Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[CalicoKitty]

3 minutes ago, Zella said:

I've not read the book, but that was my impression. I mean, maybe he did, but I really don't think he kept a running tally of all of this stuff over the years. But he totally whipped it out as a manipulation and intimidation tactic to make them stand down. I can just see the spiteful little hamster wheel turning in his head when he decides to do this in retaliation. I am sure he thought he was being really slick and clever. 

That was my impression when I read it.  Everything on the list is a nice, round number, and he thought he was being clever to "charge" Jill for costs related to being his daughter.  It was very insulting.  He apparently had given them either money for, or actual, furniture. In that list he offered to buy the furniture back at a discount after so many years.  Now that this "document" is out in the open, he really, really looks like a jerk.

[CalicoKitty]

Jill's family reputation of being "the snitch" was also brought to light.  Jill's childhood was spent trying to be the "perfect child", and her whole reason for being was to gain positive attention (or any attention) from her parents.  Her indoctrination by her parents went very deep.  She wrote that she loved it when JB would point out to the other kids how correct she was or how she was doing the correct thing in a certain situation.  She considered her nickname "Jilly Muffin" as proof that she had her parent's approval. That is  part of the reason that she was so shocked when JB turned against her.  What a horrible way to grow up.

It is interesting that JB "found" and pushed Derrick and Jill towards each other.  JB really thought that he had Derrick under his control.  That didn't work out so well for him.

[Salacious Kitty]

It's also notable that Jill wasn't interested at first. 

I wonder how much JB contributed to Derick's ministry in Nepal? We do learn that he gave Dillard Family Ministries 10 grand. 

[quarks]

5 hours ago, Dianaofthehunt said:

Maybe a published author or two can answer this question:
When a book is purchased via Kindle, how much (what percentage) of that money goes directly to the author? Does the author get a bigger cut if their book is purchased in a hardbound edition?

This 100% depends upon the publisher, the contract, how the publisher handles returns, whether or not the publisher chooses to release the book through Kindle Unlimited, and whether or not the reader buys the book outright or uses Kindle Unlimited.

With that said, most Simon & Schuster authors, like Jill, can expect to receive somewhere around 10% to 25% of the Kindle price; and about 7% to 15% of the hardcover price. Audio varies tremendously; I'm guessing that Jill is getting a slightly higher royalty rate than usual here since she narrated her own book, but that's a complete guess on my part and might be wrong. 

While we're here, Simon & Schuster now typically splits the "advance" payments into four checks: one check on signing, one check on delivery, one check on launch, and withholds the final payment until the next reporting period after launch (probably June 2024). She can and will keep the first three checks regardless of sales; the final check and any further royalty payments will depend upon sales/returns.

[Heathen]

5 hours ago, louannems said:

For those of you who have read the book, I have a question about JB’s itemized list of Jill’s expenses.  Is he talking about all expenses since Jill was born, or just her adult years while she remained living at home between age 18 til marriage? 

I do believe JB spent plenty of money on his adult kids, even the married ones. They all drove big SUVS, had Apple laptops and phones, spent lots of time in coffee shops and nail salon, went on plenty of ski trips and cross-country visits, had too many babies, with little or no jobs or education.

Of course, he bought them all these things because he has to control them and they cannot work (if female) or must work for JB (if male).

Even in On the Road with Too Many Duggars, Jana had a Motorola Razr, which was the trendy phone at the time (it was pre-iPhone!). I think you're right about Jim Bob spending money on the adult kids, even though it was on Jim Bob-approved things. I mean, John got a plane and flying lessons. 

[Future Cat Lady]

5 hours ago, louannems said:

For those of you who have read the book, I have a question about JB’s itemized list of Jill’s expenses.  Is he talking about all expenses since Jill was born, or just her adult years while she remained living at home between age 18 til marriage? 

I do believe JB spent plenty of money on his adult kids, even the married ones. They all drove big SUVS, had Apple laptops and phones, spent lots of time in coffee shops and nail salon, went on plenty of ski trips and cross-country visits, had too many babies, with little or no jobs or education.

Of course, he bought them all these things because he has to control them and they cannot work (if female) or must work for JB (if male).

I think you are right about the control aspect. He probably had no problem giving them the material thingd they wanted, but giving them a "paycheck" would give them too much freedom.

