Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[YupItsMe]

Maybe the church gifted them the house and the property it stands on in lieu of a salary, or gave them a reduced price on the house in lieu of partial salary?

Edited July 3, 2022 by YupItsMe

[Tdoc72]

6 hours ago, YupItsMe said:

Maybe the church gifted them the house and the property it stands on in lieu of a salary, or gave them a reduced price on the house in lieu of partial salary?

Maybe. But it still should be in their names. I wouldn’t have spent my savings on redoing a house that I don’t own. 

Edited July 4, 2022 by Tdoc72

[Stevie Nicks]

4 hours ago, Future Cat Lady said:

Even if they were gifted the house, 

I read that as "grifted" the house.. Which may not be far from the truth either. 

[SunnyBeBe]

I saw something on Netflix recently that reminded me of Jessa.  She really resembles the lead actress in this series that’s based on a true story.  Her expressions are also ver similar.  Not sure why it double posted link. 

Edited July 6, 2022 by SunnyBeBe

[GeeGolly]

3 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I saw something on Netflix recently that reminded me of Jessa.  She really resembles the lead actress in this series that’s based on a true story.  Her expressions are also ver similar.  Not sure why it double posted link. 

That's Andie MacDowell's daughter, Margaret Qualley . Great series!

[GeeGolly]

When comparing Jessa's 4 kids with Whitney Bates' 4 kids or Erin Bates' 5 kids the dynamics are so different. All three families have their prized firstborn boy, yet none are like Spurge. This leads me to believe Spurge lost his favored child status, hard and fast, when Ivy was born. In so many videos and pictures Spurgie looks like he's pouting through some type of correction, Henry is just being Henry and Ivy is enjoying her princess status. It makes me wonder if Ivy will soon join forces with Spurge if Fern dethrones her.

[farmgal4]

10 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I saw something on Netflix recently that reminded me of Jessa.  She really resembles the lead actress in this series that’s based on a true story.  Her expressions are also ver similar.  Not sure why it double posted link. 

Ooooh, I’m going to watch that ASAP!  Thank you for sharing!

[sagittarius sue]

40 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

When comparing Jessa's 4 kids with Whitney Bates' 4 kids or Erin Bates' 5 kids the dynamics are so different. All three families have their prized firstborn boy, yet none are like Spurge. This leads me to believe Spurge lost his favored child status, hard and fast, when Ivy was born. In so many videos and pictures Spurgie looks like he's pouting through some type of correction, Henry is just being Henry and Ivy is enjoying her princess status. It makes me wonder if Ivy will soon join forces with Spurge if Fern dethrones her.

Lord of the Flies---Duggar/Seewald version

[Tikichick]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

When comparing Jessa's 4 kids with Whitney Bates' 4 kids or Erin Bates' 5 kids the dynamics are so different. All three families have their prized firstborn boy, yet none are like Spurge. This leads me to believe Spurge lost his favored child status, hard and fast, when Ivy was born. In so many videos and pictures Spurgie looks like he's pouting through some type of correction, Henry is just being Henry and Ivy is enjoying her princess status. It makes me wonder if Ivy will soon join forces with Spurge if Fern dethrones her.

OMG, horrendous if anywhere near the truth.   These kids have a miserable enough lot in life.  I surely hope at the very least they can make the best out of their situation and band together with their siblings as true allies, friends and support -- true companions for some happy childhood memories and maybe an unbreakable network they can rely upon in the future when they attempt to make their way as adults.

[cmr2014]

30 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

OMG, horrendous if anywhere near the truth.   These kids have a miserable enough lot in life.  I surely hope at the very least they can make the best out of their situation and band together with their siblings as true allies, friends and support -- true companions for some happy childhood memories and maybe an unbreakable network they can rely upon in the future when they attempt to make their way as adults.

No. That -- very specifically -- is not possible.

It's a big Gothard thing to pit the children against each other so that they don't form a close bond and "band against" their parents. Children are encouraged, and even required, to tattle on each other about every imaginable infraction of the rules. They are required to "keep sweet" with each other, and only engage in the most superficial way possible. They're home schooled and they play indoors within earshot of their parents -- there's no privacy or autonomy, and there never will be.

