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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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In Jill's world, authority over her has been passed from JimBoob to Derick, a public school college grad who grew up in a religious but not strict fundamentalist home. Perhaps having grown up with only one sibling and a college-educated mother, some of his upbringing will have rubbed off and he won't be interested in keeping Jill perpetually pregnant and coming home at night to an ever increasing houseful of howlers. One can hope anyway!

  • Love 7

Seems like it will be very easy for Jill to snag Derick over into the Gothard cult.

1. He obviously adores her. She is his beloved and has been indoctrinated to truly believe that birth control is a grevious sin. He isn't going to want to hurt her feelings our put a stumbling block before her so I can't see him forcing her to use BC.

2. The Duggars are pulling Derick away from his cancer fighting mom and one brother and trying to "love rush" him into Gothardville-Duggarland rather than allowing Jill to actually leave and cleave. He is a young man who lost his dad, has a very ill mother and only one sibling. The Duggars are going to have a far greater influence on him than he will on them.

  • Love 2
(edited)

Just what every new bride wants to do on her honeymoon - go grocery shopping and cook for a week. To each his own, I suppose.

 

As I'm someone who likes to cook, I wonder if she might actually find out she enjoys cooking when she's got options other than tater tots and canned soup for 20+ people. It's probably too soon, but you never know, might be fun for her to try out new cooking ideas.

Edited by NikSac
  • Love 1

I was just thinking that if (god forbid) the worst happens and Derick's mother passes away, I'm sure Jill will be an amazing compassionate and loving wife, and really support the Dillards with her whole heart.  The rest of the Dugger family, on the other hand, will find some way to make it all about them.  I'm just imagining them at a funeral "Oh hey, I'm sorry you're grieving and in tears but I can't give you a proper hug because then you'll want to have sex with me.  Did you know we have 19 kids?"

  • Love 5
The rest of the Dugger family, on the other hand, will find some way to make it all about them. I'm just imagining them at a funeral "Oh hey, I'm sorry you're grieving and in tears but I can't give you a proper hug because then you'll want to have sex with me. Did you know we have 19 kids?"

 

 

 You know Michelle will bring up how much she's suffered. After all she lost Jubilee. 

  • Love 1

Seems like it will be very easy for Jill to snag Derick over into the Gothard cult.

1. He obviously adores her. She is his beloved and has been indoctrinated to truly believe that birth control is a grevious sin. He isn't going to want to hurt her feelings our put a stumbling block before her so I can't see him forcing her to use BC.

2. The Duggars are pulling Derick away from his cancer fighting mom and one brother and trying to "love rush" him into Gothardville-Duggarland rather than allowing Jill to actually leave and cleave. He is a young man who lost his dad, has a very ill mother and only one sibling. The Duggars are going to have a far greater influence on him than he will on them.

 

I find it unlikely Derrick will go toward the Duggar's religious ideals. In my experience, the man in a relationship almost never changes his religious beliefs to suit his wife/significant other. It's very common for the wife/significant other to change hers, though. 

 

I can't see Derrick giving up TV, public school for his kids, and time with Jill to get on the crazy train. He didn't seem all that enthusiastic about the courtship process and went along with it for Jill's sake. I also took note that Derrick said nothing about being happy about saving his first kiss for his wedding like Jill did (most likely because he's already kissed a few girls before Jill). He, like the rest of us, probably thought it was ridiculous he couldn't kiss his gf/fiancee or be alone with her before they were wed. I just pray he sees this madness and doesn't force his kids into it. 

  • Love 9

 

He didn't seem all that enthusiastic about the courtship process and went along with it for Jill's sake.

Agreed. Also, when he and his mom were walking off the plane, she said, "I'll be so glad when you two can just talk."  Was that a reference to the fact that Jill was allowed to only text, not talk, so Boob and Michelle could monitor her conversations?  Now that I think about it, though, it probably wasn't possible for them to talk on the phone while he was in Nepal ... but I definitely got the "this is nuts" vibe from his mom. I have no doubt that her conservative Christian values are in line with those of the Duggars, but clearly, she's much more mainstream, which makes me happy.

 

I so hope she's able to beat her illness ... I keep thinking back to her line about wanting to spoil Jill, and I hope she's able to do that. I wonder if she was diagnosed only recently, or has been ill for a long time. My guess is the former, as I can't see Derick having gone to Nepal knowing his mom was seriously ill.

 

I must be going soft, but I really, really like Jill and Derick, and I'm hoping he can help her understand that the Duggar way is not the only way.

  • Love 4

I don't think Derick wants a ginormous family. The few times I saw him with the younger Duggars I got an annoyed vibe, like he really didn't enjoy all the kids crowding and hanging on to him.

