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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

555A8FD6-7C7B-48EF-AFB7-041EFBA87250.jpeg

Ah hahahaha!  FU Twitter and interwebz!  We DO eat fruits and veggies!  Hilarious!   She got killed on the Twitter comments from her previous glop recipes! 

  • Love 3
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26 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

Divorcing the Duggars.  Jill gets fed up with Derick and files for divorce.  Boob and Mullet are horrified and refuse to let her come back to live at TTH.  They attempt to get custody of Izzy and Sam, or whatever their names are - I can see Boob and Mullet saying that.  

TLC gives her her own show, showing the divorce, the family shun and finding and setting up her own apt or rental home.  Getting her GED and finding a job.  Putting the boys into a real school since she has to work.  

People would that up and she'd be a star.  

Only problem is Derick could block the boys from TV and probably would.  A show with just Jill would be worse then watching paint dry.

  • Love 11
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4 minutes ago, saylubee said:

Only problem is Derick could block the boys from TV and probably would.  A show with just Jill would be worse then watching paint dry.

True but I could also see Derick being relieved not to have to deal with Clingy Jill and the boys.  He could play on the interwebs and run until he pukes and got stay with Mommy.

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3 hours ago, Totally said:

An actual bowl of lettuce ? 

My eyes are rubbish but is there anything else in there, not that I can talk, my husband thinks onion and lettuce makes a salad ?

To be fair, I've been on a Caesar salad kick this last week and because I don't like anchovies that makes it just lettuce, parmesan, croutons, and dressing. 

I suppose the difference is that I'll eat it as a side with protein and maybe fruit, or put chicken on top to make a chicken salad, but still. At it's core it's basically cheese, lettuce, and dressing. ??‍♀️

At least Jill is eating something not greasy yellow?

  • Love 5
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It's funny because I think Derick and Jill would absolutely love to go their separate ways, they're just convinced the world will end if they don't hang themselves on the cross for their relationship. I can see Jill moving back to the TTH, dumping the boys on Jana and resuming Sister-Mom duties while Derelict hightails it into the jungle and visits on holidays. They could both potentially be happy, but they'll spend the next forty years miserable for the sake of Jesus instead.

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13 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

It's funny because I think Derick and Jill would absolutely love to go their separate ways, they're just convinced the world will end if they don't hang themselves on the cross for their relationship. I can see Jill moving back to the TTH, dumping the boys on Jana and resuming Sister-Mom duties while Derelict hightails it into the jungle and visits on holidays. They could both potentially be happy, but they'll spend the next forty years miserable for the sake of Jesus instead.

I really don't understand why they can't do this.   They could legally stay married, but separate.   Derrick can go save would around the globe while Jill and the boys stay in Arkansas.  They can say that this is God's will.  Couples have been doing this for centuries before divorce became socially acceptable.   

 

Oh wait, I know why this can never happen.  KJB would never allow it.

  • Love 14
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1 hour ago, DragonFaerie said:

Divorcing the Duggars.  Jill gets fed up with Derick and files for divorce.  Boob and Mullet are horrified and refuse to let her come back to live at TTH.  They attempt to get custody of Izzy and Sam, or whatever their names are - I can see Boob and Mullet saying that.  

TLC gives her her own show, showing the divorce, the family shun and finding and setting up her own apt or rental home.  Getting her GED and finding a job.  Putting the boys into a real school since she has to work.  

People would that up and she'd be a star.  

We can only dream. That show will never happen. Doesn’t she have a covenant marriage? Like no way ever they will split up? Or am I making stuff up?

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6 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

We can only dream. That show will never happen. Doesn’t she have a covenant marriage? Like no way ever they will split up? Or am I making stuff up?

Yes they do have a covenant marriage.

 

From https://www.economist.com/united-states/2005/02/10/yes-i-really-do

 

In 2001, Arkansas passed the Covenant Marriage Act. Couples who choose this path are required to agree to pre-marital counselling by a clergyman or a therapist and a two-year “cooling-off” period before a divorce can be granted. The only exceptions are the three As: abuse, abandonment or adultery. Couples hit by one of these qualify immediately for judicial separation, but still have to wait two years for a divorce.

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2 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Yes, you're correct. They did the covenant marriage thing. 