[dariafan]

20 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Even in On the Road with Too Many Duggars, Jana had a Motorola Razr, which was the trendy phone at the time (it was pre-iPhone!). I think you're right about Jim Bob spending money on the adult kids, even though it was on Jim Bob-approved things. I mean, John got a plane and flying lessons. 

Cause they needed to justify a “private plane “

[Trillium]

6 hours ago, Zella said:

I've not read the book, but that was my impression. I mean, maybe he did, but I really don't think he kept a running tally of all of this stuff over the years. But he totally whipped it out as a manipulation and intimidation tactic to make them stand down. I can just see the spiteful little hamster wheel turning in his head when he decides to do this in retaliation. I am sure he thought he was being really slick and clever. 

A lot of the numbers didn’t even make sense. He has $1,000 a year on clothing and Goodwill purchases, and $600 a month on discounted utilities. I doubt the entire utility bill was $600, let  alone Jill’s portion (this didn’t include her cell phone, that was itemized separately). There’s no way the clothes she bought while living there (and shared with her sisters) cost $1,000 a year from Goodwill. 

The saddest part of the letter was at the start of it JB said he was sorry, so Jill was hopeful things were turning a corner. But then then lists all the things he paid for and ends with him threading to cut off her inheritance. He truly is terrible. 
 

She starts the book calling herself a hunter, a hunter for her parents approval. And that didn’t end until well after she was married and had her own kids. Therapy really did seem to help her, and the things she describes about their sessions, her therapist seems pretty decent actually. She does give a lot of credit to therapy helping her. She has a long way to go but I think the fact she’s learning it’s ok to question things, I hope she keeps that momentum going. 

[Jeeves]

8 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I'm wondering how he presented this to his CPA. That person didn't question it? I'm thinking he (sure they're male) is as sleazy as JB. 

If you mean that "itemization" of costs that JB dreamed up and sent to Jill, I don't think JB would have consulted his CPA about it, nor would he have sent it to his CPA.

1 hour ago, Trillium said:

A lot of the numbers didn’t even make sense.

That's understandable when you remember the context in which JB came up with that idiotic list of expenses.

He was reacting to Jill and Derick's having requested a copy of the 2014 TLC contract she had signed, as well as Mad Family Inc. corporate documents. And having asked about the small matter of $132,000 that JB's accountant had reported on tax returns filed with the IRS, as having been paid to Jill. Which she hadn't received -see below.

• JB had in prior months "given" Jill $80,000, without her having signed the contract and NDA he required the other kids to sign to get the same amount (and had at first wanted her to sign as well).  That had apparently been in reaction to Jill and Derick's initial questions about the TLC contract, reimbursement for their out of pocket medical costs for Izzy's birth which had been featured on two episodes of the show, etc. IMO JB thought he could hand out chunks of money and thus shut up the Dillards.
• But after that, Jill received a letter from the IRS. We don't know what it said. But it led to the Dillards getting their tax returns from JB's CPA who had always prepared Jill's returns (and also the Dillards' joint returns the first two years of their marriage).
• After reviewing those returns, Derick discovered that over the years, the CPA had reported that Jill had received income, although she hadn't in fact received any of that money. She asked Derick if the total was $80,000 - which would have been covered by that payment from JB. No, he said, it was more. About $132,000 more.
• So there was JB. confronted with his Jilly Muffin and her husband wanting the TLC contract, and to know WTF was going on and where was the $132,000 the IRS was told she'd received as income, but which she had not received. 
• And they weren't playing. They eventually hired a lawyer to pursue the request although I don't think they had at that point.
• So what does JB do? He goes ballistic. And among other things he dreams up this "accounting" of "expenses" he'd paid for Jill's benefit over the years - which oh so conveniently came to - just under $130,000. And fires it off to Jill in a text message. 

It was, as has been said, a d*ck move. "How dare you disrespect your father by demanding $130,000? Look, I've easily spent that much on you over the years. You already GOT it, girl, just in goods and services, not cash."

It was a d*ck move and the list was BS. Of course the numbers don't make much sense. They just had to add up to the target number. I'm sure he just thought of all the categories and played with numbers until it added up to the total he wanted. 

I'm sure that was never a document JB consulted his CPA about, or shared with his CPA. It was just a little grenade he tossed over the wall at Jill and Derick that didn't have the effect he'd intended. 

EDIT: I reviewed the part of the book about this and tweaked the total JB cited which was close to what I'd posted. He then said he'd give her $20,000 to settle everything, take it or leave it, with a deadline of I think a few days. 

