what Cathy's husband thinks. We all suspect he didn't care for the circus before, so he must certainly be giving the Duggars the side-eye now.

[TaxNerd]

I didn't watch either of the wedding specials because I hate weddings, but did either Jill or Jessa include leaving the number of kids up to God as part of their vows like Josh did? Just curious.

I also don't see any reason why Jill and Derek couldn't move to Nepal if they actually wanted to. Neither Josh nor whoever released the report could stop them if they actually wanted to go, but they need to do the work.

If they want TLC to pay for it, state "We want to do mission work with X organization in Y country for Z amount of time, and film our experience to share with the public. Please write TLC to support our creating a show!" If TLC passes, they could shop the concept. If no takers, start a Go Fund Me to raise the funds to go, with or without a crew, whatever they want. She doesn't HAVE to trot out about being a survivor or anything else.

Jill has more freedom now than before the scandal to create her own future. She would do well with getting out from under her parents' control. If she and Derek want to do nothing but live a simple life and raise lots of babies, they certainly have the tools to do so.

[Cherrio]

As another Clevelander, I wish the Duggar children and young adults had a community like that , that would help in all ways and be fiercely protective.

               I don't see a good outcome unless they all make a permanent break from the parents and move away.

And staying on television in any way shape or form is not going to help.   They all need to learn some real skills and get real jobs.    

[What In The]

Also, it wouldn't suprise me if Michelle is being hideous to Jill right now and blaming her for the gravy train ending.

[What In The]

If I were Jill, I would move out of the mansion, get a protective order on JimmBoob, Mullet, and Josh if possible, and tell them all to blow it out their diddy bags

[Jellybeans]

If I were Jill, I would move out of the mansion, get a protective order on JimmBoob, Mullet, and Josh if possible, and tell them all to blow it out their diddy bags

That's the thing. None of us are Jill, Jessa or Josh for that matter. We only know what we're told. And if it comes out of Jill's and Jessa's mouth, it has to be respected IMO.

Edited June 5, 2015 by Jellybeans

[Wellfleet]

If they want TLC to pay for it, state "We want to do mission work with X organization in Y country for Z amount of time, and film our experience to share with the public. Please write TLC to support our creating a show!" If TLC passes, they could shop the concept. If no takers, start a Go Fund Me to raise the funds to go, with or without a crew, whatever they want. She doesn't HAVE to trot out about being a survivor or anything else.

 

100% agree. if this scenario is what Jill and Derick actually want, this would be the way to handle it. Instead of coming forward on TV crying as a survivor of her brother's abuse. But Boob doesn't have the savvy needed to think of this himself. Again, the isolation he had mandated for himself and the family has come back to bite him in the bee-hind. There's no one in "his world" capable of thinking of this very reasonable option, and he doesn't trust anyone whose not part of his world. The stupid just goes on and on with the Duggars. They could serve as poster-children for public school education in the US - "Don't let this happen to your kids..." Children need to learn how to live in the real world, especially if they're going to rely on it for their living... 

[Jellybeans]

I thought I heard they were assigned a mission?

[silverspoons]

Jill and Jessa and saying Josh was a normal curious boy in puberty. I would like Jill a married mother of a son to tell us what she is going to do different raising her child? Will she use the same "safeguards"? Will she have Derick give their son some actual sex education?

[Wellfleet]

Jill has a lot of work to do if she doesn't want to become Michelle 2.  Otherwise she's going to stay that early teen girl the rest of her life.  I think she stands a horrible chance of having arrested development at an even earlier age than Michelle if she doesn't get some help from Derick's family, real church family, or professional help.  

 

I believe there already are clear-cut indications of arrested development with all the Duggar children. Frankly I don't know how it could have been avoided, considering how they were raised, and by whom.

[Wellfleet]

The house at the 1.1 million price came with a large amount of land. That is now separate from what Jill and Derick are living in.

Jim Bob is worth plenty. If he can't invest and manage what he already has to give his family a middle class lifestyle in one of the least expensive areas in the country, then he's just spending money, not investing it. They will all be fine.

 

Which, to me, makes his flailing attempts to cling to the TLC show even worse. He's parading the victims - his own daughters - on TV to drum up sympathy for keeping the show. And, incidentally, a nice healthy paycheck for already-wealthy Boob.

[BitterApple]

I believe there already are clear-cut indications of arrested development with all the Duggar children. Frankly I don't know how it could have been avoided, considering how they were raised, and by whom.

I was going to say, I think that ship sailed a long time ago. Jackson is 11 and acts 5, Jana is 25 and can't stand up for herself, Josh is a 27 year old man-child who needed Mommy and Daddy to defend his honor and Jill is 23 and still using "like" and "totally" as though she were in middle school.

[Missy Vixen]

IIRC he spent something like $100k, and asked something like 1.1mil. A pipe dream of course, but a hundred grand will look good to Jim Bob in a few months. I'm sure it has the same build quality as the TTH, pre-TLC.