So ridiculous. If you need the law (in a veil of theocracy) to prevent you from acting on the recognition that your relationship is broken, you should grow the F up and learn to make your own choices. This is par for the course for the Duggars and their "look how godly we are" schtick.

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32 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Yes they do have a covenant marriage.

 

From https://www.economist.com/united-states/2005/02/10/yes-i-really-do

 

In 2001, Arkansas passed the Covenant Marriage Act. Couples who choose this path are required to agree to pre-marital counselling by a clergyman or a therapist and a two-year “cooling-off” period before a divorce can be granted. The only exceptions are the three As: abuse, abandonment or adultery. Couples hit by one of these qualify immediately for judicial separation, but still have to wait two years for a divorce.

So still doable. Many people are waiting a couple of years to divorce while they scrape up the money for the lawyers or for insurance reasons. Heck, Derick could just go beck to Nepal, and she could say she was abandoned... even if she knew exactly where he was. 

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43 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Yes they do have a covenant marriage.

 

From https://www.economist.com/united-states/2005/02/10/yes-i-really-do

 

In 2001, Arkansas passed the Covenant Marriage Act. Couples who choose this path are required to agree to pre-marital counselling by a clergyman or a therapist and a two-year “cooling-off” period before a divorce can be granted. The only exceptions are the three As: abuse, abandonment or adultery. Couples hit by one of these qualify immediately for judicial separation, but still have to wait two years for a divorce.

Who the hell wrote that legislation, Serena Joy?

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11 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

So WTH hasn't Anna divorced Smugger?  Boom and done.  

Hell, easier for Anna as FL doesn't have covenant marriages. They could have been long divorced by now.

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Which is why none of them will divorce. If Anna didn’t divorce Josh and worked through adultery, surely the rest of them can suck up incompatibility issues (Duggar cult logic, not Marshmallow logic).

What an awkward way for Jill to hold that salad bowl. Does she have permission to post the Voeller recipe that is from their cookbook?

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Unfortunately, the Jill recipe isn't actually healthy because she's visibly drowned it in dressing.  Ironically this is the way that restaurants do it; some sous-chef is in fact dispatched to don rubber gloves and lovingly massage dressing into each coated leaf, but nutritionists always include the caveat "Now remember, if your salad is drowned in dressing it's not "actually healthy", as some dressings can include more calories, salt, and fat, to the point where you might as well be eating a cheeseburger."  (Not judging!  I myself vastly prefer my salads with dressing massaged into every leaf.  I don't like "bitter" or "green-tasting" things.  It's in fact one of the banes of my existence, that I can't be happy with the dainty "now girls, just dip the tines of your fork in the dressing you've had healthfully served on the side" carolings.)

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I actually do feel sorry for Jill.  She's a big Kool-Aid Drinker and she followed all the rules according to Boob and Michelle.  She was so proud to be the first daughter to enter into a courtship, to have a big wedding, (as sad as that was) she got pregnant on her honeymoon per Boob's command and now life is just not turning out as she was hoping. She's probably wondering what did I do wrong?  Why wasn't I blessed?

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15 hours ago, saylubee said:

Only problem is Derick could block the boys from TV and probably would.  A show with just Jill would be worse then watching paint dry.

Unless maybe it is a dating show? Naw...still probably as boring as watching paint dry.

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4 hours ago, Caracoa1 said:

I actually do feel sorry for Jill.  She's a big Kool-Aid Drinker and she followed all the rules according to Boob and Michelle.  She was so proud to be the first daughter to enter into a courtship, to have a big wedding, (as sad as that was) she got pregnant on her honeymoon per Boob's command and now life is just not turning out as she was hoping. She's probably wondering what did I do wrong?  Why wasn't I blessed?

I thought Jessa was the first one to enter a courtship. If Jill's life has not turn out the way she wanted, she needs to take part of the blame. She wanted to be married first and get all the attention being the first Duggar daughter to get married and get pregnant right away. She thought she was in love with Derick when all she wanted to do was play house and have babies with the first guy who paid attention to her.

