Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[ginger90]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Jessa changed her IG profile picture. She may have also changed her talent contact. If she tries to go full-on influencer, we'll know the money is drying up.

 

[ozziemom]

Hopefully Jessa will follow the advice of this talent group and up her SM game. Otherwise I can’t see her making much $$ on a consistent basis. 

[Churchhoney]

15 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Hopefully Jessa will follow the advice of this talent group and up her SM game. Otherwise I can’t see her making much $$ on a consistent basis. 

On youtube, she gets by far the most views out of the "birth stories." .... By far.... 

Maybe she'll follow her parents' lead and decide that's where her fortune lies....and start poppin' 'em out at an ever faster rate. 😁

[ozziemom]

4 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

On youtube, she gets by far the most views out of the "birth stories." .... By far.... 

Maybe she'll follow her parents' lead and decide that's where her fortune lies....and start poppin' 'em out at an ever faster rate. 😁

I can just imagine Jessa meeting with new SM advisor and hearing, well looks like you need to have a baby every year to maximize your earning potential. 😂

[GeeGolly]

Or maybe Ben could get a real job and contribute to the household income.

[Churchhoney]

51 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Or maybe Ben could get a real job and contribute to the household income.

I checked the Magic 8 ball.  It said "Don't count on it."

Can't imagine why. Although maybe it's that he was a super-sheltered child and not even close to an adult when he married and started assisting in the popping out of kids.....

And since he married, he's lived in an isolated compound with a swelling number of so-called "adult children" who also never get actual jobs (because the devil might get you if you work among heathens) but only hang out with their siblings taking daddy-subsidized ski trips and doing chores assigned by daddy. And Bin's unhappy with the marriage his child self insisted on, so he's taking the line of least resistance and following their lazy-minded lead. 

I actually do feel somewhat sorry for both Jessa and Bin because I think they're stunted partly through the fault of the institutions they grew up in and not through their own fault. BUT.....now it's time to wake up and smell the coffee because you're in danger of raising your own innocent children in the exact same way -- and it's not a way that works, long term. .... (I don't think Jessa has a clue that this is true, but I think Bin might have an inkling -- since he's not a real Duggar and can see people in his own family doing things a bit differently-- yet he apparently isn't doing a damn thing about it.) 

 

Edited October 31, 2021 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

5 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I checked the Magic 8 ball.  It said "Don't count on it."

Can't imagine why. Although maybe it's that he was a super-sheltered child and not even close to an adult when he married and started assisting in the popping out of kids.....

And since he married, he's lived in an isolated compound with a swelling number of so-called "adult children" who also never get actual jobs (because the devil might get you if you work among heathens) but only hang out with their siblings taking daddy-subsidized ski trips and doing chores assigned by daddy. 

Yet he has a dad and siblings who have real jobs that support themselves and their families.

And if Jessa can't pull it together as an influencer, Ben just may have to figure out a way to support those kids he assisted in popping out.

[Churchhoney]

5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Yet he has a dad and siblings who have real jobs that support themselves and their families.

And if Jessa can't pull it together as an influencer, Ben just may have to figure out a way to support those kids he assisted in popping out.

Jessa being unable to make a full living as an influencer would be the best thing ever to happen to Bin. Wake him up and force him to grapple with reality. It's clearly going to take a big shock. Because most people in his position would at least have grabbed a part-time gig with DoorDash by now.  

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Or maybe Ben could get a real job and contribute to the household income.

No shit!  There’s no excuse for him not working at least 40 hours/week and making an hourly wage plus benefits, and he can still pastor a small church.  My pastor is a school guidance counselor.  He does that along with leading 3 church services/week and pastoral duties (visiting the sick, for example).  Ben should be ashamed of himself for not stepping up and being a responsible husband and father.  Businesses all over America are BEGGING for employees.  He’s a complete loser for not having a decent paying full-time job. 

[Ljohnson1987]

Maybe Jessa and Ben will get real jobs, or real educations. 

[BetyBee]

7 minutes ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

Maybe Jessa and Ben will get real jobs, or real educations. 