If that's what he spent $100K on, he wasted his money. Instead of getting tradespeople who would turn the place into something to lure buyers, if the interior shots we saw earlier in the season are any indicator, he and his kids did the "work".

 

Someone who's spending a million dollars for a house will expect modern interior design and a little more than the (most likely) $2 per yard carpeting they bought.

[Missy Vixen]

I believe there already are clear-cut indications of arrested development with all the Duggar children. Frankly I don't know how it could have been avoided, considering how they were raised, and by whom.

I can't imagine how these kids get through a day. Seriously. They have little education, they have no knowledge of the modern world, they've been all over the world on TLC's dime but (seemingly) did NO research or study on what they were going to see beforehand to enrich their experiences because they're not allowed to use the uncensored Internet, for starters.

 

I also wonder how many times a day derickdillard gets to explain something that is commonplace to anyone born after 1980 and who graduated from public school to his bride.

[Missy Vixen]

 Josh, on the other hand, should expect torches and pitchforks if he ever tries to 'blend in'.

I wonder if a double-wide or manufactured home will show up on the compound for Josh in the next month or so.

 

It's not safe for Anna and the kids to live in the house they previously bought even if the remodeling has been finished.

[Wellfleet]

Do you think she perceives Josh as responsible? Or the media? I guess we will see in the interview tonight.

 

I think no matter who Jill holds responsible in her heart, it's the media, local officials, the person who leaked the report etc who will get the blame tonight. Because that's what Momma and Daddy have ground into her is necessary to save the show and the Duggar reputation. While it might save the show, because the non-viewing public will not realize how brainwashed these children have been, I think the reputation ship officially sailed two weeks ago.

[NikSac]

I was going to say, I think that ship sailed a long time ago. Jackson is 11 and acts 5, Jana is 25 and can't stand up for herself, Josh is a 27 year old man-child who needed Mommy and Daddy to defend his honor and Jill is 23 and still using "like" and "totally" as though she were in middle school.

 

To be fair, I couldn't, like, believe, like, how often JB like said "like" in his interview. It's no wonder she speaks the way she does, and I'm not sure it's an age thing. I didn't even notice how bad it was until I tried to transcribe a few portions of it to post here.

[Missy Vixen]

Because that's what Momma and Daddy have ground into her is necessary to save the show and the Duggar reputation. While it might save the show, because the non-viewing public will not realize how brainwashed these children have been, I think the reputation ship officially sailed two weeks ago.

Wellfleet, imagine being told it is your responsibility to save the family's future income. On top of all the other crap her parents have been saddling her with since she was a baby. On top of the past year, which has featured enough stress to be debilitating WITHOUT the past two weeks.

 

My opinion, of course, but Jessa Blessa's anger might be the thing that helps her get through this. I can't believe she volunteered for this, either, because I have felt for a long time now that she is a gigantic thorn in Jim Boob's side.

[wanderwoman]

Jill and Jessa and saying Josh was a normal curious boy in puberty. I would like Jill a married mother of a son to tell us what she is going to do different raising her child? Will she use the same "safeguards"? Will she have Derick give their son some actual sex education?

Exactly. If it was so "normal", then why did he need to be sent away? If that's what they think "normal" pubescent behavior is, then protective services needs to get in their STAT. Boys absolutely go through a curious phase (as do girls). And, you could argue that Josh wasn't going to find a playboy around the compound. But, even a curious, sheltered young man will generally avoid groping his sisters! And, a five year old child isn't sexually attractive in any way to work normal 15 year old. Hell! A five year old doesn't even have breasts! It's not, in any way, "normal" for a teenage boy to satiate his curiosity by admiring or touching a child that's barely out of diapers.

[mbutterfly]

Do you think she perceives Josh as responsible? Or the media? I guess we will see in the interview tonight.

I can't help but believe her inner self has always blamed Josh for what was done. At this point she might feelm ore comfortable transferring that to the media, however. But she really isn't stupid. She's known from the beginning what happened. 

Edited June 6, 2015 by mbutterfly

[wanderwoman]

I think no matter who Jill holds responsible in her heart, it's the media, local officials, the person who leaked the report etc who will get the blame tonight. Because that's what Momma and Daddy have ground into her is necessary to save the show and the Duggar reputation. While it might save the show, because the non-viewing public will not realize how brainwashed these children have been, I think the reputation ship officially sailed two weeks ago.

Not to mention, in their minds, the status quo would've been unaffected and they would've never needed to deal with this repercussions of their parents choices had that pesky media that they court so fiercely would've never held them (momma and daddy) ac-count-a-ble (let's repeat it, kids!) for their bad parenting.

[frenchtoast]

Folks, a quick reminder, please don't live chat the interview in this topic. Wait until the interview is over and post in the Part 2 topic. Thanks!

[Quilt Fairy]

I definitely agree that there might be some fairly major obstacles, but just the fact that they are thinking about getting out of their creeepy family circle is really encouraging. 