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7 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I agree and in addition to Jill, I lay some of the blame with JB. Jill is a dumb, naive, sheltered girl. I think Boob should've stepped in and advised Jill not to rush into anything, especially considering their entire courtship was long distance and  they'd barely seen each other in person before getting engaged. But of course all Boob saw was $$$ and ratings, so he pushed it through. Now they're stuck, unhappy with each other, seemingly hating parenthood and booted off the show. Not exactly the fairy tale existence Jilly was hoping for.

There are not enough likes in the universe for this post. You have definitely hit it on the nail.

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It's sad because when you barely allow your kids to know someone before marriage, statistically, some are not going to turn out happy! I have a friend who made the same kind of mistake...met a new guy before she was even officially divorced and moved in with him after like 2 dates, got engaged in like a month (first thing she said was, "if we don't work out, I can sell the ring!") and was still seeing another guy behind his back after the engagement! However, it does seem to be a happy accident, because now they have been married almost two years, and have a great marriage. Just by luck, SOME of the courtships are going to work out, but a lot won't! I would never encourage others to make the choices my friend did just because she got lucky. 

Another thing I have wondered about is the fact that the Duggars aren't marrying people exclusively who grew up Gothard. I wonder if hardcore IBLP bigwigs would have an easier time accepting that the Duggar girls are quite limited in what they could do. I think Derick thought Jill would be useful as a midwife, probably expected her to work, and imagined that her lack of education wouldn't stop him from pursuing his dream. However, he grew up with a working mother, and attended a real college, where he saw lots of people in regular relationships with career-oriented women. Someone who grew up Gothard, on the other hand, would never have experienced this, and wouldn't mind their wife being useless as long as she was producing babies. At the same time, Jill would probably THINK she'd be happier if all Derick wanted was to constantly impregnate her (which thankfully doesn't seem to be happening). As awful as Joy's marriage to Nostrils seems, I don't think they're disappointed with each other. Nostrils has someone who will give him babies and follow his lead with the houses, and Joy has a provider. They probably  aren't happy, but also less disappointed in each other than Jill and Derick, since they are getting exactly what they signed up for!

  • Love 14
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6 hours ago, Caracoa1 said:

I actually do feel sorry for Jill.  She's a big Kool-Aid Drinker and she followed all the rules according to Boob and Michelle.  She was so proud to be the first daughter to enter into a courtship, to have a big wedding, (as sad as that was) she got pregnant on her honeymoon per Boob's command and now life is just not turning out as she was hoping. She's probably wondering what did I do wrong?  Why wasn't I blessed?

I really can't muster up that much sympathy for Jill.  Mostly because I cannot comprehend their version of Christianity.  The New Testament is filled with passages in both the Gospels and Paul's Letters talking about following Jesus is not easy and your reward for doing so would not be found on earth.  Why should Jill expect to be blessed while on earth?  I don't understand this disconnect between what is found in the Bible and the expectation of earthly blessings. 

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19 hours ago, BitterApple said:

They love salads, fruits and veggies? Since when?

 

18 hours ago, awaken said:

Ah hahahaha!  FU Twitter and interwebz!  We DO eat fruits and veggies!  Hilarious!   She got killed on the Twitter comments from her previous glop recipes! 

Exactly! Came here to say she probably read the criticisms here at PTV (if so, Hi, Jill!) but it was probably the twitter comments.

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Quote

In 2001, Arkansas passed the Covenant Marriage Act. Couples who choose this path are required to agree to pre-marital counselling by a clergyman or a therapist and a two-year “cooling-off” period before a divorce can be granted. The only exceptions are the three As: abuse, abandonment or adultery.

How about this "A"--Asshattery

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2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

It's sad because when you barely allow your kids to know someone before marriage, statistically, some are not going to turn out happy! I have a friend who made the same kind of mistake...met a new guy before she was even officially divorced and moved in with him after like 2 dates, got engaged in like a month (first thing she said was, "if we don't work out, I can sell the ring!") and was still seeing another guy behind his back after the engagement! However, it does seem to be a happy accident, because now they have been married almost two years, and have a great marriage. Just by luck, SOME of the courtships are going to work out, but a lot won't! I would never encourage others to make the choices my friend did just because she got lucky. 