It's possible that Jessa will lighten up a bit on the Gothard-dictated rules for the kids, but I doubt it. She's the most invested in insisting that she was raised the best-est possible way.

[SunnyBeBe]

2 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

No. That -- very specifically -- is not possible.

It's a big Gothard thing to pit the children against each other so that they don't form a close bond and "band against" their parents. Children are encouraged, and even required, to tattle on each other about every imaginable infraction of the rules. They are required to "keep sweet" with each other, and only engage in the most superficial way possible. They're home schooled and they play indoors within earshot of their parents -- there's no privacy or autonomy, and there never will be.

It's possible that Jessa will lighten up a bit on the Gothard-dictated rules for the kids, but I doubt it. She's the most invested in insisting that she was raised the best-est possible way.

I guess it does surprise me to see Fundie raised adult kids who stay devout.  Most of those I grew up with either completely rejected it and chose their own path of faith or went downhill with substance abuse, criminality, etc.  and far from Fundie lifestyle. I can’t recall even one person who grew up thinking it was a good thing.  It’s sort of like enduring a hellacious nightmare.  So, how does Jessa view her upbringing? She says her mother was the very best!  Hmmm……Denial?

[lascuba]

2 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I guess it does surprise me to see Fundie raised adult kids who stay devout.  Most of those I grew up with either completely rejected it and chose their own path of faith or went downhill with substance abuse, criminality, etc.  and far from Fundie lifestyle. I can’t recall even one person who grew up thinking it was a good thing.  It’s sort of like enduring a hellacious nightmare.  So, how does Jessa view her upbringing? She says her mother was the very best!  Hmmm……Denial?

I think their celebrity has a lot to do with it. It's one thing to grow up fundie with all the many, many, MANY issues involved in such an upbringing. It's another  to grow up as the public face of your belief system, having to "keep sweet" not just in your immediate surroundings but in front of millions, and living much more comfortably than you used to because of that. It's anyone's guess who would have rejected JB/M's beliefs if not for the fame, but I think it would have been a good number.

[Future Cat Lady]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I guess it does surprise me to see Fundie raised adult kids who stay devout.  Most of those I grew up with either completely rejected it and chose their own path of faith or went downhill with substance abuse, criminality, etc.  and far from Fundie lifestyle. I can’t recall even one person who grew up thinking it was a good thing.  It’s sort of like enduring a hellacious nightmare.  So, how does Jessa view her upbringing? She says her mother was the very best!  Hmmm……Denial?

I'm no shrink, but Jessa seems very uncomfortable outside of the Duggar/Fundie bubble. Maybe she's afraid of stepping out of it and stays in as a defense/protection mechanism?

[Salacious Kitty]

3 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

I'm no shrink, but Jessa seems very uncomfortable outside of the Duggar/Fundie bubble. Maybe she's afraid of stepping out of it and stays in as a defense/protection mechanism?

There's also her father's money. 

[SunnyBeBe]

Yeah….financial dependence can be enslaving.  I’m not sure how old her parents are, but maybe she feels that once her parents are old and feeble, she’ll be able to spread her wings.  That might take a few more years though.  Now is the time to live her best life.  

[Salacious Kitty]

JB and Meech are in their mid 50s, so it will be a while before they're old and feeble. 

[Absolom]

It will be almost 20 years if Steve Maxwell is a guide.  He was 69 or 70 before he loosened the bonds.  Jessa does seem to have never had a wish to spread her wings.  

[Adeejay]

49 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

I'm no shrink, but Jessa seems very uncomfortable outside of the Duggar/Fundie bubble. Maybe she's afraid of stepping out of it and stays in as a defense/protection mechanism?

When Ben sent Jessa on that elaborate scavenger hunt which culminated with a proposal, she appeared to be royally peeved at having to approach strangers for a clue.  If memory serves, Jinger was the one who asked for most of the clues.  

[Salacious Kitty]

4 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

When Ben sent Jessa on that elaborate scavenger hunt which culminated with a proposal, she appeared to be royally peeved at having to approach strangers for a clue.  If memory serves, Jinger was the one who asked for most of the clues.  

She had to collect a dozen roses from strangers in a town square. She couldn't do it. Jinger ended up bailing her out. 