I hope the story of that list of expenses follows that greedy little sumbitch to his grave.

Edited September 17, 2023 by Jeeves
Clarification of a few bits after looking at the book

[Panopticon]

2 hours ago, dariafan said:

Cause they needed to justify a “private plane “

And Jill is quite explicit about that in the book. JB and Michelle were having trouble keeping up with their speaking engagements during the height of the show’s popularity and JD’s dream was to fly, so it lined up nicely. Meanwhile, Jill “thought about it briefly” but “didn’t want to ask where the money had come from.” 

[Salacious Kitty]

4 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

If you mean that "itemization" of costs that JB dreamed up and sent to Jill, I don't think JB would have consulted his CPA about it, nor would he have sent it to his CPA.

That's understandable when you remember the context in which JB came up with that idiotic list of expenses.

He was reacting to Jill and Derick's having requested a copy of the 2014 TLC contract she had signed, as well as Mad Family Inc. corporate documents. And having asked about the small matter of $132,000 that JB's accountant had reported on tax returns filed with the IRS, as having been paid to Jill. Which she hadn't received -see below.

• JB had in prior months "given" Jill $80,000, without her having signed the contract and NDA he required the other kids to sign to get the same amount (and had at first wanted her to sign as well).  That had apparently been in reaction to Jill and Derick's initial questions about the TLC contract, reimbursement for their out of pocket medical costs for Izzy's birth which had been featured on two episodes of the show, etc. IMO JB thought he could hand out chunks of money and thus shut up the Dillards.
• But after that, Jill received a letter from the IRS. We don't know what it said. But it led to the Dillards getting their tax returns from JB's CPA who had always prepared Jill's returns (and also the Dillards' joint returns the first two years of their marriage).
• After reviewing those returns, Derick discovered that over the years, the CPA had reported that Jill had received income, although she hadn't in fact received any of that money. She asked Derick if the total was $80,000 - which would have been covered by that payment from JB. No, he said, it was more. About $132,000 more.
• So there was JB. confronted with his Jilly Muffin and her husband wanting the TLC contract, and to know WTF was going on and where was the $132,000 the IRS was told she'd received as income, but which she had not received. 
• And they weren't playing. They hired a lawyer to handle the request.
• So what does JB do? He goes ballistic. And among other things he dreams up this "accounting" of "expenses" he'd paid for Jill's benefit over the years - which oh so conveniently came to - just about $130,000,  or $132,000, or whatever the amount was. And fires it off to Jill in a text message. 

It was, as has been said, a d*ck move. "How dare you disrespect your father by demanding $130,000? Look, I've easily spent that much on you over the years. You already GOT it, girl, just in goods and services, not cash."

It was a d*ck move and the list was BS. Of course the numbers don't make much sense. They just had to add up to the $130,000. or $132,000 or whatever that number was. I'm sure he just thought of all the categories and played with numbers until it added up to the total he wanted. 

I'm sure that was never a document JB consulted his CPA about, or shared with his CPA. It was just a little grenade he tossed over the wall at Jill and Derick that didn't have the effect he'd intended. 

I hope the story of that list of expenses follows that greedy little sumbitch to his grave.

 

I was under the impression that Boob used the itemized list on a tax return. I guess we never learned where the amount in question actually originated, aside from Boob's fantasies. I wonder if he did this with all his kids, but since they just electronically signed off, didn't realize the shell games that Boob played.

[Jeeves]

  

Just now, Salacious Kitty said:

I was under the impression that Boob used the itemized list on a tax return. I guess we never learned where the amount in question actually originated, aside from Boob's fantasies. I wonder if he did this with all his kids, but since they just electronically signed off, didn't realize the shell games that Boob played.

The list is quoted in full in Jill's book. I doubt that JB did anything like that with the other kids. (Unless another kid started asking inconvenient questions - and we have no way to know if they did.)

It was part of a long text message from JB in reply to their request for the TLC contract and other documents and IIRC info re the missing $132,000 of income that had been reported to the IRS. 

He totally pulled that stuff out of his, um, ear, as is clear from the context in the book. It conveniently added up to just about the missing amount. I'll quote part of the message because it's such a JB thing.