 

A thought I had:  In general, the attitude in Asia towards birth control is MUCH more pragmatic (I know in China and Singapore you can buy the pill off the shelf, next to the strepsils!)  It's not as ideologically-charged as it sounds like it is in Arkansas.  So even if Jill was thinking about maybe considering talking to someone to learn how to imagine herself possibly wanting to think about some form of family planning, there's going to be lot less guilt-inducing scaremongering, and a lot more pragmatism.  MAYBE she won't have 40 billion children? 

Frankly, considering who we're discussing, I would be more concerned that she would try to convince local women that they should avoid birth control rather than her using it herself.

 

I have a classmate from college doing missionary and now rebuilding work in Nepal. His family is currently living in New Delhi in a comfortable lifestyle while he does the hard work. They'll join him on long weekends to help, but it's too hard currently to live in Nepal. There's just too few basic services after the earthquake. His family did live in Nepal before, but had moved out prior to the earthquakes. His kids are elementary age.

I could see Jill doing something similar, especially if she took a sister with them.

If Derrick has a scheduled start and stop date, Walmart could grant him a personal leave of absence. But accounting jobs are a dime a dozen, especially around tax time. I bet Derrick just quits on the belief he'll find something else later if he really wants.

It seems to me that Walmart has been pretty understanding so far, but I can't see them granting a long personal leave to someone who's only been working there for a year.  In the companies I worked for (both large and well-known) you'd barely be out of your probationary period and nervous about taking a sick day. And being associated with the Duggars doesn't have the attraction it had even a month ago.

 

I confess I have not kept up with the situation in Nepal, but the last thing I remember reading was that aid workers were stuck at the airport and couldn't get out to where they were needed because of the devastation, breakdown of infrastructure and general chaos. Has it changed much?

[cmr2014]

I remember Derick making a comment a month or two ago about how Jill "ate in the bathroom" when they were first married. I thought it was weird, but it sounded like he meant it as light-hearted and teasing and Jill made some statement about "with all those siblings around!"

 

I come from a large family and never had to eat in the bathroom to keep my siblings from stealing my food, and I don't know anyone else who did, either. I did know one girl in college (who had an eating disorder) who at in the bathroom, but I don't think that's normal behavior.

 

I mention this not because I think there is a direct cause and effect relationship between childhood sexual abuse and eating in the bathroom, but because I think that there is a lot that is just "off" about that household. I hope that what we have learned is the worst of it, but I certainly wouldn't be surprised if there was a lot more we don't know about. I think that there is a lot that goes on in that house that isn't just "with xx kids, we do things just a little bit differently."

[Marigny]

Also, it wouldn't suprise me if Michelle is being hideous to Jill right now and blaming her for the gravy train ending.

 

I think this, also. 

[BitterApple]

Frankly, considering who we're discussing, I would be more concerned that she would try to convince local women that they should avoid birth control rather than her using it herself.

It seems to me that Walmart has been pretty understanding so far, but I can't see them granting a long personal leave to someone who's only been working there for a year. In the companies I worked for (both large and well-known) you'd barely be out of your probationary period and nervous about taking a sick day

I agree. Derick is an entry level accountant, not the VP of Marketing. Any college grad with new diploma in hand can step in and fill his position. I'm from the Northeast where everyone is very competitive ad career driven so it's hard for me to understand Derick's seemingly lackadaisical attitude towards employment. I know people who are afraid to use vacation time out of fear their heads will be first on the chopping block if the economy tanks again. Maybe I should move to Arkansas, lol. Edited June 6, 2015 by BitterApple

[Sunnybobs]

Well Jill & Derrick are dipping their toes into Instagram again to post 2 month old pictures of Izzy (looking v cute)

[Mariva]

Jill came out of her intentional or unintentional silence from social media to post an update on Izzy's 2 month birthday. https://instagram.com/p/3mavEWrszF/

What a big cutie! I think it's nice to finally see a smile from him so people can stop commenting on how "miserable" he looked in his early photos. Is that a cloth diaper he's wearing?

[CofCinci]

Have fun cloth diapering in Nepal.

[photo fox]

I think it's just really weird shorts.

Would they even have ready access to disposable diapers in Nepal? (Seriously asking.) Cloth might be the only choice.

[humbleopinion]

People in Nepal are already in misery trying to recover and rebuild from the earthquakes.

They don't need any bad Duggar mojo.

Give those suffering people a break.

[Fuzzysox]

He is getting his personality on finally!

I think that is a diaper cover.

[Jellybeans]

Cute baby!

[wanderwoman]

Well, and we all know that the best place for any infant is a third world country that's trying to re-establish basic hygiene and emergency services for its own people. I mean, seems like a perfect place for a newborn to me. ::very big eye roll::

[CofCinci]

It's hysterical at Jill is "all in" with the college mascot given that she thinks educated women are the devil.

[Quilt Fairy]

Why would you have a t-shirt that says '2 months'? So come July they put it away and save it for the next baby?

 

I thought (to myself, because even I wouldn't say it out loud) that he was actually an ugly baby with a huge honking nose when they had the first pictures up. But this guy? Yeah, he's a cutie.