Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[farmgal4]

3 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Jessa in that saggy baggy rumpled cardigan with her big long mop of hair, looks like she just rolled out of bed. Has she no clue how sloppy she looks in those photos? Does she ever think that there might - somewhere in the world, even at a thrift store near her - be a cardigan that, oh, I don't know, FITS her arms and torso while still modestly covering her oh-so-tempting HOT DUGGAR DAUGHTER arms and shoulders and breasts?

I’ll bet Ben wonders what happened to the hot girl he married.  She really has let herself go.

[iwantcookies]

Can’t Jessa style Spurs hair to match Ben? 

[iwantcookies]

10 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

I’ll bet Ben wonders what happened to the hot girl he married.  She really has let herself go.

Wait until she has 3 more. She will just wear a nightgown everywhere with flip flops. 

[CalicoKitty]

2 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

As entry level, I have a feeling this is the type of position he landed. Is a church really going to entrust itself to a 25 year old rookie pastor? Even Jeremy was older when he got his gig at what appears to have been a much smaller church.

eta: Can we talk about Jessa as a pastor's wife? 😂😂😂😂😂

Some church hired Pecan Thief, so I guess anything is possible.  I have always felt that Ben has more on the ball than people think.  I do think it is very odd that the church name was not mentioned.  In the picture, it did look like an actual building and not a house.  I do not see Jessa as a Pastor's wife, however.  I think she is too self-centered.

 

[emmawoodhouse]

40 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Some church hired Pecan Thief, so I guess anything is possible.  I have always felt that Ben has more on the ball than people think.  I do think it is very odd that the church name was not mentioned.  In the picture, it did look like an actual building and not a house.  I do not see Jessa as a Pastor's wife, however.  I think she is too self-centered.

 

Pecan Thief is also in his mid 30s and went on the stump for ATI on the regular for years. He's pretty accomplished at getting out a message. Much moreso than young Ben. No, I haven't had a chance to sample the sermon, but being better than Jeremy is still a very low bar. 😁

[Churchhoney]

10 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Pecan Thief is also in his mid 30s and went on the stump for ATI on the regular for years. He's pretty accomplished at getting out a message. Much moreso than young Ben. No, I haven't had a chance to sample the sermon, but being better than Jeremy is still a very low bar. 😁

Definitely true that Bin isn't nearly as adept at this point as DW! (I've  heard a couple of DW's sermons).

But, to my ears, Bin and DW share the very important qualities of being able to deliver sermons like real people talking to other people, and of delivering talks that they've clearly thought about and in which they make efforts to relate the message to people's actual lives and to be clear and make sense. You can tell that they've thought about what they're saying, and they're communicating.

They're conversational, they have a range of emotions and tones of voice, they explain things, they use some vivid and lively language, they have positive aspects to their messages, they show some humor and some personal humility, they alert the congregation to where they are in their talks and where they're going. they speak right to the people they're addressing. Bin has a long way to go, of course. But he does all these things, though at a beginner level. He's on the right track, though. 

I haven't heard Jer preach lately, although I have heard various podcasts. And I heard at least parts of quite a few of his sermons in Laredo, all the way through to the very last ones he did there. And I have yet to hear him demonstrate any of the positive aspects of the way the other two talk!

Even in his kind of bumbling beginner way, Bin clearly gets what he ought to be doing....so he's got a foundation to build on.  

Jer.....he drones, he's pompous and pretentious beyond belief, he doesn't seem to even try to connect with people, he never explains anything clearly, he's illogical and wandering, his talks sound completely unplanned, his range of emotion is really really narrow, he has absolutely no humor or humility, and he's mostly just grumpy and judgmental. If he wants to build, he'd better start hauling in a decent foundation because he hasn't even got one yet! (unless he's magically changed very recently -- and, really, to change enough to even be at Bin's level I think he'd need both a personality transplant and a voicebox transplant!).

It's going to really annoy me if Jer somehow ends up making a bunch of money from his religiosity. But I think he may well do it -- despite also thinking the best grade he'll ever get for sermonizing and other public talking is "hopeless"-- because he does have the very important quality of being a world-class suckup. Bin can outpreach him every time, though, I think. But I fear that Jer has the really valuable money skill, much as I hate to say it.  😈

 

 

Edited January 11, 2021 by Churchhoney

[emmawoodhouse]

It appears that this Sunday night service that Ben preached at is almost like an open mike for aspiring ministers. 😁 I wonder how many times he got to practice there? 