Quote

Yes, we allotted, at different times, amounts to our children, for tax purposes, because each one of our children were benefiting from having all of their needs met (food, clothing, shelter, utilities, music lessons, education, travel, instruments, vehicles, phones, medical insurance, medical bills, etc.). Here are some low numbers of what was approximately spent on Jill in the last few years:

[leaving out the long list of things and his stupid numbers]

$129,940 is just the beginning of Jill’s expenses paid by Duggar family over the last several years. Most of this was made and spent on Jill before you two were married.

Also, taking into account many other ways that we have spent money to help you all, for example, installing the AC in your home to El Salvador, the stove, the washing machine, etc.

The total on Jill’s tax returns was $130,250.

We would be willing to write a check for $20,000 to settle this once and for all.

Jill, when Mom and I pass on, you are set to receive 1/19th of everything we own that is set up in a trust for you kids.

If you attack us, probably your inheritance will be lowered significantly.

I love you, but I am grieved by the disrespect and the accusations that continue.

I have asked for forgiveness, and I hope that you will also, you have deeply offended your mother and I.

We love you and forgive you for the things you have said & done.

$20,000 is a one-time offer, take it or leave it, please let me know by Monday night, or the amount will be zero.

Love,

Daddy Duggar

  --Duggar, Jill. Counting the Cost (p. 218-219). Gallery Books. Kindle Edition. 

Yeah, "Love, Daddy." And according to Jill's book, he was a little under on the amount shown on her tax returns and not paid to her. She cited the number as $132,249.98.

[Salacious Kitty]

But he says that they alotted amounts for the children (at different times) for tax purposes. That says to me that Jill wasn't the only one he did this to. Unless he's lying to her, which is entirely possible.

(I read the book, just came to different conclusions) 😃

[LilJen]

Yeah, I don't think you can count expenses related to raising your children as business expenses. Unless you openly admit you had each one of them ONLY for business purposes. Which, yeah, lots of love shown there, "Daddy." 

Edited September 17, 2023 by LilJen

[andromeda331]

8 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

Jill's family reputation of being "the snitch" was also brought to light.  Jill's childhood was spent trying to be the "perfect child", and her whole reason for being was to gain positive attention (or any attention) from her parents.  Her indoctrination by her parents went very deep.  She wrote that she loved it when JB would point out to the other kids how correct she was or how she was doing the correct thing in a certain situation.  She considered her nickname "Jilly Muffin" as proof that she had her parent's approval. That is  part of the reason that she was so shocked when JB turned against her.  What a horrible way to grow up.

It is interesting that JB "found" and pushed Derrick and Jill towards each other.  JB really thought that he had Derrick under his control.  That didn't work out so well for him.

I'm surprised he did too. Jill was the one who believed the most. She followed all the rules, she was the one who spoke the most during interviews, she "corrected" Jinger wanting to live in a big city and other stuff. She absolutely bought into everything her parents' were selling. She did the courtship. She wanted to be a nurse but when they corrected her to being a midwife she did that. Plus the money that was made off her wedding and Israel's birth. I always thought she was JB's favorite. But none of that mattered when she and Derrick dared to ask for money to cover Israel's medical bills. He really turned viciously.

 

48 minutes ago, Panopticon said:

And Jill is quite explicit about that in the book. JB and Michelle were having trouble keeping up with their speaking engagements during the height of the show’s popularity and JD’s dream was to fly, so it lined up nicely. Meanwhile, Jill “thought about it briefly” but “didn’t want to ask where the money had come from.” 

Yep, John David wanted to fly but he only was allowed to because his parents' wanted to fly around in a private plane. If they hadn't he never would have been allowed to learn. They are only allowed to do things if they benefit JB and Michelle somehow.

[Jeeves]

35 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

But he says that they alotted amounts for the children (at different times) for tax purposes. That says to me that Jill wasn't the only one he did this to. Unless he's lying to her, which is entirely possible.

(I read the book, just came to different conclusions) 😃

That's interesting. I see what you mean! 

Here's my take on it. I think that over the years, for tax purposes (as he admitted, LOL), JB told his CPA that each kid (not only Jill)  had been paid income from the funds Mad Family, Inc. had received for the TLC shows.

And the CPA filed tax returns for the kids showing those amounts of income as stated to him by JB (and I assume booked as such on Mad Family Inc,'s financial records). Of course now we know that no such sums were really paid to those kids.*

But I don't think JB created any lists of expenses to calculate the kids' "incomes." If he had, he would have just pulled a copy of Jill's list(s) from the CPA tax files and sent it to her. Instead, he said in the text message that he was providing some "low numbers" of "approximately" what had been spent on Jill. 