[Future Cat Lady]

39 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Yeah….financial dependence can be enslaving.  I’m not sure how old her parents are, but maybe she feels that once her parents are old and feeble, she’ll be able to spread her wings.  That might take a few more years though.  Now is the time to live her best life.  

By the time her parents are old or dead, she'll have a dozen of kids. She won't be able to spread her wings much.

[lascuba]

35 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Yeah….financial dependence can be enslaving.  I’m not sure how old her parents are, but maybe she feels that once her parents are old and feeble, she’ll be able to spread her wings.  That might take a few more years though.  Now is the time to live her best life.  

JB and Michelle may not have beaten the attitude out of Jessa, but they sure seemed to have succeeded in killing any sense of adventure and ambition out of her.  It's like she continually clips her own wings to earn the approval she never got from them. Finances could be part of it, but I really think JB is too miserly for any contribution he might make to be that significant.

I'm no therapist, but one thing the social workers I know all say is that it's often the most abused children that are most loyal to their parents. I think that more than anything is what could be going on here.

[madpsych78]

2 minutes ago, lascuba said:

JB and Michelle may not have beaten the attitude out of Jessa, but they sure seemed to have succeeded in killing any sense of adventure and ambition out of her.  It's like she continually clips her own wings to earn the approval she never got from them. Finances could be part of it, but I really think JB is too miserly for any contribution he might make to be that significant.

I'm no therapist, but one thing the social workers I know all say is that it's often the most abused children that are most loyal to their parents. I think that more than anything is what could be going on here.

Any evidence that suggests that she once had any sense of adventure and ambition when she was younger?

[SunnyBeBe]

18 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

Any evidence that suggests that she once had any sense of adventure and ambition when she was younger?

I questioned Fundie ways and challenged their authority from a young age, but it wasn’t until I went away to college (state university) that I really saw it for what it was.  I suppose Jessa won’t ever get that opportunity.  But, she is free to read and explore any ideas she finds interesting.  

[GeeGolly]

The Duggar 19 started out JRod level of Fundy, but things changed when the money started rolling in, including being much less sheltered. I really doubt any of the kidults look back with horror at their childhoods. They all believe in the same religion they were raised in minus some Gothard bullshit. IMO, I think they would have to question their religion before they start questioning their parents' parenting.

I can't think of one adult who thinks their parents did everything right, and when adults become parents themselves they notice more about how they were raised, keeping what they like and dismissing what they didn't. I think we see that with the Duggars.

But anyway Fundyism is an abstract form of abuse so its harder to see than other forms of abuse, and even obvious forms of abuse are often dismissed by well educated adults who lived through it. I don't think any of the Duggar 19 are even close to being able to see their childhoods as abusive.

As far as Jessa, I think she feels safe within their beliefs, not realizing many of her beliefs are actually what make her feel fearful and unsafe to begin with.

[lascuba]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

Any evidence that suggests that she once had any sense of adventure and ambition when she was younger?

Beyond what most kids have naturally you mean?

Jessa was an actual child once. 

[Salacious Kitty]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

Any evidence that suggests that she once had any sense of adventure and ambition when she was younger?

The only time she challenged authority on camera was when she threatened to elope. But I think that was an empty threat, despite Jessa practically hating her own wedding. She couldn't even kiss in public.

[Ohiopirate02]

The Duggar kids also lack ambition and curiosity in general.  I don't think this is necessarily a byproduct of any blanket training or other abusive childrearing methods.  TLC really changed the way the Duggarlings were raised and JB used that to his advantage.  The show paid for the family to travel around the world and paid for them to do whatever activities JB and production could come up with for the show.  Then JB used the money from the show to give his kids whatever their little hearts desired (within reason).  This combination  made for kids who never had to work for anything and who never saw the need to dream any bigger than the TTH.  Jessa never dreamed of anything greater than the life she is living right now.  She has a husband who she can boss around, the requisite kids, and a home of her own.  What else does she need?  She doesn't even have to have a side hustle in order to put food on the table, Daddy has taken care of that.  

None of the Duggar kids were told if you want XYZ, then you need to go get a job to pay for it.  JB made XYZ happen.  It's no different than the many other offspring of wealthy people who never amount to anything because Daddy funds their lifestyle.  Every day I drive by the house of a man who is in his late 40s and his daddy still pays his bills.  MFer ran for mayor of our town last year despite doing time for driving drunk and vehicular manslaughter.  