Listening now. He's far more relatable than Jeremy, and this sermon is almost two years old. 

eta that I got nosy and googled the church. Ben is not listed as current staff there, so we can eliminate University Baptist Fayetteville from possible employers. 

Edited January 11, 2021 by emmawoodhouse

[floridamom]

So, does this mean that Jim Bob now has to listen and learn from Ben? Somehow, I don't see that happening. Jim Bob Duggar stands second to no one.

[NotthebadVictoria]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

So, does this mean that Jim Bob now has to listen and learn from Ben? Somehow, I don't see that happening. Jim Bob Duggar stands second to no one.

He’s probably taking over the church of JBs shack outback so he can clean toilets when he’s finished speaking.

[ginger90]

He’s been doing podcasts through Immanuel Baptist Church in Springdale. Perhaps that’s the precious church.  🤷🏼‍♀️

[lascuba]

I can't get past "precious church."

14 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

It appears that this Sunday night service that Ben preached at is almost like an open mike for aspiring ministers. 😁 I wonder how many times he got to practice there? 

Listening now. He's far more relatable than Jeremy, and this sermon is almost two years old. 

eta that I got nosy and googled the church. Ben is not listed as current staff there, so we can eliminate University Baptist Fayetteville from possible employers. 

Not to give Ben any praise, because fuck that guy, but, he does seem to "preach" from a place of (100% misbegotten) sincerity, whereas Jeremy is trying way too hard to be inspirational.

[Albanyguy]

1 hour ago, lascuba said:

I can't get past "precious church."

 

Is a "precious church" one that is filled with "sweet friends"?

[Madtown]

Edited January 11, 2021 by Madtown

[zoomama]

^^^ 3rd photo is so cute!   impish smile...

[iwantcookies]

49 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

 

Is a "precious church" one that is filled with "sweet friends"?

Of course 

[Kiss my mutt]

As much as we don’t need another fundie preacher, I’d kinda love it if he blew that vainglorious Jeremy out of the water as a pastor. 

[floridamom]

Is Ben "A" pastor or is he THE pastor of that precious church? Is he actually employed or is that church merely going to allow him to give a sermon every once in a while? How does that pay the bills for a family of 5...and growing?

[Temperance]

12 hours ago, floridamom said:

Is Ben "A" pastor or is he THE pastor of that precious church? Is he actually employed or is that church merely going to allow him to give a sermon every once in a while? How does that pay the bills for a family of 5...and growing?

Many churches have multiple pastors on the payroll.  Ben is not the head pastor, but I believe he is working for the church. It could be an interim position where they try him out. However I think I read that he is officially with the church, but the church has a few pastors and he's the newest hire/bottom rung. Either way it's good for him to be working towards something and getting his foot in the door.  Most denominations you have to work your way up to senior pastor. I believe the priests used to that, but now there's a shortage of priests. 

I think Ben has more of education than David Waller and less of formal connection to a cult and that may help in the long term. 

[DangerousMinds]

3 hours ago, Temperance said:

Many churches have multiple pastors on the payroll.  Ben is not the head pastor, but I believe he is working for the church. It could be an interim position where they try him out. However I think I read that he is officially with the church, but the church has a few pastors and he's the newest hire/bottom rung. Either way it's good for him to be working towards something and getting his foot in the door.  Most denominations you have to work your way up to senior pastor. I believe the priests used to that, but now there's a shortage of priests. 

I think Ben has more of education than David Waller and less of formal connection to a cult and that may help in the long term. 

Idk, he’s married to Jessa and dependent on the Duggars, and his parents (or at least his mom) has gone way down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole.

[Temperance]

17 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Idk, he’s married to Jessa and dependent on the Duggars, and his parents (or at least his mom) has gone way down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole.

I'm aware of all this, but I'm not sure what you're getting at. 

If you mean he's more cultish or as cultish as David Waller, then I disagree. This stuff isn't good, but it doesn't go on his resume.  Your parents and in-laws aren't look at when you're hired for a job. David is older and almost his entire resume includes working at IBLP, which is a cult. He was very publicly involved with them. IBLP is on the decline, partly due to the accusations surrounding Gothard. Ben may a crazy ties, but none of them are professional. 