I think that each year, JB gave his CPA the "income" numbers for his kids' tax returns based on whatever he thought would be helpful in reducing taxes payable by Mad Family Inc., etc., and wouldn't look ridiculous on the kids' tax returns. ETA, it may have been a straight percentage, see my edit below.

When challenged on it he came up with the silly justification that "this is what we spent on the kids and thus they benefited from and thus it was really their income."  But it apparently wasn't reported as deductions from the Duggars' personal returns as dependent expenses, or as expenses paid by Mad Family, Inc. for the kids, but as income paid to the kids from Mad Family Inc.  

*I don't know if there are any laws (tax laws or otherwise) about how JB as the parent of those minor children was supposed to handle the money he'd reported as their income to the IRS. From what I read in the book, I don't think he set aside any of it in accounts or trusts for each kid. He just used it for investments or whatever he thought best, with the idea the eventually each kid would inherit 1/19 of "everything" after he and Meech had died. His "investment" plan for his kids. It was a slick way to justify this to himself. But it  was very stupid because he didn't seem to think that any of his kids would grow up and become adults who, you know, had questions. 

ETA: Here's what Jill said about how JB handled the money paid to Mad Family Inc, for the TLC show. Apparently each kid just got a straight percentage which really shows that justification he came up with in that text message was nonsense:

Quote

Pops . . . determined somehow that each child would receive 3 percent on their tax return each year. However, even this was a phantom payment, seemingly just reported on paper for tax purposes with no apparent intention to actually pay out this amount. We would later be told that this previously reported income was an investment or inheritance that we could only have access to upon my parents’ death.

-- Duggar, Jill. Counting the Cost (pp. 225-226). Gallery Books. Kindle Edition. 

 

Edited September 17, 2023 by Jeeves
Found the info in the book I was looking for

[Salacious Kitty]

He expected them to shut up and do as they were told, even as adults. To quest was considered to be disobedience. All so Boob could continue to sit on his piles of cash. 

Such an evil, greedy asshole. 

[CalicoKitty]

I was surprised that Jill was quite clear that in IBLP, children were to be obedient to their parents for their entire lives, even after marriage.  This also applies the new spouse.  This organization really would appeal to little guys with big egos and the need for power.  The father has control over everything in their life.  Derick didn't see things the same way, which started some of the arguments.  This explains, to me anyway, the pushback that Jill received as opposed to Josh.  Josh was/is the "heir next in line" to run the family if something happened to JB.  

[Salacious Kitty]

9 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

I was surprised that Jill was quite clear that in IBLP, children were to be obedient to their parents for their entire lives, even after marriage.  This also applies the new spouse.  This organization really would appeal to little guys with big egos and the need for power.  The father has control over everything in their life.  Derick didn't see things the same way, which started some of the arguments.  This explains, to me anyway, the pushback that Jill received as opposed to Josh.  Josh was/is the "heir next in line" to run the family if something happened to JB.  

Would Boob "allow" the FF to run the ship should he become incapacitated or dies? I imagine this is all spelled out somewhere.  But even if the FF takes over, would anyone actually respect him? He didn't have overwhelming support from his siblings at the trial. 

[CalicoKitty]

2 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Would Boob "allow" the FF to run the ship should he become incapacitated or dies? I imagine this is all spelled out somewhere.  But even if the FF takes over, would anyone actually respect him? He didn't have overwhelming support from his siblings at the trial. 

I think some would.  Some of those kids are used to being "protected", not only from satan but also financially.  I don't think some of the "kids" could take care of themselves or make their own decisions.

[MsJamieDornan]

6 hours ago, Heathen said:

Even in On the Road with Too Many Duggars, Jana had a Motorola Razr, which was the trendy phone at the time (it was pre-iPhone!). I think you're right about Jim Bob spending money on the adult kids, even though it was on Jim Bob-approved things. I mean, John got a plane and flying lessons. 

Not one of the things he bought were new. The phones, the cars, the furniture, nothing. jmo

[Heathen]

21 minutes ago, MsJamieDornan said:

Not one of the things he bought were new. The phones, the cars, the furniture, nothing. jmo

I disagree. I think the phones, at least, must have been new, and probably the Macs that came later. As far as furniture, if I had a passel of feral children who'd be climbing all over it, I'd buy used, too. 