Ben may have a mild interest in furthering his education, but I suspect Jessa thinks she knows everything already. 

[Cinnabon]

5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

Cutting edge? 🤣🤣🤣

[Lisa418722]

1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

No shit!  There’s no excuse for him not working at least 40 hours/week and making an hourly wage plus benefits, and he can still pastor a small church.  My pastor is a school guidance counselor.  He does that along with leading 3 church services/week and pastoral duties (visiting the sick, for example).  Ben should be ashamed of himself for not stepping up and being a responsible husband and father.  Businesses all over America are BEGGING for employees.  He’s a complete loser for not having a decent paying full-time job. 

The church I went to when I was growing up was a small church (it still is).  The minister worked full time in HR in a large factory in our county.  He was still available to minister to the church.  There is no reason Ben cannot get a job (replacing windshields maybe??) and still be able to pastor at a church.  I think Jessa should also find a job and put Spurge into kindergarten, but we know women aren't allowed to that in the Duggar family.  

[Zella]

Yeah I have a hard time feeling any sympathy for them on the income thing. I know larger churches usually do have full-time ministers, but it was never a feature of any of the churches I attended as a child. The preachers all worked full-time at other jobs and then did their pastoral work on the weekends and in the evenings. Many of them got paid a pretty paltry token fee for their services, too, and some of them refused it as a matter of principle. 

Ben must not be a subscriber to the tentmaker philosophy about being a pastor. LOL

[lookeyloo]

Do we know for sure that Ben doesn't have any kind of paying job?  We don't see it advertised but maybe that is on purpose.  

[Churchhoney]

16 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Do we know for sure that Ben doesn't have any kind of paying job?  We don't see it advertised but maybe that is on purpose.  

I think we're basing our conclusion here on something W/o a CB Katie said recently. She said somebody who presumably is part of Duggarworld told her that Bin's been talking about how Jessa's social media is their main source of income and that while he does get some pay for his sermonizing, it's not much.

Notably, virtually all the pastors-with-second-and-third-jobs folks have mentioned do more pastoring than just a sermon-most-weeks. As far as I can tell, the church that pays Bin for his sermon-most-weeks doesn't do anything else or even have an actual congregation remaining at all....So we can imagine how little his "pay" there is.....I don't know whether he's still a teacher at the TTH SOTDRT.....Has anything been said one way or the other about that recently?  

Anyway.....I'm pretty sure WOACB is the only source we have for deciding he has no job other than his weekly sermons. (and maybe some TTH "teaching"? or not? )   And it may or may not be credible. ....Whichever, though, I think it's the only report I've ever seen or heard on the question of whether he does or doesn't have other work, despite the fact that a whole lot of people have long wanted to know, both here and elsewhere.  So it may be wrong, but it seems to be all we've got. ... So we're all running with it. 😁

Sounds like something Amy might have mentioned to Without? 

Edited October 31, 2021 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

56 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Do we know for sure that Ben doesn't have any kind of paying job?  We don't see it advertised but maybe that is on purpose.  

No we don't know. I lean toward him not having a job because I think he would have been super-sleuthed outed, if he had one. 

[Minivanessa]

3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

No we don't know. I lean toward him not having a job because I think he would have been super-sleuthed outed, if he had one. 

Me too. I wouldn't believe WOACB about anything. 

[GeeGolly]

Just now, Jeeves said:

Me too. I wouldn't believe WOACB about anything. 

Nor would I.

[lookeyloo]

i guess one day we will find out

[Ljohnson1987]

Jessa will be smug no matter what she does. It's awful. 

[emmawoodhouse]

5 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

Cutting edge? 🤣🤣🤣

Well look at her come hither picture. How old is that? 🤣

[madpsych78]

8 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Jessa being unable to make a full living as an influencer would be the best thing ever to happen to Bin. Wake him up and force him to grapple with reality. It's clearly going to take a big shock. Because most people in his position would at least have grabbed a part-time gig with DoorDash by now.  

Although not a pastor, at least Derick worked at Grub Hub while being a father and going to law school.