I've always found it creepy the way the younger ones attach themselves indiscriminately at complete strangers. Derick looked totally freaked out when Josie threw herself at him at the airport.

  • Love 5

I can see a tug of war in the making. JimBoob and Mullet determined to keep tabs on Jill and move Derick closer toward the cult by providing the couple a house and keeping them close. Derick, on the other hand, has had a lifetime of exposure to the real world and probably isn't anxious to have his kids live in the Duggar bubble. I definitely got the vibe from his mother that she isn't fond of Duggardom, and I'm confident she and her son had some very frank off camera discussions about how he would proceed in his marriage to Jill. How this all plays out remains to be seen.

  • Love 8

I agree this will be interesting to see.  Jill always seemed to be the most vocal about and defending their lifestyle.   While Derrick had a more mainstream upbringing and his mom does not appear to be on the Duggar-train, who's to say that he was not only enraptured by Jill but also by the Duggars lifestyle and beliefs?  JimBob was his remote prayer partner, God only knows what kinds of brainwashing took place during those sessions.  Derrick is a fairly quite guy, I think we're hoping and assuming things will go differently, but only time will tell!

  • Love 1

 

I've always found it creepy the way the younger ones attach themselves indiscriminately at complete strangers. Derick looked totally freaked out when Josie threw herself at him at the airport.

 

That's a pretty classic indiscriminate attachment issue. The kids never learned that their Mom and Dad will take care of their needs. So they go to anyone in hope that a need (including attention) is fulfilled. 

  • Love 5

I also took note that Derrick said nothing about being happy about saving his first kiss for his wedding like Jill did (most likely because he's already kissed a few girls before Jill). He, like the rest of us, probably thought it was ridiculous he couldn't kiss his gf/fiancee or be alone with her before they were wed. I just pray he sees this madness and doesn't force his kids into it. 

He definitely didn't seem into the whole courting process. I think he enjoyed getting to know Jill and was willing to deal with Jim Bob's terms, but I have no doubt that had Jill initiated more mature contact between the two, he would have happily obliged.

 

I really hope these two aren't in for a huge reality check as far as their personalities are concerned since they've never had one on one time together. I'm curious how they'll handle their first real disagreement.

I can see a tug of war in the making. JimBoob and Mullet determined to keep tabs on Jill and move Derick closer toward the cult by providing the couple a house and keeping them close. Derick, on the other hand, has had a lifetime of exposure to the real world and probably isn't anxious to have his kids live in the Duggar bubble. I definitely got the vibe from his mother that she isn't fond of Duggardom, and I'm confident she and her son had some very frank off camera discussions about how he would proceed in his marriage to Jill. How this all plays out remains to be seen.

 

To be a fly on the wall for THAT conversation...

  • Love 4

Even if Derrick wasn't into the courting process. He had no choice. The girls aren't allowed to date.  If he thinks that he'll be able to  raise he and Jill's kids non-Fundie, he's sadly mistaken. Maybe they'll be looser like the 3 M's, but they'll still be Fundie.


Fundie weddings must be free for alls. There's no way they know 1,000 people. 

I feel like JB and Michelle will try to "take over" as far as the couple is concerned. They already don't have "control" over Derick since he is a college grad, works for a regular company rather than in a business etc. Living on their property is a way of controlling them just a bit. I hope they live there and Derick treats it like any other living situation -- i.e. if they want to go away for a weekend or go on vacation or visit his mom or invite friends to visit, I hope they do just like any other newlywed couple. I think JB and Michelle will try to "separate" him a bit from his family -- they are large and overpowering in numbers, while he only has his mom who is ill and his brother. Somehow I don't see that happening though. Jill is in love with him and if he expresses to her that they really can't spend all their free time at the Duggars watching her bros/sisters being unruly because his mom is sick and he is worried, I can see her understanding that and spending time with him and his mom even if it cuts away from family church or whatever.

 

Unlike Chad, I don't see Derick wanting the unruly siblings to sleep over -- maybe it's because the Bates kids seem more well mannered than the Duggars, but I don't see him starting the "we'll take a few siblings every weekend" thing. I do see Jana, Jinger, Joy, Jessa hanging out there though -- but that would be more on a friend level and frankly good for them to see what a "normal" conservative man can be like.