There is nothing wrong with buying used cars. 

[GeeGolly]

Thank you all so much for sharing parts of Jill's book. I very much appreciate it.

Does Jill go into why she wrote this book? Most of what I have read here and in articles. is about JB and money. Is there more in the book that is less 'news worthy', but sets the tone of a precautionary tale of the uber religious? Or the difficulties of growing up with authoritarian parents?

 

[Salacious Kitty]

20 minutes ago, Heathen said:

I disagree. I think the phones, at least, must have been new, and probably the Macs that came later. As far as furniture, if I had a passel of feral children who'd be climbing all over it, I'd buy used, too. 

There is nothing wrong with buying used cars. 

There's something wrong with DUGGAR used cars. Hell, they even sold Carlin Bates a lemon. 

[Zella]

I know of only one person who bought a car from them. She's a sibling of a friend, and she's kind of a Jesus freak. The car she bought was a piece of crap, and she was horrified and shocked. When her brother told me this story, I burst out laughing. I never heard anything else about the car. LOL 

[Dehumidifier]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Thank you all so much for sharing parts of Jill's book. I very much appreciate it.

Does Jill go into why she wrote this book? Most of what I have read here and in articles. is about JB and money. Is there more in the book that is less 'news worthy', but sets the tone of a precautionary tale of the uber religious? Or the difficulties of growing up with authoritarian parents?

 

Money?

She has no years of paid employment on her resume and he has, what?, 2 1/2 maybe 3 years, total?

[Trillium]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Thank you all so much for sharing parts of Jill's book. I very much appreciate it.

Does Jill go into why she wrote this book? Most of what I have read here and in articles. is about JB and money. Is there more in the book that is less 'news worthy', but sets the tone of a precautionary tale of the uber religious? Or the difficulties of growing up with authoritarian parents?

 

There is some things in there, Jill said several times how IBLP made it difficult for her to for against her parents. How she was told that going out from their umbrella of authority would harm her. She also talked about how she was told not to talk to people outside the family and how once she was married she didn’t have a clue how to make friends or be around other people.

 

Part of not being on the show wasn’t just money, they just didn’t want to do it all the time. We snarked a lot on her driving him to Walmart but she said when he wasn’t working the film crew was there, late into the evening. She said the car rides to work was basically the only time the two of them could talk alone.  So when the went to El Salvador there was a time they wanted them to come back for a photo shoot and they said no, we promised we’d be here until July and Jim Bob was doing everything to guilt them, gaslight them into coming back. He and Michelle even showed up unannounced one day.

 

When she wore pants for the first time. She had asked Derick what he thought about while he was watching football and she asked him if it was a sin and if seeing women wearing pants defrauded him and he told her no, and back in the Bible times, men wore robes so it wasn’t a big deal. He didn’t care what she did. And she said she was frustrated because she wanted him to say yes or no, make the decision for her. Because that was how she was raised, Jim Bob made all the choices for her, choosing for herself wasn’t something she knew how to do. 
 

The first time she wore pants (leggings) they went to that Silver Dollar City with the Dillards and then suddenly the Duggars show up, and she spent the whole time avoiding them and just saying hi in passing. Then the next time Jill went to the Big House he asked if she had been wearing pants and scolded her because unlike Jinger, Jill hadn’t talked to him and justified it first. 
 

The funniest non-money thing was when it came out her and Derick drank alcohol, Jim Bob offered to send Derick to the rehab place Josh went to after Ashley Madison (because clearly that place worked) to cure is raging alcoholism. They said no thanks. 

Edited September 17, 2023 by Trillium

[ChiCricket]

  I "borrowed " this from a different forum.

I thought it was interesting that TLC paid for all the food from their filmed grocery trips.

Jill said they were able to get much different stuff than what they normally had to eat all the time.

Edited September 17, 2023 by ChiCricket

[Jeeves]

7 hours ago, Heathen said:

I disagree. I think the phones, at least, must have been new, and probably the Macs that came later. As far as furniture, if I had a passel of feral children who'd be climbing all over it, I'd buy used, too. 