And Pastor Caldwell did work as a mechanic in addition to being a pastor.

So yeah, Bin should step up.

[ozziemom]

Jessa is always so defensive when asked about what Bin is doing or really anything related to him that we’ve assumed it must not be much. I doubt WOACB knows what Bin is up to either, she just seems to speculate based on some connection to maybe Amy, maybe she just reads Reddit. There’s not been anything said about SOTDRT lately, the Duggars were traveling for quite awhile. No one has posted any pictures of major gatherings at TTH either, so who knows what’s going on.

[Ljohnson1987]

Jessa probably thinks she deserves to be a famous influencer, because of her maiden name. It doesn't work that way, Princess Jessa. 

[emmawoodhouse]

21 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Jessa is always so defensive when asked about what Bin is doing or really anything related to him that we’ve assumed it must not be much. I doubt WOACB knows what Bin is up to either, she just seems to speculate based on some connection to maybe Amy, maybe she just reads Reddit. There’s not been anything said about SOTDRT lately, the Duggars were traveling for quite awhile. No one has posted any pictures of major gatherings at TTH either, so who knows what’s going on.

Saw a pic of Jer (I think) holding baby Fern at one of the TTH Monday night get-togethers fairly recently. 

[Zella]

2 hours ago, ozziemom said:

Jessa is always so defensive when asked about what Bin is doing or really anything related to him that we’ve assumed it must not be much.

Yeah she is incredibly defensive about it. It doesn't come across as "We're just keeping this quiet to preserve privacy." It comes across as "fuck you for reminding me what a loser I'm married to. kthnxbye."

[GeeGolly]

4 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yeah she is incredibly defensive about it. It doesn't come across as "We're just keeping this quiet to preserve privacy." It comes across as "fuck you for reminding me what a loser I'm married to. kthnxbye."

Yup. One time an IG commenter asked what Ben did for work. Jessa's answer was, they were happily married.

[Zella]

15 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Yup. One time an IG commenter asked what Ben did for work. Jessa's answer was, they were happily married.

#SayingsofJessa

[GeeGolly]

I guess being married to Jessa is a full time job.

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I guess being married to Jessa is a full time job.

It's a self-own right up there with them unironically calling the TTH "The Big House." Every time they say that, all I can think is "Y'all don't know that means jail?"

Edited: Also when they call marriage "doing life together." 😂

Edited November 1, 2021 by Zella

[lascuba]

46 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Yup. One time an IG commenter asked what Ben did for work. Jessa's answer was, they were happily married.

The levels to which Jessa told on herself there still boggles my mind. Up until that point, I had kind of assumed that they were--well, not happy, exactly, but content. That they had reached a level of stability and understanding that worked for them and kept things running smoothly. But that comment let me know that she was deeply unhappy beyond the baseline level of unhappiness I assume of all fundie marriages.

[Zella]

1 minute ago, lascuba said:

The levels to which Jessa told on herself there still boggles my mind. Up until that point, I had kind of assumed that they were--well, not happy, exactly, but content. That they had reached a level of stability and understanding that worked for them and kept things running smoothly. But that comment let me know that she was deeply unhappy beyond the baseline level of unhappiness I assume of all fundie marriages.

I never particularly watched the show, but one episode I did see out of morbid curiosity was the marriage retreat episode because I was interested in seeing how they all interacted. . It probably helped that Josiah and Lauren were so toxic with each other that everyone else seemed comparatively normal, but the main thing I noticed about Ben and Jessa is they just seemed so apathetic and indifferent toward each other. Mutually assured destruction got us through our cold war, and I guess mutually assured apathy gets them through theirs. 

[lascuba]

1 minute ago, Zella said:

I never particularly watched the show, but one episode I did see out of morbid curiosity was the marriage retreat episode because I was interested in seeing how they all interacted. . It probably helped that Josiah and Lauren were so toxic with each other that everyone else seemed comparatively normal, but the main thing I noticed about Ben and Jessa is they just seemed so apathetic and indifferent toward each other. Mutually assured destruction got us through our cold war, and I guess mutually assured apathy gets them through theirs. 