Another thing I have wondered about is the fact that the Duggars aren't marrying people exclusively who grew up Gothard. I wonder if hardcore IBLP bigwigs would have an easier time accepting that the Duggar girls are quite limited in what they could do. I think Derick thought Jill would be useful as a midwife, probably expected her to work, and imagined that her lack of education wouldn't stop him from pursuing his dream. However, he grew up with a working mother, and attended a real college, where he saw lots of people in regular relationships with career-oriented women. Someone who grew up Gothard, on the other hand, would never have experienced this, and wouldn't mind their wife being useless as long as she was producing babies. At the same time, Jill would probably THINK she'd be happier if all Derick wanted was to constantly impregnate her (which thankfully doesn't seem to be happening). As awful as Joy's marriage to Nostrils seems, I don't think they're disappointed with each other. Nostrils has someone who will give him babies and follow his lead with the houses, and Joy has a provider. They probably  aren't happy, but also less disappointed in each other than Jill and Derick, since they are getting exactly what they signed up for!

My SIL, left her husband for a man and came home around Thanksgiving. By Christmas, the man she wanted to be with was out of the picture and she had a new boyfriend. He was at the family Christmas party, calling my FIL by his first time like they were old friends. He was helping her with her daughter as if he had been around for years. My husband didn't even meet my son until I had been dating him for about a year.  By July, they were married a year later divorced. There were police calls, suicide attempts..... and she found out he was gay. 

Isn't the saying marry in haste, repent at leisure? It a true saying when you don't believe in divorce. All these people marry in haste, some will work out others will not, but too bad, you're trapped. 

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My husband and I started dating when I was 18 and he was 20, but didn’t get married until I was 25 and he was 27 (and we lived together for the last 3 of those years before we were married). 

We knew each other REALLY well by the time we married - we knew each other as “kids” and became adults together. We went through deaths of family members and a natural disaster (Hurricane Katrina) together, so we’d seen how the other reacts when the going got tough before we were married. 

I can’t imagine marrying someone you haven’t known for a long time and spent a LOT of time with ALONE, especially since the Duggar’s culture doesn’t allow divorce. It seems like a really cruel thing to do to kids/young adults to promote marrying someone you’ve “courted” for 3 months and have never spent a large amount of time alone with. It seems like likely setting a lot of them up for failure and heartbreak but without the option to extract themselves from a failing marriage/decades of hurt, and it seems like caring parents would want that for their kids (but I know Fundies gonna Fundie). 

I hope the kids end up lucky and they grow with their spouses and hope that the first guy/girl to a come courting was indeed their soulmate, but...we can just look at some of the marriages and see that what each person wants/expected in the marriage was different...Jill and Derrick seem to be a good example of this. 

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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I think she expected to be the super fertile secondcoming of Michelle, able to easily get pregnant and have tons of kids. Of course, she has never thought about the costs of raising such a family, or whether she'd be a good mom, or she'd enjoy it, or DERICK would enjoy it, etc. All she knows is that script, which she aced by getting pregnant immediately! However, it appears that Derick is enforcing some sort of birth control, whether abstinence or something else, especially with that comment that they would have a baby next year, and along came Sammy! I think at this point she maaaaaay have realized being a parent isn't all sunshine and roses, but I'm not sure. She may think if she had a baby a year, things would be perfect once she got old enough to have sister moms!

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There is a part of me that is actually worried about Jill's mental health if something did go horribly wrong with Sammy's birth and she can't have any more children.  I mean this is her whole life plan.  Mission for Jesus while being a helpmeet and pumping out a ton of kids.  If she can't have kids, and seeing these 2 on social media, I don't think they need more kids.  Jobs, yes.  More kids now, no.  Then I wonder how she's coping.  Her hubby has gone into crazy land.  They've lost her income with TLC.  He "graduated" and got a "license" that gives him literally nothing.  No one wants to support them to go harass people into become their version of Christians.  I wonder when her laundry room breakdown is coming, and I'm guessing sooner rather than later.  Unfortunately I don't see anyone in the family getting her help or suggesting a divorce or job training for jill to support her family.

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If she can't have anymore children, Jilly will just join Chelle in the "zone" a floaty place where they adoringly gaze at their husbands and let others make sure their kids can count past the number of toes and fingers, get fed and raised at the big house while Jilly plays the preacher's wife role, following Dreck around  as he "guest" preaches...