I think so too. I read some snark years ago - maybe it allegedly came from "Alice," the person who told Oprah's production company about Josh's molestations - about the Duggars grifting some of those nice consumer goods. The source said that Josh and Grandma Mary often "worked the phones" to get comped merch. I think that if we saw an item on the show with the brand visible, it was probably comped for "promotional consideration" by the manufacturer. I remember some big-*ss Apple MacBook laptops being quite visible, once in a scene in the girls' dorm being used by I think Jana. If her phone was identifiable as a Motorola Razr, I think it was probably comped too. Also, I think JB would have been okay with buying nice new phones for himself and Meech, and nice gear for the Crown Prince, because, priorities.

1 hour ago, Trillium said:

When she wore pants for the first time. She had asked Derick what he thought about while he was watching football and she asked him if it was a sin and if seeing women wearing pants defrauded him and he told her no, and back in the Bible times, men wore robes so it wasn’t a big deal. He didn’t care what she did. And she said she was frustrated because she wanted him to say yes or no, make the decision for her. Because that was how she was raised, Jim Bob made all the choices for her, choosing for herself wasn’t something she knew how to do. 

I loved your whole post, but that part made me smile. I remember how she described that scene. It sounded so darn normal. Husband watching a recorded football game on TV, wife asking questions; he pauses the playback to answer her a few times and then each time goes back to the game. He wasn't blowing her off, he did consider and answer her questions, but he didn't get all up in her business about it. As you said, he left it to her, and that was scary new territory for her: making her own decision.

Oh I was SO loving the snark when she wrote that after hearing that Derick had consumed one beer, JB "offered to send Derick to the same rehab facility Josh had been to, in the hope of curing Derick’s clearly raging alcoholism. Since he’d never been drunk or ever had more than two beers in any one sitting, Derick declined." I may have laughed out loud when I read that. 

[mythoughtis]

10 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

 

Yep, John David wanted to fly but he only was allowed to because his parents' wanted to fly around in a private plane. If they hadn't he never would have been allowed to learn. They are only allowed to do things if they benefit JB and Michelle somehow.

John David wanted to be a commercial pilot and they told him no because he would be gone overnight and that would be disruptive to a marriage. He wasn’t even courting at the time.  This discussion was filmed for the show. 
 

As you said, he was only allowed to learn to fly when it benefited JB. 

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, Dehumidifier said:

Money?

She has no years of paid employment on her resume and he has, what?, 2 1/2 maybe 3 years, total?

Apparently Jill has years of employment unbeknownst to her. Also, I don't think Jill cares if she has an employment record. She wasn't raised to think that way.

And yea, Derick has a way to go before he as a steady employment record even though he claimed once he has been working since he was 4.

Anyway, I was more looking for the slant in the book.

Thank you @Trillium, for sharing more details of the book!

[MsJamieDornan]

8 hours ago, Heathen said:

I disagree. I think the phones, at least, must have been new, and probably the Macs that came later. As far as furniture, if I had a passel of feral children who'd be climbing all over it, I'd buy used, too. 

There is nothing wrong with buying used cars. 

There is nothing wrong with buying anything used. I'm just not giving that piece of shit JB credit for spending money on new things.

[Jeeves]

10 minutes ago, MsJamieDornan said:

There is nothing wrong with buying anything used. I'm just not giving that piece of shit JB credit for spending money on new things.

I think he was okay with buying new for himself, his wife, and his oldest son.

But for anyone else? Buy used or even get free stuff. 

I agree that he's a PoS. Just saying. 

[Dehumidifier]

52 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Apparently Jill has years of employment unbeknownst to her. Also, I don't think Jill cares if she has an employment record. She wasn't raised to think that way.

And yea, Derick has a way to go before he as a steady employment record even though he claimed once he has been working since he was 4.

Anyway, I was more looking for the slant in the book.

Thank you @Trillium, for sharing more details of the book!

Nothing that counts at the Social Security office.

Hopefully they are smart enough to have long-term disability insurance, either privately or through his job.

[Suzn]

12 hours ago, Jeeves said:

After reviewing those returns, Derick discovered that over the years, the CPA had reported that Jill had received income, although she hadn't in fact received any of that money. She asked Derick if the total was $80,000 - which would have been covered by that payment from JB. No, he said, it was more. About $132,000 more.

If tax returns were filed showing that income for Jill, there would have been tax due.   How was that paid?