[Mindthinkr]

On 1/12/2021 at 7:54 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

As much as we don’t need another fundie preacher, I’d kinda love it if he blew that vainglorious Jeremy out of the water as a pastor. 

Your mouth to God’s ear  🙂

[Totally]

Maybe Bin is an unpaid lay pastor? 

[Zella]

13 minutes ago, Totally said:

Maybe Bin is an unpaid lay pastor? 

I initially misread this as "unlaid pay pastor" and had so many questions. 🤣

[emmawoodhouse]

Look how cute we are! 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CKKWCVvLZmA/?igshid=bklo3r3f2igc

[GeeGolly]

29 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Look how cute we are! 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CKKWCVvLZmA/?igshid=bklo3r3f2igc

Did they throw an old door, sideways, at the top of their mattress and call it a headboard?

[ginger90]

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Did they throw an old door, sideways, at the top of their mattress and call it a headboard?

It’s “rustic”, or some such nonsense!

[Albanyguy]

33 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

It’s “rustic”, or some such nonsense!

Nothing like an old wooden door with paint peeling and flaking off it to give a toddler like Ivy lead poisoning.

[iwantcookies]

On 1/14/2021 at 11:06 PM, Zella said:

I initially misread this as "unlaid pay pastor" and had so many questions. 🤣

The way Jessa looked in that photo I don’t think Ben is getting laid that often 

[Chicklet]

Maybe the "headboard" is Jana's doing since she's the Arkansas version of Joanna Gaines.

[wait.what]

Isn’t taking pictures of people while they are sleeping kinda creepy?

if my husband posted a picture of me sleeping on social media, I would be furious. 

[CalicoKitty]

If I remember correctly, Jessa got rid of their bed frame and put the mattress on the floor.   That looks like a wall that needs painting to me.

[jacourt]

Well at least the sheets appear clean. 

[awaken]

1 hour ago, wait.what said:

Isn’t taking pictures of people while they are sleeping kinda creepy?

if my husband posted a picture of me sleeping on social media, I would be furious. 

Ugh, I agree. And, I don’t enjoy seeing other people’s husbands in bed. I have a fb friend who posts her husband in bed shirtless and I’m like TMI!!!!!!!

[Joan of Argh]

1 hour ago, wait.what said:

Isn’t taking pictures of people while they are sleeping kinda creepy?

if my husband posted a picture of me sleeping on social media, I would be furious. 

And this isn't the first time she's posted a pic of Ben sleeping with Ivy sprawled beside him.

I'm starting to wonder why Jessa's kids are always passed out sleeping on floors, couches, chairs like they wandered around until they dropped and slept wherever they were.

Don't they have nap times?.. When my kids were little they'd get up, have their breakfast and play until it was time for a snack or lunch and then it was quiet time for a nap.... Sure once in a while the youngest might fall asleep on a couch but then I'd carry them to their bed for their nap because I was cleaning or cooking or doing things in the main living area and it wasn't the best spot for a snooze.

Jessa often posts pics with Spurgeon flopped and snoring on the carpet or Henry sprawled on the couch fast asleep or Ivy laying on Ben sleeping.

[GeeGolly]

5 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

And this isn't the first time she's posted a pic of Ben sleeping with Ivy sprawled beside him.

I'm starting to wonder why Jessa's kids are always passed out sleeping on floors, couches, chairs like they wandered around until they dropped and slept wherever they were.

Don't they have nap times?.. When my kids were little they'd get up, have their breakfast and play until it was time for a snack or lunch and then it was quiet time for a nap.... Sure once in a while the youngest might fall asleep on a couch but then I'd carry them to their bed for their nap because I was cleaning or cooking or doing things in the main living area and it wasn't the best spot for a snooze.

Jessa often posts pics with Spurgeon flopped and snoring on the carpet or Henry sprawled on the couch fast asleep or Ivy laying on Ben sleeping.

From what we've seen Ivy doesn't have a bed. Jessa didn't even set up the crib for her. Ivy sleeps with Jessa and Ben. 

And, no it doesn't seem the kids are on any schedule.

[doodlebug]

10 hours ago, awaken said:

Ugh, I agree. And, I don’t enjoy seeing other people’s husbands in bed. I have a fb friend who posts her husband in bed shirtless and I’m like TMI!!!!!!!