Dreck will get to preach and will receive "love offerings"  from the congregation as payment for his sermon...it isn't a living wage but Dreck will be happier...a happy Dreck is a happy Jilly

Edited by humbleopinion
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Anyone think that the reason the most recent courtships seem to be allowed more 1 on 1 conversations and screen time is because Jill and  Derick weren’t allowed to? Josiah and Lauren had 5 hour skype sessions before officially courting. No chaperone was going to sit thererhat entire time. Maybe The girls parents have figured out there needs to be some actual honest conversations between the pairs. 

Lets’ face it- there is no way Jill and Derick had 1 meaningful conversation before the wedding. 

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6 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Anyone think that the reason the most recent courtships seem to be allowed more 1 on 1 conversations and screen time is because Jill and  Derick weren’t allowed to? Josiah and Lauren had 5 hour skype sessions before officially courting. No chaperone was going to sit thererhat entire time. Maybe The girls parents have figured out there needs to be some actual honest conversations between the pairs. 

Lets’ face it- there is no way Jill and Derick had 1 meaningful conversation before the wedding. 

I did notice something, when Lauren and Josiah were in the kitchen with the girls, they still seemed to be "alone" and even comfortable with each other. Maybe more talking time does help. 

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Has Jilly ever had a meaningful conversation ever?

She has been spoken to but never expected to answer in kind.....

She is like a trained parrot who spouts off platitudes and phrases but never asked to hold forth an opinion, to do critical thinking, to disseminate information to make decisions...

Never expected of her...

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Just now, humbleopinion said:

Has Jilly ever had a meaningful conversation ever?

She has been spoken to but never expected to answer in kind.....

She is like a trained parrot who spouts off platitudes and phrases but never asked to hold forth an opinion, to do critical thinking, to disseminate information to make decisions...

Never expected of her...

Similar to her “conversations” with Israel.

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1 hour ago, mythoughtis said:

Lets’ face it- there is no way Jill and Derick had 1 meaningful conversation before the wedding. 

Jill claimed she had a long list of questions for Derick to answer during their Skype sessions. Presumably he passed her test.

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2 minutes ago, graefin said:

Jill claimed she had a long list of questions for Derick to answer during their Skype sessions. Presumably he passed her test.

And Jim Bob’s.

Trying to picture Jill’s questions. Wouldn’t it be nice to meet someone , observe them, listen to them, interact with them, and learn about them that way?

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46 minutes ago, graefin said:

Jill claimed she had a long list of questions for Derick to answer during their Skype sessions. Presumably he passed her test.

He said whatever he thought JB and Michelle wanted to hear. Carefully rehearsed, google funny crazy on the internet, answers.  Not his actual opinions. Jill also didnt say her actual opinions, if she even knew what her opinions were. 

Had she and Derick actually been able to state real honest opinions to one another... they might not be married. Or they might be married with no children.  Of course, that would mean defying JB and Michelle like Jeremy and Jinger have. 

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2 hours ago, DragonFaerie said:

There is a part of me that is actually worried about Jill's mental health if something did go horribly wrong with Sammy's birth and she can't have any more children.  I mean this is her whole life plan.  Mission for Jesus while being a helpmeet and pumping out a ton of kids.  If she can't have kids, and seeing these 2 on social media, I don't think they need more kids.  Jobs, yes.  More kids now, no.  Then I wonder how she's coping.  Her hubby has gone into crazy land.  They've lost her income with TLC.  He "graduated" and got a "license" that gives him literally nothing.  No one wants to support them to go harass people into become their version of Christians.  I wonder when her laundry room breakdown is coming, and I'm guessing sooner rather than later.  Unfortunately I don't see anyone in the family getting her help or suggesting a divorce or job training for jill to support her family.

Once Jill has that laundry room breakdown, will MEshelle come over and help out with the grandkids like Grandma Mary helps her?  

Just Kidding!!!!

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Perhaps someone is more familiar with Twitter and can offer a reason. On Twitter pages there is a section titled “who to follow”. Derick’s no longer has that. I am assuming one can disable it , perhaps? Why would he, if that’s the case? The accounts to follow vary, so it’s not always the same. Here’s Jill’s, at the moment, as an example:

 

 

9694FAB5-8E47-4B38-B36B-F4C268DD7D54.jpeg

Edited by ginger90
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