[satrunrose]

11 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I was surprised that Jill was quite clear that in IBLP, children were to be obedient to their parents for their entire lives, even after marriage.  This also applies the new spouse.  This organization really would appeal to little guys with big egos and the need for power.  The father has control over everything in their life.  Derick didn't see things the same way, which started some of the arguments.  This explains, to me anyway, the pushback that Jill received as opposed to Josh.  Josh was/is the "heir next in line" to run the family if something happened to JB.  

Does that explain why so many of the kiddult marriages seem to have the spouse just kind of get Borg-ified into the IBLP family while their birth family takes a serious back seat (the Rod son-in-laws, the way Anna's family doesn't seem to be doing much to support her, Ben and Justin and Claire in the other direction)?

[Jeeves]

1 minute ago, Suzn said:

If tax returns were filed showing that income for Jill, there would have been tax due.   How was that paid?

We don't know. 

[BetyBee]

Apparently, even after the adult kids marry, JB retains all power and must be consulted before any big ticket decisions. I wonder who would have taken his place after he dies? Josh????!!!!

[Zella]

18 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Apparently, even after the adult kids marry, JB retains all power and must be consulted before any big ticket decisions. I wonder who would have taken his place after he dies? Josh????!!!!

I think once upon a time, yes. Now I think Jed! is being slated for that position. But I really don't think he will have the same hold on his siblings that their dad has, especially for siblings older than him. 

[CalicoKitty]

33 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

We don't know. 

That may have something with the multitude of LLCs and moving money.  I'm sure JB and the accountant  handled everything.

[CalicoKitty]

11 hours ago, MsJamieDornan said:

Not one of the things he bought were new. The phones, the cars, the furniture, nothing. jmo

The airplanes were not new, either.

[Zella]

1 minute ago, CalicoKitty said:

The airplanes were not new, either.

That's giving me such Stockton Rush/Titan submersible vibes. 

[ozziemom]

39 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

That may have something with the multitude of LLCs and moving money.  I'm sure JB and the accountant  handled everything.

And the $132,000 was over several years, so I’m sure Boob and his accountant had a system for moving income and expenses around. If JB had paid big bucks for Jill’s taxes he would have added it to the list!

[all fall down]

In the latest People magazine article (i saw screenshots of the magazine on reddit), Jill says both Israel and Sam are in school.

I know we've debated if they were in school or not (I leaned towards not, based on the info we had), but it's nice to have confirmation one way or the other, and I'm glad they are in school. 

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, Dehumidifier said:

Nothing that counts at the Social Security office.

Hopefully they are smart enough to have long-term disability insurance, either privately or through his job.

Jill and her siblings likely have had taxable income for a few years at least. It appears JB has been filing tax returns for them based on Mad Family income.

[CalicoKitty]

11 minutes ago, all fall down said:

In the latest People magazine article (i saw screenshots of the magazine on reddit), Jill says both Israel and Sam are in school.

I know we've debated if they were in school or not (I leaned towards not, based on the info we had), but it's nice to have confirmation one way or the other, and I'm glad they are in school. 

She didn't mention Sam in the book, but she did say how fun it was to take Iz to school.  Derrick is college-educated.   I really would be very surprised if his kids did not go to school.  It is possible that they don't want to advertise where the kids are attending.  The school may have requested that she not name the school.  I think (hope) that Jill has realized how different her live would be if she had had a good basic education.

[dariafan]

I killed the battery on my kindle and M waiting for it charge so I can finish the book !

[smallfry]

7 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

John David wanted to be a commercial pilot and they told him no because he would be gone overnight and that would be disruptive to a marriage. He wasn’t even courting at the time.  This discussion was filmed for the show. 
 

As you said, he was only allowed to learn to fly when it benefited JB. 

JB is the same as Jill R., everything done has to benefit them no matter what even the cost to others!! So much for following JOY!

[babyhouseman]

8 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I thought it was interesting that TLC paid for all the food from their filmed grocery trips.

When TLC families shop at stores on their shows, they get things for free. JimBoob must've loved the free food for his brood.

[Blergh]

I hope there's someone in their lives who tells Jill that she needs to terminate the fantasy that either of her DNA Donors are trustworthy people and just because they can ooh and ahh over her new babies doesn't mean that the DNA Donors have sincerely atoned or repented- much less can be trusted to safeguard or protect her offspring! IOW, they are (and always have been ) who they ARE- NOT how she wishes they would be!

Yep, talk about opening one's tent to let a camel in- only in this case it's opposite end from the nose!

Edited September 17, 2023 by Blergh