I guess apathy is better than anger, which I remember was emanating from Ben in the first CO specials. He really expected to be ride the Duggar coattails onto preacher fame and Josh--and his own lack of talent and charisma--ruined that for him. 

[Lady Whistleup]

I think Jessa and Bin were "reasonably happy" for the first few years. That's when pheromones from the honeymoon are still there. 

But being in a tiny house all day with each other and with four little ones crawling around, they just both seem to be in this funk. 

[GeeGolly]

The marriage retreat episode was a gift to anyone with interest in the Duggars. It was so telling. Ben and Jessa had been married only 4 or 5 years by then and I remember thinking Jessa didn't realize there was anything more to a marriage than being available to make her husband a "sandwich". They looked like a couple, who after being married for some 30 odd years, had settled into a best friend routine, rather than two young 'newlyweds' still excited to be with each other.

The episode made me wonder about what examples of marriage they had seen. It kind of put JB's urge to always be touching Michelle in a different light. It made me think maybe Michelle pretty much ignored JB behind closed doors, unless it was sandwich time.

[floridamom]

Ben and Jessa bought their house from Grandma Mary for $100,000 cash. The money came from somewhere. They may be better off than we think. No mortgage, no cable tv bill, no car payment....how much does it actually cost them to live every month? Maybe not that much and they could be in to saving what's left. She should have answered the question about what Ben does for a living...hiding these things seems silly to me. If he's a part time preacher, why not just say so. Jessa is such a bitch.

[lascuba]

 

7 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

The marriage retreat episode was a gift to anyone with interest in the Duggars. It was so telling. Ben and Jessa had been married only 4 or 5 years by then and I remember thinking Jessa didn't realize there was anything more to a marriage than being available to make her husband a "sandwich". They looked like a couple, who after being married for some 30 odd years, had settled into a best friend routine, rather than two young 'newlyweds' still excited to be with each other.

The episode made me wonder about what examples of marriage they had seen. It kind of put JB's urge to always be touching Michelle in a different light. It made me think maybe Michelle pretty much ignored JB behind closed doors, unless it was sandwich time.

That was my impression as well. I got the sense that they had realized that their differences didn't balance each other out but instead made them fundamentally incompatible, and they'd figured out how to get along within that framework.

4 hours ago, floridamom said:

Ben and Jessa bought their house from Grandma Mary for $100,000 cash. The money came from somewhere. They may be better off than we think. No mortgage, no cable tv bill, no car payment....how much does it actually cost them to live every month? Maybe not that much and they could be in to saving what's left. She should have answered the question about what Ben does for a living...hiding these things seems silly to me. If he's a part time preacher, why not just say so. Jessa is such a bitch.

 I've known quite a few people--often small business owners--who live extremely well even when it looks like they can't possibly be pulling in that much cash. Make of that what you will, but Jessa and Ben having more money than one would assume wouldn't surprise me, though I do still wonder where the money comes from, because I'm cynical and from New Jersey, so my mind atomically jumps to organized crime even though I know that can't always be the case.

I really think that Ben has either forbidden Jessa from sharing anything about his work on social media, or he really does absolutely nothing to generate income, blames her/fer family for it, and she resents the hell out of him for either of those options.

[GeeGolly]

I know I sound like a broken record, but if we look at the Gosselins, Duggars, Bates and even the folks on Life Below Zero, the one thing they have in common is their income dramatically increased after getting reality shows.

I think Jessa and Ben purchased the house 4 or 5 years ago. They still had TLC income then. Who knows how much, if any, they've saved, but IMO, they no longer have their primary source of income. Even if their monthly expenses are small they still have 4 kids and 2 adults to feed and clothe.

I'm guessing the adult marrieds, including Jessa and Ben, are a wee bit panicked at this point, seeing as they all were basically fired from their jobs.

JB has the luxury of sitting on real estate over time and selling when profitable. I don't see any of the Duggar 19 being in that same position. Maybe there's enough 'jobs' to go around for the adult sons, with maintenance of properties and the car lot, but I don't see them bringing in much more than minimum wage. A significant change from the income from TLC.

