Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Madtown]

5 hours ago, MsJamieDornan said:

How tight do you wear your ponytails ??

I actually had hair a little past the middle of my back. I have pretty thick hair. I didn't wear ponytails that tight, but on some days, my head would be pounding. So I can believe with all the hair Jill had, even a loose bun would probably give her a headache. I also cut 10 inches off on a whim and didn't tell my now husband that I was doing that. He was shocked, but was fine with it. I now where it super short and he doesn't care at all. I couldn't stand spending 20 minutes drying it every morning.

[lascuba]

2 hours ago, Higgins said:

I think she probably gets treated with intolerance from non Christians and is used to it. 

Getting criticism about her religiosity from fellow fundies is going to hit a lot differently.

[BetyBee]

An app like the one Jill is recommending would make me sad. I'd never download it. A countdown to the end of my child's childhood? Yikes!

[Tikichick]

On 12/21/2019 at 7:07 PM, GeeGolly said:

Of the girls, I think Jinger was(is?) the biggest believer and Jill thinks she is the biggest believer but really is a blind follower and Jessa is a mix of both. I think Jana has questioned a lot of things but is still a believer. Joy was said to have had a brief struggle with her faith, but we don't know what the struggle was and knowing the Duggars it could have been anything from wanting to be a preaching mechanic to wondering if God is real.

The theory sounds like it holds some weight, but I wonder if circumstances and timing matter? Like, did they leave prior to marriage? Did they leave the faith with a spouse? 

I could totally see Joy challenging the idea of how she had to dress and what her jurisdictions were being a "struggle with her faith" in the TTH.  I see signs that she and Austin are growing together and he's not bothered by her interest in many tasks usually reserved for the menfolk.

[libgirl2]

37 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

I could totally see Joy challenging the idea of how she had to dress and what her jurisdictions were being a "struggle with her faith" in the TTH.  I see signs that she and Austin are growing together and he's not bothered by her interest in many tasks usually reserved for the menfolk.

I always have thought he likes her because of that. 

[Fig Newton]

As I read through these recent posts, I stopped to think a little.

Jill is making headway (no pun intended) in some ways, and I appreciate that about her. I think she is a fairly simple lady (not in ability or intelligence, but genetics/family life/religion). The picture of her after her hair cut clearly shows a lady who is very PLEASED and HAPPY. She made a very adult choice, one with potential consequences. But what I like about her recently is that she does not seem to "stage" life for social media. She posts a picture with all of its' real life quirks (dirty floor, shit all over the counters, bathroom wedding design etc....). In contrast with Jinger of late, I think this shows extreme growth in Jill. While Jinger is posing, creating, staging, lighting, designing, sourcing photographers, curating the absolute "perfect" scene for a posting...Jill just shows it like it is. No guts, no glory. Jill posts horrific beige food and yukky recipes, while Jinger posts higher end (fake) restaurant and fancy shmancy hotel shots to win the likes. I mean, the fucking posed yeast rolls with the fake expression as IF (AS IF) she worked in the kitchen all day. Puh-lease.  Even the kids postings, Jill - real. Jinger - posed.

I didn't always see it that way, but with some small growth Jill is showing, it shows me just how stunted Jinger really is. From all the fakery from her hair color, her influencing, trying to be hip and relevant, she is falling FLAT.

Tables have turned for me. I am on the JILLY TRAIN.

[Barb23]

13 hours ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

Was just sitting here reading comments & rubbed my head (habit lol), my head tends to get sore spots sometimes. She was talking about wearing her hair up all the time, ponytails.....i can't imagine that, my head would  be sore all the time. 

I didn't wear that many ponytails when I had long hair but did go through a headband stage.  Even then I could only handle the softer stretchy kind and rarely wore the plastic kind because it felt like my head was in a vice after a few hours.  I don't do well with turtlenecks either. That's why I feel for the baby girls having to tolerate those headbands when they have no say in the matter.

1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

An app like the one Jill is recommending would make me sad. I'd never download it. A countdown to the end of my child's childhood? Yikes!