  • Love 4

Jill wasn't able to ask him that questions about kissing other girls because all their conversations were monitored.  Just one of MANY things they were never able to discuss pre-marriage.  The house JB is letting them use is huge at nearly 4,000sq ft.  It's a home he bought very cheaply and refurbished.  From numerous previously seen photos it looks like they've already set up housekeeping there with furniture and everything and have hosted  at least one Duggar gathering.  Of course, they weren't actually living there but I got the impression that, along with the ever-present chaperone (s) they spent quite a bit of time there before the wedding.

How is she giving interviews about the first kiss -- shouldn't she still be on her honeymoon? People also has a new article though that's different because there are no quotes -- they're just releasing info a bit at a time to build up interest in their magazine article that'll be coming this week or next.

 

Jill said the first time they spoke she had PAGES of questions to ask him. Some of them had to be of a personal nature as she was looking to see if he was the one. Maybe she didn't ask about kissing because she really didn't want to know but I imagine she did ask if he was a virgin. As for kissing -- Jill and family are fooling themselves if they think he's never had girlfriends or kissed; he may not have gone further but he has the same background as Amy -- religious and saved but still dating.

"He's a great kisser," Duggar told E! News. "All his trumpet playing paid off!"

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/jill-duggar-husband-derick-dillard-great-kisser-article-1.1843498#ixzz35h5p9S00

 

Trumpet playing. Yep, that's exactly like kissing. Not.

How would she possibly know the difference between a good or bad kiss? Any kiss would probably make her weak in the knees, given her lack of experience. RE: trumpet playing, maybe that gave him strong lips?

  • Love 2

It would be great if Derick can become a de facto patriarch/big brother/mentor in the next few years. The boys would benefit a lot from having someone to go to for talking about education, possible careers etc. -- maybe JB and Michelle won't see college as as much of a threat anymore now that they have a son in law who went; it would be great if having Derick on his side can let Josiah convince JB that he should take some business classes at the community college or for the twins/younger boys to be able to convince them to go study science etc. Their HS education is lacking so I'm not sure that they could jump right to college, but these are kids who could benefit from even a little formal classwork. As for the girls, I'm not sure the Duggars are about to revolutionize their thinking but having Derick around may at least show them what a "normal" albeit conservative marriage looks like -- you can go to church but still work, wear pants, have friends, have thoughts/opinions, and not be controlled by your husband nor have to bear a kid per year. These aren't things that the Duggar girls have really seen in practice.

  • Love 1
You know Michelle will bring up how much she's suffered. After all she lost Jubilee.

 

 

Exactly what I was going to post.  Every sentence of condolence would begin with, "You know, when we lost Jubilee . . . "  Ugh.

 

I'm guessing the "kissing" quote was given on the day of the wedding and People is just doling out the information slowly, as someone said above, to promote rollout of the new edition.

How would she possibly know the difference between a good or bad kiss? Any kiss would probably make her weak in the knees, given her lack of experience. RE: trumpet playing, maybe that gave him strong lips?

 

 

After twenty-three years of waiting, I'm sure my dog would seem like a good kisser too.

 

When will these people get that talking about the quality of kissing and your sex life is not modest?

  • Love 8
(edited)

It's going to be an interesting first year for Jill and Derek.  Hope they figure out how to effectively discuss something on their own.... without Jill constantly phoning home to ensure Pops is on board.   How is Jill going to be able to handle Derick doing any of the following -   actually enjoying wasting time in front of the TV,  or going to ball games with his friends (that's called a hobby, Pops), speaking to young women that he is actually friends with, maybe going out to lunch with a mixed gender group of friends at work, having a Mom that wears pants, having a Mom that goes places without an accountability partner, and so forth?  How is Derick going to be able to handle Jill constantly asking his permission to go to the store, pick an outfit, meet a friend for lunch, etc, etc.  How is Derick going  to handle 20 Duggars underfoot any night of the week, all weekend, in-laws that complain when he can't take time off from work to go on tour, and so forth?. Do you think Jim Bob will pressure Derick to quit his job and go to work in Duggarland?

 

Wonder what Jill said when she found out Derick sleeps in either his underwear, nude or in pajama pants?  Wonder what Derick said when she came to bed in a polo shirt and denim skirt? Wonder what they said when he took a shower every day and she didn't.

 

The first year is hard when you come from similar backgrounds.  This will be difficult for them,.

Edited by mythoughtis
  • Love 10
(edited)

Derick wasn't in a social frat, only an academic (accounting) frat. Also, he joined the Baptist organization on campus. Seems that his stint as Pistol Pete was his wildest college experience.