It is bad enough to take the photo in the first place, but to then post it online for tens of thousands of strangers to see is awful.  I hope Ben saw it before she posted it and approved although I would doubt it would matter to her if he didn't.

Jessa seems to take parenting tips from the best Mama ever and her kids have no schedules, they sleep where they drop, wearing whatever they happen to be wearing, maybe in a bed, maybe on the floor.  Jessa is really completely ignorant of how undesirable and off-putting her life is.  Just like the dirty diaper pile, she thinks there is something adorably normal about a toddler who doesn't have a designated sleep space and just collapses on the nearest parent when it is time for bed.

Edited January 18, 2021 by doodlebug

[ozziemom]

IIRC didn’t the early TV specials show Meechelle and her color coded scraps that seemed to be a very rigid daily schedule? Somewhere along the way that all fell apart, perhaps as the Sister Moms were more in charge. And Meechelle was off on her treadmill drinking Starbucks. That might be the way Jessa raised her buddies so to her the lack of a schedule is normal. The sleeping arrangements at the Mold house have always been strange. Didn’t they only recently move the boys into a separate room?

[GeeGolly]

35 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

IIRC didn’t the early TV specials show Meechelle and her color coded scraps that seemed to be a very rigid daily schedule? Somewhere along the way that all fell apart, perhaps as the Sister Moms were more in charge. And Meechelle was off on her treadmill drinking Starbucks. That might be the way Jessa raised her buddies so to her the lack of a schedule is normal. The sleeping arrangements at the Mold house have always been strange. Didn’t they only recently move the boys into a separate room?

They did have a rigid schedule, however I don't think the start of the day began until Michelle was up. I'm guessing the kids had a fair amount of time in the morning wandering around, eating pickles and cold oatmeal before Mama woke up. I also think the youngers just fell asleep where they were when Michelle was home schooling and being the task master with the older ones.

As far as Jessa's boys, it seems Spurge was moved into the "guest room" right before Ivy was born. Henry was moved there sometime during Ivy's first year.

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

They did have a rigid schedule, however I don't think the start of the day began until Michelle was up. I'm guessing the kids had a fair amount of time in the morning wandering around, eating pickles and cold oatmeal before Mama woke up. I also think the youngers just fell asleep where they were when Michelle was home schooling and being the task master with the older ones.

As far as Jessa's boys, it seems Spurge was moved into the "guest room" right before Ivy was born. Henry was moved there sometime during Ivy's first year.

I personally think the rigid schedule was a made-for-TV contrivance to further the idea that the Duggars are so much better than everyone else.  How could they encourage the heathens in their godly footsteps if they didn't insist that their way of doing things wasn't just different, but better?

[BitterApple]

I've been wondering for a while if Jessa isn't battling some form of depression. Everything in her life screams "I'm over it." Between the greasy kids, filthy house and showing up to events looking like she rolled out of bed, I tend to think there's something more going on than repeating her upbringing. My mother was disorganized and a terrible housekeeper, but my siblings and I didn't walk around with hair that looked like it hadn't seen shampoo in weeks. I also wonder if Bin isn't particularly helpful. It's not like tutoring at the TTH is this stressful, all-consuming career. With only one quasi-employed adult, you'd think there'd be plenty of time to get their house and family in order.

Edited January 18, 2021 by BitterApple

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I've been wondering for a while if Jessa isn't battling some form of depression. Everything in her life screams "I'm over it." Between the greasy kids, filthy house and showing up to events looking like she rolled out of bed, I tend to think there's something more going on than repeating her upbringing. My mother was disorganized and a terrible housekeeper, but my siblings and I didn't walk around with hair that looked like it hadn't seen shampoo in weeks. I also wonder if Bin isn't particularly helpful. It's not like tutoring at the TTH is this stressful, all-consuming career. With only one quasi-employed adult, you'd think there'd be plenty of time to get their house and family in order.

I think it's certainly possible. I've thought for awhile now that Jessa must be pretty bitter that she followed the family playbook, but nobody seems to give a shit compared to Jill sending her kids to public school and Jinger moving out of state. In the past, I used to feel so uncomfortable looking at pictures of the Dillards because it just seemed like the tension in that house radiated out of every image. I get that vibe from the Seewalds now. 