I'm with you. Someone should ask her why she had children if she is already figuring out how long it will be til they're on their own when they are only 2 & 4.  (Except i know they believe that God has control of the number of kids they have & they have nothing to do with it.)

[louannems]

1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

An app like the one Jill is recommending would make me sad. I'd never download it. A countdown to the end of my child's childhood? Yikes!

Most fundies continue producing babies every year or two and the toddler years never end until the mom is in menopause. So an app like this would be pretty useless.  I hope this means Jill is planning on only raising her two sons and sees light at the end of the tunnel.

[Tikichick]

14 minutes ago, Fig Newton said:

As I read through these recent posts, I stopped to think a little.

Jill is making headway (no pun intended) in some ways, and I appreciate that about her. I think she is a fairly simple lady (not in ability or intelligence, but genetics/family life/religion). The picture of her after her hair cut clearly shows a lady who is very PLEASED and HAPPY. She made a very adult choice, one with potential consequences. But what I like about her recently is that she does not seem to "stage" life for social media. She posts a picture with all of its' real life quirks (dirty floor, shit all over the counters, bathroom wedding design etc....). In contrast with Jinger of late, I think this shows extreme growth in Jill. While Jinger is posing, creating, staging, lighting, designing, sourcing photographers, curating the absolute "perfect" scene for a posting...Jill just shows it like it is. No guts, no glory. Jill posts horrific beige food and yukky recipes, while Jinger posts higher end (fake) restaurant and fancy shmancy hotel shots to win the likes. I mean, the fucking posed yeast rolls with the fake expression as IF (AS IF) she worked in the kitchen all day. Puh-lease.  Even the kids postings, Jill - real. Jinger - posed.

I didn't always see it that way, but with some small growth Jill is showing, it shows me just how stunted Jinger really is. From all the fakery from her hair color, her influencing, trying to be hip and relevant, she is falling FLAT.

Tables have turned for me. I am on the JILLY TRAIN.

I think Jill is staging things for SM, as Jill understands it.   She was raised in an ever expanding household mostly maintained by child labor, untrained child labor who didn't have a concept of housekeeping skills or food that strayed far from cans, jars, boxes, tater tots and pickles.    

18 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I always have thought he likes her because of that. 

I think they are a good match and well suited to each other in large part because of it.  I think the ability to participate in things that interest her makes Joy very happy.

[Whyyouneedaname]

8 hours ago, MsJamieDornan said:

How tight do you wear your ponytails ??

Mine is possibly from a pinched nerve, however I can just clip my hair up and my head will be sore. If she put her hair up in a pony tail with that much hair there would be a lot of weight on her head. 

22 minutes ago, louannems said:

Most fundies continue producing babies every year or two and the toddler years never end until the mom is in menopause. So an app like this would be pretty useless.  I hope this means Jill is planning on only raising her two sons and sees light at the end of the tunnel.

& Jill has been raising babies for years already. I'm sure she's ready for a break lol.

[Tikichick]

4 minutes ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

& Jill has been raising babies for years already. I'm sure she's ready for a break lol.

Seems likely that growing up her expectation was that when she was the mom there would be people handling most of the load for her -- a grandmother on standby to do laundry and other chores, along with her own daughters to carry the load as she did growing up.  

[mythoughtis]

16 hours ago, OpieTaylor said:

Jill is suggesting an app from her church’s children’s program, and she mentions that one of its features is telling you how much longer until they’re 18 years old and “on their own. “ She’s counting the days (weeks)!
 

I’m not sure if the whole screen shot will show, but it says Sam is 128 weeks old and 808 weeks until he moves on.

They really just don’t grasp reality when it comes to child rearing.  They continue to live in the past where women had chaperones on dates ans married after their ‘debutante season’, and boys were apprenticed in their teens and out  on their own shortly thereafter.  Unless you are a fundy of  any religion, including  Amish- the USA doesn’t work that way.  Derick wasn’t even on his ‘own’ at 18.   I’m not even sure he’s financially independent of Cathy even now.   It takes a long time for people who aren’t on reality TV or gifted a house to be ‘on their own’. 
 