And at this point, it doesn't seem Ben is working for JB.

 

[MargeGunderson]

Honestly, I don’t blame Jessa for being frustrated, if she is. According to her faith, her husband is supposed to provide for her and their family. It doesn’t seem like he is. I think his ambitions are very vague, and if it is to be a pastor, he should know he’s not going to make great money at it. I think Jessa is doing what she can to support the family, especially with the cancellation of the show, and within the bounds appropriate for her marriage. I wouldn’t be good friends with Jessa for a lot of reasons, but I’m fine with her attempt to make money when her headship won’t.

[lascuba]

41 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Honestly, I don’t blame Jessa for being frustrated, if she is. According to her faith, her husband is supposed to provide for her and their family. It doesn’t seem like he is. I think his ambitions are very vague, and if it is to be a pastor, he should know he’s not going to make great money at it. I think Jessa is doing what she can to support the family, especially with the cancellation of the show, and within the bounds appropriate for her marriage. I wouldn’t be good friends with Jessa for a lot of reasons, but I’m fine with her attempt to make money when her headship won’t.

That's exactly it, I think. He wants to be a preacher and make good money while doing it. In many respects, he's cut from the same mold as Derick and Jeremy, except Derick started marriage with a career, and while he chased his missionary dreams, he was able to adjust when he finally came to terms that it wasn't going to happen like he wanted it to. Jeremy was older and more experienced generally, and while still chasing the famous preacher dream, he's been able to make the type of connections to give those dreams the illusion of viability. He's also just more practical that Ben, and can adjust his worldview more easily to suit his current ambitions. Ben had all the dreams and none of the practicality, savvy, or flexibility to either make them work or move on to something more lucrative. I think he blames a lot of his frustrations on Jessa, and she resents him both for that and his inability to provide financially. It's pretty clear from the way she posts that she has no interest in being an influencer, but that's the only way for her to make the money to support her family.

 

[Minivanessa]

51 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Honestly, I don’t blame Jessa for being frustrated, if she is. According to her faith, her husband is supposed to provide for her and their family. It doesn’t seem like he is. I think his ambitions are very vague, and if it is to be a pastor, he should know he’s not going to make great money at it. I think Jessa is doing what she can to support the family, especially with the cancellation of the show, and within the bounds appropriate for her marriage. I wouldn’t be good friends with Jessa for a lot of reasons, but I’m fine with her attempt to make money when her headship won’t.

I see your point. But OTOH if Ben really wants a career in the ministry that will pay enough to support his family, he needs to be willing to move away from his current location if that's where an opening is. Maybe that's a crunch point in their marriage. Ben might be open to moving away from the TTH neighborhood, but Jessa's not. As in, she'll move when hell freezes over. That leaves Ben with slim pickings in the pastor business if he has to stay local.

I wonder if, when horny teenaged Ben was courting hot Duggar daughter Jessa, he knew he wanted to be a minister, and if so if he'd thought it through as to whether he could make a go of it by never leaving JB's back yard almost literally. 

[Madtown]

Screen shots from Jessa’s Insta-Story

 

Edited November 1, 2021 by Madtown

[ginger90]

 

4 pictures:

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CVvqdsmLMZb/

[BitterApple]

Why is Bin dressed like an Amish serial killer?

Fern is a beautiful baby.

It's always a pet peeve of mine when they record in public places and don't limit their footage to the people they're with. I doubt the guy standing behind Bin wants to be on camera for Jessa's two million followers.

Edited November 1, 2021 by BitterApple

[SMama]

What is Ben carrying. I’m on my phone and my eyes are bad. My first thought was why is Ben dressed as a Hasidic Jew for Halloween?

[Madtown]

[ginger90]

Ben looks thrilled. I saw the video, and it’s not just the still pictures that make me say that. He looked miserable.

[Zella]

I was trying to figure out his Halloween costume before realizing it wasn't a costume. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[GeeGolly]

Is that what young pastors wear on dates these days?