[GeeGolly]

In Jessa's mind, JB & M raised 18 kids who love Jesus, don't smoke, drink or drug and aren't in jail, so I'm guessing she thinks they did a lot right. She'll follow the same script in hopes her kids stay out of trouble and love the right Jesus.

[jcbrown]

3 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

The only time she challenged authority on camera was when she threatened to elope. But I think that was an empty threat, despite Jessa practically hating her own wedding. She couldn't even kiss in public.

I actually give her credit for asserting herself in refusing to have her first-ever kiss in a performative setting. I can't imagine what it is like for these incredibly sheltered young women to wake up on their wedding days never having done anything but hold hands and be expected to be sexually intimate by day's end. Particularly because Jessa is a survivor of FF's abuse, I totally get her wanting their first kiss to be private.

[Jeanne222]

When are Ben and Jessa moving into the new home?  Gosh it seems like it's taking forever!

[SMama]

15 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I actually give her credit for asserting herself in refusing to have her first-ever kiss in a performative setting. I can't imagine what it is like for these incredibly sheltered young women to wake up on their wedding days never having done anything but hold hands and be expected to be sexually intimate by day's end. Particularly because Jessa is a survivor of FF's abuse, I totally get her wanting their first kiss to be private.

The FF had the gall to complain about their private kiss in a talking head. He said it wasn’t fair, which makes no sense. At the time it creeped me out. 

Edited July 7, 2022 by SMama

[Tikichick]

Haven't some of the 19 admitted to struggling with doubts about their faith in the past?  I think Joy said she did and I believe it was Joe who got her ear and counseled her.  What happens now if Joy runs into doubts and/or Austin comes across something that changes his influences?   Joe is reportedly on the outs with JB & M, but still all tied up with Kendra's cuckoo for coconuts bunch, but what happens if they too run into conflict? 

Time, spouses, inlaws, all have the potential of changing minds and shifting paths.     

[the-grey-lady]

23 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

It's a big Gothard thing to pit the children against each other so that they don't form a close bond and "band against" their parents.

Wait. So they're discouraged from forming close bonds with their eleventy-seven siblings...and they're discouraged from making friends outside of the family?

How terribly lonely.

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, Tikichick said:

Haven't some of the 19 admitted to struggling with doubts about their faith in the past?  I think Joy said she did and I believe it was Joe who got her ear and counseled her.  What happens now if Joy runs into doubts and/or Austin comes across something that changes his influences?   Joe is reportedly on the outs with JB & M, but still all tied up with Kendra's cuckoo for coconuts bunch, but what happens if they too run into conflict? 

Time, spouses, inlaws, all have the potential of changing minds and shifting paths.     

No one knows what Joy's crisis of faith was. It could have been about always wearing skirts, it could have been about waiting to date, etc. I doubt it was anything huge because she had already set hers sights on a Fundy for a husband.

[Ohiopirate02]

2 minutes ago, the-grey-lady said:

Wait. So they're discouraged from forming close bonds with their eleventy-seven siblings...and they're discouraged from making friends outside of the family?

How terribly lonely.

Yeah, their Umbrellas of Authority (TM) method does not allow for meaningful friendships.  Here's a visual

Your loyalties are always to those above you.  Boob and Mechelle expected their kids to snitch on each other in accordance to the umbrellas.  Hard to form any bonds when you can't trust those in the foxhole with you.

[Tikichick]

34 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

No one knows what Joy's crisis of faith was. It could have been about always wearing skirts, it could have been about waiting to date, etc. I doubt it was anything huge because she had already set hers sights on a Fundy for a husband.

I didn't realize she had indicated when the crisis happened.  

I wouldn't be surprised if the house of cards begins to sway and splinter in varying degrees as time goes on.   Michelle herself went from hussy harlot temptress to MOTY after a few years in the orbit of JB and his mother.   Any of the 19 could potentially change direction, subtly, wildly, or anything in between.   One of them is no doubt currently experiencing an entirely new walled off community much different from the one he grew up in.     

[Salacious Kitty]

1 hour ago, Tikichick said:

I didn't realize she had indicated when the crisis happened.  