 

[BetyBee]

I can't wear a headband for long either. I can imagine how Jill's long hair must have pulled her head and neck down. I hope she's enjoying the lighter feeling!

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, Tikichick said:

I think Jill is staging things for SM, as Jill understands it.   She was raised in an ever expanding household mostly maintained by child labor, untrained child labor who didn't have a concept of housekeeping skills or food that strayed far from cans, jars, boxes, tater tots and pickles.    

I think they are a good match and well suited to each other in large part because of it.  I think the ability to participate in things that interest her makes Joy very happy.

I agree that Jill stages things - she is just not very good at it.  She is oblivious to so many things and lacks self-awareness.

I've said this before, but I don't think Jill or Jinger have independently broke away at all.  They each have switched to a different leader.  I see very little in either of them following they own thought out changes or desires.

[Tikichick]

5 minutes ago, Suzn said:

I agree that Jill stages things - she is just not very good at it.  She is oblivious to so many things and lacks self-awareness.

I've said this before, but I don't think Jill or Jinger have independently broke away at all.  They each have switched to a different leader.  I see very little in either of them following they own thought out changes or desires.

The difference being Jinger is seemingly quite satisfied with the direction of her new headship.  Jill seems to be floundering and confused that she "followed all the rules" AND stayed close to home in a place God approves of and things didn't work out the way she expected.  It has to be very confusing that Derrick is at odds with JB and she's not able to kick back the way Michelle has for decades.  And she doesn't seem to have access to the help of some of the kids she spent her youth raising.     

[Suzn]

7 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

The difference being Jinger is seemingly quite satisfied with the direction of her new headship.  Jill seems to be floundering and confused that she "followed all the rules" AND stayed close to home in a place God approves of and things didn't work out the way she expected.  It has to be very confusing that Derrick is at odds with JB and she's not able to kick back the way Michelle has for decades.  And she doesn't seem to have access to the help of some of the kids she spent her youth raising.     

I do agree with "floundering and confused".

[Scarlett45]

47 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

The difference being Jinger is seemingly quite satisfied with the direction of her new headship.  Jill seems to be floundering and confused that she "followed all the rules" AND stayed close to home in a place God approves of and things didn't work out the way she expected.  It has to be very confusing that Derrick is at odds with JB and she's not able to kick back the way Michelle has for decades.  And she doesn't seem to have access to the help of some of the kids she spent her youth raising.     

Yes. Jill absolutely loves her buddies and I wouldn’t be surprised if distance from THEM hurts her more than distance between her and her parents. She was one still called by Joy to comfort her in the hospital which makes me glad. I think that meant a lot to both of them to be near each other. 

[Fostersmom]

On 12/21/2019 at 2:28 PM, lascuba said:

Years ago in the comments of a blog post I can't remember, someone claiming to be a former fundie (but was unfamiliar with the Duggars) said that kid who was the biggest believer and most eager to please was the one who would be most likely to leave, because as soon as something happened to make her question, the whole house of cards comes tumbling down.  The kid(s) who seemed to know that a lot of their beliefs are bullshit are likely to never leave, because they long ago learned to accept the contradictions and it didn't cause them any emotional anguish.  I kind of scoffed at that idead because in this family that biggest believer  was Jill and no way would SHE be the one to ever leave, right? But now? That comment describes Jessa and Jill pretty well.

 

10 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

The difference being Jinger is seemingly quite satisfied with the direction of her new headship.  Jill seems to be floundering and confused that she "followed all the rules" AND stayed close to home in a place God approves of and things didn't work out the way she expected.  It has to be very confusing that Derrick is at odds with JB and she's not able to kick back the way Michelle has for decades.  And she doesn't seem to have access to the help of some of the kids she spent her youth raising.     