I agree that they are in for a difficult adjustment period. He went to public school where he met people from many backgrounds, earned a college degree, had no problem with Halloween (as evidenced by pic of him and his dad carving pumpkins), and lived on his own in Nepal. She is the sheltered, homeschooled daughter of extreme fundies who've made her cover up, limited her contact with outsiders, put her in charge of raising several siblings, and basically controlled her from birth to adulthood. Only after saying "I Do" are they now able to enjoy some privacy and really get to know each other. I'll bet there have been plenty of surprises already.

Polo shirt and denim skirt to bed? Maybe Mullet included a floor length flannel nightgown in her bridal packet. I can't imagine Jill feeling comfortable in anything any more revealing.

Edited by Hpmec
(edited)

I wonder of Jill will go have a pap smear and learn how to do monthly breast exam. Girls who do not kiss or have sex until they get married can end up with certain problems or cancer just like us heathens can. Maybe she can get one of her sisters to be her buddy at the ob/gyn office so she does not defraud a male doctor.

 

On the subject of kissing, I do remember the girls saying they look at Mr. and Mrs. Smuggly do Rite, and momsie and popsie about how to kiss. They actually thought Smugs and daddy are good kissers. Those poor, naïve, sheltered girls. They would be better off watching animals mate to get pointers on being intimate with the opposite sex.

Edited by bigskygirl

Here is a link to the dress before alterations. I read somewhere that it was Allure, which led me to their modest section. I found this on Saturday, pretty confident it was hers, with a couple alterations. Those alterations were confirmed in the article, and the location sells Allure. Bingo!

 

http://www.allurebridals.com/products/m504

 

As for the shop, you know that TLC contacted all the shops within a 50 mile radius of Smuggar once they had confirmation that Jill wanted an Allure dress. This particular shop is sort of out of the way, but I guess it was the one that wanted the publicity most. There are a slough of shops that sell Allure much closer to Smuganna's place. At any rate, the $500 fee was comped in a nice quid pro quo for the show; the fact a Duggar girl shopped there will bring in lots of $500 fees in the future.

I respectfully disagree that the dress you linked, Sewsumi (love the name), is Jill's.  That dress is already plenty modest and has a higher neckline, plus cap sleeves.  The article says they added more fabric to the neckline and added cap sleeves, which that dress already has.  If anything, the dress linked would have to have parts of the sleeve removed to make the sleeves as short as the ones on Jill's dress.

 

Before you posted that link, I actually thought this dress might have been Jill's, once cap sleeves and a higher neckline were added.

 

http://www.allurebridals.com/products/2569

  • Love 2

What does it matter?

To me, it shows how disingenuous that article is. It also includes a supposed comment from Derek stating "I thought about it and decided to dip her." Yeah, right. The photographer posed you that way! 

 

I've heard about trumpet-playing lips being useful for sex, just not for kissing on the lips . . . . .:)

  • Love 2

The Jill doesn't take regular showers?

 

It's been said that the Duggars used to bathe their children in order from the cleanest to the dirtiest in the same water.  I expect that they would change it after a few baths, but not a clean tub for each of the 19.  Also, with 19 children, often traveling in that camper, I really do not think that they all get a bath or shower every day.

(edited)

I respectfully disagree that the dress you linked, Sewsumi (love the name), is Jill's.  That dress is already plenty modest and has a higher neckline, plus cap sleeves.  The article says they added more fabric to the neckline and added cap sleeves, which that dress already has.  If anything, the dress linked would have to have parts of the sleeve removed to make the sleeves as short as the ones on Jill's dress.

 

Before you posted that link, I actually thought this dress might have been Jill's, once cap sleeves and a higher neckline were added.

 

http://www.allurebridals.com/products/2569

I must concede. I just saw the latest "leak" from People which states that the dress was an Allure Romance gown, formerly strapless. But I don't see #2569 in that section (it's under the A-line dresses). That could be People's fault, making it harder to find the gown. All the Romance dresses are numbered 27__. At any rate, you found it.

 

http://www.people.com/article/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-wedding-exclusive-details

 

Also from the article:

 

"And it was sealed with the bride's very first kiss."

 

The wording in prior articles has been very careful to say it was "the couple's" first kiss, leaving that possibility that Derick wasn't a lip virgin. I guess this confirms it. Ooooooh!!!!!!!

 

Looks like we'll see more pics (hopefully of the bridesmaids' dresses) when People hits newsstands on Friday. I'll check it out in the grocery line. :D

Edited by Sew Sumi

I wonder of Jill will go have a pap smear and learn how to do monthly breast exam. Girls who do not kiss or have sex until they get married can end up with certain problems or cancer just like us heathens can. Maybe she can get one of her sisters to be her buddy at the ob/gyn office so she does not defraud a male doctor.

 .

If both he and she are virgins, she is at virtually 0% risk of cervical cancer .

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