I wouldn't be surprised if the house of cards begins to sway and splinter in varying degrees as time goes on.   Michelle herself went from hussy harlot temptress to MOTY after a few years in the orbit of JB and his mother.   Any of the 19 could potentially change direction, subtly, wildly, or anything in between.   One of them is no doubt currently experiencing an entirely new walled off community much different from the one he grew up in.     

All we know is that her "crisis" happened before Joe went to ALERT. So sometime in her early teens, I'm guessing.

[Lady Whistleup]

21 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

In Jessa's mind, JB & M raised 18 kids who love Jesus, don't smoke, drink or drug and aren't in jail, so I'm guessing she thinks they did a lot right. She'll follow the same script in hopes her kids stay out of trouble and love the right Jesus.

Josh Duggar has entered the chat ...

[Cinnabon]

1 minute ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Josh Duggar has entered the chat ...

Exactly right. Seems like JB and M did a lot wrong raising Josh.

[the-grey-lady]

20 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I actually give her credit for asserting herself in refusing to have her first-ever kiss in a performative setting.

I agree. And I think that was (possibly) Jessa's way of asserting a bit of individuality, so hard to do when you're one of a horde.

[CalicoKitty]

I think she asserted individuality with her parking lot reception with melted ice cream. That was certainly a one-of-a-kind wedding event.

[GeeGolly]

Fern's 1st birthday is in 10 days. Will she be celebrating on Big Birtha in the Mold House? Or will she get freezer iced ice cream at the House of Immanuel?

[Snow Fairy]

So new pregnancy announcement will follow soon?

[dargosmydaddy]

On 7/6/2022 at 8:48 AM, GeeGolly said:

It makes me wonder if Ivy will soon join forces with Spurge if Fern dethrones her.

I doubt Fern will ever dethrone her. Spurgeon is favored as the firstborn son. Ivy is favored as the firstborn daughter. Everyone else will just be part of the herd.

I do wonder if the potential (inevitable?) third daughter will be favored by Jessa, particularly if she's born next, because she'll mirror Jessa in birth order, but probably not. I think she already sees Ivy as her "mini me," and will expect Fern to be Ivy's Jinger-esque tag-along acolyte.

Of course if any future child is particularly adorable and precocious after Ivy has outgrown that stage, said future-child might be in favor for a few years to increase Youtube views. 

Edited July 9, 2022 by dargosmydaddy

[GeeGolly]

Jessa has a house video up. I haven't watched it yet.

[Dimi1]

Just now, GeeGolly said:

Jessa has a house video up. I haven't watched it yet.

I did...fast forwarded through most of it...she is thinking of changing the razor blade kitchen pulls...its her voice...she needs to watch ted talk and get some pointers on public speaking...

[Madtown]

Here is the video.

[Nysha]

9 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

So new pregnancy announcement will follow soon?

I've kind of been thinking about what Jessa will name her next baby girl. I'm guessing she'll keep with the plant theme so I think these names may come up:

Briar: it's showing up on a lot of name lists lately although it may be too fairy tale for Jessa

Calla: a pretty flower name that flows better when it doesn't precede Lily.

Cicely: a pretty herb name

Clover: a type of ground cover much like Ivy and Fern

Juniper: a tree but 'June' names are becoming quite popular 

Laurel: probably too close to Lauren

Olive: it's a tree but it fits nicely with Ivy and Fern

Wisteria: probably not, but it's off-beat and pretty

Edited July 8, 2022 by Nysha

[Gemma Violet]

32 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I've kind of been thinking about what Jessa will name her next baby girl. I'm guessing she'll keep with the plant theme so I think these names may come up:

Maybe she'll do flowers next.  I'd go with Rose, Violet, or Daisy.  I've always loved those names.  And there's also Lily and Iris.

[Notabug]

55 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Here is the video.

I actually sat and watched the video.  Just the usual boring stuff, Jessa blathering on about nothing while the kids screech in the background.  The one thing I noticed is that, in addition to the 'artwork' done in permanent marker on the kitchen cupboards; it looks like there is even more black marker on the door from the outside into the kitchen.  Looks terrible.  Jessa says she is probably not going to do anything about the damage to the cupboard doors since the stools on the island will cover most of it anyway, but there is no hiding the fact that at least half the kitchen door is covered in black marker.  It is possible to prime and paint that, I don't know why she wouldn't.