I sadly think something went really bad when Sam was born and it made her question all of her beliefs. I'm too lazy to do the research, but I don't think she started wearing pants until after Sam was born, we know the nose piercing didn't happen till after, and now the hair cut (which looks fabulous). Add in Jinger has made changes, maybe even using birth control, and hasn't been stricken down in her path. Plus, and this is a big one, I think deep down she's not happy with Derick, his behavior or attitude, and their life. I would guess motherhood isn't how she was picturing it, especially the lack of sister moms to help, and being apart from Derick hours a day from the start. Jill does strike me as the kind who was certain her life would be just like her parents, the constantly being together, the endless stream of babies, and people tripping over themselves to help her. Here's the thing though, as much as Jim Bob is an idiot, he was a hustler, and did have irons in the fire. Derick, not so much. Even Jill has to know Derick's not really providing for her and the kids and she probably resents it. So, at this point, she's got to be questioning her long held beliefs. She did everything right, everything the godly way her parents taught, but nothing has gone the way she envisioned, dreamed, built up in her head. I think she was questioning things before Sam was born, but in the time since, really started to think about the questions, if that makes sense. Her husband blowing their lifestyle up, a couple of times, seemingly on a whim, can't be helping. I can't see her divorcing Derick at this point, or even demanding changes in their overall life, but I do think we'll continue to see the small changes along the way, the stuff Jill can control. 

[Future Cat Lady]

2 hours ago, Suzn said:

I agree that Jill stages things - she is just not very good at it.  She is oblivious to so many things and lacks self-awareness.

I've said this before, but I don't think Jill or Jinger have independently broke away at all.  They each have switched to a different leader.  I see very little in either of them following they own thought out changes or desires.

True. Jill and Jinger are moving away from Gothardism because they married men who are not Gothard followers. Their husbands are probably the ones who encouraged them to look more mainstream and maybe use birth control/family planning (specially Jeremy). I'm not sure they would've done that with different husbands.

And lets not forget that behind the nicer clothes and hair, they are still conservative Christians with bigoted views.

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, Fostersmom said:

 Jill does strike me as the kind who was certain her life would be just like her parents, the constantly being together, the endless stream of babies, and people tripping over themselves to help her. Here's the thing though, as much as Jim Bob is an idiot, he was a hustler, and did have irons in the fire. Derick, not so much. Even Jill has to know Derick's not really providing for her and the kids and she probably resents it. 

The thing is, until TLC came along, JB wasn't really providing for his family, either.  For most of Jill's childhood, they lived in a tiny home with only 2 or 3 bedrooms, owned by their church and relied on neighbors and friends to provide food for them.  The kids only got second hand clothing from Goodwill or donations, even shoes were bought used. JB is ambitious and a hustler, but he didn't use those skills to support his family.  Even now, it appears he still expects the kids' income from the TV show to provide for the family.

[Suzn]

23 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

True. Jill and Jinger are moving away from Gothardism because they married men who are not Gothard followers. Their husbands are probably the ones who encouraged them to look more mainstream and maybe use birth control/family planning (specially Jeremy). I'm not sure they would've done that with different husbands.

And lets not forget that behind the nicer clothes and hair, they are still conservative Christians with bigoted views.

I never forget that.  For all that they may or may not have changed or broken away, that remains true.  Their husbands may not be Gothard followers, but are every bit as bigoted as the Duggars.  They may give the appearance of being far more liberal than they are, but they are only hiding their true nature.

[Sew Sumi]

A bunch of pics.

 

[BitterApple]

I don't trust this Rachel woman, but I'm happy to see Jill's boys doing normal Christmas activities and socializing with kids not named Duggar.

[wilsie]

I had never heard of Gina Barreca but one of her books is "They Used to Call Me Snow White But I Drifted." 😍

[Sew Sumi]

29 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I don't trust this Rachel woman, but I'm happy to see Jill's boys doing normal Christmas activities and socializing with kids not named Duggar.

The comparison of Rachel's huge TV vs Jill's laptop is telling. I hope the Dullards buy themselves a teevee for Christmas. Derelict should be on Winter break now, so he should have time to shop at Best Buy.