[GeeGolly]

I don't think any of the Duggars see dirtiness in the same way as most. None of the grandchildren from the actual daughters are clean, with the exception of Lissy. I would also bet all of them think a messy house is dirty and a picked-up house is clean.

I am slightly surprised that Jessa doesn't put more effort into how she appears, at events though. Maybe she thinks her frumpy-dumpy is still better than most.

[Growsonwalls]

4 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I've been wondering for a while if Jessa isn't battling some form of depression. Everything in her life screams "I'm over it." Between the greasy kids, filthy house and showing up to events looking like she rolled out of bed, I tend to think there's something more going on than repeating her upbringing. My mother was disorganized and a terrible housekeeper, but my siblings and I didn't walk around with hair that looked like it hadn't seen shampoo in weeks. I also wonder if Bin isn't particularly helpful. It's not like tutoring at the TTH is this stressful, all-consuming career. With only one quasi-employed adult, you'd think there'd be plenty of time to get their house and family in order.

I think Jessa is a self-limiting person. She doesn't have the curiosity to make her own life more interesting. She also doesn't have the religious fervor to truly commit herself to the fundie life with zeal. We might roll our eyes at Jill's diet of self-help Christian books but at least it probably made her more educated, increased her literacy, and made her a more capable mother. On the other side of the coin it seems as if Joy has genuine religious fervor. She is on a mission to live the most fundie life possible.

Jessa is in between. She doesn't really care about that religious nonsense as more than a way to stay on tv. But she also doesn't have the curiosity to break free. So we'll see her in the same sweatpants, greasy hair, and her kids are still building the same forts.

[emmawoodhouse]

Jessa builds a bed for Spurge.

 

[ouinason]

I have SO many thoughts about that video.  The one actual nice one is that Jessa could actually do this DIY building stuff as a youtube channel and do fairly well (with someone else holding a camera and no kids).  The others are... not as kind.

[BitterApple]

Wow, so much to digest.

For starters, major props to Jessa for building an entire bed. I couldn't do that in a million years. She also looked really cute in the black joggers and pink sweatshirt. It's a nice departure from cardigans and maxi skirts.

But on a snarky note, could Ben have possibly been any more disengaged? I get that someone needed to watch Ivy, but it's weird how he stood there like a lump until Jessa asked him to help move the finished product into the bedroom. I also noticed he didn't look at or acknowledge her when she told him to let Ivy climb up on the bed. There is some serious passive-aggressive bitterness going on in that relationship.

[CouchTater]

13 minutes ago, ouinason said:

I have SO many thoughts about that video.  The one actual nice one is that Jessa could actually do this DIY building stuff as a youtube channel and do fairly well (with someone else holding a camera and no kids).  The others are... not as kind.

I don't know how to react.  My feminist gut says "girl power!" and "Go Jessa!" but then my feminine brain says "where is her frickin' husband while she builds a damn bed???"  But I'm impressed by her work.  I certainly wouldn't attempt it.  I'm still trying to work up the courage to do some patch work on the grout for my floor tiles (I bought the supplies a month ago but still doubt my skills).

Just curious:  What are some of your not-so-kind thoughts?  

Edited January 19, 2021 by CouchTater

[crazy8s]

so they are moving all three kids into that room since the toddler bed is still there? #4 is probably on the way.....

the upper bunk needs slats across under the mattress, not just the plywood......

Edited January 19, 2021 by crazy8s

[ouinason]

16 minutes ago, CouchTater said:

Just curious:  What are some of your not-so-kind thoughts? 

1.  Spurgeon already has the "isn't this fun" delivery for youtube, which is deeply sad.

2.  Get those children OFF of that cart!

3.  JFC, why are you letting Spurgeon hang on that rail like that?

4. That mattress was nasty

5.  Don't put that baby up there!  

6.  Nip that climbing over the side of the bed in the bud right now girl, you do NOT want to have to do the "we went to the ER today" video in a month.

[CouchTater]

7 minutes ago, ouinason said:

1.  Spurgeon already has the "isn't this fun" delivery for youtube, which is deeply sad.

2.  Get those children OFF of that cart!

3.  JFC, why are you letting Spurgeon hang on that rail like that?

4. That mattress was nasty

5.  Don't put that baby up there!  

6.  Nip that climbing over the side of the bed in the bud right now girl, you do NOT want to have to do the "we went to the ER today" video in a month.

Agreed!