[ginger90]

[Spencer Hastings]

12 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Oh, Jill.  The Instagram mommies are going to get you. 😔

[mythoughtis]

36 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Oh, Jill.  The Instagram mommies are going to get you. 😔

Around the corner, or not, it’s most likely a public street and therefore illegal.  Go to your parents acreage or Austin’s family campground to do that.

first,  she could have  gotten a serious ticket for that.  
second- a drunk step-father near here let his step-son ride on a small trailer he was pulling with a lawn tractor, without taillights, after dark.  A teenager ran into the neck of them because Country Road, no street lights, no taillights.  The result-  dead child, a teenager who will never be the same, a destroyed mother, a step-father in prison. 

[wilsie]

52 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Oh, Jill.  The Instagram mommies are going to get you. 😔

I'm right there with them.  This is beyond foolish and potentially dangerous.  Jill has posted so many things in the past that look like her children are in danger of falling from the things she's let them climb on.  This is just stupid for her to do.  If she wants to make her kids happy, spend some time with them reading to them or take them to a park and engage with them.  

[JustRosie]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Not seeing this on her Instagram. Has she pulled it down already?

[ginger90]

8 minutes ago, Namaste said:

Not seeing this on her Instagram. Has she pulled it down already?

It’s still there. It’s in her stories, not a regular post.

[JustRosie]

1 minute ago, ginger90 said:

It’s still there. It’s in her stories, not a regular post.

Thanks!

[Spencer Hastings]

People get up in arms about car seats straps being 1/8 of an inch off, I can’t believe she’d be dumb enough to post that. 

[Sew Sumi]

One step forward, 100 steps back...

[fonfereksglen]

Obviously still "light headed" after the hair cut!

[JustRosie]

What was she thinking?  😳 

[GeeGolly]

I read, years and years ago that most accidents happen within a mile of home. I figured part of what contributed to that statistic is folks are probably more often a mile from their home than anywhere else.

Anyway, being in a car for 2 minutes or 2 hours accidents can happen. If she stopped fast or was hit from behind Izzy would fly right out of the car. I don't want to think what would happen to him if they were hit head on. And poor Sammy would be bouncing around. 

I was more of a free range mom - within reason, but riding around with kids hanging out the sun roof is dumb, careless and dangerous.

Edited December 23, 2019 by GeeGolly

[Sew Sumi]

If it was just around the corner, why didn't they walk? It was almost 70 in NWA today (yes, I checked when I saw Henry's bare feet in Jessa's post).

[BitterApple]

If they were on the long driveway at the TTH, I'd think meh, whatever, but I agree with you all that this isn't the smartest move on a public road (even if it's her quiet neighnorhood street). If a car came flying around the corner or a dog ran out into the street and Jill had to slam the brakes, the kids could be seriously injured.

[BigBingerBro]

It just shows that a nice haircut can't fix stupid.

[dargosmydaddy]

That looks like a decapitation waiting to happen...

[BigBingerBro]

4 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

That looks like a decapitation waiting to happen...

Or a chipped tooth

[galaxychaser]

4 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

A bunch of pics.

 

Such big teeth on both of them. 

Last picture: why post it. It’s a mug with cocoa in it.

Edited December 24, 2019 by galaxychaser

[Sew Sumi]

13 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Or a chipped tooth

No biggie. Izzy's grill is already jacked up.

[Lunera]

What a dummy. Doesn't seem like it's around the block if she had to drive there. Not only are the kids standing up but she had her stupid phone out taking pictures while driving. 

[PradaKitty]

Jill should also be wearing sunglasses instead of squinting into the sun!

[fonfereksglen]

13 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Such big teeth on both of them. 

Last picture: why post it. It’s a mug with cocoa in it.

Merry Christmas in Swedish.  Back in my last years as a music teacher, I often had my students sing traditional carols in the language of origin to get around the Christmas carol stuff!  I was teaching history and music and we were singing beautiful songs. I even had a couple of Native American modal winter songs and Jewish pieces I snuck in.  Must better than little ones screeching Frosty the Snowman.   Fum, fum fum!

[Sew Sumi]

 

[JoanArc]

Probably about halfway done with the marriage too, Jill. Time for a party. yay.

[galaxychaser]

That sign is horrible yay. How long is law school? Let’s hope he finishes and passes the bar.